Nothing more exciting for me today than a haircut. But yesterday I went to Morocco. Club Morocco that is.

Only four of us for the Wednesday walking group so we drove the 12K out to Subic town’s barangay Cawag and commenced a 9K hike near the Keppel shipyard. Here, let me show you: (by the way, most of these photos are from Scott’s steady camera hand)

It was a good day to discover new places. And that’s about as good as it gets around here.

…but at least I have my census.

Yep, it’s that time of year (decade?) here in the Philippines. And when they do a census, they do it old school. I’m talking about going house-to-house and knocking on doors. And once they’ve caught you at home, they slap one of these on your door:

Or maybe this hands-on census thing is just a plot to spread the virus. *cough cough*

Well, it is Hash Monday once again. This week we are being trucked out to the starting point in the Hashmobile, something I really despise. I’m already plotting on bypassing the truck and doing my own trail to the On-Home at Hunter’s Jo Inn. I won’t say shortcut because without the truck ride I’ll be walking further than the 5K trail the Hares (Leech My Nuggets and Blow My Pipe) have laid. I may however choose to forego the mountain climb. We’ll see soon enough I suppose.

As we speak, the installers are here setting up my new fiber-optic internet connection. I’ve been getting by on the cable version but some days it is slower than others. Gets frustrating at times, and I don’t even do much of anything other than surf the net. Hopefully, the promised speed (50 MPS) will be delivered. I’ll believe it when I see it.

And my new laptop has the power to put all that speed to good use. Sadly, the operator of said computer is incompetent. One bright spot though is I’ve been retraining my hands to hit the right keys on this tiny keyboard. Even been writing this post with only my normal number of typos. Progress!

What else have I got for you this morning? How about a joke?

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, “Kin ya swallar?’ The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, ‘Kin ya breathe?” The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, ‘Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t niver seed nobody do it!’

Okay, it seemed funny at the time. How about this:

Speaking of jokes, nothing beats politics these days.

Just don’t try to change any minds on Facebook!

Oh well, that’s enough for now I reckon.

More or less.

After having my laptop stolen last year I purchased a replacement at a local store in Olongapo. Techno-peasant that I am, I bought a piece of crap. I was bitching to a techno-savvy friend about all the issues I was having and he came over and had a look. When he pulled up the stats he was surprised that Dell would even market such a worthless conflagration of bits and bytes. He told me his son in Hawaii could order one built to my specs and needs and have it shipped. I was down with that. There were some fits and starts but it finally arrived yesterday.

The laptop is performing well so far, limited only by the degree of suckiness I’m encountering with my internet. I’m supposed to be getting a fiber optic connection “soon”. Well, I’ve paid for it anyway, we’ll see when the provider actually comes through. My only real complaint is that the new laptop is quite a bit smaller than what I am used too. I’ll adapt to it I suppose. The real issue has been the cramped keyboard. My big old clumsy fingers can’t seem to stay on the “home keys” I so diligently learned back in high school typing class. Especially my right hand. Very frustrating when I’m attempting to send a message or comment on a post. In fact, I’m writing this on a plug-in keyboard I bought some time ago. I’m still going to learn to type in my cramped quarters, hopefully soon.

The big news if you haven’t heard yet is that Kevin Kim is setting out on a marathon walk from Incheon to Busan, South Korea. And I’m going with him! Vicariously of course. As much as I enjoy my hikes that kind of distance walking is beyond my capacity for pain tolerance. He’ll be blogging daily about his experience so you can follow along too, here. Good luck, Kevin!

I’ve been a lazy bastard again today. Got my morning 10,000 steps in but haven’t done shit since. Well, I did get a nice massage from Nikole, bless her heart. She even took a shower with me before we started. And she really does a very nice, legitimate, massage. She’s also happy to make sure you’re happy at the conclusion.

I do have a crockpot full of meatballs stewing away in the kitchen.

I had intended to bake a cake as well. However, when I pulled the box of cake mix off the shelf I noticed some ants crawling about. Well, no big deal, the box was still sealed. Except when I opened the box, the ants were inside there too. How does that happen? But the real surprise was when I took a closer look at the mix ingredients still inside the inner plastic bag, I could see the little buggers swimming around in the powder. Nope, I like my cake meatless, thank you very much! Into the trash it went. Now, I will confess that the cake mix had been on my shelf for a few months, so my bad. Still impressed with the creativity and engineering skills of that breed of ant.

After my pal Jim helped me set up the new computer, we headed out to Mangos for dinner and beers.

Here’s a Facebook fact check I’d like to see:

Speaking of Facebook, this rings true:

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for today.

In its own way. Well, that’s what the song says anyway. I’ve seen some fucked up shit in my time that is the opposite of beautiful. But I guess the point is that it matters how you look at the world around you and that outlook determines its relative beauty.

So, welcome to another beautiful rainy afternoon in the Philippines. The weather was kind enough to stay dry until I completed my morning rounds. That and my nap is the sum of all my accomplishments thus far today. But I do have some beautiful photographs from yesterday’s hike to share with you:

Oh well, at least I didn’t fall on trail. And my new backpack worked out great. Almost no shoulder pain during the hike.

Ain’t life beautiful?

Everything is beautiful in its’ own way
Like a starry summer night or a snow covered winter’s day
Everybody’s beautiful in their own way
Under God’s heaven, the world’s gonna find a way
There is none so blind as he who will not see
We must not close our minds, we must let our thought be free
For every hour that passes by, you know the world gets a little bit older
It’s time to realize that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

Well, it is the rainy season after all. And compared to last year it’s been pretty mild. Mostly just afternoon thunderstorms. Like the one that is raging outside my window right now. Into each life some rain must fall I suppose.

Really nothing of significance to report today. Everything is the same around here and my life, imperfect though it may be, is still the best thing that ever happened to me.

I did enjoy a nice hike with my Friday walking group this morning. We started and finished here at my house. I provided post-hike cold beer, chips and dip, and chicken nuggets to my tired, thirsty, and hungry guests.

I won’t leave you with nothing of substance today, don’t worry. Here’s an article talking about President Duterte’s ham-fisted efforts to control COVID and in the process destroying the economy. Now there is talk of delaying the 2022 elections and keeping Duterte in power beyond the constitutional term limits. Fun times! I had to laugh at this tweet from the Foreign Secretary expressing his displeasure with the idea:

“You don’t cancel elections for any reason. That’s treason,” the top Filipino diplomat tweeted.

“We are a democracy or a s*** slave colony. Hold elections period. Those brave to stand in line & vote—even if only 12—decide the next President. Elections=democracy or F*** U. You fucking s***,” he added in a less-than-diplomatic, expletive-laden tweet. 

Tell us how you really feel! Funny how someone forgot to edit out one of the “fuck” words. Ah well, only in the Philippines. I am a guest in this country so none of it is any of my business, I understand that. But I also can’t close my eyes to the suffering of the Filipino people due to these idiotic policies. I think my neck is permanently damaged from shaking my head in disbelief so frequently.

I’ve been hearing from my friend in Cambodia and life there seems so much more, well, normal. Of course, too many hoops for me to jump through to get there now but it remains my Plan B should things go totally to shit here.

Shit not of my own making I mean. I carry that with me wherever I go!

Today’s big idea was to hike to the mall in Olongapo city. I got a couple of kilometers up the highway and thought better of it. For one thing, the traffic was heavy and that is nerve-wracking on those narrow shoulders. But the main thing that changed my mind was my stomach was not quite right. I felt the need to fart but I could tell there was reason to believe things would come out wrong. I shart when that happens.

So, I crossed the highway (I always walk facing traffic) and waited to flag down a Jeepney. And waited. With the new COVID capacity restrictions it seemed the first several that passed were full. I was about to give up when one finally pulled over. I had the required mask and face shield but smiled to myself when I saw the sign that passengers over 60 (and under 20) are not permitted. Well, I’m 55. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. No one asked though.

The Jeep dropped me at the Kalaklan gate to the old Navy base. I walked a click or so from there to the Harbor Point mall, arriving at ten minutes after ten. I was surprised to see people waiting to enter because the posted signage said the mall opens at 10:00. Not today it didn’t. I decided to continue on to the SM mall a bit further down the road. As I passed another entrance to Harbor Point they were just opening the doors for business. So I did the requisite temp check and filled out the contact tracing paperwork to gain access. What a pain in the ass.

Once inside I headed over to the Globe store to find out what was going on with my cellphone bill. I have an unlimited data plan and the cost is usually around 3500 pesos. They used to send me a message telling me when the bill was due and how much I owed. I haven’t heard anything this month, so I checked online. There it said I owed 4700 pesos for the July to August time frame. Bullshit, I paid my bill via credit card on August 25. I wanted to get that straightened out but when I arrived the store was closed for the 24th and 25th for unspecified reasons. Damn. They had a kiosk out front so I logged in and checked my account. It said my next payment wasn’t due until October 25 and that my previous payment was made on September 25. I guess the machine can see into the future or something. I speculate that they are going to automatically bill my credit card for this month’s payment. We’ll see, but at least it isn’t overdue.

It was pretty shocking to see what a ghost town Harbor Point mall has become with very few customers inside and many stores closed down–even McDonald’s was shut. I walked on through and then headed off base to the SM mall. There was a short line to get into the grocery store but I wanted full mall access. I went around to the front and there was a long line to get inside. Hmm, on a hunch I went back to the supermarket side and walked right in without even a temperature check. And yes, I could still get into the mall from there. I chuckled watching the dupes getting the standard temp check and questionnaire routine as I headed up the escalator.

My next stop was the eyeglasses store where I had purchased my frames and lenses. One of the pads that rests on your nose had fallen off and it made them rather uncomfortable to wear. They fixed them promptly and surprisingly told me “no charge”. I bought some lens cleanser spray (buy 1 get 1 free) and it came to 70 pesos. I handed the clerk a 100 and they were having a hard time coming up with the change. So, I grabbed two more bottles of cleanser and gave him 40 more pesos. Win-Win!

Next stop was the SM department store. I was hoping to find a replacement backpack for my hikes. Nothing physically wrong with my old one but it gets uncomfortable when I carry it around for a while. Kind of surprising because I usually only have a couple of bottles of water and cookies or candy inside. Anyway, what I wanted was one that has on the front that strap you can clip across your chest to take some of the weight off your shoulders. And I had the good fortune to find one. Although I had to wait ten minutes or so until someone could find the key to the stockroom. Yeah, I was shaking my head in disbelief thinking “only in the Philippines”.

With my purchase in hand and all errands completed, I exited the mall, crossed the street, and made my way down to an open McDonald’s. It has been a LONG time since I’ve had a Quarter Pounder and fries. It will likely be a long time before I do again. Not nearly as good as I remembered. Oh well. I was going to take a taxi home but called my driver to see if he wanted to earn the fare. He did, so I had a comfortable ride home. And thus ended today’s adventure.

But wait, there’s more! I had a hiking adventure yesterday to tell you about. A not too challenging 8K walk from my house to Hunter’s Jo Inn in Calapadayan with the Wednesday walking group. I’ll let the photos do most of the talking:

We had a couple of beers at Hunter Jo’s with the owner, Mark. Then he was kind enough to drive us back to the border of Barretto. It was a good day on a good trail!

Later that afternoon I dropped into Cheap Charlies and found myself to be the only customer surrounded by twelve thirsty waitresses. Damn, I actually felt sorry for their boredom and lack of earning potential. I talked to my regular waitress, Lovely, about giving each girl the equivalent of a drink commission (50 pesos). She kind of hesitated and then I asked whether their salary was contingent on meeting a daily drink quota. She nodded and so I bought all the girls a lady drink. I very rarely do that, but I was just in the mood for some reason. A friend of mine is building houses for the needy in Cambodia, I guess the $24.00 I paid was well spent in a small way. After all, I was in a place named after people like me.!

Let me close with just a small dose of politics, but kind of big news in its own way–after all these years I finally found myself agreeing with Hillary Clinton!

Speaking of the Supreme Court and filling vacancies, Ann Althouse had a pretty interesting, albeit scary, scenario whereby Obama becomes President again.

I invite Joe Biden to pledge to follow this pathway to putting Barack Obama back in the White House. By pledging, he may improve his chance of getting elected. Who knows? The Ruth Bader Ginsburg Dying Wish must come true. The vacancy on the Supreme Court must remain open. I won’t spend time on that step, because that’s what everyone’s already talking about. So let’s jump forward to the new things:

First, President Joe Biden nominates Vice President Kamala Harris for the Supreme Court. He pledged to pick a black woman. Pledge kept. Now, he has the distinction of choosing not only the first black woman for the Court but also the first Asian person.

The choice would also meet a long-discussed goal of putting someone with political experience on the Court. This is something Bill Clinton wanted to do. In reminiscing — just a few days ago — about his choice of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, he openly talked about his original preference for someone political (specifically Mario Cuomo). Trump has shown the same interest when he put Ted Cruz and Tom Cotton on his Supreme Court list.

When Harris is confirmed, she will resign from the vice presidency, which will give President Biden the power to appoint the new Vice President. He can pick Barack Obama. Then all Biden needs to do is resign. He’s feeling too elderly to serve. Oops! Thought I could do it, but turns out I’m getting weaker by the day. Whatever. Or don’t even surprise us. Tell us now that you’ll follow this path. Then, when you resign, you’ll just be doing what you promised, keeping your pledge.

And don’t tell me Barack Obama is term-limited. As Supreme Court nominees like to say, you read the text and you say what it means, not what you wish it would mean. Here’s the text of the 22nd Amendment: “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice….” There’s no point in this scheme where Barack Obama is elected to the office of the President more than twice. He’s appointed Vice President, and he assumes the presidency not by another election but by the resignation of President Biden.

Well, I’ve been on record for awhile now that the Dems will find some excuse to replace Biden prior to the actual election. But hey, this might actually work better for them.

I’m glad to be in the Philippines. I like my boring adventures just fine, thank you!

Yesterday was a bad day for me. Not as bad as it was for those folks depicted above, but pretty much fucked just the same.

So rock me momma like a wagon wheel
Rock me momma any way you feel
Hey, momma rock me
Hey, rock me momma like the wind and the rain
Rock me momma like a south bound train
Hey, momma rock me

Things started going bad when I first woke up for a piss at 0200. For some unfathomable reason Darius Rucker’s Wagon Wheel was playing in my head and I couldn’t turn it off. I mean, I like the song just fine but it’s hard to sleep with that verse playing endlessly over and over in your brain. I finally had to get up, go downstairs, and grab my Bluetooth headphones and phone. Then I picked a Spotify easy-listening playlist, turned the volume to low, and laid back down. I succeeded in drowning out Rucker and actually enjoyed some unfamiliar tunes until slumber overtook me again. What a night.

After the morning dog walk, I headed down to the ATM at the 7/11 store but the machine was out of service. So I moseyed on across town to the other BPI ATM (BPI is the only bank that allows 20,000 peso withdrawals) and it was down as well. Ah well, that’s how it goes sometimes. I had enough cash in my wallet to carry me through the day so no big deal.

Then I came back home and fired Gina, one of my helpers. She was in the yard and I greeted her but she ignored me. That seemed weird. I sat down at the computer and she walked by and I asked her what was going on and she just glared at me and kept walking. And then I lost it. I don’t get screaming and throwing shit mad too often, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be treated rudely and disrespected in my own house, by the hired help no less. She went upstairs to her room while I ranted and raved then I screamed up at her to pack her shit and get out.

A little background: A couple of days ago I heard Gina coughing in the middle of the night. The next morning I teasingly told her that sounded like a dry cough and she better go get tested for COVID. Apparently (according to my other helper) she was offended by my joke. But rather than say something to me about it she did the silent treatment routine. Well, there’s actually a word in Tagalog for this kind of behavior: tampo. It loosely translates to sulking, but it is more intense than that when engaged in by a Filipina. It is said that once a Filipina goes tampo she won’t speak to you for three days. Then she comes back like nothing ever happened. Well, I won’t tolerate that shit from a girlfriend. I sure as hell don’t want a tampo employee around.

Anyway, she left but didn’t take all her stuff. Didn’t come home last night either. I told my other helper to make sure she gets the key back, otherwise, I’ll have to change the locks. What a pain in the ass.

Earlier this month I wrote about a married woman I know. Fun to be around and chat with, but safely unavailable. She came by the house yesterday to talk with my helper Teri. She was crying and telling about how her husband wanted to walk away from the marriage and that he has withdrawn all support from her. Pretty sad actually, especially in light of how loyal she’s been to him despite his (alleged) transgressions and shortcomings. My advice to her was she should look forward, not back. Her husband has actually done her a favor–giving her a chance to pursue a new and hopefully happier future. To have time with her kids and family back in the province. And now Judy and I are chatting on messenger. Hoo boy, I’m going to have to be careful. Adultery is a crime in this country. Stay tuned.

Played darts again last night. Maybe slightly better than last week but that ain’t saying much. Didn’t place, but wasn’t first out either. I don’t know, I’m still trying to decide if I’m even having fun at it anymore. Of course, the alternative is sitting at Mangos alone, and watching the water hit the beach. I probably need a couple of nights of being more social than that.

I did enjoy a few beers at Mangos after darts last night though.

Stopped into 7/11 on the way home and the ATM was back online. Punched in my transaction, everything seemed normal, heard the whirring sound it makes when cash is being dispensed, then nothing came out. What the hell? The helpful clerk then told me that the machine had run out of money. A fitting ending to my crappy day I suppose.

Today has gone much better so far. I grilled up my USDA ribeyes for breakfast.

On my morning hike, I visited the BPI ATM on the far side of town. It was online and best of all it actually dispensed the 20,000 pesos I requested. My luck has indeed changed.

As I continued to walk I saw this interesting view up near the top of the mountain (as seen from the highway, I wasn’t climbing):

My masseuse should be arriving shortly so let me wind down this long-ass post with a little political humor.

Alright, here’s Darius singing Wagon Wheel. Play it at your own risk. Warning: It might get stuck in your head!

UPDATE: Gina came home just now. Apologized for her behavior and asked for her job back. I told her I’d give her a second and last chance. I also said that in the future if she has a problem with something I say or do, just let me know. We’ll see.

UPDATE II: Judy sent me a message asking if I wanted to meet her somewhere “secret” to get to know one another better. Uh oh. I told her better to wait until her situation is resolved. There will be plenty of time to decide next steps then. Jesus. What the fuck am I doing?

Better than a poke in the eye I guess though. Anyway, near the end of today’s hike, I got distracted, turned my head for a moment, then turned back just in time to step full-throttle into a low hanging branch. Hurt like a dickens but not much damage.

That is just about all I did today was hike.

10K all together. We walked the ridgeline all the way out to the “German’s house” then turned around and headed back. It’s called the German’s house because some German guy lives there at least part-time. It is without a doubt as far out as you can get and as high up as it goes. It is nearly total isolation. The house is behind a wall and I’ve never seen it close up. It is visible sometimes from Barretto so it must be pretty damn big. There is a dirt road up from Olongapo you could drive if you have a 4×4. Maybe not during rainy season though. Today I saw a couple of downed trees that would make passage difficult. I personally could not live that way. Too far from the beer joints!

Simon went home and Jim and I went to Cheap Charlies for some rehydration. Then the skies opened up and the rain poured down. I tried to wait it out but had a delivery coming to the house. Wound up taking a trike home.

I might have something of more substance to say soon. Hey, it could happen!

More or less.

Started off my morning firing up the oven and baking up a batch of these:

As is my wont, I posted the above photo on my Facebook page. Shortly thereafter I got a message from a Filipina friend wanting to know the ingredients and where to find them. So, I had to fess up:

After my muffin breakfast, I walked the dogs then I walked myself. Kept it flat again because I’m uncomfortable up in the mountains alone these days. I did go relatively rural though.

Not much else happening. I’m actually going to practice some darts here at the house this afternoon. I’d love to get the passion for the game back, but my pride won’t take throwing the way I have been. So my ego dictates that I put forth some effort. I’ll let y’all know how that works out.

After dart practice? Hmm, I don’t know.

What am I forgetting? Ah, now I remember:

That’s all for now.

Or something like that.

Anyway, the price I paid last night for not practicing darts and playing only once a week was pretty much shame and humiliation. Players I used to dominate were making me look like a chump. My partner Espie was throwing like a champ and that actually made me feel worse about my incompetent performance. She was good, but not good enough to carry my sorry ass higher than a third-place finish. Being embarrassed like that will either provide me the needed motivation to start practicing an hour a day or convince me to just give up the game once and for all. We shall see.

A few months back I wrote about, Catherine, the dancer from Wet Spot I ran into on the street. I helped her out with some food money and we eventually became friends on Facebook. I’ve already confessed to engaging in a purely transactional encounter with her on a couple of occasions. Kind of a win-win–I got to be with a hot 25-year-old and she got the pesos she was craving. The problem was she wanted the pesos a lot more often than I wanted her. She had a sad story of desperation for almost every day of the week. I eventually had to block her. Last time I saw her was right after the bars had reopened. She was back in Wet Spot entertaining a customer. I was so relieved to see her doing what she does best.

This morning I was chatting with a mutual friend and she told me that Catherine was arrested and is now in jail on drug charges. I admit I was surprised to hear that but it got me thinking that maybe all those money requests were for something other than food. And I’ll be damned if Catherine didn’t send me a message an hour later begging me for money to buy food in jail (I’m told prisoners only get rice rations). Well, as bad as I feel for her I didn’t respond to her message. There is no way I’m going to associate with someone involved in drugs in this country. That’s serious shit. The cops have the President’s permission to shoot first and ask questions later with drug suspects. I don’t even want my name on the jailhouse log as a visitor. I will talk with the Wet Spot owner and see if he is taking donations on her behalf. Damn, I feel bad for her throwing away her life like that. I guess it is not all that unusual for prostitutes to get involved in drugs, but you do reap what you sow. Or so I’ve heard.

I guess in many ways I’ve been fortunate to avoid the negative consequences that flow from my own sometimes illicit sexual behavior. I just don’t want to push my luck.

Finalized the trail for tomorrow’s Hash with my co-Hare, Blow My Pipe. We added another down and up to get the distance up to a more respectable 5K. The three climbs are all only moderately difficult (I’m no Günter after all) but I think it will be a satisfying hike for most of the Hashers. A lot of the trail is over the familiar My Bitch terrain but the section we added today should be new for most of the kennel. Anyway, I’ll go out again in the morning and re-hike the trail to make sure that all of our trail markings are intact after the anticipated rainfall tonight.

And that’s my story for today. I better shower up, it’s almost beer o’clock!

Finally made it out to Sit-n-Bull for the pulled pork I’ve been craving. Now, SnB always has several daily specials and to my surprise, the pulled pork sandwich with a side of coleslaw was one of them. To my chagrin, it had been crossed out. So I asked my waitress what was up with that and she told me “out of stock”. My words oozed with disappointment when I said “how do you run out of pulled pork?”. Then she explained that they had run out of the buns the PP is served on. Ah, no problem I told her. I just want the meat. She then asked if I wanted it on regular bread and I said not really, just the meat is fine. The waitress gave me a look and I guess she assessed my hunger because she told me “there isn’t that much”. Then I had a brainfart. “Do you have the large pulled pork sandwich from the regular menu?” Yes, sir. Then bring me that!

Then it was off to Mangos for some beers and flirting with Gee ocean views. Both were nice.

In other news, they arrested the culprits in the murder of David Light on Baloy beach.

Damn, there was something else I wanted to say in the post but I don’t remember what it was. Passalacqua & Associates lawyers can be hired to deal with criminal cases.

Reckon I’ll take a hike and then get ready for some darts this afternoon. That’s the problem with being retired, you never get a day off!