First things first, today is the third anniversary of my relationship with Swan. That’s quite a milestone given my long history of failing at love. My goal is to make this love last a lifetime. Wish me luck!

As far as yesterday went, the most significant event was me getting grumpy. That’s not particularly unusual, but I don’t recall it happening in a place named “It Doesn’t Matter.” It did to me. And yeah, it wasn’t a big deal, but I still found it irksome enough to spoil my visit. Here’s what happened: When I’m at IDM, I always sit on the outdoor patio. There are two tables out there and several chairs that line a countertop facing the road. I prefer the tables, but when I arrived, both were occupied with customers, so I took a seat at the counter and ordered up a beer while I awaited Swan’s arrival. I noted one of the table customers had a couple of the waitresses sitting with him, and he bought them lady drinks and some food. When he finally got up and left, I prepared to claim my table. Except the waitresses continued to sit there chatting away and playing with their phones. I figured maybe the customer was coming back and they were saving his table. Except he didn’t return, and they both acted like I wasn’t even there. I finally got up, went inside the bar, and got another beer. You’d think they’d take the hint, but they didn’t. So, when I finished my beer, I went back inside, paid my tab, and departed. No one inside seemed concerned about the failure of the wait staff outside to perform their duties. The owner wasn’t there, and it seems there is no one around to manage the place since Cliff and Ashley left for greener pastures at Red Bar. Yeah, I could have said something to the table loungers, and in hindsight, perhaps I should have. But as a long-standing regular customer at IDM, I shouldn’t have to. There are lots of other options in Barretto, and with things being so slow these days, I’m sure my business will be appreciated elsewhere.

Okay, rant over. And I acknowledge that if that’s the worst thing that happened to me yesterday, it was still a pretty fine day.

It’s the rainy season, and the threatening skies limited my hike options. So, I played it safe and did the boring Barretto street walk. Got in a little over 6K but didn’t see anything worthy of pausing to take a photo. On the bright side, I only had to pull my umbrella out twice during the journey.

I didn’t let the IDM thing spoil the rest of my evening either. We stopped by Sit-n-Bull for some grub, and I had a tasty shaved ham sandwich. Then we headed next door to Wet Spot for our nightcap and enjoyed ourselves as usual. The big difference between Wet Spot and The Jungle is that manager Brett plays songs we old-timers like, probably because he is one of us.

I didn’t have a thing to complain about for the rest of the evening and went home for a contented night’s sleep.

I’ve been refraining from politics lately because what’s the point when minds aren’t going to change anyway. I do enjoy laughing along sometimes, though:

I don’t mess around with AI much, but the Meta version on Facebook offered to fix up one of my old photos, so I hit the “okay” button.

Like this one, from Facebook memories today:

Continuing on with the June 2020 LTG archives, and I’m Seriously wondering if I might be better off alone. A nice benefit of this journey through the archives is being reminded of the hows and whys that led me to where I am today. Jessa has told me she doesn’t think I’m serious about her, and the best response I had to that was “sorry you feel that way.” Well, I figured it was my fault that things didn’t work out, but she was better off without me. A great woman, but I was unworthy. And here I am today celebrating three years with Swan, so I guess it was just a matter of timing.

Today’s YouTube video is a short one (less than three minutes), and the Filipina vlogger explains why the tide is turning against us old white guys when it comes to relationships. Yep, the local gals prefer men their age and of the same heritage who share a common language and culture. Go figure.

Humor time:

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a rolled-up magazine.

“What the hell was that for?” he asked.

“That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it,” she replied.

“But you don’t understand,” he pleaded. “Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on.”

“Oh honey, I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have known there was a good explanation.”

Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, “What was that for?” he pleaded.

“Your horse just called!”

Just say it was Mr. Ed’s girlfriend.

And there you have it. It’s raining again today, and I’ve got another birthday party to attend at Alley Hideout. Oh, and I was sad to see that Bonnie Tyler passed away yesterday at the tender age of 75. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite songs of hers:

(Oh, and keep scrolling for the parody version I heard for the first time today)

Yep, I had a good Wednesday. One of the nicer hikes I’ve done in a while took us out in the seldom-visited Cawag area. It’s nice to have someone around with a car to get us there. Thanks for that, Scott! I’ll let the pictures do the talking:

Back home for a nap, a shower, and some brownie baking, then it was off to wish Billy a happy 59th birthday at Alley Hideout.

The Wednesday dart tourney commenced after the party, but I didn’t stick around for that. We moved on to our nightcap at Queen Victoria.

And that’s what a good day for me looks like.

It’s July 2020 in the LTG archives, and I’m feeling a little out of kilter. Another nice date with Jessa, but for some reason I’m holding back. I’d come to regret that someday. Or maybe fate knew that there would be a better option down the road.

In today’s YouTube Shorts video, the Filipina Pea says to me that I’m in the top 1%. Ah, ain’t she sweet to notice.

Let’s go on with these, shall we?

And there you have it. Thanks for coming by!

Luckily, ignorance is bliss, so I’m a happy MOFO. Or so I keep telling myself. But life goes on, for better or worse. And it is better now than it has been.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s move on. Several commenters have recently reported difficulty accessing the blog. Dr. Greg sent this screenshot from his encounter with the internet gods:

Now, if this had been a one-off, I’d assume the problem was on his end. But other readers in and outside of Asia have had similar access issues. So, I contacted my blog host, HostGator, this morning in an effort to see if the problem was on their end. This was the outcome:

Since no issues have been identified with the server, DNS configuration, SSL setup, or the website itself, it is possible that the users experiencing the issue may have firewall, security software, browser extensions, or network restrictions enabled on their systems, which could be preventing access to the website.

I would recommend asking the affected users to try accessing the site from a different browser, network, or device, and to temporarily check whether any firewall or security settings may be blocking the connection.

Please let me know if you continue to have difficulty.

As for my Sunday, it was a sandwich. The bread consisted of a Decay Dance on one side and the seldom-visited Lux Bar on the other. What was in between, you ask? A solo visit to Cheap Charlies and dinner with Swan at Mangos. You know, pretty much the same old shit I have every day. Let me show you what I mean:

As usual, we took a trike back home from where we finished the Dance and wound up in the most decorated three-wheeler I’ve seen.

Swan had business to attend to at her family compound (she’s building a house there), so I was on my own at beer o’clock. I figured Cheap Charlies was as good as anywhere to have a cold one or three, so I hoofed on over. I was there for almost 90 minutes and was the only customer. Things are definitely slow here in the Barrio.

The gals all know that I don’t buy lady drinks there anymore since the price increased to 250 pesos, so they leave me alone. My waitress made sure my beer bottle was never empty, which I always appreciate. And the money I’d normally spend on drinks goes for food, so the crew was happy with their pancit canton and chicken fingers dinner. I had a dinner date with Swan coming up, so nothing for me this time. I paid my tab, tipped my waitress, and headed up the highway to Mangos.

Queen Victoria is our favorite bar on this side of town, but it is closed on Sundays. Swan suggested Gold Bar, but after our bleh experience there on our last visit, I was craving something different. And Lux was practically next door to Mangos, so we popped in. There were a few other customers up front and some guys playing pool in the rear. We grabbed a table in the middle and ordered our drinks. My beer was cold, and Swan’s wine was the cheapest we’d seen anywhere in a long time.

There were only three or four dancers (I think a couple of others had been tabled with lady drinks), but they were comparatively slim and attractive, certainly better than the Gold Bar crew. The music being played was the kind I like, and the volume was appropriate. We enjoyed our visit to Lux, and I expect we will try to drop in more often when we are on this side of town.

And there you have it. Not much meat in that Sunday sandwich, but I found it tasty regardless.

You want some substance? I came across this disconcerting article that outlines the government’s plans for when a future pandemic arrives. Yep, you guessed it: they learned nothing from the COVID scamdemic and plan to implement the same crap that caused more harm than good. I expect there will be fewer sheep willing to do as they are told next time, though. Hopefully, we won’t have to find out.

From Facebook memories:

And now it is on to the June 2020 LTG archives. I’m doing a two-fer today because both relate to my lamenting some missed opportunities to find the love I wanted. In “An Understanding Ear,” Jessa gives me some honest feedback on what I could have had with her if I had made the effort. The day before, I had an encounter with Ilene that left me feeling helpless. Damn, I sure was (am) a slow learner, but I eventually got it right with Swan. So far, anyway.

Today’s YouTube video talks about the five qualities that lead some to have a dearth of friends. And no, “being an asshole” isn’t one of them.

And now it is time to get down with the funny business:

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day when the man looked over at his wife and said, “Your butt’s getting huge. I bet it’s bigger than the barbecue.”

With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill. Then he went over to where his wife was working and measured her butt.

“I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!”

The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband felt a little frisky. He made some advances toward her, but she completely brushed him off.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She replied, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”

How big is her mouth?

And now as I sit here contemplating today’s Hash run, I hear the rumble of thunder outside. Oh well, Vienna Sausage is the Hare, so I wasn’t going to bother doing his trail anyway. The On-Home is at the end of Rizal Extension, which I hate because it is hard to get back to town without transport from there, especially in the dark after drinking at the Hash Circle. So, my current plan is to walk the My Bitch trail to the On-Home, have a couple of beers, then depart when the Circle starts and walk down Rizal back to town. We’ll see what the weather has to say about that come 2 pm.

250 years of freedom. How much longer will it last? At least until the “Democratic Socialists” take over. I imagine I’ll be dead by then, thankfully.

Meanwhile, the sands are still dripping from my hourglass, and this is what they saw yesterday:

Just me and Swan for the Friday hike, and we did a nice enough stroll out to Naugsol to get our steps in.

For our Friday evening on the town, I reckoned a trip to the Maze was in order. Back in the day, I hit all six bars in one night. I guess I’m only half the man I used to be because three bars were plenty for me yesterday.

It may not be much, but I’m not complaining.

Back to the May 2020 LTG archives, and I’m still plodding through posts bitching and moaning about the COVID restrictions. They did finally ease things up a tad, allowing some stores to reopen, but not the bars, of course. They also lifted the ban on alcohol sales (for home use only), so I stocked up on several cases of brew. Then there was a big birthday party at my house (an event I didn’t remember until I came across this post). It was a wild and drunken night that could have ended much worse than it did.

In recognition of the 4th of July, I’m offering up TWO musical YouTube videos today. Both are good and funny:

We are on a roll, so let’s keep rollin’:

And there you have it. When is the last time you listened to “Stars and Stripes Forever”? It had been a decade or so for me, so let’s have another listen:

Regarding the above, I should emphasize that plastic bottles are the worst part of litter. People upstream toss them in the river; they wash down to the bay, and then high tide leaves them on the beach. I understand the ocean is full of them too. Now, when I was a child, soda pop bottles were glass and had a three-cent deposit included in the price. And us poor kids would walk around picking up the discarded bottles and return them to the store to collect the deposit refund. Nice way to earn a little cash.

So, yesterday’s big adventure was getting the power of attorney I had notarized in the mail to the USA. A friend said there was an LBC (a FedEx-like company) on Rizal Street, so I made that the destination of my morning walk. Alas, when I arrived, it wasn’t an LBC; it was a JTExpress. And JT doesn’t do international shipments. The clerk there advised that there was an LBC outlet in Subic town near the marketplace. So, we grabbed a Jeepney and headed out. Found the LBC, did the paperwork, filled the envelope, paid 2200 pesos, and the POA was on the way, scheduled to arrive in 3-5 days. We walked a couple of kilometers back to Calapandayan and took a trike home from there.

Anyway, the epilogue to the story came this morning when my daughter advised that the equity loan she was seeking (the house is technically in my name) had been declined. So, I didn’t need the notarized POA (1000 pesos) and didn’t need to send it (2200 pesos). Damn, that’s a LOT of lady drinks money wasted.

As for the remainder of the day, Swan had a family gathering to attend, so I headed out on my own. Paid a rare visit to Snackbar, but only stayed for one beer. I no longer know anyone there, it seems. Since the storm I’d walked through to get to Snackbar was over, I decided to make my way to Kokomo’s on Baloy Beach. Swan advised she’d meet me there.

A couple of beers later, it was time to move on for some dinner. Swan suggested Vikings, and that was fine by me.

I ordered a plank steak with mashed potatoes. I was surprised by how it was served.

And that’s how we finished our Thursday.

From the May 2020 LTG archives, I write about all I’ve learned on the second anniversary of my life in the Philippines. Not a lot has changed since then, other than finally finding true love.

Here’s a photo of me from the archives showing what the lockdown has done to me:

Who remembers that cop show, “Adam-12”? Well, today’s YouTube video is a short three-minute clip of a grumpy old man complaining about hippies. It made me laugh because in the 70s I was pretty much a hippie. And now in my 70s, I’m a lot like that old fucker.

Are you ready?

Sorry for the politics in that last one. Feel free to change the wording to suit your preferences.

And on that note, I decree this post over and done with.

So, if there’s nothing to get grumpy about, you’ve had a good day! My yesterday qualifies, even if it was nothing special. Even the rain couldn’t dampen my spirits! Some street strollin’ and some beer drinking made the day go down the way I like it. It’s nice to be so easily pleased!

Photos from our Wednesday walk (most of these are courtesy of Scott’s camera):

Then at beer o’clock, we headed for town. Carried our umbrellas, but didn’t need them. Better safe than sorry, I suppose.

I needed to hit the ATM, so we popped into It Doesn’t Matter and used the one located there. Had a free beer card, so I used it before we departed. Finished our evening out at The Jungle and had the usual chillaxin’ experience, but this time with dancers and pool games for distractions.

Yeah, that’s the life I’ve chosen. But it beats living in a nursing home.

Moving on to May 2020 in the LTG archives, and I’m still grousing about the ill effects of the COVID quarantine on the people around me. At least in this post, I mention one unexpected benefit. A female acquaintance asked for some financial assistance. I helped her with her needs, and she took care of mine. That’s either a win-win or a quid pro quo if I ever saw one! Regular commenter Brian made some arguments in support of the lockdowns. I’m curious if he still feels that way given all that has been revealed since then.

Today’s YouTube video features a cute Filipina discussing what makes you rich in the Philippines. She makes some valid points that it is not always about the money. I know I’m living a rich life here, although some might argue I’m wasting it on a frivolous lifestyle. Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy things that make you happy. Like beer.

Smile for me:

Suffered enough? Okay, until tomorrow then.

In the meantime, here’s another update from the old guy.

Not much out of the ordinary to report, just the usual grocery-shopping excursion followed by an Ozempic injection from Dr. Jo. Well, I did need to journey into Subic town to get a Power of Attorney form notarized. It went relatively smoothly, and 1000 pesos later, I walked out with the signed form. Now, I just need to get it back to the USA. I’ve got a lead on doing that as well.

For the evening excitement, we ventured out to Harley’s on Baloy. We don’t get there much, but it’s a pleasant place to sit and enjoy the views.

When it was time for a change of scenery, we walked back into town and stopped by Gold Bar. I wasn’t digging the vibe there for some reason last night. Might have been the four disgustingly fat dancers (yeah, like I’m one to talk) on the stage, but something was off. So, before long we moved on to Queen Victoria and had a much more pleasant time there. Once again, manager Jake sat with us and shared some stories that kept us entertained.

And that’s all there was to my Tuesday. I’m not complaining, though. It’s always good to be alive.

Via Facebook memories, toasting Old Glory at midnight, a Grand Ole Opry tradition.

I’ve finished the April 2020 LTG archives journey, and the posts are all about the escalating insanity taking place under the lockdown regime. I selected this post because it recounts how my final “speakeasy” venue was shut down. It was only later that I discovered the shutdown was a lie; it was just me who was blacklisted. Yeah, I fucked up and invited someone to visit in violation of the speakeasy code of conduct. Shame on me.

For today’s YouTube video, I’m happy to report that Reekay is back! Still demonetized by the Google demons, but it’s good to hear his words of wisdom once again. Yeah, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, and it is life’s hard lessons that lead us to a better place.

Smile while you can:

That’s all I’ve got for now.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Well, not exactly my style, but I can take it in small doses at low volume.

Sorry, I define “wild” as more of the same. I really can’t complain about that because I’m still up and moving about, and I have money for plenty of beer. I’m sure for lots of folks my age that ain’t the case. Still, I’m fully aware that this life of mine is winding down, and whatever future I might have isn’t likely to get any better than what I’m living now. So, I’ll just keep on moving forward and see what happens next. But oh, to be young again!

Here’s a brief recap of how things went down yesterday:

When I saw this “house” in the Matain neighborhood, I couldn’t help but think how it captures the spirit of the Filipino people.

Swan spent the afternoon at a gathering of her lady friends, so I was on my own when beer o’clock rolled around. It being Sunday, I made my way to Red Bar to hang out and await Swan’s arrival. I got comped a couple of beers from manager Cliff, and so I just kicked back, sipping my brews and listening to the golden oldies playlist. I’m easily pleased these days.

When Swan arrived, she told me the gals were going to join us at our next stop, Jumpin’ Jacks. So off we went.

I bought the drinks, ordered some snacks to munch on, and enjoyed watching Honey play one of the bar girls in several hard-fought pool games. They were playing for money, and if I recall correctly, Honey handed over 400 pesos before it was over.

Then it was getting close to my bedtime, so Swan and I prepared to depart. Her friends decided they would move down the highway and hang out at Gold Bar next. Ah, to have that kind of energy again.

What else? Well, I’ve posted recently about Southeast Asia retirement options and the cost of living. Today I came across the list of dirtiest and cleanest cities.

From Facebook memories, 8 years ago, the guy who hooked me up with my dog Buddy gave me this picture of Buddy’s mom and dad.

Continuing through the April 2020 LTG archives, and in this post, I’m ranting some more about the insanity we were being subjected to in the name of COVID. Looking back now, I’m pleased that I saw the scam in the pandemic almost from the beginning. This is what triggered me to be a lion instead of a sheep:

Today’s YouTube video provides an example of just how cheaply you can live in the Philippines. I’m paying around $700 a month for my house, but this is what I could have had for only $41. Um, thanks, but no thanks.

Now for the funny buisness:

So, it’s Hash Monday once again, and things might get a little wild. Leech My Nuggets is the Hare, and he has a climb to the Kalaklan Ridgeline in store for us today. Well, it has been a long time since I’ve been up on the ridge, and I honestly do miss it. So, as of now, I’m planning to do the trail.

The forecast says there is a 51% chance of some rain this afternoon. I’m more concerned with a muddy/slippery climb down than anything, but we’ll see what happens.

Scott’s been busy with the AI Gods again and posted pictures of all of us Subic Bay Hashers:

Alrighty then, assuming I survive today’s Hash run, I’ll be back tomorrow with a full report.

Alas, just checked my book, and Kevin Kim did not include a review of Easy Rider. Yet.

Not a lot going on, so I won’t waste much of your time here today telling you about it.

Next on the agenda was the weekly Decay Dance.

Home again, safe and sound, and I get a message on my phone about a package delivery. So, I open the front door and get handed a large envelope emblazoned with the Amazon logo.

Speaking of the Big Hominid’s Hairy Chasms, Kevin is making his blog private. So, if you want to continue having access and haven’t done so already, you need to email him ASAP: bighominid@gmail.com

Since the sun was shining through the cloudy skies, we decided to pay a visit to Kokomo’s Tiki Bar on Baloy Beach to begin our Saturday revelry.

Then it was time to head up the beach to Treasure Island for some dinner. After our meal, we took a trike to Queen Victoria for our nightcap. Queen Vic is getting to be one of our favorite hangouts these days. A great and friendly manager and a nice mix of sights and sounds to keep us entertained.

From Facebook memories, a new addition to the family happened eight years ago.

It’s April 2020 in the LTG archives, and the natives are getting restless. Some protests in Manila over the lack of food under lockdown conditions drew a not-so-sympathetic response from President Duterte: “Shoot them.” Meanwhile, here in Barretto, a local was complaining on Facebook about the foreigners who were still out hiking despite being ordered to stay home. Yep, that would be our group. We had already figured out that us being in the hills wasn’t putting anyone at risk. Click the link for some great photos from our Kalaklan Ridge hike that day. And when we came down from the mountain, an old lady accosted us, claiming to be from the Barangay, and telling us we had to turn around. We didn’t. She said she was calling the police, but they didn’t find us. And the COVID fun had only just begun.

Today’s YouTube video talks about the big hit records from 60 years ago. Oddly enough, even though I was just eleven back then, I knew and liked all of these. And I still do. Better than that shit disco and rap some bars insist on playing.

Humor time:

Okay, we’ve made it through another post. One of these days, something interesting is bound to happen, right? Right?

So, sadly, it is now confirmed that Myleen’s Cafe is indeed permanently closed. Since John’s place went out of business, it was probably my most frequently visited eatery in Barretto. So, what does that leave me? Still lots of options, including Sit-n-Bull, Foodies, Mango’s, Treasure Island, and Jewel. No more birria tacos, though.

It’s been raining off and on, but life goes on, and timing is everything.

We carried umbrellas with us when we headed out for our Friday morning walkabout. Given the threatening skies, we opted to play it safe with a Baloy Beach walk.

Yesterday, there was a Hash meeting to make plans for the anniversary Hash event coming up this October. We met at the VFW, started at 2, and finished at 2:30. Now what? Well, a few of us headed over to Cheap Charlies. There is a reason I don’t like to start drinking until later in the afternoon, and starting early like this was a good reminder of why. No, I didn’t fuck up, but by the time I headed home at 8 pm, I was a lot drunker than I wanted to be.

Last night was the official grand opening of The Jungle, and Swan met me there at 4:30. The actual celebration kicked off at 8 pm, but I was in the “one beer too many” zone by then, so I didn’t stay for the party.

And that’s how I rolled through another day in the life.

From Facebook memories, this photo from 2009 was a reminder of what was and will never be again.:

Wrapping up March 2020 in the LTG archives. I’m still finding my way through the “state of calamity” President Duterte declared. Having to show my papers to the authorities in order to buy some food, take-out only, while wearing a mandatory face mask. It got even worse when they changed the curfew to begin at 6 pm. Lucky for me, I found a couple of speakeasies where I could still be served some beers. Reading these posts now, I realize I never fully recovered from the scamdemic restrictions. That’s why I’m still going home so damn early at night.

Let’s do something a little humorous for today’s YouTube video: the quiz Forrest Gump had to pass to get into heaven.

And since we are on a humorous roll, let’s keep it going with these:

And with that, we are done here for today.

Yesterday’s rain provided the excuse to avoid hiking. Yeah, rain makes me lazy somehow. Fortunately, the rain stopped in time to not interrupt my evening bar visits. We hit It Doesn’t Matter, Nipsey’s, then finished at Queen Victoria. So, I didn’t achieve my daily step goal, but I did manage to imbibe my beer quota. I’ll call that a win.

From my perch at IDM, I watched my hero walk by:

Seriously, this guy doesn’t let his handicap stop him from getting out and about. I really admire that. If the situation were reversed, I’d likely become a couch potato.

We were the only customers at Nipsey’s Bar. The music was crap, but at least it was played at a tolerable volume. During my previous visit, they changed the playlist to old man music without me even having to ask. Oh, and they didn’t have wine for Swan. One beer and out for us.

We had a very pleasant visit at Queen Victoria. Manager Jake sat with us for a while, and we had an interesting chat. One of the topics was about the recent meeting with Barangay officials that he attended. Things aren’t going well in Barretto, and the lack of tourists is having a detrimental impact on local businesses. One of the issues discussed that is hurting tourism here is the dirty beaches. Whether they will implement a fix to keep them clean remains to be seen. But from what I’ve seen being dumped into the rivers upstream, policing the beaches won’t resolve the issue.

So, the “big” news is that it appears Myleen’s Cafe has closed. That’s sad, because it was one of our favorites. And after John’s place went out of business, it was the only place left in town for Swan to get her birria taco fix. Jake told us he wasn’t surprised and that many bars and businesses are barely holding on these days. Damn, will Barretto die before I do?

The other day, I posted about the top retirement destinations, with the Philippines allegedly ranked number one. Today I came across this cost comparison, and the Philippines didn’t even make the list. Go figure.

Facebook memories took me back to a time when my life had some meaning and added value:

From the March 2020 LTG archives, the COVID shit has hit the fan. They called it “enhanced community quarantine,” by which they meant an insanely stupid lockdown. I wrote about some of the ignorance in a post called “Arrested Development.” I shared some of the impacts in “Insanity Prevails,” but at least I was able to find a couple of businesses not abiding by the rules. And then in “An aching donkey kind of day,” I share the nightmare of grocery shopping under lockdown rules. Not so fun times, but I’m proud to say I was calling bullshit from the beginning, and noting how the quarantine-mandated business closures were hurting the people who could least afford it. Almost everyone knows now that the lockdown caused more harm than good.

I feel stupid for sharing today’s YouTube video. Why? Because it felt like looking in the mirror.

Time out for your daily dose of humor:

Welp, on that note, we’ll call this post over and done with. I’ll be back with more tomorrow, the good Lord willing.

Wednesday is done except for the part where I tell you about it.

Nope, that would be wrong. It was just Swan and me again for the Wednesday walk. She asked if I brought an umbrella, and I defiantly replied that I won’t need one. And then the downpour started. I put my phone in a Ziplock baggie and trudged on. The rain confined us to the pavement, so we just did a loop around the Santa Monica subdivision, then retreated back home.

By beer o’clock, the rain had relented, and we journeyed into town, making Red Bar our first stop. As fate would have it, we stayed there for the duration of the evening rather than our usual one or two additional bar stops. The fact that it started to rain again contributed to that decision. I was craving a Foodies quesadilla, so we ordered for delivery. Worked out just fine.

So, that’s where things started and ended. A trike ride home and a better night’s sleep. Life is good.

March 2020 in the LTG archives, and the COVID nightmare is beginning to take root. President Duterte locked down Manila and restricted travel to the Philippines from any country with confirmed cases of the virus. That meant if I left the country for a planned visit to Thailand, I wouldn’t be allowed back. I also learned from Dave Fischer that a thus-far unreported case of COVID had occurred in Barretto. I was still in “believe the experts” mode, but that didn’t last long.

For today’s YouTube video, I took a visual journey back to those other 70s that I much prefer to my current ones. Ah, what a great time that was to be alive. Unless you got drafted and sent to Vietnam.

Maybe I was funnier back then, too, but here goes:

Didn’t get to do a walk today because of the rain. Yeah, I know, excuses, excuses. We’ll see what happens next.

Another day, another blog post. Hey, it’s what I do. One of my favorite parts of blogging is the interaction with those readers who leave comments. As several of you have mentioned, losing the insights and wisdom of Kevin Kim here has been a real blow. He is definitely missed. On the other end of the spectrum, there have been some nasty and accusatory personal attacks made lately without foundation. It’s sad, really, that people have nothing better to do with their time. I’ve recently adopted a stricter approach to approving comments. If it is not relevant to something I’ve posted, it gets trashed. Still, sometimes I’ll make an exception. Like this comment on yesterday’s post:

Werd up, foo’ – I wrote you a song!

[Intro] Yo, yo, Pinkbits in the booth, Philippines heat, Droppin’ bars on a bloated Yank who can’t stay on his feet. John McCrarey, big boy, think you hot shit? Nah, this for the trashbag nobody wanna sit wit’.

[Hook] Fat Yank John, pissin’ in his pants, Ozempic belly still dancin’ in a trance. God’s gift to women? Boy, you a curse, Even your kids say “Dad, please leave the Earth.” Hideaway girls laughin’, Davina said “ew,” Swan gettin’ blackout drunk just to deal wit’ you!

[Verse 1] Yo, land of the brave, home of the Whopper-fed, John McCrarey waddlin’ through Baretto, eyes blood red. Think you a player? Bro you movin’ like a slug, Sweaty gut hangin’, smell like old fast food and drugs. Racist rants at the bar, spittin’ garbage talk, While your own blood look away, wishin’ you would walk. Gary said it best, “That dude a piece of shit,” Even the roaches in your room said “We quittin’ this.” Lazy as hell, couch stuck to your ass, Eatin’ garbage daily, triple patty with the mass. Ozempic shots poppin’ just to shrink the blob, Still leakin’ in your drawers, steamin’ like a slob.

[Hook] Fat Yank John, pissin’ in his pants, Ozempic belly still dancin’ in a trance. God’s gift to women? Boy, you a curse, Even your kids say “Dad, please leave the Earth.” Hideaway girls laughin’, Davina said “ew,” Swan gettin’ blackout drunk just to deal wit’ you!

[Verse 2] Creepin’ on Davina, swingin’ at the Hideaway crew, They all shot you down quicker than your weak-ass woo. “Imma big American,” yeah you big alright, Big mistake, big belly, big stench every night.

Philippines sun burnin’ on your pale-ass skin,
You still actin’ like the king, but everybody grinnin’.
Swan poppin’ bottles daily, tryna numb the pain,
“Can’t sober tolerate this alcoholic stain.”
Kids embarrassed, friends embarrassed, whole island know,
John McCrarey the joke that won’t let go.
Think you God’s gift? God said “Take him back,”
Wrapped you in lard and sent you down the wrong track.

[Bridge]
Piss pants philosopher, racist rap god,
Eatin’ trash so loud the whole barangay applaud.
Lazy, gross, delusional, walkin’ L,
Even the mirror said “Bro, go to hell.”

[Final Hook]
Fat Yank John, pissin’ in his pants,
Ozempic can’t save you from them dirty draws romance.
God’s gift to NOBODY, just a walkin’ mess,
DJ Pinkbits signin’ off — clean up your act, fat stress!

[Outro]
Yeah… McCrarey, go home.
Or at least change them drawers, bro.
Pinkbits out. Philippines laughin’ at you.

Beat drops. Mic drop.

Yeah, it’s not relevant or accurate, but someone (maybe with AI assistance) taking the time to write a song about me was still kinda sweet, even if it does seem a little disco-esque. So, I approved it with this response: “Angela, thank you for the love song, but I already have a girlfriend.”

While my comment approval standards might be low, they do exist. Want to have a peek at some of the comments I’ve recently trashed? Well, here you go then.

This was something Linda Saldon Beckerson tried to leave in the comments:

Hullo John,

Greetings from Nova Scotia!!!

I have some exciting news – I have almost finished another of my much lauded mother and son erotic tales!!!

Not to reveal too much, but in this exciting sex-capade, I follow my son, William George to the comfort room and listen from outside the door while he expels the proceeds of last night’s particularly pungent Chicken Vindaloo. The sounds of his explosive diarrhea and reverberating wet farts are more than this frazzled lady can bare, and lets just say I get a little randy!!

But I will post the final draft in your comments section when it is completed – Last thing a horny old gal needs is Kevin Kim correcting her grammar and spotting her errors whilst she is nibbling on William’s ear lobe.

Yep, even an old pervert like me found that disgusting. And how did Linda respond when I didn’t approve the comment:

You dirty cunt!!

Just admit you can’t handle a strong woman who can stand up for herself and knows what she wants sexually rather than just deleting my comments like a coward!!

You absolutely reek of insecurity and misogyny. No wonder you are relegated to pay women to talk to you and strut around like some hoity toity Lord of the Manor, giving out candy and ladies drinks to the poor yellow proles. “Please Gwapo, my handsome ATM….can I git some more?”

I see you, you dirty pig!!! You do not DARE delete another one of my erotic tales with my son, William George from your comments section, or you will find out very quickly what is what!!!

Kindest regards,

Linda

Oh, well. Of course, the champion asshole of late is the cowardly Todd, but when challenged, he crawled back into his rathole. And life goes on. Coincidentally, I came across this post of mine from 2022, where I had a positive interaction with a commenter. So, you just take the good with the bad and move on.

In other news, can anyone guess which country has been rated the best retirement destination in 2026?

Well, I have some questions myself. A top 20 list that only includes 16 makes me wonder about the accuracy of the data. And how the hell can South Africa make the list at #5? Last I heard, white folk weren’t faring too well there. What happened to Vietnam and Cambodia? Anyway, you can scroll down and watch today’s YouTube video, which at least explains the criterion used to establish these rankings.

As for yesterday, just an uneventful shopping excursion, an increased dose of Ozempic from Dr Jo, a neighborhood walk, beers at Sloppy Joe’s and Wet Spot, then another restless night, which may or may not have been related to that high-dose injection. At least I lived to tell about it.

It has been a few months since I last did the Alta Vista stroll. I was surprised to see how many new houses are currently under construction. It’s a friggin’ boom town. Here are a few pictures from the excursion:

Heading into town, I encountered another funeral banner:

Moving on to March 2020 in the LTG archives. As I’ve settled into those daily routines that to this day are still filling my hours, it is getting more difficult to identify posts interesting enough to be included in “The Story of My Life.” But at least this one addresses the sameness of everyday life, and also mentions my concern that the Philippines had not released any updated information regarding the pending scamdemic. Yeah, I was taking it all as something real in the early days. And things were about to go south very soon.

And now for that YouTube video I mentioned above. The Philippines wins because of the relatively low cost of living and the widespread English-speaking. Many of the expats living here go to Thailand for serious medical conditions, overcoming the major negative in the ratings. I still don’t understand South Africa being ranked higher than Vietnam.

Let me leave you with these tidbits:

Okay, I’ve had enough of this nonsense. How about you?