Another Wednesday group stroll. After Monday’s ball-busting Hash, we gave ourselves a bit of a break with a comparatively easy 6K walkabout.

A good morning on trail and a good evening in store. I started the drinking portion of my life at Sloppy Joe’s and enjoyed some camaraderie at Chris’ table. We were telling stories from our past and having some good laughs. It’s strange the things I can remember from way back when, but I am so forgetful in my day-to-day dealings. Oh well, I’m grateful for the life I’ve had and hope to continue enjoying the one I have for as long as I can.

Swan joined me after her family time, and wanted to go to Wet Spot. Aine had messaged her that she had some news to share. Turns out that Aine has a new Swedish boyfriend and he doesn’t want her working in the bar. That’s understandable. So, it wasn’t exactly a goodbye, her fella lives on Baloy and we invited her to bring him out to the floating bar on Tuesday. Looks like my lady drink tab will henceforth be lessened, but it was nice having someone for Swan to chat with during our Wet Spot visits.

We brought some food home from Sit-n-Bull and called it a night.

Over at ROKDrop, a Korean blog I still follow, there is a post about the littering problems during the cherry blossom festivals. When I lived there, I noticed more litter than I grew up around in the USA, but since moving to the Philippines, Korea seems almost immaculate. Here’s the comment I left:

 I lived in Korea for twelve years, then retired and moved to the Philippines. The litter culture here makes Korea seem pristine by comparison. There is no such thing as public trash receptacles; people toss their garbage on the street with impunity. It’s a beautiful country otherwise, and I admire the Filipino people in many ways, but I just don’t understand the mentality of trashing the environment.

That’s one of my biggest pet peeves here, but the good far outweighs the bad.

The Quora Q&A thing:

Q: Many older male expats move to Southeast Asia because of the foreign exchange. Why don’t more older female expat Westerners do the same thing? Why aren’t older women attracted to cheap living in Philippines? Why does it appeal more to men?

A: I’m a man, so take my answer with a grain of salt, as I can’t really speak for women. The few Western women I’ve seen living in the Philippines were almost always part of a couple or had some other ties here. I often laugh about my hometown here being like a retirement community for old white guys. There are bars, restaurants, beaches, and other things to do, shopping nearby, and rents are comparatively low. What’s not to like?

I guess one obvious answer as to why a single woman wouldn’t move here is that they would likely stay single or have a harder time finding male companionship. Guys here don’t have to be lonely unless they choose to be.

It may also be that while making progress, the Philippines remains a developing nation. Infrastructure can be poor and there are also inconveniences to be dealt with on a daily basis. It could also be that a single woman might not always feel safe living here alone.

So, I guess my bottom line answer is that for women there may be better options.

A single white woman here does stand out, something very rarely seen.

And here are today’s attempts at humor:

The adventure continues tomorrow. Come on by!

It has been said that two things in life cannot be avoided: death and taxes. Welp, I finally got my taxes filed. I’ll continue putting off the other for as long as possible. The taxes proved to be a bigger pain in the ass than usual. I have an accountant back home in South Carolina who does the actual tax forms and calculations. All I have to do is complete and sign the intake forms, scan all my tax paperwork, and email it back. So, I pulled my seldom-used printer off the shelf, plugged it in, and hit the print button. What came out was unreadable. So, I bought some ink, poured it in, and it still didn’t work. Okay, off to the local print shop to get the forms printed. Brought them home, filled them out, and hooked up the printer again to scan them. And I couldn’t get the laptop to connect with the printer to scan the documents. No idea what that’s about or how to fix it. So, it was back to the print shop to have everything scanned there and emailed to me. Then, I forwarded it all off to my accountant. I usually get a decent refund every year, but who knows what to expect from Bidenomics?

Pretty exciting stuff, no? Well, there was also the weekly excursion to Royal for groceries. I have a Royal Customer Card that gets scanned weekly when I shop and earns discount points. I never gave them much thought, but yesterday, I noticed a sign that said to use the points or lose them by April 15. So, naturally, I had the cashier cash me out, and damn, my points were worth 7000 pesos ($140) off my grocery bill. Not bad.

My other big event was my visit to Dr. Jo. She took another blood sample, and we’ll review the results to measure my progress next week, but the external indicators are all on the positive side. She and her hubby, Dr. Chris, were happy to hear of my new efforts at dietary discipline but had some suggestions about excluding some of the fruits I’ve been snacking on—like mangos and bananas.

Anyway, the weight is slowly coming down, and this week, I’m going to work on reducing the beer ingestion to see if I can speed things up.

So, the appointment with Dr. Jo finished a little after 2:30. Rather than go back home for an hour and then head to Baloy, I elected to start my time on the floating bar early. Swan was with me, but she insisted that if we start early, we finish early. I was on board with that.

Zero carbs, but 97 calories in the gin shot. My Zero beer has 60 calories but 2.5 carbs per bottle. But I have the shot of gin served in a tall glass and buy the full can of soda water. In that way, I water down the gin into three drinks instead of one. I also drink fewer gin and sodas than I would beers. So, overall I think it is a decent reduction. The downside is that drinking that way costs almost twice as much. On the Kokomo floating bar, the gin shot is 120 pesos (the same price as a beer), and the soda water can is 90 pesos. Still, since I’m drinking fewer drinks in total, it should average out.

When we arrived on the floater, we were the only customers.

Swan had two wines and I had four gin and sodas. And since we started early, we left early.

It was also too early for dinner or the sunset, so I had the bright idea of visiting another one of my favorite venues:

Sadly, The Rite Spot doesn’t have gin and soda on the menu (yet). But I had cold Zeros in the fridge, so I made do.

I started watching Climate: The Movie on YouTube. For me, it was preaching to the choir, but I hope folks will watch it and see the lies they are being fed about the coming doom. Give it a gander and share it with your indoctrinated friends. Maybe they will learn to start thinking for themselves again.

And here’s evidence that there is a bright side to everything, even Bidenomics:

I had mentioned the four-nation naval (Philippines, USA, Japan, and Australia) exercise taking place next week. Looks like the US Army is coming to play as well. Sure does seem like something is brewing. I hope China rethinks any plans to invade.

Okay, Quora Q&A time:

Q: What would you do if you woke up in the middle of the night and the Grim Reaper (aka Death) was in your room?

A: Most likely, I would die.

Well, I’ve done my taxes; maybe death will give me the fifteen more years I long for.

Now, for the good stuff:

Alright, time to go. See you here tomorrow!

The day’s big event was the candy walk with Swan as she handed out sweets to the kids we encountered along the way. Here’s how it looked:

I took Swan out for a Saturday night dinner at Myleen’s.

After dinner, we had a nightcap at Wet Spot. Then, we made it an early night and headed home at 7:30. I’m getting so damn domesticated.

Speaking of the diet, I’ve lost 3.6 pounds this week (7.1 overall). A little frustrated that I haven’t lost anything since Wednesday, but at least I’m not gaining. I may have to do something radical like reduce my beer consumption. We’ll see. I’m back to see Dr. Jo on Tuesday for a follow-up visit and progress check.

To be fair and politically balanced, I’ll post this Biden campaign ad:

Facebook memories reminded me of an incident back in 2015 when I was still a smoker.

I went to the neighborhood 7-11 to buy some smokes. As is my custom, I told the clerk, “dongbae Marlboro silver chuseyo”. He pointed at the black pack, and I said, “Anio, silver.” He pointed at the gold pack, and I repeated, “Silver.” I finally had to gesture to where the ones I wanted were. He pulled them from the rack, pointed at the word silver, and proceeded to instruct me on how to pronounce the word “silver.” Apparently, it’s “sil-buh.” Who knew? Still, it was a unique experience having a Korean try and teach me how to properly say an English word.

On this day in 2017, I attended a meeting with the USFK Korean Employees Union reps and the American Ambassador to Korea.

Over at Althouse, there was a post where a young American woman talked about the advantages of being with an older man.

“I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting…. I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early. So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors…. I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me…. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower?…”

Grazie Sophia Christie, in “The Case for Marrying an Older Man/A woman’s life is all work and little rest. An age gap relationship can help.”

Anyway, it made me smile because almost all foreigner/Filipina relationships feature a considerable age gap (mine is 68-39). But it is no surprise that there are advantages for all concerned in these autumn-spring romances.

Let’s do the Quora Q&A thing:

Q: Who, as a previous boss, canceled the vacation time of an employee? Why? Did you offer something else?

A:  I wasn’t the boss, but had it happen to me. Back when I was a letter carrier with the USPS we had to “bid” on vacation dates based on seniority. Only a certain percentage of employees were allowed to be off at any given time. Anyway, I had the first week in June, and another guy had the second week. A few days after the bidding was over, the other carrier came to me and said his plans had changed and would I mind switching with him. I didn’t have anything going on that week, so I said sure, let’s clear it with the boss. So we approached the supervisor and told him what we wanted to do. He replied, no problem and instructed us both to fill out a leave form canceling the approved time off and then fill out another form requesting the new dates. And so we did just that.

Once he had our cancellation forms, he took our names off the board showing approved leave. And then he DENIED our new leave requests, saying another carrier was on extended leave, and so the maximum number of carriers was already off. In other words, both of us lost our planned leave. He was gleeful as he told us, and it was obvious he had suckered us into canceling our prior approved leave.

So, all these years later, I just want to say thank you, Mr. Frank Nathan. Your actions that day caused me to join the union and later become a shop steward and eventually the president of the local union branch. My work with the union impressed the HR Director, and she promoted me into my first management job. I had over 35 years of government service when I retired as GS-15 Human Resources Director, and I’m now living a happy life on my pension in the Philippines.

No hard feelings, Frank. I’m still alive, and I’m sure you are not.

Time for the daily dose of (so-called) humor:

Sunday feeding at Hideaway and some Arizona floating bar time are on tap for this evening. Hasta la vista for now.

But first, here is the story of our group hike yesterday. There were no slips or trips, and only one falls. Martin Falls this time. We loaded into Ed’s truck and drove out to the far side of Olongapo City to begin our trek. Some of us had done this hike in 2022, but the way things change, it still had a fresh feeling. It’s less than 3K up to the falls, and then a retrace of our steps coming back. It’s relatively easy compared to some of our more recent hikes. Still hot as fuck, though, but at least we had some shade along the way.

I went back home for the usual R&R activities (blogging, napping, showering), and then it was time to head back into town for the SOB dance competition. This week’s event was held at Queen Victoria, a nice venue with ample seating. It was needed; they really packed them in yesterday. A lot of unfamiliar faces, and a group of what I presumed to be some of the civilian sailors from those Navy supply ships in port. And then I got introduced to this fella:

I’ve been blogging for going on twenty years now, and during that time, I’ve randomly encountered several folks who turned out to be readers here at LTG. Stan was the latest addition to this group. He’s visiting the PI from the USA with his wife of fifty years. In preparation for their trip, they watched YouTube videos and read blogs, including mine. Thanks for that! As I’m sure has been said, no blog is totally worthless; it can always serve as a bad example.

I voted Alaska first and Queen Victoria second. My fellow judges did not agree.

And now I’ve got a full supply of “discount” coupons to put to use in the bars for the next two weeks.

After the show, a flower vendor came by our table, so I gifted Swan with some roses.

We went home after the SOB; sometimes enough is enough. A good night sleep and another day of life today. Keep ’em coming!

Facebook memories are not always happy ones. I was reminded that yesterday was the thirteenth anniversary of my marriage to Jee Yeun.

Facebook shared a happier memory as well.

Let’s do the Quora Q&A thing:

Q: If police officers were truly operating PROPERLY within the legal constraints of the U.S. Constitution, …then what would happen in a scenario where a motorist with no infractions, flips the bird at any officer in U.S. when driving by an officer?

A: I’ve been arrested once in my life. It was under circumstances similar to those described in your question. Except I uttered the words “fuck you, pig!” to go along with giving the finger. I was 17 years old at the time. Here’s what happened:

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll share the text of the charges levied against me:

“On or about July 4, 1973, at 18900 Gothard Street, Huntington Beach, County of Orange, [John McCrarey] did willfully, unlawfully and maliciously disturb the peace and quiet of Mrs. Hal Westley Shirey by offensive conduct, and the use of vulgar, profane, and indecent language, in a loud and boisterous manner, in violation of Section 415 of the Penal Code of California.”

I was found guilty, fined, and released with time served (about 4 hours in a concrete holding cell). No one appeared to testify against me other than the arresting officer. But the judge kept talking about some woman I’d never even heard of, a Miss Demeanor. (bada bing).

Now, as bad as those charges sound, I was not completely without justification for my behavior. Here’s the rest of the story:

It was Independence Day and my girlfriend, Gail Weed (yes, real name), and I were planning on enjoying the Huntington Beach 4th of July parade. Gail was driving (she had a sweet ’65 Mustang Coupe). Finding a place to park was a bitch, and for some reason, they had blocked off Gothard street with a single barrier saying “road closed”. We observed several cars driving around the barrier and I told Gail to follow them as there may be a place to park down there.

So, after bypassing the barrier we went down a slight hill, and at the bottom were several police cars. And they were issuing tickets to everyone who had taken the detour. Yes, my friends, it was a classic trap. We were set up like bowling pins. Back in those days, I had a bit of a temper, and I was pretty pissed about being suckered in such a fashion, especially on America’s birthday! After the girlfriend received her ticket and we were driving away I expressed my opinion about the whole situation by leaning out the window, extending my middle finger, and shouting in “a loud and boisterous” manner FUCK YOU PIGS!

Apparently, the First Amendment doesn’t cover the heartfelt expression of speech in this fashion. We hadn’t gotten a mile down the road before the police helicopter was hovering overhead. And then a cruiser was behind us with red lights flashing (they were red, not blue, in those days). We pulled over and were then surrounded by no less than three police cars! Shortly thereafter the cop who had issued our ticket arrived and announced “yeah, that’s the sonofabitch”.

I was pulled from Gail’s Mustang and was required to answer a series of questions. One of them that I remember was “do you have any scars, tattoos, or other identifying marks?” I responded that I had a Battleship tattooed on my ass, and when I shit, it sinks. That seemed to really make him even angrier, and the next thing I knew I was being thrown up against the police car, my arms were roughly yanked behind my back, and they slapped the handcuffs on me. Then it was off to the jailhouse. For the record, I don’t really have a tattoo.

Dad came and bailed me out a few hours later, and he was even madder than the cop had been. This is why I found myself living on my own at the tender age of 17. But that’s a story for another day.

Anyway, keeping things in perspective, I take solace from knowing that there were numerous occasions of certain other acts in which I regularly engaged that the state deems criminal and for which I was never arrested. So it all balances out in the end, doesn’t it?

Ah, memories. And Rest In Peace, Gail. I wish I had been a better boyfriend back then.

Let’s lighten things up some, shall we?

Had enough? Me too. See you tomorrow.

I made it through another hotter-than-normal day, so that’s an achievement. The Wednesday Walkers postponed our out-of-town hike in Cawag, opting to stay on mostly shady trails close to home. We found some paths we have not used recently, which is always nice. Lots of ups and downs, but nothing long or overly difficult. Our hike suited the weather!

I glanced out the window after my shower, and saw this:

Swan is participating in a feeding at the native Aeta village in Alibang this Sunday. So her and and a friend went shopping for the food yesterday afternoon. Left to my own devices, I did what I do best–celebrating beer o’clock in town. Started at Sloppy Joe’s and chatted with Chris and Shie. The I paid a visit to It Doesn’t Matter. I had a couple more there, and then I decided to give Roadhouse a try. I guess I just wasn’t feeling it, so I caught a trike for home. I grabbed a couple of beers and headed up to The Rite Spot On The Roof. Swan messaged me, “Are you having fun?” I responded that it’s not fun without her. She said, “I’ll join you, where are you?” At the Rite Spot. I think she was pleasantly surprised and came home to be with me.

It was nice to have some quiet “we” time in our rockers on the roof.

On the dog walk this morning, Swan said I was farting again last night. When I showed her my underwear after my hike, she burst out laughing.

While checking to be sure I hadn’t used today’s post title before, I came across this June 2006 post, which talked mostly about some darting activities in Itaewon. It has lots of pictures and memories of a whole other life. I was still married to #3 then and blissfully ignorant of all the heartache to come. But here I am, on the other side, alive and kicking.

It’s election season, so I’ll just put this out there:

Ready for a Quora Q&A?

Q: I forget words while speaking and repeat certain words again and again when I forget the word coming after them. This happens when I’m in my relatives’ house. What should I do?

A: What should you do? Why not run for president? It worked for Biden.

I answered that over three years ago. Things have only gotten worse.

Today’s smiles:

I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. Check back tomorrow to find out.

I spent most of Easter Sunday dealing with the after-effects of my overindulgence on Saturday night.

But after a day of laziness, I found the strength to take Swan out for an Easter dinner. I chose one of my old favorites, Mangos, for our meal.

We had a leisurely dinner and then lounged about, enjoying watching the the beach crowds.

When the sun went down, we moved up the highway to another old haunt I rarely visit these days–Cheap Charlies. Treated my favorites Alma and Nerissa to a lady drink, Swan enjoyed a glass of wine, and I nursed a San Mig Zero.

On the other hand:

So, I’ll add reducing consumption to my to-do list.

Today is the day that honors fools like me. And in the spirit of the holiday, I posted this joke on my Facebook feed this morning:

REWARD! I got drunk last night and left my girlfriend at the bar—I can’t remember which one. If anyone finds her, please let me know. I have no idea who is going to fix me breakfast now.

Most people seemed to get it. One person asked how many girlfriends I have. I wondered where that came from until I re-read my post and caught the ambiguity of “I can’t remember which one.” I meant I can’t remember which bar. Oh well, the jokes on me!

Speaking of breakfast, here’s what Swan prepared for me this morning:

So, it is Easter Monday with the Hash. The main group will take a rented Jeepney to the starting point at the base of Easter Mountain. Us shortcutters who did the mountain climb on Wednesday will start in Alta Vista and pick up the second half of the trail for a hike along the Black Rock ridgeline. I haven’t done that for a while and I’m looking forward to seeing it again.

And now it is time for a Quora Q&A:

Q: In the spirit of the “Festivus” season, I would like all of you to participate in the “airing of grievances”. What are your grievances?

A: My grievance is having no grievances. It is not fair that I have nothing to complain about!

I used to deny grievances for a living back when I worked in labor relations.

And here’s a fool’s attempt at humor:

Alright, it’s time to get on with the only day on the calendar devoted to me. Look for the Hash update tomorrow.

It’s been hot as hell all week, and now it’s Good Friday. Thursday wasn’t bad either, if a tad on the bland side.

When it came time to walk me, I had it in mind to do a long highway walk out to Olongapo and back. But it is Holy Week, and that’s a really big deal in these parts. I noticed the hotel parking lots were full, and traffic on the highway was even worse than usual.

Swan is still doing her meat distributor business. She takes orders, the wholesaler delivers the goods (from Angeles, I think), and then she goes around town making deliveries. That usually happens on Fridays, but not the Good ones. So, while Swan was taking care of business, I hit the bars. I had a half-off coupon for Green Room, so I went to work. It was almost like old times, drinking beers and watching some pool games, buying lady drinks for my waitress and massage girl, and just chillin’.

When it was time to move on, I went next door to Alaska and used my free beer voucher. Jerry was still in the hospital, but reportedly, the surgery went well, and he is due to be released today. Then Swan messaged that she was finished with her deliveries, so we decided to meet up at Wet Spot. Beer and wine, some chat with Daddy Dave, and take out from Sit-n-Bull to finish our day.

Yep, nothing to write home about, but I blogged it anyway.

My pal Scott messaged me early this morning that his girl had climbed Easter Mountain with her hiking club. At 2:00 a.m.! I cannot imagine doing that climb in the dark, but they did. Others went up just before dawn to see the Good Friday sunrise. God bless them.

I found this story about a man marrying ONE of the conjoined twins, and the implications boggled my brain some. Twitchy handled it in typical humorous fashion, but wow, good luck to them. I can’t imagine the wedding night.

And here is an excellent description of the paradox of being old.

I’ve been seeing some posts on Facebook touting Biden’s accomplishments, and in the spirit of fairness, I’ve been sharing them.

And there’s this:

Enough with politics, let’s do the Quora Q&A:

Q: Why do a lot of Koreans go to the Philippines?

A: I took my Korean girlfriend with me on one of my visits to the Philippines. We landed at Clark airport in Angeles City. While waiting in the immigration line, my girl looked around and said, “There must be 100 people in line, but only three of us are women. Why?” I thought for a moment about all the girly bars in the area and then answered truthfully: “The men are here for the golf.”

True story.

Ready for some humor?

So, a Good Friday group hike this morning, and now I’ll try to make it a Good Friday night on the town. I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.

Why did we climb the mountain before Easter Monday? Because it was there! Actually, I think the thinking for some of us was we’d do the Easter Mountain climb on Wednesday, and then for Monday’s Hash, we’ll do the the second half of the trail over the Black Rock Ridge. As yesterday proved, there is no way most of us could do both in one go.

It was a hot and hard up and a long steep down. The good news is I made it without any breathing issues. Which is not to say it didn’t kick my ass. We’ll see how I feel about making that climb again next year. On a brighter note, Swan came along and really seemed to enjoy herself. She was sore and tired when we were done, but she told me this morning she wants to do it again someday. She did say we should start earlier in the morning when it is not so hot.

The actual climb up top and then back down was less than 3K, but my Fitbit told the story of my cardio workout:

I’ve got a shitload of photos from the adventure to share, so let’s get to it:

Too tuckered out to hit the bars after our hike, but with a shower and a nap, I headed up to The Rite Spot.

Anyway, I guess you could say we got rode hard and put up wet. Still, I’m happy for the experience.

Facebook memories carried me back to springtime in Seoul seven years ago:

What does Quora Q&A have for us today?

Q: Why do some clubs in Korea not allow foreigners inside?

A: Well, I lived in Korea for 12 years before retiring and moving to the Philippines. I do recall the clubs with the “Koreans only” signs out front. I didn’t really care because I didn’t want to go where I was not wanted.

I can only speculate on the reasons why foreigners weren’t welcome. But after moving to the PI, I was amused to learn that the Filipina bargirls have a universal nickname for Korean men: “triple three”. Of course, I had to ask what that meant. They laughed and said “three inches, three minutes, three thousand pesos”.

Not trying to start a cockfight here, just repeating what I heard and thought it was funny.

How about these?

Anyway, life is good. I’m glad to be feeling healthy again. Haven’t even needed my nebulizer lately. Weighed myself after that ass-kicking climb and I lost almost a pound. Water weight after all that sweating, no doubt, but still. Back to the bars tonight!

And many moments make up a day. Here are some of the moments that made up my Tuesday.

Off to Royal for the weekly grocery shopping.

Our next stop was DaKudos for some dinner. I ordered a chef salad and Swan asked for chicken parmesan. Apparently, the cook overlooked our order. After waiting over thirty minutes, our waitress went to check and discovered the fuck up. It was getting late (for me), so we had our orders prepared to go.

The chef salad was excellent, and I ended my Tuesday with a nice night’s sleep.

I’m wiped out today from climbing Easter Mountain with the Wednesday Walkers. I have tons of pictures from that adventure to post tomorrow. Tonight, I’ll be hanging out at The Rite Spot.

Some sad news this morning. Daddy Jerry from Alaska Club (featured in yesterday’s post) was painting the walls of his building at the top of a twenty-foot ladder, and it collapsed, sending him crashing to the floor. He was taken by ambulance to our newly reopened hospital in Barretto and underwent surgery to repair his broken humerus bone. He was lucky it wasn’t worse. Jerry was the first bar owner I met on my first visit to the Philippines in 2007. Back then, his bar was in Angeles City. Get well soon, Jerry!

This gave me a bit of a headache, but I’m sure Kevin Kim will appreciate it:

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

You are welcome!

Something for my redneck friends:

Time for some politics:

Facebook memories took me back to the streets of Seoul eight years ago:

Alright, to the Quora Q&A we go:

Q: When will I ever find whatever I’ve been looking for so long?

A: It’s always the last place you look.

Yes, thousands of comedians are out of work, and I’m trying to be funny.

Let’s try some more humor before I go:

It’s time to head for the roof and watch the sun go down. Back tomorrow with more.

I attended the SOB Pool Party instead of Hashing yesterday. It was something different, but nothing I will make a habit of doing (they are only held every few months anyway). The big problem for me, besides not getting my steps in, was drinking so early in the day. The entry fee is 995 pesos, and the event runs from noon until four. The price of admission includes five drinks and a buffet lunch. Swan is a slow drinker, so I used a couple of her tickets. And then, some random stranger came up, said he was leaving and handed me four unused drink coupons. I definitely had my beer-drinking capacity tested, but in the end, I ensured that no coupon went to waste.

Swan and I were comfortably seated at a shady table in the back with Brett, Wet Spot manager and party host. A couple of the events took place on the beach (limbo and a sack race), but I couldn’t be bothered to leave my comfort zone to watch. I could see the poolside games well enough, but I guess I was just not that into the competition. I did enjoy seeing the gals having a good time outside of the bar environment.

A photographer pal of mine was there, but he’s not posted anything yet, so my random shots from the day will have to suffice:

When the event ended at four, we walked up the beach and had our “nightcap” at McCoy’s. At five o’clock, I was spent, so we headed home. According to my Fitbit, I was sound asleep at 6:17 p.m. Naturally, I woke up at midnight, having gotten my usual night’s sleep. I fiddled on the internet for a bit, then forced myself back to bed for some additional fitful sleep.

A nice change of pace but also a good reminder of why I choose not to be a daytime drinker.

So, this was posted on my Facebook feed today:

So, my longstanding concern is that war with China may be inevitable–here, in Taiwan, or both. I’ve been asking around what the purpose of those Navy supply ships is since I never see them docked for offloading. I’m told they are fully loaded and ready for deployment wherever and whenever the need arises. So, they move around between ports here in East Asia, standing by for any contingencies. I haven’t seen more than three in one place, but apparently, there are several more ships at least.

Maybe I’m just paranoid, but it sure feels like something is brewing.

Let’s delve into the Quora Q&A quagmire, shall we?

Q: Should we take a walk in other’s shoes before we judge them?

A: I personally always try on shoes before I buy them to make sure I have a good and comfortable fit. If I judge them uncomfortable, I won’t walk in them.

I’ve had especially bad luck ordering shoes online. They always seem to get the size wrong.

Any one feeling like something a little dirty?

That’s it for today, see you next time!

And round and round we go. Another Sunday fun day in the life. Here are the highlights:

I accompanied Swan on our weekly candy walk. This time, we brought twice as much candy, and I plotted a much longer course. Alas, we dispensed all we could carry in a mere six kilometers (last week, it was five). Still, we brightened the day of a lot of poor youngins, and that’s what it is all about.

Swan spent the afternoon with some friends in Naugsol, and I took care of the Sunday feeding at Hideaway. As usual, we met up again on the Arizona floating bar.

We had our nightcap at Mugshots and then popped into Sit-n-Bull for some takeout. I was in bed before nine and woke up early to see this guy peeking in my window.

I won’t be attending today’s Hash. Instead, I’m going to the pool party at Treasure Island. It’s an SOB-like event, except the girls are in bikinis and competing in poolside games. These are done every couple of months and always on Mondays, so I haven’t been to one in a very long time. So, you’ll get to see something different here tomorrow!

Here’s today’s Quora Q&A:

Q: What’s it like working at a convenience store? What are some tasks you do? What was your most memorable moment while working?

A: I worked in a convenience store back in the 1970s. Graveyard shift (11 p.m. – 7 a.m.). My most memorable experience was the night three guys came in and robbed me at knifepoint. When they took me to the back storage room, I figured I was going to die. Instead, they left me there and said if I came out, they would kill me. They ransacked the store for cigarettes, beer, and the cash in the register, then left.

The next day, corporate headquarters called me to come in for a polygraph to verify I wasn’t involved in the robbery. I told them they could stick their $2.00 per hour job up their ass and quit. Things turned out okay for me after that.

I was not in on it, but I had left too much cash in the register instead of doing the required safe drop, which raised suspicions.

Who’s up for a little humor before I go?

We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Ha! Low and slow is a good description of old age, grilling meats, and my day. Here’s how it went down:

I did the long dog walk (3.5 versus the normal 1.5) to change things up a tad and get some extra steps in. The boys’ tongues were flopping when we finished. Then, I embarked on my Standard Saturday Solo Stroll through the streets of Barretto. I lengthened that up some, too, by walking all the way home instead of stopping at Sit-n-Bull for takeout.

The power was still out when I got back home and my laptop battery was about gone. No fans to cool things off either, which made taking a nap difficult. I got up to find out what Swan was doing and saw this:

I don’t recall any girlfriend, wife, or lover of mine actually reading a book of poems. I sometimes subjected them to my recitations, but no one ever showed much interest in this old passion of mine. Needless to say, I was impressed. Then I noticed she had folded the page corner of her favorites. This was one of them:

Power was restored, I blogged and showered, then asked if Swan would join me for dinner. She’d been hinting around that she wanted to eat at Pugon Corner Smoke Yard, so that’s where I took her.

I was disappointed to get the “sorry, sir. out of stock” reply to my request for the baby back ribs. We decided to get an order of pork ribs and some pulled pork and share.

Both came with sides of coleslaw and fries. Swan gave me her slaw, and she got my high-carb fries. I thought the portions were a tad small, but they tasted good. It was after six on a Saturday night, and we were the only customers. That can’t be good. Then again, an acoustic duo was setting up for live music as we left, so maybe they get a later crowd. I’ll be back one day and try for the baby backs again.

We had our nightcap at Alaska Club, then made it an early evening and headed home. I served some sugar-free butterscotch pudding for dessert, and we were off to bed. I’d rate it a good day.

Today’s Quora Q&A:

Q: Why do Western people want to retire in the Philippines?

A: I imagine everyone has their own reasons. It is a beautiful country with warm and friendly people. What’s not to like? The cost of living is cheaper for some things, while it is more expensive for others(like imported goods). Overall, though, I do live better here on my pension than I could back home.

Here’s a little anecdote that might shed some more light on the question. I was living in South Korea prior to retiring. I brought my Korean girlfriend with me once for a visit. She had a great time, but she broke up with me on the last night of our stay. I asked her why and she said we don’t have a future together because I wanted to retire and move to the Philippines. “Who wants to live in a poor country?” she asked me. I responded that you can live in your rich country and pretend this world doesn’t exist, or you can move to a place like the Philippines and make a difference. I choose the latter.

I have been living here for three years now. I have a full-time helper and several other folks I employ on a part-time as-needed basis. I may not be changing the world, but my presence has made a difference in their lives, at least.

One of my more popular answers, with over 100,000 views and 514 upvotes.

Things I found funny:

Had enough? Me too. Back tomorrow with the Palm Sunday report. Oh, and welcome to Holy Week. It’s a big deal here in primarily Catholic Philippines.

He’s back! Well, the power is, I mean. So, here’s the rest of the story about my yesterday.

The Friday group hike commenced from the Alta Vista Clubhouse and finished at The Rite Spot On The Roof. Yep, we came full circle and in the middle of that trek stood Easter Mountain (the real name is Mount Booitlao). The Hash will be mounting that mountain on April 1st. At least the fools will be. It was an enjoyable 7+K journey and ended with some liquid refreshments and snacks. Here’s how it looked:

I wrote about my appointment with Dr. Jo in the previous post. She says I’m on the right path and to continue eating healthy. I’ll see her again in two weeks. After the doctor’s visit, Swan and I headed to Wet Spot to attend the 1000th SOB event.

Last night’s SOB crowd was not the usual expat old man faces.The Navy MSC ships are crewed with civilians, and many of the attendees were youngish-looking guys, I suspect merchant seamen. I was glad to have them, although some were acting like drunken tourists—loud voices, throwing money on stage during a performance, and buying lots of lady drinks. There’s nothing wrong with having a good time, and I’m sure the gals loved the attention.

Because of our early arrival, Swan and I were a little drunker than normal when we returned home. But the sun rose on another day in paradise, and here we are living it. Life is good.

Facebook memories carried me back to Korea today.

Life goes on until it doesn’t. I’m glad I’m still around to remember the old days.

Today’s Quora Q&A:

Q: Would a person who applied to work for the federal government lose their job if they had smoked marijuana in the past, and once again recently?

A: Depends on the job and the level of security clearance required. Some jobs also require a drug test screening, so depending on how recently you ingested, that could be an issue. To be clear though, even when certain states began legalizing marijuana, the Federal government still prohibits employees from doing so.

I guess that was kind of a dopey answer.

And speaking of dopey, how about these treats?

Another unexpected brownout today. I saw the power company trucks working on lines in the neighborhood, so I guess I’m at their mercy until the job is completed. My battery is at 32% and fading fast, so I’ll be back when the power is.

Here is a quick update on my visit to Dr. Jo. She is happy with my progress and wants me to keep on keepin’ on. The liquid retention issue appears to be in retreat, and she wants me back in two weeks to monitor the situation. She now suspects my earlier lung issues were also associated with the fluid buildup, which makes sense now that I think of it. Anyway, I’m feeling better and stronger. I’ll continue on with my weight loss efforts which will also have a positive impact on my overall health.

Royal hasn’t had sugar-free pudding in stock for months, so I ordered these from Lazada (the Philippines Amazon). Eight boxes cost me thirty bucks, but what are you going to do? When I shared this info with Dr. Jo, she said she had just bought sugar-free pudding at Royal. Turns out, Royal moved the pudding to the candy section for some reason. The Jell-O gelatins are still on the shelf with the baked goods, and that’s where the pudding used to be, too. It makes no sense why they’d move it, but I’ll search again on Tuesday.

Alright, I have lots of photos to share from yesterday, including the Friday group hike.See you when the lights come back on!

I’ve got to make this a quickie post. Follow-up appointment coming up with Dr. Jo this afternoon. I can at least report that I lost 4.7 pounds since Sunday. My lower legs look less swollen as well. We’ll see what she thinks of my progress.

For my “long” walk yesterday, I decided to hike the Govic Highway (Subic bypass) from one end to the other. I’ve done it in bits and pieces over the years, but never the length of it all at once.

In the evening, I took Swan to dinner at John’s place.

After dinner, I decided we should change things up and visit a bar I used to frequent regularly but hadn’t been to for several months–Whiskey Girl. My, how things have changed. One of my favorites, Kim, was still there but obviously a few months pregnant. My other favorite seemed to be ignoring me, but I called her over since I had a coupon for a free beer with every lady drink. It was hard to get reacquainted because the music was loudly blaring, and it was some crap disco-rap shit. I used to really enjoy the quality mix of songs here, but it has gone in a whole other direction. I finished my beer and told Jenn I won’t be back.

We crossed the highway to make Queen Victoria our nightcap venue. And damn, they were playing the same bullshit music, albeit at a more reasonable volume. I’ve been a semi-regular here for years and know the bartender, so I called him over to ask what was up with the music selection. He said that’s what the dancers want to hear. And I responded, but what about the customers? He just shrugged. He did put a different song on, but a few minutes later, I saw a dancer change it back. Oh well. I might come back for some live music someday, but this is no longer a venue I care to go to to chill out over a beer.

Yep, that grumpy old man last night was me. Play what you want as loud as you want. I’ve got fifty other bars to choose from. The thing is, the clientele in this town is primarily old fuckers like me, and we don’t want to hear that young peoples crap. So, if you don’t want my business, keep playing that shit. Rant over.

Today’s Quora Q&A:

Q: What would you do if you were retired and discover that the Social Security trust fund will be insolvent in 2035?

A: Well, I don’t draw Social Security, but I do have a Federal pension. If for some reason Uncle Sam defaults on the promise of providing my monthly stipend, I’d be pretty much screwed. I don’t see that happening though. My bigger concern is that inflation will make my pension worth much less in terms of buying power. Also, since I live overseas, a weak dollar will impact exchange rates compounding the problem. I have money in savings accounts but that won’t last long if the above scenarios come to pass.

Yep, I’m at the mercy of my Uncle Sam. Let’s hope the American people rise up and prevent the bloodbath that four more years of Biden will surely bring to the economy.

On a lighter note:

All right, off to see Dr. Jo, and from there, I will attend the 1000th SOB dance competition.

The day began with the Wednesday Walkers group hike. Later came saying goodbye to an old friend. And finished the day with sucking down some beers at Wet Spot.

We began the hike on the far side of Subic town, in an area we hadn’t visited in several years. Fences constructed since our last adventure in these parts stymied us several times. Still, we made the best of it, taking circular routes and retreating as necessary. It was a good day to be out and about with my fellow travelers.

After some R&R at home, it was time to head into town for some evening fun.

I had a couple of beers with Chris and his gal at Sloppy Joe’s, then moved over to It Doesn’t Matter to say goodbye to Bhel. Swan joined me there.

Swan and I visited Wet Spot for our nightcap, and naturally, she hooked up with her pal, Aine, there.

Another day is in the books. Or at least here at LTG!

Today’s Quora Q&A is a bit special. My most popular answer with 2.7 MILLION views, 2,951 upvotes, 551 comments, and 202 shares. That’s probably about as close to famous as I’m going to get!

Q: Am I lucky living in the Philippines?

A: There is no place else I’d rather be at this time in my life. No, it is far from perfect, but what place is perfect? I’m an American, but there is no way I’d want to be living there with all that craziness going on. Do I get frustrated sometimes with things that happen here? Of course I do. But then I take a walk in the mountains or on the beach, and I remember what’s important in life.

This just happened today—I watched a documentary on Bangladesh and realized that even the poor people in the Philippines live a much better life than many people do elsewhere in the world.

Yes, I feel lucky to be here.

As true now as it was then, but not particularly profound. For some reason, the Quora folk liked it more than anything else I’ve had to say by a long shot.

Now for the funny business:

My weekly excursion to the supermarket was enhanced by my efforts to read the content labels on the foods I purchased. It got to be quite the strain.

I purchased some San Miguel Zero beer for use at The Rite Spot. I checked that label too:

Anyway, I didn’t purchase any of my normal temptations like ice cream. So far, so good.

My other Tuesday routine is the walk to Baloy Beach to visit the Kokomo floating bar. As I walked along Baloy Beach Road I came upon this disconcerting sign:

Yesterday’s experience was not a good one. The music was blaring when I arrived, which I despise. I asked the bartender if she would turn it down, and she did. I was the only male customer, but a group of women at one of the tables were partying loudly, and their shouts and screams were pretty annoying. One of them got up and raised the music volume higher than its previous level. None of the bar staff said a word, so I just waited for Swan to finish her wine (she is a notoriously slow drinker–I drink three for her one), and we departed before sundown.

Since it was still early, we walked up the beach to McCoy’s. There was definitely a much friendlier vibe there. No music was playing (we were the only customers), and I asked if I could connect my Bluetooth to the speaker, and they agreed. So, I had no complaints about the playlist!

I noticed that the Wild Orchid Barefoot Beach Bar had reopened next door following extensive remodeling. They had no customers, but a live acoustic band began playing anyway. I turned off my Bluetooth and listened to them from McCoy’s. Damn, they sounded great. And they were playing some of my old favorites from the sixties. Swan went next door to have a closer look.

When Swan returned, I asked her what she thought of the Barefoot Bar. She said beers were 150 pesos (the most expensive I’ve seen in town), and a glass of wine was a whopping 360 pesos. No wonder they don’t have any customers. It’s a shame because otherwise, it appears to be a nice venue.

I was feeling no pain when we got back home and I went to sleep early—and woke up to another beautiful day in paradise. Keep ’em coming!

The Quora Q&A for the day:

Q: Does it get lonely after you retire?

A: I’m not sure “lonely” is the word I’d use, but I definitely missed the daily interactions with my co-workers. It turns out it was the people I worked with that mattered more than the actual work I did. Go figure.

Your daily dose of humor:

Oh well. That’s all I’ve got for now.

Another Sunday has come and gone. I guess I am of Scottish blood because I didn’t give a thought to wearing green or otherwise celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day. Still, I took comfort in my familiar routines and appreciated the joy of living the life I have chosen. It may not be perfect, but it satisfices.

Swan and I began our morning with the weekly candy walk. I had planned an 8K route, but the candy (and there was a lot of it) was gone after only 5K. We are doubling up on our candy purchase for next week.

Later in the day, I took care of the feeding at Hideaway. Five dinners this week.

With my Hideaway mission completed, I headed for the beach.

We were the only customers. There were eight girls and the two raft drivers. After an hour or so of watching them sit with nothing to do, I had the cashier make some change and give me ten 50-peso notes. Then I announced, “Is anyone here bored?” Everyone raised their hand, and I gave them some pesos to cheer them up. Hey, it’s cheaper than buying everyone a lady drink.

After departing the floater, I took Swan to Jewel Cafe for dinner. I am a regular Sunday customer for takeout, but I rarely have a sit-down meal there.

Life is good. I’m going to try to hold onto mine for as long as possible.

Alright, let’s do the Quora Q&A for the day:

Q: Is Joe Biden the most feared world leader?

A: He scares the hell out of me. Nothing good can come from his level of incompetence.

I answered that two years ago. It has only gotten worse since that time.

Speaking of jokes, how about these?

Okay, another Hash Monday is upon me. Guenter (Vienna Sausage) is the Hare, so I know I’ll be doing a modified version of his trail. I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.

The Friday group hike and the SOB filled the hours of my day. More of the same old same old, but then, a good same is never bad. That seems to be the story of my golden years.

We started the hike in Subic Hills and made our way to Castillejos. A couple of wrong turns and wading across a river were the interesting events, but we hadn’t been out that way in over a year, and it was a nice change of scenery. I didn’t mind that we didn’t do much hill climbing either.

I hadn’t been to the SOB for awhile, and last night was the 22nd Anniversary for the event.

So, I drank too many beers and enjoyed the show. I came away with a pocketful of discount tickets, which I reckon will motivate me to go out and spend money in the bars for the next week or so. And that’s how I ended another Friday.

Today’s Quora Q&A:

Q: Retirees, when you first retired did you have any trouble adjusting to the new version of your days?

A: I really didn’t. At the conclusion of my final day at work, I hopped on a plane and flew to the Philippines to begin my life of leisure. In the beginning, I was kept busy with making the transition—finding a house to rent, exploring the area, and discovering my soon-to-be favorite bars and restaurants.

Now, three years on, I’ve totally adapted to my new environment. The oddest thing is that I actually start my day EARLIER than I did when I was working the old office hours. Now, I’m almost always in bed by 9:00 p.m. and up every morning at 4:30. It’s all good, though. I’m enjoying my days and my routines.

It’s been almost six years now, and I’m still carrying on. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, even when everything is pretty much always the same, day in and day out, it’s better than a life of routines would be for me back in the USA. No regrets!

Okay, a couple of these are actually funny I think:

Anyway, back to Dr. Jo for a follow-up this afternoon. Not sure what’s going to happen after that. I’ll let you know tomorrow.

…it remains stationary. It doesn’t stop me from trying, though.

I did one of my long (for me) solo walks yesterday, taking the highway to SBMA and then strolling around parts of the old Navy base I rarely see. It was nice for a change of pace and I managed eleven kilometers, almost double what I normally do. I broke my rule about not losing my cool when I decided to take a taxi back to Barretto. I always ask how much (the cabs are not metered), and the driver didn’t want to give me a straight answer. The last ride was 300 pesos, but this driver gave me the “up to you” routine. I wasn’t in the mood for playing games, and I gruffly told him to tell me how much. He said, “500 pesos,” and I told him to stop the car. Then he said 400 pesos, and I yelled again, stop! I exited the cab, walked across the highway, and caught a Jeepney back to Barretto for 20 pesos. Got out at Sit-n-Bull and had a great lunch.

The evening hours felt a little like old times. Swan had plans early, so we agreed to meet up later for dinner. I filled the hours with a mini-bar hop, spending time in Green Room and Roadhouse and spreading some lady drink cheer. Later, Swan joined me at John’s place for a nice dinner. It was my waitress friend Em Jhae’s last night there, so we bought her dinner, too. She almost cried when I gave her a nice tip as a going-away present. Then, after our meal, we met some of Swan’s friends at Voodoo for a couple more drinks. It’s been a while since I’ve done the night on the town routine. Good times!

Here are some photos from the day:

Facebook memories reminded me of the last family gathering with Mom and Dad back in 2009.

I follow politics but no longer engage in much debate. Still, sometimes I come across something too good not share.

Moving along, here’s today’s Quora Q&A:

Q: Is Angeles City in the Philippines a good place to live? Is it as bad as people say?

A: I personally wouldn’t want to live there. It is a city that has all the modern conveniences—shopping, an international airport, nightlife—and not much else, in my opinion. Angeles was one of the first places I visited in the Philippines, but I’d find myself bored and depressed after a few days. Not much to do during the day, and the girly bars get old before long.

I chose to live a couple of hours away in Olongapo. Here I have beaches to walk and mountains to climb. I can find most of what I need here, and Angeles is just down the road should I need anything that it offers.

That doesn’t mean that Angeles is bad, it is just not for me.

I am OK going to Angeles for a day or two, especially for an event like the Hash. But I prefer places like San Antonio/Pundaquit when I need a quick get away. In fact, I’m about ready now.

Alright, you knew these were coming:

Time to get ready for tonight’s SOB dance competition. Haven’t been to one for several weeks, so it should feel fresh again. I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.