Coasting along

A pretty nice Hash trail yesterday. Sure, it had its ups and downs, but don’t they all? A mix of street walking and hill trekking made for a nice ride overall.

Our roller coaster ride for the day. Right around 6K.
Leaving the VFW behind. The VFW is also our On-Home destination. In a roundabout way…
Still on the mean streets of Barretto…
Our “sane” group of Hashers is by far the biggest in the SBH3. Basically, we take a 30-minute headstart every week and shortcut at will. Although shortcuts weren’t really necessary yesterday.
Our newest (and probably largest) named Hasher: 18-kilo ass.
“Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house, we go…” Damn, I haven’t thought of that Christmas tune in decades.
Come on up!
Almost there, ladies.
Taking a breather at the highest point on our trek. We still had a down and an up ahead of us though.
Our virgin Hasher.
Keep on keepin’ on!
The requisite photo of Easter mountain, with a fat guy included at no extra charge.
Regrouping for the final leg of our hike.
Hey, this neighborhood looks familiar!
Oh yeah, the high view from Alta Vista.

And that was pretty much it for yesterday’s Hash. A friend and blog reader, Maria, made me some personalized coasters.

Yep, that’s my Hash name in the beer foam. How appropriate!

I handed some out to my fellow Hashers and they seemed to like them too. Thanks again, Maria.

I also left a few coasters with Pearl to use at her food place. Spreading the joy this holiday season! We also enjoyed a nice lunch together today. I’ll post about that tomorrow.

Saw this meme on Facebook today and had to agree with the sentiment:

So it would appear.

I’ve got some darts in my immediate future so I’d best get prepared for that endeavor.

Stay tuned!

Bars of Barretto: Bottoms Up

A somewhat surprising experience here.

Bottoms Up is an old-school girly bar. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it is just not my thing. Yesterday was only the second time I’d been in this bar–the first was my New Year’s Eve bar crawl. The fact that I never went back until now gives you an idea of my underwhelming first impression. But things change I suppose, or maybe I have. I actually enjoyed this visit.

I arrived very early (even for me) at around 3:30. I was the only customer in the place, which is not surprising for that early hour. I was immediately welcomed by a waitress who asked if I remembered her from the days when she worked at Treasure Island. I didn’t. I guess seeing my naked butt on the ice at a Hash event made a big impression on her. Of course, I bought her a lady drink which was surprisingly reasonably priced at 120 pesos.

Nice to see you again, Shantelle!

The ambiance of the bar was also a bit nicer than I had remembered.

Like this “private” room for example.

I asked my waitress what purpose the room served and she said it was for large groups of customers. I asked about getting blowjobs or boom-boom, and she laughed and said “no, only outside”. She did confirm that girls are free to negotiate “takeout” with the customer though. I’d wager if you were spending enough in the bar you might see some hanky panky in that room, but that’s just supposition.

It’s a small place, but not uncomfortable.
Dancing is still not allowed in the bars, so this lonely Christmas tree was the only thing to view on the dance stage.

One other thing that makes Bottoms Up somewhat unique is that they employ a couple of baklas (transgender or ladyboy). I only saw one during my visit, and no, I didn’t find her attractive at all. I am personally not bothered by having baklas in the bar, as long as they leave me alone. I don’t want to be pestered by the “real” girls either. There are some folks in my little town who will not patronize any bar when baklas are present, so it’s a pretty gutsy management decision to hire them. As my waitress said, transgender folk need to make a living too.

What I liked about the place was it was cozy and friendly. My happy hour beer price was only 60 pesos (regular price is a reasonable 80 pesos). Best of all, they have a “buy 2, get 1 free” promotion going on. I’ve never seen a deal like that anywhere else. Of course, I wasn’t going to leave without finishing my free beer, and my longer-than-normal stay resulted in my buying a total of three lady drinks for Shantelle. I guess that’s a win-win. Or maybe just an expensive free beer. One of those.

Bottom line on Bottoms Up–I enjoyed my visit. That’s what it is all about in the bar biz.

To the ratings then. As I’ve mentioned before, I will reevaluate the rankings based on additional experiences I may have after my bar review visit. Finger Monkeys is a bar I am now boycotting because I learned the owner there is exploiting her workers. My two favorites have left the bar because of the unfair treatment they received. I won’t be back.

  1. It Doesn’t Matter
  2. Mango’s Beach Bar
  3. Alley Cats
  4. Adam’s
  5. Blue Butterfly
  6. Out Back Billabong
  7. Dynamite Dick’s
  8. Palm Tree
  9. Hideaway
  10. Bottoms Up
  11. Rosies
  12. Rock Lobster
  13. Queen Victoria
  14. Voodoo
  15. Annex
  16. MacArthur’s
  17. Redz Pub
  18. Whiskey Girl
  19. Finger Monkey

What a good day looks like

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…

I can’t think of a better way to start the day than to wake up next to a sweet young brown-skinned woman. And that’s how I started mine! Then things took a turn for the better. Pearl wanted to know if I was going to do the Friday group hike and I asked if she had something else in mind. She did, suggesting we do our hike together in San Antonio, about 35K away in Zambales province.

Pearl said she knew of a resort there with hiking trails and she had always wanted to see what it was like. Sounds like a plan! We walked the dogs together, then headed down to the highway. Pearl didn’t have her hiking shoes with her, so she called her mother and asked her to meet us at Waltermart in Subic town. We caught a Jeepney and were on our way. Once she had her shoes we went back out on the highway to catch a bus. The way it works here is you stand on the side of the road and when you see a bus coming you wave it down. Provided there are seats available, the driver will pull over and pick you up. We didn’t have to wait long before we were aboard a nice air-conditioned bus destined to pass through San Antonio. Fare was 40 pesos each.

Because of traffic and frequent stops to pick up passengers, it took us about 45 minutes to reach our destination city. I’d been here a couple of times but was clueless as to where to go next. Luckily, Pearl knew her way around a lot better than me. We hailed a trike and Pearl asked the driver to take us to a restaurant she liked for breakfast. It seemed like we did a lot of driving around on backstreets before pulling up to a building with a “closed” sign on the door. Oh well. Pearl said we could eat at the resort, so off we went. It was a pretty good way out of town, but then things started looking oddly familiar. We were on the road to Pundaquit, an area where we had done a couple of Hashes back in the good ol’ days. We crossed the rickety old river bridge I remembered and shortly thereafter arrived at the Stonehill Farm and Resort.

It was still only about 9:30 in the morning and the place was pretty much deserted. The restaurant was closed for renovations, but this little store was open, so we went the cup of noodles and crackers route.
We ate our “meal” poolside in a Nipa hut.
My dining companion made the meal much more enjoyable though.
The portions of the resort I saw seemed well-maintained. There were three levels of swimming pools in this area.
I also enjoyed the signage. It was nice to hike a trail devoid of litter for a change.
Hard to argue with these words of wisdom.
That’s good advice. There was only one snake around, but I kept it zipped up.
Alright, we came to hike. Let’s get on with it.
According to a map I briefly glanced at, there are four levels on the hike. It begins here.
And we’re off!
Photo op.
Those are some islands.
Here they are in the zoom version.
No more steps, just a regular trail heading upwards. It did get steep in places.
“Hello there, miss. Hike here often?”
Made it to level 2. Ain’t she sweet?
The view from here.
Mountainsides.
We won’t!
Made it!
Good job!
A river runs through it.
San Antonio in the distance.
We opted to save level 4 for another day. Not because we were tired, mostly in the interest of time. I was ready for lunch! The trail back down looped around the mountain and took us back to near our original starting place. I’d like to do the trail in reverse next time.
The scenery on trail was hard to beat!

Once we were back down and had exited the resort, we stood on the road and waited for an empty trike to pass by. I decided to start walking towards Pundaquit (poon-dock-it) to get my bearings straight. Soon enough I saw the road to Monty’s resort where we had done the Hash a couple of years ago. I knew there was a bar/restaurant I liked not much further away and then a trike arrived so we had him take us. “To the Gas Station”, I announced, and off we went. We kept going and going and I’m thinking, damn, I don’t remember it being this far. Finally, the trike pulled over and stopped at an abandoned gas station. I said, “no, no. This is not where I meant. The Gas Station is a restaurant!” He shook his head and shrugged. “Never mind, just take us back to San Antonio.” As we were driving I remembered a key detail–it’s not called The Gas Station. The name is Car Wash. Once I said those magic words the driver immediately knew what I was talking about.

So, we got our lunch after all.
The Car Wash has a very nice ambiance and is huge. I had a pleasant chat with the American owner while I devoured my tasty hamburger.

After lunch, we caught a trike back to San Antonio and a bus pulled up almost immediately after we arrived. This one wasn’t airconditioned but it was breezy and comfortable. I got home in plenty of time to shower up and head out to the darts tourney.

And my good day concluded with a victory.

Today has not been nearly as nice. But I’ll worry about that tomorrow.

Being thankful

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans. I don’t know that I feel particularly lucky, but I am thankful for the life I have and the blessings that surround me. It is easy to take living a comfortable existence for granted, but I am surrounded by reminders that many others are not so fortunate. So, on this day I will embrace the good life I am living and pause to appreciate all that I have.

I’ll be attending a Thanksgiving gathering at a nearby neighbor’s house later this afternoon. As is my tradition, I’ll be bringing a batch of my Aunt Pat’s Recipe World Famous Fruit Salad along with me. The Philippines version is always a bit of a challenge ingredients-wise. No pecans again this year, so I used walnuts. The coconut (buko as it is called here) is fresh out of the shell and not as tender and sweet as the stuff I used to buy in the bag. The sour cream here has a liquid consistency that doesn’t really hold the other ingredients together in the way I prefer. Oh, and I f’d up and bought a can of mandarin orange fruit cocktail instead of the actual oranges my recipe calls for. Yeah, you can call me Mr. President if you want. Well, keeping with the theme of being thankful on this day, my fruit salad is better than nothing. So there is that.

The finished product, such as it is.

I’m bringing a batch of brownies too.

Here’s hoping they taste better than they look!

The only BPI ATM in town was out of cash yesterday. Had enough on hand to get me through the night, so I was thankful for that. I wound up taking a Jeepney into Subic town this morning to make a withdrawal from the BPI bank branch there. Filled my wallet with 20,000 pesos. The gals are going to really love that bulge in my pants tonight!

This seemed like a good time for a Dick joke. You are welcome!

I also picked up my new passport with the entry stamp transferred from the old passport. I’m good to go now until December 1, 2022. I will have to exit the Philippines at some point prior to that date. Hopefully, the stupidity will be over by then and I’ll be able to come back home. Still, I’m thankful I was able to get all this done without having to make TWO trips to the Manila immigration office. Thank you for your service Ella’s Travel.

Yesterday’s dart league action was against the team from Blue Butterfly. I could tell from watching them warm-up they wouldn’t be much of a challenge. Well, there was one Filipino guy who appeared to throw pretty decent darts. But it turns out Filipino males are not allowed to play in our league–it’s for expats and females only. When our team captain arrived he reminded the other team of this rule and to our surprise and embarrassment it turns out the “guy” wasn’t a guy after all. Looks can be deceiving sometimes. The opponents’ captain offered to have the player in question prove her gender, but we graciously accepted her word for it.

We went on to win the match 13-0. I guess we had the bigger dicks after all…

Speaking of darts, my Facebook memories for today included this photo from nine years ago:

Bull and Barrel, at one time the best darts bar in Itaewon. Long gone now as are just about everyone in the photo. Bridget is dead, Jeremy did six years in prison, some of the Filipino’s got deported, I got dumped, and the rest just moved on to the next chapter.

It brought to mind this old Beatles tune though:

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

Ah, well. I’m thankful for the memories of happier times. Mostly.

I promised some photos from yesterday’s hike, and here they come. As an added bonus, you can Relive the hike too.

It was actually 6K. I forgot to turn on the tracker at the beginning.
At our regular meet-up spot–the 7/11 parking lot on Baloy road. Another large group of 17 hikers joined in the fun.
We did a couple of moderate climbs, one we had not done for a year or so. Also covered a lot of the familiar My Bitch trail. I was pleased my injured back responded so well.
And we are off the road and into the weeds…
The bridge wasn’t too far into the hike.
Workin’ it.
Going up.
She must be really hot!
Easter mountain in the distance…
Road work ahead.
Yard work.
Hello, is anybody home?
I like this guy’s point of view.
That old board made this a real creak crossing.
We very rarely see snakes on our hikes, and when do, we are glad they are dead.
What are you looking at?
Farting competition!
Are we coming or going? Turns out it was both.
That’s the skinny on the hike. I reckon you are thankful this post is over…

I am truly thankful for your readership and indulgence. I’ll be back with more of this kind of crap tomorrow. Promise!

I won’t back down

I only did a small portion of yesterday’s Hash trail in deference to my ailing back. The pain is not quite as sharp today and as of now, I intend to do the group hike tomorrow, even if that means gritting my teeth in agony while I walk. I hope it doesn’t come to that.

So, in COVID prevention news, we no longer have to wear those dumbass face shields in the supermarket. I was so pleased heading out to Royal for my shopping excursion this morning without one. Imagine my surprise and disappointment when I was asked for my vaccination card by the security guard at the entrance. WTF? I ain’t go one. It was right at opening time and the guard indicated the vaccine requirement wasn’t in effect yet, so I was able to enter the store. I was pissed because it is a stupid policy and especially because there had been absolutely no forewarning. Idiots.

At the checkout stand, I cashed in the points on my Royal rewards card figuring I might not be back anytime soon. That was good for twenty bucks off my groceries. As I was leaving I went to the customer service desk to get clarification on the vax policy–specifically, I wanted to know if applied to all the stores on SBMA (the old Navy base) or only Royal. I didn’t get a clear answer on that, but I suspected it will be SBMA-wide. All the manager could tell me was they were waiting for “the memo”. Well, I just saw on Facebook that people have been turned away this afternoon from both Royal stores. And someone posted this showing that the restriction is indeed SBMA-wide:

Let freedom ring. Not.

So, I’ll be doing my shopping elsewhere for the foreseeable future. You know, I’m actually not anti-vaccination. I just don’t need one since I’ve already had COVID. And if this shit they are forcing on people actually worked, those of us who are unvaccinated wouldn’t pose a threat. And the more they try and force me into getting jabbed, the more I’m inclined to resist. I’ll make up my own mind about when or if I want to be shot. Honestly, it won’t surprise me if immigration starts requiring proof of vaccination to renew your visa. What a crock this all is. I think only about 35% of the general population has been vaccinated, I guess they can eat cake.

This was me four years ago today in Korea. Probably the last winter I’ll ever experience. Unless I get deported.

Alright, let me share some photos from my abbreviated Hash yesterday:

Gathering up at the VFW. There were three trails as I understand it…long, medium, and short. Make that four trails–I did my own version.
And we are off! I did the first couple of blocks then veered off on a detour to Pearl’s food place. Alas, she wasn’t there so I had a couple of beers then moved on.
This is some of what I missed out on. My back just wasn’t up for a climb.
This place is on the main drag in Barretto but I had never even heard of it. The beach is at the end of a long driveway off the highway. Never had a reason to walk down that way until yesterday. It was near the end of the official Hash trail, so I was once again “On-On!”
The Hares had provided a “beer stop” here, so I stopped and had one. I actually really liked this place. A bit rustic and intended to cater to a Filipino crowd, but I would consider renting one of those Nipa huts for a beach party.
The two female Hares, Dumbass and Dripping Pussy, are on the beach.
And the two male Hares, Yogini and Leaking Willy, are showing the way to the wet portion of the trail. Yep, there was a walk through the bay water between Barretto and Baloy for those willing to do so. I wasn’t one of them.
There goes one now. I understand the water got waist deep in places.
Some Gash at the beer stop. That Nipa hut behind them is the one I’d like to rent.
I walked the dry road to Baloy for the On-Home at Da’ Kudos. There I encountered these Hashers speaking to each other in German. I loudly proclaimed, “you’re in the Philippines, damn it! Speak English!” I was joking, of course. Only two of them are German, there’s an Austrian and a Dutchman as well.
A nice day on Baloy beach.
The Hash circle in motion.
And the sun goes down on another Hash Monday.

Now to find out if my bad back will impact my ability to throw darts. Well, at least I’ll have an excuse if I play poorly, legitimate or not. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Well, I know what's right
I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground
And I won't back down

Bars of Barretto: Mango’s Beach Bar

I debated whether to include Mango’s in this list. I’m generally not doing hotel restaurant bars, but have made exceptions (see Palm Tree). Mango’s has its own stand-alone bar as well (see Rock Lobster). But I spend a lot of time at this bar on the beach and so I think it warrants inclusion.
Besides, since Mango’s calls it a bar, who am I to argue?

The above photo is from the front of the bar looking towards the water. There are dining tables in addition to the bar stools.

A view from the back to the front.

I don’t spend much time at the actual bar though.

This is my spot on the patio facing the beach. Back when I was a more frequent visitor, they actually put a “reserved” sign up so I always had my seat.
Honestly, I enjoy looking at views like this as much as I do bargirls…well, almost as much.

Speaking of which, this is one of the few places in town where you can’t buy the attention of a waitress for the price of a lady drink. This is not to say the staff isn’t friendly. In fact, I’m Facebook friends with at least three of them. I’m always made to feel like an honored guest when I arrive, which is nice.

So, a seat with a view, cold beer, kindly folks to serve me; what else could I ask for? Well, Mango’s is also one of my favorite restaurants. I love the grilled pork chops especially, although lately they frequently haven’t been available. Like on this visit. Oh well, just give me a roast chicken salad then.

Yummy!

Regular readers may recall that during the early days of the lockdown last year a certain bar on the beach continued serving their regular customers in the manner of a speakeasy. I’m not saying where that was, but I always appreciated their trust and I’ve tried to repay it with my loyalty.

The music is low-key, happy hour beers are 70 pesos, and 90 pesos thereafter. No extra charge for the beach views. I like this place. A lot.

Where things stand so far:

  1. It Doesn’t Matter
  2. Mango’s Beach Bar
  3. Alley Cats
  4. Finger Monkeys
  5. Adam’s
  6. Blue Butterfly
  7. Out Back Billabong
  8. Dynamite Dick’s
  9. Palm Tree
  10. Hideaway
  11. Rosies
  12. Rock Lobster
  13. Queen Victoria
  14. Voodoo
  15. Annex
  16. MacArthur’s
  17. Redz Pub
  18. Whiskey Girl

Back off

Another Hash Monday so just a quick post before I head out. My back still ain’t right–maybe a bit less pain or maybe I’m just getting used to it–but I’m not thinking doing the trail today is in my future. The 43-year-old offered to come give me a massage, but now that I have a girlfriend I decided that wasn’t a good idea. I figure I’ll walk to the VFW for the start, then walk out to Baloy Beach for the On-Home. Hey, that’s part of the trail at least.

Sorry to say, that’s all I’ve got. I went straight home after my visit to Finger Monkeys last night and haven’t done shit since. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. We’ll see.

The potential downside to having a girlfriend…

Bars of Barretto: Finger Monkeys

Welcome to the newest bar in Barretto. The grand opening was last night and I was there!

To begin, I hate the name. Finger Monkeys Ready To Race. What does that even mean? If I were compiling a list of worst bar names ever, this one would be near the top. Okay, rant over. It’s not the name outside that matters, it is what goes on inside that makes a bar fun.

On the right is the owner, Marick. Sweet Joy is in the middle, and Jen is on the left. Joy and Jen are the waitresses I buy drinks for.

Until a couple of weeks ago, Marick ran a closet-sized bar named Marick’s Bar and Grill. I have no idea why she didn’t bring that name to the new place. She did bring Joy and Jen, so at least I could enjoy some familiar faces in the new place. Finger Monkeys is small but twice as large as Marick’s, so there that is an improvement comfort-wise.

That’s pretty much the extent of the place. One large table in the middle of a small room. There is also a little counter in the corner where I was seated (and from whence I took this photo).
There is no actual bar in this bar, but this is the area where drinks are concocted.
I thought the artwork on the ceiling was really cool.

It was opening night and the place got really packed by the time I left. The first beer was on the house and free finger foods were provided.

It was a nice touch.

So, obviously, you can’t judge what a bar is going to be like after the first night, but I haven’t let that stop me from doing so for some other bars in this series. If they carry over the friendly, small bar vibe that I experienced at Marick’s, I’ll like it. If they go the rumored Resto-Bar (karaoke with food) route, I won’t be participating. I enjoy the company of Marick and her staff in the bar and it is more conveniently located now near my other frequent haunts. I’m sure I’ll be popping in on at least a semi-regular basis.

I’m going to rank Finger Monkeys on the assumption it will have the same atmosphere as its predecessor. If that proves not to be the case, I’ll adjust the ranking accordingly.

  1. It Doesn’t Matter
  2. Alley Cats
  3. Finger Monkeys
  4. Adam’s
  5. Blue Butterfly
  6. Out Back Billabong
  7. Dynamite Dick’s
  8. Palm Tree
  9. Hideaway
  10. Rosies
  11. Rock Lobster
  12. Queen Victoria
  13. Voodoo
  14. Annex
  15. MacArthur’s
  16. Redz Pub
  17. Whiskey Girl

Back out

I don’t know what the hell is going on but I’ve just about had enough, thank you very much. Yesterday morning my right foot big toe was hurting like hell, enough to wake me up early and make walking the dog unpleasant. Closer inspection revealed that the bitchy pedicurist had cut the nail way too short and an ingrown toenail was the result. I silently prayed for the Lord to make me forget about the toe pain and my prayers were answered. Later that morning when I got up out of my chair it felt like someone had stabbed me in the back. No idea where that came from, I didn’t slip, trip, or fall. I took some aspirin and went about my day, albeit uncomfortably. My back feels fine when I am sitting or laying down. Getting into those positions, or anything that involves bending over is borderline excruciating. It’s a dull pain when I stand or walk, which is at least bearable.

So, as you saw in the previous post, I did my bar review at Voodoo. Then I tried to dull the pain with more beers at It Doesn’t Matter. That didn’t work, so I figured a good back rub from my favorite at Cheap Charlies might do the trick. It did feel great and seemed to help. Until I walked down the stairs to head home. I popped into her place on the way to say goodnight and wound up confirming a “date” to go hiking this morning and have lunch afterward.

It was a painful night getting up to pee as often as I do. When I rolled out of bed at 0400 I was glad to see Buddy at least was sleeping peacefully.

Lucky bastard.

After the morning dog walk, I knew I was in no condition to do the planned hike.

Even the beauty of Easter mountain failed to ease my pain.

When I got back home I sent her a message saying I couldn’t walk but lunch was still a go if she were up for it. She was. So, I plopped some pork chops and cream of mushroom soup in the crockpot and awaited her arrival.

She is a real sweetheart. She brought along some remedies for my aching back.

Starting with buko (coconut) juice, which is according to Filipino culture a cure-all for pretty much everything. It was my first time drinking the milk and it wasn’t bad.
And she also had these more medically approved treatments to share with me as well.

I had everything for lunch just about ready to go when she arrived. Put it on a plate and served it up.

Where’s the garlic bread you ask? Still in the oven, I somehow forgot about it until after it had baked to a crispy black. Let’s go, Brandon!
Oh, well. She professed to enjoy the meal even without bread.

After we ate, we retreated to the bedroom where Pearl used her magic hands to rub my back and spread the medications around. One of them, I think it was the menthol, almost felt like it was burning me, but in a weird way, it also felt good. After the treatment, we cuddled and kissed and decided to take our relationship to the next level. Yep, here I go again. Wish me luck!

Later in the afternoon, She needed to return to her place of business. I walked with her there and felt less pain than I had on my morning walk. I also brought along some of the brownies I had made for dessert to share with her workers. Had a couple of beers while I was there and enjoyed spending a little more time with her.

Ain’t she sweet?

I know better than to speculate too much on what lies ahead. Que sera, sera, and all that. I’ll be happy if my back has improved enough to do the Hash run tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

Bars of Barretto: Voodoo

Voodoo is the first old-school classic “girly bar” in Barretto. I define a girly bar as one that has a stage where scantily clad women dance for your entertainment. Alas, although the dance stage remains, dancing is currently forbidden in any bar. It seems sexy women moving to the beat of the music attracts the COVID virus. The science on that is settled according to the powers that be.

I’m going to start this review with a disclaimer. Voodoo is one of the Dryden group of bars and I’m on friendly terms with the owner. I won’t intentionally let that dissuade me from giving my honest impressions of the bar, but I wanted to be upfront about that relationship. The owner is also the leader of the local business association and regularly interacts with city and barangay leadership on issues that impact the expat community. I don’t want to cause any trouble by inadvertently saying or showing things that may or may not comport with current restrictions and requirements. I tried to be discreet in my photography for that reason. With that said, here we go:

Instead of dancing on the stage, the gals sit around tables waiting for a customer to make their day by calling them down for a lady drink.

It is a very small bar, but not uncomfortable. People come here to enjoy the company of the dancers waitresses–no pool, no darts, just the ladies. Well, if you look closely at the photo above, there is a small curtained alcove in the back (you can see a young woman sitting there). I was told that it is a karaoke room. That sucks.

My crappy pic of the bar. Customers almost always sit at the tables to facilitate interaction with the staff.
Just in case you forget where you are on one of those drunken nights…
Ring the Bell and enjoy having your name emblazoned on the Wall of Fame for posterity.

The bell ring is one of the traditions of the girly bar genre. A bell ring costs 2900 pesos ($60.) at Voodoo and all the girls working get a lady drink. It is a quick way to popularity. It’s not my thing, but I’ve seen some guys, usually tourists, go nuts with the bell rings–in some cases spending over a thousand bucks. That’s why the bars need the tourist trade, us expats tend to be cheap bastards.

The Voodoo bell remained unrung during my visit. I was also the only customer at the time.

So, here’s the deal. The girly bar format is really not my thing. Even when the girls could dance around on the stage, it just wasn’t much of an attraction for me. So take what I say with a grain of salt, some guys love this type of bar. The girls in these places tend to be more aggressive than in “normal” bars, although last night I wasn’t pestered much for lady drinks. One gal joined me at my table uninvited when I first sat down, but after I told the waitress “no” when she asked if I was going to buy a lady drink, I wasn’t asked again. The girl stayed at my table anyway, and I did eventually buy her a drink.

The attractiveness of the staff covered the spectrum, but no one stood out enough for me to be tempted. Service was fine. Beers were 90 pesos at Happy Hour and then are 110 pesos normally. The lady drink was 185 pesos. Prices tend to be a bit higher in girly bars for what I presume is the overhead expenses of employing so many women.

My “it’s a nice bar, but not my thing” face.

So, a cozy bar to sit and watch or chat with the women. I kind of liked the ambiance of feeling close to everyone surrounding me, almost like being at a party. If I were into the girly bar scene I might prefer a small bar like this one. And since I was the only guy in the place, I’m pretty sure I was the most handsome man around. I didn’t specifically ask about “take out”, but I’m pretty sure the girls are free to leave with a customer if they desire to do so. Bringing people together is what this bar format is all about.

The rankings:

  1. It Doesn’t Matter
  2. Alley Cats
  3. Adam’s
  4. Blue Butterfly
  5. Out Back Billabong
  6. Dynamite Dick’s
  7. Palm Tree
  8. Hideaway
  9. Rosies
  10. Rock Lobster
  11. Queen Victoria
  12. Voodoo
  13. Annex
  14. MacArthur’s
  15. Redz Pub
  16. Whiskey Girl

Dipping our Tibag in the creek

An unusual and interesting hike with the Friday group yesterday. For one thing, we had 17 hikers in attendance–that’s a record for our group. The other thing we did was rent one-way transport to Tibag, a trip that wound up taking about 45 minutes. Part of the problem was the road was in poor condition which made for slow going. We were also stopped at two different checkpoints along the way. Why they are still doing that at this stage (no new COVID cases in Zambales for weeks) is beyond me. They asked some questions of the Filipinos with us, checked some IDs, and eventually let us proceed to our destination. I’ve done some hiking in and around Tibag before and like the area, but this time we were going to walk from our drop-off point all the way to Subic town on a trail none of us had ever actually traveled. What could go wrong?

The road to Tibag ends at a newly opened landfill. The trail as we understood it started on the other side of the dump. We found a trail there and took it all the way up near the top of the mountain. And then the trail ended at a creek. Well, we ain’t much for backtracking and figured if we walked downstream we’d eventually find a trail, if not the trail. I hate hiking creekbeds, but at least this one didn’t have a bunch of large boulders to climb over. Water was flowing, but the rocks weren’t all that slippery. At first, we attempted to hop, skip, and jump over the water along the banks, but eventually, we gave up and just splashed our way downstream. After an hour or so of creek walking, we found ourselves back near where we had started. There were two paths to choose from and luckily a friendly farmer pointed us to the trail that led in the direction of Subic. Once on the proper trail, our march was almost pleasant, but it was still a long way to go and our detour had left us somewhat exhausted. But in the end, we reached our intended goal with no casualties.

Here are some photos from the adventure:

The way we rolled. That big loop on the right was our wrong turn.
Getting 15 people in the back of that white van was an uncomfortable endeavor. Luckily for me, I was riding up front in the cab.
And we are off!
A trashy start to the hike…
I suppose it is better to have all the litter gathered in one place than to be scattered around the countryside.
I’m sure there must be worse jobs than this, but not many. Ah, the life of a trash collector “recycling engineer.”
Leaving the garbage behind, we took a time-out for a group photo.
Little did we know where our chosen path was leading us.
People do live up here…
Although it must be a real pain in the ass.
Marching towards a dead end.
Heading down to the creek...
Hey, what happened to our trail?
Kate doing her creekside rock dance.
Are we having fun yet?
There are a lot more options once you are resigned to having wet feet.
Come on in, the water’s fine!
That’s my sweetie Pearl behind her friend, Kathryn.
Wet trail!
My beer belly is ridiculous. I wonder what causes it?
Almost back to where we started. Now to find the REAL trail.
Watch your step going down, Scott…
Now that’s my kinda girl, er, I mean trail.
A mountain view.
Time for a headcount. Everyone is here except the old slow fuckers.
Aren’t they lovely? The flowers I mean…
Onward!
I’ve seen worse…
Now we are getting somewhere.
Subic lies on the far side of this harvested rice paddy…
Getting there.
Almost to our destination.
On the other side of this bridge is Subic town and our transportation back to Barretto. That’s Pearl walking behind me. She has a fear of heights and held onto my hand as we crossed. Isn’t that sweet?
Arriving at the Jeepney stand at Waltermart. It was already 1:30 (we started at 0900) and I was bushed, so took a trike home as soon as we hit pavement.

Although the hike didn’t go as planned, it was good to be out and seeing some new scenery. I rather enjoyed it. My day was far from over though, I still had a dart tournament to compete in.

I went undefeated through the winner’s bracket. Billy came back up through the loser’s bracket to face me in the finals. As is my custom, I offered a tie and split of 1st and 2nd place money. Billy accepted my offer and we both went home winners.

After darts, I went to visit Pearl at her food stand. Had some sweet and sour chicken for dinner there. Pearl sat with me and we had a nice long chat. Interesting gal and nothing like I’m used to. I told her that I’d be taking things slowly with her, but I’m definitely ready to try one more time. It should be interesting.

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And she's taken just all that I had
But if you want, I'll try to love again

Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby, I know, the first cut is the deepest
When it come to being lucky, she's cursed
When it come to loving me, she's worst

Bars of Barretto: Rock Lobster

Rock Lobster is the stand-alone bar at Mango’s. Not to be confused with the beach bar/resto that I usually frequent.

Although I’m in Mango’s a couple of times a week, it’s been well over a year since I last visited Rock Lobster. Nothing wrong with the inside bar, I just prefer sitting beachside.

It features a nice pool table, but no darts. They do a weekly pool tournament. The only other customer last night was playing with one of the bargirls. To be clear, he was playing POOL.
They also have a quiz night if that’s your kind of thing.
It’s a spacious bar, with several of these cable spools converted into tables.
It is also very well appointed. I liked the convenience of the urinal behind that swinging door…
The actual bar itself was fully occupied by bored bargirls…
But Marj and I kept one another entertained.

Actually, Marj knew me from the time she used to work at It Doesn’t Matter. My Biden-like brain didn’t really remember her though. She was also quite sweet and I enjoyed chatting with her. Only 20-years-old which surprised me. Smart and savvy, too. No kids and no intentions of ever being an unwed mother (that is something quite rare in this country). I teasingly asked if she wanted to come home with me on a barfine (paying the girl so she can leave work early) and she laughed and said no. She told me some girls do, but she is just here to waitress.

A nice and comfortable bar and a good place to hang out. Except the WiFi sucks. I do not understand how any hospitality business can not have good internet service this far into the twenty-first century. For some reason, even my data would not connect inside the bar (the WiFi in Mango’s beachside bar is also no good, but outdoors my data connects with no problem). Marj wanted to become FB friends but alas, we weren’t able to make a connection. Story of my life.

Otherwise, nothing bad to say about Rock Lobster. I still prefer beachside at Mango’s though.

  1. It Doesn’t Matter
  2. Alley Cats
  3. Adam’s
  4. Blue Butterfly
  5. Out Back Billabong
  6. Dynamite Dick’s
  7. Palm Tree
  8. Hideaway
  9. Rosies
  10. Rock Lobster
  11. Queen Victoria
  12. Annex
  13. MacArthur’s
  14. Redz Pub
  15. Whiskey Girl

A grave day on the trail

Something a little different for the Wednesday Walkers yesterday. Took a Jeepney out to the Kalaklan area of Olongapo, then climbed some stairs, well, lots of stairs, and wound up leaving the land of the living. Heh, all in a day’s hike. Let’s get to the photos:

It was not a really long trail, with only one big climb up to the ridge. But I hadn’t been in such a dead zone since 2018.
Riding the Jeepney. Not very comfortable and I don’t even let myself think (much) about how unsafe it is…
Let the climb to Kalaklan ridge begin…
Taking it one stairstep at a time…
On and on it goes…
People do live up here and making this climb is just another part of what appears to be a hard life.
Have a cookie and hang in there, kid.
It wasn’t the stairway to heaven.
But it did lead us to the graveyard.
The view is so nice people are dying to get in here.
I see dead people.
Leaving the graveyard behind us at last…
Shyrel was pooped out after the climb…
On the ridgeline road.
Looking back down on Olongapo City.
Keep on truckin’!
Troy waiting for the slowpokes to catch up…
Here comes one now. Sorry for the trashy environment. I guess when you are poor disposing of your garbage properly isn’t as high a priority as feeding your kids. I don’t like the litter, but I try not to judge.
Crossing the creek. This is where the locals bathe and do laundry.
That’s more like it.
Time to head back down.
The crossover.
Friendly locals.
Almost down.
Back on the flat ground of Barretto.
And safely ensconced in Dynamite Dick’s.

I couldn’t stay long at Dick’s because I had a dart league match to attend.

My teammates Kevin and Mark. Collectively, we beat our opponent from Adam’s bar 11-2. I’d deem that a successful afternoon of darts.

After the match at our home bar, Lagoon, I stayed on in Baloy for a while. A couple of beers at Johan’s and dinner at Da’ Kudos. I went home early feeling no pain. I guess that’s gonna be the way of Wednesdays for the foreseeable future.

One of the Angeles Hashers posted a graphic from his fitness app showing that he has averaged over 5K daily for the past year. He said he doubted anyone could top that. I said hold my beer:

I’m up over 11K on average per day. I’m not bragging though, that is well short of my daily goal. I actually measure my walks in steps, with a target of 20K a day. I’m averaging just shy of 17,000 for the past year.

Still, maybe I need to get a life. Or a girlfriend.

A “real” girl if you please.

Give me a beer, I’m firsty

Darts night at Alley Cats. We haven’t had enough for doubles in quite a while, but last night we drew partners. It’s called “the luck of the draw” and the consensus was I drew lucky when I got Nancy as my partner. That was certainly my view as well. Nancy has been playing great darts and is certainly all I can handle when we meet face-to-face. So, on paper at least, we were the team to beat.

There’s a reason we play the games though. In our first match on the night, we got knocked into the loser’s bracket. I played my usual roller coaster game and I don’t recall ever seeing Nancy throw so poorly. Hey, it happens. Sometimes when you are expected to win it creates a kind of pressure to perform that can be detrimental to the quality of your game. Conversely, when no one thinks you have a chance there is a calming effect where you just let the darts fly without a care or worry. I know I tend to throw better when I don’t give a shit about the outcome.

Anyway, we fought our way back through the loser’s bracket, defeated the team that put us there, and made it to the finals. Nancy started throwing better and I did my share of positive contributions along the way, so we were primed and ready. To win we had to beat Kevin and Dorie twice. We took the first match 2-0. They won the first leg of the second match, we won the second leg, so it all came down to one last game. They won the coin toss and chose 501. I prefer cricket which is probably why they picked 501. We played it out in a back and forth battle, but in the end, we hit the outshot and took home first place money.

Good times!

Wednesday Walkers group hike this morning and dart league this afternoon. Another busy day which is why I’m doing this post now. I don’t like having to rush around after the hike, but that’s the story of my Wednesday life since I agreed to join the dart league.

I’ll be back!

Happy trails to you

I am happy to report that everyone survived yesterday’s Hash. No one was injured or irretrievably lost. That’s always been my goal as a Hare. As expected, the feedback from many of the Hashers was they were surprised the trail was so difficult with a couple of notorious shortcutters serving as Hares. Mission accomplished in that regard as well!

Having marked the trail on Sunday, all that was left for us to do yesterday was to give the last-minute instructions to the Hashers and send them on their way, then wait for their return. Pubic Head (Scott) and I hung out at the Hideaway bar for a couple of beers to kill the time. The place was almost full on an early Monday afternoon. Griff, the new owner, even bought us a beer, which was nice. Scott (a Navy vet) told me a little of the history of the bar and I was surprised to learn it existed back in the old days when the Navy was here, albeit with several different names/owners over the years. Anyway, it was a nice way to spend an hour. I’ll factor this recent experience into my bar rankings next time I update.

Our On-Home was at Blue Butterfly. When we arrived some Hashers were already there, although none of them had done the whole trail. Leech My Nuggets was the first runner to complete the entire course, which is not unusual. It wasn’t a long trail (just under 6K) but those two big climbs took some time. The last person back was in at around the two-hour mark.

I also had a fine time at Blue Butterfly. The gals were all looking good, and I latched on to Joean (her spelling, not mine) who was friendly and sweet and who kept my beer bottles full. I’m going to maybe have to start visiting BB more often.

Here are some more pictures from the trail and On-Home:

Best trail ever! Well, this week anyway.
The first mark is done.
My fellow Hares, Pubic Head and Blow My Pipe, are NOT rummaging through roadside trash…they are drawing an arrow…
Working it! I was the paper boy.
Marking some barbed wire with toilet tissue to make it more visible…
Pubic Head taking a breather after the second climb…
Some last-minute guidance before sending them out on trail.
And they’re off!
Leech My Nuggets is one of the few Hashers in our kennel who actually runs the trail…
Lovely Filipinas in the wild.
What goes up must come down.
So sweet. That’s Rona upfront in the white t-shirt. She was a Hash virgin yesterday, but I took part in the defloration ritual. She’s a real cutie, that’s for sure.
Hash maniacs. Leech My Nuggets, Bum Burgler, Blow My Pipe, and Vienna Sausage.
Well, our large gathering in the outdoor area of Blue Butterfly attracted the attention of the city health authorities. I’m not sure what they told the owner, but she moved us all inside. Typical non-sense, it was safer for everyone outdoors, but I guess the appearance is the main thing.
During the Hash circle all the waitresses were given a drink…provided they took a seat on the ice!
Another Hash birthday cake.

Anyway, it was a good Hash day. Started drinking early though and after the Hash had a couple of more at It Doesn’t Matter. Then on the way home had the trike driver take me to Jollibee for a burger and a sundae. Fuck the diet!

I stole this quote from the internet.
But this one works too!

Thanks for reading!