Confucius say man who walks through door sideways is going to Bangkok.

Yes, you are seeing a rare morning post here at LTG. It’s now or never, because I’ve got to be at a Hash run meet-up at 10:30. Not sure what I’m in for; I just know we are catching a ferry to some island and are Hashing there. Should be different and interesting and hopefully not too difficult.

I filled the hours yesterday by exploring the streets here in my part of Pattaya. I had some beers, food, and a massage along the way. My hotel is on Soi 4, so I started there and walked the length of each soi (between the main road and the beach) to see what there was to see. You might call it The Dirty Dozen because that’s how many roads I walked. There was the morning version (through Soi 8) and the nighttime edition, finishing on Soi 13-3 (I don’t understand the numbering system either, there were at least three variants of Soi 13). Anyway, in the interest of time, I’ll let the photos do most of the talking:

That bar above was right next door to where I received my first Thai massage since my last visit seven years ago. It was a nice rubdown that ended happily. She was good with her hands, and when she leaned down and whispered in my ear, “You give me 1000?” it was too hard to say no.

I headed back to the hotel after my rub and tug and the beer next door. Stopped into my favorite little restaurant for a light lunch.

A post, a nap, a shower, then it was time to get back out on the street.

While I was enjoying my beverage of choice, I heard from Dave that he and Jo were back in town from their tourist excursion to the elephant sanctuary and wanted to join me. Wonderful Bar was pretty close to their hotel, so I didn’t have to wait long for company.

Speaking of food, I needed some. We got to talking about possibilities and when Dave mentioned he’d seen a Taco Bell, it triggered a craving. It had been years since I’ve had that American fast food tribute to our Mexican neighbors.

We had one last beer at the original Wonderful Beer Bar, then called it a night. I caught a Baht Bus for the ride back to Soi 4. But something was calling out to me before I reached my hotel.

Alright, time to get ready to Hash with the Pattaya Jungle Hashers. Let the adventure begin! It will likely involve a few beers.

Soi Six here in Pattaya, Thailand, to be precise. That’s the street where I hung out and quaffed some brews last night. But let’s start with the beginning of the day, shall we?

So, I’m taking care of my morning business when I see that my Fitbit has gone black. All my efforts at reviving it proved fruitless. I decided to check out a mall I’d seen on one of my walks in search of a replacement smartwatch.

I say eventually because I arrived at the mall right about 10 a.m. only to discover it opened at eleven. So, I walked up the road a bit and found a restaurant for a late breakfast.

There was a nice supermarket at the mall where I could finally secure some underarm deodorant–none of the convenience stores I checked had any.

I took a 200 baht taxi ride back to the hotel to have time for a nap and to clean up before my doctor’s appointment at 3:15.

Reader Brian had commented that the Pattaya International Hospital was one of the good ones for foreigners. It turns out it is on the same street as my hotel (Soi 4), about two blocks away. I was impressed with how clean, organized, and efficient it was compared to my experience in the Philippines. My appointment was for a consult with an ENT, and I was called in to see him right on schedule. I told him about my recent breathing issues and blocked sinuses. He stuck a scope up my nose and cringed at the image on the screen. That was a little disconcerting. He confirmed what I had already been told–I have stage four blockage from enlarged nodules that must be removed surgically. He took it a step further, saying he’d remove some of the bone so the nodules would not regrow. I told him I was reluctant to have surgery requiring general anesthesia with my COPD. He acknowledged that could be an issue, suggesting I have the surgery performed in a hospital with an ICU to monitor my breathing during the operation better. He recommended I return to the US for the procedure. He also confirmed that my sinus blockage likely affected my blood oxygen, especially when sleeping and breathing exclusively through my mouth. So, he gave me a prescription that may provide temporary relief, but he cautioned it is not a long-term solution. I need the surgery. The bill, including meds, came to 3,440 baht (right at $100), so about twice what I’d pay back home.

With that unpleasant business out of the way, I headed back out to a marketplace I had seen near the mall. I needed to shop for pasalubong for all my Filipina “friends” back home and a suitcase to carry the gifts on the plane.

Another 200 baht cab ride to the hotel, where I stored the goodies and prepared for my night on the town. I decided to get dinner out of the way first and wanted to try that place across the street from my hotel.

After finishing my meal (I even used my spoon to get all of that sauce in my belly), it was time to set out for my evening of exploration.

So, I’m glad I had a look at the Soi 6 bar scene, but I won’t be going back. Just not my thing. This morning on my walkabout, I found myself on Soi 7, and it was full of wide-open spaces-type beer bars. That’s more to my liking, and maybe I’ll get a chance to swing by there again when the bars are open.

I had one more beer on Beach Road as I headed back to the hotel; I might have had a second if the service didn’t suck so bad. And then, as I approached my hotel, I saw my new favorite restaurant and thought it was fitting to begin and end my evening there.

I’m going to meet up with Dave and Jo this evening, and we are going to try the place on the roof of my hotel called Virgin. Since we’ve never been there, I guess we are.

I hear they had some excitement back home in the Philippines today:

I wasn’t completely satisfied with my Thai pun today, so let me give you this:

Okay, cleanse your palate with this one while I go get showered up and ready for another evening out in lovely Pattaya.

A full and mostly fun Tuesday started with a walk to, well, Walking Street. It was about a 7K round trip. Oddly enough, even though it was a flat street walk, I had some severe breathing issues that left me feeling light-headed. I had to stop twice to sit down and try and catch my breath. When I returned to the hotel, my blood oxygen was 89. My deep breathing exercise increased it to 91, but that’s still not good. I’m back in my usual mid-90s today and feeling better. Still, I made a doctor’s appointment for this afternoon at Pattaya International Hospital (conveniently located on the same street as my hotel) to try and gain some insights into what’s happening and what I might do about it. I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.

Here’s some of what I saw along the way to Walking Street:

I took a nap and wrote yesterday’s post, then got ready to head out for a rendezvous with an old dart buddy from Barretto.

Steve returned home at the beginning of the scamdemic and got stuck there. When he was ready to return, the Philippines was still locked down for unvaccinated folks like him. So, he basically said, “fuck that,” and moved to Pattaya. He seems to be doing well here. Steve gave up drinking years ago, but since he plays darts, he knows the local bars (at least some of them). He graciously agreed to give me a tour of the bar district near his home. My friends from Barretto, Dave and Jo, also joined in the fun.

We met up at Steve’s home bar, I-Rovers, which is in the SK Metro bar district. We then strolled down Soi Buakhao, an area adjacent to SK Metro. But what blew me away was a bar area called Tree Town that I’d totally missed on my 2016 visit (if it was even there then). The number of bars in this town is mind-boggling. Even a guy like me who goes out every night would need months to visit them all, and my liver would probably fail before I completed the quest. I’m sure most folks just find the handful of places that suit them and become regulars. This is a tourist town, though, so I guess there are enough thirsty (and horny) visitors to keep these bars in business during high season.

Alas, when I sat down to order, I was told the kitchen had just closed (it was 10:30). They said I could stay and drink, but I wanted to eat something before calling it a night. I remembered a place nearby that was open 24 hours, so I headed there.

And that was my Tuesday.

…to have fun. At least, that’s my plan. If getting here is half the battle, I made it relatively unscathed. Here are the gritty details.

I was a fool when it came to packing. Rather than suck it up and pay for a checked bag, I figured I could squeeze everything into my carry-on suitcase and do my laptop and meds in my backpack. Turns out I had to overstuff both bags, and my carry-on was too heavy, so I was required to check it and was charged 3000 pesos for the privilege. I should have just brought a larger suitcase to begin with. And now the problem is compounded because I’m already getting besieged with requests for pasalubong, the tradition (more like expectation) that a traveler returns bearing gifts from his destination. My plan now is to purchase a larger suitcase here and use it to bring my carry-on, dirty clothes, and gifts back with me to the Philippines.

As I expected it would, Cebu Pacific Airlines sucks. Typical budget carrier, you pay for your ticket, and everything else is extra. Like a checked bag. Or a drink of water. I’ve never been in such a cramped seating configuration either. My knees were jammed against the seat in front of me, and when I lowered the tray table, it landed on top of my belly. A very uncomfortable three hours in the air. I’ll be loathed to patronize this carrier after my return flight.

Another fucked up thing that didn’t affect me personally was the hassle my friend Dave’s girl went through at immigration. This was her first time doing international travel, and the immigration agent almost caused them to miss the flight by conducting a lengthy interview to determine whether she was going to Thailand as part of a human trafficking scheme. She is in her 40s, for chrissake, and has been with Dave for years. The things this government puts its people through are disgusting. Anyway, I was relieved to see them board the flight just a couple of minutes before the door closed.

Getting through immigration in Bangkok was a breeze. A photo, fingerprints, and a stamp in my passport. Yay! Dave had arranged a car and driver for the 100+ kilometer trip from the airport to Pattaya. We arrived about 1:00 a.m., and as regular readers know, that’s the latest I’ve stayed up in a LONG time. I still woke up at 5:30 this morning and went about my internet routine, then took a brief walk around the neighborhood and had some breakfast.

Oh yeah, they drive on the right side of the road here. I was reminded of that when I crossed Beach Road this morning and looked in the wrong direction before stepping out. Oops!

I’m still getting the exchange rate down in my head, but the breakfast above was 160 Bhat which equates to $4.60 US, not bad I suppose.

On the subject of virginity, I ain’t one. I made a trip here back in 2016. Here’s how it started.

Speaking of worst-case scenarios, so far, at least, the breathing seems to be going okay. Wearing a mask on the plane (yeah, the Philippine government still requires that nonsense) wasn’t good, but I survived. I got my nebulizer set up in my room, and I’ll carry my portable one with me on the Hash, just in case.

And what’s a LTG post without a dose of humor?

Tomorrow I’ll have a report on the Hash, and I also plan to get out and see more of the city. So far, I am really enjoying the vibe here. Walking the beach path this morning, I saw more Western-looking folks (mostly men, of course) than Thais. I wonder what that’s all about?

Stay tuned.

…and a mission accomplished. Or, as Tolkien might say, there and back again.

Here’s the story of my final day in Cambodia. A couple of Denny’s female friends volunteered to prepare us a traditional Cambodian meal as a going-away present. That was a sweet offer, and since I’d been dining on everything but local food, I wasn’t about to refuse. Plus, it gave me a chance to see where Denny is living.

After a fine meal, I needed to head back to my side of town to pack and shop for pasalubong, the Filipino tradition of bringing gifts for friends and family after returning from a journey. I was lucky that Ahya knew of a marketplace where I could do my shopping, so we all piled into a tuk-tuk and went together.

After I finished packing (and cramming all that pasalubong into my small suitcase was a challenge), I still had a few hours to kill before departing for the airport. I started killing some time at the little place next to my hotel while waiting for Denny to join me.

I didn’t want to be drunk when I got to the airport, so I was consciously pacing myself. When Denny arrived, I suggested we move on to Larry’s place. I wanted to do a little walking between beers, and I also wanted another go at the chicken quesadillas there.

And hold on to your hats; I did something I almost never do after dark–ordered a cup of coffee. I was serious about boarding my flight home in a state of sobriety. Well, what I didn’t want to happen was to fall asleep at the airport and miss my plane. The coffee (they grind their own beans) perked me up, and Denny suggested we hike out to Sharky’s, the bar where our lunch cooks work, and give me another chance to say goodbye. So, off we went, about a 15-minute walk.

I needed to go back to my hotel, grab my bag, and check out. Accomplished that without issue, although the desk clerk was afraid I was checking out early because I was dissatisfied with the lodging. Not at all, I told him, I’d just messed up my reservation, and Agoda has a no-refund policy. “Sorry, sir.”

Still had thirty minutes until it was time to catch a tuk-tuk to the airport, and you can probably guess how I spent it.

Arrived at the airport more than two hours before my scheduled departure. All my documents were in order (the first time I had to display my vaccination card), and I was given my boarding pass. No trouble with Cambodian immigration either. So, it was just a matter of killing time. And when the time had died, we began boarding the plane. I was shocked to see the flight was almost entirely full (it was nearly empty on the outbound trip), and I didn’t have a row to myself again to facilitate sleeping. My beer medication was kicking in, so I managed some upright sleep for two of the three hours we were airborne.

Landed in Manila, deplaned, had my health pass scanned, and headed to the immigration line. The officer there asked me the standard questions, then inquired as to when I would be departing (you get 30 days on arrival), and I told her December 3rd. She wanted some proof of that, and I’d had the foresight to buy an onward ticket (well, to buy the reservation anyway). She scrutinized it some, consulted the officer next to her, and then…

The purpose of the trip to Cambodia had now been achieved. And I had some fun along the way. I especially enjoyed catching up with my long-time friend Denny again and reminiscing about the good ol’ days. Next time I’ll plan to stay longer.

Well, before I get to last night, let me tell you about my morning so far. I was doing my usual internet stroll when the housekeeping crew showed up to clean the room. So, I took a walk while they did their thing. I was looking for a pharmacy to score some cheap Cialis to bring home with me. And then it happened.

I got hit by a tuk-tuk. I was crossing a busy street, looking left for a break in the oncoming traffic. When I saw my opportunity to step out, I moved forward, and the next thing I knew, a tuk-tuk turning left onto the road blindsided me. Luckily, it was just a mirror into my arm; it could have been worse. The arm’s a little sore, but I’ll be fine. I’ll take the blame because I didn’t look to my right, although the tuk-tuk was making what should be an illegal turn in a civilized world. But again, that’s the downside to this city, not really safe for people who prefer to walk.

The pharmacy didn’t have Cialis, but I didn’t give them a hard *ahem* time about it. I was fine with the generic version. I was making my way back to the hotel, and a foreigner walking in the same direction greeted me and told me his tale of woe. He says he lost his passport and wallet and reported it to the police, but no one was willing to provide him with any assistance. He was on his way to a different police station hoping for a better result. Well, I’ll admit there were some “bullshit” lights coming on in my head, but on the other hand, he seemed strident and genuinely upset. Well, I’d hate to be in that situation if his story was true, and I’d also hate to be so desperate that I need to tell lies to random strangers to gain sympathy. He did seem surprised when I pulled out my wallet, gave him the equivalent of ten bucks in the local currency, and wished him well. He thanked me, and I walked on without further incident.

Okay, about last night, then. Denny and I had made tentative plans to do a river cruise, but when we walked to the dock, there were no scheduled departures for a couple of hours. I had done the cruise on my previous trip, and it was fine but not worth the wait.

We started at a place called Harry’s for a beer while we considered our dining options. Denny wanted to take me to pork chop place across town, but when I saw the Sunday special roast pork dinner on Harry’s menu, I said let’s eat here instead.

After dinner, I was in the mood to take a walk back to some of the places outside the neighborhood we’d visited earlier in the week.

Oh, and true confession time. It turns out the river I’ve been calling the Mekong isn’t the Mekong.

After a goodly walk, we finally found the bar I’d been looking for.

There was one incident that chilled the buzz somewhat. Shortly after the young lady pictured with me sat down with me; a customer came over, slammed a drink down on the table, cussed her out, then walked away in a huff. I asked her what that was all about, and she denied knowing. Hmm, well, there was absolutely no excuse for what that customer did, but I’m sure the girl did something to activate his asshole switch. My guess is that he bought her that drink, and she didn’t sit with him to drink it. Regular readers know I also have no tolerance for that kind of behavior, but I don’t scream and yell about it; I just never buy that girl a drink again.

We moved on to a couple of other bars, then Denny wanted to go to a place called One 3 Six Bar. He had a lady friend who worked then he wanted to see.

Two or three drinks into our relationship, I saw her talking with a newly arrived customer. I figured she was just taking his order (the girls are technically waitresses), but then I saw her move back behind the bar and start making a lady drink. When she saw that I had caught her “cheating,” she came back over to the drink I’d bought her. I told her to go be with her customer. I was upset but not yelling or cussing. The other customer saw what was going on and came over to apologize. I told him that wasn’t necessary; I was glad to know the nature of this girl’s character and that she would not be getting any more drinks from me. She was not happy with my response and stormed off. I saw her other customer leave shortly thereafter. Come on, if you are going to be a bargirl, learn how to play the game.

One more drink back at the bar by my hotel, and I called it a night.

Time to pack, then off for lunch at Denny’s house.

The days are winding down on this trip faster than I imagined. I don’t know why, but while taking a shower this morning, the thought occurred to me that I was leaving for the airport on Monday night. I’d somehow got it in my head that I’d be staying until Tuesday. So, I went to check my ticket, and sure enough, my flight departs at 12:45 a.m. on Tuesday. I made the reservation; I must have known that. The confusion arose because I booked a Wednesday check-out when I extended my stay at the Lux. I did that because I wanted to have a room available up until the time I left for the airport. Somehow my muddled brain read that early morning Tuesday departure as being Tuesday night for some reason. Anyway, I’m glad I didn’t further fuck up by missing my flight altogether.

Did a walk around at lunchtime and found an outdoor venue on the corner of Street 130.

Last night was more of the same–beers, dinner with beers, then some beers after eating. I met up with Denny at Larry’s, the venue I’d visited on Thursday.

Denny suggested a Tex-Mex place for dinner, so we caught a tuk-tuk for the drive across town.

During the meal, I observed something that I’ve been noticing all week. It really stands out for me because it is something that is extremely rare to see in Barretto.

Anyway, after the meal, we headed back to Street 136 and visited Yaya at the bar where she works.

That’s not really fair. She was glad to have me there. And so were her friends.

I don’t recall if I mentioned that Yaya dances. There is no stage at this venue, so she uses the bar.

Anyway, I stayed too long and drank too much. Hey, I’m on vacation. I’m a little unclear on how the evening ended in the bar; it seems she wasn’t happy with the amount I tipped or something. I stumbled across the road to my hotel and went to bed. I only recall there was some dispute because I had sent her a message saying I was sorry to be a disappointment. She hasn’t responded.

Well, this is my last full night in Cambodia, so I’d best be getting on with it. I’ll be back to share whatever adventure I encounter tomorrow.