Yesterday, I got together with Mary, the young woman I’ve been chatting with, for the first time. I had once again suggested we meet at John’s place, but after further discussion, she convinced me that coming to my house was the best option. Mary told me she would finish school at 3:00 and message me when she was departing. I had an errand to run in town, so I figured I would camp out at IDM and wait there to hear from her so we could catch a trike together. It was after 4:00 when she finally messaged me that she was in a Jeepney and on her way. I hadn’t realized that she was going all the way home to Olongapo after school. I paid my tab, grabbed a trike, and waited for her at the entrance to Alta Vista. And then there she was, and we headed up into the hills together for the first time.

This meeting was a milestone in many respects, but I couldn’t help but consider the elephant in the room–our age gap. When I was fifty years old, the significant life-changing event of my move to Korea occurred. Nothing has ever been the same since. Also, when I was fifty, another significant thing happened: Mary was born. Yeah, kind of hard to wrap your mind around the fact that Mary is fifty years younger than me. Anyway, it is what it is.

So, we arrived at my place, and I introduced Mary to my helper and my dogs; then, we sat out on my patio and took in the bay views. We talked about her family, and she showed me pictures of some of her African-American relatives. Of course, that doesn’t matter to me at all, but she seems proud to have some foreigner in her bloodline. And no, she looks totally Filipina if you are wondering about any physical manifestations. She also showed me some pictures of awards she won in school, telling me she has always been academically near the top of her class. I asked her what some of her favorite subjects were, and she said she enjoyed writing, especially poems. Wow! I grabbed my box of high school memories and showed her the crap I used to write at her age, well, a little younger than that–I graduated at seventeen. She read a couple but didn’t seem all that impressed. Go figure.

And yes, there were some generation gap moments as well. Mary spent a lot of time on her phone, including playing songs she liked and singing along. Nothing wrong with that, but it distracted from the getting-to-know-you phase somewhat. So, I went back inside and finished preparing a simple dinner: meatballs in the crockpot, brussels sprouts, and garlic bread.

We sat, ate, and talked some more, and then Mary suggested we go to the bedroom. She gave me a massage, we cuddled and kissed a little, and then I asked if I could do anything for her. “Up to you,” she responded. And so I took it from there.

It was dark when we were done, but Mary carries a combination flashlight/taser, and so we made it safely back down to the highway, where she caught a Jeep for home. I had a couple of beers at Whiskey Girl, then triked back to the house.

So, there is something special about Mary. But I’m not so foolish as to believe this will ever be a boyfriend/girlfriend love relationship. I do enjoy her company, and perhaps I can play a role in her life that will prove beneficial to her future. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Perhaps she feels the same way–I just now got a message asking if I wanted her to come over today for another “massage.” I had to decline because it is feeding day at Hideaway. And also, because I am 67 years old and don’t have an “everyday” energy level, once a week suits me just fine. I think I might invite her to join me at the SOB on Friday night, though. We’ll see.

In other news, John Kim posted an update on his medical condition:

I am finally out of hospital.

After 2 weeks of hospitalization, I just got out. I must thank you all for support. I don’t even know how to thank you all for support. I was deeply touched.

Frankly speaking, I was actually getting ready to go. Kidney doesn’t get better and heart disease doesn’t really help the situation. I was dying, and I was ready but couldn’t bear the pain. As a part of edema symptom, my testicles expended to almost 8 times. I couldn’t breathe, sleep or sit. I had water in my chest, my legs were so swollen they started leak. I weigh 87kg but I went up to 120kg because of water build up inside my body. My hemoglobin level was less than 50% which people start going into shock.

I got admitted to the hospital and I had blood transfusion of 4 pints, had 7 sessions of dialysis and I was able get rid of most of swollen part of my body. Now, I have to commute to dialysis center 3 times a week but I feel no pain and breathe good.

You guys support really gave me the hope and gave me the reason to live. Thanks for saving my life.

That’s good news overall. I’d been worried we were going to lose a pillar of our community. Stay strong, John!

A great valley walk with two other members of the Wednesday group; I’ll post pics of that and an update on any other shenanigans I get involved in tonight. Till then.

One thing that wasn’t happening was that date I briefly mentioned in yesterday’s post. When Mary sent me a friend request on Facebook a couple of days ago, I noticed we only had one mutual FB friend–a woman who used to be my weekend cleaner. I accepted anyway, and we began chatting on Messenger. I was immediately impressed by her English fluency and her quick wit. One exchange I recall was me saying something like, “I do what I want, not what people tell me to do,” and she immediately responded with OMG! I think I know your astrological sign–those are traits of a Virgo. She’s right; that’s my sign. That led to discussions about religion and other deep topics. It’s been a rare experience for me to have more than surface conversations with the Filipinas I encounter.

Mary is going to school in Barretto and wanted to come to see me after class. I wasn’t comfortable with that since we hadn’t met in person yet. We chatted some more, and I discovered that my former helper was the girlfriend of Mary’s father. Mary also told me that her great-grandfather was a black man from the Navy days here. I mentioned that one of the gals in our Hash had an African-American father but didn’t give a name. Mary immediately said, “Wendy Burdette–that’s my aunt!” It is incredible how interconnected folks are here in my little town.

I also learned that Mary has a baby who will turn two later this year; of course, that seems to be the norm in this country. Still, I enjoy our chats enough to want to get to know her better, even if she is not a good fit for a long-term romantic relationship. Mary asked again about visiting me, and I suggested we meet for dinner instead. It turns out we have similar food favorites, so I wanted to introduce her to the menu at John’s place. Mary said she would finish at her school between three and four, change at her grandmother’s house (Mary doesn’t live in Barretto), and meet me there. I told her to message me thirty minutes beforehand because that’s how long it takes me to walk to John’s.

Around 2:30, we had a power outage here in Alta Vista. That always sucks, but it was especially frustrating because I hadn’t showered yet. No power = no water at my place. My helper was able to extract a pail from the water tank in the basement, and I washed up the best I was able with a bucket bath. Rather than sit around in a hot house, I headed out to IDM to await the message from Mary, arriving a little after three o’clock. I tried to drink slowly but was on my third gin and soda by 4:30. Mary finally messaged me that she had to cancel because her grandmother wasn’t feeling well and she needed to take of her. And that was that. I was disappointed but understanding.

Alright, I admit I saw a potential red flag. Today I checked with our mutual friend, and her story mostly checks out. I’ve chatted with Mary some more today, and I’m willing to give her another chance. In fact, she wanted to meet tomorrow, but I’ll be going to Pundaquit with the nephews (yes, Josh’s brother Justin arrived this morning) for the weekend. I jokingly invited Mary to come along, and she was asking what time we would return on Sunday, so I told her it was too soon for that and we would take some time to get to know one another first.

I’m not sure what I’m doing here. If it turns out that we have a connection and I feel that I can trust her, I’d consider playing the Sugar Daddy role. I know a guy who sponsored a young woman through college, and she, in turn, showed her appreciation by giving him a GFE (girlfriend experience). I used to see them around town, and there seemed to be genuine affection between them, even though the age difference and life goals were not in sync. She’s graduated now and is pursuing her career in Manila, and he feels satisfaction from making a meaningful difference in her life. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ll meet Mary first, then assess what role we may have to play together (if any) going forward.

After learning I wouldn’t be eating at John’s place after all, I went to Baloy Beach to visit Josh at his hotel, Johan’s. We did a Baloy bar crawl (Johan’s, DaKudo’s, McCoy, and Snackbar) then I called it a night.

This morning I did an enjoyable stroll of almost 8K. Street walking, so I didn’t bother with many photos. But boats on the bay are always nice to see, right?

Justin and Josh will accompany me to the SOB tonight. That should be fun.

Back tomorrow with a full report.