Stayed home on Saturday night and chilled by watching some DVDs. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m pretty much out of touch with the movie world these days, so my purchases tend to be of the hit and miss variety. Don’t know if the overall quality of American cinema is slipping or if I’m just making bad choices in my ignorance.

Anyway, here what I watched:

License to Wed. Starring Robin Williams, Mandy Moore and John Krasinski (the guy from The Office).

This movie was so bad it actually made me cringe. Totally predicable and flat out lame. In addition to bad acting, bad writing, and a storyline that was ridiculously improbable; it just wasn’t funny. Although it tried to be. Too hard. If I hadn’t been too lazy to drag my sorry ass off the couch I would have put in something else one third of the way through. But lord, it was painful to watch.

Reign Over Me. Starring Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle.

Actually, Adam Sandler did a surprisingly good job in a dramatic role. I don’t think it is too much of a spoiler to say he plays a man who lost his wife, three daughters, and his dog during the 9/11 attacks. Cheadle encounters the shell of the man who once was his college roommate and fellow dentist and sets about trying to save him. But Cheadle needed saving himself from the domestic quagmire his seemingly happy married life had become. Quite emotionally intense in places, but I found it pretty moving and well done overall. At least it was worth my time.

Butterfly on A Wheel. Starring Pierce Brosnan, Maria Bello and Gerard Butler (never heard of the last two, have you?).

Well, this story had potential. It was nice to see Brosnan playing the bad guy, and he actually pulled it off. I’m probably going to have a spoiler or two the rest of the way, so proceed at your peril. Butler is married to Bellow and they have a young daughter. Their life at home seems happy enough with outward appearances of love and devotion and all that. Butler is quite an asshole at work, but justifies it as being the survival of the fittest kinda deal. So, Brosnan is laying in wait in the backseat of the couples Range Rover and indicates that the babysitter has their child hostage. If they ever want to see her again, they will do exactly as he says for the next 24 hours. So, he makes them jump through a series of increasingly difficult hoops that pretty much will wind up destroying Butler’s career and puts some strains on the the relationship with the wife.

Now, as the movie progresses you are caught up in why Brosnan’s character is being such an asshole. You think maybe the guy Butler recently screwed over at work is behind it, but you never really know. In the end it turns out the Butler was having an affair with Brosnan’s wife. Ok, maybe I should have seen that coming, but still it worked and he had gotten pretty good revenge. Then they ruined the whole movie by having Bello’s character in on the plot from from the beginning. You know, it just wasn’t believable. Especially when thinking back on the times during the movie when Brosnan and Bello were alone together, but she continued to play the terrified housewife. A plot hole big enough to drive a Mack truck through. I hate being dicked with that way. It actually pissed me off. So, if you did read the spoilers you saved yourself the two hours of life that I’ll never be able to get back. Bleh.

Ok, there you have my movie reviews. And yes, I know. Don’t quit my day job. Got it.

That’s Army talk for After Action Review. Which is what this is.

The Thanksgiving get together at Dolce Vita went extremely well. I was a little nervous about the turnout. We had two big turkeys and lots of side dishes. There was also a similar party going on at the VFW, so I was not sure how many folks would actually show up for our gig. Turns out we had a very full house. In fact, we had 26 folks sign up for the dart tourney, which was our biggest ever. 13 doubles teams playing on four boards in a double elimination format made for a long night, but we had plenty of food and of course Dolce was well stocked with all forms of liquid refreshment.

Lonnie really outdid himself with his contributions to the feast. Made a great green bean casserole, candied yams, tasty stuffing and his famous cheese dip. He topped it off by playing some fine darts and finished 3rd in the tourney.

We also had a little ceremony to honor Jim and YJ (owners of Dolce Vita) and to thank them for their outstanding support of the dart league. The Dolce teams took up a collection and we presented Jim and YJ will an all expense paid trip to JeJudo Island (the Hawaii of Korea, don’t ya know). Kudos to Grant for the idea and handling all the details with the travel agency.

At the tourney I was partnered up with Jesse of Dawg Pound and I just had one of those nights. In our first match I was lucky to get a one mark on most of my throws. So, we got into the the losers bracket right out of the box. We took our next two matches before going down to defeat against Dan and John R. Well, that was good enough for 4th place at least. Alistar from Scotland and Matt took first and shared the W200,000 payoff. Congrats.

My darts were a tad better in the Friday night tourney, taking a first in singles and a first in doubles. My ability to throw consistent darts remains elusive, but if it was easy it wouldn’t be much fun. Or so I keep telling myself.

Anyway, even by my standard the photos I took on Thursday were extremely poor. But by God, I’m going to post them regardless…

Matt carves the bird while Dan helps himself to the scraps. Nothing like teamwork…

Matt is focused on the task at hand…

Result! Two birds carved and ready for consumption.

Tera was the first to arrive and the first through the food line…

And John was not far behind. He’s an English guy, so maybe his distant ancestors were among the Pilgrims who participated in that first Thanksgiving feast. Hey, it could be possible…

So Yung is one of the Dolce bartenders. She rescheduled her day off so she wouldn’t miss out on the Thanksgiving dinner. And she loved my fruit salad so she is obviously a smart gal.

YJ claiming the pecan pie.

Jim and Lonnie.

Grant’s wife Myung Hee and her Canadian friend Margaret.

Now that we are all stuffed with turkey it’s time to get on with the darts. Here Jim collects the entry fees. The bar kicked in W100,000 which made the total purse W360,000. Not bad at all. Although my share of the payout didn’t cover my entry fee. Alas.

Here’s Jun at the oche (the line your foot can’t cross when throwing). Yeah, crappy photo. It’s hard to take a good dart picture because most folks don’t appreciate a flash when they are throwing…

Tom C. is one of the best darters in Itaewon. He taught me a lot about the sport and playing strategically. A great guy and a fine Soldier as well.

All right, I think that about covers it. Hope y’all had a great holiday.

Hard to believe but I am preparing to spend my third Thanksgiving in Korea. Hmm, I guess I’m not preparing at all, Thanksgiving is here regardless of whether I am prepared. So with that profound revelation out of the way we can move on.

Happy Thanksgiving to all Americans, wherever you may be. As a nation we continue to be blessed and on this one day of the year we can set aside the petty politics and give our heartfelt thanks for our freedom, our prosperity, and all the good fortunes that come with our birthright.

As we pause to give our thanks this year, please take time to remember the brave men and women who are guardians of the freedoms we cherish but too often take for granted. For without the sacrifices of our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines all that makes America great would not be possible. “Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” –George Orwell

To all those serving in the military, at home or abroad, I thank you and honor you for your service to our nation.

I am also thankful for my parents, my children, my sweet and beautiful granddaughter, my friends, the people who love me despite myself, my coworkers, and for all the undeserved opportunities that have allowed me to live a comfortable life. My complaints and worries are mere trifles, for I have indeed been blessed beyond all expectations.

So what is on the agenda today? I am going to make my world famous Aunt Pat’s recipe fruit salad. I will bake (i.e. take out of freezer, put in oven) two pumpkin pies and a pecan pie. I will drive to the base and pick up two fully prepared turkey dinners with all the fixin’s. And I will carry this bounty to Dolce Vita for our Thanksgiving celebration and dart tournament.

Yes, we are going to carry out that tradition that started over 300 years ago when the native Americans shared their harvest in a feast with the English pilgrims. And after the meal, the pilgrims taught the indians to play darts. Hey, you can look it up!

Well, I had my Korean lesson last night. Acquired some more verbs. So, let’s see, along with my approximately 200 word vocabulary, I can now use verbs for things like put on (separate ones for clothes, hat/glasses, and shoes and socks), and its useful counterpart “take off”, drink, eat, hear, see, walk, touch, smell, sleep, hot, cold, say, and my personal favorite “hay-yo” (no, I still don’t have Hangul software. Any ideas?). I used “hay-yo” some at work today. Like every time I gave my secretary something to do. I’m told it translates as “do it”. She kinda didn’t like it though. Maybe its rude to give work and say do it? She did say my pronunciation was getting better everyday, so that’s something I guess. Now, if I could actually remember how to say these things without the freaking word staring me in the face I might feel more of a sense of accomplishment. Little by little (heh, poco a poco in Spanish) I suppose.

My lesson is moving from Tuesday to Saturday. I’m usually pretty worn out after work and my tutor is probably tired of me being too brain dead to get the value of her well-prepared lessons. And she really does work hard at teaching me. Always makes up a little game to play using what I learned. You know, just like in kindergarten. Don’t believe me? Check out my workbooks:

Yes indeed. I am the master of my universe. And how many of us get the opportunity to be six years old again?

Anyway, I am reading pretty well, but my comprehension still sucks. It’s funny, I will read something and sound it out (in see Dick run fashion), and be thinking what the hell does that mean? Example, coming home the other day I read the back of the tour bus in front of me. I’m like: Duh ee na stee. Duh ee na stee. No clue. Then I notice the small English lettering underneath: Dynasty. Yeah bud, I’m still pretty much clueless. But I’m trying.

Grocery shopping. Which is not something I would normally do on Saturday. I don’t like to hassle with Itaewon weekend traffic. But apparently at some point on Friday night I agreed to have some friends over for dinner. Which required the unscheduled trip to the commissary.

Actually, traffic wasn’t too bad. But the commissary was packed. The checkout line wrapped almost all the way down the frozen foods section (they use a one line queue system, get to the front of the line and get the next available cashier, which is good because it takes the guesswork out of which lane will move the fastest). It seemed as if everyone with a ration card had decided to do their Thanksgiving grocery shopping at the precise time I made my appearance. So it was pretty much playing shopping cart bumper cars, but what are you gonna do?

You know, Kevin at Hairy Chasms often does photo shoots of some of the delicacies he concocts in his spartan kitchen. The man can definitely cook. As can most of his friends, given the frequency of links to other blogging chefs. I freely admit that I lack all but the most rudimentary culinary skills. It just doesn’t seem fair. No, I don’t mind that I can’t cook. But damn it, I’m trying hard to post something everyday and it just doesn’t seem right that a whole potential category of blogging is denied me. So the hell with that. For your entertainment I offer a photographic record of last night’s adventure in the kitchen. Perhaps you will find beauty in the simplicity of my endeavor. Or not.

My bounty from the commissary.

The ingredients for my dinner party meal.

The appetizers.

The salad.

The side dishes.

The bread.

The meat.

The dessert.

The wine.

Ok, now it is time to get down to business and whip these raw materials into a meal. Pay close attention and perhaps one day you too will be able to experience the miracle of no talent meal preparation.

Pie out of box and onto cookie sheet. Not as simple as it may appear. First I had to consult the internet to discover that 375F equates to 190.56C. With this information in hand I was able to correctly preheat the oven.

Pie is in the oven. You know, situational awareness is the key to success in my kitchen. For example, the pie takes over an hour to bake and then has to cool for two hours. Timing baby. It’s all about timing!

Ok, let’s make a salad. First thing to do is boil them eggs.

Lettuce into bowl. The tricky part here was pouring from the bag while taking the photo with my left hand. It was a struggle, but it worked out.

Cucumber skinned and sliced.

A few carrot slivers or shavings or scrapings (I think learning the cooking lingo is the first step to making people believe you can cook).

Here’s a tip: It ain’t a salad without tomato. You may also be interested to know that the Korean word for tomato is: TOH MAW TOH.

Ok, it is best to let the eggs cool before you attempt to slice them. The yolk was all over the place. Heh, the YOLK was on me! Sorry.

You know, grated cheese is one of those magic ingredients that goes with almost everything. At least almost everything I prepare.

So you put it all together and you shake it all about (have the lid on tight!) and that my friends is a tossed salad. Not real pretty to look at, but tasty. Dressing selections were limited to Italian and blue cheese as I discovered that my thousand island and poppy seed bottles were out of date. I’m a strict adherent to the “use by” date on the label. I think that’s part of being a good citizen. Like not removing the tags from your mattress. Rules are what bind the fabric of society together. Here is where to buy an adjustable bed easily. But you know that already, right?

Did you know that 38% of all accidents in the kitchen are caused by fatigue? You didn’t? Well, then prove that I am wrong! I was exhausted after tossing that salad around, so I took a break for a smoke and coke. And carefully considered my next steps. Planning, people. A good plan will get you where you want to go. A bad plan is defined as a good plan that didn’t work out. Got that?

Ok, back to work. Time to prepare the beef. Yes sir, those are rib eyes. USDA choice cuts. I say if you are going to ruin meat, only the best will do. You know, I bought that cookie sheet when I first moved in only to discover that it is too large for my oven (see the good/bad plan definition above). Well, it is perfect for marinating, so the good plan that went bad worked out good in the end. I think that pretty much sums up the way I’ve lived my life come to think of it.

Another tedious step in the preparation process. Pouring a liquid while holding a camera can be perilous, but using the hand-eye coordination I’ve developed as a darter really paid off and I successfully completed this task.

Pie out of the oven…

…potatoes in. I’ll tell you, sometimes cooking can be like a well-choreographed ballet. Oh yeah, use oven mitts.

Now it is finally time to fire up the grill and cook that sausage. Has anyone been to South of the Border? As Pedro says, you never sausage a place.

The appetizers are ready for consumption. Now comes the hard part.

The garlic bread is ready and waiting to go into the oven currently occupied by the potatoes. The cobbed corn is in the microwave…

…and the steaks are on the grill!

Uh oh! I’m having a little trouble controlling my fire. One of the guests requested well done and damn at this rate it’s gonna be blackened ribeyes for all!

Well, overcooked but edible. The guests were hungry and respectfully requested that I put down the frickin’ camera and let them eat. As a good host I complied with those wishes. And after two bottles of wine and full stomachs everyone decided it was time to hit the Itaewon bars.

And so we did.

So, in keeping with the theme of my working life, here’s a photo of my coworkers (well, the picture was taken on October 11, so my coworkers at that time).

My new family in Korea.

L-R Front Row: Corine Rodriguez; Kim, Yong-im; Yi, Kyong-ae; Sharon Alsop; Yi, Yong-in; So, Chong Cho; Yi, Tok Hui; Joel Springer
L-R Back Row: Choe, Song Won; Donna Cole; Kim, Yong-tae; Me; Bill Dyer; Leora Andersen; Bosong Mayer. (not pictured: Walt Washington)

Handsome group, eh? You can see our cool shed that serves as office space in the background.

So, since October 11 here’s what changed: Walt died. Corine left for a job in DC. Joel left for a promotion in HR at Installation Management Command-Korea. Donna has accepted a lateral assignment at the Civilian Personnel Advisory Center (CPAC) in Yongsan (although we are not releasing her until we have a replacement selected). Leora also took a job at the CPAC and left last week. Bosong took a job at the U.S. Embassy and leaves after next week.

As you might imagine, things are pretty f’d up at work right now. We are at 33% of our (already lean) U.S. staffing authorization. At this point we are just trying to avoid a critical mission failure, but my stress level is way up there. We will get through this. I’ve actually found replacements for Bosong, Joel, and Corine, although they won’t come on board until late January. Just got to suck it up until then.

You know, I don’t fault people for doing what they need to do to advance their careers. In a way, it’s a compliment when your people get promoted. Donna to her credit has been a real trooper in delaying her departure pending getting some new staff on board. I’m extremely disappointed in one individual that I consider selfish and disloyal. Everyone is replaceable though. And you burn bridges at your own peril. ‘Nuff said about that.

So that should bring y’all up to speed on my working life. Far be it from me to complain…

Well, it doesn’t really matter because not much has changed here since my last post way back in August. Well, the leaves have changed because summer is long gone and autumn is in her death throes. It’s actually been quite beautiful, I love the yellow and red leaves blowing about the city streets like confetti. Bleah, my writing has not much improved has it?

Anyway, I’m not going to try and catch you up on everything in one fell swoop. First, it would be boring as hell. And second, after my long hiatus I expect I’m down to literally one or two faithful readers and they probably can guess what’s been up. But thanks Jenn and Susan and Nomad for checking up on me. I actually had a couple of other acquaintances ask what happened to my blog and expressed some remorse that I was not posting. As did my mother. So, I may never have had many readers, but damn those few of you are loyal. I did miss my little blog more than I would have imagined and I am resolved to post with some semblance of regularity now that I have her back. I know, promises, promises.

For those curious about why my account was suspended so long I’ll share that story. Even though it makes me look stupid. It was really all just a misunderstanding. Here’s how it went down:

Way back when (late August, early September) I happened to check my credit card statement. I only do so periodically as I am lazy and disorganized. And it is actually not a credit card, it is the debit card for my checking account. So, I see this charge to “West Bend Web” for $172.80. And by God, I never even heard of West Bend Web and I damn sure didn’t make a purchase from them through PayPal.

So, I marched on down to my bank (which is actually a credit union) and in my outrage filed a dispute and canceled my debit card since someone had obviously stolen the number somehow.
About a week later I get a letter from the credit union saying they had notified PayPal of the dispute and had provisionally credited my account in the amount of $172.80. Ok, so far so good.

A couple of days later my blog was suspended. What’s up with that? I went to the help page at Blogs-about.com (my blog host) and initiated a claim ticket. I started this blog in December 2004 so I figured I was paid up until December (I pay annually) and besides, I had never gotten a bill. It took several days for Blogs-about to get back to me with the news that PayPal had rescinded my payment in the amount of $172.80. Oops!

Turns out, I had been on a month-to-month basis until August 2005, and then switched over to the annual payment. Not that I remembered doing that. And it also seems that I set this up as an automatic payment, which is why I never got a bill. Well. Geez. So, I’m stupid, ok?

And then began the nightmare of trying to reverse the events my ignorance had set in motion. First, I went back to the credit union and said “my bad, West Bend Web is the name Blogs-about uses for billing (no, I don’t know why, but that’s what caused the confusion) so, please withdraw the dispute.” A few days later I get the letter confirming that the dispute was withdrawn and advising that the $172.80 credit was being reversed. Ok. So, I figure PayPal would remit the money to West Bend and I would be back in business. Nope.

After waiting a few days, I went back to Blogs-about and asked what was going on. They said PayPal had not remitted the funds and I should contact them for the status. Trust me, if you have never navigated the Byzantine world that is PayPal consider yourself fortunate.

Since I had made a disputed payment claim, they had blocked my account. To reinstate my account. I had to jump through several hoops. One of which involved FAXing my credit card statement. Except I had canceled that account. The other involved FAXing a utility bill from the address on my account, which is in Virginia. And as most of you know, I live in Korea these days. And oh yeah, PayPal has no record of the $172.80 being remitted by my bank.

So, I found a phone number for the PayPal folks and actually talked to a real live human being. I explained the situation in detail and the kind female voice on the other end of the line was very understanding and promised to see what she could do.

A couple of days later I received an email from PayPal explaining in step-by-step detail what I needed to do to reinstate the the account. And yes, it involved a credit card statement for an account that no longer exists and a utility bill from a place I no longer reside. And no mention whatsoever of the $172.80 that was withdrawn from my account. Hmm.

So, I emailed the woman at the credit union (in San Diego) who had handled my initial dispute and got an “out of office” reply indicating she was no longer employed there. I then emailed the contact address at the credit union explaining the situation and got a form letter reply with a dispute form attached. Yeah, that worked out well for me last time!

So. I decided to try and work an end-around. I registered for a new PayPal account (which required me to use a new email address (only one account per email address apparently). To establish a new account PayPal bills your credit card $1.95. When that charge appears on your statement there is a four-digit number. Then you send that number to PayPal and you are verified and can make purchases. This took about a week.

So, with my new account in hand I paid for a new subscription at Blogs-about. And waited. And waited. And wrote the help desk. And wrote the help desk again. And then in the wee dark hours of last night, my blog as if by magic reappeared.

Meanwhile, I have no idea where the $172.80 currently resides. I’m wondering if the woman at the credit union took it with her. Assuming PayPal has the money, it will be placed in the account I can no longer use because I can’t verify I am who I say I am.

So, after all this hassle all I’ve got to show is a blog I’ve paid twice for and this crappy post. Well, I’m not done fighting to get this resolved but I’m pretty much exhausted at this point and lord knows what havoc I will wreak by filing a new dispute with the credit union. Stay tuned for more of my exciting life.

Ok, I also need to bring you up to speed on my dart life and happenings at the office. But we will save those posts for another day. I have my Korean lesson tonight and I have not studied since the last one. I’m learning verbs these days which I think may be a key ingredient to me speaking in actual sentences someday. I have an amazing vocabulary consisting of fruits, animals, seasons, body parts and the like, but practically speaking, it’s not much help in conversation with the natives. Although one night when a Korean guy called me a hippo I said “do you mean hama?”. He was quite impressed with my grasp of the language. Well, hell, I can order beer and ask where the bathroom is in Korean. Really, what else do you need to know?