Swan put this collage together in celebration of my 71st birthday (she thought I was turning 72).
Apologies in advance, but today’s post is more about “me, me, me” than usual. Hey, it was the anniversary of the day I was born, so what else is there to talk about? Well, I have no great insights or epiphanies to report, but the older I get, the more I appreciate this blessing we call life. I did recall that I had been planning to kill myself for my 19th birthday with a drug overdose (I was depressed over the breakup with my girlfriend), when some friends came by unexpectedly for a surprise party, and by the end of the evening I had changed my mind and decided to choose life. One year later, I became a father, and the rest is history. I’m glad I stuck around to experience these past fifty years. What a ride it has been, and it ain’t over yet!
And the seasons they go round and round And the painted ponies go up and down We're captive on the carousel of time We can't return we can only look Behind from where we came And go round and round and round In the circle game
Here is some of how I celebrated my birthday:
My gifts included three new t-shirts:
A legend in my own mind anyway.It even has my name on the back!
The second shirt:
And even on those three days, I only drink on two occasions: when I’m alone or when I’m with someone.
And the third shirt:
Front side……and backside.Of course, I’m retired, and every day is Friday now.
So, I decided to have my birthday meal at my favorite restaurant, Texas Joe’s on SBMA. That required a Jeepney ride and a longish walk on a rainy day, but hey, I’m worth it.
We made it!The food and ambiance here are great.I couldn’t resist the half-rack of baby back ribs, even if they did set me back 1060 pesos ($17.)Swan had the “chopped” pork (the menu says pulling the pork makes it lose flavor). It was tasty too.
Then I was surprised when the waitresses brought a brownie à la mode with a candle to the table and sang me a happy birthday song (you can see it in the short video posted up top).
Then we hopped on our horses and headed back to Barretto. Actually, we took a taxi.
We got dropped off at Red Bar and began the beer portion of the birthday celebration there. I got a kick out of what the waitresses call my new favorite beer, San Miguel Extra Light: “Would you like an XL, sir John?” Why yes, yes I would!
Scott messaged asking where we were, and then came and joined us for a bit at Red Bar. He’s also a fan of the new XL brew.
When we were ready for a change of scenery, Swan and I moved on to Rum Jungle. I was happy to see that they were also serving XL, although our waitress hadn’t thought to call it that. I even got gifted a free one for my birthday! Then we finished our night out at Wet Spot.
Jack, Scott, and Jim came to Wet Spot, and the party was on! Jim bought a round of whiskey shots, but luckily we stopped at one each.
I even stayed out after 8 pm for the first time in a long time. But all good things must come to an end, and we still made it home by 9. It was definitely the best birthday I’ve had this year!
I hope you’ll indulge my vanity as I take a stroll through the years:
1957 with my older brother Keith Randall and baby brother Gregory Lee. Damn, I couldn’t believe how hot that photographer was!1960, and we are out roughing it in the desert with my dad’s Jeep pickup truck.1970, escorting my grandmother at brother Keith’s wedding.1973, a senior at Westminster High School.1974, camping out in Southern California.1976, taking care of business.1978, with my kids and first wife in Prescott, Arizona.1979, spending some time with JRR Tolkien.1982, visiting the love of my life in Pocatello, Idaho, before she broke my heart.1985, the first time I turned 30.1987, my first assignment as a Human Resources Director in Roanoke, Virginia.2004: Exploring Turkish culture in Istanbul.2008, Director, Human Resources Management, 8th US Army, Seoul, Korea.2012, retired and living in Columbia, South Carolina. Who knew I was God’s gift to women?2013: smoking and drinking.2014, another drunken night in Itaewon.2015, a fat and happy darter.2017, reemployed in my old job with 8th Army.2018, the last time I saw my kids.2019, enjoying the retired life in the Philippines.2020: a Hashy birthday.2025, my walkaholic life.What a long, strange trip it’s been.
Alrighty, I reckon that dead horse has been beaten enough.
Onward in the August 2021 LTG archives with a post about an encounter with Julica during one of our Wednesday Walkers group hikes. Julica was one of the first gals I crushed on when I moved to the Philippines. I dodged a bullet, but she lost an opportunity.
For today’s YouTube video, let’s take a quick tour of Luzon, the beautiful island in the Philippines where I reside. I’ve not been to all of these places yet, but I like what I’ve seen so far.
Laugh or not, here they come:
Maybe his advice was don’t take my advice.He probably is too.Well, as long as the beer is cold and there are no strings attached…
Again, I apologize for the torturous selfishness of this post. Then again, y’all must be used to that by now. Let’s see what tomorrow brings.
I’ll leave you with some of my favorite birthday songs:
I’ve mentioned before the struggles I’ve been undergoing as I continue my journey through the uncharted waters of my seventies. Usually, I can turn off my brain, or at least drown it out with copious amounts of San Miguel Zero. But then those nights I can’t sleep soundly come around.
Like last night.
Lying there in bed, my mind inevitably starts traveling back to the past, reminding me of what I had and what I lost. My preference is just to let it go, or sometimes fantasize about what I might do to change things should I be granted a “do-over life.” Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Anyway, last night the struggle with my brain revolved around how disconnected I’ve become. I rarely hear from my children, and it’s been years since I’ve had contact with my two brothers. Long-time friends have also disappeared. I guess this is one of the consequences for choosing to live out what remains of my life on the other side of the world, far away from friends and family.
But here’s the thing. I don’t miss the vanilla American lifestyle I left behind and can’t imagine living in the nation of my birth again. I miss the people I’ve loved, even if it feels like they no longer love me. They’ve chosen to go their own way, just as I have chosen to go mine. Life goes on until it doesn’t.
Somewhat coincidentally (I was checking to make sure I hadn’t used this post title before), I found something I had written in 2008 expressing sentiments similar to what I’ve been feeling now. Back then, I was reflecting on my life after three years in Korea, lamenting what that had cost me, yet I was still unwilling to change course. That’s where I’m at today as well. The mistake I want to avoid this time is getting trapped in regrets over what I’ve lost and forgetting to embrace the good in the life I have.
So, as unconnected as I might be, I have my routines to fill the hours. Yes, they are mostly mundane and meaningless, but I enjoy them and will do my best to continue living the best life an elderly man can hope for. Let’s see how that works out for me.
And there’s no going back, so I’m taking the future one day at a time.
Take yesterday, for example. My new driver, Bong, who is a friend of Swans, arrived promptly at eight in the morning for my weekly grocery shopping excursion. There was an additional stop at the immigration office to extend my visa, and that went without issue. Then it was on to the Filipino supermarket, YBC, to stock up on the week’s candies and treats. Checking out can be a very frustrating experience, as I was reminded once again. It seemed to take forever for the woman in front of me to get her groceries squared away and paid for (she had them in three piles to be rung up separately. And then it took a long time for her card payment to go through. I stood by patiently, reciting my mantra, “take a deep breath, relax, and accept the Filipino way.” It’s not vanilla here; sometimes it’s a rocky road.
Royal is a comparatively American shopping experience, so there is usually nothing much to get upset about. My only issue was at checkout, when the cashier tried to entice me to buy eco-bags for my groceries instead of the cardboard boxes that are the usual method. When I declined the bags, she said the boxes were unavailable. I responded by pointing to the customer who was ringing out several aisles away, using boxes. Then the cashier disappeared for several minutes, presumably in search of boxes. Meanwhile, one of the baggers came by with boxes sufficient for my grocery load. The cashier eventually returned and began ringing up my purchases. Maybe it was my imagination, or perhaps she is just incompetent, but damn, it seemed like she was moving in slow motion. Anyway, if that’s all I have to complain about, I’m living a charmed life indeed.
Back home, I was feeling lazy and skipped the usual afternoon neighborhood hike. At beer o’clock, Swan and I made our way to Barretto and paid our monthly visit to my old darts bar, Alley Cats. I was reminded of how disconnected I’ve become from my former darting life. It’s still nice to see the familiar faces occasionally, though.
After Alley Cats, we crossed the highway for some dinner at the Outback Fish and Chips diner. We’ve had takeout from there in the past, but this is the first time we’ve actually sat down to eat there.
It’s an open-air joint, which I like. This is the view from our table.I’d been craving fish and chips for some reason. This is the mahi-mahi version, which I prefer to the standard dory variety. I wasn’t disappointed.
I had a 500 peso voucher from the final SOB for Whiskey Girl, so that’s where we headed next. At first, they declined to accept the voucher, saying they were no longer a member of the SOB. I was livid, saying this prize was given to me at the last event, and their refusal to honor it was tantamount to fraud. I was ready to walk out without paying for the drinks I had ordered when manager Mick interceded, saying he would accept the coupon but still claimed it should not have been given. So, I had four beers for free (one glass of wine I paid for) and left.
Then, we once again crossed the highway and popped into the newest bar in town, Gold Bar. We were warmly greeted by the manager and took our seats. I was a little surprised to see that I knew our waitress, Lydell, whom I first met at Snackbar several years ago. A little later, neighbors Jeff and Davina joined us. I didn’t take any photos, but Gold Bar is a clean, well-lit place —the kind I appreciate when I’m drinking inside. There is a pool table in the back and a small stage where four dancers were performing their swaying routine last night. They were attractive (i.e., not fat) by Barretto standards. It was a pleasant enough nightcap venue, and on those occasions we are visiting this side of town, we’ll pay them another visit.
Not bad for a Tuesday, eh? Except for the part about not being able to get a good night’s sleep.
Oh, I’ve often wondered why Filipinos don’t speak Spanish, despite being under Spain’s rule for four hundred years. This article explains what happened.
Moving on to February 2015 in the LTG archives, and this post about one of my best days as a darter brought back some nice memories.
A fifteen dart out in 501, the best I’ve ever thrown. The pros can do it in twelve, but they don’t use aiming fluid (beer).
Three years ago, I was still enjoying my visit to Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
What’s not to like?
In today’s YouTube video, a white girl (or, more likely, an AI-generated image of one) shares her first experience in a Manila grocery store. She encounters the variety of snacks and flavors the locals enjoy. It is short, so bite your tongue and try to enjoy it.
And now let’s move on to the funny business:
Don’t ask me, I’m just a grammar spammer.IOU for this one.Puns can be killers.
That’s all I’ve got. Sorry for going a tad off the rails today, but that’s what happens sometimes.
Here’s the down and dirty on how I spent what the locals call All Souls’ Day.
As is our custom, we kicked off our Sunday with a Sweets Stroll.
Damn, dying at forty is sad. Filling the void with some sweet goodness.
Speaking of goodness, Swan made me a meat pie for lunch:
She’s a natural in the kitchen, and being with a Brit for many years expanded her repertoire.
But the feeding wasn’t over, I still had the Hideaway gals to tend to.
You are welcome!Down the hatch!
But wait, there’s more. At John’s place across the highway, I rendezvoused with Swan, who had just returned from family time at the cemetery in remembrance of her mother.
The dinnertime sky view from John’s.This should come as no surprise to regular readers.Bulgogi hit the spot for me.
After our meal, we ventured out to Red Bar and met up with the neighbors.
We usually sit outside, but Jeff was craving the aircon.
Swan said she saw on Facebook that there was live music at Jumpin’ Jacks starting at 7 pm. So, off we went. When the music didn’t start as scheduled, Davina graciously helped fill the void.
Thanks for that performance!It was almost eight before the scheduled act took the stage. That’s awfully close to my bedtime, so we didn’t stay for much of the show.
And that’s all there was to the day, but it was still blessed. I hope there are many more to come.
From the January 2015 LTG archives is a tribute to my mother on the fourth anniversary of her passing. Gone but never forgotten.
Mom’s life was not an easy one, but in the end, her thoughts were only about the power of love. She urged us to love and to be loved because that was all that really mattered.
And Facebook also flooded me with memories from this day in 2018, during my last visit to the USA. We rented a place for the weekend at Seven Devils, North Carolina, nestled in the Appalachian Mountains.
It was the last time I experienced snowfall.And the sunsets were amazing.It was also the last time I saw my children.Nothing lasts forever.
Life doesn’t always go the way we planned. You just live the life you have and make the best of it. Looking back still makes me sad sometimes.
Speaking of looking back, today’s YouTube video is about growing up in the baby boom generation. Those were some sweet memories. I’m glad I got to experience life the way it was. I’m also happy to be living life the way it is, but the clock is ticking for us boomers.
And now let me offer you these tidbits of wisdom that may be worthy of a smile or two:
What did she say?I’m fucking trying to get it write.Who gives a shit?
There you go. I hope you got what you came for. It’s Hash Monday and I’ll be hitting the trail again this afternoon. When I say “the trail,” I mean “my trail.” I’ve decided that making the effort to reach the official start at the end of Rizal Extension isn’t worth the hassle, especially since I’m not a fan of the previous trails by today’s Hare. Damn, the older I get, the more inclined I am to say, “Fuck it. I’ll do it my way.”
I heard this song as background music last night. It had been a long time since the last time it tickled my senses. In my old-man style, I sent myself a message with the song’s name so I’d remember it today.
This is the day Of the expanding man That shape is my shade There where I used to stand It seems like only yesterday I gazed through the glass At ramblers Wild gamblers That's all in the past
You call me a fool You say it's a crazy scheme This one's for real I already bought the dream So useless to ask me why Throw a kiss and say goodbye I'll make it this time I'm ready to cross that fine line
I wrote this as a reader’s submission on the StickmanBangkok website back in April 2017. Stickman is going away, so I wanted to preserve it here, even if it didn’t age well.
A little background. In November 2015, I made my first submission to Stickman entitled “Regarding Korean Women“. One month later, my Korean wife bailed on our marriage, saying only, “I no have happy life with you”. I was devastated, and went on a two-month drink binge. Then I changed my mind about drinking myself to death and went on a diet and exercise program, losing 60 pounds so far. I’m feeling and looking better than I have for years, but my heart remains a mass of scar tissue.
Prior to meeting the Korean woman who became my wife, I was well on my way to finalizing my plans to retire in the Subic Bay area in September 2010. After falling in love, I had to make a choice. And I chose love over the PI. I moved back to the USA, bought a house, a car, furniture, and lived the American dream. I was retired and we’d spend 6 months in the States, and 6 months in Korea. Three years into this routine, the wife declined to come back to America with me. So I found a job in Korea and came back to her. And it turned out she wasn’t happy about that. Never expected I’d be alone again at 60 years old.
Nothing to do but pick up the pieces and move forward. In an odd twist of fate, I wound up getting promoted back into the job I had retired from in 2010. The pay is great, but my heart really isn’t into it. And now I’m planning to re-retire in September and move to Subic. It’s like déjà vu all over again! Only I’ve lost seven fxxking years of my life in the interim.
I’ve sold the house and everything I own in the USA (at a significant loss) and have no intention of ever going back there. Korea is too full of painful memories, and I’m ready to move on to the next chapter (the final chapter?) of my life. I’ll start in the PI, and if that doesn’t work out, I’m inclined to give Cambodia a try.
But this post is about love. Or more precisely, how I’m done with love. After the split with the wife, I started cruising the dating websites. I was pretty good at ferreting out the scammers (having been scammed a time or two back in the day). Met a couple that I thought had potential and spent a lot of time chatting on Skype. The first was Maria, and she wound up scaring the hell out of me by professing her undying love before we had even met. I kept telling her to back up and slow down as I was nowhere ready to go to the being in love place. We met up in March in Cebu / Mactan and had a good time together. I promised to see her again for her birthday in June. This time we met in her hometown on Samal Island. Again, I enjoyed her company but was unwilling and unable to return the love she wanted to share. Finally, as an act of mercy, I ended it with her. Felt bad about her pain, but the truth is, it was self-inflicted. I warned her and warned her about the love thing. I just wasn’t willing to do that.
Then a friend introduced me to a Korean woman. Now, I had sworn off Korean women (pretty on the outside, cold as ice inside). But she got under my skin. I took her to visit the Angeles / Subic area in September. She enjoyed her visit but was put off by my plans to retire there. She asked me, “Who would want to live in a poor country?” She was also not happy with the old men parading their young Pinay beauties down the street. Suffice to say, things ended badly with her. And that’s when I finally knew I was truly and forever done with love. I’m just too old for that shit.
Meanwhile, I had continued to have irregular communication with one of the first gals I met on FilipinaCupid. I liked her because she was smart and could actually carry on an interesting conversation. I would have preferred meeting Loraine over Maria to begin with, but Loraine had confessed to having a guy in the States sending her support, so I backed away. After the Korean gal ended the relationship, I got in touch with Loraine again. Turns out she was in a long-distance, but unfulfilling relationship with some sad sack back in the States. Didn’t matter to me; I wasn’t looking for love anyway, and I still enjoyed our chats.
Loraine had been an OFW (overseas Filipino Worker) in Hong Kong, Saudi Arabia, and Vietnam. The Vietnam job had ended badly, and she was back in the PI, unemployed, and, because of her age, basically unemployable. So, I had made plans to visit Puerto Galera over the 2017 New Year holiday. Loraine had spent quite a bit of time there, and since I enjoyed her company online, I figured I might like her in person as well. I offered her a job as a tour guide, and she accepted.
We got on quite well during the trip, and I was glad I’d brought her along. Especially when I wound up sick and she was able to provide the TLC I needed. Which gave me an idea. Why not hire her full-time as my personal assistant/caregiver to take care of my needs when I move to the PI?
So, I made her a job offer. Monday-Friday, paid holidays and vacations, outstanding pay and benefits, including room and board. Her job would be to do all things a girlfriend/wife might do. I simply want companionship without all the bullshit that comes from a “loving” relationship. Loraine did not hesitate to accept my offer and appears excited about the opportunity.
Will it work? Who knows. I’ve already advised her that falling in love with me or any other overt indications of jealousy or similar behaviors would be grounds for termination. She’s been warned. And since she is an employee, I won’t be bothered with all those requests to support the family; that’s what her paycheck is for.
I think it’s a good concept that gives me what I want and need with relatively minimal risk. It will be interesting to see if the theory plays out in practice. We recently completed a successful ten-day test run during an exploratory house-hunting trip to Subic. I’ve put her on a retainer (1/2 salary) pending my move in September. She’s using this time to attend massage training and caregiver school.
I think I may have found the perfect alternative to love and all its baggage. Can I actually pull it off? Stay tuned!
No, I didn’t go crazy and flee. I didn’t get screwed either. It’s just that after all these years, coming up with an original post title is increasingly difficult. My first thought was “stuff about things,” but when I did a search, I saw that I’ve used that five times over the years. So, nuts and bolts it is!
All the damn time.
The pending arrival of my seventieth year has been on my mind a lot lately. It’s a milestone I suppose I never thought I’d live to see. But here I am. I’m sure I’ll get used to these emotions I’ve been feeling, but damn, turning another page in the story of my life feels like the start of the final chapter. I’m hopeful it will be a LONG one!
Anyway, it is easy to forget that I’m an elderly man because I don’t feel old. I often joke and say in response to the “age is just a number” line that I’m thirty years old. Honestly, I don’t feel all that old, but something about seventy just can’t be denied. That said, I’m still doing the things I enjoy such as walking and drinking pretty much like I always have, although maybe in somewhat smaller doses. The biggest change I’ve noted is the cognitive decline, especially in terms of memory and attention span. I guess if that continues, at some point I won’t know or care about it.
We never know how much time we have left, and everything can change in the blink of an eye. I was reminded of that while walking this morning. We were on SBMA, and I was walking facing traffic on a narrow elevated footpath. This being the Philippines, there was a power pole blocking the sidewalk in front of me, so I stepped into the road to move around it. Then I hear a horn blow and a car goes racing past inches away from me as it illegally passed a vehicle in the other lane. Damn, that was close. I yelled a hearty “fuck you!” and flipped him the bird. So, I haven’t made seventy yet. Here’s hoping!
Honestly, I have a sweet woman who loves me, and maybe that’s all the gold I need.
Beckie, ex-wife number two, posted this on Facebook yesterday (yes, we are still Facebook friends):
Fable: DON’T ARGUE WITH DONKEYS
The donkey said to the tiger:
– “The grass is blue”.
The tiger replied:
– “No, the grass is green.”
The discussion heated up, and the two decided to submit him to arbitration, and for this they went before the lion, the King of the Jungle.
Already before reaching the forest clearing, where the lion was sitting on his throne, the donkey began to shout:
– “His Highness, is it true that the grass is blue?”.
The lion replied:
– “True, the grass is blue.”
The donkey hurried and continued:
– “The tiger disagrees with me and contradicts and annoys me, please punish him.”
The king then declared:
– “The tiger will be punished with 5 years of silence.”
The donkey jumped cheerfully and went on his way, content and repeating:
– “The Grass Is Blue”…
The tiger accepted his punishment, but before he asked the lion:
– “Your Majesty, why have you punished me?, after all, the grass is green.”
The lion replied:
– “In fact, the grass is green.”
The tiger asked:
– “So why are you punishing me?”.
The lion replied:
– “That has nothing to do with the question of whether the grass is blue or green.
The punishment is because it is not possible for a brave and intelligent creature like you to waste time arguing with a donkey, and on top of that come and bother me with that question.”
The worst waste of time is arguing with the fool and fanatic who does not care about truth or reality, but only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste time on arguments that don’t make sense…
There are people who, no matter how much evidence and evidence we present to them, are not in the capacity to understand, and others are blinded by ego, hatred and resentment, and all they want is to be right even if they are not.
When ignorance screams, intelligence is silent. Your peace and quietness are worth more.
The obvious moral of the story is to ignore the libtard’s rants. But during the ten years I was married to Beckie, I was a Democrat and she wasn’t. That wasn’t at the root of our breakup or anything, and I don’t recall us arguing over politics much. But it did start me thinking about those years we shared and how we came to be together in the first place.
I first met Beckie during one of my visits to the farm in Poteau, Oklahoma, to see my kids who were staying there with my parents. I attended a gathering hosted by my brother’s then-wife, and Beckie was there as well. My girlfriend back in Arizona was going to graduate school to be a speech pathologist. That was Beckie’s profession, so we talked about her work. Later, I was introduced to the man who had been smilingly watching us from across the room–Beckie’s husband.
Anyway, fast forward a year or two, and I took a job in the nearby city of Fort Smith, Arkansas. One day, Beckie’s husband was clearing the road to their house and was killed when the tractor he was operating flipped over, leaving a widow and baby daughter behind.
Another year or two went by, and I was looking for a partner to help me raise my kids. Beckie filled the bill, and I married her. I got promoted at work and we moved to South Carolina shortly thereafter. She did a great job with my kids and is still actively involved in their lives as a loving grandmother. She is one of the nicest people I’ve met in this lifetime. She deserved better than my cheating ways and found it after our divorce. So, there you have another episode in the story of my life.
Speaking of which, I came across this article talking about Plato solving the problem of evil. The concepts taxed my weary brain, but the ideas about the multiverse and how all the paths you did or didn’t take in life have been lived out by you in a different universe gave me some hope that my dream of a “do-over” life may be within the realm of possibility, God willing, of course.
Well, thanks to my hiking routines and this here blog, I almost always know what day it is.
Yesterday was Thursday, and Swan and I did our own little walk. Taking advantage of rainless skies (that didn’t last), we braved taking the back way up to the My Bitch trail and had a pleasant stroll through the hills.
The cloudy skies didn’t let go of their water until we were safely back home.A tree I liked.That girl I like more than any tree.Started to the left and circled around for a pleasant 4.5K journey.
Another plan for my dotage years is to take a trip out of town at least once every month. I’m set for Angeles City in September. Swan wants to go back to Pundaquit in October. And yesterday I booked flights and hotel rooms for Siragao Island at the end of November. That trip will include all the neighbors here on Bryce Street.
When beer o’clock arrived, Swan wanted a massage, so I chilled in Alley Cats for an hour. I was the only customer during my visit. When Swan was done getting rubbed, we met at Mango’s for dinner. Yep, we stuck with the pork chops like we always do.
A rainy bay view from Mango’s.
After dinner, we moseyed up the highway to Queen Victoria for our nightcap. They had a pool tourney going on, so we weren’t the only customers this time. Queen Vic is hosting tonight’s SOB, and although it is an excellent venue for the show, I’m going to take a pass this time.
The view from our table at QV.The old man and the Swan.
Steven King has always been one of my favorite writers, although his political views are more than a little off-putting. Never noticed his leftism in his books, but then, I used to be one, so maybe it seemed normal then. Anyway, he posted something on X mocking Trump’s grammar. Turns out, King’s was just as bad. Maybe he needs to sign up for Kevin Kim’s Substack.
In the LTG archives from February 2012, I recount the adventure of climbing Bukhansan in Seoul. This was before hiking became my daylight pastime.
Today’s YouTube has a 70-year-old expat sharing some of the lessons he’s learned now that he is elderly. I can relate.
Humor never gets old. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
But what about in your do-over life?I’ve been reading that an alien spacecraft is rumored to be heading our way and is expected to arrive in November. Maybe we can invite them for Thanksgiving, just as the Native Americans did for the Pilgrims.We can always cuddle…
And that’s all I’ve got to say about that. For today, anyway.
Today is the anniversary of my retirement and move to the Philippines seven years ago. If things go as I hope they do, I’ll celebrate my 70th birthday later this year. So, there is no denying that I’m in the midst of the final chapter of my life, and I hope to make the most of it. I don’t recall having any real expectations when I made the move, and although I’ve had my share of disappointments, I don’t have any regrets about the decision to make the Philippines my home.
I still spend a lot of time dwelling on the past, which may not be a healthy thing to do, but in a weird way, remembering what I was, and what I had and lost, and all the things that led me to this moment in time are sometimes painful, yet somehow comforting. I can’t adequately describe the kaleidoscope of feelings looking back brings me, but I almost feel as if I’m in an afterlife and seeing my past lives from an otherworldly perspective. Perhaps this is my purgatory.
I wrote a post about my final day in Korea here. In that post, I quoted something I had written in January 2005, before changing my world forever when I decided to leave my American life behind.
I never really had a plan for life, I just reacted to it. Whenever I reached a crossroads, I chose a direction and followed the road without a clue as to where it might take me. I guess it is natural to wonder about the paths that would have led to a different life, but you only get to live the life you chose. No mulligans. But I have been extremely fortunate and blessed. The roads I have taken have led to some great adventures and life-altering experiences. A fool’s luck perhaps, but even though I could never have imagined what my life would turn out to be, it has been a very nice ride. So it is time to look forward again. And it will be an adventure with an uncertain outcome for sure.
I reckon that is as true now as it ever was. And it occurs to me that I’ve been blessed with a multitude of lives within my lifetime. Here are some of them off the top of my head:
My California life
My Arizona life
My Oklahoma/Arkansas life (I lived on both sides of the border)
My South Carolina life
My Virginia/DC life (lived in Virginia, worked in DC)
My Korea life
My Philippine life
And within those lives, there was a multitude of others: growing up, working, parenting, four marriages, and other relationships and adventures. At one time, I began to explore some of these in a series of posts here called “One Lifetime, Many Lives”. Perhaps I’ll find the motivation to complete that effort before I die.
Anyway, nothing else to do but hang on and see what happens next. In the meantime, here is the first post I wrote after arriving in the Philippines. I had to smile at the mention of Jessa, who worked at Treasure Island, where I stayed my first few days. We did wind up dating briefly, but I managed to fuck it up. We are still friends, though, and I’m glad for that.
If you are a regular reader, you know my life is not much more than daily walks and nightly beers, with some occasional travel in the mix. I’m sure it gets boring to read about, but I enjoy it. One of my goals when I moved here was for my presence to make a difference in some small way for the less fortunate who surround me. I feel good about some successes I’ve had in that regard. My biggest project in terms of cash outlay is supporting a widow with three kids born to an American father who couldn’t be bothered with securing their citizenship before he died. I also sponsor a student in Bohol who regularly makes the Honor Roll at his school and, hopefully, is destined to escape the poverty of his family’s life. I am also helping Maria, the gal I dated briefly when she was eighteen, as she attends college. I’ve got a full-time helper who has been with me from the beginning of my time here and earns a generous living wage. And of course, I’m supplementing the salary of bargirls through the generosity of the lady drinks I provide. Hey, every little bit helps!
And there you have my anniversary reflections and the rare LTG post with a semblance of substance.
Tomorrow is election day here in the PI, and Filipinos are not allowed to consume alcohol starting today. Most Barretto bars are open for the foreigners they cater to, but I moved my Sunday routines to Saturday just to be on the safe side.
I did the feeding at Hideaway, even though they are open today (closed tomorrow). Then it was off to the floating bar to meet Swan.
The beach was not nearly as crowded as it had been the past few weeks.Only one other customer besides Swan and me.The sun upon arrival.The sun a couple of beers later.
We got hungry and impatient waiting for the sun to put on the endo of the show, so we headed back to shore.
From the beach, we got to see the rare rising moon……and the setting sun sharing the same sky.
Then, it was off to John’s place for some dinner. Once again, we shared:
After our meal, we stopped at Red Bar for a bit, then finished the evening with a nightcap at Wet Spot.
By the way, I didn’t forget about the Saturday Sweet Stroll, but how much more can I say about that weekly event that you haven’t seen or heard numerous times? Well, there was this:
Nothing special about this tree; it was just my first attempt at pinning something on Google Maps.And there you have it. Now what?
I also did a video clip of the final neighborhood on the Saturday Stroll:
As my trek through the archives of LTG continues, I came upon another anniversary, or should I say, blogaversary. The third year of my blogging efforts was in December 2007. Sadly interesting were the comments of wife #3 and my step-daughter, Avery. One more episode in The Story of My Life.
Facebook memories for today:
Four years ago, I knew what the ignorant were denying.Five years ago, I was calling out the Nazis who were revealing themselves during the scamdemic. I had one now former friend disclose the location of a speakeasy I’d found where I could enjoy some beers during lockdown. The fucker recognized something in the background of a photo I posted, and named and shamed the venue. What a cunt!Seven years ago, I left the 8th Army Headquarters building for the last time.Also, I flew business class seven years ago to my new life in the Philippines.
Today’s YouTube video takes a slightly different twist on the reasons why the Philippines attracts expats. As I was searching for where I might spend my retirement years, I ultimately chose the Philippines for two reasons: the friendliness of the locals emphasized in this video, and also, that English is commonly spoken here. The cost of living is another positive, although I disagree that most hospitals provide quality and value. I’m glad I found an excellent doctor I can trust, though.
And bad humor is better than none, or so I keep telling myself:
Damn, I hate when that happens!My wife #3 said the kidney stone hurt more than childbirth.Lifting those twelve-ounce weights every day helps.
And now to get on with year number eight. It occurred to me that Swan won’t be able to drink in any of the open bars. She suggested I have some “me time” tonight, so I reckon that’s what I’ll do. I’ll let you know how that works out tomorrow.
Until next year. Anyway, not a bad day on trail. We left Alta Vista and took the back way through the hills to the start of the Hash on Rizal Extension. From there, we did a steep stair climb almost to the top of the Kalaklan Ridge, then meandered through the woods to the On-Home at Tiny Cunts house at the far end of Rizal Extension. The problem is getting back from there after the Hash. My solution was to leave at the beginning of the Hash circle and walk back down the road before nightfall. That worked out just fine, and we chilled at It Doesn’t Matter until it was time to call it a day and head home. Here are a few photos from the adventure:
Heading out, I came upon the proverbial fork in the road. I didn’t take it.Arriving at the meet-upLet the climbing commence!First cookie delivery of the dayOn and on we climbed the uneven stepsThe steps were done but not the uphill climbIf a tree falls on your roof and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?Through the woods we goNature’s litter is much more pleasant than the human kindTwo options: Over or under the barbed wire.I guess whoever was building here got tired of the climb and said, “fuck this!”On the levelWeird to see Christmas wrapping paper discarded out in the wildernessWalking the wallThe Rizal Extension portion of the hikeA little over 5K from start to finish
Hash Monday is a difficult day to stayed focused on the diet plan.
That second helping of pudding put me over the top. Hey, the New Year is coming. I’m resolved to do better!
I was born in 1955 and I’m still booming like there is no tomorrow:
Why yes, yes we are!
And next time I visit Korea, you can call me Kang, Gun Hyo.
Today’s installment in The Story of My Life comes from my brief reflections regarding my final day at work back on December 30, 2010. My big insight on that day was this:
But I’m going to make sure this is merely the transition time between adventures. Or go crazy. One of those.
Maybe I am crazy, but it occurs to me now that life is always just one big transition. I suppose that state of perpetual transition might on occasion include adventure. More often it just hurts.
Back then, I didn’t have a clue about the heartbreak that would befall me the following year. And that ultimately led me to a new life in the Philippines. The only way to find out what comes next is to live it. I’m going to keep at that task for as long as possible.
Now at last I have come to see what life is, Nothing is ever ended, everything only begun, And the brave victories that seem so splendid Are never really won.
Even love that I built my spirit’s house for, Comes like a brooding and a baffled guest, And music and men’s praise and even laughter Are not so good as rest. ― Sara Teasdale
At least I’m not a loser like the one in today’s YouTube video. Get a grip, dude. Yeah, I dislike things about the PI (primarily litter and noise), but the good far outweighs the bad. If I didn’t think that was the case, I would get the fuck out, not post whiny-ass YouTube rants about it.
Laughter helps:
You can’t tell by my posts, but I do care and I am at least tryingto do better.I worked at Blinky’s Pizza in Westminster, California, back in my high school daze. And yes, we kneaded the dough. The bread they paid me was minimum wage.And that’s why I could never be a doctor…
So, today’s post is coming to you from Mope Beach Resort in beautiful barangay La Paz, San Narciso. I didn’t have a plan for this; I just wanted to welcome the New Year by doing something different. So, we packed our bags and had the driver drop us down the road after grocery shopping. And here we are! I’ll let you know how it goes down tomorrow.
It was twenty years ago today when Long Time Gone was born into the blogosphere. What a ride it has been! Of course, things seldom go as planned, but I had no clue at the time that the journey I was about to embark on would completely and irrevocably change everything and lead me to places beyond my wildest imagination. In my “do-over” afterlife fantasy, there are many things I would change, but making the move to Korea and leaving my vanilla American life behind forever is not one of them. Here’s what I had to say twenty years ago in my first blog post, “And So It Begins”:
I’m moving to Seoul, Korea. Although the general consensus among family and friends is that I’ve lost my mind (which I don’t necessarily deny), this is something of a calling for me. One of my biggest regrets in life was not serving in the military. My father and two brothers are Army vets. My daughter is currently serving her second tour in Afghanistan with the 82nd Airborne. I am incredibly proud of her and all our troops who are sacrificing so much to defend our freedom and to bring freedom from tyranny to others. Sitting on the sidelines watching these incredible men and women making a difference in the world has only exacerbated my desire to find some tangible way to make a contribution in support of our military. Of course, at 49 my options are somewhat limited. I have been a federal civilian employee for over 28 years, and so for the past several months I have been applying for civilian jobs with the Department of Defense. I was not selected for a position I applied for in Iraq, but the Army offered me a job in South Korea and I have accepted. I don’t presume to think that doing a civilian gig in Seoul is heroic or particularly self-sacrificing, but if in some small way I can play a part in our national defense, I am proud to do so.
Ok, that’s the altruistic reason for going, such as it is. On a more personal level, I have lived a very comfortable life. Too comfortable perhaps. The chance to live and work overseas in a totally alien culture seems to be an exciting opportunity to get out of my box and experience a new lifestyle. Yes, I am looking forward to the adventure. Of course, the nature of adventure is the not knowing how things will turn out. I know I will miss my family and friends and everything that is familiar and wonderfully American. I have made a two-year commitment to the Army, and if I am miserable and lost and lonely, well I will deal with it and learn what I can from the experience. Going in, I have a positive attitude and believe that I have the power to determine what I gain and how I grow as I live this new life.
So, this blog will serve as a diary of my life in Korea. It will be a place where I share my thoughts on what I am seeing, doing, and learning. And since I am fairly political and opinionated, there will likely be some commentary on my views on world events. I have been a blog reader since I discovered the blogosphere shortly after 9/11. This is my first attempt at writing a blog, and that will be part of the adventure I am undertaking.
My original intent when starting LTG was to have an easy way to stay in touch and share with my friends and family back home what was happening in my Korean life. These days, no one from those long ago times reads the blog or cares about me and my so-called life here in the Philippines. Everything changes, but this journey of mine still goes on until I finally reach the end of my road. And I intend to keep writing this public diary of mine even if no one cares enough to read it. I know I have a handful of loyal followers, and that means a lot to me, even if your reward is being subjected to my daily dose of drivel. Thank you!
I have occasionally fantasized about writing the story of my life. Perhaps one day, my descendants will want to learn more about that crazy relative who left everything behind and moved to Asia. In some ways, this blog fulfills that purpose. My plan now is to spend the next few months scrolling through the archives for the rare post that might be worthy of inclusion in my unwritten autobiography. I’ve created a new tag, “The story of my life,” to add to those posts so they will be easy to find in the future. And I’ll share a link to those stories with my readers as I find them.
Over the past twenty years, I have written 5,326 posts and received 17,181 comments. Happy blogiversary! I hope you’ll stick around to see what happens next.
And here’s what happened yesterday:
The morning dog walk to start the day
And then it was time for the Wednesday Walkers group hike. We took a Jeepney out to the far side of Subic and commenced our hike from there.
Out of the JeepneyAnd off we go!Leaving the city behindCatching up after a pee stopBushy grasses would be our bane for much of the hikeMostly flat, but this was a tricky downWe last came this way in March. It wasn’t so overgrown with plant life back then.Ah, the wide-open spaces!It’s so much easier to walk on the dirt road. It didn’t last long, though.Working the fieldsGraffiti, Filipino-styleVillage lifeThe road’s gone, but the grass is low for now.Lollipop deliveryPausing for the group shot. Biggest turnout we’ve had for a while.A hard-working carabaoLife on the farmMarching single fileIt held her!And then it got wet and muddyHow muddy? This muddy.We needed to cross the river, but some of us wanted a better option for doing so.Washing the mud off our shoes was an added benefitThe carabao didn’t mind us passing through his turfThat bridge most of us didn’t takeThese two gals did, thoughWell done, BethThis cow was a little freaked out seeing us pass through. At least he ran the other way instead of at us.And then there was another water crossingNo dry shoe option this timeThrough the fields we goIt seems strange to grow a crop in the riverbed, but whatever it takesSlippin’ on down to the riverAnd then wading acrossThere is freedom in wet feet–you don’t have to care anymore.Through another small villageThen back on the pavementAll the Jeepneys passing by were fullBut then we were able to flag down a passing Victory Line and rode back to Barretto in comfortJust about 6.5K from start to finish
Swan and I killed the evening hours with visits to It Doesn’t Matter and a nightcap at Wet Spot.
I made it, but just barely.
Remembering when we were a family:
Both my brothers are still alive; I just never hear from them anymore.
And now for a taste of politics:
Funny and sad how that works
In today’s YouTube video, Reekay recounts the sad tale of expat Ted. I spend more than I should and have depleted a sizeable chunk of my savings, but that monthly government pension deposit is ample to keep me living large—at least until the USA goes bankrupt. Avoiding four years of Kamala spending might be the miracle we’ve needed.
And some humor, if you please:
That kid is going places!Time to wrap it up, KirkMaybe it’s a hump too far
Anyway, here’s to hoping it will be a Long Time Gone before my blogging days are over. I ain’t in no hurry to give it up.
Don’t be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.
Richard bach
July 2010. I was scheduled to retire in September, so I traveled to the Philippines to start processing my retirement visa and look for a place to live. I did the visa paperwork in Angeles, then came to Barretto and stayed at the Arizona Resort. I had planned to be in Manila for the final couple of days to meet a gal I’d been chatting with online named Eva. And then, in the middle of the trip, everything changed. Forever. And last night, an event occurred that has me trying to remember what happened back then and why.
So, after the Sunday feeding at Hideaway, I went to The Green Room for my nightcap. I sat down and ordered my beer, and then an unfamiliar waitress approached and showed me her phone displaying the photo posted above, “Is that you?” she asked. I responded, yes, it is. Where did you get that? The waitress told me she used to work at Arizona and asked if I remembered her. I honestly told her that I did not. She gave me a few additional details about how and where we met (that’s her in the photo with me back in July of 2010), and it all started to come back to me in bits and pieces.
Her name is Anne. I met her in the Score Bar, which was on the premises at Arizona. I still don’t recall if I had barfined her (paid to have her spend the night with me) at some point during my visit, but the afternoon those pictures were taken, I was sitting in Arizona’s outdoor restaurant near the pool. I saw Anne and a couple of the other Score girls swimming and invited her to join me for lunch. I remember being sick during the trip as well. There is still a bit of a black hole as to what caused me to cancel the remainder of my stay and fly back to Korea earlier than scheduled. I recall that when I told Eva I wasn’t going to meet her in Manila after all, she cried.
Talking with Anne again last night, nearly thirteen years later, was almost surreal. It did help bring to mind my final evening of that fateful trip. I was in Score Bar and feeling ill. Anne was with me at my table. She could tell I was sick and offered to care for me that night, and I accepted. We both knew there would be no sex involved. But what I now remember was maybe the sweetest hours I’ve ever experienced with a Filipina–lying beside her while she rubbed my head and sang to me in a hauntingly beautiful voice until I fell asleep. It was magical.
We had breakfast the next morning, and then it was time for me to depart for the airport. As I hugged her goodbye, tears were streaming down her face. I guess we both knew we would never meet again. Until we did last night.
Nice to see you again, Anne. And thanks for the memories!
You may have noticed Anne’s pictures from all those years ago were from a photo album. I guess our meeting was important enough to her that she wanted to preserve the memory. The implications of that are a little too scary to contemplate, but it is touching. We are now friends on Facebook, and she sent me a couple more photos to refresh my memory.
What can I say? I have impeccable taste.Some of the crew from Score Bar. It’s long gone now.
So, this morning I went on a quest for answers as to what happened and why. I figured I must have told the story here at LTG, but I was wrong about that. Back in those days, this blog wasn’t much of a diary. There is a bunch of political crap, dart league updates, and big gaps between posts. On July 21, 2010, I had this to say:
Anyway, I am a tad disconcerted right now but I’m going to see it through and wait until I get back home to decide what the hell to do.
Not to worry, but I’ve got some kind of bug. I played darts yesterday afternoon in the Subic league (went 2-2 but should have done better) then went back to the room and went to bed. And stayed there for 14 hours (with occasional trips to the CR)
I didn’t post again until July 27, and that was about darts in Seoul, so I was home again by then. And then, on the 28th, I had this cryptic post:
Dreams die.
New dreams emerge.
It’s the freakin’ circle of life.
So, I have decided to postpone retirement until 2 January 2011.
Time to work on Plan “B”.
What the hell was going on with me? I didn’t bother even to try and answer that question until August 20:
Fact is I do start feeling guilty when I don’t take care of business here at LTG. I’ve just been pretty much without motivation for anything lately accept sitting on my lazy ass. As I’ve speculated on why that might be the best I’ve come up with is that the uncertainty of my future has left me more than a little disconcerted. And when I get to feeling this way, I tend to retreat and ignore. Tantamount to putting my hands over my ears and screaming LA LA LA! at the top of my voice.
Anyway, I make it sound worse than it is. It’s not like sitting on my lazy ass doing nothing is all that bad. Still, there are things to be done and decisions to be made and at some point I need to get on with the doing and deciding.
As folks who care know, last months trip to the Philippines was not exactly a disaster, but it didn’t go as planned either. Not only did I not find a suitable place to live, I came away questioning whether I wanted to live there period. Which kinda sorta undermined the dream I’d been pursuing for these past several years.
Upon my return from that ill-fated trip I had to postpone my retirement date and recalibrate my future plans. It was more than a little embarassing seeing as how my farewell luncheon had been scheduled and my replacement had been selected.
January 2, 2011 is the new big day. And no excuses, I will no doubt about it, unquestionably, effectuate my retirement on that date. I really mean it this time.
What I am going to do and where I will be on January 3, 2011 remains to be seen.
Stay tuned.
Well, that certainly clears things up, doesn’t it? I couldn’t find anything else to document what occurred back then, so I’ll have to rely on my Biden-like memory. This is what I *think* happened.
I had been living with Jee Yeun since sometime in 2009. She was aware of my plans to retire and live in the Philippines. She said she wanted to stay with me until I left. I agreed. The trip I made to the PI in July 2010 was in final preparation for my move after my September retirement. Looking back now, I think Jee Yeun had somehow found out about Eva and went nuts, calling me and crying her heart out. As noted above, I had been sick and was also disappointed that I hadn’t found suitable housing. And I think maybe Jee Yeun’s pleadings made me realize that she truly loved me and caused me to reevaluate my feelings for her. Anyway, something in me snapped, and I just decided to take a step back and reconsider my options.
So, I delayed my retirement, then moved back to the USA instead of the Philippines and took Jee Yeun with me. And here I am all these years later, living in the Philippines and still trying to recover from the heartbreak that flowed from that decision.
Memory Lane is chock full of potholes, that’s for sure.
One of the challenges of being in a relationship is that it throws all of your routines a little out of kilter. I feel like an old dog learning new tricks sometimes.
Wednesdays are already challenging. Had a nice, but tough, hike in the morning (photos to follow at the end of this post), then home to prepare for darts. No time for my usual nap. Then I hoofed it out to Baloy Beach where I participated in a disappointing 11-2 victory over our opponent from Johan’s. Why would I be disappointed in a lopsided win? Well, I played poorly against a weak team and one of those losses was on me. And we lost the beer round (team game) resulting in us providing a beer chit for our opponents rather than them buying one for us. No one wants to lose the beer round! Ever.
It was the first day on the new job at Hideaway bar for Joy and Jen, the former waitresses from Finger Monkeys. I wrote about their escape from their oppressive boss here. I had promised them I would come by and help them get started on the right foot with their new employer. So, after darts, I caught a trike to take me to the far side of Barretto. The bar wasn’t busy when I got there, but they said there was a large group that had just left. I bought them each a couple of lady drinks. Then Eric, another former customer of the wretched Finger Monkey bar, came in to join the celebration.
Suck it, Finger Monkey. The girls and our money are doing just fine without you.
I needed to head out early because I knew Pearl would be waiting for me at her place. She was. I was going to take her out to eat, but we decided to just order off her menu. Man, I got some honey garlic chicken wings that were fantastic! Then Pearl wanted me to sing to her. At the karaoke joint next door. Wasn’t really in the mood, but how could I say no? I did okay on my old standards, Patsy Cline’sCrazyand the Bee Gees classicI Started A Joke. It was all downhill from there. Pearl didn’t object when I told her I’d had enough after a total of four or five songs.
It was a little after 9 p.m. and I was fading fast. Pearl wasn’t ready to leave her work yet, so I told her I’d leave the gate and door unlocked at my place if she wanted to join me later. I kept my phone by the bed just in case the upstairs neighbor locked the gate while I was sleeping. Around 11, my phone rings, and I hear Pearl say “I’m here”. I jump out of bed, go outside, open the gate (which was still unlocked), and no Pearl. WTF? I came back in and texted where are you? A few minutes later her mom pulls up and drops her off. I guess she had called me from the guard shack. Oh well, it worked out okay. We had a blissful sleep.
I got up at my usual 4:30, and Pearl joined me at 6:00 or so.
She accompanied me on the dog walk and was awestruck by the beauty of the views from the neighborhood. Like Easter mountain.
We had a mediocre breakfast at a local hotel, then I told her I needed to go to Subic to get some cash from the BPI ATM. Pearl lives on the far side of Subic and said she needed to get something at her place. I suggested we go about our business and meet up later, but she said she only needed a few minutes so I agreed to meet her at Waltermart. That’s about a twenty-minute walk from the ATM. I arrived and let her know I was there. No response. I walked around the parking lot. Over and over and over. Forty minutes later I get a message that she would be arriving soon and told me to wait inside the mall for her. So, I walked the mall for another 30 minutes until she finally arrived. I was a little perturbed and she apologized profusely, so I let it go. What else am I going to do about it?
She’s at her business now. I told her I needed to go home and shower. I also needed to have some time to do a post for the blog, but I didn’t mention that part. Keeping LTG a secret from her for now at least. Hey, this is where I go to vent, right? I’m baking some brownies to take to her food place and I’m also bringing some fruit salad. Yeah, I’m going to keep her waiting a while. It’s just the kind of guy I am.
The photos for our hike yesterday:
We did the hard up climb up to Kalaklan ridge.Another record-setting turnout…A little street walking at the beginning.Let’s kick that mountain’s ass!Up we go. This was actually the same route we took on my very first Hash run.Apparently, these steps were going to be part of some kind of residential development that never happened beyond some foundational work.Shit’s getting real now...How charcoal is made.Looks like Martin is having some flatulence issues…A little breather before the final push to the top.Almost there.The joys of getting high.Well, look at that!On the great wall of Barretto…Watch your step, Steve!Looking back down on my little town.Time to head back down.Nothing to see here. Just a random one-armed drunk passed out in the middle of nowhere.Some of my cookie regulars at Rolly’s place.
Alright, I’ve kept sweet Pearl waiting long enough. I’ll hike down to her food stand, then we will go hang out on Baloy Beach for the afternoon.
I’ve received some interesting feedback on my most recent FWB post. A commenter noted it seemed a lot like prostitution with a different name. Another reader emailed me some links about the actual human trafficking law in the Philippines and provided some commentary and analysis on how the law is implemented. It is certainly a law I do not want or intend to violate. Prison and/or deportation are not consistent with my life’s goals.
I think I’ve muddied the waters with my own sloppy writing. To clarify, FWB is not and was not intended to be about sex for money. I came up with the idea of friends helping friends in response to getting besieged with requests for financial assistance from people in need. I would help when and where I could, but I couldn’t help everyone all the time. So it seemed natural to choose to help the ones who were also willing to help me. My needs are pretty simple and basic. I enjoy some companionship now and then and I’m always up for a nice massage. I have girls join me on my hikes sometimes and some have been quite handy with massages. To me, that’s a win-win. Fulfilling each other’s needs created a comfortable relationship-like bond with some of my FWBs, a girlfriend experience without all the baggage. While in some cases things have become physical, there was never any coercion or other enticement–it was just what happens naturally between two consenting adults who care about one another. I hope that sets the record straight. If I wanted to pay for sex I’d make it easy on myself and hire a prostitute from one of the bars where they work. That’s just not my thing.
Alright then, everything else is pretty much the same as every other day around here. Did the bar visit at Outback (see the previous post) to start my evening, then did the pork chop dinner at Mango’s.
And I had this nice sunset for dessert. Yum!
A few more beers at Cheap Charlies then called it a night.
I’m feeling a little better I guess. One indicator is I started craving my vape last night. I resisted the urge, but the fact that I wanted to fill my lungs with water vapor again must be a good sign. On the other hand, I bailed on the group hike this morning. Just wasn’t feeling it. I was the only old slow fuck who showed up today and I fell behind on the flat ground where I can usually keep up. Once the climb started I knew I just didn’t have it in me today. Oh well.
It’s going to be a Hashy weekend. The Corona Hashers are in town from Angeles City for an outstation event. They are doing a bar crawl tomorrow and a run on Sunday. I plan to attend the Sunday event at least. Monday is the Subic Hash 28th Anniversary run.
Yeah, I’ll be getting a new Hash shirt in honor of the occasion.
The Hash Beer Meister is out of town, so I’ve volunteered my carport as a storage place for our beer supply.
And we’ll be drinking some beer it appears!
In completely unrelated news, a friend posted this meme about how McDonald’s has changed in old age:
She’s a youngster in her 20s. I shared with her how McDonald’s looked when I was a kid:
Everything changes…
Alright then, back to the real world for me. I’ll be back with an update on my so-called life tomorrow.
Sadly, I had to terminate another participant in my FWB program. Her crime? Excessive begging. Pestering me for money several times a week pretty much defeats the whole purpose of being an FWB. It’s a big turn-off for me and destroys the illusion of having a mutually beneficial relationship.
This gal was the nearest inductee into FWB and the warning signs were there pretty much from the beginning. I decided to give her a chance though. Then last week she kept after me to let her come over. I told her I wasn’t feeling well so it was a no-go. Then she asked for an “advance” on her next payment saying she lacked funds to feed her kids. I agreed to advance her 1000 pesos. On Monday she again started sending numerous messages wanting to get together. I was Hashing and couldn’t respond right away, but she went into the whole litany of her financial emergencies and begged me to let her come over. Tuesday is usually a good day for me to do an FWB hookup, so I eventually responded accordingly. Then she started in with a whole new line of begging–pleading with me to not deduct the advance I had given her last week. That’s when I knew it wasn’t going to work. When she arrived at my door on Tuesday, I handed her 3000 pesos and told her it was her severance pay. She didn’t understand what that meant, so I explained to her that I wasn’t responsible for supporting all of her needs and I didn’t want any more of her drama in my life. She just stared at me, still not comprehending, so I bluntly stated “I don’t want to see you anymore.” She nodded and left.
I’m not heartless and I did feel bad about it. But I’m not going to live my life being hounded by parasites. She’s the third one (out of four) that I’ve had to terminate for similar reasons. So, yes, perhaps my FWB idea is not as practical as I thought it might be. I’m meeting up with a new candidate on Friday and we’ll see how that goes. I may need to come up with a brand new plan.
I attended a birthday gathering at the Kitchenette last evening. Turned out to be quite fun. I know the birthday gal from darts, but I’m otherwise not that well acquainted with her. She’s become a regular at the Kitchenette though and she generously sprang for two cases of beer which made for a festive evening. Sadly, it was also a “bon voyage” party as she will be joining her boyfriend in Sweden next week. Good luck and best wishes to you, Beng.
The birthday gal.Some of her friends.Party food.
And that was my day. It could be worse, I could be this guy:
As seen on PowerLine: How long can the charade of “President” Joe Biden go on before senior officials in Washington start to chat amongst themselves about how to end it? This 14-second video below shows Biden trying to talk over the band that has started to play, and DOCTOR Jill Biden walking quickly up to him to stop the embarrassment. It sounds like she says “Look at me,” following which the “President” begins to wander off aimlessly and looking confused.
I ventured out to the far side of Barretto last evening to visit Redz Pub. It will be the first bar featured in the “Bars of Barretto” series. Since I was on that side of town anyway, and the girls at Marick’s bar had been hinting about wanting tacos, I stopped by The Coffee Shop, a local restaurant said to have the best tacos in town. I don’t know about that, but they are certainly the biggest.
I got take-out for the girls, but this photo from their website gives you an idea of the size.
I didn’t have one last night, but my past experience was along the lines of bigger doesn’t make better. But, lots of people think otherwise apparently. They were really busy last night, and I was the only non-Filipino there. Service really sucked and I wondered if maybe my white skin wasn’t welcome. Ah well, I got my order and left.
So, I delivered four tacos, two hard and two soft, to Marick’s. There were four girls working last night, although Marick didn’t come in until later. They all shared one and had some rice (naturally) on the side. Whatever rocks your boat.
This is how I roll at Marick’s.And that’s who I roll with.
Now, my style is to enjoy my beer and provide lady drinks to the gal who is taking care of me. Occasionally I will treat two girls if I am the only customer. So, last night it was the cutie pictured above who was helping to empty my wallet. A couple of other customers came in during the course of my visit, and one of them bought a lady drink for one of the other girls. Later, when I was once again the solitary customer, I ordered another round for me and “my” girl. She pointed to her co-worker sitting on the other side of me and whispered, “what about her?” I shrugged and said, I’m only buying one lady drink–you decide who gets it. She came back with the drink and kept it for herself. That gave me a smile, generosity only goes so far I guess. Anyway, the other girl was the only one who hadn’t gotten a drink all night and she had half-assedly rubbed my back a little, so I told her to get herself a drink.
Then the owner, who had recently arrived, pointed to the other two girls and said “what about them?” And I lost it and went off on her. “What about them?” I loudly exclaimed. “I’ve been here buying drinks all night. I brought the girls food. Why is it my responsibility to buy every girl in the bar a drink?” She backed down immediately, but she had chilled my buzz. I finished my drink and left. Not sure when or if I’ll be back. The thing I hate most in the bar experience is getting drink pressure. It usually comes from one of the girls “please buy me drink” which is irritating enough. But to have the bar owner try and shame me into buying drinks was just over the top.
So, I guess this is a good time to talk about the various types of bars you’ll see in the Bars of Barretto series. Almost all the bars go with the “lady drink” option–you buy a drink for your waitress or “guest relations officer”, and she provides company during your bar visit. The only exceptions I can think of here in Barretto would be the hotel restaurant bars. A bar with lady drinks is pretty much a win-win for the bar and the girl. The drinks are usually around 200 pesos each, and the girl gets half of that as commission. As I understand it, some bars have drink quotas and failure to achieve that goal results in a reduction of the daily salary, which might only be 200 pesos ($4.) to begin with. Yeah, that’s fucked up. But that’s the system that is in place and that’s why I try to be somewhat generous when I can.
Within the bar universe, you have what I call regular bars. Just a place to go and have a drink, chat with friends, listen to music, or whatever else eases your mind, including the attentions of a lovely bar girl. The sports bars fall into this category as well, offering live games from back home, be it rugby, football, soccer, or cricket. I’m a regular in the regular type bars.
Another type of venue that is popular used to be called “go-go” bars, and they featured a stage with scantily clad dancing girls. Under the current pandemic rules, bars are not allowed to have dancers on stage, so these establishments have been especially hard hit. Nowadays the gals just sit around on stage like eye candy, waiting for some lucky guy to call them down for a drink or two. I liked them a lot better back in the old days.
And so what category does that leave? Ah, prostitution bars. Well, technically they do not exist. I did a lengthy post on Juicy Bars and Prostitution back in 2009, comparing and contrasting my experiences in Korea and the Philippines. If you are interested in more background on that subject, click the link and give it a read.
I would argue that these days prostitution bars are a thing of the past, but of course, prostituion is still a thriving business. There was a time when you could find the dancer or waitress of your dreams, pay the bar directly (popularly as a bar fine or early work release) and take the girl out of the bar for a night of debauchery. That method didn’t pass the smell test with the authorities and certain do-gooder NGOs, and after a series of raids and incarcerations, the practice is virtually non-existent nowadays. Instead, in certain bars when you connect with a sexy lady and want to do “take-out”, you negotiate directly with the gal. Assuming an agreed-upon price is reached, you pay the young lady and she is responsible for reimbursing the bar for her absence from work. This keeps the bar out of the direct transaction of money for sex. The downside is that if the girl fails to perform as promised, the guy who didn’t get screwed has little recourse to get his money refunded. Not a perfect system for sure and also one I almost never participate in. Why should I? I have Friends With Benefits.
Anyway, as we start visiting the bars around Barretto you’ll get a better feel for the way things work and I’ll elaborate more on what I personally look for in a bar.
Little by little, my health continues to improve. I’m beginning to fear that some of my issues may be age-related, but I’d rather keep getting older than not.
I can’t say the ivermectin made a difference, but I maybe need to reduce my water intake and replace it with beer just to be safe.
Does real goodness even exist, or is it always compromised by the dividends it pays to the do-gooder?
That’s the title of a post I came across at the Althouse blog. The question is posed in a review of a new novel by Jonathan Franzen called “Crossroads”. I haven’t read this book or anything else by Franzen, but this quote from the review set me to thinking:
To ethicists, that is a question about whether right thinking matters more than right action—that is, whether we should judge people’s goodness based on what they are doing or on why they are doing it. Most of them agree that motives matter: in a perfect world, we would all do the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do. But we don’t, and Franzen repeatedly exploits the gap between what we do and why we do it—which, in fiction, is the gap between plot and character.
Now, I like to think of myself as at least being somewhat charitable. But I acknowledge that even my smallest acts of charity, like giving “mama” a hundred pesos when I see her, are based at least in part on a foundation of selfishness: throwing some money around to help someone in need helps serve to assuage my guilt that comes from living a rich life in a poor country. I don’t know that acknowledging that fact diminishes the impact of my gift-giving; it certainly doesn’t matter to the recipients. But the larger question regarding my motives is perhaps one to ponder. Helping people out now and then certainly doesn’t magically make me a nice guy.
Take yesterday for example. I spent about $100. at the grocery store on things to be used in the Kitchenette. I have no expectation of ever being paid back, but my continued support of the business might help it become profitable to the extent that my help is no longer needed. I do get a measure of satisfaction from my involvement in creating something that didn’t previously exist. I also enjoy seeing people getting employment opportunities and a chance to better their lives. And amongst those groceries that I purchased were a bag of frozen chicken nuggets and french fries–food I can enjoy when I stop by after my nightly bar crawl. I don’t know if the “what’s in it for me?” aspect diminishes the value of the gift, but in the end, I don’t think it matters either.
Yesterday afternoon I had a visit from one of the gals I’d advanced 1000 pesos for future “massage” services. I was somewhat surprised to get her message that she was ready to come over. As background, she’s a person that was constantly begging for money to cover various emergencies, paying the bills, and feeding her children. After a while, I grew tired of the seemingly endless requests and was ready to just cut her off completely. But before I blocked her permanently I offered her the opportunity to participate in the Friends With Benefits Program–you help take care of my needs, I’ll help take care of yours. I didn’t actually expect her to accept those terms, but I guess her desperation led her to agree. Anyway, I wasn’t really in the mood for anything physical yesterday. Instead, we chatted some, cuddled a little bit, and touched each other in a non-sexual way. It was nice and I compensated her in the same amount I would have done for “full service”. Do I consider that an act of charity? No, of course not. My support does make life better for her and her kids and I feel good about that. That I get something in return doesn’t negate that fact. I’m not saying it makes me a nice guy or worthy of praise, but then again, people helping each other satisfy their needs is nothing to be ashamed of either.
Last night I played darts at Alley Cats. My partner and I took first place.
I didn’t throw my best game, but we did a good job covering for each other’s weaknesses. Good enough to win at least.
After the above photo was taken, I gave my partner my share of the winnings. Really no big deal to me, but it made her night–probably doubling her daily salary. Which says more about how low her pay is than it does my generosity. No other motive on my part but to make her happy. Seeing that smile made me feel good too, so I guess maybe it was another case of quid pro quo.
Anyway, that’s just an aspect of life here. Lots of people in need and you can’t help them all. Selfish fuckers like me have to find a way to pick and choose when and where to provide assistance. Upon reflection, I don’t think my actions are praiseworthy. But I don’t feel bad about my methods either. Maybe that’s not “real goodness”, but the results are real good for everyone involved. And that’s good enough.
Or so I keep telling myself. Actually, reminding myself is more accurate. I’ve wasted time in the past not enjoying the blessings that surrounded me, instead only focusing on my regrets. My last year in Korea is a prime example of that blind ignorance. Well, no more and never again is my attitude now. Each new day is the best day I have and I’m not going to fritter it away worrying about shit that is beyond my control anyway. I know I’ve said it before but it bears repeating–how can I not love this life I’m living? Just walking the dogs and seeing the mountains fills me with contentment. This morning I recalled telling someone about why I liked living in Columbia, SC–two hours from the mountains and two hours from the beach. He responded, “why not pick what you like best and live there instead of being two hours away?” These days, I have both right outside my door.
I treated myself to lunch at Mango’s today and enjoyed this view.
Well, to be more accurate, I treated myself and a lady friend to lunch at Mango’s today. She’s someone I’ve been acquainted with for a while and wouldn’t mind getting to know better. She’s been going through a transition from bartending to factory work on the old Navy base. She’s asked for some financial assistance to pay for medical and other requirements. A little here and a little there and now we are up to 10,000 pesos ($200.) I’ve been unresponsive to recent hints that she wants/needs more. Until last night when she sent me a message saying “Can I pawn myself to you? HaHa!” That was a new concept to me, but I answered “Yes, friends with benefits”. She did another “ha ha” in response to that. She came back with “how much you pay to pawn me?” Well, I was busy drinking at the Hash and never got around to responding.
This morning she sends this message: “Sorry for what I told you last night…hehehe. I’m crazy…mental block.” I told her not to be sorry and that I was trying to figure out how to afford her. She laughed again and said, “you know my priority now–just tell me.” I responded that I was ready if she was willing. “Of course” was her reply. So, I invited her to lunch and she agreed to meet me at noon. Exciting times, eh?
Well, not so much. She didn’t arrive until 12:45 and said she wasn’t hungry. She also advised she had a medical test to do back in Olongapo at 2:00. What the hell? Why accept a lunch date, come late and not want to eat, and then have to leave in less than an hour? This wasn’t going well. I ordered a salad and she wound up getting some lumpia, ate a couple of bites, and took the rest to go. Alright then, down to business. “Tell me about what is involved in being pawned to me?” She laughed nervously and said “that was just a joke. Did you really take me seriously?” Um, we are here, aren’t we? Okay, it was all a misunderstanding. My bad. Paid the bill, gave her 20 pesos for Jeepney fare, and said our goodbyes. Man, that’s about as close to breaking Rule #1 (don’t be a sucker) as it comes.
The icing on the cake was getting back home and having the gal who stood me up for a massage yesterday messaging me. Seems her nephew was in an accident, that was why she couldn’t come as scheduled. I wished him well. Then she came back and wanted to “borrow” 1000 pesos for medicine. I’d had enough of this bullshit by then, so I just said “let’s boom-boom instead. 3000 pesos and keep the 1000 you already owe me.” Well, that shut her up. No response at all. Guess the “emergency” wasn’t as critical as she led me to believe.
And yes, I know I’m the asshole in all of this. In my defense, I can only say that the constant begging has just exhausted my reservoir of goodwill. If you’ve got nothing to give, neither do I.
Anyway, back to my original point. I’m living my best life. I’m making the rules that suit me. If you don’t like my terms and conditions, don’t ask for my help. I have no bad feelings towards anyone regarding their choice. And I am still spending my charity budget every month with no expectations of anything in return. I’m just feeling no guilt about not giving handouts to predators.
Well, damn. I had intended this to be a prelude to my weekly Hash report. It was a good trail and I felt better than I have while hiking in quite some time. Did the whole trail too, if you can imagine that. But my ramblings above have run out the clock and now I must prepare for the dart tournament. Tomorrow will be a “pure” Hash post with plenty of pictures. Promise!
In the meanwhile, thank you for your indulgence. Who else am I going to tell about these shenanigans?
And tomorrow we might not be together I’m no prophet, no I don’t know nature’s way So I’ll try to see into your eyes right now And stay right here, ’cause these are the good old days.
Had a late night yesterday. Well, there is a 10:00 p.m. curfew, so most bars start closing down around 9:30. That’s something I rarely see these days as my normal bedtime is around 9:00. What got into me? Well, quite a few beers. But I also had places to go and people to see.
I started out at Marick’s bar and the place was packed. There were two other guys and me in there. Plus two bar girls and Marick. Did I mention I’ve seen bigger walk-in closets? Anyway, it’s got a good vibe and Marick is looking for something larger. Good luck with that!
I do enjoy Marick’s company. She said she was going to join me at Monday’s Hash but never showed. When I asked her why she stood me up she said “I got busy”. Okay, I get it.Who is the real Filipino in this picture? That was my way of showing my new favorite bargirl “Happy” how light-skinned she is. “Are you brown from the sun?” No, I’m John from the Earth! Old joke but I’m an old fuck.
I said my goodbyes at Marick’s then headed up the street to It Doesn’t Matter. Hadn’t been there for over a week. My old favorite bargirl “Roberta” came out and joined me. A vendor came by and I wound up buying two dresses for Roberta. I did let her know that I was doing this as a gesture of kindness to the poor woman lugging clothes on hangers up and down the street.
I continued making my way up the highway and stopped at Wet Spot, one of my most frequented bars prior to the pandemic. I was on a mission to find the owner so I could repay an act of kindness he had bestowed upon me last year. The best way I knew how was to buy him a drink. Mission accomplished!
Now, Daddy Dave is more than just a man about town. I think of him as the mayor of the expat community. He also heads the Barrio Barretto Business Association and represents the small business community in dealings with the mayor of Olongapo and the barangay Captain. He has successfully worked with city leadership on pandemic-related issues and unlike the surrounding cities which feature alcohol bans, earlier curfews, and other business-killing and totally ineffective policies, Olongapo is open for business. We are lucky to have Dave on our side for sure!
It had been months since we’ve sat and chatted so I was especially pleased to find him last night. We had a good talk about the issues of the day, enjoyed our drinks, and looked forward to better times.
After Wet Spot, I moved on to The Pub. It was Wingsday after all. That’s when I realized how late it was getting. The only other customers left as I was placing my order and the waitresses were cleaning up and preparing to close while my wings were cooking. I caught a trike around 9:40 and was home well ahead of the witching hour.
The eye doc and I had agreed to an early morning appointment to facilitate his travel to Manila to perform laser surgery. My driver picked me and the helper up at 6:00 and we arrived ten minutes before the agreed-upon 6:30 appointment. The security guard said the doctor hadn’t arrived yet. My driver asked, “now what?” and I said let’s go to McDonald’s! Everyone was in favor of that idea. Had the sausage and egg McMuffin and it hit the spot.
Got back to the hospital at a quarter to seven and the guard still wouldn’t let us in. I was getting pissed but managed to refrain from saying anything I might regret later. Apparently, one of the orderlies went upstairs to check, came back down, and said the doctor was, in fact, in the office. The guard relented and let us pass the threshold into the hospital. Good thing, too. I really had to pee.
Anyway, the doctor seemed to think my eyes were progressing normally and verified my supposition that it takes time for the brain to adapt to the input from a properly functioning eye. So, the blurriness at distance is supposedly nothing to be concerned about at this point. I’m to come back once a week for a month for progress checks. If after a month I’m still not seeing clearly I can opt for either glasses or laser surgery. I’ve got to say, I don’t miss wearing my glasses. I still instinctively reach for them on occasion though.
Once I got back home I set the wheels in motion to get a new passport. Mine expires in December and I got it worked out so that my tourist visa expires on the same day as the passport. I’m using a local travel agency to handle all the details, I’d rather pay them $150. than deal with all hassles of getting everything to the embassy in Manila and back. Was told I should have my new passport in three or four weeks.
Had a wonderful massage from my friend “Merideth”. She was pleasantly surprised when I asked her to come over. I really appreciate the fact that she doesn’t pester me and gives good service when called upon. I’m a lucky guy!
But enough about me. Here are those pictures from Wednesday’s hike I promised:
We took a Jeepney to Calapacuan to begin our trek back to Barretto.Some of our group. What’s her name wondered out of the photo and Scott is behind the camera. He took most of these pics in fact.I was struggling even on this modest incline.Working my way up.Through the back alleys…The haunted hospital. Construction never completed.Off the streets and onto the trail. Luckily for me, the climb was short and not steep.Hello, where have you been all my life?I asked.“Most of it not born.” Fine, be that way.Though my problems are meaningless, that don’t make them go away… I certainly have nothing to complain about.A new perspective on Easter mountain.Family time.Cookie time.Two sides of the Filipino coin.Puddle avoidance.
That’s pretty much it. Tomorrow is going to suck though.
I appreciate the headsup, but damn, all f’n day?
Oh well, I’ll get through it.
I appreciate the sentiment, but I seriously doubt Shakespeare ever said that.
We said we’d “Never Forget!” but I’m not so sure that’s true for many of my fellow Americans. But for today, at least, we’ll leave politics out of the remembrance of those who lost their lives as well as the heroes who gave their lives on that fateful day twenty years ago.
I was working at the Department of Education in Washington, DC on that beautiful September morning. I was having a meeting with my staff in the conference room. Someone mentioned a plane hitting the World Trade Center building in New York, but we assumed it was just a tragic accident. During the meeting, the phone in my office kept ringing. I ignored it at first, but the persistent callbacks convinced me to interrupt my meeting. The caller was my then-wife, Carol, who worked for the Department of Justice. She asked if I’d heard the news–a plane had hit the Pentagon. And things started going crazy throughout the city.
We were locked down. Anyone leaving the building was not allowed back inside. Meanwhile, at the Justice Department, employees had been excused. Carol came to my workplace but they wouldn’t let her in, so I went outside to join her. Now what? We were commuters on the Virginia Railway Express, but all forms of public transportation had been shut down indefinitely. We made our way to the Holiday Inn near our train station and sat in the bar watching events unfold on television. A few hours later, a friend who lived in DC picked us up and drove us home to Stafford, Virginia. My daughter Hillary, who had joined the Army Reserve, was watching the news on TV and stated matter-of-factly “this means I’m going to be activated.” She was and did two tours of duty in Afghanistan.
Everything changed that day. On a personal level, I was jolted out of my former worldview regarding national security. I discovered new sources of information on the internet and was shocked to discover much of what the Washington Post had been feeding me was bullshit. Not so much in what they reported, but in the things they left out. It set my life on a new course, one that eventually led me to Korea to work for the U.S. Army as a civilian.
Over the years I had the opportunity to highlight the actions of two heroic firefighters. I want to continue that tradition by “saying their names” here today:
Men and women like these exemplify the selflessness and sacrifice that has made America great. Hopefully, all those who lost their lives on that fateful day twenty years ago did not die in vain.
This song and the accompanying photographs are both a haunting remembrance and a fitting tribute to those who died that day. May they all rest in peace.
It was a nasty day, but that didn’t stop us. The Wednesday Walkers marched around 12 kilometers under a steady rain, driven by the passing of typhoon Jolina. We kept to the roads and highways though, so we suffered no ill-effects other than a good soaking.
The highlight for me, at least, was helping to welcome our newest member, Paula, also known as Pearl. When she arrived at the meetup location we all assumed she was with Chris, as he was the one who greeted her. Scott thought she was perhaps Chris’ wife but I told him she appeared way too young to be his wife (Chris had told me about a hiking trip he took with the wife in Europe several years ago). I thought she might be a daughter, although I don’t even know if Chris has a daughter. With a mask covering the lower portion of her face I thought she looked to be in her late teens.
As the hike commenced, I was, as usual, bringing up the rear. My oh my, Paula’s ass was one of the nicest I’ve ever seen. Yeah, I know that sounds creepy, but I’m just stating a fact that I couldn’t help noticing. It was such a distraction that I stepped up my pace and walked ahead of her so as not to be a total perv. Later in the hike, I had the chance to introduce myself and that’s when I learned her name. When I asked her age she surprised me when she answered “28”. I, in turn, surprised her when I responded that she was only two years younger than me. She laughed when I explained that I am thirty in my heart and reminded her that “age is just a number”. She smilingly nodded in what I assume was agreement.
I also learned that she was divorced, and I asked how that was possible (divorce being illegal in the Philippines). She told me had been married to a Japanese man in Japan, where she had lived for six years. Now don’t get your hopes up for me, dear readers, I’m not. She is very attractive, seems smart and interesting, although I didn’t get a warm fuzzy that she had any interest in me. I told her that our normal hikes are much more interesting than this road walk, and she expressed interest in seeing the mountains. I told her if she wanted to friend me on Facebook I’d add her to our hiking group message board. And she did. So maybe I’ll have a pretty face to spice up the photos from future hikes at least.
To the photos then:
Our long and wet route…And we are off!Yeah, that’s Paula in the black pants.Heading into Subic on the National highway.Then turning up the Govic highway for the long trek to barangay Naugsol.The road stretched out before us.A view from the rear…And a view of the rear.“Are you looking at my ass?”Our route took us on a big loop around Easter mountain.Come along now, Charles. It’s my job to be running behind.On the road to Naugsol.On the streets of Naugsol.Probably the nicest house in Naugsol.Me being charming and witty. Or trying to…Roadwork ahead.The second nicest ass on the hike…Heading back to Barretto on Sawmill road.Almost done.Exchanging Facebook info with Paula before saying our goodbyes.It’s all seemed a little fishy at the street market…Beer drinking time after the hike for some of the guys at the Kitchenette. Our hostess provided chicken wings and lumpia for a snack.And mama dropped by to say hello as well.
Anyway, stayed too long and had too many beers so early in the afternoon. Put me off schedule, hence yesterday’s abbreviated post. It was rainy most of the night, and we lost power early in the evening and again in the wee hours of the morning.
But when the sun came up today, Jolina had moved on.
Anyway, it was not a bad day despite the rain, almost 26,000 steps and nearly 20K. I’ll take it. That kind of exercise has got to be good for the heart, right?
And I come across these reminders during my internet travels to help keep me safe. I’m sure Paula would never hurt me though, right?
I’m joking of course. I hope. And I’m also counting my blessings. I don’t want to ever be this guy:
They did find someone who knew him and got him home safely. I understand he will be running for president.
So, the party was at a place called Maris’ Kitchenette. Now, whether the party was a grand opening event or for my birthday is a matter of perspective. There was a cake with candles and my name on it, and I paid for the beer. The food was given away for free too (and technically, I paid for that too) I got there about 1:00 and there were already quite a few people in attendance, and more came and went throughout the day. I knew most everyone there and received the customary birthday greetings and songs. I enjoyed myself and that’s as it should be, right?
Not just one cake……but two. Both were consumed by the end of the day.The kitchen crew were friends of the owner who volunteered to help out for the big event.I contributed the stove, freezer, and refrigerator.
I’m sorry, but I didn’t pay much attention to the food. I know there was a pancit noodle dish, chicken wings, shanghai lumpia, and a few other offerings. Not the full menu, but lots of volume. Also all gone by closing time.
Some of the early arrivers…It’s actually a pretty comfortable venue. Right on the National Highway. The kitchen is large and there is counter eating on the outside perimeter.Greetings to you, Joanna (who lives upstairs from me) and Kate, who is a real cutie. I told her one time after she had taken off her glasses, “you know, you look better without the glasses”. She didn’t miss a beat in responding, “you look better without my glasses too.”The Alley Cats crew also showed up, leaving one girl behind to man the bar.Mingling with some of the guests…More guests and some of the food on offer. Sorry I didn’t get more food shots…We had a rain squall mid-afternoon. Only lasted 15 minutes or so, but it flooded the highway out front.This is AFTER the major road construction/drainage installation project. Only in the Philippines!The birthday boy……performing the traditional COVID spreading ritual…
Once the party wound down and the kitchenette closed up, we moved next door to Mango’s where I treated the hard-working staff to a roast chicken dinner.
That being the case, it can mean whatever anyone wants it to mean. Apparently. Let’s continue yesterday’s “love story” to its illogical conclusion, shall we?
So, I was taken aback by Jessel’s words of love, unexpected as they were. How could I have so completely misread her feelings? I stopped playing darts so I wouldn’t have to deal with her rejection. She told me she quit working at Alley Cats because I stopped coming. And now all these months later we were finally back on the same page after having acknowledged our love for one another. The only question that remained was where do we go from here?
Clearly, we had a lot to talk about if we were to set a course for a future together. I wasn’t entirely sure I knew what I wanted going forward and I had absolutely no clue about the kind of relationship Jessel desired. I was still scared about making a mistake and getting hurt again, so I was hoping for some reassurance and understanding if I wanted to take things slowly. I knew I would be making changes in my lifestyle but I needed to understand Jessel’s expectations, wants, and needs.
The obvious next step was to get together and talk about these issues. That shouldn’t be difficult for two people in love. Except it turns out that it was. My only avenue of communication with Jessel was via Messenger, but she continued to be non-responsive to many of my messages. Hours and sometimes days would go by before I received a reply on the ones she did bother to answer. Jessel explained that she is not allowed to use her phone at work, and I understand that. That doesn’t explain why I rarely heard from her during her off-hours though. It took me until Wednesday, five days after I had received her profession of love, to receive her agreement for a lunch date. And it didn’t happen. When she finally got back to me, she wanted to meet at 6:30. No, that didn’t work for me. I’d already been drinking and this meeting was too important to me to do unsober. And yeah, to have a lunch date unilaterally changed to dinner was irritating too. It took until late the next day to reschedule our lunch meeting for Friday at 1:00 at Mango’s.
I was excited about the meet-up and arrived twenty minutes early. Jessel got there twenty minutes late. Yeah, a practitioner of “Filipina time”. Good to know. It was nice to see her again–it had been a week already. We ordered our roast chicken meal, and I told her the story of love I shared here yesterday. She told me she was excited the first time she saw me. Well, it never showed. I asked some questions about her life and she responded with short answers. Later on, I thought she was sending a message on her phone, and I happened to glance down–she was playing one of those building block-type games. Ouch! I guess I’m not as interesting as I thought I am. She didn’t seem to have much else to say anyway and the vibe I was getting was that she wasn’t interested in talking about the future. Well, she did say she didn’t want me to tell anyone about “us”. I’m pretty sure that nobody she knows reads this blog, so I guess I haven’t. I couldn’t get an understandable answer as to why we couldn’t tell the world of our newfound love, but my imagination quickly came up with several possibilities. Very strange indeed.
She wasn’t interested in coming home with me or doing anything else together after lunch. She wanted to nap. And here’s the kick in the balls–when we got to the door of Mango’s she said “you go first.” She didn’t want anyone to see us leaving the restaurant together!
I didn’t hear from her at all on Saturday. This being in love thing isn’t as grand as I thought it would be. And that’s really the bottom line about it I guess. Jessel is not the woman of my fantasies. I think perhaps I over-estimated her English mastery–perhaps she seems uncommunicative because she can’t speak or write my language well. I still have no idea why she doesn’t want people to know about me, she did assure me she has no other boyfriends–here, back in the province, or online. So, I don’t know.
But what I do know is there appears to be no foundation on which to build a relationship. The things I dreamed about and imagined aren’t going to happen. Jessel doesn’t seem eager to take any initiative to move things forward, either emotionally or physically. Maybe she is just shy.
Anyway, she doesn’t appear to be the woman I fell for in my imaginary relationship. Reality is an unforgiving bitch, but as at least one commenter has noted repeatedly, I ought to know better by now. Yeah, I should. All I can say in my defense is that I don’t develop those kinds of feelings very often anymore and normally wouldn’t have the courage to act on them. In this case, I was aware that my current life is pretty damn fine even without a loving relationship. And it could be a hell of a lot worse with one.
I took those tentative steps forward, and now I’m stepping back. Perhaps love is just an illusion after all. At least I didn’t get bit in the ass.
Love hurts, love scars, love wounds And marks, any heart Not tough or strong enough To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain Love is like a cloud Holds a lot of rain Love hurts…… ooh, ooh love hurts
Some fools think of happiness Blissfulness, togetherness Some fools fool themselves I guess They’re not foolin’ me
I know it isn’t true, I know it isn’t true Love is just a lie Made to make you blue Love hurts…… ooh, ooh love hurts