Wade a minute!

Let’s roll!

Overall, a very nice Sausage Walkers adventure yesterday. We took the Hashmobile 25 minutes out of town and walked back. Our path was for the most part along the banks of the Matain river in an area I had not previously walked. I always enjoy new vistas.

We’re here! Um, wait a minute…are we gonna cross the river? On that?

Well, it wasn’t entirely new. When the truck pulled off the roadway I spotted an all too familiar bridge. One that on a previous long ago walk I had refused to cross, subjecting me to some good-natured derision from my fellow hikers. Once I had confirmed that it was, in fact, the same bridge and it was indeed the plan that we should cross, I came to the same conclusion I had back then–a big NOPE! This time several others in our group agreed that discretion actually is the better part of valor and joined me on an alternative hike a few meters upriver for a more suitable crossing.

The bridge too far.
I don’t mind getting my feet wet. Water dries faster than blood after all.
After we waded across we rejoined the main group who had all done the bridge without incident. Good for them. I’m not sure what it is, but I just know me trying to cross that bridge would not have ended well. The first time I got about a third of the way over and when it started swaying I was done. I have a fear of heights anyway which seems to compound my natural lack of balance.
Fuck you, bitch. It ain’t NEVER gonna happen!

It’s similar to this “stairway to heaven” video Kevin Kim shared on his blog. At least for me.

Anyway, the group re-formed and we went on our way (the last time I’d avoided this bridge, we turned left. Yesterday we turned right. Hence, a new trail for me).

Let’s walk!
That really gets my goat…
Passed through a peaceful village…
The local schoolhouse…
They say that every picture tells a story. Not sure what this story is all about. Nothing in the cart I’d spend a quarter for though…
And on we march!
Another river crossing. We weren’t going that way, but I wouldn’t have any trouble crossing this bridge. It’s new, it’s more stable looking, and with all that netting, even a clumsy oaf like me couldn’t fall off…
Speaking of falls…
A river runs through it…
And on and on we go…
…through orchards…
…and fields of green.
Lunch break time. I know who I’d like to be eating. Er, eating with I mean.
Instead, I enjoyed a granny smith apple and cheese, some mixed nuts, and a cinnamon roll from Angel’s bakery.
Christmas season here is in full swing…
The rice crop has been harvested and laid in the street to dry…
After lunch, it was time to make our way to our traditional watering hole. Some hearty members of the group wanted to do a mountain climb before we finished. The rest of us made our way through the comparatively flat streets of Alta Vista.
The view from Cheap Charlies. As you can see, the National Highway remains under construction.
All told, we had us a nice little 7K hike through some pretty countryside. I’ll call that a good day!

Oh, and Happy Halloween! I’ll be going to a party tonight at Queen Victoria bar. Everyone keeps asking if I’m going to dress up, so I guess I will. Pictures tomorrow!

And a quick update on Ilene. Ran into her last night at Cheap Charlies. She was with Stuart, another member of the Wednesday walking group. He asked me if I’d mind taking a photo. Well, of course I wouldn’t mind.

Damn it!

Kokomo’s

I made my way out to Baloy Beach yesterday afternoon and visited the recently re-opened floating bar called Kokomo’s. It’s the first one out this season (Blue Rock and Arizona also feature floating bars). I enjoy the ambiance of drinking my beers on the water for some reason.

As seen from the beach…
…and from the raft used to transport patrons to the bar…

And once I was on board I had a bit of a surprise. Amongst the dozen or so working girls young women waiting for customers were two gals I first met at the Hash–Arcel (Subic Ice Queen) and Julica (Libre Boom Boom).

That’s Julica in the white dress. I had a pretty major crush on her when we first met. Turns out she’s a butterfly, always looking for the next best thing. Rumor has it that she also has a Filipino boyfriend. Whatever. I got the sense last night she might have figured out she blew it. That’s the way it goes. I bought her a couple of drinks just to show there are no hard feelings.
Now with Arcel, you always know where things stand and I appreciate that. When we first met she was dating another Hasher. After they broke up, I met her a couple of times for, shall we say, transactional purposes. Anyway, it was a fun evening hanging out with her at the bar.
I didn’t get a chance to meet this girl but I will never forget her, um, face…

And there you have an update on the drunken portion of my life. And speaking of dogs (ahem), how about these:

I came across this picture I took of Lucky before he was mine. The fucked-up nature of his life on a two-foot chain was what motivated me to rescue him.
And here is Lucky last night tolerating hugs from his drunk master…
Don’t worry, I saved some love for my Buddy boy too!

My dogs ain’t heroes or anything, so I guess I don’t have to worry about whatever shady things they may have done being exposed by the likes of CNN.

Although I did catch Buddy peeing on my kitchen trashcan the other day…

Now, wasn’t that fun?


Off the Florida Keys, there’s a place called Kokomo
That’s where you want to go to get away from it all
Bodies in the sand, tropical drink melting in your hand
We’ll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in Kokomo

Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take you to
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go
oh I want to take you down to
Kokomo, we’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow
That’s where we want to go, way down in Kokomo

It wasn’t me

I was officially a Hare yesterday (by officially I mean I didn’t have to pay Hash dues, Hares are free) but it was all Scott (Pubic Head) and Jim (Blow My Pipe) doing the heavy lifting, I was just along to assist. The big news was that it was Scott’s 184th time in the saddle as a Hare, making him the most prolific Hare in the history of the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers. Congrats!

With all that experience there are very few trails that Scott hasn’t hiked. He’s like a freakin’ encyclopedia on Hashing and actually maintains an electronic library of Hash trails going back years. Still, I was a little surprised when he declined my offer to go out and do some scouting on Sunday. Instead, he sent me a map of his intended path and said we’d mark it Monday morning. Alrighty then.

So we gathered at the appointed hour (0800) at Johansson’s. Grabbed the jugs of powder, chalk, and shredded paper then caught a Jeepney to the trailhead in Olongapo City.

Me and Pubic Head in the Jeepney. Not pictured but present, Blow My Pipe.

I personally prefer to not have to be transported to start a Hash run. As uncomfortable as a Jeepney might be, that f’n Hashmobile is much worse. I asked Scott what we’d do if the number of Hashers exceeded the Hash truck capacity and he just shrugged and said they could take a Jeepney. Again, it wasn’t my trail so I didn’t argue.

After disembarking from our transportation, we began the first of two major climbs on the day.
I kept myself busy along the way marking trail. Here I’m drawing a chalk arrow on a rock showing the intended direction.

We came down from the first hill at a spot on the highway different from where Scott intended. He was able to recalibrate and shortly thereafter we began our second ascent of the day. And it was a steep motherfucker! Quite surprising really. Some Hares have a nasty reputation for killer trails. Old dudes like Scott and me are thought to be saner. Usually, that’s the case. Not so much yesterday, at least on the second hill.

This wasn’t so bad. A bit later though we somehow wound up off-trail so we made our own path for awhile…
…and in due course, we intersected with the trail we wanted and all was well.
A nice view from the top.

One thing I did like about the trail was that we had a portion where we walked the beach.

It’s been a while since we’ve Hashed on the beach.
These flowers were growing in abundance on the beach portion of our trail…
See what I mean?

Anyway, when it was all said and done the trail came in at 5.5 kilometers.

Here’s how it looked from above. I like this image because it clearly shows the mountains that separate Olongapo City (on the right) from Barretto (top left). You can also see the dirt road path that runs along the ridgeline. I spend too much a lot of time up there suffering on exploring the wilderness trails.
We had a big turnout for the Hash that afternoon and just barely managed to squeeze everyone into the back of the Hashmobile. I was so thankful that I was not one of those sardines.

The feedback from the Hashers was mostly positive and with just a couple of exceptions, folks did not have difficulty following the trail. And most importantly, no one got injured. When I Hare I always worry about that. Heh, it’s kinda like being a parent I suppose. All’s well that ends well!

When I got back home after laying trail I was hungry. Had some leftover pulled pork in the fridge, so…

…I figured a pulled pork burrito would hit the spot. It did.

What else? Well, Facebook shared this memory from three years ago:

You know, I always had fun with Eun Oke. It’s too bad we couldn’t find our way.

Up for a little political humor?

It’s quite shocking to witness the depths to which our so-called mainstream media has sunk. Sad, because democracy depends on a free and vibrant press to keep those who would steal our freedoms in check. Instead, the press has largely become enablers of the deep state powers that be. When the criminals like Brennan, Clapper, and Comey are exposed, will they and their minions be held to account? I’m not holding my breath.
It’s really sad that so many on the left actually hate Trump more than this guy.

Okay, enough of that bullshit. I am fortunate to live in the Philippines from where most of the insanity back home can be ignored. Let’s cleanse our palate with a cute dog picture, shall we?

This is how Lucky likes to sleep. Looks damned uncomfortable to me.

One of the floating bars (Kokomo’s) has just opened for the season. I think I’ll go welcome them back!


Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt-naked, banging on the bathroom floor

How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me

How you can give your woman access to your villa?
Trespass and a-witness while you cling to your pillow
You better watch your back before she turn into a killer
Let’s review the situation that you caught up in a

To be a true player you have to know how to play
If she say a night, convince her say a day
Never admit to a word when she say
And if she claim, ah, you tell her, “Baby, no way”

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn’t me)
Saw me bangin’ on the sofa (It wasn’t me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn’t me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn’t me)

She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn’t me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn’t me)
Heard the scream get louder (It wasn’t me)
She stayed until it was over

Out and about

Just a quick post before I head out to assist the Hare in marking the trail for today’s Hash. He asked if I’d help and I’d just as soon do trail in the morning as I would this afternoon.

Last night saw me back at Cheap Charlies. Thus far in the battle of the bars, I’m finding my comfort level higher in the familiar surroundings of CC. Plus I got a nice back rub from Maya in exchange for a couple of lady drinks. That’s about as good as it gets! Well, it gets LOTS better in my fantasies, but you know what I mean.

I did up some pulled pork in the slow cooker for nourishment.
Some type of religious procession passed by on the highway while I was enjoying my beers. Not sure what Catholic occasion warranted a parade, but it was something different to look at anyway.
A commenter wanted more dog pics. Here’s Buddy and Lucky enjoying their yard time.
I thought this response to Patton Oswalt was genius.

So, I just discovered that I can post GIFs here. I guess I’m a sick bastard, but this one cracked me up.:

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now.

Mission accomplished!

Kevin Kim has successfully completed his 633-kilometer trek from Incheon to Busan. It was far from a walk in the park, notwithstanding the natural beauty of Korea surrounding him. He had to overcome massive pain in his feet that started early in the hike and rarely subsided, even with massive doses of pain relief meds. Kevin persevered through a strong sense of willpower and dedication to accomplishing his long-planned for objective.

Well done! It was great to follow along with you in a “better him than me” kind of way. Looking forward to your after-action report and recounting of the lessons learned during 29 days on the road.

Well, I’ve never been to Spain…

…but I’ve been to Bar Celona.

Yep, last night I attended the grand opening of the newest bar in Barretto–Bar Celona. It’s a rooftop bar, similar to Cheap Charlies. Beers were a bargain at P50 ($1.00) each. They have a pool table, big-screen TVs, good music at a reasonable volume, and friendly staff. That’s a good combination for success! Speaking of staff, I recognized several employees who had previously worked at Cheap Charlies. Familiar faces on the first day of operation, can’t beat that!

Truth be told, I don’t actually like the name. When I open my bar I’m going to name it “The Rite Spot”. Of course, I’m never going to actually open a bar.
The pool table area. There’s actually a dartboard back there too. Essentially unplayable when the pool table is in use. Ah well, no bar is perfect.
The bar area. The bartender and my waitress had both previously worked at Cheap Charlies.
And there across the highway is my old favorite, Cheap Charlies. It appeared they had some customers last night too, so it will be interesting to see how this competition plays out. It felt a little bit like I was cheating on a girlfriend. Ah well, I’ve not made up my mind about which is my favorite yet. I’ll probably patronize both. Everybody wins!

Speaking of Cheap Charlies, the news isn’t good. As seen on one of the forums I frequent:


Popped into Foodies ( cottage pie historic!) and spoke to Tim. Graham’s massive stroke has killed 50% of his brain, so he is robbed of speech functions, memory and does not recognize anyone! He has no chance of recovery and the hope is he can be repatriated within the next 3 weeks, it will cost approximately £28k to get him back to Scotland, so his sister can take care of him. It’s a shame as he wouldn’t want to live in this state and I am sure you would agree that you wouldn’t let a dog suffer like this! 

A good reminder to us all to live each day for today, tomorrow may not come and we may not know it if it does. Sad for Graham.

Anyway, came home from the bar via trike, so I wasn’t feeling any pain. And waiting for me in the crockpot was some hot chili:

I’d also baked up some cornbread before I went out. Good eating!

And finally, from my walk this morning:

Damn, I wish I’d gone to a “child friendly” school. Those mean bastards at mine were quick with the paddle and had a hatred for smart asses like me.

Luckily I survived. In fact, it’s probably fair to say I’ve outlived them all now. What goes around comes around and I reckon my time is coming. But not yet!


Well, I’ve never been to Spain
But I kinda like the music
Say the ladies are insane there
And they sure know how to use it

They don’t abuse it
Never gonna lose it
I can’t refuse it

Round here

Just some stuff I’ve seen while I’ve been out and about.

Woke up to a beautiful morning so I was inspired to step out on the upstairs deck to snap a photo. Oops, some ugly bastard is blocking the view.
There, that’s better!
This blossomed right out in my front yard…
I was so inspired I took the dogs for a walk on Baloy beach and then we had breakfast at Treasure Island. Lucky is saying “More Bacon! More Bacon!”
I guess she won’t be giving any more head. *ahem*
When I saw this door beckoning to me I wasn’t sure if it was a Lewis Carroll or a C.S. Lewis adventure that awaited me. I decided to play it safe and just walk on by.
The infrastructure in the Philippines is poles apart from what you find in the West…
…thank goodness this country is so wired. Otherwise, the telephone pole would fall down.
It rained for an hour yesterday afternoon. The hour I happened to be out walking. Got soaked and couldn’t find the pot-of-gold either. Oh well. I got my steps in.
That’s pretty much me when I think about commas…

And that’s the way I see things around here.


Step out the front door like a ghost
into the fog where no one notices
the contrast of white on white.
And in between the moon and you
the angels get a better view
of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.
I walk in the air between the rain
through myself and back again
Where? I don’t know
Maria says she’s dying
through the door I hear her crying
Why? I don’t know

Round here we always stand up straight
Round here something radiates

There and back again

Another day, another journey. This time with the Wednesday Sausage Walkers group. Lately, I make a decision on whether to participate or not based on where the group is going and/or who is leading the group on that day. Now when it was announced we would ride the Hashmobile out to Gordon Heights in Olongapo City and then make our way up to Tralala, I normally would have been in a “thanks, but no thanks” mode. But there were a couple of other slow walkers in attendance so I decided what the hell and went along despite my reservations.

I’d done the climb to Tralala once before back in February. I swore back then “never again”. And all the way up this time I was swearing at myself for being so stupid as to consent to this replay. Ah well. According to my fitness tracker, we did a 400-meter ascent. I’d say two-thirds of that was steps, and the remainder a less arduous path meandering its way to the top. It was a challenge for this tired old man, that’s for sure.

Here’s the path we took. Up from Gordon Heights, then across the ridge, and back down into Barretto. All told, just under 10K.
In the truck for the uncomfortable 30-minute ride into the heart of Olongapo City. Yes, that’s Ilene on the left ignoring me.
Out of the truck and psyching up for the ascent.
And up we go!
Up and up. In my mind I’m like that obnoxious child in the back seat “are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
These kids were cute and friendly, although I’m sure they were thinking foreigners must be nuts to climb up here for no reason…
I’m going up, he’s coming down. And the world keeps on spinning around. Heh, I’m a poet and don’t know it.
It’s not like I’m above it all or anything like that. But I found myself looking down on Olongapo City…
The Sausage Walkers taking advantage of a photo opportunity to catch our breath. At least I was. I’m told Stuart (on the far left) is not Ilene’s boyfriend. Hmm.
We ain’t at the top yet, but we are entering the Tralala sitio, whatever in the hell that is…
Jim offering me words of encouragement: “Come on slowpoke, we are almost there…”
“Hold on, Jim. Just let me stop and smell these flowers first.”
We lost the trail briefly and this kind woman came out of her shack to point us in the right direction. She said she was the President of the Tralala school. It must not pay well, we were all surprised to see her shanty occupied. I counted at least 3 young kids in the yard as well. But she was very friendly and helpful, as are most Filipinos.
And after just a few minutes we arrived at the church/school that sits smack dab on top of the mountain. There are no roads up here whatsoever. I have no idea how this large building was constructed.
A view from the top of Tralala…
We took a brief lunch break in the schoolyard. Hey, it looks like Ilene is checking out my ass! Hmm.
We had a long walk back to Barretto ahead of us. At least the ridgeline was pretty much level and easier on my tired lungs…
And it was a beautiful day in the mountains…
The path did get a little rocky in places though…I’m the fat old guy in the back. As usual.
And finally, we began making our way back down…
Barrio Barretto (and cold beer) awaits!
“Hurry up, Scott! I’m thirsty!”
Jim stops to assist a goat who got tangled in his rope…

And then finally we were done. I was so tired I only had two beers, then hoofed it on home. Took a nice nap and said fuck darts tonight.

This was my day according to Fitbit. The big thing here is the 268 floors, at least for me. I’m a lazy bastard who prefers flat land.

I’m no Kevin Kim, that’s for sure. These past four days of strenuous (for me) activity make what Kevin is doing all the more impressive. My daily output is about 1/3 of what he’s doing routinely on his hike across South Korea. Well, if nothing else I’ve learned my limits.

This morning I rewarded myself with a foot spa and pedicure. It was just what I needed!

I’m going to keep on walkin’, it’s what I do. At least when the sun is up. Nighttime is for rehydration, and beer seems to do the trick.

Those hours ain’t gonna fill themselves!

Look at the time! I need to get my afternoon steps in. I’m going to take it slow, flat, and easy today though.

Thanks for following along!

UPDATE: Okay, now this is kinda funny. I used the “there and back again” title once before, back in April 2017. That post was in recognition of Kevin Kim’s beginning a walk from Seoul to Busan. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

Bundok boondoggle

My third Hash event in three days is in the books. Now, the Bundok Hash is a once a year thing here and it’s “special”. Well, special in a way that I am duty-bound to not discuss publicly. Suffice to say it is limited in attendance to 22 brave souls who are biologically male. I met those stringent conditions and had the money required (P3500/$70) to participate. And so I did.

Now, it was like other Hashes in the sense that it did involve a walk/run and beer drinking. The Hares advised that the long trail was around 8K and the short trail was 4K. There was also a beer stop set up 2K into the hike.

Okay, well. I opted to do the long hike. And as usual, the runners and faster walkers soon disappeared way out in front of me. The trail began in familiar territory going through my subdivision and down into the small village of Marian Hills. That’s where the beer truck was parked and waiting. Now, I didn’t see the wisdom in providing beer so early in the hike, but so be it. What was surprising was that just me and another slow walker, Cannonball, were at the truck. I asked the Hares where the runners were and was told that we were the first to arrive. That didn’t make sense at all.

I found out later that everyone in front of me had missed the trail in Alta Vista, and went off on a tangent of some sort. In fact, NO ONE else made it to the beer stop at all. The only explanation was that the trail markings were confusing. In one sense they were–the short trail was simply to the beer truck and back. And the Hare had arrows going in both directions. I had correctly surmised this is what was going on so I had continued on the proper path. So, suffice to say this was a pretty major boondoggle. A Hare should always avoid having the trail cross over itself to ensure this kind of confusion doesn’t happen. And having the beer stop at the beginning of a long hike is also stupid. I had one beer and then a decision to make.

I chose to continue on with the long hike but planned to short cut as needed. The arrows pointed up to a familiar path and eventually intersected with My Bitch, so I figured I’d been well within my comfort zone. Cannonball opted to come along with me. Now, Cannonball is built like, well, a cannonball. Big and round. He asked if it was a hard trail and I responded that there was one moderate uphill and then it should all flat or downhill back to Barretto. So off we went.

Well, Cannonball struggled mightily with the uphill. I had to help him up in a couple of spots (I usually come down this way, so the climbing was a bit more difficult than expected). It was slow going, but we eventually made it to the top without an accident. My plan at this point given the time was to shortcut down to Columban College and then walk the streets back to our on-home at Hot Zone. Alas, I somehow missed the proper downhill trail and found that we were taking the path that leads to Rizal Extension. Oh well, it just added thirty minutes or so to the hike. Food was served at 5:00 and we arrived at 5:15. They saved us some.

We were later recognized as being DFL (dead fucking last) and required to sit on the ice for that sin. I did note that we were the only two in attendance who had walked the actual trail, but of course, no one cared.

Another boondoggle was with something I can’t really discuss here. The Bundok euphemism is “software”. So, we’ll just say there was a software problem. The Grand Master had mentioned a week or so ago that he was short on software and I told him no problem, I’d bring my own. Well, I guess things resolved in the interim and he had plenty of software to go around, but I had already made arrangements for mine to be, um, delivered. When it was he got pissed and got in my face yelling some, but in the end, it worked out. My software performed well and the Grand Master apologized.

And I guess that enough about the Bundok. Oh, I did get this nifty shirt:

The front…
The back…

And then there was this warning label inside the shirt:

Rules are rules I suppose.

Maybe I’ve said too much already.

Peace out!

An abbreviated anniversary

Quite an event yesterday in celebration of the SBH3 26th anniversary. 121 Hashers in attendance, the third largest gathering in the history of our group. Normal attendance is usually 30-40, so it was something to behold. Logistically it was a bit of a nightmare. We had the Hashmobile and two Jeepneys on hand for transportation, and that wasn’t enough so they had to make two trips. I got “lucky” and got on one of the first Jeeps, but it broke down a bit short of the trail, so I had to walk a little more at the beginning. I wound up shortcutting on the end, so I guess it all balanced out.

The on-home of course was packed and the line for the provided food (tacos and chili) was long. I wound up leaving before the circle was completed. I was in a pissy mood about something non-Hash related. Wound up hitting some bars and getting pretty damn drunk. Oh well, all the nights can’t be good ones I suppose.

Johansson’s was packed with Hashers getting the low-down on the upcoming trail from the Hare, Leech My Nuggets.
Packed like sardines into a Jeepney that couldn’t make it up the hill on Rizal Extension. So we walked.
On-On…
A pleasant view…
And another.
The grass was high but manageable.
On-Home at Da Kudos…
Hashers on the beach…
And the sun sets on another Hash.

Another Hash this afternoon, the Bundok. This one is for males only and promises to be a little, shall we say, spicier. We’ll see. Maybe it will help get me out of this piss poor mood.

The view from here

Yesterday I participated in the Angeles City Hash House Harriers 41st-anniversary run. It was my second time joining an AC Hash; I was also there for last year’s anniversary. Six fellow Subic Hashers made the journey with me, filling my driver’s vehicle to capacity. The actual trail we hiked was about 45 minutes outside of AC near the town of Porac. I am firmly in the camp of “it’s good to see something new,” so I enjoyed that aspect of the trip. I’ll let the pictures tell the story.

I did the long trail (6.7K) which was mostly flat. Lots of rice fields and other agriculture. The natives were friendly, one guy even offered me water from his well.
And I’m off…
Something was growing but I’m no farmer so can’t say what it is…
You stay on your side of the path and I’ll stay on mine…
That’s Anal Retentive and Blow My Pipe, both of whom joined me for the trip from Subic.
Harvest time…
I guess all you need in life is a roof over your head and something to eat…
Pigs in a pail…
Not many hills and what there were, were not so bad.
Come on down!
Who in the hell is that old guy? Oh wait a minute, that’s me!
Mounds and mounds…
Peace like a river…
The view from on high, such as it was.
The street of a dusty little village we walked through…
Pubic Head gingerly crossing a stream…
It was a relief to not have to deal with that damn thatch grass on this hike…
A lonely road…
Wide-open spaces…
Making our way on-home…
The on-home was a big open field. Over 100 Hashers in attendance.
The actual circle was very disappointing. For one thing, they ran out of beer! How does that happen?
Now, the Subic Bay circle is proudly non-PC. But damn, this one guy leading the group talked about which ASEAN country had been shown to have the lowest IQ. Of course, it was the Philippines. And then he proceeded to make mocking references about Filipinos. Um, dude. Lots of guys there with Filipino wives and girlfriends. Probably not the time or place to make fun of the people and the nation where we have chosen to live.
It was good to get back to Barretto and enjoy some beers at Cheap Charlies in our new SBH3 anniversary shirts.

Anyway, I was not impressed with the AC Hash. Attending once a year is more than enough for me.

Today we celebrate the Subic Bay Hash 26th anniversary. I’m sure it will be much more fun than I had yesterday. Stay tuned!

Addition by subtraction

If you think my grammar and punctuation are bad, you should have seen me doing math at darts last night.

I’m not the most accurate or consistent thrower, but I do pride myself on knowing my out shots. For you non-darters, the game of 501 requires that you finish with a double-out. So for example, if you have 32 left on the board, you would need a double 16 to win. But that’s the easy part. Setting yourself up to have an outshot requires some strategic thinking. Or at least the ability to do some simple subtraction.

So, last night my partner leaves me with a 91 out. The best way to throw a 91 out is to go triple 17 (51 points) and double 20 (40 points) for the win. Easier said than done of course. So I step up to the throw line brimming with confidence, aimed at that triple 17, and let my dart fly. Thunk. Single 3. So, with 89 left the preferred shot is triple 19, double 16. I threw a single 19, precluding any possible out with my remaining dart. Best you can do in that situation is to leave a good outshot for your partner’s next throw. I threw a single 18 leaving a 52.

Except the scorer said we had 51 remaining. I respectfully disagreed, having done the math in my head as I threw. She said “3 + 19 + 18 = 40. 40 from 91 leaves 51.” The scorer even illustrated her point by writing out what she was saying. How can that be? I mean, I couldn’t argue that the numbers didn’t equal 40, but I was quite certain that I was leaving my partner an even number. So I said, “91 – 3 = 89. 89 -19 =70. 70 – 18 = 52.” She looked at me like I was stupid or something. So, I started to explain my reasoning again, 91 – 3 = 89… She shook her head and said “no, it doesn’t. That leaves 88.” Oh shit. “Never mind,” I said and sheepishly walked away.

Dumb as a rock, but good enough to take first place anyway. My partner is also a Hasher (Demolition Derby) and will be joining me in Angeles City later this morning.

Walked the dogs, grilled some brats for breakfast, and baked up a batch of brownies to share on the drive down to Angeles. Busy morning.

A high view from Alta Vista taken during yesterday’s afternoon walk.
I wish my camera skills could match the beauty of the sunlight sneaking through the clouds. Hopefully, you get the idea.

Alrighty then, time to prepare for the Hash with my fellow Hashers in AC. More drivel to come, but at least from a new venue! Stay tuned!

Life and death

My life but not my death, fortunately. Still, perspective is a wonderful thing. Mundane and routine are actually quite nice when you consider the potentially fatal alternatives.

Alright, let’s get the bad out of the way. We had a pretty gruesome murder event yesterday that has reverberated throughout our small town.


Police are looking into a restaurant business deal as one of the possible motives for the killing of  Anthony George Wilson, 61, an Australian national and Mila Bailey, 41, a Filipina inside their car in Olongapo City Friday.

The companion of the victims who was driving the car, Wayne Bailey, 71, was wounded.

The suspect in the shooting was identified as Michael McLaren, the fourth passenger in the vehicle, who escaped but was later on arrested.
According to Olongapo Police chief, Police Colonel Benjamin Sembrano,  McLaren allegedly bought a hotel and restaurant from the Baileys through cash.

The victims were business owners here in Barretto. One owned the Gum Leaves Resort and another the Crazy Horse bar. I did not know either of them. What is very unusual is that this is apparently a foreigner-on-foreigner crime, something that is almost unheard of in these parts. I mean, when you can hire a hitman for $100, why do the dirty work yourself?

Not a pretty sight. At least they have the alleged culprit in custody.

Meanwhile, in my non-violent world, here’s what’s happening:

Breakfast is served. It didn’t taste like shit, but then again, I have no idea what shit is supposed to taste like.

A third-place finish in darts last night. That’s not bad considering I wasn’t consistently on my game and my partner couldn’t hit shit. On a shingle or otherwise. I did manage another ton-80 though. Win or lose, I honestly don’t care. I’m at that stage of my “career” where I just want to have fun.

As seen on my morning walk. No idea what this display is all about and there was no way I was going to the door to ask!

Some speculate that this is intended to be Halloween decorations. I doubt that though as Halloween is not really a thing here. Besides, we are well into the Christmas decorations and carols season (that starts on September 1–the “ber” months as they are called).

A nice view from my afternoon walk.

An interesting hike it was. I didn’t get “lost” lost, just missed my intended trail and wound up on one that I wasn’t sure where it led. It eventually led me back down off the mountain in a place I hadn’t been before. Well, I mean, it was in Barretto, just not a neighborhood I’d walked. Might have some potential for a future Hash trail. We’ll see.

Speaking of the Hash, I’m going to Angeles City tomorrow to participate in the ACH3 41st-anniversary run. We have our 26th anniversary run in Subic on Monday, and on Tuesday I’ll be doing the Bundok Hash. I’m no Kevin Kim, but that’s a lot of walking in store for me.

I don’t own a car here, but if I did this is how I’d like to see it washed:

You are welcome!

My pride is restored!

Now I’ll have to be really careful to avoid a fall.

As I alluded to in yesterday’s post, I executed a search for a lost trail. Anyhow, I made the bottom-up approach work where I had failed earlier when trying to go top to bottom. It wasn’t easy and I can understand better why it didn’t work out the other day. At the bottom portion of the trail, I didn’t have to deal with that tall thatch grass, but it didn’t look like anyone had been using that path for several months. Covered in leaves and branches and the like. At one point I literally had to tear my way through fallen tree limbs. I couldn’t find the trail the other day because it no longer even looks like a trail. What a pain in the ass it was, but my pride would not allow another failure. At least this time I was pretty confident I’d find my way up without killing myself. And I was right!

My nephew Justin returned from his trip to Manila last night. He’d been there to secure his new work visa from the Korean embassy and was successful in that endeavor. So we did some celebrating with a small bar crawl that was quite pleasant.

I guess I don’t really talk much about the nightlife here, but other than special events like the SOB there’s not much to say. For me anyway, it’s all about the enjoyment of some cold beers after walking so hard during the day. But here’s a brief recap of our night on the town.

Justin took the bus from Manila to Olongapo, then caught a Jeepney that dropped him off in Barretto. I was waiting for him in Cheap Charlies when he arrived. We had some beers for ourselves and Rosemarie and Maya enjoyed some lady drinks in exchange for their pleasant company. We also ordered up some food and shared with the girls who by all appearances must have been hungry indeed!

We then left Cheap Charlies for a bar I very rarely visit–Coco Lips. It’s a girly bar with dancers and loud music which is really not my thing. But I’m friends with a woman who recently started working there as a waitress. Michelle was very happy to see us and of course, we had her join us for some lady drinks. She and Justin actually seemed to hit it off quite well. I held out as long as my ears could tolerate the music, then we moved on down the highway to Alley Cats.

Justin and Michelle getting acquainted.

There were no customers when we walked in and Justin’s favorite bargirl, Jerlyn, wasn’t working. I rang the bell (buying all the girls a drink) to liven things up some. The girls rely on drink commissions so it was nice to see their smiles as they enjoyed their beverages. Justin really started pounding the beers (three to my one!) which made me a little nervous, so I suggested we head on home. After we got outside he wanted to pop into Queen Victoria bar to see a girl named Sally. What the hell, the boy is on vacation so I relented.

While Justin spent some time with his favorite I chatted with the bartender and wound up buying her a drink as well. As starved as the bargirls may get for drink commissions, it can be worse for the person behind the bar who is often overlooked. Anyway, she was pleased which pleased me. It was now well past my bedtime, so I told Justin it was time for me to go. He came along and he was surprised when I called for a trike instead of walking home. Yeah, I was pretty drunk.

So, there you have what a night on the town looks like. We made several girls really happy and including the food, I spent maybe $70. Back in my Korea days, I’d spend that much just on me. A normal night here I’d be hard-pressed to drop twenty bucks in the bar. It’s definitely cheaper in the Philippines, which makes it easy to be generous. Everyone wins!

Here are some photos from my hiking adventure yesterday:

In my subdivision. They call it “Alta Vista” for reason…
Out of the subdivision, into the wild…
Easter mountain in the distance…
An example of why you need to watch your step. That hole is about 12 feet deep. Fall in there and you are in a world of hurt…
The entrance to Marian Hills. It’s a small community of ramshackle houses, but much nicer than the typical squatter shacks. My understanding is that the US Navy helped build this place back in the last century as a charity project.
A street scene in Marian Hills…
Some flowers I saw along the way. Speaking of flowers and scenic vistas, I hope y’all are following along on Kevin Kim’s walk across Korea. Good stuff!
And here it is–the start of the up trail I couldn’t find my way down earlier this week. I’ve walked it many times, but not in the past few months. Apparently no one else has either.
The higher I went, the harder it got to see what used to be a pretty distinct trail…
And then it disappeared completely is a sea of grass.
Still, I knew I was close to the top and the junction with My Bitch. So onward I went, and there it was! You can see the trail now, right? After that, it was pretty much smooth sailing…
There was a lonely old man living in this shack. I felt so sorry for him. A few weeks ago I brought him some crackers and cookies. He seems to be gone now. Hopefully to a better place…
And then it was the end of the trail and back to the familiar environs of Alta Vista.
Where the sun sets on another day…

Can’t find my way home

Greetings from the Philippines. And as I write this I’m currently sitting safely at home. Stick around for an explanation of this post’s title.

A very busy day in the life yesterday. Going backward in time, here’s how it went down:

I played darts last night for the first time in a couple of weeks. I was quite surprised at my performance overall. I threw the rare (for me) ton-80 (three triple 20s = 180 points, the highest score possible) and was rewarded with a free drink coupon. More importantly, I guess, my partner and I went undefeated on the night, including a hard-fought win against Steve, the Englishman who doesn’t drink.

My partner, Tommy, is a Swedish guy with a hot Japanese wife, not sure how that happens. That’s Jo and Christy who we beat in the winner’s bracket. As is my custom, when it came time to play the finals, I suggested we call it a tie and split 1st and 2nd place money. They readily agreed and we all went home drunk and happy. Well, at least I did.

Waiting patiently at home for me was this:

It’s been quite some time since I’ve attempted a pot roast in the slow cooker. I started this one at 8 a.m. and given my late night of darts, didn’t stop cooking it until after 9 p.m. The meat was so tender it fell apart with a fork, something I’ve not been able to achieve since the move to the Philippines and using the Australian beef that is available here. This is a picture of my lunchtime leftovers today.

My Wednesday started with the normal dog walking routine, then I headed out to join the Sausage Walkers for our weekly hike.

Waiting for the 10 a.m. start at Angel’s Bakery. That young woman in front of me is a new member of the group, Ilene. I’m quite attracted to her and got really excited when she sent me a Facebook friend request a few days ago. She’s a manager at Treasure Island Resort and I popped in there a couple of times hoping to get some indication the attraction was mutual. Alas, she gave me no sign that that was indeed the case. Oh well. Judging by what I’ve seen of her life on Facebook, she may actually be out of my league. She is at the gym a lot and does this decathlon-like competition. If she were mine I might not be able to keep up with her. Probably better to just play it safe.
Up we go! Lookin’ good Ilene!
Into the wild green yonder…
Catching our breath. Ilene takes mine away. What a cutie!
This wasn’t the fun part!
Movin’ on out… As usual, I’m at the back of the pack. “Wait for me, Ilene!”
Yeah, yeah, I’m the slow old guy. Sorry to keep y’all waiting…
Sausage Walkers group shot. Largest turnout we’ve had in quite some time!
All told, the hike came in at just under 8K. That’s about right for me…
It appears I enjoyed myself. One commenter on Facebook said I need a bra. Excuse me, jealous much?

So, it was much more fun than I had on my solo hike on Tuesday afternoon. I took the familiar My Bitch trail but was looking for the turn-off path that leads back down into Marian Hills and onward to my home in the Alta Vista subdivision. But damn, that fuckin’ thatch grass was so thick and tall I couldn’t find the trail. Couldn’t see the path for the grass as it were. I mean, I knew I was at the junction (a stand of banana trees is my landmark) so I bravely dove into the wild thinking surely I’d find a way down, if not the way. I spent about 30 minutes at it and then got paranoid. Yeah, I was pretty much lost and thinking about all the bad things that could potentially happen to me, like stepping off a cliff. I realized that were I to get hurt, no one would find me. So, prudence prevailed and I carefully retreated. Once back up top, I continued on to Rizal Extension and the long-ass walk back to my house. What I thought would be a one hour walk turned out to be 2.5 hours long.

Anyway, this afternoon I’m going back. But this time I’m going to work my way up from the bottom. I’ll find that f’n trail or die trying! So, I guess this might be goodbye…


Come down off your throne and leave your body alone
Somebody must change
You are the reason I’ve been waiting so long
Somebody holds the key

But I’m near the end and I just ain’t got the time
And I’m wasted and I can’t find my way home

Come down on your own and leave your body alone
Somebody must change
You are the reason I’ve been waiting all these years
Somebody holds the key

But I’m near the end and I just ain’t got the time
And I’m wasted and I can’t find my way home

But I can’t find my way home
But I can’t find my way home
But I can’t find my way home
But I can’t find my way home
Still I can’t find my way home
And I ain’t done nothing wrong
But I can’t find my way home

The song that was in my head during my fruitless effort to find the path I was seeking…

A close shave

A long but satisfying day yesterday. Up and out early in order to lay the trail for the 1,370th running of the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers. By most accounts those efforts were successful. As a Hare, I hold myself responsible for setting a course that is clearly marked, relatively fun, and does not needlessly place life or limbs in jeopardy. By that standard, I’m satisfied with the afternoon’s results. No one got seriously lost, folks expressed enjoyment at seeing relatively new terrain, and everyone made it back on-home without injury. Woo Hoo! Let’s go to the pictures, shall we?

Our trail had a long 6.2K version, and a 5K for the lazy bastards.
The trail featured three ups, two of which were long-ass staircases. The jug I’m lugging up with me holds the powder used to mark the trail. We also use chalk to draw arrows on poles and tree trunks, and some shredded paper which holds up better in the rain. Thankfully, it didn’t rain.
Gravity sucks.
Here’s a great example of how solar energy and wind power can be utilized to help with household chores.
Me and my co-Hare, Pubic Head, discussing what the hell to do next.
Fuck it, I’ll go first…
We had originally planned to scale Black Rock mountain, but during our reconnaissance we deemed the path too treacherous. So instead we plotted a course around Black Rock.
The best way to mark trail in the tall thatch grass is with toilet paper. Luckily, Pubic Head remembered to bring some along.
On-Home was at Johan’s on Baloy Beach. The best way to get there from where we were was across the Matain river. So we negotiated a P200 fee ($4.) for this guy to ferry all the Hashers across via his banca boat.
Where the river meets the bay…

So, with the trail completed we refreshed ourselves at Johan’s then headed home. I had some lunch and a nap, then made my way out to Johansson’s for the start of the Hash.

Giving some last-minute encouragement to the Hashers prior to departure…
And they’re off!

I got a haircut (more on that in a minute) then made my way to Johan’s to await the arrival of the returning Hashers.

Who’s that making his way across the river?
Well, I’ll be damned, it’s Leech My Nuggets. He’s one of the runners but I was still amazed that he completed the entire trail in just under an hour. Well done! Most everyone made it back in an hour and a half or so. Some probably thought the trail was too easy but I think it was just about right. And as the Hare, that’s my call! 🙂
On-Home.
Signs of the times.
Baloy Beach.
Sunset on the bay…
The weather stone…
A Hare on ice.

It was a good Hash if I do say so myself.

As I mentioned above, I got a haircut yesterday. That’s something I do once a month or so. I normally just tell my barber to “clean it up” and he gives me a nice trim. Well, my regular barber wasn’t there and his replacement gave my head a good going over. A Filipino-style cut if you will.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve worn my hair this short.
And that tan line reveals that I’m not the brown-skinned native I purport to be.

Anyway, it’s all good. The haircut was P60 ($1.20) and I tipped my barber P40 for all his hard work. Hell, maybe I can even go two months between cuts this way.

Maybe my life isn’t paradise, but it’s close enough for me.

UPDATE: Well, I see I used the “a close shave” title for a post I wrote five years ago on the occasion of shaving off my beard.

The more things change, the more they remain the same…

Being a man again

A nothing burger kind of day around here. Yeah, yeah, what else is new? Accompanied Justin to the bus station in Olongapo City. So I did get to “enjoy” the excitement of a Jeepney ride. The timing was impeccable though. Justin purchased his ticket and walked right on to the bus waiting to transport him to Manila.

I don’t get downtown very often, so I thought I’d take advantage of my geography and visit the new mall in town. I got there about thirty minutes prior to opening time, so I strolled around the local area. Nothing really wrong with it, but let’s just say I’m glad to be living in Barretto!

Anyway, the mall features four floors of malliness, and it’s all new and clean and full of goods waiting to be consumed. Speaking of consumption, probably the thing I liked best was the restaurants, including a grilled meat Korean place and an all-you-can-eat steakhouse. The only thing I ate this morning though was a Krispy Kreme donut. It had been a while since I’ve indulged that particular sweet tooth and I couldn’t resist the opportunity. Otherwise, there was nothing at the new mall that would warrant a special trip out there. I like the mall on the old Navy base better and it’s closer as well.

I didn’t see any other foreigners at the mall this morning. It was a little disconcerting when an older Filipina came up to me and asked me if I had served in the military. I told her no and asked her why and she explained her retired military husband had died and his pension had stopped. I honestly don’t know anything about how that works and suggested she contact someone at the Veterans Administration or a local VFW chapter. She kinda just shrugged, thanked me, and went on her way. I just now looked it up and unless the retiree opts for a survivor benefit, the widow gets no money. I suspect that is what happened here.

I did come across a group of white people standing around inside the mall and I did my best to blend in with them.

None of them had anything to say to me, however.

I didn’t notice at the time of the photo but I see now that they aren’t exactly dressed appropriately for the Philippines. No idea why a store would even stock such items. Good luck to that retailer!

And there you have another installment in the adventure that is my life in the Philippines.

Hare today, gone tomorrow

I’m going to be the Hare for Monday’s Hash, so me and my co-Hare Pubic Head were out scouting around for a proper trail this morning. My Girlfriend’s A Lesbian also tagged along so he could see the science behind a successful Hash.

We had gone out a couple of weeks ago thinking we’d incorporate the Black Rock climb into our trail but found the conditions unsuitable. And then in an unfortunate coincidence, Leech My Nuggets did a trail in the same area, including Black Rock, the very next week. So, our challenge now included finding some new terrain for our Hashers to traverse. I think we accomplished that.

It will look something like this, although we finish in Baloy Beach. Ignore that distance, my mapping app messed up and added that straight section in the middle for some reason. We should be around 6K all-in.
One of the views from our trail.
All told, we will have three moderate climbs–two on stairs, and one on a hill path.
Getting water from the community well. Life can be hard here, but the people endure.
I hope we didn’t screw the pooch with this trail.

We’ll go back out on Monday morning to lay powder and chalk to mark the trail. It should be challenging without being overly difficult or dangerous. Probably the best thing going for it is that we will be taking paths that haven’t been recently Hashed. That always makes it a bit more interesting. And my attitude is that if the kennel doesn’t like the trail, fuck ’em!

Justin leaves in the morning for Manila. Hopefully the Korean embassy there will get his new work visa processed in the promised three days. He’ll then return to Barretto for a couple of days before departing for Korea next Saturday.

And so it goes.

Solitary man

Life in the Philippines is pretty much okay for me overall. The only real disappointment has been that I haven’t found love here. Of course, I haven’t been looking all that hard either. The few Filipinas I’ve met have proven to be disappointments, but I’ll take the blame there as well. Fact is, I’m just not willing to put my heart on the line which is a necessary prerequisite for engaging in a meaningful relationship. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that.

Anyway, over at Kevin Kim’s walking blog, he provided some great insights on overcoming inertia and gravity and laziness.


Dr. M. Scott Peck, in his pop-psych classic The Road Less Traveled, argued that the most basic human character flaw is laziness. If there can be said to be a “physics of the spirit,” then concepts like gravity and inertia would apply to spiritual matters. Laziness is a function of both spiritual gravity and spiritual inertia: gravity, insofar as the human tendency is to find the downward path of least resistance; and inertia, insofar as the human character resists switching tracks once it decides on a certain course of thought and action. Laziness, then, was the devil on one of my shoulders today. It’s the devil that always tells me I can sleep another 40 minutes when my phone’s alarm sounds at 5 a.m. It’s the devil that makes me think, now and then, about how nice it’d be just to take a bus back to Seoul and spend the rest of my break lazing around in my apartment with nobody else the wiser.

I can totally relate. Lately, it seems I have to push myself to avoid taking the easy trail rather than the mountain walk. I’ve always got some legitimate rationale for doing so, but I’m likely just making excuses for my inherent laziness. It occurs to me that this logic probably applies to my love life as well. In taking the easy and safe path I’m missing out on the breathtaking vistas that true love might show me. I don’t know, my fall back argument that there are worse things than being alone still resonates. I reckon I’ll just wait and see what happens next.

In the meantime, I’ve still got my walking to keep me company. And sometimes I’m not even walking alone. Here are some shots from Wednesday’s hike.

The Sausage Walkers.
On the trail.
Catching our breath.
Enjoying the view.
Try as we might, and we tried and tried, there was no way to avoid wading through this wet and muddy section of our chosen path. So, we embraced the wetness and continued on.

I’m happy to report that I did not short cut the trail this week, telling the devils on my shoulders to shut the fuck up. There were a couple of times during the walk that I had to overcome some gravity, but I got it done.

I’ve been hanging out a Cheap Charlies quite a bit of late. Both me and the nephew enjoy the views and it is hard to resist our favorite bargirls, Maya and Rosemarie. Speaking of views, here’s one from last night:

That cloud looked like a volcano to me for some reason. Maybe I was drunk.

And the latest news on the owner of Cheap Charlies doesn’t sound good to me:


1. He’s had a massive stroke. It’s left him totally paralyzed on the right side and aphasic (unable to speak).
2. He had a massive bleed which caused a subdural hematoma that required opening his skull to drain the blood.
3. He has additional medical problems; most of which are under control. These include hypertension, renal failure, possible diabetes and pulmonary congestion. The congestion is troubling as he has lots of sputum that must be suctioned regularly.
4. The prognosis is not promising. Much will depend on his resolve. Strokes often cause severe depression whereby the patient loses the will to work with their physical and speech therapists and don’t recover. The best thing that could happen is he becomes well enough to travel back to Scotland. Tim tells me his sister is a nurse practitioner who specializes in stroke recovery.
5. Tim’s handling all the bills and doing a great job stepping up to the plate. Graham’s bills are going to be significant. 

At least all the money I’m spending on beer is going to a good cause. It does put my meaningless problems in perspective. Get well soon!


I’ve had it to here
Bein’ where love’s a small word
Part-time thing, paper ring
I know it’s been done
Havin’ one girl who’ll love me
Right or wrong, weak or strong

Don’t know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl who’ll stay
And won’t play games behind me
I’ll be what I am
A solitary man, solitary man

What’s in a name?

A commenter asked about the process of nephew Justin acquiring his Hash name. Here’s how it went down:

First, the unnamed is called into the circle and told to take a seat on the ice.

That would be him.

As Justin’s sponsor, I gave a brief introduction. Born in Oklahoma, raised in Nebraska, college in D.C., then following me to Korea some ten-odd years ago. Oh, I also shared the fact that all of Justin’s relationships with Korean women over the years have been unsuccessful. So, he tried dating a Filipina in Korea, and yep, that failed too. Finally, I recounted how we were at a bar the other night and I introduced our waitress to “my lonely nephew”. She responded “I’m a lesbian.”

The first stage of the naming is to go around the circle and have Hasher’s ask Justin questions. After considering the answers, we go around the circle and Hasher’s suggest potential names. Mine was “Girls don’t like me”.

Once the suggested names are gathered, we do a voice vote and pare the list of possibilities down to the top three. Then we voice vote again. In the end, the consensus of the Subic Bay Hash Houe Harriers was that henceforth Justin will be known by the Hash name of “My Girlfriend’s A Lesbian”.

I’ve been having some fun with that these past couple of days. Like in a bar with strangers around I’ll quietly ask “what’s your Hash name again?.” I love the reactions on the faces when his response is overheard.

Anyway, that’s the story.