Or perhaps a reprise. We shall see.

Continuing on with the soap opera (or is it K-drama?) that is my love life, I *think* Pearl and I have reconciled. I had continued some sporadic message exchanges with Pearl throughout the afternoon and early evening. I was riding an emotional roller coaster, moving from “I’m better off without her” to “she’s worth fighting for” depending on the tone of her responses. In between my texting sessions, I attended a birthday gathering for the owner of Alley Cats, contributing a batch of my famous brownies to the potluck table.

After the party, I moved on to It Doesn’t Matter, where I once again enjoyed the banter and repartee with Roan. At that point, I was thinking that my old bar life was going to be my new future and I was reconciling myself to the fact that while empty, the lifestyle was relatively painless. Meanwhile, the messages with Pearl had devolved to the “I guess this is goodbye, then” stage. I sent her this as my parting words:

Given the tone of our preceding conversation, I was surprised when I received this response from her:

I miss you and I want you here with me

Now you tell me! I said goodnight to Roan and walked up the highway to visit Pearl at her place. We had the conversation we should have had from the beginning. I talked about her jealousy issues and noted the hypocrisy of her own actions, pointing out that had I taken a girl to see a live band in a bar, she would have been outraged. Perhaps even justifiably so. Certainly, my getting an innocuous message I didn’t even answer pales in comparison. She didn’t deny that but pointed out I had hurt her when I walked away from her earlier, and that she only stayed at the bar with [that guy] for a few minutes. Whatever. I told her I’m not jealous of [that guy] and if he is better for you than I am, she should go for it. Don’t settle for less than the best.

We talked about the triggering event that led us to this point–from her perspective me walking away, and from mine her not responding to multiple messages I’d sent. It really all came down to a misunderstanding and miscommunication. She explained that she had been very busy all that afternoon and for the most part didn’t even have access to her phone. I acknowledged that I was in a grumpy mood when I walked away to go to dinner. I wanted her to join me but didn’t explicitly ask her to do so leading her to misinterpret what my leaving meant. Yeah, ain’t love grand?

Anyway, we resolved to work harder on the issues this incident brought out–I’ll talk rather than walk and she will try and understand that women I know from the bars are no threat to her or our relationship. We’ll see how that works out.

I received some amazing comments on my previous post regarding this incident, and I wanted to share some of those insights and respond to some of the suggestions.

BW says: She should know u better first so she can trust u…keep trying to let her know that u never serious with anybody else

Yeah, we had a long talk last night about my interactions with bargirls. I explained that the girls work for drink commissions and I buy drinks sometimes to help them out. That doesn’t mean I want a relationship with them. I asked if she wanted to read all my messages or for me to delete all my female contacts, she said of course not and acknowledged that she has guy friends too. Hopefully, once she knows I have no intention of straying she’ll come to feel more trusting.

From Kevin Kim:

It’s unfair to expect Pearl to be the one Filipina who breaks the mold and doesn’t act Filipina. On the other hand, based on your account of the day in question, she does strike me as being oversensitive.

Yeah, my hatred of jealousy may be a little irrational too. Pearl is atypical in many ways, but yes, her thinking in terms of jealousy is true to form for Filipinas. We did have a rational discussion about trust issues so hopefully, that’s progress.

Ask your happily married friends whether their Pinay wives started off as insanely jealous people back when they were merely dating, and ask further what they, the guys, did to face down that jealousy. 

Well, I haven’t asked yet, but the guys I know in LTRs with Filipinas still have to deal with the jealousy issues. In fact, it may even worsen over time. Now, I can’t say that some of these folks haven’t done things that may warrant jealousy from their significant others…

If I thought there was hope in talking this out and figuring out how to deal with the problem together, I’d humbly advise talking, but Filipinas, especially the young ones, seem to think it’s better just to amputate and move on. Dramatic minds, dramatic solutions.

We’ll see. We did have a good face-to-face conversation on these issues last night and again this morning on messenger. Whether it will result in behavioral change remains to be seen. But I was quite taken aback when she “set me free” over what I considered a minor incident.

This goes back to the idea of looking for an older woman in a young body: ain’t gonna happen. An older woman with experience would probably be willing to act maturely—to hear you out and accept your declarations of loyalty. Young girls, not so much. But young girls are what you seem to want, so in a sense, you’ve trapped yourself in your own hell (a line I’ve said before).

But age is just a number! Actually, meeting Pearl was a matter of circumstance, not design. I actually prefer women in their mid-30s or so. But Pearl is 28 and mature for her years in ways that most Filipinas are not. For one, she lived in Japan for a number of years and I think that experience broadened her horizons. She is also demonstrating maturity in the manner she manages her business which appears to be very successful thus far. Yeah, young women are attractive, but I’m attracted to intellect as well. Getting both in one package would be a big win!

That info about her and [that guy] radically changes my evaluation of your relationship with Pearl. If she feels she can go off the reservation that easily, then she was never deeply committed to begin with. She’s just another young doe relying on her beauty to seek male attention, and to gain validation thereby. Female vanity. And again, the mark of someone young and superficial.

We talked about the [that guy] affair as well. It’s obvious that he is in full courtship mode but until that night she seemed resistant to his advances. According to her, it was a one-off, ten-minute excursion to the bar across the street from her place. I’m going to accept her claim that she has no interest in [that guy] until I have more evidence to the contrary. And as I said above, I told her if she wants to go that route she can go with my blessing. Isn’t that what love is all about–wanting your partner to find happiness?

More fundamentally, what is it that you want? To me, it seems you haven’t resolved that question, and it pops up again and again. If all you want is sex, then apparently, there’s plenty to be found, and you have no trouble finding it. If what you’re looking for is paid companionship, “care” instead of real care, then there’s plenty of that, too. But if what you really want is to find a life-companion who will be there for you when the going gets tough… I don’t know, but I think you may be in the wrong country. You need someone who deeply understands the American character—someone who knows, for example, that if you’re a little flirty with the other bar girls, this doesn’t mean your fundamental commitment to your woman has been compromised. But you’ve closed off the possibility of finding yourself a decent American woman, so again, we’re back to the idea of the self-made hell. Have you ever asked yourself why you’ve boxed yourself in this way?

HaHa! I was married to three different American women and got the same result–divorce. And yeah, I acknowledge that I was the common denominator in each of those relationships. So yes, that is the fundamental question–what is it that I want? I have this fantasy of loving someone and being loved and cared for in return. The reality of that kind of relationship is that it requires a lot of work to maintain and sustain over time. When I was forced to consider my post-Pearl options yesterday, retreating to my previous lifestyle seemed the most appealing. Yeah, it is shallow and hollow, but also pain-free. There is something to be said for that. But in the end, I decided Pearl was worth another go. I’m going to try harder to be a little less selfish and more understanding. If it still doesn’t work, at least I know I gave it my best shot.

From Brian:

I am going to look at it from her side. What is her “role models” in a foreigner/PI girl relationship? In many cases, it is probably a foreigner who comes to town, woos and dines a young lady, professes their love, and most/many times leaves them high and dry. Either by going back to their home country, vowing to return (but never doing so), or getting them pregnant (yeah, I know, it takes two to tango, but…) and then never having anything to do with them or their child again.

Well, the story of Pearl as I understand it was that she married a Japanese guy when she was 18 and moved to Japan. He was her first boyfriend. That didn’t work out for her and since that time she has had two foreigner boyfriends, both long-distance relationships. She moved back to the Philippines a couple of years ago. So, she doesn’t really have any experience with a full-time expat like me, although I’m not sure what difference that might make. As you note, it does seem like she has some preconceived notions of what guys like me are supposedly all about.

I am not sure it is a jealously thing but more of an insecurity issue. Though I suppose it can be said that they are one and the same.

Yeah, to me, jealousy is just a manifestation of emotional insecurity. The other side of the jealousy coin is fearing losing your meal ticket. in Pearl’s case, she is at least more financially secure and self-sufficient than most of the Filipinas I’ve met. Pearl has her own business (with a second location opening soon) and mama drives a new car and lives in a Subic subdivision. So, I think her motivations are pure at least.

In any relationship, it takes work, and this one can work itself out. But you HAVE TO stop looking at it from strictly a Western perspective. Easy to say and hard to do. John, I know you have a lot of multicultural experience. I do also, but I also find myself falling into the abyss of expecting relationship to play out as i think it should in the west. Cant do that.

Yeah, that’s a fair point and one I’ll have to be more cognizant of moving forward.

Also wanted to add that since you are have been in Barretto a few years and are fairly well known in town, I am guessing that Pearl made some enquiries about you.

Yeah, it is definitely a small town with small-town gossip. Pearl already mentioned that the husband of one of her girlfriends talked about seeing me hanging out in Finger Monkey. I don’t misbehave (much) in the bars, but I can imagine a scenario where two girls are giving me a back rub and how that may play out if someone told Pearl they saw girls touching me in the bar.

From Dave: [that guy] does sound like a Juan but do not not get discouraged – or even more cunt-struck – in response. Show Pearl (and her mother who I suspect is the one really pulling Pearl’s strings) just who is the boss and get a take away from Wet Spot. Still ₱5000 only L/T (with only half going to Daddy)

HaHa–well the crew at Wet Spot is amongst the best in town. Still, I’ll save that idea for the when/if this relationship effort fails. Funny side note, I’ve been wondering who mom would pick between me and [that guy]. She’s hard to read…

Alright, this post has gone on way too long and I hope it doesn’t come back and bite me in the ass. (No, I still haven’t told Pearl about the blog–yet.) Thanks again for your support and helpful comments. Let’s find out what happens next in this story.

Hash Monday today, so hopefully a respite from the drama.

I made it over to Pearl’s place at around 1:30 for our planned excursion out to Baloy Beach. When I arrived there were a couple of folks I knew sitting in the outside area so I joined in with the chit chat. Next thing I know, a plate of wings arrived courtesy of the owner who apparently wants to keep me fat well-fed.

Everyone I’ve talked to is impressed by the quality of the offerings and surprised at how inexpensive the food is. I’ve asked Pearl if they can make a profit at those prices and she assures me she has done the math. Sounds like a win-win.

Of course, I couldn’t eat those wings without a beer to wash them down. And then one thing led to another. And another. A couple of Hash buddies came by so it seemed rude to just up and leave. So, it was around 4:30 before Pearl and I finally headed to the beach. I asked if she wanted to walk but she preferred taking a trike. I didn’t argue the point. We did take a brief stroll down the beach before arriving at Laharnz’ place for more liquid refreshment.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a guy I know there I hadn’t seen for a while. John and I had a very pleasant chat. We talked some about Derek, a mutual Hash friend, who passed away earlier this year. Derek’s girlfriend returned to her province for a visit and asked John to keep Derek’s ashes while she was gone. John agreed to do so temporarily, but he has some doubts about whether the girlfriend will ever return. If she doesn’t, he said he’d likely just dump the ashes in the bay. I suggested an alternative–have a special Hash in Derek’s honor, then spread the ashes on the Hash trail. That’s how I’d like to be disposed of. John liked the idea and we both acknowledged that Derek isn’t going to care one way or the other. After death ceremonies and rituals are all about the people left behind.

Anyway, it was a nice evening on the beach but it was time to start thinking about dinner. I suggested we head up the beach to Da’ Kudos and have those grilled pork chops I love so much. Pearl enjoyed them too.

After dinner, we went back to her food place, but I was just about out of gas. So, I headed home and Pearl joined me there later. She’s a pretty amazing woman in many ways. Last night I was experiencing some chest congestion and she went into full nurse mode. It was really nice to have someone lovingly taking care of me. I’ve missed that.

This morning we got up and walked the dog, I made us some breakfast, and then she joined me on the Friday group hike. I could get used to this.

Time to get ready and head out for some Friday night darts. I’ll be back with a full report tomorrow.

Just a quick post on my busy Wednesday. Finished the morning hike and now I’m getting ready for dart league this afternoon.

Yesterday, I took Pearl out to lunch. One of the things we have in common is our love of Seoul. The Korean restaurant on the old Navy base, I mean.

It was a nice lunch date and our first time actually dining out together. I expect it won’t be the last. Pearl is a busy young woman though, so the taxi dropped her at her restaurant and I continued on home to nap, shower, and get ready for darts.

My darts were all over the place. Literally. I had moments of brilliance, including a ton-80 and a 5-bull shot, followed by an inability to hit anything I was aiming at. It was not a good night darts-wise. Still, somehow I managed to claw my way back into the money round. And then I quit. I was scheduled to play Billy to determine who would face Nancy in the finals. The loser of our match would finish third. I didn’t care. To continue would mean playing a couple more intense matches and I just didn’t feel like it. I told Billy “I concede”. I guess in some ways that might be considered unsportsmanlike, but I play for fun, not money. I got a chuckle when Billy and Nancy did my thing by declaring a tie and splitting first and second place money.

After darts, I dropped into Pearl’s place to spend a little more time with her.

As days go, it was a good one.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…

I can’t think of a better way to start the day than to wake up next to a sweet young brown-skinned woman. And that’s how I started mine! Then things took a turn for the better. Pearl wanted to know if I was going to do the Friday group hike and I asked if she had something else in mind. She did, suggesting we do our hike together in San Antonio, about 35K away in Zambales province.

Pearl said she knew of a resort there with hiking trails and she had always wanted to see what it was like. Sounds like a plan! We walked the dogs together, then headed down to the highway. Pearl didn’t have her hiking shoes with her, so she called her mother and asked her to meet us at Waltermart in Subic town. We caught a Jeepney and were on our way. Once she had her shoes we went back out on the highway to catch a bus. The way it works here is you stand on the side of the road and when you see a bus coming you wave it down. Provided there are seats available, the driver will pull over and pick you up. We didn’t have to wait long before we were aboard a nice air-conditioned bus destined to pass through San Antonio. Fare was 40 pesos each.

Because of traffic and frequent stops to pick up passengers, it took us about 45 minutes to reach our destination city. I’d been here a couple of times but was clueless as to where to go next. Luckily, Pearl knew her way around a lot better than me. We hailed a trike and Pearl asked the driver to take us to a restaurant she liked for breakfast. It seemed like we did a lot of driving around on backstreets before pulling up to a building with a “closed” sign on the door. Oh well. Pearl said we could eat at the resort, so off we went. It was a pretty good way out of town, but then things started looking oddly familiar. We were on the road to Pundaquit, an area where we had done a couple of Hashes back in the good ol’ days. We crossed the rickety old river bridge I remembered and shortly thereafter arrived at the Stonehill Farm and Resort.

Once we were back down and had exited the resort, we stood on the road and waited for an empty trike to pass by. I decided to start walking towards Pundaquit (poon-dock-it) to get my bearings straight. Soon enough I saw the road to Monty’s resort where we had done the Hash a couple of years ago. I knew there was a bar/restaurant I liked not much further away and then a trike arrived so we had him take us. “To the Gas Station”, I announced, and off we went. We kept going and going and I’m thinking, damn, I don’t remember it being this far. Finally, the trike pulled over and stopped at an abandoned gas station. I said, “no, no. This is not where I meant. The Gas Station is a restaurant!” He shook his head and shrugged. “Never mind, just take us back to San Antonio.” As we were driving I remembered a key detail–it’s not called The Gas Station. The name is Car Wash. Once I said those magic words the driver immediately knew what I was talking about.

After lunch, we caught a trike back to San Antonio and a bus pulled up almost immediately after we arrived. This one wasn’t airconditioned but it was breezy and comfortable. I got home in plenty of time to shower up and head out to the darts tourney.

Today has not been nearly as nice. But I’ll worry about that tomorrow.

Did the hike today and it felt good to be back on trail again. The back was still a little sore this morning, but not painfully so. I’ll share some photos of the adventure tomorrow, right now I’m pressed for time because I have to shower up and head out for my dart league match. I hate feeling rushed on Wednesdays. If I play next season it will have to be as an extra player. With only three on the team, I have to arrive no later than 2 p.m. or we forfeit.

Speaking of darts, I played the tourney last night and failed to reach the money round. Can’t blame my back for that. I actually threw pretty much my normal game, my opponents just threw better. No defense against that.

After darts, I visited Pearl’s food stand and had a couple of beers there. Pearl wasn’t there when I arrived, but her mother came out and we had a nice chat. Like any good mother, she doesn’t want to see her daughter hurt or mistreated. I assured her of my good intentions. It did occur to me that this might be the first time I’ve met the mother of a woman I’m dating and I’m older than the mother. Who’d a thunk it? Pearl arrived shortly thereafter.

Finished my lunch, now to get ready to go. Thanks for giving me your time. Let’s do it again tomorrow!

I don’t know what the hell is going on but I’ve just about had enough, thank you very much. Yesterday morning my right foot big toe was hurting like hell, enough to wake me up early and make walking the dog unpleasant. Closer inspection revealed that the bitchy pedicurist had cut the nail way too short and an ingrown toenail was the result. I silently prayed for the Lord to make me forget about the toe pain and my prayers were answered. Later that morning when I got up out of my chair it felt like someone had stabbed me in the back. No idea where that came from, I didn’t slip, trip, or fall. I took some aspirin and went about my day, albeit uncomfortably. My back feels fine when I am sitting or laying down. Getting into those positions, or anything that involves bending over is borderline excruciating. It’s a dull pain when I stand or walk, which is at least bearable.

So, as you saw in the previous post, I did my bar review at Voodoo. Then I tried to dull the pain with more beers at It Doesn’t Matter. That didn’t work, so I figured a good back rub from my favorite at Cheap Charlies might do the trick. It did feel great and seemed to help. Until I walked down the stairs to head home. I popped into her place on the way to say goodnight and wound up confirming a “date” to go hiking this morning and have lunch afterward.

It was a painful night getting up to pee as often as I do. When I rolled out of bed at 0400 I was glad to see Buddy at least was sleeping peacefully.

After the morning dog walk, I knew I was in no condition to do the planned hike.

When I got back home I sent her a message saying I couldn’t walk but lunch was still a go if she were up for it. She was. So, I plopped some pork chops and cream of mushroom soup in the crockpot and awaited her arrival.

She is a real sweetheart. She brought along some remedies for my aching back.

I had everything for lunch just about ready to go when she arrived. Put it on a plate and served it up.

After we ate, we retreated to the bedroom where Pearl used her magic hands to rub my back and spread the medications around. One of them, I think it was the menthol, almost felt like it was burning me, but in a weird way, it also felt good. After the treatment, we cuddled and kissed and decided to take our relationship to the next level. Yep, here I go again. Wish me luck!

Later in the afternoon, She needed to return to her place of business. I walked with her there and felt less pain than I had on my morning walk. I also brought along some of the brownies I had made for dessert to share with her workers. Had a couple of beers while I was there and enjoyed spending a little more time with her.

I know better than to speculate too much on what lies ahead. Que sera, sera, and all that. I’ll be happy if my back has improved enough to do the Hash run tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

Well, I'm a-running down the road
Tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on my mind
Four that wanna own me
Two that wanna stone me
One says she's a friend of mine

Another day in the life yesterday, with a couple of unusual twists and turns. Here’s the recap:

I visited my dentist, Dr. Barrera, to see if he could re-insert my crown. We both had our doubts, but he did his magic with the glue and the crown is back where it belongs. For now anyway. He said it is likely that I’ll need to construct a new crown if and when this one falls off again. He also told me I’m long overdue for a cleaning. He might be right, I don’t think I’ve had one since moving here.

After the dentist, I crossed the highway in search of a salon that could give me a foot spa and pedicure. Found one, and was serviced by an obese woman who was as unfriendly as she was fat. Oh well, I got what I needed even if it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

My plan was to do a bar review of Voodoo, but since it was only 4:30 I figured I’d kill a little time right around the corner at It Doesn’t Matter. While enjoying my first beer of the day in the friendly company of Roan, I checked my phone and saw a post indicating it was P’s birthday. She’s the cutie I met on a Wednesday walk and wrote about most recently here. The birthday was being celebrated at a food stand she recently opened (yeah, the irony, I know) up the highway a kilometer or so. It seemed weird to go without a gift, so I finished my beer and crossed the street to the 7/11. I didn’t want to buy cheap convenience store chocolate but I recalled the ease of gift-giving in my Korean days.

So, I put a 1000 peso note inside, wrote a birthday greeting on outside, and headed for her as yet unnamed food place. She seemed genuinely happy to see me and was touched by mygift. She lived in Japan for a number of years and I asked if the gift envelope was also done there. She said “sometimes”. Anyway, it is the thought that counts.

I stayed long enough for a couple of beers and some chicken fingers. We talked some and she pretty much told me straight out that she was interested in giving me a try. Wow, wasn’t really expecting that. I went as far as inviting her to hike with me on Sunday and she agreed, provided I cook for her afterward. So, I think we have a deal. She also surprised me by showing up for today’s group hike even though she had planned to work. It seems she is serious. I might be too because those old feelings of fear are returning. Stay tuned.

So, it seems that the Gods might be calling my bluff about wanting a woman to love. Do I have seven on my mind yet? Let’s see:

1. P
2. Joy (the 23-year-old)
3. Reggie (the 43-year-old)
4. Maricel (a girl I haven’t met yet, but am supposed to meet for lunch tomorrow)
5. Roan (the sweet IDM waitress)
6. MJ (my massuse)
7. Alma (the Muslim girl from Cheap Charlies)

Well, if I’m fit to be tied to one gal, P feels like the best fit so far. I’m just going to take things slowly and try to get it right this time. Whatever right is.

Well, I'm running down the road
Trying to loosen my load
Got a world of trouble on my mind
Lookin' for a lover
Who won't blow my cover
She's so hard to find

Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy
Come on, baby
Don't say "Maybe"
I gotta know
If your sweet love
Is gonna save me

Yep, I lost my crown. Technically it’s not lost, I have it in a plastic baggie. I’ll see if my dentist can reinsert it in my tooth, but I’m not hopeful. Probably will have to have the tooth pulled and create yet another hole in my head. Ah, the joys of aging.

Speaking of aging, my Palm Tree post this morning was the four thousandth time I’ve written something on the blog since LTG was created nearly seventeen years ago. How many of those were worth reading is an entirely different matter.

I had a little trouble on Quora this morning. Several months ago I answered the question: “Am I lucky living in the Philippines?” I gave a positive response because I do feel lucky to live here. It’s gotten a lot more views than it warrants, but over 1,600 people have given it an upvote. I’ve also gotten quite a few comments, the vast majority being positive. Anyway, yesterday some dickhead took me to task for being a privileged white American living among the poverty-stricken Filipino people who are still suffering from past American and Spanish colonialism. On and on about how oppressed the people here are and implying I’m contributing to their misery. He then took me to task for asking and answering my own question. Well, that’s not how Quora works–someone else asked and I answered. Anyway, this is how I responded:

Sorry for you and your comprehension issues. I don’t think there are any meds for that. You see, I didn’t POSE the question, I answered it. That’s the way Quora works. Good luck to you, though. I know you must be a happy guy—ignorance being bliss and all.

Well, I was very surprised when Quora deleted my comment as a violation of their rules. It was mild compared to what the loser had said about me. I appealed the ruling and before long I got a message that my comment had been restored. Then an hour later, it was deleted again. I told them to make up their mind one way or the other. Then the dickhead got the final word by leaving this gem:

Glad you deleted your comment. Your insults aren’t clever nor offensive just shows what you’re insecure about. You use a photo from maybe 50 years ago and spend most your time online because you don’t get enough attention in the real world. You moved to the Philippines because you were poor in America even with your government pension. You are just like every other loser from America that comes here because the 100s of years of colonization has brainwashed Filipinos into thinking anyone white is special, but you are not. Go back to America and you will find out in 1 day you are not special. You are a loser. You need to know at least that all the Filipinos that are nice to you, only care about your money nothing else. They gossip and talk shit on you behind your back. If you knew anything about the culture you would know that.

Maybe he’s right. Racist pricks sometimes are. Just like a stopped clock. Oh well, that’s the internet for you.

Moving on to happier topics about my life here in the Philippines. Like beer drinking for example. After I left Palm Tree last night I went next door to Mango’s. Took up my regular seat on the patio, started downing San Miguel Zero beers, and watched people on the crowded beach enjoying the late Sunday afternoon.

Once the sun went down there was nothing left to see so I decided to move on. Wasn’t sure where to go next, but once I was out on the highway I decided It Doesn’t Matter. So that’s where I went. Had a nice chat with owner Cliff and of course Roan joined me so she could enjoy my wit and witticisms the commissions from the lady drinks I purchased. She asked me what I planned to do for dinner and I said I hadn’t made up my mind yet. She pointed at the Daily Special sign featuring chicken parmigiana with pasta for only 280 pesos. I told Roan I wasn’t big on pasta, then I saw the hunger in her eyes and asked if she wanted to share one with me. I got an “I thought you’d never ask” look and the order was placed.

Home early and up early again this morning. Walked the dogs, then walked myself to Baloy Beach.

Hash is coming up, but I did the trail work yesterday. Will help send the group on their way from VFW and then will meet them later at the Blue Butterfly On-Home.

On-On!

If it is really true that it is better to give than receive, I had a pretty good day yesterday.

I started with breakfast at Arizona. On the way, I successfully withdrew some pesos from the only BPI ATM in town. Turns out I was going to need them.

It has been quite some time since I’ve had a meal at Arizona. It’s a long way from home with lots of other options in between. I ordered a sausage and egg muffin. My date ordered lasagna. It took 45 minutes and we were the only customers. I asked my waitress what was going on and she just shrugged and said something about “chef issues”. Oh well. As I said, I have many other dining options for the future.

She was the reason I was there. Turns out yesterday was her brother’s birthday and she needed money for a cake. Since she lives nearby Arizona, I suggested we meet there. She was late, but not as late as the food. After we ate, I gave her 1000 pesos and wished her well.

While waiting for breakfast I received a frantic message from Maris at the Kitchenette. First time I’ve heard from her in a couple of weeks. She was in distress because the canteen was out of food stock and she had no money to buy more. She says she wants to stay open until she can find someone to take it over. I told her I’d stop by later after breakfast. Maris was alone when I arrived. I told her if she sold out of food and had no money to replace it, her prices were obviously too low. She started crying. I gave her 10,000 pesos and left. I don’t need that drama in my life. I gave her the opportunity, what she does with it is up to her. So far, I’m not impressed.

There was some good news when I got back home. My friend Bhel was finally being released from the hospital after an eight-day confinement. Seven of which were apparently unnecessary–she had the surgery the previous day.

Of course, she couldn’t actually leave the hospital until her account had been settled. That’s where I come in. Now, when I had first volunteered to provide the financial means for this surgery (and I did volunteer, she didn’t ask) it was supposed to be an in and out procedure, with at most an overnight stay. I committed to 35,000 pesos ($700.) provided I could pay via credit card. Things changed, and instead of the private hospital and doctor, she wound up at Gordon hospital in Olongapo, which is known as “the place where people go to die” in the expat community. Her stories of seeming incompetence and uncaring attitudes from the staff were frankly shocking. I figured they were unnecessarily extending her stay just to run up the bill. I was almost afraid to ask how much she needed to buy her freedom. She sent me the bill and I was pleasantly surprised to discover you can be tortured for eight days for just under 30,000 pesos. Since Gordon doesn’t accept credit card payments, I wired the money via Western Union, and her freedom was secured. I had given 10,000 when she checked in for meds and tests, so all in was close to what I had originally agreed to fund. Here’s to wishing Bhel a full and complete recovery.

Jane needed parts for her motor scooter and food for her kids and pleaded with me to let her give me a massage. I guess I was in a giving mood, so she came over and rubbed me the right way. She’s actually a nice woman and doesn’t go overboard with her requests, so I don’t really mind helping her out occasionally. She left my house with 3500 pesos and a bag of cookies.

I had planned to do another bar review yesterday evening, but when I walked by, that bar was under renovation. I’ll try again tomorrow. Since I was in the neighborhood, I popped into It Doesn’t Matter. Had some beers and bought some lady drink beers (3 at 200 pesos each) for my bar sweetheart, Roan. I also gave her a 100 peso tip when I left.

It was still a little before 8:00 and I wasn’t sure what to do next. I hadn’t had dinner but I also wasn’t feeling hungry. I thought about just taking a trike back home, but then decided I’d have another beer at Barcelona. It’s been ages since I’ve been there. I was surprised when the door girl greeted me by name. Remembering names seems to be a special talent for Filipinas in the service industry. It always makes me feel welcome even though I have no clue who it is that is speaking to me. I had a couple more beers and for some reason, I was in a shitty mood at the end of my long day. I even felt compelled to take a selfie to document those feelings:

Oh well, today’s another day. Led the group hike this morning and I’ll post about that tomorrow. I’ve got the Friday darts tourney at Alley Cats on tap a bit later. Hmm, might need to hit that ATM again too.

I’m not sure this is correct, but I guess it illustrates how a comma can make a difference.

And that’s all he wrote.

At this stage of my life, the last thing I want to be doing is dealing with drama queens. That’s one of the factors that makes it hard for me to get involved in a serious romantic relationship. I don’t know why, but Filipinas seem especially adept at stirring up shit by trash-talking about their fellow Filipinas. This seems to be especially blatant among the Hash gals. Why they feel the need to tear each other down is difficult to understand but it happens so frequently here there is even a name for it: crab mentality.

In other news, Maris posted on Facebook that she is looking for someone to take over the Kitchenette. Says she is “tired”. Well, it is her business and she can do what she wants, but I can’t help but feel disappointed by this decision. For me, it is yet another example of how difficult it is to help lift someone up and provide an opportunity for a better life. She said having a canteen was her dream, I assumed she’d be willing to work for it. Anyway, I made the investment in her, and once again my judgment has proven to be faulty. At least I tried.

I got drafted to be a substitute on my old dart league team this afternoon. One of the players (yep, a Filipina) just up and left without warning or notice. I really don’t like playing in the league, primarily because of the 2:00 start time, but my old mates were desperate so here I go.

What else? Well, I guess the FWB program has run its course. I was down to one member anyway. She has a young daughter that got a dog bite and needed the rabies vaccination. Of course, she didn’t have money and requested my help. I was glad to do so and asked for nothing in return. It felt good to be back in that mode. I’m going to return to doing selective charity and saying “no” when I don’t feel the circumstances warrant my intervention. I’ll keep my personal wants and needs separate. Another lesson learned.

I had lunch in Seoul yesterday. The Seoul restaurant on the old Navy base, I mean. Took the 23-year-old I’ve been goofing with and her sister along to celebrate the sister’s birthday. Had dakgangjeong, samgyeopsal, bulgogi, and some sides like kimchi, spicy cucumber, and macaroni salad. It was all excellent. I’m kind of losing interest in the young gal though. Just not feeling it, so why waste my time?

Well, I reckon that’s enough drama for one post, don’t you?

Things just didn’t click with the older gal I met for lunch. That’s the way it goes sometimes. She looked better in her pictures than she did in person (at least with clothes on) but the reality for me was that I was just not feeling any kind of connection with her. I don’t expect there will be a second date. She’s still messaging me though so maybe I didn’t adequately convey my lack of interest.

I’ll be Hashing with the Angeles City group today. The On-Home is an old hotel across the street from Sit-n-Bull called the Bella Monte. I’d never even been inside there before, but yesterday I helped the Beer Meister move a dozen of cases of beer, five ice chests, and assorted soft drinks, from my house to the hotel’s poolside. It looks like it will be a good venue.

Speaking of Sit-n-Bull, it was just announced they are moving up the street to the vacant space the Lollipop bar used to occupy. Apparently, the landlord at the current location thought it would be a good idea to raise the rent during these troubled times. That didn’t work out for him. Good luck to Ron and his crew in their new home.

Tomorrow is the 28th Anniversary of the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers and I’ve got the shirt to prove it:

That’s it from here this morning. Don’t miss my review of Dynamite Dick’s bar in the preceding post. Back with more tomorrow.

Well, I woke up this morning and I took that as a good sign that I remain among the living. What are the odds? I tease, of course, but I almost had to force myself to go out last night, and even after I left the house, I considered turning around and going back home. That’s a clear indication of just how crappy I felt. But I persevered in my endeavor and 2,512 steps later I plopped myself down at It Doesn’t Matter. The outside area of the bar was pretty packed and my usual stool at the far end of the counter was taken. So, I found myself seated at the “owner’s table” with one of the two proprietors, Bob, and a couple of guys I know from the Hash. That changed things up a bit and instead of sitting one-on-one with Roan I found myself engaging in some nice back and forth with my table mates.

When I told one of the guys about my recent bout with whatever this is, he told me he had scored some ivermectin and had been taking it for an illness similar to mine. To be clear, not COVID, he’s been vaxxed and I’ve been infected, but what the hell, if it kills worms in horses it ought to destroy what been messin’ with me this past few days. Yeah, yeah, I know that is not what this particular drug is intended for, but I began using drugs for unapproved purposes before a lot you readers were even born. I tried about everything going during my wild teen years (never used anything requiring a needle though) and lived to tell about it. So, I didn’t hesitate to pop the two tablets I was supplied figuring it couldn’t hurt and might make things better. And as I mentioned above, I woke up this morning, so there’s that.

Did the invermectin help? I can’t really say. I’m better today than yesterday, but that might have been the case regardless of what I ingested. The important thing is I’m back to being close to normal. Even had the will power to go out and do a 6K hike this morning.

This afternoon one of my FWB’s came over to the house and gave me a relaxing and satisfying massage. So I’m feeling pretty dandy at the moment.

On my walk this morning I spotted another potential way I might lose my life here:

My carport here at the house has become quite busy:

Well, it is fixin’ to be Saturday night, and those new meds have me in the mood to do some horsin’ around. *ahem* I’m thinking I’ll begin my night with documenting the first bar in my Bars of Barretto feature. Stay tuned.

Well, damn. Yesterday felt like progress, especially in losing the cough. But it’s back today and I feel like shit again. Didn’t even attempt the Friday walking group hike. Oh well. Little by little I suppose.

One thing that is rather strange and I can only assume is illness-related, is that I haven’t vaped since Monday. It wasn’t like I said to myself, “don’t put anything into your lungs until you feel better”, it was just a matter of having no craving or desire to do my vaping routine. I’ve been a big-time vaper for seven or eight years now and before that a rather heavy smoker. That I have no compunction compulsion to inhale nicotine seems bizarre. Anyway, at this point, I’m going to go with the flow and try to end my habit. Vaping isn’t anywhere near as bad as smoking, but not as healthy as nothing. Plus maintaining the equipment is a pain in the ass. We’ll see how that goes.

The morning wasn’t a complete waste at least. I came across a crockpot recipe that I decided to give a try.

Last night I changed things up a bit in my bar-hopping routine. I started out at Queen Victoria for a couple, then crossed the street and visited Outback. It’s been quite some time since I’ve been to either one and frankly, last night was a pretty good reminder of why. I did get to thinking about doing a series of posts highlighting the Bars of Barretto. Years ago I reviewed the Dart Bars of Itaewon in a series of posts. This would be something similar–one man’s perspective on the drinking venues here in my little town. Does anyone like that idea?

After I left Outback, I went to my regular hangout at Mango’s. My usual staff servers were off, and the gal that was there left me sitting with an empty beer bottle for a period of time that exceed my tolerance level. So, instead of dining and drinking, it was one and out for me. I moved up the street and ate at Maris’ Kitchenette instead. Had chicken wings and fries, which hit the spot. The owner and two of her friends were busy drinking Filipino-style–shots of Emperador rum and Coke. I didn’t think it was a good look, but that’s not my business. The two workers were sober and diligent at least.

My final stop on the night was Wet Spot, one of my favorite bars that for some reason I just don’t visit that often these days. Bought a couple of drinks for the food waitress and she’s now my newest Facebook friend. The owner came in and we had a very nice chat. I was happy to hear that his bars are at least in a break-even status and like everyone, he’s looking forward to better days to come when the tourists return. In the meantime, he’s employing a bunch of friendly gals (must have been 25 or more in there) that would otherwise be without work. Good on you, Dave!

So, in one of the seldom frequented bars mentioned above, I chatted with a bartender I’ve been acquainted with for quite a while now. When I offered the standard greeting of “how you doing?”, she responded not so good. Turns out she is currently experiencing some medical issues (gynecological in nature, so I didn’t press for details) that she said require surgery. And of course, she doesn’t have the 35,000 pesos ($700.) required to have the operation. So, apparently, she’s been suffering for several months now. I offered her my sympathies and talked a little about how fucked the working poor are when faced with this situation. It was kind of chilling my vibe though, so I finished my beer, wished her well, and said goodnight.

I got to thinking about it more later and sent her a message: Does the hospital accept credit card payments? She didn’t know but said she would find out. I told her if they do, I’d help her out so she could get the surgery she needs. Yeah, look at me. That’s the most expensive pussy I’ve ever paid for and I’m not even getting any (nor do I want to, just to be clear). Today she messaged that credit cards are accepted and I told her to go ahead and get the procedure scheduled. The credit card thing was not about me not being able to get the cash, it was all about making sure I was getting what I’m paying for. Based on the photos of the paperwork she sent, it all seems legit, including the cost. It’s still a lot of money, but at least I’m blowing it on a worthy purpose this time.

Anyway, that’s how things are going in my sick little world.

Well, shit. Here I was all proud of myself for my Hash performance on Monday, then I wake up sick again on Tuesday. This time the symptoms are more cold-like–a cough emanating from the upper chest, a runny nose, light-headedness, and an almost complete lack of energy. I managed to get the grocery shopping done in the morning and nothing much else.

You know it’s pretty bad when I voluntarily forego my daily dose of beer. Can’t even remember the last time that’s happened. I was actually wavering, entertaining thoughts of “maybe just a couple” when mother nature intervened by unleashing a hellacious combination of wind and rain. Yep, staying home definitely proved to be the right decision. Pretty boring though. I fired up my seldom used television and watched some old episodes of One Step Beyond and some other videos on YouTube. Surfed the net, played some online solitaire, then hit the sack early. My helper gave me some cough medicine and a decongestant. That helped me sleep a little more peaceably. I’ve also been using my nebulizer a lot more than usual to keep the lungs functioning satisfactorily under the stress of whatever is ailing me.

I woke up this morning still alive, so I took that as a good sign. While not exactly refreshed, I was feeling a bit more energetic.

I wasn’t really feeling up to doing the hike with the Wednesday Walkers group. Scott sent me the map of the path they would be taking. Around 8K and flat. Just prior to their scheduled departure time I thought to myself, “fuck it, I’m going to walk this shit off.” So I headed out and joined them. I did some coughing and sneezing along the way, but otherwise handled the exercise pretty well. Dog tired at the end though.

Now I’m sitting here dealing with the symptoms (the runny nose is the most irritating) and making plans for my immediate future. And yes, I will be following that age-old advice and drinking plenty of liquids. I do feel better than yesterday, so there’s that. And it’s Wingsday, I have a tradition to maintain.

Gawd, I’m sounding like an old man bitching about his health issues, aren’t I? Then again, I am an old man. It’s what we do!