Unconnected

Easier said than done, but I’m working on it.

I’ve mentioned before the struggles I’ve been undergoing as I continue my journey through the uncharted waters of my seventies. Usually, I can turn off my brain, or at least drown it out with copious amounts of San Miguel Zero. But then those nights I can’t sleep soundly come around.

Like last night.

Lying there in bed, my mind inevitably starts traveling back to the past, reminding me of what I had and what I lost. My preference is just to let it go, or sometimes fantasize about what I might do to change things should I be granted a “do-over life.” Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Anyway, last night the struggle with my brain revolved around how disconnected I’ve become. I rarely hear from my children, and it’s been years since I’ve had contact with my two brothers. Long-time friends have also disappeared. I guess this is one of the consequences for choosing to live out what remains of my life on the other side of the world, far away from friends and family.

But here’s the thing. I don’t miss the vanilla American lifestyle I left behind and can’t imagine living in the nation of my birth again. I miss the people I’ve loved, even if it feels like they no longer love me. They’ve chosen to go their own way, just as I have chosen to go mine. Life goes on until it doesn’t.

Somewhat coincidentally (I was checking to make sure I hadn’t used this post title before), I found something I had written in 2008 expressing sentiments similar to what I’ve been feeling now. Back then, I was reflecting on my life after three years in Korea, lamenting what that had cost me, yet I was still unwilling to change course. That’s where I’m at today as well. The mistake I want to avoid this time is getting trapped in regrets over what I’ve lost and forgetting to embrace the good in the life I have.

So, as unconnected as I might be, I have my routines to fill the hours. Yes, they are mostly mundane and meaningless, but I enjoy them and will do my best to continue living the best life an elderly man can hope for. Let’s see how that works out for me.

And there’s no going back, so I’m taking the future one day at a time.

Take yesterday, for example. My new driver, Bong, who is a friend of Swans, arrived promptly at eight in the morning for my weekly grocery shopping excursion. There was an additional stop at the immigration office to extend my visa, and that went without issue. Then it was on to the Filipino supermarket, YBC, to stock up on the week’s candies and treats. Checking out can be a very frustrating experience, as I was reminded once again. It seemed to take forever for the woman in front of me to get her groceries squared away and paid for (she had them in three piles to be rung up separately. And then it took a long time for her card payment to go through. I stood by patiently, reciting my mantra, “take a deep breath, relax, and accept the Filipino way.” It’s not vanilla here; sometimes it’s a rocky road.

Royal is a comparatively American shopping experience, so there is usually nothing much to get upset about. My only issue was at checkout, when the cashier tried to entice me to buy eco-bags for my groceries instead of the cardboard boxes that are the usual method. When I declined the bags, she said the boxes were unavailable. I responded by pointing to the customer who was ringing out several aisles away, using boxes. Then the cashier disappeared for several minutes, presumably in search of boxes. Meanwhile, one of the baggers came by with boxes sufficient for my grocery load. The cashier eventually returned and began ringing up my purchases. Maybe it was my imagination, or perhaps she is just incompetent, but damn, it seemed like she was moving in slow motion. Anyway, if that’s all I have to complain about, I’m living a charmed life indeed.

Back home, I was feeling lazy and skipped the usual afternoon neighborhood hike. At beer o’clock, Swan and I made our way to Barretto and paid our monthly visit to my old darts bar, Alley Cats. I was reminded of how disconnected I’ve become from my former darting life. It’s still nice to see the familiar faces occasionally, though.

After Alley Cats, we crossed the highway for some dinner at the Outback Fish and Chips diner. We’ve had takeout from there in the past, but this is the first time we’ve actually sat down to eat there.

It’s an open-air joint, which I like. This is the view from our table.
I’d been craving fish and chips for some reason. This is the mahi-mahi version, which I prefer to the standard dory variety. I wasn’t disappointed.

I had a 500 peso voucher from the final SOB for Whiskey Girl, so that’s where we headed next. At first, they declined to accept the voucher, saying they were no longer a member of the SOB. I was livid, saying this prize was given to me at the last event, and their refusal to honor it was tantamount to fraud. I was ready to walk out without paying for the drinks I had ordered when manager Mick interceded, saying he would accept the coupon but still claimed it should not have been given. So, I had four beers for free (one glass of wine I paid for) and left.

Then, we once again crossed the highway and popped into the newest bar in town, Gold Bar. We were warmly greeted by the manager and took our seats. I was a little surprised to see that I knew our waitress, Lydell, whom I first met at Snackbar several years ago. A little later, neighbors Jeff and Davina joined us. I didn’t take any photos, but Gold Bar is a clean, well-lit place —the kind I appreciate when I’m drinking inside. There is a pool table in the back and a small stage where four dancers were performing their swaying routine last night. They were attractive (i.e., not fat) by Barretto standards. It was a pleasant enough nightcap venue, and on those occasions we are visiting this side of town, we’ll pay them another visit.

Not bad for a Tuesday, eh? Except for the part about not being able to get a good night’s sleep.

Oh, I’ve often wondered why Filipinos don’t speak Spanish, despite being under Spain’s rule for four hundred years. This article explains what happened.

Moving on to February 2015 in the LTG archives, and this post about one of my best days as a darter brought back some nice memories.

A fifteen dart out in 501, the best I’ve ever thrown. The pros can do it in twelve, but they don’t use aiming fluid (beer).

Three years ago, I was still enjoying my visit to Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

What’s not to like?

In today’s YouTube video, a white girl (or, more likely, an AI-generated image of one) shares her first experience in a Manila grocery store. She encounters the variety of snacks and flavors the locals enjoy. It is short, so bite your tongue and try to enjoy it.

And now let’s move on to the funny business:

Don’t ask me, I’m just a grammar spammer.
IOU for this one.
Puns can be killers.

That’s all I’ve got. Sorry for going a tad off the rails today, but that’s what happens sometimes.

Blessed be the day

And I have no intention of finding out!

Here’s the down and dirty on how I spent what the locals call All Souls’ Day.

As is our custom, we kicked off our Sunday with a Sweets Stroll.

Damn, dying at forty is sad.
Filling the void with some sweet goodness.

Speaking of goodness, Swan made me a meat pie for lunch:

She’s a natural in the kitchen, and being with a Brit for many years expanded her repertoire.

But the feeding wasn’t over, I still had the Hideaway gals to tend to.

You are welcome!
Down the hatch!

But wait, there’s more. At John’s place across the highway, I rendezvoused with Swan, who had just returned from family time at the cemetery in remembrance of her mother.

The dinnertime sky view from John’s.
This should come as no surprise to regular readers.
Bulgogi hit the spot for me.

After our meal, we ventured out to Red Bar and met up with the neighbors.

We usually sit outside, but Jeff was craving the aircon.

Swan said she saw on Facebook that there was live music at Jumpin’ Jacks starting at 7 pm. So, off we went. When the music didn’t start as scheduled, Davina graciously helped fill the void.

Thanks for that performance!
It was almost eight before the scheduled act took the stage. That’s awfully close to my bedtime, so we didn’t stay for much of the show.

And that’s all there was to the day, but it was still blessed. I hope there are many more to come.

From the January 2015 LTG archives is a tribute to my mother on the fourth anniversary of her passing. Gone but never forgotten.

Mom’s life was not an easy one, but in the end, her thoughts were only about the power of love.  She urged us to love and to be loved because that was all that really mattered.

And Facebook also flooded me with memories from this day in 2018, during my last visit to the USA. We rented a place for the weekend at Seven Devils, North Carolina, nestled in the Appalachian Mountains.

It was the last time I experienced snowfall.
And the sunsets were amazing.
It was also the last time I saw my children.
Nothing lasts forever.

Life doesn’t always go the way we planned. You just live the life you have and make the best of it. Looking back still makes me sad sometimes.

Speaking of looking back, today’s YouTube video is about growing up in the baby boom generation. Those were some sweet memories. I’m glad I got to experience life the way it was. I’m also happy to be living life the way it is, but the clock is ticking for us boomers.

And now let me offer you these tidbits of wisdom that may be worthy of a smile or two:

What did she say?
I’m fucking trying to get it write.
Who gives a shit?

There you go. I hope you got what you came for. It’s Hash Monday and I’ll be hitting the trail again this afternoon. When I say “the trail,” I mean “my trail.” I’ve decided that making the effort to reach the official start at the end of Rizal Extension isn’t worth the hassle, especially since I’m not a fan of the previous trails by today’s Hare. Damn, the older I get, the more inclined I am to say, “Fuck it. I’ll do it my way.”

I heard this song as background music last night. It had been a long time since the last time it tickled my senses. In my old-man style, I sent myself a message with the song’s name so I’d remember it today.

This is the day
Of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers
Wild gamblers
That's all in the past

You call me a fool
You say it's a crazy scheme
This one's for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I'll make it this time
I'm ready to cross that fine line

A Brand New Plan

I wrote this as a reader’s submission on the StickmanBangkok website back in April 2017. Stickman is going away, so I wanted to preserve it here, even if it didn’t age well.

A little background.   In November 2015, I made my first submission to Stickman entitled “Regarding Korean Women“. One month later, my Korean wife bailed on our marriage, saying only, “I no have happy life with you”.  I was devastated, and went on a two-month drink binge.  Then I changed my mind about drinking myself to death and went on a diet and exercise program, losing 60 pounds so far.  I’m feeling and looking better than I have for years, but my heart remains a mass of scar tissue.

Prior to meeting the Korean woman who became my wife, I was well on my way to finalizing my plans to retire in the Subic Bay area in September 2010.  After falling in love, I had to make a choice.  And I chose love over the PI.  I moved back to the USA, bought a house, a car, furniture, and lived the American dream.  I was retired and we’d spend 6 months in the States, and 6 months in Korea.  Three years into this routine, the wife declined to come back to America with me.  So I found a job in Korea and came back to her.  And it turned out she wasn’t happy about that.  Never expected I’d be alone again at 60 years old.

Nothing to do but pick up the pieces and move forward.  In an odd twist of fate, I wound up getting promoted back into the job I had retired from in 2010.  The pay is great, but my heart really isn’t into it.  And now I’m planning to re-retire in September and move to Subic.  It’s like déjà vu all over again!  Only I’ve lost seven fxxking years of my life in the interim.

I’ve sold the house and everything I own in the USA (at a significant loss) and have no intention of ever going back there.  Korea is too full of painful memories, and I’m ready to move on to the next chapter (the final chapter?) of my life.  I’ll start in the PI, and if that doesn’t work out, I’m inclined to give Cambodia a try.

But this post is about love.  Or more precisely, how I’m done with love.  After the split with the wife, I started cruising the dating websites.  I was pretty good at ferreting out the scammers (having been scammed a time or two back in the day).  Met a couple that I thought had potential and spent a lot of time chatting on Skype.  The first was Maria, and she wound up scaring the hell out of me by professing her undying love before we had even met.  I kept telling her to back up and slow down as I was nowhere ready to go to the being in love place.  We met up in March in Cebu / Mactan and had a good time together.  I promised to see her again for her birthday in June.  This time we met in her hometown on Samal Island.  Again, I enjoyed her company but was unwilling and unable to return the love she wanted to share.  Finally, as an act of mercy, I ended it with her.  Felt bad about her pain, but the truth is, it was self-inflicted.  I warned her and warned her about the love thing.  I just wasn’t willing to do that.

Then a friend introduced me to a Korean woman.  Now, I had sworn off Korean women (pretty on the outside, cold as ice inside).  But she got under my skin.  I took her to visit the Angeles / Subic area in September.  She enjoyed her visit but was put off by my plans to retire there. She asked me, “Who would want to live in a poor country?” She was also not happy with the old men parading their young Pinay beauties down the street. Suffice to say, things ended badly with her.  And that’s when I finally knew I was truly and forever done with love. I’m just too old for that shit.

Meanwhile, I had continued to have irregular communication with one of the first gals I met on FilipinaCupid.  I liked her because she was smart and could actually carry on an interesting conversation.  I would have preferred meeting Loraine over Maria to begin with, but Loraine had confessed to having a guy in the States sending her support, so I backed away.  After the Korean gal ended the relationship, I got in touch with Loraine again.  Turns out she was in a long-distance, but unfulfilling relationship with some sad sack back in the States.  Didn’t matter to me; I wasn’t looking for love anyway, and I still enjoyed our chats.

Loraine had been an OFW (overseas Filipino Worker) in Hong Kong, Saudi Arabia, and Vietnam.  The Vietnam job had ended badly, and she was back in the PI, unemployed, and, because of her age, basically unemployable.  So, I had made plans to visit Puerto Galera over the 2017 New Year holiday.  Loraine had spent quite a bit of time there, and since I enjoyed her company online, I figured I might like her in person as well.  I offered her a job as a tour guide, and she accepted.

We got on quite well during the trip, and I was glad I’d brought her along.  Especially when I wound up sick and she was able to provide the TLC I needed.  Which gave me an idea.  Why not hire her full-time as my personal assistant/caregiver to take care of my needs when I move to the PI?

So, I made her a job offer.  Monday-Friday, paid holidays and vacations, outstanding pay and benefits, including room and board.  Her job would be to do all things a girlfriend/wife might do.  I simply want companionship without all the bullshit that comes from a “loving” relationship.  Loraine did not hesitate to accept my offer and appears excited about the opportunity.

Will it work?  Who knows.  I’ve already advised her that falling in love with me or any other overt indications of jealousy or similar behaviors would be grounds for termination.  She’s been warned. And since she is an employee, I won’t be bothered with all those requests to support the family; that’s what her paycheck is for.

I think it’s a good concept that gives me what I want and need with relatively minimal risk.  It will be interesting to see if the theory plays out in practice.  We recently completed a successful ten-day test run during an exploratory house-hunting trip to Subic. I’ve put her on a retainer (1/2 salary) pending my move in September. She’s using this time to attend massage training and caregiver school.

I think I may have found the perfect alternative to love and all its baggage. Can I actually pull it off? Stay tuned!

Nuts and bolts

No, I didn’t go crazy and flee. I didn’t get screwed either. It’s just that after all these years, coming up with an original post title is increasingly difficult. My first thought was “stuff about things,” but when I did a search, I saw that I’ve used that five times over the years. So, nuts and bolts it is!

All the damn time.

The pending arrival of my seventieth year has been on my mind a lot lately. It’s a milestone I suppose I never thought I’d live to see. But here I am. I’m sure I’ll get used to these emotions I’ve been feeling, but damn, turning another page in the story of my life feels like the start of the final chapter. I’m hopeful it will be a LONG one!

Anyway, it is easy to forget that I’m an elderly man because I don’t feel old. I often joke and say in response to the “age is just a number” line that I’m thirty years old. Honestly, I don’t feel all that old, but something about seventy just can’t be denied. That said, I’m still doing the things I enjoy such as walking and drinking pretty much like I always have, although maybe in somewhat smaller doses. The biggest change I’ve noted is the cognitive decline, especially in terms of memory and attention span. I guess if that continues, at some point I won’t know or care about it.

We never know how much time we have left, and everything can change in the blink of an eye. I was reminded of that while walking this morning. We were on SBMA, and I was walking facing traffic on a narrow elevated footpath. This being the Philippines, there was a power pole blocking the sidewalk in front of me, so I stepped into the road to move around it. Then I hear a horn blow and a car goes racing past inches away from me as it illegally passed a vehicle in the other lane. Damn, that was close. I yelled a hearty “fuck you!” and flipped him the bird. So, I haven’t made seventy yet. Here’s hoping!

Honestly, I have a sweet woman who loves me, and maybe that’s all the gold I need.

Beckie, ex-wife number two, posted this on Facebook yesterday (yes, we are still Facebook friends):

Fable: DON’T ARGUE WITH DONKEYS

The donkey said to the tiger:

– “The grass is blue”.

The tiger replied:

– “No, the grass is green.”

The discussion heated up, and the two decided to submit him to arbitration, and for this they went before the lion, the King of the Jungle.

Already before reaching the forest clearing, where the lion was sitting on his throne, the donkey began to shout:

– “His Highness, is it true that the grass is blue?”.

The lion replied:

– “True, the grass is blue.”

The donkey hurried and continued:

– “The tiger disagrees with me and contradicts and annoys me, please punish him.”

The king then declared:

– “The tiger will be punished with 5 years of silence.”

The donkey jumped cheerfully and went on his way, content and repeating:

– “The Grass Is Blue”…

The tiger accepted his punishment, but before he asked the lion:

– “Your Majesty, why have you punished me?, after all, the grass is green.”

The lion replied:

– “In fact, the grass is green.”

The tiger asked:

– “So why are you punishing me?”.

The lion replied:

– “That has nothing to do with the question of whether the grass is blue or green.

The punishment is because it is not possible for a brave and intelligent creature like you to waste time arguing with a donkey, and on top of that come and bother me with that question.”

The worst waste of time is arguing with the fool and fanatic who does not care about truth or reality, but only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste time on arguments that don’t make sense…

There are people who, no matter how much evidence and evidence we present to them, are not in the capacity to understand, and others are blinded by ego, hatred and resentment, and all they want is to be right even if they are not.

When ignorance screams, intelligence is silent. Your peace and quietness are worth more.

The obvious moral of the story is to ignore the libtard’s rants. But during the ten years I was married to Beckie, I was a Democrat and she wasn’t. That wasn’t at the root of our breakup or anything, and I don’t recall us arguing over politics much. But it did start me thinking about those years we shared and how we came to be together in the first place.

I first met Beckie during one of my visits to the farm in Poteau, Oklahoma, to see my kids who were staying there with my parents. I attended a gathering hosted by my brother’s then-wife, and Beckie was there as well. My girlfriend back in Arizona was going to graduate school to be a speech pathologist. That was Beckie’s profession, so we talked about her work. Later, I was introduced to the man who had been smilingly watching us from across the room–Beckie’s husband.

Anyway, fast forward a year or two, and I took a job in the nearby city of Fort Smith, Arkansas. One day, Beckie’s husband was clearing the road to their house and was killed when the tractor he was operating flipped over, leaving a widow and baby daughter behind.

Another year or two went by, and I was looking for a partner to help me raise my kids. Beckie filled the bill, and I married her. I got promoted at work and we moved to South Carolina shortly thereafter. She did a great job with my kids and is still actively involved in their lives as a loving grandmother. She is one of the nicest people I’ve met in this lifetime. She deserved better than my cheating ways and found it after our divorce. So, there you have another episode in the story of my life.

Speaking of which, I came across this article talking about Plato solving the problem of evil. The concepts taxed my weary brain, but the ideas about the multiverse and how all the paths you did or didn’t take in life have been lived out by you in a different universe gave me some hope that my dream of a “do-over” life may be within the realm of possibility, God willing, of course.

Well, thanks to my hiking routines and this here blog, I almost always know what day it is.

Yesterday was Thursday, and Swan and I did our own little walk. Taking advantage of rainless skies (that didn’t last), we braved taking the back way up to the My Bitch trail and had a pleasant stroll through the hills.

The cloudy skies didn’t let go of their water until we were safely back home.
A tree I liked.
That girl I like more than any tree.
Started to the left and circled around for a pleasant 4.5K journey.

Another plan for my dotage years is to take a trip out of town at least once every month. I’m set for Angeles City in September. Swan wants to go back to Pundaquit in October. And yesterday I booked flights and hotel rooms for Siragao Island at the end of November. That trip will include all the neighbors here on Bryce Street.

When beer o’clock arrived, Swan wanted a massage, so I chilled in Alley Cats for an hour. I was the only customer during my visit. When Swan was done getting rubbed, we met at Mango’s for dinner. Yep, we stuck with the pork chops like we always do.

A rainy bay view from Mango’s.

After dinner, we moseyed up the highway to Queen Victoria for our nightcap. They had a pool tourney going on, so we weren’t the only customers this time. Queen Vic is hosting tonight’s SOB, and although it is an excellent venue for the show, I’m going to take a pass this time.

The view from our table at QV.
The old man and the Swan.

Steven King has always been one of my favorite writers, although his political views are more than a little off-putting. Never noticed his leftism in his books, but then, I used to be one, so maybe it seemed normal then. Anyway, he posted something on X mocking Trump’s grammar. Turns out, King’s was just as bad. Maybe he needs to sign up for Kevin Kim’s Substack.

In the LTG archives from February 2012, I recount the adventure of climbing Bukhansan in Seoul. This was before hiking became my daylight pastime.

Today’s YouTube has a 70-year-old expat sharing some of the lessons he’s learned now that he is elderly. I can relate.

Humor never gets old. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

But what about in your do-over life?
I’ve been reading that an alien spacecraft is rumored to be heading our way and is expected to arrive in November. Maybe we can invite them for Thanksgiving, just as the Native Americans did for the Pilgrims.
We can always cuddle…

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that. For today, anyway.

A seven-year ache

Today is the anniversary of my retirement and move to the Philippines seven years ago. If things go as I hope they do, I’ll celebrate my 70th birthday later this year. So, there is no denying that I’m in the midst of the final chapter of my life, and I hope to make the most of it. I don’t recall having any real expectations when I made the move, and although I’ve had my share of disappointments, I don’t have any regrets about the decision to make the Philippines my home.

I still spend a lot of time dwelling on the past, which may not be a healthy thing to do, but in a weird way, remembering what I was, and what I had and lost, and all the things that led me to this moment in time are sometimes painful, yet somehow comforting. I can’t adequately describe the kaleidoscope of feelings looking back brings me, but I almost feel as if I’m in an afterlife and seeing my past lives from an otherworldly perspective. Perhaps this is my purgatory.

I wrote a post about my final day in Korea here. In that post, I quoted something I had written in January 2005, before changing my world forever when I decided to leave my American life behind.

I never really had a plan for life, I just reacted to it. Whenever I reached a crossroads, I chose a direction and followed the road without a clue as to where it might take me. I guess it is natural to wonder about the paths that would have led to a different life, but you only get to live the life you chose. No mulligans. But I have been extremely fortunate and blessed. The roads I have taken have led to some great adventures and life-altering experiences. A fool’s luck perhaps, but even though I could never have imagined what my life would turn out to be, it has been a very nice ride. So it is time to look forward again. And it will be an adventure with an uncertain outcome for sure.

I reckon that is as true now as it ever was. And it occurs to me that I’ve been blessed with a multitude of lives within my lifetime. Here are some of them off the top of my head:

  • My California life
  • My Arizona life
  • My Oklahoma/Arkansas life (I lived on both sides of the border)
  • My South Carolina life
  • My Virginia/DC life (lived in Virginia, worked in DC)
  • My Korea life
  • My Philippine life

And within those lives, there was a multitude of others: growing up, working, parenting, four marriages, and other relationships and adventures. At one time, I began to explore some of these in a series of posts here called “One Lifetime, Many Lives”. Perhaps I’ll find the motivation to complete that effort before I die.

Anyway, nothing else to do but hang on and see what happens next. In the meantime, here is the first post I wrote after arriving in the Philippines. I had to smile at the mention of Jessa, who worked at Treasure Island, where I stayed my first few days. We did wind up dating briefly, but I managed to fuck it up. We are still friends, though, and I’m glad for that.

If you are a regular reader, you know my life is not much more than daily walks and nightly beers, with some occasional travel in the mix. I’m sure it gets boring to read about, but I enjoy it. One of my goals when I moved here was for my presence to make a difference in some small way for the less fortunate who surround me. I feel good about some successes I’ve had in that regard. My biggest project in terms of cash outlay is supporting a widow with three kids born to an American father who couldn’t be bothered with securing their citizenship before he died. I also sponsor a student in Bohol who regularly makes the Honor Roll at his school and, hopefully, is destined to escape the poverty of his family’s life. I am also helping Maria, the gal I dated briefly when she was eighteen, as she attends college. I’ve got a full-time helper who has been with me from the beginning of my time here and earns a generous living wage. And of course, I’m supplementing the salary of bargirls through the generosity of the lady drinks I provide. Hey, every little bit helps!

And there you have my anniversary reflections and the rare LTG post with a semblance of substance.

Tomorrow is election day here in the PI, and Filipinos are not allowed to consume alcohol starting today. Most Barretto bars are open for the foreigners they cater to, but I moved my Sunday routines to Saturday just to be on the safe side.

I did the feeding at Hideaway, even though they are open today (closed tomorrow). Then it was off to the floating bar to meet Swan.

The beach was not nearly as crowded as it had been the past few weeks.
Only one other customer besides Swan and me.
The sun upon arrival.
The sun a couple of beers later.

We got hungry and impatient waiting for the sun to put on the endo of the show, so we headed back to shore.

From the beach, we got to see the rare rising moon…
…and the setting sun sharing the same sky.

Then, it was off to John’s place for some dinner. Once again, we shared:

Tasty beef bulgogi…
…and surprise, surprise, birria tacos.

After our meal, we stopped at Red Bar for a bit, then finished the evening with a nightcap at Wet Spot.

By the way, I didn’t forget about the Saturday Sweet Stroll, but how much more can I say about that weekly event that you haven’t seen or heard numerous times? Well, there was this:

Nothing special about this tree; it was just my first attempt at pinning something on Google Maps.
And there you have it. Now what?

I also did a video clip of the final neighborhood on the Saturday Stroll:

As my trek through the archives of LTG continues, I came upon another anniversary, or should I say, blogaversary. The third year of my blogging efforts was in December 2007. Sadly interesting were the comments of wife #3 and my step-daughter, Avery. One more episode in The Story of My Life.

Facebook memories for today:

Four years ago, I knew what the ignorant were denying.
Five years ago, I was calling out the Nazis who were revealing themselves during the scamdemic. I had one now former friend disclose the location of a speakeasy I’d found where I could enjoy some beers during lockdown. The fucker recognized something in the background of a photo I posted, and named and shamed the venue. What a cunt!
Seven years ago, I left the 8th Army Headquarters building for the last time.
Also, I flew business class seven years ago to my new life in the Philippines.

Today’s YouTube video takes a slightly different twist on the reasons why the Philippines attracts expats. As I was searching for where I might spend my retirement years, I ultimately chose the Philippines for two reasons: the friendliness of the locals emphasized in this video, and also, that English is commonly spoken here. The cost of living is another positive, although I disagree that most hospitals provide quality and value. I’m glad I found an excellent doctor I can trust, though.

And bad humor is better than none, or so I keep telling myself:

Damn, I hate when that happens!
My wife #3 said the kidney stone hurt more than childbirth.
Lifting those twelve-ounce weights every day helps.

And now to get on with year number eight. It occurred to me that Swan won’t be able to drink in any of the open bars. She suggested I have some “me time” tonight, so I reckon that’s what I’ll do. I’ll let you know how that works out tomorrow.

My last Hash

Until next year. Anyway, not a bad day on trail. We left Alta Vista and took the back way through the hills to the start of the Hash on Rizal Extension. From there, we did a steep stair climb almost to the top of the Kalaklan Ridge, then meandered through the woods to the On-Home at Tiny Cunts house at the far end of Rizal Extension. The problem is getting back from there after the Hash. My solution was to leave at the beginning of the Hash circle and walk back down the road before nightfall. That worked out just fine, and we chilled at It Doesn’t Matter until it was time to call it a day and head home. Here are a few photos from the adventure:

Heading out, I came upon the proverbial fork in the road. I didn’t take it.
Arriving at the meet-up
Let the climbing commence!
First cookie delivery of the day
On and on we climbed the uneven steps
The steps were done but not the uphill climb
If a tree falls on your roof and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Through the woods we go
Nature’s litter is much more pleasant than the human kind
Two options: Over or under the barbed wire.
I guess whoever was building here got tired of the climb and said, “fuck this!”
On the level
Weird to see Christmas wrapping paper discarded out in the wilderness
Walking the wall
The Rizal Extension portion of the hike
A little over 5K from start to finish

Hash Monday is a difficult day to stayed focused on the diet plan.

That second helping of pudding put me over the top. Hey, the New Year is coming. I’m resolved to do better!

I was born in 1955 and I’m still booming like there is no tomorrow:

Why yes, yes we are!

And next time I visit Korea, you can call me Kang, Gun Hyo.

Today’s installment in The Story of My Life comes from my brief reflections regarding my final day at work back on December 30, 2010. My big insight on that day was this:

But I’m going to make sure this is merely the transition time between adventures.  Or go crazy.  One of those.

Four years later, I revisited those musings in a post called It’s the inevitable let down at the end of a great adventure and shared this epiphany:

Maybe I am crazy, but it occurs to me now that life is always just one big transition.  I suppose that state of perpetual transition might on occasion include adventure.  More often it just hurts.

Back then, I didn’t have a clue about the heartbreak that would befall me the following year. And that ultimately led me to a new life in the Philippines. The only way to find out what comes next is to live it. I’m going to keep at that task for as long as possible.

Now at last I have come to see what life is,
Nothing is ever ended, everything only begun,
And the brave victories that seem so splendid
Are never really won.

Even love that I built my spirit’s house for,
Comes like a brooding and a baffled guest,
And music and men’s praise and even laughter
Are not so good as rest.

― Sara Teasdale

At least I’m not a loser like the one in today’s YouTube video. Get a grip, dude. Yeah, I dislike things about the PI (primarily litter and noise), but the good far outweighs the bad. If I didn’t think that was the case, I would get the fuck out, not post whiny-ass YouTube rants about it.

Laughter helps:

You can’t tell by my posts, but I do care and I am at least trying to do better.
I worked at Blinky’s Pizza in Westminster, California, back in my high school daze. And yes, we kneaded the dough. The bread they paid me was minimum wage.
And that’s why I could never be a doctor…

So, today’s post is coming to you from Mope Beach Resort in beautiful barangay La Paz, San Narciso. I didn’t have a plan for this; I just wanted to welcome the New Year by doing something different. So, we packed our bags and had the driver drop us down the road after grocery shopping. And here we are! I’ll let you know how it goes down tomorrow.

The story of my life

It was twenty years ago today when Long Time Gone was born into the blogosphere. What a ride it has been! Of course, things seldom go as planned, but I had no clue at the time that the journey I was about to embark on would completely and irrevocably change everything and lead me to places beyond my wildest imagination. In my “do-over” afterlife fantasy, there are many things I would change, but making the move to Korea and leaving my vanilla American life behind forever is not one of them. Here’s what I had to say twenty years ago in my first blog post, “And So It Begins”:

I’m moving to Seoul, Korea. Although the general consensus among family and friends is that I’ve lost my mind (which I don’t necessarily deny), this is something of a calling for me. One of my biggest regrets in life was not serving in the military. My father and two brothers are Army vets. My daughter is currently serving her second tour in Afghanistan with the 82nd Airborne. I am incredibly proud of her and all our troops who are sacrificing so much to defend our freedom and to bring freedom from tyranny to others. Sitting on the sidelines watching these incredible men and women making a difference in the world has only exacerbated my desire to find some tangible way to make a contribution in support of our military. Of course, at 49 my options are somewhat limited. I have been a federal civilian employee for over 28 years, and so for the past several months I have been applying for civilian jobs with the Department of Defense. I was not selected for a position I applied for in Iraq, but the Army offered me a job in South Korea and I have accepted. I don’t presume to think that doing a civilian gig in Seoul is heroic or particularly self-sacrificing, but if in some small way I can play a part in our national defense, I am proud to do so.

Ok, that’s the altruistic reason for going, such as it is. On a more personal level, I have lived a very comfortable life. Too comfortable perhaps. The chance to live and work overseas in a totally alien culture seems to be an exciting opportunity to get out of my box and experience a new lifestyle. Yes, I am looking forward to the adventure. Of course, the nature of adventure is the not knowing how things will turn out. I know I will miss my family and friends and everything that is familiar and wonderfully American. I have made a two-year commitment to the Army, and if I am miserable and lost and lonely, well I will deal with it and learn what I can from the experience. Going in, I have a positive attitude and believe that I have the power to determine what I gain and how I grow as I live this new life.

So, this blog will serve as a diary of my life in Korea. It will be a place where I share my thoughts on what I am seeing, doing, and learning. And since I am fairly political and opinionated, there will likely be some commentary on my views on world events. I have been a blog reader since I discovered the blogosphere shortly after 9/11. This is my first attempt at writing a blog, and that will be part of the adventure I am undertaking.

My original intent when starting LTG was to have an easy way to stay in touch and share with my friends and family back home what was happening in my Korean life. These days, no one from those long ago times reads the blog or cares about me and my so-called life here in the Philippines. Everything changes, but this journey of mine still goes on until I finally reach the end of my road. And I intend to keep writing this public diary of mine even if no one cares enough to read it. I know I have a handful of loyal followers, and that means a lot to me, even if your reward is being subjected to my daily dose of drivel. Thank you!

I have occasionally fantasized about writing the story of my life. Perhaps one day, my descendants will want to learn more about that crazy relative who left everything behind and moved to Asia. In some ways, this blog fulfills that purpose. My plan now is to spend the next few months scrolling through the archives for the rare post that might be worthy of inclusion in my unwritten autobiography. I’ve created a new tag, “The story of my life,” to add to those posts so they will be easy to find in the future. And I’ll share a link to those stories with my readers as I find them.

Over the past twenty years, I have written 5,326 posts and received 17,181 comments. Happy blogiversary! I hope you’ll stick around to see what happens next.

And here’s what happened yesterday:

The morning dog walk to start the day

And then it was time for the Wednesday Walkers group hike. We took a Jeepney out to the far side of Subic and commenced our hike from there.

Out of the Jeepney
And off we go!
Leaving the city behind
Catching up after a pee stop
Bushy grasses would be our bane for much of the hike
Mostly flat, but this was a tricky down
We last came this way in March. It wasn’t so overgrown with plant life back then.
Ah, the wide-open spaces!
It’s so much easier to walk on the dirt road. It didn’t last long, though.
Working the fields
Graffiti, Filipino-style
Village life
The road’s gone, but the grass is low for now.
Lollipop delivery
Pausing for the group shot. Biggest turnout we’ve had for a while.
A hard-working carabao
Life on the farm
Marching single file
It held her!
And then it got wet and muddy
How muddy? This muddy.
We needed to cross the river, but some of us wanted a better option for doing so.
Washing the mud off our shoes was an added benefit
The carabao didn’t mind us passing through his turf
That bridge most of us didn’t take
These two gals did, though
Well done, Beth
This cow was a little freaked out seeing us pass through. At least he ran the other way instead of at us.
And then there was another water crossing
No dry shoe option this time
Through the fields we go
It seems strange to grow a crop in the riverbed, but whatever it takes
Slippin’ on down to the river
And then wading across
There is freedom in wet feet–you don’t have to care anymore.
Through another small village
Then back on the pavement
All the Jeepneys passing by were full
But then we were able to flag down a passing Victory Line and rode back to Barretto in comfort
Just about 6.5K from start to finish

Swan and I killed the evening hours with visits to It Doesn’t Matter and a nightcap at Wet Spot.

I made it, but just barely.

Remembering when we were a family:

Both my brothers are still alive; I just never hear from them anymore.

And now for a taste of politics:

Funny and sad how that works

In today’s YouTube video, Reekay recounts the sad tale of expat Ted. I spend more than I should and have depleted a sizeable chunk of my savings, but that monthly government pension deposit is ample to keep me living large—at least until the USA goes bankrupt. Avoiding four years of Kamala spending might be the miracle we’ve needed.

And some humor, if you please:

That kid is going places!
Time to wrap it up, Kirk
Maybe it’s a hump too far

Anyway, here’s to hoping it will be a Long Time Gone before my blogging days are over. I ain’t in no hurry to give it up.

Love’s logistics

One of the challenges of being in a relationship is that it throws all of your routines a little out of kilter. I feel like an old dog learning new tricks sometimes.

Wednesdays are already challenging. Had a nice, but tough, hike in the morning (photos to follow at the end of this post), then home to prepare for darts. No time for my usual nap. Then I hoofed it out to Baloy Beach where I participated in a disappointing 11-2 victory over our opponent from Johan’s. Why would I be disappointed in a lopsided win? Well, I played poorly against a weak team and one of those losses was on me. And we lost the beer round (team game) resulting in us providing a beer chit for our opponents rather than them buying one for us. No one wants to lose the beer round! Ever.

It was the first day on the new job at Hideaway bar for Joy and Jen, the former waitresses from Finger Monkeys. I wrote about their escape from their oppressive boss here. I had promised them I would come by and help them get started on the right foot with their new employer. So, after darts, I caught a trike to take me to the far side of Barretto. The bar wasn’t busy when I got there, but they said there was a large group that had just left. I bought them each a couple of lady drinks. Then Eric, another former customer of the wretched Finger Monkey bar, came in to join the celebration.

Suck it, Finger Monkey. The girls and our money are doing just fine without you.

I needed to head out early because I knew Pearl would be waiting for me at her place. She was. I was going to take her out to eat, but we decided to just order off her menu. Man, I got some honey garlic chicken wings that were fantastic! Then Pearl wanted me to sing to her. At the karaoke joint next door. Wasn’t really in the mood, but how could I say no? I did okay on my old standards, Patsy Cline’s Crazy and the Bee Gees classic I Started A Joke. It was all downhill from there. Pearl didn’t object when I told her I’d had enough after a total of four or five songs.

It was a little after 9 p.m. and I was fading fast. Pearl wasn’t ready to leave her work yet, so I told her I’d leave the gate and door unlocked at my place if she wanted to join me later. I kept my phone by the bed just in case the upstairs neighbor locked the gate while I was sleeping. Around 11, my phone rings, and I hear Pearl say “I’m here”. I jump out of bed, go outside, open the gate (which was still unlocked), and no Pearl. WTF? I came back in and texted where are you? A few minutes later her mom pulls up and drops her off. I guess she had called me from the guard shack. Oh well, it worked out okay. We had a blissful sleep.

I got up at my usual 4:30, and Pearl joined me at 6:00 or so.

She accompanied me on the dog walk and was awestruck by the beauty of the views from the neighborhood. Like Easter mountain.

We had a mediocre breakfast at a local hotel, then I told her I needed to go to Subic to get some cash from the BPI ATM. Pearl lives on the far side of Subic and said she needed to get something at her place. I suggested we go about our business and meet up later, but she said she only needed a few minutes so I agreed to meet her at Waltermart. That’s about a twenty-minute walk from the ATM. I arrived and let her know I was there. No response. I walked around the parking lot. Over and over and over. Forty minutes later I get a message that she would be arriving soon and told me to wait inside the mall for her. So, I walked the mall for another 30 minutes until she finally arrived. I was a little perturbed and she apologized profusely, so I let it go. What else am I going to do about it?

She’s at her business now. I told her I needed to go home and shower. I also needed to have some time to do a post for the blog, but I didn’t mention that part. Keeping LTG a secret from her for now at least. Hey, this is where I go to vent, right? I’m baking some brownies to take to her food place and I’m also bringing some fruit salad. Yeah, I’m going to keep her waiting a while. It’s just the kind of guy I am.

The photos for our hike yesterday:

We did the hard up climb up to Kalaklan ridge.
Another record-setting turnout…
A little street walking at the beginning.
Let’s kick that mountain’s ass!
Up we go. This was actually the same route we took on my very first Hash run.
Apparently, these steps were going to be part of some kind of residential development that never happened beyond some foundational work.
Shit’s getting real now...
How charcoal is made.
Looks like Martin is having some flatulence issues…
A little breather before the final push to the top.
Almost there.
The joys of getting high.
Well, look at that!
On the great wall of Barretto…
Watch your step, Steve!
Looking back down on my little town.
Time to head back down.
Nothing to see here. Just a random one-armed drunk passed out in the middle of nowhere.
Some of my cookie regulars at Rolly’s place.

Alright, I’ve kept sweet Pearl waiting long enough. I’ll hike down to her food stand, then we will go hang out on Baloy Beach for the afternoon.

Ain’t love grand?

Keep the change

I’ve been doing some self-reflection and pondering the way ahead as I move into what remains of my golden years. Honestly speaking and notwithstanding my bitching and moaning, I’m living a comfortable and mostly satisfying retired life here in my scenic little town. The one aspect I’ve been most unhappy about has been my failure to find and maintain a truly loving relationship. And yes, I know that is all on me. And you, my dear readers, are quick to remind me of that fact whenever my whining rants and self-pity get to be too much. See, this blog does serve a purpose!

A commenter on my Live and Learn post defined the nature of my failures with women as being due to what he called “transactional relationships”:


If you really are seeking some sort of love and companionship, you have to start by eliminating the transactional dimension of your “relationships.” Another astute commenter used the phrase “pay for play” to describe your situation. As long as you’re unable to rise above the transactional (she gets something out of this; I get something out of this), you’re doomed to marinate in your own hell.

I hadn’t really ever thought of it quite that way so that set me to thinking. Looking back it is true that almost all of my “love” relationships had a transactional aspect to them. Maybe it is just the way I’m wired or perhaps it’s just my admittedly selfish nature, but I’m not seeing how I might escape this Groundhog Day-like cycle. I mean, aren’t the traditional wedding vows transactional in nature? Making mutual promises to one another about all the things you will do for that person “until death do us part” is tantamount to entering into a contract. What’s more transactional than that?

So, I’ve been married four times. Some might call that a failure, but on the other hand, I did find four women in this world willing to take those vows of eternal love. That it was all for naught isn’t all that relevant, is it? In the case of wife #1, she had my baby. I wanted to keep that baby girl and raise her the best I could. Marriage was the avenue for doing that, so I gladly made that transaction. After five years that wife decided she didn’t want the job of being a mother anymore (we also had a son by now) so I became a single father.

Wife #2 was and is probably one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I knew she’d make a great mom for my kids (she was a widow with one young child) and so I convinced her to marry me. I did love her in my fashion but there is no denying the transactional nature of that relationship. Of course, once the kids were grown the foundation of the marriage no longer existed. I recall that when I told my daughter of the pending divorce, she said to me: “I never understood why you got married in the first place. You two have nothing in common. She doesn’t even laugh at your jokes.” I responded that I got married so she would have a mother. My daughter looked at me and said “Daddy, we were doing just fine as the three of us.” Oh well, that one is all on me and I hurt a very good woman in the process. I’m not proud of that at all.

Now, wife #3 was all about passion. I mean, that was certainly true in the physical sense but it also carried over into our intellectual life as well. We fought about everything, but not really in a bad way. We both worked in labor relations and we’d have heated debates about work-related issues as a matter of course. Once I wised up and left my liberal orthodoxy behind we’d fight like cats and dogs over politics too. But the thing is, we were engaged. We argued because we cared. And once I moved to Korea and she reneged on her promise to join me there, I really missed that aspect of our married life. That’s probably one of the few instances of a non-transactional relationship I’ve managed to achieve. In the end, it was still a failure, but in a twisted kind of way, it worked while it lasted.

My Korean wife (#4 if you’re keeping score) was pretty much the complete opposite of my third wife. The language barrier played a large part in that I suppose as our interactions were limited to mostly mundane questions and responses. But she was a good woman and had a good heart. And she changed my life. I was supposed to retire and move to the Philippines in 2010. But after one of my trips there I came home sick and was hospitalized for a couple of days. Jee Yeun took time off work and stayed with me 24/7. And that got me thinking. I knew the Filipinas I had been meeting would love me for what I could offer them but likely only until a better option came along. I knew Jee Yeun would always be there for me. So, that’s what I chose. The deal was we’d always take care of each other and I was happy or at least satisfied with that. I guess that’s transactional too, but at least it was mutual. It was shocking when Jee Yeun unilaterally backed out of the deal. And not to make excuses, but I’ve been cynical about love ever since.

Now, after that final failure (and it is final, I will never marry again) I’ve been floundering. I want to have love in my love, but I’m unwilling to take the risks that loving someone requires. I don’t want another broken heart. So, I came up with a brand new plan. It was the ultimate in transactional relationships–I would pay someone to do and be all the things a girlfriend should provide, except there would be no love involved. I was a fool to believe it was foolproof. In the end, I fell in love with her and she broke my heart. Turns out she was better at the transactional game than I was–dumping me for a guy who offered her a better package. Is that how Karma works?

So, now what? We’ve identified the problem and that would be me. But what to do about it? Is being aware of my transactional nature enough to change it? Or will this be my destiny:

…like a wind-up toy aimed at a wall, you tend to hit that wall and to keep stubbornly trying to walk through it. You’ve been great about accepting the various criticisms we’ve offered (frankly, I might not react so well if I were in your place), but deep down, you’re not really accepting them. You’re stubbornly, eternally walking into that wall, into that wall, into that wall. Until you divorce yourself from that momentum and that trajectory (some would call this karma), nothing is going to change, no matter how much you rhapsodize about loftier things.

With awareness comes acceptance. Except I’m accepting that I’m not likely to change at this stage of my life. After giving the matter lots of thought, I’ve concluded that I am unlikely to change because I’m not at all sure that I want to change. No, I’m not particularly happy with my current state of being but damn, being “in love” might just be worse. These past few days seeing how the power my feelings for Janey has made me vulnerable to hurt and despair has been a good reminder that there are worse things than being alone.

So, what next? Well, I’m going to strive to do better in the way I treat the women I meet. A transactional relationship is one thing, but using people in a way that causes them pain is unacceptable. I don’t think that was ever my intent but I believe there have been some inadvertent hurt feelings along the way. I’m going to learn to embrace my aloneness as just another part of who I am. Yes, I’ll find opportunities along the way to experience the unique pleasure female company can provide. Let that be my respite from loneliness.

Actually, the thought has occurred to me to give my “Plan B” another try. Just pay someone to be my girlfriend/companion in much the same way that I pay my domestic helpers to take care of my house. It could work. As long as I don’t fall in love.

And the best news of all dear readers is that you will not hear me bitch and moan about the sorry state of my love life. There is peace in acceptance.

There’s something about Mary

What that something is I haven’t quite figured out. Maybe I never will.

Last night’s get together was something of a roller coaster ride. Mary was a little late arriving at our rendevous location and we were bumping up against the pending curfew. No trikes were available so she walked with me to the house without complaint. Mary said she wasn’t hungry, so I made up a batch of strawberry-banana smoothies.

I tried to engage her in some conversation but she seemed shyer and more reserved than during our first meeting. I’d had a few beers while waiting for her so I probably wasn’t providing much inspiration either. I remember asking her if she likes me and she responded by holding up her thumb and index finger maybe an inch apart and said “a little”. Hmm, that made me wonder why she had even bothered to come. Oh. Probably for the money. This led me to broach the subject of my being her Sugar Daddy. Mary had never heard of the concept and after I explained it she simply said “will it pay the rent?”

Mary strikes me as being quite the enigma–equal parts shy, innocent, and mercenary. But I guess desperate times require stepping out of her comfort zone. So I took her upstairs to the bedroom.

The next morning she came downstairs acting like nothing was wrong. The dogs like her at least. She didn’t want breakfast and after a couple of minutes of small talk, she asked if she could take a shower. I took her upstairs and showed how the shower water heater worked.

While she was in the bathroom, I put the rent money under her phone. She came out, saw the money, and asked “what’s this?”. I told her it was the rent money. And she didn’t want to take it. I finally told her it was her birthday present and her severance pay. She asked why and I told her I wasn’t interested in spending time with someone who couldn’t even pretend to be interested in me. Mary said, “but I really do like you a lot!”. I’m like, WTF? We just had this conversation on the bed and you agreed that you weren’t attracted to me. Her response floored me: “I really couldn’t understand much of what you were saying. You talk too fast.” So I said, well, you know, if you don’t tell me you don’t understand me, how am I supposed to explain or slow down? You kept nodding and agreeing with me, so I assumed you understood. So, anyway, we agreed that I would try to slow down my speech (my domestic helper agrees I’m hard to understand at times) and Mary will tell me to repeat myself as needed. We’ll see.

I told Mary to keep the money and consider it an advance on her first month’s salary. She reluctantly agreed to this. We haven’t really defined the terms of her employment yet. I’m just looking for a little company and companionship. And satisfying boom-boom now and then. I have no idea how that is going to work out, but I’ll give her another shot anyway I guess. I don’t really have any other irons in the fire right now.

And oh yeah. I walked her to the Jeepney stop and said goodbye. On her way home she sent me a message: “I think I’m falling in love with you.” Oh boy, here we go again. I’m a LONG way from feeling that emotion so I just told her we’d take it slowly and see where it leads us.

Bottom line: No, I don’t think she is a scammer. I think she is inexperienced and naturally shy. I’m not sure what her ultimate goal is, but it probably revolves around financial security, i.e. “the rent”. I think she has been pretty upfront about that. Now if she can just up her game and learn to make me feel special we could potentially have a win-win. Otherwise, I’m prepared to walk away.

UPDATE: I did something I very rarely do here at LTG…edited a completed post. I deleted some of the details about last night because it just seemed like too much information for a public blog. Sorry if what remains is more disjointed than usual.

Groundhog Day


Which came first–the chicken or the egg? I’m guessing it was the rooster.

So, here we go again. My hopes for some relief from the “enhanced” quarantine rules were dashed with the announcement that Zambales province would continue with the current restrictions through May 15 (at least). And to add insult to injury the mayor of Olongapo has decreed that we will once again suffer a total lockdown on Saturday and Sunday. Not even using the “disinfecting” pretext this time around. I guess there is no point in having power if you aren’t willing to abuse it.

Here are today’s numbers for the Philippines. They are essentially meaningless in my opinion because almost no one has been tested that wasn’t already displaying symptoms. We know now that a huge percentage of people get the virus and have no symptoms and no lingering ill effects. Here in Olongapo, we’ve had four cases total. What the hell is all the fuss about?

I’ll admit this shit is getting depressing. So I decided it was time to take stock of things in my life. And one thing I was short on was my supply of beer. This morning I set about rectifying that situation.

I sent a message to my bar owner friend Jay asking if he had any beer in stock he wanted to sell. He responded that he was going into Olongapo shortly in search of some and I was welcome to ride along. And that is just what I did. Jay was driving the Hashmobile (he’s the Subic Hash Grandmaster, aka H.I.V.) and I didn’t think it was possible, but he drives even crazier than my own driver Donny. Anyway, we arrived safely at the market, and alas, they had no beer. Plenty of hard liquors available and Jay stocked up on those. Jay told me he would contact another bar owner to see if he had anything for sale. We drove back to Barretto and as we were offloading Jay’s purchases he realized he’d left his credit card at the store in Olongapo. Jay asked if I wanted to ride along again and having nothing better to do, and wanting him to pursue the alternative source for beer, I agreed. And then this happened:

The front tire blew out. And what a pain in the ass it was to change. I wound up calling my driver and it’s a good thing I did. The jack in the Hashmobile was totally inadequate for the job at hand. Donny’s jack saved the day.

So, since Donny was there I figured I’d go ahead and have him take me to the supermarket where I’d purchased beer and groceries on Tuesday. Knowing we were going on lockdown made me remember all the things I’d forgotten to buy on my earlier trip.

I guess everyone else was thinking the same thing…buy now or be fucked.

Once I was allowed into the store I set about my business. Only five cans of beer left on the shelf, so I grabbed them. Stocked up on dog food, chicken nuggets, canned goods, and the like, then headed home. On the way back Jay messaged that he had secured the three cases (24 bottles each) of beer I was desiring. WooHoo! That ought to get me through quarantine!

Bringing home my treasures!

Yesterday, I did a 12K hike with Scott and Jim.

We rendezvoused at the home of my mountain friends, JR and Jennifer and family. I brought along a sack of provisions to help them weather the virus storm.
We decided to keep it mostly flat this time. Monday’s hike was a killer doing the big climb in the heat.
So, I guess you could call this the ‘high” light of the hike as we worked our way back down from the mountain family’s place.
Scott took a photo of me taking a photo of Easter mountain…
Scott on the trail…
Me on the trail…
Gemini. (see what I did there?)
Jim is always leading the way (he’s got 10 years of youthful advantage on us) so he gets to sit and wait a lot.
Some things never change, this is the Philippines after all…
We crossed that bridge when we came to it. It was pretty dicey though…
On the home stretch of our hike. The trail led us to Alta Vista so I invited the guys in for some leftover chili, cheese nachos, and of course, cold beer to wash it all down. Which put a BIG dent in my supply and had a direct bearing on my beer seeking adventures today.

Still, having a couple of tech-savvy guys over was a good thing. Jim ran a clean-up program which sped things up on my computer quite a bit. Scott showed me how to download torrents from Pirate Bay and I’ve got season 1 and 2 of Game of Thrones to dive into this weekend now at least.

So, my high school girlfriend actually posted this on her Facebook page today:

OUCH!

And I’ll leave you with this which is both funny and sadly all too accurate:

As Glenn Reynolds notes, the Babylon Bee has become America’s paper of record.

Wrapping it up

I fly out in the morning, so here’s a photo essay of my final hours in Saigon.

Monday night on Walking Street, the bar area in the “backpacker” district. Walking street is a bit of a misnomer, given that there was still plenty of motorbike traffic to avoid…
This sign gave me a chuckle, although it was not enough to lure me in…
I reckon I’ll miss Saigon some, but probably not the Miss Saigon…
Truth be told, I didn’t really like the Walking street experience at all. It seemed like every bar was trying to out blast their neighbor’s bullshit music. Just give me that ole time rock-n-roll! Pretty busy for a Monday evening and it was obvious that the bars were going for a younger crowd. I don’t fit that demographic anymore nor do I want to…
Hmm, what should I eat?
Ah, this will do! Yeah, I had a burger and fries in Vietnam. Man does not live by Pho alone!
So much to learn, so little time…
An oyster bar snack, then bedtime…
Up early this morning and after the hotel buffet, I headed out for my walk. Wound up down by the Saigon river.
This is a tough city to walk in. Most streets have sidewalks but they serve mostly as motorcycle parking areas. It was a nice break to have an unobstructed path to walk and no need to dodge traffic…
Enjoying the Saigon River views…
Some type of government building. The red star Vietnamese flag and the omnipresent hammer and cycle are testaments to the communist heritage of the united Vietnam…
And yet, free enterprise abounds as evidenced by the Ho Chi Minh stock exchange…
And religion is openly practiced as well, at least the nuns I saw weren’t shy about parading about in their habits…
Remnants of the war to expel the imperialist invaders and reunite the people of Vietnam, as seen at the Ho Chi Minh museum.
The worst part of Saigon? Well, 7 million motorbikes make walking around a hazardous undertaking…
The best part of Saigon? Well, I’ve got to say that the beauty of the Vietnamese women certainly rivals that of the Korean females I’ve so dearly loved…
And after much exploration and trial and error, I can declare the In Sai Gong rooftop bar as my favorite watering hole. Although I never did have a water there…
Here’s a job I could never do. Gave me the willies just watching them swing around up there like Spiderman…
After all that walking, I was ready for some lunch. Chose this Vietnamese place around the corner from my hotel. Most expensive place I’ve eaten at this trip, but why not splurge and live a little? I am on vacation after all.
Started with some honey garlic pork ribs that were quite delicious…
Then I had half a roasted chicken that was possibly cooked (there were scorch marks on the bottom) and obviously served in this bamboo tube. Never seen that before. However it was prepared, it came out tasting most excellent.
And when you order half a chicken, you get half a chicken. Including this foot. None for me, thanks!

Still a few nighttime hours to fill. Plan is to see Alex and the boys play darts then say my goodbyes. Probably head over to In Sai Gong for a final cold beer as well. Then it’s off to the airport at 0630 for my 0930 flight to Manila.

I’m glad I finally made it to Saigon. And even more glad it wasn’t as a soldier.

UPDATE: Well, turns out I was also “wrapping it up” back in November, 2015. I also had no idea that Jee Yeun would be wrapping up the marriage just a month later. Still hurts.

Food for thought

I’m going to say right up front that I’m no “foodie”. In fact, I’m not all that adventurous when it comes to exploring local cuisine in general and street food in particular. So, why am I doing a post about the food I’ve eaten thus far during my Vietnam adventure?

Kevin Kim that is. One of my faithful readers and commenters truly is a foodie and has expressed interest in how I like the food here.

Let’s eat!

This morning’s breakfast. My hotel has a free buffet and it’s not bad. They have an egg station where you can eat more traditionally, but where’s the fun in that? That’s a nice clam and corn soup in the bowl. Curried chicken and spiced fish, bacon, watermelon and a tasty roll. I didn’t like the fish, the only “traditional” Vietnamese dish on my plate. It was too hot for my taste.
They also have a juice station, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to drink this! Yeah, yeah, I’ve licked my share over the years, but you’ve got to draw the line somewhere…

Last night, my pal Alex invited me out to his favorite restaurant for some leg of lamb.

I guess one of the last vestiges of the French colonial days is the abundance of tasty baked breads.
The meal also featured a tasty Greek salad.
About the only time I eat lamb is in a kebab, so I’m no expert. But this had a unique flavor which I assume was a Vietnamese twist to spicing. It was really good.
No one had a bone to pick about the meal…
…right Alex?

The best meal I’ve had so far though was the lunch served during the Mekong river tour I took on Friday. It was also probably the most traditional Vietnamese fare I’ve had on this trip.

I have absolutely never seen fish served in this fashion. When I first set down at the table I thought it was just a decoration. It was quite tasty.
Some of the other dishes served, including meat on a stick, spring rolls, and those yellow fish-eye looking things.

Now one Vietnamese diet staple is the bahn mi sandwich. I think I saw them featured on an old Anthony Bourdain episode and I’ve wanted to try one since I arrived. Oddly enough, when I asked hotel staff for a good bahn mi restaurant, I was told the best ones were from the street vendors. Go figure. Anyway, after my morning walk yesterday, I brought one home:

Decisions, decisions. I went with the pork… Oh, if you are curious, the dollar buys 23,000 dong at current exchange rates. So these sandwiches are relatively inexpensive. It felt good cashing in those Ben Franklin’s and walking out of the bank with some big dong! *ahem*
My bahn mi chef hard at work…

Here’s how Wikipedia describes the bahn mi:


A typical Vietnamese sandwich is a fusion of meats and vegetables from native Vietnamese cuisine such as chả lụa (pork sausage), coriander leaf (cilantro), cucumber, pickled carrots, and pickled daikon combined with condiments from French cuisine such as pâté, along with chili and mayonnaise.[6] However, a wide variety of popular fillings are used, from xíu mại to ice cream. In Vietnam, sandwiches are typically eaten for breakfast or as a snack; they are considered too dry for lunch or dinner.[7]

Here’s how mine looked:

It was quite tasty, although I would have liked more meat. At Subway I always ordered double meat, an option I was unable to request given the language barrier…

Dining out has kind of been hit or miss. Usually drink until hungry, then either eat at the bar or pop into a nearby restaurant. Sometimes I’m not even sure what’s on offer. Stopped into this place the other night with some mates, and it was almost like being back in Korea, but without kimchi.

Yep, grilled meats!
And this seafood stew was quite good as well…

And about the only other Vietnamese delicacy I’ve had thus far is a soup called Pho.

Looks like this and is also quite tasty. Although the one I had was chicken and there were more noodles than meat. Especially good after some hard beer drinking.


Phở or pho[) is a Vietnamese soup consisting of brothrice noodles (bánh phở), herbs, and meat – usually beef (phở bò), sometimes chicken (phở gà).[4][5] Pho is a popular street food in Vietnam[6] and served in restaurants around the world.

And there you have it, a post about food. I’ve been a bit more adventurous in trying the local brews.

But don’t get me started on that.

A touristy day

Did an all day tour yesterday, featuring the Cu Chi tunnels and the Mekong river delta area, both of which are about an hour and a half from Saigon. I do enjoy travel and seeing new places and things, but I don’t like being a tourist. Or to be more precise, I don’t enjoy guided tours much. Yesterday was a prime example of why.

Got picked up at the hotel as scheduled at 7:30, then drove a ways across town in heavy traffic to pick up more tourists. When everyone was on board a bit after 8:00 we headed south. Our tour guide was a 20-something Vietnamese man who said his name was “Laughing”. His English was almost understandable. He seemed very proud of his country and there is nothing wrong with that of course. But my first red flag of the day was when we pulled into a small factory where traditional Vietnam paintings made from eggshells and seashells were manufactured. Laughing told the government built the factory to enable area residents who had suffered birth defects after American use of poison gas during the war. I assumed he meant Agent Orange. Throughout the day, Laughing never missed an opportunity to regurgitate the anti-American propaganda he’d been fed his whole life.

Anyway, the factory was NOT part of the tour package and it was only mildly interesting to see the process used by the workers in creating their art. And surprise, surprise the guide led us into a large showroom full of completed objects available for our purchase. For the first of many times I muttered “this is bullshit”.

In due course we made on way onward to the Cu Chi tunnels that had been instrumental in the North’s attacks on the South throughout the war. It was a pretty impressive engineering fete, no question about it. Laughing’s commentary about the means and methods used to kill the American invaders got old pretty fast though. I found myself biting my tongue to avoid asking what about the South Vietnamese Army troops, who far outnumbered the Yanks, were as fun to kill as well. Anyway, you get the idea. And I acknowledge that the victor gets to write the history of the war in the manner of his choosing. Hell, I was a vocal opponent of the war back then, but something about Laughing’s gleeful stories about how the wise Viet Cong lured the foolish Americans into their gruesome traps was off-putting. I was glad to finally depart for the Mekong portion of the tour.

We stopped for lunch along the way and I’ll have to give credit where it is due, it was a damn fine meal. I’m going to do a “foodie” post tomorrow, so I’ll save that story and photos until then.

The Mekong was disappointing as well, or to be fair, not what I expected. I was envisioning a river cruise, instead we boarded a derelict river boat and went to the other side. Upon arrival, we were served a honey tea and some banana chips. Both were quite good. Then Laughing came around with a beehive and talked about how the honey was used in several “miracle” products to improve health and skin. And wouldn’t you know it? Those products just happened to be available for purchase. I thought now that is real B.S. (bee shit). I did buy some overpriced banana chips which were quite tasty.

Next we walked a bit up the river to a place where we were treated to some traditional Vietnamese music. I’m sorry, the Vietnamese spoken language is even more grating on the ears than Chinese. At least to me. And when sung it sounds like high pitched screeching. The instruments were twangy but not unpleasant however. Tip boxes were conveniently brought around to our tables and of course I contributed. After all, the did stop singing and that was a behavior worth rewarding!

We then walked some more, boarded golf carts for a bit, then walked through some yards (felt like Hashing almost), and then boarded some canoe like things for a ride down a canal and back to the riverside. We were encouraged to tip the boat rowers, and hell, they deserved it managing to move our fat asses downstream.

Once back on the river shore we were given a demonstration of how coconut candy was made. Didn’t much care about that, although the sample was tasty enough. And of course, they had some for sale. No thanks!

Back on the boat at last and we were provided some coconut juice (still in the shell) to enjoy. Then we boarded the van for the two hour ride back to Saigon, where we arrived at 6:00 p.m. It was a long day of touring and it took several hours of beer drinking last night to wash the taste out of my mouth. Here’s the photos:

A tunnel. I went into one but didn’t stay long. It required crawling around on my hands and knees to get through. No thanks!
One of the booby traps used to kill or maim American soldiers. No mention of the South Vietnam troops though.
Laughing took great pleasure in describing the way these traps caused painful injuries made worse by trying to escape.
More traditional killing machines were also on display…
By the end of the tour I was ready to kick some Viet Cong ass, not withstanding my opposition to the war…
An hour and a half later we stopped at this rest area for lunch. Nicest rest area I’ve ever seen and the food was quite good.
We finally arrived at the Mekong river…
And boarded this piece of shit for a river ride.
That’s Laughing describing how clean and wonderful the Mekong waters are, despite the brown color.
If you say so…
The bees that shit to make the honey that makes the miracle cures that just happened to be on sale…
Then it was time for a pain in the ears. Not saying they weren’t talented, just not to my liking.
Down this creek we were destined to travel…
Thankfully, we had two locals to do the paddling…
That would be me back aboard our river yacht enjoying some coconut juice.
And then a two hour ride back to Saigon. I’m told there are 7 million motorbikes in the city and I believe it…
I’m not sure what it is about a Vietnamese gal on a bike that trips my triggers. Oh wait, maybe she’s right!
Finished the night with beers and music from a Filipino band. Much easier on my old man ears, that’s for sure.

Alright, dinner plans tonight and hopefully something worthwhile to add to my foodie post tomorrow. Stay tuned!

First impressions

So far, so good. Still feeling my way around Saigon/HCMC, but I rather like it. In fact, Vietnam is now ahead of Cambodia as a “Plan B” option should life in the Philippines not work out. Saigon (I prefer that name and will use it henceforth) is comparatively clean (isn’t everywhere compared to the PI?), modern, and bustling. I have never in my life seen so many damn motor scooters! I’m pressed for time this afternoon, so let’s let the photos do the talking.

DAY 1: Nice airport, only hold up was the visa process took about 30 minutes, but sailed through immigration/customs. Hotel transportation was there waiting and whisked us to the Lotus Central hotel.

It is a clean and functional 8 story hotel and I’m very comfortable here so far. Around 50 bucks a night.
Room is smallish, bed is comfortable, wifi works well.
Seeing this put a smile on my face. I do miss my bidet days…
Up on the roof is this lovely swimming pool which I’ve not used and probably won’t. In fact, I haven’t seen anyone else using it either…
The rooftop also affords beautiful views of the city like this one. This is similar to the view from my room, only 2 floors down.
Another shot of the Saigon skyline…
My first meal in Vietnam was this chicken dish for lunch. Big bag of fries came with it. It was in this back alley cafe near my hotel where I enjoyed street side dining…
And my first Vietnamese beer.

I did a quick walk around the neighborhood, then had to get ready for a meetup with some old friends from my Seoul days who live here now. I had an address and a Grab driver dropped me off at said address. But there was no bar to be seen there. So I walked over to the bar district and started asking other bar patrons where Shooters bar might be. Most didn’t know or gave me wrong directions. Finally, an American in a bar was able to give me specific detailed guidance on reaching my destination. Which took me right back to where the Grab car had left me. What the hell? About that time my friend Alex arrived.

He apologized for the confusion and pointed up to the 3rd floor. I still didn’t see it as the bar has absolutely no signage. We walked into what looked like an office lobby and took an elevator upstairs.

It’s a tiny place, even smaller than Alley Cats, my local darts venue in the PI. Very narrow, but has 4 dart boards with computerized scoring. Actually very nicely done.

I got drafted to play with Alex’s team in a league match against the top rated team in Saigon. We got our asses kicked, but I did manage to win a best of 5 singles match 3-1. So, I can add Vietnam to the countries in which I’ve played competitive darts (USA, Korea, Japan, Thailand, Cambodia, Philippines).

And it was of course really great catching up with my old mates John (on the left) and Alex.
After darts I walked back to the hotel. A little drunk but not hungry enough to eat here (yet).
Settled for nice bowl of chicken pho at a place near the hotel. Sorry the pic is so shitty. Maybe I was drunker than I remember.

Day 2: Took a good long walk in the city to see what I could see. Saw the Ho Chi Minh museum with some captured American tanks and planes out front and thought about having a looksee, but changed my mind thinking I’d find the actual war museum I’d heard about. I didn’t though.

There was this cool tree though…

I guess snapping that photo tagged me as a tourist because the vendors descended upon me. One guy actually started “repairing” my shoes with glue. I’m like WTF, no thanks! But he kept right on. Then he untied my shoe and that was enough, I just walked away.

A Saigon street. Those cycle and hammer banners are everywhere…
A monument to some past hero I suppose. Crossing streets here is insane for a pedestrian. I read somewhere that you are suppose to just keep your stride and pace as you cross and the motorbikes and cares will avoid you. I tried that and I guess it worked, or at least I wasn’t hit. Later I crossed with some locals and I noticed that they did in fact slow down to let cars and bikes go past. Geez, it’s a mystery how anyone lives to tell the tale of crossing some of these busy highways. Heh, I guess I just did though, didn’t I?
Made it to the banks of the Saigon river. I’m still considering taking one of these “water buses” while I’m here, but haven’t yet. Tomorrow I’m doing an all day tour to the Mekong river delta…
Needed some liquid refreshment and spied this rooftop bar name Sai Gone. Cold beer and hot waitresses! I was the only customer for awhile…
Enjoyed “Cheap Charlies” like views, although the street action featured many young Vietnamese women instead of the old men of Barretto….

Met an American couple from California enjoying their honeymoon and shared some beers with them. I’m now Facebook friends with the wife! It started raining hard about the time I was planning to leave, so what could I do? Stay for more beer of course! Hey, I’m on vacation!

It was back to Sai Gon that night where I expected to meet some Hashers. I didn’t see any. Later as one guy was leaving he saw my Hash attire and said I could join them for a run on Sunday. Meet up at the Caravelle hotel. Let’s see if I can find it.

Very drunk end to the day, but once again I successfully found my way back home to the hotel. Day 3 report will have to wait as I have plans for more explorations in the bar district tonight and need to prepare.

Peace out!

One lifetime, many lives–Chapter 5: Working for a living (part 2, safety first!)

The story of a lifetime continues. Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, part 1.

1985-1986–Safety Specialist, USPS–Fort Smith, AR

Bobbie McLane was the Human Resources Director, my first boss as a member of management, and a great mentor. I needed that, because I was pretty much clueless.

How clueless? This clueless: After I had applied for the safety job but before I was interviewed, there was a labor-management meeting scheduled up in Fayetteville. Bobbie came down to my work station and asked if I’d like to ride to the meeting with her. I politely declined. I mean, after all, I was the union steward; I didn’t want it to appear I was cavorting with management! A bit later, Bobbie’s secretary came to see me and asked me “John, don’t you want the safety job?” I told her of course I did. She gave me a look that said “are you really that stupid?” but the words she used were “Bobbie wanted you to ride with her so she could get to know you better and talk about the job”. Oh shit! Well, I made sure I was seated with Bobbie for lunch and a few days later it was announced that I had been selected as the Fort Smith, Arkansas Management Sectional Center (MSC) Safety Specialist.

I was actually quite surprised to have been picked because I had absolutely zero background or training in safety. I had met with Bobbie numerous times in my union capacity and she told me she picked me for the safety job because she liked the way I handled myself in those meetings. I guess that just goes to prove that sometimes it’s not what you know, but who you know. And that’s not always a bad thing.

So that first year I spent several weeks at the Postal Service training facility in Potomac, MD learning how to do my job. Most of the courses were two or three weeks in duration, which gave me a good opportunity to explore DC on weekends, a city I had never previously visited. I wound up doing quite a bit of traveling, and I came to enjoy meeting women the perks associated with traveling on the government dime. I’m just now recalling a wild time an important meeting in Chicago. And in kind of a weird turn of events, I was attending an accident investigation course in Norman, Oklahoma on the day the space shuttle Challenger exploded.

One of the nice things about working in a small MSC (consisting of around 100 post offices in Northwest Arkansas) was that I was given the opportunity to take on additional duties and fill various voids that were not staffed. For example, I was designated as the MSC Public Affairs Officer, where I answered media inquires and dealt with disgruntled customers. It was pretty cool to come home from work one day and have my kids excitedly tell me “daddy, we saw you on TV today!”.

Bobbie started having me write her grievance decisions as well and once she was satisfied that I was firmly in management’s camp I became her designee for dealing with the union. It was strange at first to be arguing over labor disputes from a management perspective, but I reasoned it was really just about interpreting the words in the collective bargaining agreement.

Labor relations work was what I liked best so I started applying for labor vacancies all over the country. I got interviewed for a job in Charleston, SC and selected for one in Columbia, SC. So I loaded up my family (had a new wife now) and made the move. I felt bad about leaving Bobbie in the lurch after all that training and only 18 months or so on the job. But as a good HR manager should be, she was happy to see me progress in my career and was glad that she had given me the opportunity to learn and grow.

Will you still need me?

Will you still feed me? Because now I’m 64.

Obviously, the answer to Paul McCartney’s question, posed in a song, at least in my case, is no! All the women that I have loved or who have purported to love me, disappeared from my life long before I reached the ripe old age of 64. Heh! They don’t know what they’re missing!

Anyway, it’s rather amusing to look back to those youthful days when that tune was a hit. I had no concept of what being 64 meant, other than it made you ancient. But now that I’m here, I don’t feel particularly old and/or decrepit. I’m certainly more active than I’ve been in years. This morning’s weekly stats report from Fitbit offer confirmation:

  • 160,404 steps taken, for an average of 22.915 per day. That exceeds my 20,000 daily step goal.
  • I walked 123.28 kilometers last week. Not bad for an old guy!
  • I burned an average of 3766 calories per day, which is a good thing given the beer calories I’ve been consuming.
  • I’m getting 6.36 hours of sleep per night which is about right for me.
  • My resting heart rate averages 64 beats per minute, which is a healthy sign.
  • The blood pressure (assisted by meds) is consistently in the high 120s/ low 130s range, with diastolic readings at 90 or below. So, while not ideal it is far better than it used to be and good enough for an old fucker I reckon.
  • I could stand to lose another 10 to 15 pounds (I’m currently at 203). Damn ice cream!

Suffice to say, as much as it sucks to get old, it beats the hell out of the alternative. So I intend to keep on keeping on.

You know, I do sometimes fantasize about Japanese porn going back in time. Like say, 50 years ago. In 1969 I was entering my freshman year of high school. If I only knew then what I know today! Lots of things I’d do differently of course, but then, I’d likely make other mistakes, and no telling how that might turn out. Still, it’s kind of fun to think about the life I’d live both before and after purchasing IPO stock in Microsoft, Apple, and Google.

Maybe that’s all just a pipe dream, but I was walking down the highway the other day and I got pretty excited when I saw this:

Alas, it seems to be a case of false advertising. They weren’t selling tickets for a journey to the past after all…

So it looks like I’m stuck with the life I’ve lived. And the one that is yet to come. My body may be older than it was, but in my mind this is what I see:

Everybody’s so different, I haven’t changed. Well, I am drinking higher quality beer these days, so there’s that.


“Age has no reality except in the physical world. The essence of a human being is resistant to the passage of time. Our inner lives are eternal, which is to say that our spirits remain as youthful and vigorous as when we were in full bloom. Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the alpha and omega. An end in itself.” 


― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

Yesterday was Hash day and it was a bit of a fiasco of my own making. After a morning full of sunshine the rains came pouring down in torrents in the hours preceding the Hash. I made the decision before I left the house that I wasn’t going to go climbing up in the mountains under these conditions. So I carried my umbrella instead of my walking stick. And wouldn’t you know it? Just a few minutes prior to departure time the rain stopped, the sky turned blue, and the sun was shining brightly. The Hares to their credit, went back out to remark the trail, and most of the kennel followed them shortly thereafter. I stuck by my decision and just walked the streets for an hour, but by all accounts it was a perfectly fine trail. I really regretted being such a wuss.

So, I get to our “On-Home” at Midnight Rambler ahead of the group and grab a menu. I rarely go to this venue other than for the Hash. They have a small restaurant run by a Brit and called the BBC. And they had a whole menu page devoted to pies:

It’s apparently their specialty! I splurged on the Cornish Pasty because I’d never had one before.
This is what it looked like. Now, clearly I could see the difference in a pasty from the pies I’d experienced at other restaurants. And I could see how they had folded up the crust in a similar fashion as I’d seen Kevin Kim demonstrate on his blog.
Now, mine was supposed to come with mashed potatoes instead of chips, but I was there for pasty, so what does it matter?
And this was by far my best meat pie/pasty experience yet. The crust was firm without being dry, tasty without overwhelming the delicious and plentiful meat. So, Midnight Rambler/BBC is the place to go in Barretto when you have a hankering for this English delicacy. At least so far.

As I dined on my flavorful pasty, the Hashers trickled in from the trail and I felt like a heel for not having been out with them. But more beers eased that pain. And then it was time for the Hash circle.

Now, there is a Hash tradition that honors Harriers celebrating birthdays by preparing them a cake. I had hoped to avoid this recognition given that my birthday was the following day, but apparently that was close enough. And so I got my cake:

Eggs, flour, sugar, oil, and some yeast in the form of beer. All mixed together on my head. I was thankful there was no oven nearby!

And that was last night. Nothing special about today thus far. Grocery shopping, a brief walk, and I guess some sort of get together at Alley Cats later this afternoon.

Time marches on and so do I.


When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty four?

Ranger danger

For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to have a little adventure with my afternoon walk yesterday. Maybe it was just to punish myself for being lazy on Saturday. Whatever the cause, I took a climb up into unfamiliar territory. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve done lately, but I did it anyway.

As I started out from Alta Vista I encountered a local standing on the path holding a machete. “Where you go?” he asked. “Just gonna climb the mountain”, I told him, nodding towards the hillside in front of me. He gave me a funny look, shrugged, and I proceeded onward. I knew whereabouts I wanted to get to and figured I’d find a trail going in that direction. But the first path I took just petered out, and the next one I took seemed to go in the wrong direction. Not being able to discern other viable options, I continued onward. The trail meandered for a ways and then commenced to turn steeply upwards. It was a slick and muddy climb and I thought to myself “glad I’m not trying to come down this way”. Made it to the top and then the trail just seemed to disappear.

This is what I was faced with. Grass over eight feet tall. Tough to walk through, leaving some scratches on my arms and legs. But worse was not being able to clearly see where I was placing my feet. At one point I noticed that if I took a step to the left I’d be falling down a very steep hillside. That freaked me out so I retreated. I wasn’t willing to go back the way I came though as that seemed to involve a similarly perilous hike down. So, I reoriented my position on the mountain and cautiously made my way forward.

It seems people don’t hike up there this time of year for a reason. I resolved that once I found a trail, any trail, I would take it wherever it went. This overland shit was a sucker’s bet. And good fortune was with me because I did come across a pretty decent path about ten minutes later.

I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy views like this…
And in the other direction, a nice overlook of my hometown, Barrio Barretto.

So, through blind (almost literally) luck, I had reached the mountain top I had been wanting to achieve. Now, where would this mystery path take me next?

I know that valley well. Wasn’t real sure how to get there from here though…
I continued onward (like I had a choice) and eventually things started to look familiar. And lo and behold, I found myself at this four-way intersection on the infamous My Bitch trail. I could have turned left here and been back safe and sound in Alta Vista in twenty minutes time. Ah, but where’s the fun in that? So instead I turned to the right, thinking that would lead me down to Columban College in Barretto.
Although I knew I was heading generally in the right direction, I didn’t recall walking through this area of shacks previously. I always feel a little uncomfortable invading the privacy of the mountain dwellers, but I had no alternative. Didn’t actually see any people, but judging by the laundry hung out to dry, they were indeed occupied.
And just a tad further up the trail I came across the “fresh” water supply of the locals.
I sure was glad my name isn’t “N. Santos”. Poor bastard isn’t allowed to trespass.
And then at last I found myself on the familiar steps leading back down to civilization. Such as it is…
The back side of Columban College. Which is actually a private (Catholic) high school.
From the relative safety of the streets of Barretto, I gandered back up to where I had been.

I came. I saw. I conquered. I walked back home.

Today I was back out marking the trail for today’s Hash with my co-Hare, Pubic Head. Basically the same trail we laid four weeks ago that got rained out. It’s plenty cloudy out there right now but I’m hoping our luck holds out this time. You can look forward to a full report on that tomorrow.


You’ll never say hello to you
Until you get it on the red line overload
You’ll never know what you can do
Until you get it up as high as you can go


Out along the edges
Always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity


Highway to the danger zone
Gonna take you
Right into the danger zone

One lifetime, many lives– Chapter 5: Working for a living (part 1, the check is in the mail)

The story of a lifetime continues. Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4.

I reckon the time we spend in pursuit of the almighty dollar our working life transcends most every other chapter within our lifetime. It makes sense really given that for most of us we are selling 1/3 (or more) of every day for a paycheck.

Obviously our chosen career paths are not really a form of slavery or servitude. In fact, work is often a source of fulfillment and satisfaction that only comes from being a productive member of society. There is a sense of purpose and meaning as you resolve issues, complete projects, and contribute to the success of your organization. And of course it is good to have money to pay the bills.

Looking back from the vantage point of just over a year into my second retirement, I can honestly say that what I miss the most are the people I met along the way. The social interactions and friendships stand out much more than any of the big decisions that turned out right or any other accomplishments I might have achieved. Building relationships at work made me who I am much more than the actual work did.

And here’s the rundown of the actual work:

Before Government: I guess my first “real” job was as a paperboy for the Los Angeles Herald-Examiner when I was around 12 years old. By high school I was doing the usual bullshit work–car wash, pizza parlor cook, flagman at a motorcycle racetrack. After HS I graduated to such things as convenience store clerk, plastics fabricator, and route salesman. Then my baby girl came along and it was time to get serious. Or at least get a job with some benefits.

1976-1984–Letter Carrier, United States Postal Service (USPS)

To achieve employment with the Post Office required taking and passing the entrance examination. Your score on that test would be your place in the hiring queue. The test was offered for each individual post office, and since I was living in Orange County, California I had the opportunity to take the test several times.

I recall my first attempt was a passing effort but my score being in the low 80’s meant I was unlikely to ever be reached for hire (military veterans had 5 or 10 points added to their score). But each time I took the test my score would improve. I also developed some test taking techniques that helped. There was one long section of the test that was timed. I had difficulty completing that portion within the allotted time largely because you had to color in those answer circles completely. The testing monitor was always the same woman and I knew she took a smoke break while we completed an untimed test portion. So, instead of coloring in the circles, I just ticked them. Then while she was outside smoking I went back and colored them in correctly. Now, I don’t consider that cheating, just creative test taking. Regardless, I eventually got my score up to 95% and was subsequently hired at the Anaheim, CA post office.

I made it through my 90 day probation period and became a full fledged government employee. I actually enjoyed carrying mail and was a good and conscientious employee. My supervisor didn’t much like me though, in part because I was a smart ass. Hard to imagine, I know. One day my boss came out to do some “street supervision”. He asked me what I had left to deliver and I said just this apartment complex. He responded well, that will only take 30 minutes. I told him “maybe YOU can do it in 30 minutes, it’s gonna take me an hour”. I guess that pissed him off because when I got back to the office he issued me a letter of warning for insubordination.

And that’s how I became a shop steward with the National Association of Letter Carriers (NALC). The bogus discipline was overturned and I went on to represent other employees subjected to the arbitrary and capricious whims of management. I rather enjoyed my union work!

After my son was born in 1978 the wife and I wanted to get the hell out of Southern Cal and raise our kids in a healthier environment. And I was lucky enough to have my transfer request to Prescott, Arizona accepted. Damn, I loved living there! In due course I was elected to be President of NALC Branch #859. The good times ended with my marriage and it was time to move on. I needed help as a single father and my mom was in Oklahoma willing to provide it. So I transferred out to Fort Smith, Arkansas. I will always recall the words of my supervisor at my going away party in Prescott: “John, with this move you will achieve the rare accomplishment of raising the collective IQ of both Arizona and Arkansas!” Heh. Maybe he was right.

So, I continued on with the life of a letter carrier and shop steward n Fort Smith. They had this stupid concept of a van pool where five carriers would be driven out to their routes and dropped off. My route had the highest volume of mail so guess what, it took me longer to sort it. Which meant four other guys stood around waiting. Which made the supervisor upset. One day he came over to tell me to hurry it up and I responded “I only have two speeds, and if you don’t like this one you are going to HATE the other one. I got disciplined for that too but once again had it overturned in the grievance process.

Things were changing for me though. It was hot and humid in summer and I wasn’t used to that kind of weather. I kept waiting for winter to come but when it did I was slipping and sliding on ice all day long. But mostly the job had just become mind-numbingly boring. Some days I would carry my entire route and not even remember doing so because I had been fantasizing about a different life (one fantasy was becoming a professional gambler in Las Vegas). A woman I had met on my mail route, Iris Breed, was the director of the Fort Smith Girls Club. She encouraged me to apply for jobs in management saying I was wasting my intellectual talent carrying a mail satchel. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained I suppose. I applied for the Safety Specialist vacancy and surprise, surprise, I was selected!

Let me close out the history of my life as a mailman with this story:



It was a cold winter’s day in December and as I walked up to the porch of a house to deliver some letters, the front door opened and an attractive woman said “oh, you look so cold! Would you like to come in for some hot chocolate? I responded “that sounds great!” and she let me inside. As she served the cocoa to me, her robe fell open and I couldn’t help but notice she was wearing a see-through negligee underneath.


Well, one thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was in the bedroom with her having some pretty wild sex. When we were finished, she reached over to the nightstand, opened the drawer, and pulled out a dollar bill. I was confused and asked her “what’s this for?”. She shrugged and told me “when I asked my husband what should we give the mailman for Christmas, he said fuck the mailman, give him a dollar!”

Hey, it could have happened!

Now what?

A nothingburger kinda day around here. Woke up feeling shitty, if you know what I mean. Also had nausea which is pretty unusual for me. In fact, I started retching but I guess there was nothing left in my stomach to expel through the throat rather than the anus. But enough about me!

Hey, wait a minute. This blog is about me, what the hell else am I going to write about? Let’s get on with it.

So, the usual Saturday night routine (hell, EVERY night). Had a few cold ones at Cheap Charlies while flirting with my Muslim bargirl friend, Maya. Then decided to change things up and try somewhere different for a change. In all the years I’ve been coming to Barretto I never made it into a bar named Wild Paradise, so I gave it a try. I was immediately besieged by several thirsty bargirls who proceeded to massage my arms and back. Another gal plopped herself down next to me and commenced to massaging my crotch (outside my shorts of course). I told them I only wanted to sit with one girl but they all continued on with their rubbing behavior. After a bit, the bartender came by and asked if I wanted to purchase lady drinks for the girls. I told her I was only going to buy one and naturally I chose Josie, that gal with the deft touch sitting next to me. I gave each of the other gals a 20 peso tip (40 cents) and they thankfully left me alone.

I chatted up Josie some but she didn’t have much of interest to say. She had a cute face but her body wasn’t in great shape for a 35 year old. Talented hands though, and she did get a rise out of me. *ahem* I finished my beer and she suggested I might enjoy a blow job. I looked around to see if there was a room for that kind of thing on premises, but she indicated we need to book a short time room. Eh, too much hassle. I told her “next time” although it is doubtful there will be one. I’m not that lonely yet anyway.

I left Wild Paradise and crossed the street to check out Double D’s, a videoke joint I sometimes frequent. There were some Filipinos inside singing badly and I wasn’t feeling it. As I turned to leave, Jhen, one of the girls that work there, popped her head out for a chat. And the first thing she asked about was the lipstick on my mouth. Oops, I’d forgotten about the goodbye kiss Josie had just given me. We had a laugh about that before I made my way on up the highway.

My next stop was one of the few girly bars I occasionally patronize, Wet Spot. Oh, for those that don’t know, the distinction between what I call a “girly bar” and the others is that girly bars have dancers on stage to entice you to purchase lady drinks and perhaps take out sex. Cheap Charlies and Wild Paradise have “GRO’s” (Guest Relations Officers) who will sit and chat and make you feel special as long as you are buying them lady drinks. In Cheap Charlies, that’s all you get–no take out. As I learned last night, obviously that’s not the case at Wild Paradise.

Which reminds me of an incident that happened at Cheap Charlies earlier this week. One of Maya’s friends was complaining about a customer who had offered to buy her a lady drink provided she let him finger her. Now, as I mentioned, CC isn’t that kind of bar. And even in those kind of bars, you don’t finger a girl in the bar. And oh by the way, to get a girl for take out is usually around 2000 to 3000 pesos ($40-$60). The commission a girl makes on a lady drink is around a dollar. So, this guy (probably an ignorant tourist) was doubly insulting.

I decided to rectify the situation by buying the offended lass a drink. And when it arrived I told her in a voice that I was hoping the asshole customer would hear “now I’m going to finger you!”. The expression on her face was priceless, and then I raised up my middle finger in the universal “fuck you” salute. She and Maya burst out laughing. Fun times!

Anyway, back at Wet Spot I bought a couple of drinks for my dancer friend Anna. I’ve mentioned her before, she has five kids that I’ve “adopted” as my charity project. Anyway, her big news was that her 17 year old daughter has managed to get herself pregnant. And so the cycle of poverty continues. Obviously mom is disappointed and so was I. I had thought if she had focused on her studies instead of boys I might consider helping fund her higher education. Oh well.

Anna’s other big news was that her 19 year old step daughter had just begun working in Rapscallion, the bar next door to Wet Spot. Well, what are you going to do? It’s a semi-honest living where you can an earn a comparatively decent salary (as opposed to working as a sales clerk at the mall for example). Anna was a little conflicted about this turn of events but really, what can she say without being a hypocrite? I teased that I was going to go Rapscallion next for some take out (yeah, I’m a barrel of laughs). But I did offer to buy the step daughter a lady drink. So Anna went and got her (the bars in “the Maze” have a reciprocal agreement, the girls get a commission on drinks regardless of where it is consumed).

So here I am sitting next to a teenage girl in hot pants and trying hard to remain gentlemanly. Actually, it wasn’t hard at all (not THAT pervert, the situation!) as I am not tempted by girls that young. Late 20’s is about as low as I will go. Still, it was past my bedtime and it was a weird circumstance sitting with mom and daughter in a girly bar. So we finished our drinks and I said my goodnights and departed.

And I actually had the good sense to go straight home and I didn’t get run over on the highway. A nice happy ending!

Today, I managed to walk my dogs before the rains started and not much else. I considered doing my afternoon walk anyway, but thought better of it given the delicate state of my stomach.

And there you have a slice of my so-called life here in the Philippines.


You keep calling me
On the telephone
You say you’re all alone
Well that’s real sad

And you keep leavin’
Notes stuck on my door
Guess you’re hungry for some more
Girl that’s too bad

‘Cause I ain’t that lonely yet
No I ain’t that lonely yet
After what you put me through
Oh, I ain’t that lonely yet