From the Land of the Morning Calm

Here’s a quick update on my journey thus far.

Flew business class on Asiana which as usual was comfortable and well-serviced. Enjoyed a bowl of rice porridge and slept most of the trip. We arrived at Incheon right on schedule at 0700.

Since I was upfront, I was first off the plane and first in line at immigration. Sailed through there and headed down to baggage claim. I knew I’d have a wait, so I found a seat in the lavatory and enjoyed my first Korean bidet experience in over a year. After taking care of business I came out just as my bag was arriving on the carousel. Grabbed it and made my way to the airport railroad (AREX).

The express train didn’t leave until 8:10 arriving at Seoul Station forty minutes later. The “all-stops” train left at 7:40 and got me there sooner so I didn’t wait. Maybe should have as the train got crowded and a little uncomfortable. But I enjoyed the scenery along the way anyway. After being gone a little more than a year I was especially impressed with the infrastructure and just the way things “work” here. Pretty much the opposite of how things are in the Philippines.

Once I arrived at Seoul Station I made my way outside to the taxi stand and then decided to just walk to my hotel in Itaewon. It wasn’t even 9:00 a.m. yet and I doubted I’d be able to check-in so early. Walking wasn’t bad except for the dragging my wheeled suitcase behind me like a homeless person. Arm got tired after awhile but I switched out and carried on. The weather here is pleasantly cool and feels downright chilly compared to the hot sticky mess I had just left behind back home.

As I suspected the folks at the Crown hotel informed me that check-in wasn’t until 3:00 p.m. I asked (pleaded really) if I couldn’t get in earlier. The guy told me I could get the room at 1:00 and he wouldn’t charge me extra. I thanked him and checked my bags. Then I headed out to explore the mean streets of Itaewon.

I’m not sure if it’s the town that’s changed or if it is just me but it looked and felt different somehow. Some of the old familiar places were gone and others had moved to new locations. Lots of new shops and business too. It’s definitely an area in transition. Not real surprising given that almost all of the American military forces have moved south now. Still, plenty of foreigners out and about of course, just a different crowd.

And it wasn’t long before I started wrestling with the demons from the past again. I was a little surprised by how powerful those old memories were and how sad they made me. It was a good reminder that my life here has ended and I really am better off in the Philippines. How bad was I haunted? Almost to the point of contacting Asiana to see if I could change to an earlier departure date. Almost.

Anyway, I walked and walked. My former housekeeper Josie messaged me that she was at McDonlds so I met her there and we had a nice chat. Then I moved back out to the street and walked some more. Around 11:00 I was feeling hungry so I started looking for somewhere to eat. Linus’ BBQ wasn’t open yet and Manimals was closed too (permanently perhaps? The sign was somewhat ambiguous). Anyway, I decided to go for Mexican at On the Border.

The food was good compared to the Mexican I’ve found in Barretto. But I experienced my first bout of sticker shock. That plate and a Coke was about 20,000 Won. I’d have paid less than half that for a similar meal back home.

After lunch I was able to check into my room and took a short nap. Then I did a nice walk along the Han riverside that looked like this:

The old familiar places.

Back to the room for a shower then I headed out for some nighttime activities at my favorite hangout–Shenanigans.

Enjoyed the taste of home with some San Miguel Lights. Chatted with the owner a bit and later my nephew Justin came by.

It was sweet when my favorite flower ajumma came in and saw me. She was so surprised and kind–gave me a big hug and told me how happy she was to see me again. I of course bought a bouquet flowers–just like old times.

I pay about $1.50 a beer in the PI. Here there were over $6.00. Ah well, I’m on vacation, but geez. Justin and I popped into Scrooge Pub which was pretty empty. The owner (a nice Korean woman I’m rather fond of) was not happy with her decision to get into the bar business, especially now that almost all her customer base is in Pyeongtaek. She wants to sell, but good luck finding a buyer. I told her we could open a bar together in Barretto but she didn’t seem interested in that idea at all. Ah well.

I was drunk and it was time to go home. A quick stop for a sundae at Dairy Queen and Justin and I said our goodnights. And so ended my first day back home in the Land of the Morning Calm.

It was a day with a lot of walking!

What’s going on?

Glad you asked!

Preparing for my departure to Seoul at 0200 tomorrow. Pulled out the passport and noticed that the immigration folks had stamped this under my last visa sticker:

REMINDER: Secure Emigration Clearance Certificate Before You Leave The Country.

Hmm. Well surely I can get that down at the airport, right? Being the prudent guy that I am I had my driver take me to the immigration office in Olongapo City to get the lowdown. Hoo Boy. I was given a list of things I needed to bring and a long ass form to complete. And oh yeah, the first thing on the list said I needed to apply for the ECC one week prior to departure and that processing the application required 72 hours. Shit!

I told the immigration officer I was scheduled to fly on Thursday and asked if there was anything I could do to expedite the process. She said if I bring the required paperwork back that day I could pick up the ECC on Wednesday. Thank you, m’am!

The first thing I needed was three 2×2 photos of my handsome face against a white background. Luckily my driver knew where to go to get that done and we were off. I flirted a little with the gal in the hole-in-the-wall shop to no avail. But in the end she did give me what I came for:

See, I wasn’t being facetious about the handsome part.

The second thing on the list was a copy of my flight information. I needed to go back to the house for that though. So next I had the driver take me to the grocery store so I could pick up some supplies for the orphanage I sponsor. I got some stuff for my house as well but kept them separate in another cart (I had my domestic helpers to assist). After paying for the orphan stuff, the clerk rang up mine. I handed her my credit card and she said “sorry, only one transaction per card.” I was incredulous but couldn’t get an explanation beyond it being store policy. So I just kind of stood there in a Mexican standoff sort of way to see what would happen next (I had my debit card with me but preferred not to use it). The clerk finally relented and processed my card with a don’t do it again admonishment. Noted.

Back to the house and I asked my driver to return at 1:00 p.m. to take me back to immigration. I finally got my printer to agree to print my itinerary and I then completed the ECC form. Having everything required now in hand I made my triumphant journey back to immigration and handed over the paperwork.

Turns out you are not allowed to wear eyeglasses in the ECC photos. Who knew?

So back I went to the photo shop where I found the young gal running the place fast asleep at her work station. I guess I could have taken a nap too and told the world we slept together, but there was no time for that now. She awoke and took a new photo sans glasses and I was off.

This one worked!

So next thing I knew I was being fingerprinted and then I was relieved of 500 pesos and told to return this afternoon to pick up my ECC. Fingers crossed!

After completing my immigration ordeal it was off to the mall. I had told the orphanage director that I would host a monthly dinner for the kids and also celebrate any birthdays that happened during that month. There were two birthdays in May so I needed to get the requested presents. And the cake.

I had my helper order the cake, not sure a champagne bottle is appropriate for kids but…

Anyway, I delivered the goodies to the orphanage, made my usual donation, paid for dinner, and left. Honestly, I’m really not comfortable with this commitment. I feel like the time and money could be better spent somehow. In fact, one of my helpers thinks the place is a scam and the kids aren’t really in need. I don’t know about that, but I do see more desperate folks everyday. But for now at least I’ll keep on keeping on and see where it goes. The Director’s assistant is a real cutie, so there’s that.

What else? Spent a little time in Alley Cats last night and they gave me a little farewell party. That was sweet.

They even put a sign on the wall in my honor!

Here’s to hoping I don’t encounter any surprises at immigration this afternoon. I’m flying Asiana business class so I should be comfortable and even catch a flew zzz’s before waking up in Seoul tomorrow.

See you on the other side!

Living in the moment


Here dead we lie
Because we did not choose
To live and shame the land
From which we sprung.

Life, to be sure,
Is nothing much to lose,
But young men think it is,
And we were young.
–Alfred Edward Housman 

And at the moment it is Memorial Day, a day on which a grateful nation gives thanks to those who lost their lives in defending our freedom.

The Korean War memorial in Washington, DC.

I always take a moment to pause and remember my great uncle Frank as well.

Frank remained in Europe after the war.

Other than that, there is not much to differentiate today from any other day in my life. Same with yesterday and probably tomorrow. I’m not complaining mind you. I’m doing what I want when I want and I reckon when I don’t want to do that anymore, I’ll figure out something else to do. Isn’t that what retirement is supposed to be all about? Sure, there’s more to life than walking and drinking. And I’ve done a lot of those things. Walking gives me peace of mind and drinking takes the edge off my brain’s tendency to overthink things. So it’s all good.

Speaking of walking, this was a wet one as I encountered an afternoon thundershower. I had gone back out to the valley for further exploration. And I actually found a nice circular route that could have the makings of a nice Hash trail. But maybe not for rainy season. After just a short storm I was having to avoid large puddles of water which leads me to think the path might be underwater after a sustained period of heavy rain. We’ll see.

Last night I dined at a small Korean restaurant here in Barretto. I’ve walked past it numerous times and never saw any customers which made me a little leery of the place. But I recently read a couple of positive online reviews so decided to give it a try. Of course, I had the place to myself.

That’s the bulgogi dish which was was tasty enough. I also had an order of samgyeopsal. I prefer my pork belly thicker and grilled at the table, but it wasn’t bad either. Only a couple of side dishes were included, but I found the kimchi to be quite delicious. It was also good to get some chopstick practice in as I leave for Korea on Thursday morning.

What else? Well, this gave me a chuckle:

If you offered AOC a penny for her thoughts she’d probably give you change.

Oh, and any grammatical errors here at LTG may be an indication that all those beers are taking a toll.

Or maybe not.

Anyway, life is what it is and for me it is mostly good. One day at a time, just taking it one day at a time.


If this life is one act
Why do we lay all these traps
We put them right in our path
When we just wanna be free
I will not waste my days
Making up all kinds of ways
To worry about all the things
That will not happen to me
So I just let go of what I know I don’t know
And I know I only do this by


Living in the moment
Living my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
Peace in my soul
Wherever I’m going, I’m already home
Living in the moment

Just another day in paradise

Life continues apace. And a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Like walking.

A long one. And I wasn’t trying to be a dick about it. It just turned out that way.

And eating.

Now for the record, I do eat things besides BLT sandwiches. But I couldn’t resist trying this one from Foodies (a takeout place on the first floor of Cheap Charlies) because it was served on a baguette. I also appreciated that it came with mayonnaise on the side. Different not being on toast, but quite tasty.

Then there was breakfast.

This is at Mango’s. Scrambled eggs with ham and tomato. Right after I took the photo I thought I’d sprinkle on a little salt. Then the top came off the shaker dousing my eggs under a blanket of salt granules. Pretty much rendered it inedible.

And that’s about the worst thing that’s happened today. So far at least. I’ll take it and be glad.


Oh think twice, cause it’s another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it’s just another day for you
You and me in paradise

Just think about it

Down in the valley

The valley so low. Both physically and metaphorically.

This morning I explored a valley I’ve skirted the edges of several times. It’s mostly rice paddies with a few scattered shacks here and there. It might be something I can incorporate into a future Hash trail, especially if I need something flatter for rainy season. We’ll see.

The view as I entered the valley from the San Isidro side…
And you might recognize “Easter” mountain on the far side of the valley.
I’m not sure what this stuff was, but it gave off a strong “Children of the Corn” vibe as I hurried through…
And finally, looking back from whence I came.
Not a bad morning’s work.

I’ve been in a funk these past couple of days. In fact, today is the first day I’ve made it out for a hike since Monday. That is not at all in keeping with my walkaholic nature. The lack of energy and motivation and the difficulty I’m experiencing sleeping are reminiscent of the symptoms I’ve had in past bouts with depression. I’m hoping I can pull myself out of myself before I fall deeper into that black pit. Overcoming my inclination to blow off walking again this morning was a good first step (well, more like 12,000 steps) in moving onward and upward.

This too shall pass and all that jazz.


Down in the valley valley so low
Hang your head over hear the wind blow
Hear the wind blow dear hear the wind blow
Hang your head over hear the wind blow

I didn’t realize this song was written by Pete Seeger. Learn something new everyday!

One lifetime, many lives–Chapter Four: So many women, so little time

The story continues. Prologue. Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three.

One of my lives within this lifetime is the one I’ve spent as a manwhore. I don’t know what got into me, but I know what I got into. If you get my meaning. Anyway, once a whore always a whore I suppose. But the heydays of that life were from the 1980’s through the early 2000’s.

Now, back in high school I had two girlfriends at the same time. In my defense, the first one moved to San Diego two hours away. So it only seemed natural that I’d have someone local to love, right? That lasted until they both showed up in the same place at the same time. After that I had zero girlfriends.

Not too long afterwards I got the girl I was dating pregnant and married her. I was faithful to her until she wasn’t. Which led me to meeting KaraLynne, the love of my life. I told that story here. Suffice to say she wound up breaking my heart. I guess as much as anything that set me on the road to whoredom, although that was never really my intended destination. Or so I choose to believe.

So, this would have been around 1983 I suppose and I looked like this:

Oh, wait a minute. That’s not me.
That’s me. I understand that some people thought Tom Selleck looked like me. Go figure.

Anyway, I was single again and looking for love. Usually in the wrong places. Heh, some things never change. I was a mailman and um, I “dated”, several gals I met on my mail route (but never during working hours! Okay, maybe once during working hours). I had a pretty passionate fling with my barber Peggy. And then I met Linda who was destined to be my soulmate, but not my life mate. Shortly thereafter I packed it in and left Arizona for a new life in Oklahoma and Arkansas (I was right on the border, working in Fort Smith, AR and living in Monroe, OK).

Wow! My first exposure to Southern women. And what can I say about them except they know what they want and they ain’t shy about asking for it. It was a totally new experience being the pursued and not the pursuer. My first weekend there I went to a country bar (I’m not sure there were any other kinds). I’m sitting there watching the action and a young woman walks up and says in a sweet Southern twang “are you just gonna sit there or did you come to dance?” So we danced in the bar and later on we were dancing horizontally.

And that’s pretty much the way it worked all the time. I met and deflowered my last virgin there. Dated a 37 year old and a 23 year old simultaneously (I was now 30) and interspersed them with gals I met on the mail route and in the bars. Wild times for sure. But the method to my madness was the thought that I might have to date a hundred women before I met another KaraLynne. Of course, that was a fools mission and in the end all I got was fucked. Ahem.

Eventually I married again so my kids would have someone to mother them. We moved to South Carolina and my career took off. I started traveling quite a bit and would occasionally dabble with women I’d meet on the road. Hotel bars can be such lonely places don’t you know. But I wasn’t very smart about it and got caught a couple of times which didn’t help the marriage. Once I got busted because I made the mistake of meeting up with a woman at her house. Her ex was a cop and he drove by, saw my car, and ran the plates. Then he called my wife. And my wife called my boss. It was a mess of my own making, that’s for sure.

After I had moved on to Wife #3 I had an affair with a co-worker. She was a big Chicago Bulls fan and since I had a ton of frequent flyer miles I booked a surprise trip to Chicago to see them play. We had a layover in Pittsburgh and our flight was delayed. The woman in the USAirways club helped us re-book so we wouldn’t miss the game. We made it and in appreciation I bought the agent a souvenir from the game which I presented to her on our return trip through Pittsburgh. She was so pleased that she called my wife in Virginia and thanked her for the kindness her and I had shown in getting her the gift (you see, she thought the woman I was with was my wife). I just never had much luck at cheating I suppose.

Maybe I learned my lessons, because I never cheated on Wife #4.

For all the good it did me.

After Jee Yeun destroyed me I’ve pretty much just been floundering. When it comes to relationships, I’ve got the Midas touch in reverse–they all turn to shit. Ironically, I live in a town chock full of whore bars but I have no interest in whoring these days. Maybe it’s old age or maybe I’ve just had enough. I would enjoy being in a stable, loving relationship with my one and only, but I’m not sure I have the balls to risk it. I’ve got a lifetime of bad Karma to pay for.


Now I think I’m going down to the well tonight
And I’m going to drink till I get my fill
And I hope when I get old I don’t sit around thinking about it
But I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
A little of the glory of, well time slips away
And leaves you with nothing mister but
Boring stories of

Glory days well they’ll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl’s eye
Glory days, glory days

Success!

It started raining yesterday about two hours prior to the start of the Hash. I was worried about how well the powder I had laid on trail would hold up but there was nothing to be done about it and after about 45 minutes the skies cleared.

As the Hare I didn’t actually walk the trail with the Hashers (other than the first kilometer as I made my way home to man the beer check). But I got good feedback that the trail was well-marked and easy to follow. That was one of my main goals. Several others came to me to compliment the trail and to say they enjoyed the hike. The only real complaint I heard was about the long trail portion I added being boring. Yeah, that’s legitimate. All flat and on roads through subdivisions for the most part. The runners wanted distance and I gave it to them. Too bad if it was not challenging enough. Oh, and I did have a couple of people say the trail was harder than they expected it to be. I’m not sure how to take that, maybe they think I’m a wimp?

Bottom line, no one got lost and no one got hurt. I’ll take that any day! One of the Hashers posted photos from the hike on the SBH3 Facebook page. Let me share some of them here:

A nice map of my trail. The green line indicating the Long Trail addition.
The Hashers stand in rapt attention and awe of the amazing Hare as he provides last minute guidance on the day’s trail.
And we are “on-on”!
Making our way through Alta Vista shortly before I left the Hashers to their own devices.
“Have a nice hike!”
It was a humid afternoon but at least the rain had stopped.
Everyone loves a well-marked trail. At least I do.
A quick meet and greet with the younguns…
That’s Leech My Nuggets, one of the runners who prefers taking it LONG and HARD. The trail I mean. He’s one that didn’t like the boring long addition to my trail, although he said he did enjoy the rest of it.

Speaking of the runners, I was really quite impressed. The Hash started at 3:30. I got back to my place to man the beer check at 4:00. I estimated I might see the first runner come by at 4:45, but I was wrong about that. A female (don’t know her name) came trotting by at 4:30 and didn’t break stride for a cold drink. Her partner was a couple of minutes behind her. So that’s 8K + on terrain that including two climbs and a fairly steep downhill in one hour. Good job!

Hashers doing what Hashers do.
Coming back into Alta Vista for the final trek to the beer check and on-home at Treasure Island.
Liquid refreshment at the beer check. Actually, the water and Gatorade I provided was just as popular as the beer.
Welcoming the stragglers.
And finally, the last of the Hashers on trail arrive.
And my day as the Hare was complete after the Hash circle.

Not bad for a rookie, eh?

Ready to roll

Just a quick update:

I went ahead and marked the long trail yesterday afternoon. Made for a 29,000+ step day, but I got it done.

It DID NOT rain last night or this morning. Although as I write this I can see some worrisome clouds building up. Ah well, out of my hands and nothing to be done about it anyway. The chalk markings will hold up even if the powder doesn’t I suppose.

This morning I went out and walked the short trail again. I really didn’t want to but I reasoned that I needed to get some steps in anyway so might as well. I carried more powder and re-emphasized some more trail markings where appropriate. Actually the trail was looking pretty good so my efforts this morning were not really necessary. Well, at least I have some peace of mind about it now.

Let’s hope it doesn’t rain!

A view from the trail #1349 of the SBH#. (I inadvertently had my camera in zoom mode. Sorry about that.)
What’s up with that?

Buddy doesn’t always sleep sprawled out on his back, but he does it pretty damn frequently. It seems strange to me but apparently it is not that uncommon.


If your dog is sleeping with all his limbs sticking up in the air (resembling a dead bug) he is submissive and vulnerable. Not all dogs sleep like this, but if yours does he is a laid back independent pup that feels secure in his surroundings.

Who knew?

Oh, I don’t think I mentioned that the Hare is not expected to do the trail with the other Hashers. So I will not be walking it yet again this afternoon. My plan is to tend to the beer check at my house and then move on down to the Hash “on-home” at Treasure Island afterwards. Should be a good day.

Now for a nap!

UPDATE: I see that I used the “ready to roll” title back in November 2015. I was flying out of Seoul for some vacay time in the USA. That was a lifetime ago.

A Hare-y experience

Tomorrow I make my debut as the sole Hare responsible for setting this week’s trail with the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers (SBH3). It’s a huge responsibility and an even bigger pain in the ass. Here’s how my day of preparation has gone down (so far).

Up even earlier than normal so I could get on with the business of marking the trail while beating the worst of the heat. I arrived at Johansson’s (our starting point) at 0630 and got to work.

The SBH3 has our own storage room deep in the bowels of Johansson’s.
Tools of the Hare trade include jugs to hold the powder we use to mark the trail…
.…and chalk to further point out direction to the Hashers. I personally detest a poorly marked trail so one of my goals was to give clear indications of which way to go.
First order of business was I needed to fill those jugs up with powder. Bastards were pretty damn heavy too. I carried one and put the other in my backpack. I tried not to be stingy with my powder use but I was also keenly aware that I had 6+ kilometers of trail to mark. Turns out I needed every drop of powder I brought.

Now, obviously I’m not an experienced Hare but I had a decision to make. Some Hares prefer to mark the trail the day prior to the Hash. Others do it the morning of. The downside to the day before is that the powder can fade or even worse, wash away should there be rain overnight. Doing it the day of the Hash is a risk because it could be raining that morning or something else could go wrong causing a major fuck up. Anyway, I opted for today. Checking the weather forecast I see there is a possibility of isolated thunderstorms tomorrow. Hopefully all my hard work doesn’t go down the drain before we Hash. Nothing to be done about it I suppose. Well, if it rains this afternoon or tonight, I could go out in the morning and re-mark the trail. I’d rather not of course.

With powder and chalk in hand I commenced to walking the trail I had been piecing together these past few weeks.

And leaving appropriate signs along the way. This is in the Alta Vista subdivision. I’m doing the 1,349th SBH3 trail, hence the “49”.
Time to get off the street and into the dirt. As Dorothy might have sang “follow the chalk and white powder”…
Out in the countryside I’m marking trees instead of telephone poles…
The powder is there to ensure a clear indication of where to turn at intersections is provided. Looking at this photo perhaps I should have laid it on thicker. PLEASE don’t rain on my parade!

So, as I may have previously mentioned, my trail has two medium length uphills and the climbs are not very steep. One significant downhill and then a relatively easy meandering path covering much of “My Bitch”. It does require walking through the yards of a couple squatter shanties. I always feel bad about creating a disturbance, dogs barking and the like. And knowing I’d be leading 30+ Hashers through their enclave is going to make a lousy day for them I suspect. Anyway, to assuage my guilt make up for their inconvenience I handed out tins of cookies as I passed through today. That seemed to be appreciated.

The trail continues on back into Alta Vista on our way “on-home” at Treasure Island in Baloy Beach. And since we are passing by my house I’ve incorporated a beer check into the hike. A stop off to refresh yourself and replace vital bodily liquids prior to hiking that last kilometer to T.I.

Maybe the highlight of the trek?
Two cases of beer and another ice chest with water and soft drinks for those so inclined.
I didn’t get to prepare the meal I was planning when last week’s on-home wasn’t at my home. But by gawd I’ve got some snacks for any hungry Hashers passing by…
With thirsts quenched it’s just a short hike from my place out to T.I.
I’m not up on all the Hash trail marking symbols, but I do know this one. Anyone care to hazard a guess as to what it means?

So the short trail is marked and ready. I still need to walk and mark the long trail (another 5K). I may go ahead and do that this afternoon so I can deal with any contingencies that may arise in the morning.

Being a Hare is dirty work and I’ve got the shoes to prove it!

And oh yeah, because of my need to get out and get busy early this morning, Buddy and Lucky had to forego their walk.

Come on guys! No need to pout about it. We’ll go walking again tomorrow. I promise!


Follow the yellow brick road
Follow the yellow brick road
Follow, follow, follow, follow
Follow the yellow brick road

Follow the rainbow over the stream
Follow the fellow who follows a dream
Follow, follow, follow, follow
Follow the yellow brick road

Neighborly love

Yesterday I decided to walk the dogs past the house where they were recently attacked. There are only two or three routes I can take here in the neighborhood and I like to mix them up. Plus, it’s a matter of principle. I’m not going to let some irresponsible dog owner deprive me of the right to walk down a public street. And I came prepared with my walking stick fully intending to inflict whatever pain and suffering necessary to repel a crazy animal.

As I passed the house the dog was in the yard and as usual barking furiously. The street is a dead end and on my return past the house the owner was waiting outside for me. She said “do me a favor” and not walk past her house. She said I never know when you are going to pass by and my dog was out earlier. She told me “I don’t want anyone to get hurt”. As politely as I could muster I responded “Let me get this straight. You are telling me not to walk my dog on a public street so that you can let your dog run free?” She repeated “I don’t want anyone to get hurt”. And then said “Please!”. I shrugged and walked on.

Just around the corner one of the subdivision security guards pulls up on his scooter. He tells me he got a call from Mrs. So and So about me walking past her house. I said so? It’s a public street isn’t it? The security guy went into some kind of explanation but I didn’t really understand his English that well. He said he would talk to the So and So bitch as well, but in the meantime I should avoid “her” street. Well, that’s bullshit of course. But it seems since I am a renter here the homeowners get preference in these matters. And oh yeah, the security guy lets his dogs run free too. Anyway, this is clearly one of those situations I can’t win. I’m the foreigner after all.

My boys chillin’ on the front porch.

I do love my dogs. And according to this article I can’t help myself. It’s in the DNA.

What else? Well, I played the worst darts I can remember yesterday in league. My own damn fault as I’ve not been practicing at all. Honestly, after this season I might just hang it up until I can rediscover my motivation to work on my game.

Oh, and here’s a couple more photos from Wednesday’s Sausage Walk.

This provides some context as to where we were in relation to Barretto. Definitely out in the boonies.
Veronica was wide open to having some fun. Or so it appears. She’s a cutie, that’s for sure.
This is what the countryside around Tibag looks like.
And that’s what I look like after being drenched in rain.

Stay tuned for the next installment from my so-called life…

Teabagging it…

A good time out in the countryside yesterday with the Sausage Walkers. I’ll tell the story through photographs if you don’t mind. Well, even if you do mind…

I hadn’t gone out with the Wednesday group for a few weeks. The Germans kind of took it over and did these intense marathon walks that I just didn’t enjoy. This time I was assured it would be a “fun” walk and since I knew other like-minded folks would be in attendance I signed up.

Here we are loading up in the Hashmobile. Of course, making room for the beer was first priority. The rest of us crowded in as best we could for the long (around 40 minutes) uncomfortable ride out to the countryside.
I’m thinking (hoping) this picture of our driver was posed. Regardless, we made it there and back again without incident.
Disembarking after our arrival at our destination.
And carrying our beer supplies down to our campsite on the creek.
Time to hit the trail!
The path led us up to the headwaters of the Matain River. It sure is a lot cleaner here than it is when it empties into Subic Bay…
Pausing for a bit of relaxation before resuming our hike.
I’m not sure what this shit was (and I hope it wasn’t shit) we encountered on the return trail. I made it about 3/4 of the way across before that piece of wood gave out and I found myself wading. Well, we had a couple of more clean stream crossings and I didn’t hesitate wading through them to get the “mud” off of my shoes…
The rarely seen Penis tree growing in the wild. They are hard to find. I understand they stiffen in the breeze. When fully mature they stand erect. The women folk tell me the wood is excellent. For cooking. Alright, that’s enough I suppose…
And yes, we were in fact passing through the Tibag community.
The walk was actually a little longer than this. I forgot to start my tracker…
Back at the campsite getting ready to eat. And drink.
“Where in the hell is my sausage?”
Oh, there it is. Never mind. Enjoy yourself.

Anyway, it was a good day. Well, shortly after we finished eating it started raining. We had no shelter and of course the back of the truck was open. So we just sat there drinking and getting soaked. After the first few minutes it seemed pretty natural. The deluge probably lasted 30 minutes and then moved on.

Oh, and the beermeister didn’t have any San Miguel Zero, so I wound up drinking the strong stuff. With predicable results. I don’t recall much about the trip home. But I did wake up in my bed this morning. So there’s that.

And so it goes.

The better part of valor

I knew yesterday’s Hash would be a tough one. It was hot and the notorious Leech My Nuggets was the Hare. So, when Leech announced that the medium trail was “only” 7 KMs I thought to myself “why not?” and hopped in the Hashmobile. Just before departure Leech looked in the truck (granted, not at me directly) and said “some of you ought not be doing this trail”. Who knew a masochist could be so kind? Well, when Leech My Nuggets admits his trail is a motherfucker (or more aptly, more of a motherfucker than normal) I ain’t one to argue. I hopped out of the truck and went with the group doing the shorter 4 KM trail. That turned out to be a good decision.

The trail for Hash Run #1348. The long version went straight up over the big mountain and back down into Olongapo City. And then back up again and down to Barretto. The short version I walked started in Olongapo thereby eliminating the climb I’ve done before that we all call “the motherfucker”.

Of course, the climb up from Olongapo was no easy walk in the park. If I had to name it, I’d call it the “Come to Jesus” trail. None of the veteran Hashers could recall ever having hiked that way previously. Indeed, in places it felt like we were blazing a brand new path.

The gals of the SBH3 at the drop off point in Olongapo City.
And then it’s “on-on”. That’s your humble correspondent making his way up what seemed to be an endless flight of stairs…
About a third of the way up was this church/shrine.
“Jesus can’t go Hashing ’cause he’s hanging on a cross…” is an actual Hash song lyric. Actually, one of the more tame lines in that particular song. Yeah, we are all gonna burn in hell…
I went up to pay my respects. “Jesus, will I have an easy trail today?” The response was “son, you haven’t got a prayer”.
So we continued on up. The stairs gave out about half way up and then the real climbing began. Fuck you Leech!
But we eventually made it to the top and were rewarded with this view of Olongapo City.
Kids are kids everywhere in the world I suppose. Although I suspect these kids must have thought we were crazy to be out climbing mountains for no reason.
On the trail making our way back down.
Our destination–Barrio Barretto in all her glory…

Made it back to the “on-home” at Hot Zone without incident. Over an hour and a half hiking to go 4 KMs says something about the terrain. As slow as I am going up, I’m even slower coming back down. Gravity is not my friend.

We did our usual Hash circle activities. The festivities were a little muted because it was election day and the Filipinas among us were not permitted by law to drink beer.

But the Gash (female Hashers) still looked good on ice…

And yes, I spent some time on the ice as well.

I was “honored” for completing my 50th Subic Hash with a soiled headband and the “Get a Life” song…
Where does the time go?

It was also announced that I would be next week’s Hare. I told the circle it was going to be “an old man’s trail”. The old men present seemed to appreciate that!

On-On!

Dog fight!

Had a bit too much excitement whilst walking Buddy and Lucky this morning. I always stay in the neighborhood with the dogs because there are too many aggressive strays on the streets outside. There are a couple of assholes in the subdivision that let their dogs out, but all they do is bark. Usually I just pick up a rock and they turn tail and run away.

So today I’m walking and I see a dog up ahead, just standing there staring at us. As I approach he continues to stand motionless, no barking, just that stare. To be on the safe side, I cross to the street. But as I pass he comes charging in full attack mode. He was probably twice the size of Buddy. Buddy to his credit wasn’t taking any shit and got right back into it with the aggressor. I hollered and picked up a rock, yanked Buddy back on his leash, and chucked the rock at the fucker. He took off for home. Man, I was pissed.

I recognized the dog as the one who lives on the last house on this street. The dog has always been within the fenced yard and barks like crazy when I pass by. That’s natural and doesn’t bother me. Anyway, as I approached the house I saw the aggressor dog was in the yard but the gate was open. So I called out to the house and the female owner came out. I told her I had been attacked by her dog. She seemed surprised to hear that, but not for long. Because, you guessed it, that bastard attacked us again! She screamed and yelled at the dog to no avail. And the fight was much more brutal this time. Buddy and him are really going at it, I’m trying to pull Buddy back but of course that had no effect on the bully dog. The owner tried to come in between them, got tangled in the leash, and knocked to the ground. I started kicking her fucked up dog, he’d back off for a second then come back in. I must have kicked that bastard three times as hard as I could and he wouldn’t back off for long. After one kick, he did leave Buddy who was fighting back hard and then attacked poor little Lucky, who didn’t stand a chance. Some other people came out of the house and managed to chase the demon dog back into the yard.

Buddy had a couple of bite marks and Lucky was bleeding from one of his ears. The owner was on the ground in pain, apparently she had recently had back surgery. I almost felt sorry for her until she admitted she had intentionally let her dog out. “I didn’t expect anyone would be walking by” was her excuse. I told her I walk this way every other day and she had seen me do so. I asked her if her dog had his shots and she assured me that he did. The dog looks healthy and well-cared for so I tend to believe her. Both of mine have had rabies vaccinations so I trust they will be fine.

Hell of a way to start my morning though. Jesus.

So I walked over to Mango’s for breakfast on the bay.
And even though I had a BLT just yesterday, I ordered another so reader Kevin Kim could vicariously enjoy my sandwich. Actually, this was my third in a week–one at Sit-n-Bull, one at Treasure Island, and today at Mango’s. I’d rank Sit-n-Bull best, with TI a close second. Sorry Mango’s. Your grilled meats are still tops though.

This is political but I had to laugh:

The science is settled!

And to cleanse your palate, a non-political joke I like:


An 85-year old man is having his annual checkup. The Doctor asks him how he is feeling.


“I’ve got an eighteen-year old bride who’s pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”


The Doctor considers this for a moment, and then says, “Well, let me tell you a story. I know of a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezed the handle. BAM !
The beaver drops dead in front of him.


“That’s impossible!”, says the old man in disbelief, “Someone else must have shot that beaver.”


The Doctor says, “My point exactly.”

That joke is especially apropos here in the PI where December/April romances are not uncommon. And yes, I see guys older than me raising up newborns. Not how I intend to spend my golden years, that’s for sure. Luckily I’ve been shooting blanks since I was 50.

Alright, I’ll leave y’all with a song I hadn’t even thought of for decades. I think it’s the only song I know that features a dogfight. Enjoy!


In the nick of time, a hero arose
A funny-looking dog with a big black nose
He flew into the sky to seek revenge
But the Baron shot him down –
“Curses, foiled again!”

Now, Snoopy had sworn that he’d get that man
So he asked the Great Pumpkin for a new battle plan
He challenged the German to a real dogfight
While the Baron was laughing, he got him in his sight

That bloody Red Baron was in a fix
He’d tried everything, but he’d run out of tricks
Snoopy fired once, and he fired twice
And that bloody Red Baron went spinning out of sight

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more
The bloody Red Baron was rollin’ up the score
Eighty men died tryin’ to end that spree
Of the bloody Red Baron of Germany

The long run

Today I was feeling depressed motivated, so I took a longer than normal walk. I wanted to map out my trail for next week’s Hash and so I set about doing so. I hoofed it over to Johansson’s and turned on my tracker then walked the “short” trail, ending at the scheduled “on-home”, Treasure Island on Baloy Beach. That portion was 6.5 KM and took me right at two hours to complete (I’m slow on the uphills and descents).

While I was at Treasure Island I enjoyed a BLT sandwich and reflected on the fact that this is where I was staying one year ago while looking for my permanent lodging options

Now I needed to incorporate the longer trail into my map, so I turned off the tracker and walked Baloy Beach road back to the National highway. I turned the tracker back on at the junction where the short trail veers off to Alta Vista subdivision and proceeded to walk the 5 KM section that will hopefully give the runners the additional distance they crave. Anyway, the map came out looking like this:

That big loop to the left is the long trail portion. It rejoins the short trail at the checkered flag. The long trail doesn’t include the first 2 KMs of the short trail, so in total the long trail is 3KMs more than the short version. Basically 9 and 6 KMs. That’s good enough said the Hare.

I was a sweaty mess when I finished that hike! Speaking of motivation, this photo from 6 years ago appeared on my FB feed this morning:

A fat man on the mall in DC. Well, that was a heartbreak and 70 pounds ago. Man oh man, I didn’t have a clue what was coming…

Now that I’ve reached my weight loss goal (at or below 200 lbs) I will indulge myself when I so desire. Like last night. I was having a sandwich and I saw on the daily special menu “fresh baked pecan pie”. I’ll have some of that I told the waitress. And put a scoop of vanilla ice cream on it.

Sorry the picture quality is so poor, I guess my flash was turned off. Anyway, it tasted much better than it looks here.

And finally, it is Mother’s Day and I’m of course missing my mama. It’s been over eight years since she passed but time doesn’t diminish the memory.


A mother’s hug lasts long after she lets go.

And so it goes.


I used to hurry a lot I used to worry a lot
I used to stay out till the break of day
Oh, that didn’t get it
It was high time I quit it
I just couldn’t carry on that way
Oh, I did some damage, I know it’s true
Didn’t know I was so lonely, till I found you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI_rkZIuHzw

One year in

Today is the anniversary of my retirement and also my arrival in the Philippines.

I said goodbye to my Eighth Army family…
…and left my “palace” in Anjeong-ri.

Got on a plane that same day and started my new life here in the PI. Hopefully y’all have been following along with my “adventures” here at LTG.

Like anything else I suppose, you fall into your routines and rituals in retirement life. Finding ways to pass the hours, not necessarily in a meaningful way, but hopefully in a satisfying way. Reading the blog you might have concluded that pretty much all I do is walk and drink beer. Come to think of it, that is pretty much all I do.

I’m not complaining. Life isn’t perfect here but it’s comfortable at least. Probably my biggest disappointment has been not finding love, which I thought would be relatively easy once I made the move. In large part I know that failure is on me. As more than one reader has pointed out, I’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places. I think in a fucked up kind of way I’m purposely setting myself up for failure. I’m honestly not wanting to put myself out there in such a way that I can be hurt again. Maybe that makes me a coward. Or maybe that makes me smart. Either way, for now I’m probably going to continue playing it safe.

I’ve also had a learning curve when it comes to friendships, at least with Filipinas. Eva proved to be a tremendous disappointment, “ghosting” me for reasons I still don’t understand. Gem simply took the money and ran. Who says you can’t put a price tag on friendship? So my track record at being a good judge of character remains pretty close to 0%. Ah well, live and learn. I don’t make friends easily anyway. I’d say I’ve established some friendly acquaintances amongst the expat community here, and maybe that’s enough.

On a more positive note, I do feel I’ve made good progress on my “making a difference” goal. I have my charity work, primarily with the orphanage. And four Filipinos on my payroll. And then there’s these two guys:

They never stand still long enough for a good picture…

So yeah, on balance I’m happy with the move. It’s a long way from my USA home and family but that life just doesn’t work for me anymore. There are certainly frustrating aspects to living in the Philippines, but on the plus side I’m learning to be patient (deep breath, relax, accept the Filipino way). And even on the worst of days, this is the view from my living room window:

I could do worse. Much worse.

Let’s see what year two holds in store, shall we?


This is the day of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers, wild gamblers
That’s all in the past

You call me a fool
You say it’s a crazy scheme
This one’s for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I’ll make it this time
I’m ready to cross that fine line

UPDATE: Well damn, I used the “one year in” title for a post in January 2006. In that case I was talking about completing my first year in Korea. It was kind of interesting (to me) comparing my perspectives from then and now. What a ride it has truly been!

Yesterday’s gone

Ah, Facebook reminded me today that one year ago I was saying my final goodbyes in Korea.

It was good while it lasted!

I honestly haven’t missed my working life much, but the people, yeah that’s what mattered. I’m looking forward to reconnecting with the old team in three weeks.

Meanwhile, my Philippines life continues on in the usual manner.

A long and satisfying walk this morning.
And beers and sunsets at Cheap Charlies yesterday…

Oh, yesterday I also finalized my upcoming trail that I Hare on the 20th. It’s just a bit over 6 KM and that’s about right I think. I thought it was a pretty nice hike, two moderate uphills and a semi-steep descent. Everything in between was pretty easy and rather scenic. I’ve got an additional 3 KM I’ll incorporate for the runners, but that’s all streets. Fuck ’em.

And oh yeah, I won’t be hosting the “on-home” on the 13th. I offered but the powers that be decided to keep it at the Grandmaster’s bar (Hot Zone). The downside is our Filipina Hashers won’t be permitted to drink alcohol because it’s election day. Oh well. I’ll invite them over to my place for some beer when the Hash is done.

Now it’s time for me to head out for dart league.


I loved you all the summer through
I thought I’d found my dream in you
For me you were the one
But that was yesterday and yesterday’s gone
We walked together hand in hand
‘cross miles and miles of golden sand
But now it’s over and done
’cause that was yesterday and yesterday’s gone

In my hometown


“We’re the only club event in the world where someone was rushed to the hospital because they forgot to take their drugs.”

So, I saw this article about old folks in the UK getting together on a weekly basis to get down and get wild and it gave me a chuckle. Elderly folks need to party too, don’t ya know?

The other day I had been sitting at Cheap Charlies and musing on life as I sipped beers and watched the world pass by below me. At least the portion of the world within my field of vision. Which is of course the world in which I reside. Anyway, it occurred to me that Barrio Barretto is really just a down and dirty retirement community for oldsters who just aren’t ready to settle down to a quiet and staid lifestyle. And man oh man, I see some expats here who are barely ambulatory but are still out there plying the streets with the help of walkers and canes. Got to respect them for that!

Ha! I’m reporting on this phenomenon as an observer, but of course I’m also a participant. Pretty much everyone who lives here full time is a pensioner of one type or another. The exceptions might be a business owner (most of the bars are foreign owned) and some people work via the Internet. And I’ve met a couple of folks who are just outright wealthy and could live anywhere in the world. It’s telling (about them or here I’m not sure) that they’ve chosen this little corner of the third world to call home.

Anyway, I know people as old as their late seventies. A couple of military retirees in the mid-forties is the other extreme. So, I guess that puts me somewhere in the middle. I’m still relatively healthy and active, which is more than I can say for many of my peers. The fact of the matter is that when I look around me I honestly don’t see anyone I’d want to trade places with. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing, but it is what it is.

So then, why are we all here? I think it’s because, like the Brits in the artilce linked above, none of us are quite ready to settle down. I remember seeing the retirement communities developed for oldsters in places like Sun Valley, Arizona. And even back then I couldn’t fathom the attraction of living such a boring and vanilla lifestyle. Here we have a vibrant nightlife scene, ranging from prostitution bars to more traditional activities like pool and dart leagues. There are also daytime activities like the Hash and golfing clubs. Or long walks on the beach. And perhaps the biggest attraction is having the freedom to come and go and do as we please without being judged or considered “too old”. The girls here have a saying “age is just a number”, and judging by the couples I see out and about they must be sincere. I have one friend who is 66 and his live-in girlfriend is 22.

John and Mango. She adores him and he is devoted to her. Isn’t that what a relationship is supposed to be all about? What’s age got to do with it?
Oh, did I mention Mango is a hottie? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not envious. Much.

So yeah, I think the women here are part of the attraction. Guys like me ain’t gonna find any smokin’ hot babes half (or less) our age back in the homeland. And Filipinas are not your standard Western feminazis either, their natural instinct is take care of their man. Geez, I need to get out there and find me one of those! Seriously though, you can find a genuine caregiver for a fraction of what it would cost back home. And sometimes us old folks need that tender loving care. I sure do wish the one I had trained up hadn’t run away.

While far from perfect, life is good here for us old farts. And I do admire these ancient fuckers who are still in the game and not ready to sacrifice an active and engaged lifestyle for the proverbial rocking chair on the front porch. I think most of us who have chosen to live here know that we will likely die here. And we intend to do it with a smile on our face.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSRH4vh7fb8

Breakfast is served!

Over at Big Hominid’s Hairy Chasms, Kevin Kim shared his recipe for what he dubs a “dildo omelet”. Now, I usually just scramble my eggs because properly preparing an omelet is just too much of a pain in the ass. But Kev’s method of cooking one up was so fascinating I had to give it a try. You can follow his step-by-step preparation instructions at the link above, but here’s how I did mine in pictures:

I put a pot of water on the stove to boil and grabbed some eggs and cheese from the fridge. I wasn’t sure how much I could trust my bargain brand baggies, so I decided to double bag.
Eggs and cheese in the bag. Next time I’ll consider adding some mushrooms too. Anyway, you kinda smash all the ingredients around until they are well-blended then hold up the baggie and let them settle to the bottom.
Turn the water down just enough to where it stops boiling and drop in the baggie, eggs at the bottom. Let that cook in the pot for around 12 minutes then flip it around so the other side of the eggs can get some heat for around 3 minutes.
If you are like me you’ll want to be frying up some bacon while the eggs are cooking.
You’ve heard of a Denver omelet, here’s what my dildo omelet looks like. Honestly though, I’m not sure it looks all that much like a dildo. Maybe I did it wrong.
I like some salsa with my eggs and I’ve got to say it was damn delicious! Thanks for the tip, Kevin!

I had never heard of preparing eggs in this manner. One of my Facebook commenters says they did eggs like this in Girl Scouts. Who knew? I’ll definitely be using this method in the future.

After breakfast I took a morning stroll:

Life is good.

Before the deluge

Yesterday’s Hash was challenging. Given that the German (Almoranus) and his Austrian pal (Vienna Sausage) were the Hares, that’s not surprising. Of course we did the big mountain, but the up route, while steep, wasn’t vertical like they normally prefer. No, it was Mother Nature who set about mucking things up.

The afternoon was cloudy with some light sprinkles. I was fine with that because it cooled things down a tad.

Loaded up in the Hashmobile and ready to roll on out of Johansson’s.

Even so, the climb up the mountain was a hot and sweaty one. Took about 30 minutes of hard work to reach the top.

I stopped to catch my breath about half way up and snapped this photo…

The sky continued to darken and the clouds were looking ominous as we continued along the trail. I knew it was just a matter of time, but would the rain hold off until we were safely ensconced at our “on-home”?

We began making our way back down, slowly and surely as is my style. You might recognize Easter mountain off in the distance.

Shortly after the above photo was taken the skies opened up and the rain came down hard and fast. This created several problems. The already challenging downhill became muddy and even more treacherous. And the rain washed away most of the powder used to mark the trail which made it quite difficult to follow. Then my glasses got so damn wet I could barely see.

About half way down I lost the trail. No big deal. I knew where I was so it was just a matter of finding a decent path back down into Barretto. And I managed to do that without falling or otherwise fucking up. Once safely on the road (my old friend Rizal Extension) I noticed several Hashers on up ahead of me a couple of blocks. So I guess my downhill path must have run almost parallel to the one I should have taken. From there is was just enduring a rain soaked walk back to Johansson’s. All told the path I walked was just under 6 KM.

In other news I bought a plane ticket to Korea yesterday. I’ll fly out on May 30 and return to the PI on June 13. I’ll spend part of the time in Seoul and the rest in Pyeongtaek. I plan to catch up with some friends, walk old trails, and get my annual physical examination. Looking forward to it.