And it was an SOB. That pretty much captures the way of my day.

I started things off with the Friday group hike. I selected our route, which included one modest mandatory climb and an optional visit to the top of Black Rock. I had in mind a long valley walk at the end, but in a concession to the heat, we took a shortcut that shaved a kilometer or two off our intended path.

It was just under 8K for me, and I was soaked. I’ll be just as wet come the rainy season, but I’ll be a lot cooler. Hurry your ass up, Mother Nature!

The days are hot and humid, which also creates hazy skies. This view from my patio reflects that:

Then it was time to head into town for the Sons of Baccus dance competition at the Green Room. I went early to get good seats, and Swan joined me just before the show started.

I liked the Whiskey Girl performance the best, with Green Room a close second.

I’m usually in sync with the other judges, and I understand that the home team usually has an advantage (the home team has won the past four weeks in a row). Last night, the final tally came out like this:

1st Place: Green Room

2nd Place: Voodoo

3rd Place: Whiskey Girl

4th Place: Alaska

So, I don’t know if I fucked Voodoo out of first by not listing them at all on my ballot or not. I feel shitty about it either way, and I will punish myself by declining to judge in the future. Sorry about that, girls.

We went home directly after the show having had too much of a good thing already.

Where did Facebook take me on the stroll down memory lane today?

Let’s get the Quora Q&A bullshit out of the way:

Q: How did your husband react when you told him you were pregnant?

A: Well, I can’t pass up the opportunity to tell my story. I was not married to her at the time, but we did eventually marry.

So, I was 19, and she was 17. We had been dating for a while. I had just gotten a German Shepherd puppy. Anyway, I picked her up from work, and while we were still in the parking lot, she told me the news: I’m pregnant.

I responded like any rational man would do: Damn it! If I knew you were going to get pregnant I wouldn’t have got the dog!

All’s well that ends well. I got to experience the joy of raising my sweet daughter. And I kept the dog, too!

And that was what led to marriage #1. It lasted six years before she said, “I don’t want to be a wife and a mother anymore.” So, my journey as a single father with sole custody of my two kids began. Until I found wife #2. But that’s another story for another day.

Today’s humor is a little more nasty than usual. You’ve been warned!

I’ll tell y’all about today, tomorrow. Y’all come back now, hear?

+

Another Wednesday, another hike with the Wednesday Walkers group. This time, we climbed halfway to the top of Kalaklan Ridge and then walked a path that meandered across the side of the mountain. It looked like this:

Swan had family time in the afternoon, and I headed out to Sloppy Joe’s at beer o’clock. Swan joined me there later.

Swan and I did our nightcap at the Green Room, then we ordered Sit-n-Bull takeout and headed home. And so ended another day in the life.

Another scamdemic memory via Facebook:

Speaking of memories, I came upon an old post of mine remembering my early days as a tourist in the PI. Maybe my best day ever was in 2008 at an impromptu pool party with the girls from the old Alaska bar in Angeles City. Give it a look if you are so inclined.

Maybe I should get a new hat?

Scott (Pubic Head) posted cartoon-like versions of all the female Hashers. Here’s an example:

There’s a joint US-Philippines military exercise taking place and I hear we have quite a few American marines domiciled on SBMA. I figured they would put Barretto off-limits, but I’m told some have been spotted around town this week. This cartoon seems to be appropriate to the situation:

Let’s get today’s Quora Q&A out of the way:

Q: As gratitude for essential workers, if the federal government gave every American a $26 dollar raise, raised the minimum wage to $26/hour, greatly strengthen labor laws, banned stock buybacks, broke up oligopolies, what would the USA look like?

A: Venezuela.

Four more years of Biden, and we’ll be there.

Ready for some cringe?

Today is the one-year anniversary of the passing of Swan’s former love, Alan. There is going to be a rooftop gathering/remembrance for him up at The Rite Spot On The Roof this afternoon. I’m attending at Swan’s request. There will be food and beer, so I should be happy. Tell you all about it tomorrow.

And every little bit helps, right?

It will be six years ago next month that I made the move to the Philippines. One of my concerns back then was how I would adapt to living in comparative luxury while many of the people around me struggled in poverty. During my tourist days, I found that depressing. So, my plan coming in was to help some as best I could and take comfort in that giving. Yes, a selfish form of charity for sure–I give to alleviate my guilt. Of course, early on, I had to learn how to pick and choose when, where, and who to help. Frequent commenter Kevin Kim deemed it Rule #1: Don’t be a sucker! I’ve gotten quite a bit better at rejecting the scammers and blocking the constant beggars I encounter on social media. I still entertain random requests from people I know that I deem sincere, but I mostly confine myself to a set group for whom I provide some support on a regular basis.

Now, I recall the admonishment of Jesus in the Book of Matthew:

“So when you give something to a needy person, do not make a big show of it, as the hypocrites do in the houses of worship and on the streets. They do it so that people will praise them. I assure you, they have already been paid in full. ³ But when you help a needy person, do it in such a way that even your closest friend will not know about it. ⁴ Then it will be a private matter. And your Father, who sees what you do in private, will reward you.”

Matthew 6.1-6

Regardless, talking about what I give to others ranks pretty low on the list of my sins. And it is good to keep track of your charity budget.

There’s MJ, the mountain mama widow with two half-American kids and no income since her husband died. He did build her a paid-for shanty house up in the hills but never bothered to get his children the coveted American citizenship that would have provided some Social Security benefits for his family after his passing. Anyway, after I met MJ, I decided to make her my “big” project, which was to the tune of 12,000 pesos a month. She occasionally contacts me with some emergency or other like she did yesterday, needing food and medicine for the kids. I reminded her that I am on a budget and she also needs to budget her monthly stipend. Still, I relented and sent her the requested funds.

Other projects include Eithan, an elementary school student in Bohol, for whom I periodically provide money for school expenses. I’m also helping Mary (the 18-year-old I briefly dated) as she pursues a college education. And I give Joy a thousand pesos a week to supplement her bargirl salary as she struggles to raise two kids as a single mother. Those are the big ones, and I occasionally help some acquaintances with “emergencies” like paying the electric bill. Yeah, I’m no hero, but I also no longer request or receive any quid-pro-quo benefits for my donations. I stopped doing that when I hooked up with Swan.

Sometimes, the smallest gifts bring the most joy. That’s why the weekly candy walks with Swan are so much fun. We spend a thousand pesos each week to fill our bags with goodies and get a ton of priceless smiles in return.

But the giving wasn’t done quite yet; I still had a feeding at Hideaway to attend to.

I was scheduled to meet Swan at 5:30, but she messaged me a little after five, saying the floating bar raft wouldn’t come to pick her up on the beach. What the hell? It turns out it was a misunderstanding—the raft driver thought Swan was looking for me, and he waved her off because I wasn’t there. Anyway, the mamasan apologized and bought us each a drink, so I don’t think it will happen again.

And then something weird happened. A guy came racing by on a jet ski, then pulled alongside the floating bar and climbed aboard. I’m not nautically inclined, but I know enough to know that you have to secure your floatation device. He didn’t, and sure enough the jet ski drifted off. The stranger didn’t seem to care and walked to the bar and asked for a glass of water. He didn’t appear drunk or anything, but he did seem a little off somehow. Swan said he was Filipino. Anyway, he takes out his phone and asks some of the bargirls sitting around if he could take a picture with them. They all declined. Then finally, the bartender said she would take one with him. She’s a big girl and not too cute, and the rude stranger declined the offer. His jet ski was twenty yards away by now and I assumed he was going to have to jump in and swim to retrieve it. Instead, he called out to a couple of young boys playing on a nearby boat. They jumped in the water and pushed the jet ski back to the floater. He hopped on without a word, and rode away.

I felt bad for the rejected bartender and asked her if she would take a picture with me. She laughed and agreed.

Naturally, I bought the bartender a lady drink. I asked Swan if the crazy dude had tipped the boys who retrieved his jet ski, and she said he hadn’t. So, we gave them 50 pesos for helping the guy out. See, it was indeed a day of giving!

And shortly thereafter, so were we. We walked up the highway to Sit-n-Bull and ordered some food for takeout. While we waited, Jack and his gal Monica joined us at our table. Jack ordered a salad appetizer and specified that he wanted it with boiled egg and tomato. I laughed out loud when I saw what he was served:

It was a nice ending to a fun day.

A commenter asked if there was more than one gated entrance to Alta Vista. Well, there is only one gate, so it is technically a gated subdivision. However, there is no fence, and there are several unguarded footpaths in and out of Alta Vista.

So, it’s not exactly secure. The homeowners’ association has been trying to get the developer to “build that wall.” I’m personally opposed to the idea as I like being able to hike in and out as I please. That really came in handy during the scamdemic lockdowns.

Ready for some Quora Q&A?

Q: Who was responsible for what happened at Waco?

A: Well, I was pretty drunk, and she looked a lot better at midnight than she did at 8:00. It was all her idea, and I wound up bringing her back to my room. I woke up the next morning with a horrible taste in my mouth. I got up to wash my face, looked in the mirror, and noticed a string hanging between my front teeth.

“Please, God, let it be a teabag,” I said out loud. It wasn’t.

In the end, I have to take full responsibility for what happened in Waco that night.

Bada bing!

Let’s keep the laughter rolling:

It’s another Hash Monday, so I’ll be hitting the trail soon. The On-Home is at a Hasher residence at the end of Rizal Extension. I’m not a fan of getting home from there after a few beers, so I’ll likely do the Hash but not stay for the circle. I’ll play it by ear and see how I feel.

Another day, another walk. Only Gary and I showed up for the Friday group hike. Two of our regulars, Scott and Steve, claimed to be recovering from a party they attended the night before at a place called The Rite Spot. Go figure. To be honest, I was feeling lazy myself, but once we got started, I decided I had one hill climb in me, and it turned out to be a pleasant enough 6K journey.

I wasn’t up for an SOB contest last night, so I took Swan on a dinner date instead. We started with some liquid refreshments at It Doesn’t Matter and spent some time visiting with Chris and Shie there. Then we walked up the highway to John’s place.

I’d been craving a steak and John usually has the best in town. They ain’t cheap, though, especially the USDA cuts (4 pesos a gram, average 800 grams). I opted for the tenderloin special at 795 pesos instead. That’s what I would have spent on admission to the SOB, so why not?

We did our nightcap at the seldom-visited Mugshots bar, then made it an early night and headed home. A friend had recommended a show on Netflix, Jimmy Carr: Natural Born Killer. It’s a one-hour standup comedy routine by a British comedian I’d never heard of. He’s a punny kind of guy, so I could relate to that. It also seems like his humor was intended to goad and offend snowflakes of all persuasions. Here’s the Netflix trailer, which gives you a pretty good taste of what you are in for:

Here’s a shot of my watchdogs keeping guard up on the roof:

Facebook memories carried me back twelve years to that time I made one of those Hitler videos about my champion dart league team, Ride It In. Ah, the good ol’ days.

Let’s throw some politics into the mix, shall we?

Okay, time for the Quora Q&A:

Q: How much money should you have in your bank account before retiring in the Philippines?

A: To me, the more important question is how much dependable income do you have each month? If you are planning on living off your savings/interest you will need to figure out your yearly budget and how long you expect to live. I certainly would not want to live on less than 100,000 pesos (approx. $2000 U.S.) per month but I know some who do.

I’m fortunate to have a comfortable pension. My savings account is for unanticipated major expenses/emergencies. As others have said, think about the lifestyle you want to live and where, and then plan accordingly.

Even with inflation, money goes further here than it would back home in the USA. I know people getting by on Social Security income alone. I do live large on my pension and I’m grateful for it.

Humor me this:

That’s all for now. I’m going to try an old-fashioned bar hop tonight. Been a while since I’ve done one. I’ll share how that goes tomorrow.

Yesterday’s rooftop gathering was a success! I had a blast, and the feedback I received from other attendees echoed that feeling. Good friends, good food, and lots to drink—does it get any better than that?

The last of the guests departed around 10 p.m., and everyone professed to have had a good time. I know I did.

I never left the ‘hood all day, confining my morning walk to the streets of Alta Vista. I had a party to prepare for, after all.

It was a very good day to be alive. I went to sleep feeling truly blessed.

Today’s Quora Q&A:

Q: What is a habit you picked up from another country as an expat?

A: Well, I guess there are lots of little things you pick up along the way. One that comes to mind is from my 10+ years in South Korea. Whatever you do in an interaction with another person, you do with two hands. Paying at the convenience store? Hand the money over with both hands. Drinking with someone of higher status (i.e. older), you pour their drink and you do it two-handed. Not doing so would be considered extremely rude.

There are many others, but that’s the one that came immediately to mind. It was also funny when I was back in the USA and in the habit of using two hands for everything. Got me lots of funny looks!

I enjoyed my Korea life. It’s too bad things turned out the way they did.

Today’s lame attempt at humor:

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll be back tomorrow.

The Wednesday Walkers hike was supposed to begin with a Jeepney ride out to Philseco Road on the far side of Subic. Except we couldn’t get there from here. The first Jeep we hailed and boarded had not gone far before we discovered his last stop was in Magnan Vaca (Waltermart). Oops, our bad. We should have checked the sign on his windshield. So, we disembarked and hailed a Jeepney with Castillejos (the next town after our destination) in the windshield. He stopped at Waltermart and said he wasn’t going further (our group were the only passengers). We argued and offered to pay an extra 100 pesos to take us the two kilometers to Philseco Road, but the driver wouldn’t budge. Literally. I’ve never experienced a Jeepney not going the posted distance before. Anyway, we got out and walked the rest of the way to our intended starting point.

Scott and I are the Hares for the Hash on April 29th, so yesterday was a scouting mission to ensure there were no kinks in our intended trail. One potential problem is uncooperative Jeepney drivers. We may rent a Jeepney to transport the Hashers to the trail start instead of relying on the whims of random drivers. Otherwise, the trail we hiked should work for the Hash–7.5K (not counting the additional steps from Waltermart) and one relatively easy hill climb. The section where we walked through the busy Subic Market area may be altered so the Hashers can enjoy a more tranquil hike. We’ve got time to work that out.

The resort has updated its menu since my last visit. I was not planning to eat until I saw this:

I had business in town yesterday–using my remaining SOB coupons before they expired. I started at The Green Room, where I had some money on my 1500 peso voucher to expend. I’m doing gin and soda (with a can of soda on the side), which is twice the price of a beer. My money was gone after two drinks. I also bought my “regulars,” each a lady drink, so I lost money on that deal. When Wet Spot opened next door, I headed over to use my last coupon:

In addition to being more expensive, the gin and soda routine is harder to manage sobriety-wise. I was definitely a little tipsy by the end of the night. And once again, the damn coupon wound up costing me money. In perhaps an overly generous moment, I bought a large 800 peso pizza from Sit-n-Bull for the bargirls to share. Maybe I’d best stick with beer and just be fat and happy.

Anyhoo, got the party on the roof coming up later today. I’ve got chili cooking in the crockpot, and I baked up a slew of cornbread muffins and a batch of brownies. Swan and the team of helpers have been busy in the kitchen all morning as well. Should be some good eating and drinking going down up there soon. Looking forward to it.

Today’s Quora Q&A:

Q: As an expat in a foreign country, what are your burial, cremation, or funeral plans? Will it be in your current or home country?

A: Well, one thing is for sure once I’m dead it isn’t going to matter to me. Still, I don’t want to leave the burden on my children. I had a friend here (the Philippines) die last year and his family went through a lot of hassle and expense to get his body back home for burial. My plan is to be cremated and have my ashes dumped in the bay or maybe in the mountains where I hike. It’s really not a big deal to me, keep it cheap and easy!

There are some things I need to do so the people I leave behind are overly burdened by my passing. I’ll get busy with that soon.

Humor me, please.

That’s all for now, folks.

Nothing to complain about, and I lived to tell the story, so as far as yesterday goes, it’s all good.

I started my Tuesday with a visit to the Bureau of Immigration in Olongapo. They kindly consented to extend my tourist visa for another sixty days. Hooray! Swan was waiting on a chair outside the office, and as I exited, I jokingly said, “Well, hello there, Miss. I’m going to be staying another sixty days. Would you like to get together?” I didn’t know that one of the immigration officers heard me until he burst out laughing.

Next up was the shopping excursion at Royal. I’m having a gathering at The Rite Spot tomorrow, so we stocked up on all the goodies we’ll be serving. Looking forward to a good time up on the roof.

On the way home, we stopped by my dentist’s office so I could make an appointment. I’m overdue for a cleaning, but the real motivation was that one of my upper molars has been hurting. I don’t like pain generally, but a toothache is about the worst for me. Dr. Barrera is the best in town and is very popular with the expat community. Sadly, the first appointment I could get was for April 30. I guess I’ll be dealing with the pain as best I can until then.

Next stop was a quick visit to Dr. Jo. She extracted some blood for use in my third and final stem cell treatment to repair the sciatica nerve in my back. I had to come back later in the afternoon for the stem cell injections. She also gave me the results from my blood work last week and the good news was my kidney functions (BUN and Creatinine) are now back in the normal range. The glucose test results are still pending.

So, it was back to Dr. Jo at 2:30 for what she called my “crucifixion.” I received multiple painful injections of stem cells in my lower back. I’m still sore today. I casually mentioned my toothache, and Dr. Jo reminded me that painkillers like ibuprofen were off-limits while the stem cells were doing their business. Oops! She gave me a prescription for something called Eugenol, a dental analgesic in liquid form that you apply directly to the gums around the problem tooth. It seems to be working pretty well so far.

Swan and I departed Dr. Jo’s office and hoofed it over to a drug store on the Subic side of the river to purchase my meds. Then we did the walk out to Baloy for our Tuesday afternoon on the floating bar.

And then, in what I’m sure must have been a coincidence, within minutes of our arrival, everyone left but us.

Now, there has been a bit of controversy about Treasure Island of late. Several people have complained about the 400 peso fee the resort charges for use of the facility. Three hundred of that can be paid via corkage (food and drinks), and the other hundred is out of pocket. I’ve always assumed that this fee only applied to people who used the pool. Other people said they charged that to all customers, regardless of whether they used the pool. That didn’t sound right, but then again, every time I visited Treasure Island, I spent more than 300 pesos and never checked my bill for charges in addition to my food and drink.

Home after dinner for some couch time watching YouTube videos, then off to bed for some sleep. Toothache woke me a little after midnight, but Swan applied the meds, which gave me enough relief to get back to sleep.

Facebook memories carried me back seven years to my days as a boss.

Let’s do today’s Quora Q&A:

Q: Do Americans give up their citizenship when they retire in foreign countries?

A: No, they are not required to do so. A few do for tax purposes or other financial reasons. That’s relatively rare, though. I have no desire or intention to live in the USA again, but I’d never even consider giving up my birthright of citizenship.

Five years later, I still feel the same.

Let’s have some fun:

Okay, it’s time to use up the last of my bar discount coupons before they expire. Until next time.

In a land where some of us live rich while surrounded by many in need, it is good to see people giving of themselves to make life better for others. I have my projects that help a few in small ways, but it’s always nice to observe large, organized efforts by expat groups to comfort those less fortunate. Yesterday provided an excellent example of that.

Swan left early in the morning for the meet-up and I planned a surprise visit with a walk that passed through Naugsol. I arrived at the 3.5K mark.

It was nice to observe all that goodness, but the highway beckoned, and I continued my hike.

And for the third day in a row, I found myself outside of Waltermart. I caught a Jeep for home from there.

Because I’ll be out of town this afternoon, I moved the Hideaway feeding up a day.

Then it was off to my weekly visit on the Arizona floating bar.

We did our nightcap at Wet Spot, then ordered Sit-n-Bull takeout for dinner. Another good day in the life.

Today’s mockery of our pretend president:

This brought back memories:

On to Quora Q&A then:

Q: Someone offered you $1 million to commit one crime. Which crime would you commit, and why?

A: Adultery is a crime in the Philippines and for a million dollars I’d be willing to break that law!

For the record, when I answered that question in 2020, I didn’t have a girlfriend. Just sayin’.

And now for the day’s lame humor:

We’ve got a candy walk to attend to now, and after that, we’ll make our way to San Antonio. The FRA (Fleet Reserve Association) is having its annual Fralics beauty pageant. It should be fun, and it will be nice to get out of town for a change of scenery.

Only two other folks joined for the Friday group hike yesterday. I wanted to go back to the area I had hiked on Thursday and explore some trails I’d seen but not taken. So, we took a Jeepney ride to Subic and walked most of my previous hike in reverse. Except we did take a Jeepney back to Barretto from Waltermart this time. Anyway, it was a nice enough 6+K hike, but all the new paths I wanted to check out wound up being dead ends. Oh well, that’s why they call it scouting.

And that brings us to Friday night. The SOB was being held at La Oficina, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Once or twice a month is enough of that entertainment for me. So, after showering and getting ready for the trip into town, I couldn’t decide where I wanted to go. And finally, it occurred to me that The Rite Spot On The Roof would satisfy my needs. Swan was actually thrilled when I gave her the news.

Meanwhile, downstairs in the kitchen the girls had been preparing some dinner.

I enjoyed my Friday night at home better than I would have in the bars.

Swan surprised me yesterday when she asked me to lie on the bed and lift my shirt. I did as I was told, and she took a picture. Then she started laughing. When I asked her why, she sent me this:

Then she sent me the photo she took:

Later in the day, I came across this and sent it to her:

Yeah, I need to lose that belly. And I’m working on it. Denying myself all the sweet goodness I’ve come to enjoy.

I must confess I’ve been more than a little disappointed these past couple of days. Despite my best efforts, including reducing my beer intake, I’ve actually gained weight. I understand that occasional fluctuations will occur when dieting, but damn, it does get frustrating. It hasn’t killed my motivation, though. Yet.

Maybe I really have become that stereotypical grumpy old man, but this somehow resonated with me.

Alright, enough of that. Let’s do the Quora Q&A:

Q: What does it mean when your supervisor will say “i cant understand what you’re saying”. what do you think you need to do?

A: I’m sorry. I don’t understand this question.

Yeah, thousands of comedians are out of work, and I’m trying to be funny.

Anyway, here are some things I find more or less amusing:

One more for the road:

Okay, I’m going to San Antonio tomorrow (not Texas, Zambales), so I’m doing the Hideaway feeding today. I’ll have a short and sweet post in the morning before I leave. See you then!

It was not so gentle on my big toe or my wallet, but it was a good day regardless. On Thursdays, I try for a longer than normal walk, usually on pavement, since I’m on my own. This week, I took a Jeepney to Waltermart and commenced my hike there.

I wore a pair of shoes I hadn’t worn in a while, and that proved to be a mistake. They were a little tight and put pressure on my left foot’s big toe, which became pretty painful for the last three kilometers.

When beer o’clock rolled around, Swan and I walked into town for some liquid refreshments. We hadn’t been to Cheap Charlies for a while, so we started there. I ordered my gin and soda in a tall glass, and Swan did her usual red wine thing. Except the waitress came back and said no wine was available. Seriously, what kind of bar doesn’t keep a bottle of red wine on the shelf? Well, not a bar I patronize when I’m with my girl, so I finished my drink, and we left. I did dispense some advice to the bartender and cashier before leaving. I don’t expect I’ll be back.

Green Room was next up, and we had a much more enjoyable time there. I had inadvertently left my 50% discount coupon there on Sunday, and it was still valid. The waitress said she had kept it in her purse for me and went to fetch it. Now, that’s good service. So, of course, I bought her a lady drink.

Early into our Green Room visit, Swan saw someone she recognized–a neighbor from when she lived in San Isidro. She called the girl over, and damn, she looked young. It turns out that she had just turned 18 two weeks ago and had started working as a GRO (Guest Relations Officer) like her mother. Her mom came over to join us; she is one of the gals I’ve let rub my shoulders in the past. Of course, Swan knew her as well. I felt compelled to buy our new guests drinks, too, and Swan gently told mom and daughter there were better employment options than the bar out there. I don’t think she changed any minds, though. As a parent, I can’t imagine how I’d feel seeing some old fat fucker barfine my daughter for a night of debauchery, but I guess folks do what they feel they have to do. Good luck to her!

After a couple of rounds of drinks for everyone, Swan and I moved on to Alaska Club. We were the only customers at first, and our regular waitresses were happy to see us.

As is my custom, I also gave each dancer (there were eight last night) a fifty peso tip for their efforts. I stuck with my gin and soda routine and seemed to be doing okay with keeping myself on an even keel, but I still felt more inebriated than I get from my beer diet. And I’m not blaming the gin, but I was much more generous with the lady drinks than normal last night. I usually carry 5000 pesos ($100) in my wallet when I go out; most nights, I might spend two or three thousand. But I spent it all last night. That said, we bought some smiles, and I’m sure the girls appreciated making some commissions on an otherwise quiet night. I won’t make that a habit, though!

Home safe and sound, a good night’s sleep, and woke up to a brand new day. I am blessed indeed.

And I saw in the news that OJ Simpson succumbed to cancer. May he rest in peace, knowing that his wife’s killer is no longer alive.

Ready for some Quora Q&A?

Q: To expats living in Philippines what is a typical day like?

A: I imagine every expat has a different experience. My typical day involves waking early, checking the news on the internet, walking my dogs, having breakfast, then taking a long hike.

I enjoy views like this one when I am out and about on my daily hikes.

In the evening I hang out in my favorite pubs and enjoy some refreshing San Miguel Light beers. Watching the sun go down is one of my favorite pastimes.

What’s not to like?

And then the following morning I get up and do it all over again. That may sound boring and meaningless to some but it is the life I chose and I’m making the best of it.

Heh, I guess regular readers here at LTG knew that answer. All my posts must sound like Ground Hog Day.

Humor time:

And one more for the road:

Okay, I’ll be back with more tomorrow.

Another Wednesday group stroll. After Monday’s ball-busting Hash, we gave ourselves a bit of a break with a comparatively easy 6K walkabout.

A good morning on trail and a good evening in store. I started the drinking portion of my life at Sloppy Joe’s and enjoyed some camaraderie at Chris’ table. We were telling stories from our past and having some good laughs. It’s strange the things I can remember from way back when, but I am so forgetful in my day-to-day dealings. Oh well, I’m grateful for the life I’ve had and hope to continue enjoying the one I have for as long as I can.

Swan joined me after her family time, and wanted to go to Wet Spot. Aine had messaged her that she had some news to share. Turns out that Aine has a new Swedish boyfriend and he doesn’t want her working in the bar. That’s understandable. So, it wasn’t exactly a goodbye, her fella lives on Baloy and we invited her to bring him out to the floating bar on Tuesday. Looks like my lady drink tab will henceforth be lessened, but it was nice having someone for Swan to chat with during our Wet Spot visits.

We brought some food home from Sit-n-Bull and called it a night.

Over at ROKDrop, a Korean blog I still follow, there is a post about the littering problems during the cherry blossom festivals. When I lived there, I noticed more litter than I grew up around in the USA, but since moving to the Philippines, Korea seems almost immaculate. Here’s the comment I left:

 I lived in Korea for twelve years, then retired and moved to the Philippines. The litter culture here makes Korea seem pristine by comparison. There is no such thing as public trash receptacles; people toss their garbage on the street with impunity. It’s a beautiful country otherwise, and I admire the Filipino people in many ways, but I just don’t understand the mentality of trashing the environment.

That’s one of my biggest pet peeves here, but the good far outweighs the bad.

The Quora Q&A thing:

Q: Many older male expats move to Southeast Asia because of the foreign exchange. Why don’t more older female expat Westerners do the same thing? Why aren’t older women attracted to cheap living in Philippines? Why does it appeal more to men?

A: I’m a man, so take my answer with a grain of salt, as I can’t really speak for women. The few Western women I’ve seen living in the Philippines were almost always part of a couple or had some other ties here. I often laugh about my hometown here being like a retirement community for old white guys. There are bars, restaurants, beaches, and other things to do, shopping nearby, and rents are comparatively low. What’s not to like?

I guess one obvious answer as to why a single woman wouldn’t move here is that they would likely stay single or have a harder time finding male companionship. Guys here don’t have to be lonely unless they choose to be.

It may also be that while making progress, the Philippines remains a developing nation. Infrastructure can be poor and there are also inconveniences to be dealt with on a daily basis. It could also be that a single woman might not always feel safe living here alone.

So, I guess my bottom line answer is that for women there may be better options.

A single white woman here does stand out, something very rarely seen.

And here are today’s attempts at humor:

The adventure continues tomorrow. Come on by!

It has been said that two things in life cannot be avoided: death and taxes. Welp, I finally got my taxes filed. I’ll continue putting off the other for as long as possible. The taxes proved to be a bigger pain in the ass than usual. I have an accountant back home in South Carolina who does the actual tax forms and calculations. All I have to do is complete and sign the intake forms, scan all my tax paperwork, and email it back. So, I pulled my seldom-used printer off the shelf, plugged it in, and hit the print button. What came out was unreadable. So, I bought some ink, poured it in, and it still didn’t work. Okay, off to the local print shop to get the forms printed. Brought them home, filled them out, and hooked up the printer again to scan them. And I couldn’t get the laptop to connect with the printer to scan the documents. No idea what that’s about or how to fix it. So, it was back to the print shop to have everything scanned there and emailed to me. Then, I forwarded it all off to my accountant. I usually get a decent refund every year, but who knows what to expect from Bidenomics?

Pretty exciting stuff, no? Well, there was also the weekly excursion to Royal for groceries. I have a Royal Customer Card that gets scanned weekly when I shop and earns discount points. I never gave them much thought, but yesterday, I noticed a sign that said to use the points or lose them by April 15. So, naturally, I had the cashier cash me out, and damn, my points were worth 7000 pesos ($140) off my grocery bill. Not bad.

My other big event was my visit to Dr. Jo. She took another blood sample, and we’ll review the results to measure my progress next week, but the external indicators are all on the positive side. She and her hubby, Dr. Chris, were happy to hear of my new efforts at dietary discipline but had some suggestions about excluding some of the fruits I’ve been snacking on—like mangos and bananas.

Anyway, the weight is slowly coming down, and this week, I’m going to work on reducing the beer ingestion to see if I can speed things up.

So, the appointment with Dr. Jo finished a little after 2:30. Rather than go back home for an hour and then head to Baloy, I elected to start my time on the floating bar early. Swan was with me, but she insisted that if we start early, we finish early. I was on board with that.

Zero carbs, but 97 calories in the gin shot. My Zero beer has 60 calories but 2.5 carbs per bottle. But I have the shot of gin served in a tall glass and buy the full can of soda water. In that way, I water down the gin into three drinks instead of one. I also drink fewer gin and sodas than I would beers. So, overall I think it is a decent reduction. The downside is that drinking that way costs almost twice as much. On the Kokomo floating bar, the gin shot is 120 pesos (the same price as a beer), and the soda water can is 90 pesos. Still, since I’m drinking fewer drinks in total, it should average out.

When we arrived on the floater, we were the only customers.

Swan had two wines and I had four gin and sodas. And since we started early, we left early.

It was also too early for dinner or the sunset, so I had the bright idea of visiting another one of my favorite venues:

Sadly, The Rite Spot doesn’t have gin and soda on the menu (yet). But I had cold Zeros in the fridge, so I made do.

I started watching Climate: The Movie on YouTube. For me, it was preaching to the choir, but I hope folks will watch it and see the lies they are being fed about the coming doom. Give it a gander and share it with your indoctrinated friends. Maybe they will learn to start thinking for themselves again.

And here’s evidence that there is a bright side to everything, even Bidenomics:

I had mentioned the four-nation naval (Philippines, USA, Japan, and Australia) exercise taking place next week. Looks like the US Army is coming to play as well. Sure does seem like something is brewing. I hope China rethinks any plans to invade.

Okay, Quora Q&A time:

Q: What would you do if you woke up in the middle of the night and the Grim Reaper (aka Death) was in your room?

A: Most likely, I would die.

Well, I’ve done my taxes; maybe death will give me the fifteen more years I long for.

Now, for the good stuff:

Alright, time to go. See you here tomorrow!

The day’s big event was the candy walk with Swan as she handed out sweets to the kids we encountered along the way. Here’s how it looked:

I took Swan out for a Saturday night dinner at Myleen’s.

After dinner, we had a nightcap at Wet Spot. Then, we made it an early night and headed home at 7:30. I’m getting so damn domesticated.

Speaking of the diet, I’ve lost 3.6 pounds this week (7.1 overall). A little frustrated that I haven’t lost anything since Wednesday, but at least I’m not gaining. I may have to do something radical like reduce my beer consumption. We’ll see. I’m back to see Dr. Jo on Tuesday for a follow-up visit and progress check.

To be fair and politically balanced, I’ll post this Biden campaign ad:

Facebook memories reminded me of an incident back in 2015 when I was still a smoker.

I went to the neighborhood 7-11 to buy some smokes. As is my custom, I told the clerk, “dongbae Marlboro silver chuseyo”. He pointed at the black pack, and I said, “Anio, silver.” He pointed at the gold pack, and I repeated, “Silver.” I finally had to gesture to where the ones I wanted were. He pulled them from the rack, pointed at the word silver, and proceeded to instruct me on how to pronounce the word “silver.” Apparently, it’s “sil-buh.” Who knew? Still, it was a unique experience having a Korean try and teach me how to properly say an English word.

On this day in 2017, I attended a meeting with the USFK Korean Employees Union reps and the American Ambassador to Korea.

Over at Althouse, there was a post where a young American woman talked about the advantages of being with an older man.

“I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting…. I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early. So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors…. I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me…. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower?…”

Grazie Sophia Christie, in “The Case for Marrying an Older Man/A woman’s life is all work and little rest. An age gap relationship can help.”

Anyway, it made me smile because almost all foreigner/Filipina relationships feature a considerable age gap (mine is 68-39). But it is no surprise that there are advantages for all concerned in these autumn-spring romances.

Let’s do the Quora Q&A thing:

Q: Who, as a previous boss, canceled the vacation time of an employee? Why? Did you offer something else?

A:  I wasn’t the boss, but had it happen to me. Back when I was a letter carrier with the USPS we had to “bid” on vacation dates based on seniority. Only a certain percentage of employees were allowed to be off at any given time. Anyway, I had the first week in June, and another guy had the second week. A few days after the bidding was over, the other carrier came to me and said his plans had changed and would I mind switching with him. I didn’t have anything going on that week, so I said sure, let’s clear it with the boss. So we approached the supervisor and told him what we wanted to do. He replied, no problem and instructed us both to fill out a leave form canceling the approved time off and then fill out another form requesting the new dates. And so we did just that.

Once he had our cancellation forms, he took our names off the board showing approved leave. And then he DENIED our new leave requests, saying another carrier was on extended leave, and so the maximum number of carriers was already off. In other words, both of us lost our planned leave. He was gleeful as he told us, and it was obvious he had suckered us into canceling our prior approved leave.

So, all these years later, I just want to say thank you, Mr. Frank Nathan. Your actions that day caused me to join the union and later become a shop steward and eventually the president of the local union branch. My work with the union impressed the HR Director, and she promoted me into my first management job. I had over 35 years of government service when I retired as GS-15 Human Resources Director, and I’m now living a happy life on my pension in the Philippines.

No hard feelings, Frank. I’m still alive, and I’m sure you are not.

Time for the daily dose of (so-called) humor:

Sunday feeding at Hideaway and some Arizona floating bar time are on tap for this evening. Hasta la vista for now.

But first, here is the story of our group hike yesterday. There were no slips or trips, and only one falls. Martin Falls this time. We loaded into Ed’s truck and drove out to the far side of Olongapo City to begin our trek. Some of us had done this hike in 2022, but the way things change, it still had a fresh feeling. It’s less than 3K up to the falls, and then a retrace of our steps coming back. It’s relatively easy compared to some of our more recent hikes. Still hot as fuck, though, but at least we had some shade along the way.

I went back home for the usual R&R activities (blogging, napping, showering), and then it was time to head back into town for the SOB dance competition. This week’s event was held at Queen Victoria, a nice venue with ample seating. It was needed; they really packed them in yesterday. A lot of unfamiliar faces, and a group of what I presumed to be some of the civilian sailors from those Navy supply ships in port. And then I got introduced to this fella:

I’ve been blogging for going on twenty years now, and during that time, I’ve randomly encountered several folks who turned out to be readers here at LTG. Stan was the latest addition to this group. He’s visiting the PI from the USA with his wife of fifty years. In preparation for their trip, they watched YouTube videos and read blogs, including mine. Thanks for that! As I’m sure has been said, no blog is totally worthless; it can always serve as a bad example.

I voted Alaska first and Queen Victoria second. My fellow judges did not agree.

And now I’ve got a full supply of “discount” coupons to put to use in the bars for the next two weeks.

After the show, a flower vendor came by our table, so I gifted Swan with some roses.

We went home after the SOB; sometimes enough is enough. A good night sleep and another day of life today. Keep ’em coming!

Facebook memories are not always happy ones. I was reminded that yesterday was the thirteenth anniversary of my marriage to Jee Yeun.

Facebook shared a happier memory as well.

Let’s do the Quora Q&A thing:

Q: If police officers were truly operating PROPERLY within the legal constraints of the U.S. Constitution, …then what would happen in a scenario where a motorist with no infractions, flips the bird at any officer in U.S. when driving by an officer?

A: I’ve been arrested once in my life. It was under circumstances similar to those described in your question. Except I uttered the words “fuck you, pig!” to go along with giving the finger. I was 17 years old at the time. Here’s what happened:

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll share the text of the charges levied against me:

“On or about July 4, 1973, at 18900 Gothard Street, Huntington Beach, County of Orange, [John McCrarey] did willfully, unlawfully and maliciously disturb the peace and quiet of Mrs. Hal Westley Shirey by offensive conduct, and the use of vulgar, profane, and indecent language, in a loud and boisterous manner, in violation of Section 415 of the Penal Code of California.”

I was found guilty, fined, and released with time served (about 4 hours in a concrete holding cell). No one appeared to testify against me other than the arresting officer. But the judge kept talking about some woman I’d never even heard of, a Miss Demeanor. (bada bing).

Now, as bad as those charges sound, I was not completely without justification for my behavior. Here’s the rest of the story:

It was Independence Day and my girlfriend, Gail Weed (yes, real name), and I were planning on enjoying the Huntington Beach 4th of July parade. Gail was driving (she had a sweet ’65 Mustang Coupe). Finding a place to park was a bitch, and for some reason, they had blocked off Gothard street with a single barrier saying “road closed”. We observed several cars driving around the barrier and I told Gail to follow them as there may be a place to park down there.

So, after bypassing the barrier we went down a slight hill, and at the bottom were several police cars. And they were issuing tickets to everyone who had taken the detour. Yes, my friends, it was a classic trap. We were set up like bowling pins. Back in those days, I had a bit of a temper, and I was pretty pissed about being suckered in such a fashion, especially on America’s birthday! After the girlfriend received her ticket and we were driving away I expressed my opinion about the whole situation by leaning out the window, extending my middle finger, and shouting in “a loud and boisterous” manner FUCK YOU PIGS!

Apparently, the First Amendment doesn’t cover the heartfelt expression of speech in this fashion. We hadn’t gotten a mile down the road before the police helicopter was hovering overhead. And then a cruiser was behind us with red lights flashing (they were red, not blue, in those days). We pulled over and were then surrounded by no less than three police cars! Shortly thereafter the cop who had issued our ticket arrived and announced “yeah, that’s the sonofabitch”.

I was pulled from Gail’s Mustang and was required to answer a series of questions. One of them that I remember was “do you have any scars, tattoos, or other identifying marks?” I responded that I had a Battleship tattooed on my ass, and when I shit, it sinks. That seemed to really make him even angrier, and the next thing I knew I was being thrown up against the police car, my arms were roughly yanked behind my back, and they slapped the handcuffs on me. Then it was off to the jailhouse. For the record, I don’t really have a tattoo.

Dad came and bailed me out a few hours later, and he was even madder than the cop had been. This is why I found myself living on my own at the tender age of 17. But that’s a story for another day.

Anyway, keeping things in perspective, I take solace from knowing that there were numerous occasions of certain other acts in which I regularly engaged that the state deems criminal and for which I was never arrested. So it all balances out in the end, doesn’t it?

Ah, memories. And Rest In Peace, Gail. I wish I had been a better boyfriend back then.

Let’s lighten things up some, shall we?

Had enough? Me too. See you tomorrow.

I made it through another hotter-than-normal day, so that’s an achievement. The Wednesday Walkers postponed our out-of-town hike in Cawag, opting to stay on mostly shady trails close to home. We found some paths we have not used recently, which is always nice. Lots of ups and downs, but nothing long or overly difficult. Our hike suited the weather!

I glanced out the window after my shower, and saw this:

Swan is participating in a feeding at the native Aeta village in Alibang this Sunday. So her and and a friend went shopping for the food yesterday afternoon. Left to my own devices, I did what I do best–celebrating beer o’clock in town. Started at Sloppy Joe’s and chatted with Chris and Shie. The I paid a visit to It Doesn’t Matter. I had a couple more there, and then I decided to give Roadhouse a try. I guess I just wasn’t feeling it, so I caught a trike for home. I grabbed a couple of beers and headed up to The Rite Spot On The Roof. Swan messaged me, “Are you having fun?” I responded that it’s not fun without her. She said, “I’ll join you, where are you?” At the Rite Spot. I think she was pleasantly surprised and came home to be with me.

It was nice to have some quiet “we” time in our rockers on the roof.

On the dog walk this morning, Swan said I was farting again last night. When I showed her my underwear after my hike, she burst out laughing.

While checking to be sure I hadn’t used today’s post title before, I came across this June 2006 post, which talked mostly about some darting activities in Itaewon. It has lots of pictures and memories of a whole other life. I was still married to #3 then and blissfully ignorant of all the heartache to come. But here I am, on the other side, alive and kicking.

It’s election season, so I’ll just put this out there:

Ready for a Quora Q&A?

Q: I forget words while speaking and repeat certain words again and again when I forget the word coming after them. This happens when I’m in my relatives’ house. What should I do?

A: What should you do? Why not run for president? It worked for Biden.

I answered that over three years ago. Things have only gotten worse.

Today’s smiles:

I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. Check back tomorrow to find out.

I spent most of Easter Sunday dealing with the after-effects of my overindulgence on Saturday night.

But after a day of laziness, I found the strength to take Swan out for an Easter dinner. I chose one of my old favorites, Mangos, for our meal.

We had a leisurely dinner and then lounged about, enjoying watching the the beach crowds.

When the sun went down, we moved up the highway to another old haunt I rarely visit these days–Cheap Charlies. Treated my favorites Alma and Nerissa to a lady drink, Swan enjoyed a glass of wine, and I nursed a San Mig Zero.

On the other hand:

So, I’ll add reducing consumption to my to-do list.

Today is the day that honors fools like me. And in the spirit of the holiday, I posted this joke on my Facebook feed this morning:

REWARD! I got drunk last night and left my girlfriend at the bar—I can’t remember which one. If anyone finds her, please let me know. I have no idea who is going to fix me breakfast now.

Most people seemed to get it. One person asked how many girlfriends I have. I wondered where that came from until I re-read my post and caught the ambiguity of “I can’t remember which one.” I meant I can’t remember which bar. Oh well, the jokes on me!

Speaking of breakfast, here’s what Swan prepared for me this morning:

So, it is Easter Monday with the Hash. The main group will take a rented Jeepney to the starting point at the base of Easter Mountain. Us shortcutters who did the mountain climb on Wednesday will start in Alta Vista and pick up the second half of the trail for a hike along the Black Rock ridgeline. I haven’t done that for a while and I’m looking forward to seeing it again.

And now it is time for a Quora Q&A:

Q: In the spirit of the “Festivus” season, I would like all of you to participate in the “airing of grievances”. What are your grievances?

A: My grievance is having no grievances. It is not fair that I have nothing to complain about!

I used to deny grievances for a living back when I worked in labor relations.

And here’s a fool’s attempt at humor:

Alright, it’s time to get on with the only day on the calendar devoted to me. Look for the Hash update tomorrow.

It’s been hot as hell all week, and now it’s Good Friday. Thursday wasn’t bad either, if a tad on the bland side.

When it came time to walk me, I had it in mind to do a long highway walk out to Olongapo and back. But it is Holy Week, and that’s a really big deal in these parts. I noticed the hotel parking lots were full, and traffic on the highway was even worse than usual.

Swan is still doing her meat distributor business. She takes orders, the wholesaler delivers the goods (from Angeles, I think), and then she goes around town making deliveries. That usually happens on Fridays, but not the Good ones. So, while Swan was taking care of business, I hit the bars. I had a half-off coupon for Green Room, so I went to work. It was almost like old times, drinking beers and watching some pool games, buying lady drinks for my waitress and massage girl, and just chillin’.

When it was time to move on, I went next door to Alaska and used my free beer voucher. Jerry was still in the hospital, but reportedly, the surgery went well, and he is due to be released today. Then Swan messaged that she was finished with her deliveries, so we decided to meet up at Wet Spot. Beer and wine, some chat with Daddy Dave, and take out from Sit-n-Bull to finish our day.

Yep, nothing to write home about, but I blogged it anyway.

My pal Scott messaged me early this morning that his girl had climbed Easter Mountain with her hiking club. At 2:00 a.m.! I cannot imagine doing that climb in the dark, but they did. Others went up just before dawn to see the Good Friday sunrise. God bless them.

I found this story about a man marrying ONE of the conjoined twins, and the implications boggled my brain some. Twitchy handled it in typical humorous fashion, but wow, good luck to them. I can’t imagine the wedding night.

And here is an excellent description of the paradox of being old.

I’ve been seeing some posts on Facebook touting Biden’s accomplishments, and in the spirit of fairness, I’ve been sharing them.

And there’s this:

Enough with politics, let’s do the Quora Q&A:

Q: Why do a lot of Koreans go to the Philippines?

A: I took my Korean girlfriend with me on one of my visits to the Philippines. We landed at Clark airport in Angeles City. While waiting in the immigration line, my girl looked around and said, “There must be 100 people in line, but only three of us are women. Why?” I thought for a moment about all the girly bars in the area and then answered truthfully: “The men are here for the golf.”

True story.

Ready for some humor?

So, a Good Friday group hike this morning, and now I’ll try to make it a Good Friday night on the town. I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.

Why did we climb the mountain before Easter Monday? Because it was there! Actually, I think the thinking for some of us was we’d do the Easter Mountain climb on Wednesday, and then for Monday’s Hash, we’ll do the the second half of the trail over the Black Rock Ridge. As yesterday proved, there is no way most of us could do both in one go.

It was a hot and hard up and a long steep down. The good news is I made it without any breathing issues. Which is not to say it didn’t kick my ass. We’ll see how I feel about making that climb again next year. On a brighter note, Swan came along and really seemed to enjoy herself. She was sore and tired when we were done, but she told me this morning she wants to do it again someday. She did say we should start earlier in the morning when it is not so hot.

The actual climb up top and then back down was less than 3K, but my Fitbit told the story of my cardio workout:

I’ve got a shitload of photos from the adventure to share, so let’s get to it:

Too tuckered out to hit the bars after our hike, but with a shower and a nap, I headed up to The Rite Spot.

Anyway, I guess you could say we got rode hard and put up wet. Still, I’m happy for the experience.

Facebook memories carried me back to springtime in Seoul seven years ago:

What does Quora Q&A have for us today?

Q: Why do some clubs in Korea not allow foreigners inside?

A: Well, I lived in Korea for 12 years before retiring and moving to the Philippines. I do recall the clubs with the “Koreans only” signs out front. I didn’t really care because I didn’t want to go where I was not wanted.

I can only speculate on the reasons why foreigners weren’t welcome. But after moving to the PI, I was amused to learn that the Filipina bargirls have a universal nickname for Korean men: “triple three”. Of course, I had to ask what that meant. They laughed and said “three inches, three minutes, three thousand pesos”.

Not trying to start a cockfight here, just repeating what I heard and thought it was funny.

How about these?

Anyway, life is good. I’m glad to be feeling healthy again. Haven’t even needed my nebulizer lately. Weighed myself after that ass-kicking climb and I lost almost a pound. Water weight after all that sweating, no doubt, but still. Back to the bars tonight!

And many moments make up a day. Here are some of the moments that made up my Tuesday.

Off to Royal for the weekly grocery shopping.

Our next stop was DaKudos for some dinner. I ordered a chef salad and Swan asked for chicken parmesan. Apparently, the cook overlooked our order. After waiting over thirty minutes, our waitress went to check and discovered the fuck up. It was getting late (for me), so we had our orders prepared to go.

The chef salad was excellent, and I ended my Tuesday with a nice night’s sleep.

I’m wiped out today from climbing Easter Mountain with the Wednesday Walkers. I have tons of pictures from that adventure to post tomorrow. Tonight, I’ll be hanging out at The Rite Spot.

Some sad news this morning. Daddy Jerry from Alaska Club (featured in yesterday’s post) was painting the walls of his building at the top of a twenty-foot ladder, and it collapsed, sending him crashing to the floor. He was taken by ambulance to our newly reopened hospital in Barretto and underwent surgery to repair his broken humerus bone. He was lucky it wasn’t worse. Jerry was the first bar owner I met on my first visit to the Philippines in 2007. Back then, his bar was in Angeles City. Get well soon, Jerry!

This gave me a bit of a headache, but I’m sure Kevin Kim will appreciate it:

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

You are welcome!

Something for my redneck friends:

Time for some politics:

Facebook memories took me back to the streets of Seoul eight years ago:

Alright, to the Quora Q&A we go:

Q: When will I ever find whatever I’ve been looking for so long?

A: It’s always the last place you look.

Yes, thousands of comedians are out of work, and I’m trying to be funny.

Let’s try some more humor before I go:

It’s time to head for the roof and watch the sun go down. Back tomorrow with more.