A sophomoric rendition

Posted on 05/March/2023 by John McCrarey

I believe in the long history of LTG, this is the first time I’ve scanned a document and then uploaded the PDF to a post. I wasn’t sure it would even work, and I won’t know if the copy is readable until I publish it. So, consider this an experiment.

Anyway, from deep in the memory box, this is something I wrote as a sophomore in a high school English course. Nothing special about it, although it does demonstrate that I’ve been consistently atrocious in grammar, spelling, and punctuation throughout my life. Now, this is a typewritten document, and I’m sure some errors are, in fact, typos, but still, it demonstrates that I was always better at content than mechanics. You can see the teacher used a lot of red ink on my work. Hard to remember how rough we had it back in the days before automatic spellcheck.

sophIIII Download

I’m still hoping that “heaven” turns out to be a do-over life. Obviously, I’d still make the same grammatical errors, but I’d have a lot more fun if I knew then what I know now.

UPDATE: Weird; when I publish, the document shows upside down. It’s easy to flip using the rotation key at the top of the PDF box, but I don’t know why it does that.

UPDATE II: Hmm, it is also too small to read, at least for me. If anyone has suggestions on how to better upload documents like this one, please let me know in the comments.

An Ernest feeling

Posted on 04/March/2023 by John McCrarey

A comment on yesterday’s post really triggered some memories. Nate’s remark was simply, “A Clean Well-Lighted Pace.” That’s a short short story by Ernest Hemingway. About a five-minute read, so check out the link if you haven’t read it before. The irony of Nate thinking about that story when reading my post isn’t lost on me. I had to write a paper on that story in a college literature course sometime last century, and I found it moving even as a young man. And now, here I am in old age, practically living it.

And the coincidences continue. I did a quick search of my blog archives and saw I had written a post back in 2006 entitled “A clean well-lighted place.” That one was about a pretty wild night out on the town early in my Itaewon life. It brought back a flood of memories of long-gone friends. I am happy to report that one of the “stars” of that post, June, has been happily married to an American Air Force NCO and is the mother of a sweet daughter. How’s that for a happy ending?

Back here in present times, I took a break from the SOB last night and instead hung out in my version of a clean, well-lighted place–Cheap Charlies. But unlike the Hemingway character, I wasn’t sitting alone.

***Although Hemingway did feature two waiters in his story. I continue*** ***to be impressed while conversing with Nerissa (on the left). Jane is happy just to give me a back rub while we share drinks.***

Something also happened in the bar last night that is very rarely seen. A big spender rang the bell. Okay, that happens pretty frequently, but a bell ring usually just provides a drink for the working girls. This guy bought drinks for everyone in the house! No idea how much that act set him back, but he is definitely not a cheap Charlie! He also provided some entertainment with a nifty trick he did with the lady drinks:

***The shots lined up on the drink glasses. Then he knocked the first one in, and the rest fell like dominos all the way down the line. Very impressive!***

I had such a good time that I just stayed at Cheap Charlies and didn’t do my usual bar crawl, although I did stop for a nightcap at Whiskey Girl on the way home.

That was my night; my morning was equally pleasant, featuring a hike with the Friday group.

***We took an infrequently used route for the climb up, then hiked the familiar My Bitch route, but found a little-used and interesting path back down to Rizal Extension. A little over 6K all in.***

***A resting spot at the halfway-up point***

***Looking down on Barretto***. Estimated elevation above sea level. 12.7 meters (41.7 feet) Barreto is a barangay in the city of Olongapo. Its population, as determined by the 2020 Census, was 21,794. This represented 8.37% of the total population of Olongapo.

***Those houses in the foreground are in Alta Vista***

***The kids here call cookies “biscuits.”***

***My mountain friend Olivia with her grandkids***

***Those houses front Rizal Extension***

***Another shady rest spot. I’m unsure who builds these up here or why, but thank you!***

I’d say my life here is better than nothing!

What did he fear? It was not a fear or dread, It was a nothing that he knew too well. It was all a nothing and a man was a nothing too. It was only that and light was all it needed and a certain cleanness and order. Some lived in it and never felt it but he knew it all was nada y pues nada y nada y pues nada.

As the hours roll by

Posted on 03/March/2023 by John McCrarey

I continue to fill my time in the usual ways, walking and drinking being the bookends, with blogging and napping occupying the space in between. I used to feel like I was wasting what was left of my life by not engaging in more meaningful activities during my retirement years, but lately, I’ve come to accept that I’m in my comfort zone, and if this is all there is, then that will be enough. That’s not to say I’m not receptive to any opportunities to change my life that may come along, but in the meantime, I won’t lament the things I don’t have. I’ve actually come to appreciate the value of my solitary life, boring though it may be. There are worse things than being alone, and I’m not convinced that the relationship I’ve craved in my imagination is worth the drama that seems inherent when you open your heart to another.

That’s my initial thinking, anyway. As Joni Mitchell sang all those years ago, “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone…” We’ll see if any of the women currently vying for my attention are able to change my mind.

***Enjoying the flowers I encountered***

When it was time for my evening entertainment, I took a walk out to Baloy Beach.

***And visited my new old friend, the floating bar.***

***I took this photo from the raft en route to the floater. One of the other riders cautioned me to put my phone away before I dropped it over the side. It was good advice, and I took it.***

***The raft of which I spoke. Two guys pulling on ropes is how it moves between the floater and the shore***.

***Some of my fellow customers on board***

***A zoom view of the old Hanjin shipyard, currently in the process of reopening under new ownership. Thank goodness the Chinese didn’t get their hands on it like they wanted.***

***It was a nice time relaxing on the water.***

In its previous iteration, the food delivered on board the floating bar came from Treasure Island. This year, the menu was from Lagoon. It’s okay, but not one of my favorites. So, instead of eating on the floater, I went to Treasure Island when I disembarked.

***I went with the pulled pork sandwich. A little skimpy on the meat, especially compared to John’s place and Sit-n-Bull. But it was tasty enough. I put the side of coleslaw on top.***

After my meal, I walked back to the highway and stopped at Snackbar for my nightcap. Haven’t been there in a while; there is too much drama with some of the staff. Last night was fine, though. Even Lydell, the gal I dated a couple of times, was sweet to me. She surprised me by playing “Cotton Eye Joe” and inviting me to do some country swing dancing with her. It was actually quite fun, and she earned herself a couple of lady drinks.

And then, it was time to go home, so I grabbed a trike. Made me a smoothie and then hit the sack. Fitbit says I was asleep at 8:30. That’s the way this old man rolls these days.

Death March

Posted on 02/March/2023 by John McCrarey

I started my March with my first visit to the Bataan Peninsula. We took a southerly coastal route through Morong to Bagac, then followed the path of the Death March as far as Hermosa before heading back home.

As I mentioned yesterday, my gal pal Nerissa suggested we spend some time getting to know one another better by visiting historical sites together. When she suggested Bataan, I was all in–it’s an area I’ve always wanted to see. I was impressed with just how beautiful the parts we visited were.

I left it up to Nerissa to pick the destination; she wanted to see Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar. I’d never heard of it before, but I was ready for something new, so we were off.

***I’m unsure what I expected***, but it wasn’t this. It was more like a resort than a historic site. You can read about it at the Wikipedia link above, but basically, some rich Filipino in Manila had landmark buildings from the Spanish era taken down in their original locations and rebuilt here. So, everything that I saw seemed out of context somehow.

***What little we saw of the place had some interesting things, but we didn’t get to see much.***

***My tour guide at the entrance of Las Casas. She had thought the Spanish buildings were built here by Spaniards living in the area during colonial times. But the real surprise was yet to come.***

So, we went inside to pay the entrance fee, and we were told the guided tour, including lunch, was 2500 pesos PER PERSON. That’s a hundred dollars for us both. That’s Disneyland pricing. Nerissa was as shocked as I was and asked how much for us just to walk around and look on our own. Not an option–guided tour only. I told Nerissa that was a non-starter for me–not worth the price, and I didn’t bring that much cash (I only carry 5000 with me most of the time). She agreed it was a ripoff, so we departed without seeing much more than what’s in the pictures above.

I was hoping to see some sites related to the Bataan Death March. Bagac, the town we were in, was one of the starting locations of the march. As we drove along the highway, we’d periodically see these markers:

***At the time, I didn’t know what the “B” was about. Once I read up on the history, this was the trail from Bagac. Another group started from Mariveles at the southern end of the peninsula.***

***The back side was a memorial to one of the marchers.***

I told Nerissa another trip to Bataan was in our future, but this time I’d do better research and find more suitable historical sites to visit. She agreed that’s what we should do.

Still, driving through the unfamiliar countryside was pleasant, and I was enjoying Bataan’s rural vibe. So, it wasn’t really a wasted trip.

***What’s that off in the distance? Mount Samat, you say? What’s that poking out from on top? Let’s check it out.***

One of the last battles was fought here before the retreat from Bataan to Corregidor. Today, it is a shrine dedicated to Filipino and American soldiers who died during the war.

***The most enormous damn cross I ever did see.***

***Having some people in the photo gives a little more perspective regarding its size.***

***The views from up here were amazing***

***I don’t remember seeing a pine tree that looked quite like this before***

***We had a boomin’ good time on Mt. Samat. It was a blast. I’m glad we gave it a shot.***

***Come on, Nerissa, let’s go to the souvieneer shop!***

***Nerissa got a t-shirt, and I bought this poster. It should help me with my research before the next visit.***

We returned to Barretto late afternoon, and I was a little tuckered out. Dropped Nerissa off and headed home for some rest. I did find the energy to visit Hideaway for the Wednesday feeding.

***Joy found the pizza a little too hot.***

I didn’t stay out late, and I have the evidence to prove it.

***My Fitbit says I was asleep at 8 p.m. Damn, that’s early, even by my low standards.***

Still, it was a good day. I’ve got lots of things to think about and figure out my next moves. More on that another time. I do believe I’ll spend some time reflecting on the floating bar on Baloy this evening.

Marching forward

Posted on 01/March/2023 by John McCrarey

***The beginning of the end…of February***

A fruitful last day of the month included getting an extension on my tourist visa for another sixty days in paradise. I also completed my weekly grocery shopping excursion at the Royal supermarket.

***Speaking of the end of the month, it looks like this milk will never expire! (I found this on the internet, not at Royal.)***

In other news, a young woman messaged me and said she’d like to get to know me better. She suggested exploring some historic sites in the neighboring province. I was up for that and have arranged for my driver to take us to Bataan today to have a look around.

***Yes, I met her in a bar. She’s 31 years old. I’m looking forward to seeing how today’s adventure plays out.***

I also heard from the teenager I’ve been dating. It seems her child is ill with dengue and asthma and needs some medical care. I’ll give her credit; she at least asked me in the proper way: “I know you are not responsible for taking care of my son, but if you could help me out today, I promise I’ll work to repay you.” I wired 4000 pesos to her and haven’t heard from her since. I hope everything is okay.

I made some crockpot chili and baked some cornbread muffins to go with it. Then it dawned on me that my Bataan excursion may preclude me from doing my Wednesday feeding at Hideaway bar. So, I packed up my kitchen work and carried it into town.

***And Oreo cookies for dessert (yes, I doubled checked the spelling this time!)***

It’s chili inside Joy. There’s really nothing special about my chili, but it does get rave reviews whenever I serve it. I’m not sure why. I added some pineapple chunks to this version, and that seemed to go over well.

It wasn’t the most pleasant ambiance at Hideaway last night. A group of guys were there and had almost all the gals tabled and were plying them with drinks. Nothing wrong with that; that’s why the gals are there. What bothered me was that the girls were screaming and shouting as they enjoyed themselves. I couldn’t hear the music or talk over their noisemaking. To escape, I took Joy down to the pool table area and played a couple of games. She proceeded to kick my ass, but I have to give her credit; she made some really good shots.

The two-week millionaires eventually left, and things quieted down. I had a couple more drinks, then headed out myself. I decided to use my “buy a lady drink, get two customer drinks” coupon at Hot Zone. The first order of business was to determine who would be the beneficiary of my lady drink. I assumed it would be my waitress, but then the mamasan also appeared at my table. I told the girls to decide between them, and of course, the waitress deferred to her boss. And I, of course, wasn’t going to make her go without, so I wound up buying two lady drinks. That’s the magic of those coupons–what I think will be a good deal for me winds up costing me extra in the end. Oh, well, it’s only money.

***Hot Zone always has a nice lineup of dancers if that’s your thing.***

Despite having had more than enough to drink, I wasn’t done quite yet. I walked on up the road to Wet Spot for my nightcap. I had another coupon, this one for a “free upgrade” on a Sit-n-Bull pizza from medium to large. I guess I was in a feeding frenzy because I bought one for the Wet Spot girls to share.

***I was a little bit late with the camera, but as you can see, Hawaiian is the pizza of choice for the bargirls here, too.***

I think I mentioned that one of Mary’s schoolmate friends works as a dancer at Wet Spot. I had actually noticed her before I met Mary because there was just something exotic about her looks.

***I can’t remember her name now. I think Mary told me she is twenty years old.***

After paying for the pizza and some drinks for the lass above, my wallet was out of gas (I usually only bring 5000 pesos when I go out, just in case something stupid happens). So, I said goodnight and triked on home.

When I woke up this morning, it was March. I’ll start the month off with a fresh face in some new places. I may not have a clue about what tomorrow will bring, but that just adds to the adventure.

Long winded

Posted on 28/February/2023 by John McCrarey

Yesterday’s Hash was a good one. Not only did I enjoy the trail, but it didn’t feel like I was going to die from shortness of breath. That’s a nice change and hopefully a sign that my condition is improving.

There was a long trail of 9K and a short version coming in around 5K. Of course, I took the short option, which featured only one big climb and a couple of shorter ones that I handled pretty well. Half the trail was familiar territory, and I hadn’t hiked the other half in quite some time, so that was nice for a change.

***The Yellow line is the short trail bypassing a big-ass 4K loop.***

***Some last-minute guidance from the Hare, Anal Receptive***

This narrow walkway near the start was all uphill, and I was a little worried that it had winded me a some. But I pressed on, and I must have caught my second wind by the time we got to the big hill. I’m not saying it was easy by a long shot, but I felt strong and in control.

***One of my regular neighborhood paths that lead up to my street***

***Through the field and then out of the ‘hood***

***It was a very well-marked trail and easy to follow.***

***The only dwelling in this area. It must feel lonely out here, especially at night.***

It’s always weird to be marching through someone’s yard like this, but the resident seemed friendly and okay with it. Maybe he was just glad to see some fellow humans. Or the cute Filipina Hashers.

***A steep and slippery downhill slope.***

***And then things flattened out for a bit.***

***My first cookie recipients of the day as we passed through Marian Hills***

***Easter mountain through the trees on the way up***

***And at the top of the hill, the option to go left for long or right for short. I made the right choice.***

***It was good to see my mountain family friends again. “Long time no see, John.” Nice to see you again, Olivia. Have some cookies!”***

***A clear view of Easter mountain from here***

***And then came the final down of the day.***

***Some words of wisdom left by the Hare***

***Then it was all pavement the rest of the way back to the On-Home at It Doesn’t Matter.***

***We weren’t the last ones back, either.***

***Yours truly demonstrates Hashin’ in Action!***

***R & R as we wait for the circle to commence.***

***Bum Burglar being recognized for completing 650 runs with the SBH3***

***“Hashy Birthday, Fuck You” is the song we sing while making the cake***

***And that’s the way the old guy sees it.***

I’m just happy that I’m still able to participate. Going to enjoy it while I can.

Fed up

Posted on 27/February/2023 by John McCrarey

My Sunday included my standard solo walk, a visit to the doctor(s), and the feeding at Hideaway Bar. And I’ve got some pictures to prove it!

***The view as I left the neighborhood***

I messed up with my tracker, so I don’t have a distance to report, although it was probably a tad less than 7K, based on past performance.

The visit with Dr. Jo and her physician husband, Chris, is always pleasant. It’s more like chatting with friends than a doctor’s appointment. Anyway, the diagnosis is that my coughing/phlegm expulsion indicates an infection not associated with my COPD. I got some meds for that, and they already seem to be working. Same with the eyes, and a different medication for that. I mentioned that they have that tube in the nostrils whenever I see photos of someone being oxygenated in the hospital. Since I can’t breathe through my nose with my sinus congestion, I’ll be a dead man if I’m administered oxygen in that manner. They both agreed that since nothing else had worked to relieve the congestion, I should consider surgery to remove the overgrown nodules in my nose. A different doctor had recommended that, but I rejected the idea when I was told it required being anesthetized to unconsciousness. I just don’t trust the hospitals here with my life. Dr. Jo says she has an ENT friend in Manila who is much better than the local doctors, and I agreed to pursue the surgery through her.

After the appointment was completed, I headed to the Jewel Cafe to order some food for the Hideaway girls. The nice thing about Jewel is that they deliver, so I don’t have to sit around waiting at the restaurant.

***Along with spaghetti, pork sisig, and of course, rice.***

***And brownies for dessert. I actually made two batches; one of the waitresses asked if I could bring some for her daughter to take to school.***

***I hope your friends like them too!***

***Joy seems to be enjoying the garlic bread***

I was the only customer for most of the time I was there, and I guess things got a little crazy. I know my tab was over 3000 pesos, about triple what I usually spend. Joy messaged me this morning and asked if I remembered what had happened. Uh oh. No, I didn’t remember anything beyond getting home drunk. Joy said that I was licking the bare breasts of one of the waitresses. And no, I didn’t get grabby; she pulled her shirt up and offered them to me. I told Joy I was sorry, and she said, don’t be sorry; it was fun. If you say so. I’m embarrassed by that kind of behavior.

I’m really thinking I need to switch back to beer. I don’t seem to be able to pace myself appropriately with gin. The problem is that gin sneaks up on you–one minute you’re okay, the next you are a drunken idiot. And it’s not like I’m out drinking all night. I started at 5:00 yesterday, and my Fitbit says I was asleep at 8:21. I guess I’m just a lightweight.

It’s Hash Monday today, so I’ve got that to look forward to. I am also going to the dentist this morning to have my crown reattached. Yep, one adventure after another around here.

Another small town Saturday night

Posted on 26/February/2023 by John McCrarey

Alcohol called, and I answered. I hadn’t been to Cheap Charlies in a while, so I made that my first stop. I was surprised it wasn’t busier, but it was still early (a little after 4 p.m.).

***My crew was waiting; ready, willing, and able to make me feel special***

So, I ordered up drinks for all of us and enjoyed the views.

Feeling overly generous, I treated “my” girls to some supper:

***You can almost see the satisfaction on all of our faces***

Anyway, I enjoyed treating the girls. Narissa messaged me today and asked if I’d like to join her in exploring some nearby historic sites, and I heartily answered affirmatively. I’ve wanted to see Bataan since I moved here, and now I have no excuse not to do so.

After Cheap Charlies, I visited It Doesn’t Matter and shared some drinks with the lovely Juliet. Then I finished my night with a couple more at Wet Spot. My former favorite there thought she was ignoring me, but she didn’t realize that after her rude behavior on my previous visit, I had no desire to be in her presence. So, do me a favor and keep on rejecting me, bitch.

A rough night last night with the breathing; I had to get up a couple of times to nebulize.

***But I lived to enjoy another beautiful morning.***

***So, I celebrated by baking up a batch of blueberry muffins***

Facebook memories reminded me of a time in my working life when I was appointed Acting Director, Human Resources for the Roanoke, VA Management Sectional Center of the United States Postal Service.

I’m going to visit Dr. Jo this afternoon. This time about my eyes. They’ve been dry and itchy and oozing some white goop. I’ll also let her know my sinuses haven’t improved since my last visit, and my lungs have worsened. I’m not confident there’s a fix for that, though.

I’m posting a Hal Ketchum song I like called “Small Town Saturday Night,” and when I did the search, I was surprised to discover he died in 2020. At age 67. Scary shit. Rest in Peace, Hal, and thank you for some great songs.

Because I’ve been away the past two weekends, today was my first Sunday weigh-in since February 5. Sadly, I’ve gained 0.8 pounds since then, putting me at 219.4. That’s down 5.9 pounds since January 1. Time to reign in those cheating excuses, I reckon.

Milestones along the way

Posted on 26/February/2023 by John McCrarey

I found a few things in my “memories” box besides bad writing. Like these achievements on the road to where I am. Nothing all that special, really, but it did trigger remembrances of days long ago. I’m just posting here as a way to preserve them.

***Done with elementary and ready to get high.***

I guess, technically, it was middle school or junior high. Those were the days when I started learning my smart-ass ways. Like this encounter:

The other incident that is seared into my memory involves my 7th grade math teacher, Peter Boothroyd. I’m sure he’s dead by now so I won’t begrudge him. Much. I was being my usual smart ass self in class one day and he called me out on it by saying “Keep it up McCrarey and you’ll wind up selling jello out of a truck like your father”. Ouch. Well, as it turns out I did for a time wind up working in route sales (sandwiches, not jello). But I’m proud to say that I went on to bigger and better things, beyond anything a pea brain like Peter Boothroyd could have imagined possible. Hmm, I guess maybe I am still a little bitter.

Another teacher kicked me hard on the shin when I joked about his fat belly. Hmm. Maybe I was more of an asshole than a smart ass.

***I made it through high school, too.***

I was definitely high for most of it. I did well in my journalism and creative writing courses, did okay in history, and pretty much sucked at everything else. Mainly because I was preoccupied with sex and drugs and rock-n-roll. I had to take some night courses at the local community college to earn enough credits to get that diploma. I wrote about those high school daze here.

After high school, I floundered around in some dead-end jobs, fathered a child, and got married. Then in 1976, the Postal Service hired me as a letter carrier and thus began my career in government service. I delivered mail in Anaheim, CA, Prescott, AZ, and Fort Smith, AR, before I received this letter in 1985:

***Promoted to Safety Specialist for northwest Arkansas.***

Another promotion a couple of years later took me to Columbia, SC. I decided it was in my best interest to earn that long-delayed bachelor’s degree to reach my full potential as a government bureaucrat, so I enrolled at the University of South Carolina.

***Well, I’ll be damned; I must have gotten smarter over the years. Well, smart enough to say no to drugs anyway.***

***I was working full-time and taking classes at night and on the weekends. It really was a slog.***

USC added some degree requirements that I found unfair and overly burdensome, so I transferred to a smaller local college.

***And I finally earned my B.S. degree in Business Management in 1991.***

And the rest is history. Still, looking back from an end-of-life perspective, it was quite a ride.

SOBserviant

Posted on 25/February/2023 by John McCrarey

My date with Mary last night left her SOBing. But she professed to enjoy it, so there’s that. We met up at Mango’s for dinner before the show.

***I went with the pork chops. Mary chose sizzling sisig for her meal.***

After dining, we crossed the highway to Alaska Club and arrived early enough to secure a good table. We had an hour to fill before the show, and I opted to have a beer cheat day to maintain some semblance of SOBriety. Mary had a beer too, but her’s lasted the entire hour. Once drinks were free at the show’s beginning, she switched to mango juice and water. The SOB made money on her (or should I say me) because I couldn’t drink enough to recover the 1400 peso entry fee for a couple. I’m not complaining. Much.

Just before the dancing started, Mary ran into a school friend who danced with the Wet Spot team. Naturally, I invited her to join us for a couple of lady drinks. Mary got into the show, taking videos of all the teams performing on her phone. A couple of guys who arrived late took the empty seats at our table, which I don’t have an issue with. One of them got very drunk before the show ended and proved to be a bit of a dick. He was passed out on the table when I left.

It was only 8 p,m. when we left Alaska, but I’d had enough. Mary wanted to come to spend the night, and I was okay with that. I made some smoothies and turned on the TV. for the first time in months. Mary says she’s addicted to Korean dramas, so I decided to share one of my favorite Korean movies, a romantic comedy called “My Sassy Girl.” She seemed to enjoy it.

It was well past my bedtime by now, and my lungs were giving me fits–coughing up gobs of phlegm. So, no romance in the sack other than a bit of cuddling. In the morning, I fired up the nebulizer and popped a pill, and was ready for a go before breakfast.

Mary joined me for the dog walk; then, I made a batch of burritos for our morning meal. Afterward, she accompanied me for a portion of my Saturday street walk, and we said our goodbye at the town marketplace on Rizal street. I think we both enjoyed our date together.

The Friday morning group hike was okay. I told my fellow walkers that they could proceed to climb mountains without me because my lungs were not up to the task. They insisted on sticking together for a flat walk, so we did an 8K street trek. I was worn out by the end. I’m increasingly worried that my diminished breathing capacity is my new normal.

***Seven in our Friday group this week*** ***(Jim missed out the photo)***

***On the neighborhood streets of Matain.***

And there you have it, another day I lived to tell about. I hope there are many more to come.

Will I be with you?

Posted on 24/February/2023 by John McCrarey

What can I say
That hasn't been said before?
What can I do
That hasn't been done before?
How can I show you my feelings are real?
How can I tell you
The way that I feel?
Would you believe me
If I said it was love?

What would you say
If I asked you to love me?
What would it mean to you
Karen, please tell me.
Would you just laugh 
And call me a fool?
Or would you smile and say
"I love you, too."
Would it possible
You loving me
Or is it a dream
Never to be?

There's no other feelings
I can show
I've told you I love you
In the only way I know
It's up to you, Karen
Either way;
There's nothing more
I can say.
So what will it be,
Yes or no?
Will I be with you,
Or will I go?

***I used to write a lot of poems back in the day. I never claimed to be good at it.***

I wrote that back in 1971 for the girl who said yes and became my sweetheart in high school. She moved away in my senior year, but the long-distance relationship lasted a couple of more years. And I’m proud to say that, like most of my former loves, we have maintained a friendship, and I see her posts regularly on Facebook.

Oh, the stories I could tell! We reconnected at our high school’s twenty-year reunion and had a wild weekend. My then-wife wasn’t happy when she found out, though.

Float some

Posted on 24/February/2023 by John McCrarey

I took a pleasant stroll out to Baloy Beach yesterday afternoon and visited the newly reopened Kokomo’s Floating Bar. It’s been almost two years since I was last aboard. The floater was heavily damaged in a typhoon last year, and I’ve watched it being slowly rebuilt on the beach these past few months.

***On the raft en route to the floater***

***Welcome aboard! The most crowded I’ve ever seen it. I think many*** ***folks have been missing the unique and relaxing experience of imbibing on the water.***

I stayed for three drinks soaking up the ambiance. A newly hired waitress sat beside me, and I quenched her thirst as well. Honestly, the waitresses on board weren’t all that attractive, but mine was friendly and sweet. I think she’ll do fine. I’ll be back soon.

After the floater, I walked back into town and visited The Green Room. I had a coupon to expend before its expiration date. Had some food from Sit-n-Bull brought over for me and my “girlfriends,” too. Then I finished things off at Wet Spot and spent a little time with the cuddly dancer I took home for Valentine’s. She invited two of her friends over and asked me to buy them drinks, and I did although I don’t like being asked, I prefer to offer. And then, as I was paying my tab, they all disappeared without even a goodbye or a thank you. That’s just fucking rude. Needless to say, I will not be so generous the next time we meet.

It’s SOB Friday, and tonight’s event will be at Alaska Club. I invited Mary to join me, and she accepted. We’ll be meeting up at Mango’s for some dinner before the show. She’s already dropped some hints about becoming my girlfriend, and I told her let’s take our time and see what happens. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I have come to enjoy my single life and the freedom that comes with it. I think I’d make a better Sugar Daddy than a boyfriend.

We’ll see what happens.

Dilly dally in the valley

Posted on 23/February/2023 by John McCrarey

Yesterday the Wednesday Walkers, all three of us, took a 9K stroll around the Naugsol valley. My lungs are still acting up, so my compadres accommodated me with a mostly flat trail. It was a beautiful day yesterday, and I think we all enjoyed it. I took a shitload of pictures, and here they are:

***Charles and Jim joined me in the endeavor***

***Heading out to the valley via Alta Vista***

***Over the bridge…yes, the kids are hungry for cookies***

***Green acres is the place to be, farm living is the life for me…***

***…land stretching out so far and wide…***

***…keep Barretto, just give me that countryside.***

***Rice is nice, but it does tend to flood the trail…that’s okay; we found some high ground to go around it.***

***It’s a crap picture, but this tree caught my eye for some reason***

***I guess I should have zoomed…it’s harvest time in this field, and they were using an actual harvesting tractor…rarely seen in these parts where labor is mainly done by hand.***

***Saying hello to one of the farm workers***

***I guess the theme for the day was about valley dwellers***

***Completing the circle around the valley***

***Is the chicken dead yet? In all my life, I’ve never seen a chicken burger served quite like this.***

My evening hours were filled with the feeding at Hideaway (chicken and pork) and some time at Whiskey Girl on the way home.

***Facebook shared this memory of Justin’s first visit to Itaewon thirteen years ago.***

Joshua wound up having to go to the Cebu consulate to get his visa processed. Apparently, the Korean embassy in Manila is currently backlogged, and he would have had to wait two more weeks. He rented a scooter in Cebu, has been exploring the island, and appears to be enjoying himself.

Rumor has it the floating bar on Baloy has now opened, and I’m going to venture out that way this afternoon to find out for myself. See you here tomorrow.

Ever hear of the First Amendment?

Posted on 23/February/2023 by John McCrarey

Opening my memory box of stuff I wrote as a teenager/young man made me think I needed to preserve it for eternity on the internet. So, I will periodically grab something out of the box and publish it here. Not saying it’s good or that I am particularly proud of it, but I cared enough to write it then, so I am going to share it here now. Today’s entry is an editorial I wrote in 1972 for my high school newspaper. I was the Executive Editor.

Do you believe in free speech? Do you believe you should be able to read what you want? Well, that’s tough luck, baby. You see, friend, you are a member of the WHS student body, and so automatically, these rights are revoked.

In case you haven’t noticed, the editorials have been rather weak in our school paper. Why? Big Brother (the administration) doesn’t like to be given bad print, and so everything that disagrees with their opinions is promptly removed from the paper (I had to sneak this in). It’s sorta like a Russian newspaper; they print what makes them look good and burn the rest.

What can be done about this great injustice? Sorry people, but nothing at all. You see, some things are too big for a student to overcome.

Now, at least, you are aware, and being aware is where it’s at. Now you know what the administration is pulling off, which means you can no longer be intimidated.

Maybe someday something will be done; maybe someday we’ll be able to say what we feel. But today, all we can do is dream of and hope for that day.

***The reminder I found in my memory box. Typewritten, which saved the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors for eternity. Heh, some things never change, I guess.***

***The newspaper I edited during my senior year.***

As I recall, I had written an editorial entitled “Our Gestapo” criticizing the campus police for their overbearing enforcement of the rules. Our journalism advisor got called on the carpet for allowing such nonsense to be published and required that one of the vice-principals review and approve all future editorials. I can’t remember what happened after I wrote the above, but I didn’t get fired or silenced.

***And I continued to express unpopular opinions–like supporting legalizing marijuana.***

Those days of being an aspiring journalist are a Long Time Gone now.

A 50-50 proposition

Posted on 22/February/2023 by John McCrarey

Yesterday, I got together with Mary, the young woman I’ve been chatting with, for the first time. I had once again suggested we meet at John’s place, but after further discussion, she convinced me that coming to my house was the best option. Mary told me she would finish school at 3:00 and message me when she was departing. I had an errand to run in town, so I figured I would camp out at IDM and wait there to hear from her so we could catch a trike together. It was after 4:00 when she finally messaged me that she was in a Jeepney and on her way. I hadn’t realized that she was going all the way home to Olongapo after school. I paid my tab, grabbed a trike, and waited for her at the entrance to Alta Vista. And then there she was, and we headed up into the hills together for the first time.

This meeting was a milestone in many respects, but I couldn’t help but consider the elephant in the room–our age gap. When I was fifty years old, the significant life-changing event of my move to Korea occurred. Nothing has ever been the same since. Also, when I was fifty, another significant thing happened: Mary was born. Yeah, kind of hard to wrap your mind around the fact that Mary is fifty years younger than me. Anyway, it is what it is.

So, we arrived at my place, and I introduced Mary to my helper and my dogs; then, we sat out on my patio and took in the bay views. We talked about her family, and she showed me pictures of some of her African-American relatives. Of course, that doesn’t matter to me at all, but she seems proud to have some foreigner in her bloodline. And no, she looks totally Filipina if you are wondering about any physical manifestations. She also showed me some pictures of awards she won in school, telling me she has always been academically near the top of her class. I asked her what some of her favorite subjects were, and she said she enjoyed writing, especially poems. Wow! I grabbed my box of high school memories and showed her the crap I used to write at her age, well, a little younger than that–I graduated at seventeen. She read a couple but didn’t seem all that impressed. Go figure.

And yes, there were some generation gap moments as well. Mary spent a lot of time on her phone, including playing songs she liked and singing along. Nothing wrong with that, but it distracted from the getting-to-know-you phase somewhat. So, I went back inside and finished preparing a simple dinner: meatballs in the crockpot, brussels sprouts, and garlic bread.

We sat, ate, and talked some more, and then Mary suggested we go to the bedroom. She gave me a massage, we cuddled and kissed a little, and then I asked if I could do anything for her. “Up to you,” she responded. And so I took it from there.

It was dark when we were done, but Mary carries a combination flashlight/taser, and so we made it safely back down to the highway, where she caught a Jeep for home. I had a couple of beers at Whiskey Girl, then triked back to the house.

So, there is something special about Mary. But I’m not so foolish as to believe this will ever be a boyfriend/girlfriend love relationship. I do enjoy her company, and perhaps I can play a role in her life that will prove beneficial to her future. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Perhaps she feels the same way–I just now got a message asking if I wanted her to come over today for another “massage.” I had to decline because it is feeding day at Hideaway. And also, because I am 67 years old and don’t have an “everyday” energy level, once a week suits me just fine. I think I might invite her to join me at the SOB on Friday night, though. We’ll see.

In other news, John Kim posted an update on his medical condition:

I am finally out of hospital.

After 2 weeks of hospitalization, I just got out. I must thank you all for support. I don’t even know how to thank you all for support. I was deeply touched.

Frankly speaking, I was actually getting ready to go. Kidney doesn’t get better and heart disease doesn’t really help the situation. I was dying, and I was ready but couldn’t bear the pain. As a part of edema symptom, my testicles expended to almost 8 times. I couldn’t breathe, sleep or sit. I had water in my chest, my legs were so swollen they started leak. I weigh 87kg but I went up to 120kg because of water build up inside my body. My hemoglobin level was less than 50% which people start going into shock.

I got admitted to the hospital and I had blood transfusion of 4 pints, had 7 sessions of dialysis and I was able get rid of most of swollen part of my body. Now, I have to commute to dialysis center 3 times a week but I feel no pain and breathe good.

You guys support really gave me the hope and gave me the reason to live. Thanks for saving my life.

That’s good news overall. I’d been worried we were going to lose a pillar of our community. Stay strong, John!

A great valley walk with two other members of the Wednesday group; I’ll post pics of that and an update on any other shenanigans I get involved in tonight. Till then.

Go your own way

Posted on 21/February/2023 by John McCrarey

That’s what I do. Especially when the Hare is Vienna Sausage, the trail is 9K, and it is raining. Now, I understand there was a shorter version of the trail, but since the Hare couldn’t be bothered to come to the starting point to give guidance and answer questions, I wasn’t sure. And, to be frank, I don’t trust this Hare with my personal safety.

I intended to follow the trail as far as it made sense to do so, then find my own way from there. I was surprised that NONE of the usual “sane” group of Hashers were there at the start. Since I’m slow and stop to take photos, I was soon bringing up the rear. Well, there was one other guy behind me. I intended to keep within shouting distance of the group in front of me, but that proved impossible because the guy behind me kept asking me to wait for him. Alright, I wasn’t going to leave him alone out there; I hate that when it happens to me. Once we came down from the first hill climb, I decided to make a flat walk back to the On-Home at Blue Butterfly.

***My short version was 5.2K, including about 2K of the Hare’s trail.***

***A light rain was falling for most of the trek***

***It had been a while since I’d taken this route.***

***The part of the Hare’s trail I did wasn’t bad.***

***The first hill involved some fallen bamboo to navigate through***

**A nice Easter mountain view on the way back down**

Once we hit the valley, the Hare’s trail went right, and I turned left. The slowpoke came with me.

***We walked past my hoped-for future house.***

***I plopped my ass down at the On-Home and stayed there. Yep, I just wasn’t in the mood to participate in the Hash circle when it started inside.***

***One of the Blue Butterfly waitresses kept me company. Once again, she knew my name, and I didn’t know hers. That happens everywhere I go, it seems.***

I didn’t socialize with the Hashers much after the Hash, either. I got some takeout grub from Sit-n-Bull and was home by 7:30. Just one of those nights, I guess.

***Pretty much, at least since I retired and moved here.***

***But I’m still alive and making the best of it.***

Tonight I’m meeting Mary and hoping for the best. I’ll let y’all know how it goes tomorrow.

You can go your own way
Go your own way
You can call it another lonely day
You can go your own way
Go your own way

Comings and goings

Posted on 20/February/2023 by John McCrarey

Made it back to Barretto safe and sound. I let Justin use my printer to prepare some forms for Korean immigration. The nephews headed to their hotel to prepare for departure early this morning, and we agreed to meet up at Hideaway around 4 p.m. and then go next door to Arizona for the annual Beach Bash Beauty Paegent.

When they arrived, Josh bought some lady drinks, and then the group went outside to the smoking area to indulge in cigars. I had food for the Sunday feeding delivered from the Jewel Cafe (a chicken breast for Joy, quesadillas, and chicken wings for the others). I brought ChocoPies and Orea cookies for dessert. I did bake a batch of brownies but didn’t share them with the group. Last week a waitress named Anna told me that her daughter loves my brownies and always asks for them. Anna brings her portion home for her, and the daughter likes to take them to school for her friends to also enjoy. When Anna told me that, I thought to myself, damn, that’s stretching a couple of brownies a long way. So, I gave Anna the whole tray last night and said these are for your daughter. I was surprised when her daughter came to pick them up and thank me.

***You are welcome! I hope you and your friends enjoy them!***

I headed out to Arizona early to try and secure some decent seats, and the nephews followed later with a female entourage. This week I found myself shaking my head at Josh’s touristy “two-week millionaire” behavior. Still, in all fairness, he is on a vacation of sorts, and I probably engaged in similar behavior before I learned the facts of life here.

***The beach where the Bash was held at the Arizona resort.***

***The stage is set for the beauty pageant,*** ***and Daddy Dave serves as the MC.***

***Bring out the girls! There were eleven contestants last night.***

***This is the only contestant I recognized–she works at The Green Room. I’m not a fan of tattoos, but to ruin that perfectly fine ass with all that ink is a travesty.***

***Not a good shot, but this was an impressive costume.***

***I wouldn’t mind getting caught up in her net.***

***I’m unsure who ultimately won; I left before the judging was completed. My favorite was #5 (counting from the right side).***

Joy dropped by near the show’s end after she finished her shift at Hideaway. I’d hit my limit by this point and was ready to head home. I asked if she wanted to join me, and she accepted.

***Does a smoothie count as dessert? I made a batch so Joy could have a taste, and she said it was good.***

It was quite nice having a snuggle partner throughout the night. I made some banana-walnut muffins for breakfast–Joy’s favorite. I walked her down to the highway to catch a trike; then, I did a Baloy Beach walk to get in some steps before the Hash this afternoon.

***The floating bar is now anchored offshore, and it appears to be fully equipped now. I expect it will be open by the weekend, if not beforehand.***

In other news, my chats with Mary have continued, and she is still impressing the hell out of me with her sharp mind, wit, and humor. We confirmed another attempt at meeting in person for tomorrow.

I asked her if that was her niece. She did a “LOL” and said, “that’s me!”. I told her you look like you are fifteen. She laughed again and, a few minutes later, sent me a picture of her birth certificate confirming that she was of legal age. Turns out we only have a fifty-year age gap (she turns nineteen in November). That’s a stretch even for me.

We talked some about her future plans, and she wants to go to college if her finances allow it. It would be a shame to see her sharp mind go to waste. If she checks out after we’ve met, maybe I can help make the future she’s dreaming of happen. I’m too old to be her boyfriend, but I might enjoy being her Sugar Daddy. We’ll see.

What a life, huh?

Where’s the Alamo?

Posted on 19/February/2023 by John McCrarey

Sorry, wrong San Antonio. I’m in Zambales province, not Texas. Still, there is adventure to be found here, especially when you don’t know where you are going. That was the case when me and the nephews decided to hike to the beach from our riverside resort. Things didn’t go as planned, and rather than retreat, we fought on, following little-used paths that kept dead-ending in pond water. We pressed on, though, taking different trails leading in the general direction we wanted. Luckily, Justin had a Google maps app, and we could see we were getting closer to a road that led to the beach. Just when we thought we had found our way after crossing the water on three rickety old bamboo bridges, we discovered a fence that blocked our path. Our options were to go back from whence we’d come or wade through the pond and find a way around the fence. We chose the wet feet route and, in that way, successfully achieved our goal of walking on the beach. I’ve got a slew of photos from the hike I’ll share at the end of this post.

I’ve been to Monty’s a couple of times previously for Hash events, but it’s the first time I’ve spent the night here. My room is surprisingly spacious and much nicer than the one I had in Baguio last weekend for the same price (3500 pesos/$70).

It turns out, though, that I’m sharing the bathroom with a non-paying guest.

***He’s been hogging the toilet all morning. Bastard.***

I decided not to end his life, however. He was here before I was, after all.

***It’s a weird location for a resort. You drive a kilometer down a dirt road to get here.***

***It’s owned by an American named, you guessed it, Monty and his Filipina wife.***

***The bar area features a second floor affording heightened views.***

***But the views from the lower floor bar area suited me just fine.***

***Huts on the water if that’s your thing.***

***I took a nap after the hike but woke up in time to watch the sun go down.***

***Being down a long dirt road with no vehicle after dark limited our drinking options. We wisely chose to do our Saturday night imbibing at Monty’s.***

***Monty’s wife, Jenny, does the cooking and did a nice job on this Philly cheesesteak sandwich. Justin had a Rueben that he raved about. I don’t remember what Josh ate.***

Alright, to the hike, then. We arrived at noontime and, after checking in, decided to do a beach hike. I asked Jenny if the dirt road out front led to the beach, and she seemed to indicate that it did, so off we went.

After going down the dirt road a kilometer or so, we came to a house, and the man who lived there asked where we were going. We responded to the beach. He told us you couldn’t get there from here. Hmm. We weren’t sure if he was just being a prick or not, but we changed course and found a path going in the general direction we wanted.

***We found a different trail, and it led to the first of three bridges over the pond that was blocking our way.***

***They were rickety, and some of the bamboo footings were cracked and rotting.***

***The last bridge was much sturdier but led us to an insurmountable fence.***

***Fuck it; we’ll just wade through the water to get around the fence. Google Earth said there was a road on the other side.***

***And at last, we were on pavement again. Now to find the beach.***

***A paper tree in full bloom Actually, they wrap the mangoes in the paper, I assume to keep the birds and bugs away until it is time to harvest.***

***This resort was the last obstacle to overcome to reach the beach. The receptionist was very kind and accommodating, showing us the way to access the water.***

***Across this bridge, and we are there.***

***Wide sandy beaches that were much cleaner than the ones in Barretto***

***But damn, that thick and loose sand was a bitch to walk through. We did about 2K on the beach, and it felt like four.***

***It was slow going for Josh doing the sand walk, and we’d had enough of it for one day. Time to hit the road again.***

***Justin on the mean streets of Pandaquit.***

***Making our way to my favorite venue in San Antonio–the Car Wash bar and grill.***

***The pork steak in mushroom gravy was the daily special.***

***I got mine with a side of coleslaw.*** ***Heavy on the carrots and not all that flavorful***

***The Car Wash features a live band on Saturday night, but it was too far to walk in the dark from Monty’s***

***Two kilometers to walk after lunch to get back to Monty’s. I loved the way that tree had chosen to grow over the highway. It probably saved its life by doing so.***

You can Relive the adventure here if you’d like:

It was a good day with the nephews in that other San Antonio. Time to pack up and head on home to my Sunday night in Barretto. Justin and Josh are heading to Manila tomorrow to complete the visa process at the Korean embassy.

Bound for Pundaquit

Posted on 18/February/2023 by John McCrarey

***For the first time in the history of mankind, three McCrareys have blessed the Philippines with their presence.***

Pundaquit is the beach area of San Antonio that I’ve always enjoyed visiting. Looking forward to doing some walks on the sand and seeing some of the local sites. Only a couple of bars within walking distance, but the one at my hotel, Monty’s Riverside View Resort, will be just fine for my one-night stay.

***A little over an hour’s drive from Barretto.***

Had a nice time hanging with the nephews at last night’s SOB. I don’t recall anything of interest happening, though, which is probably for the best. Wet Spot won the contest, FWIW,

And that’s all I’ve got for now. But if you want the kind of post you’ve come to expect here at LTG, I came across this one from 2007 when I had my first-ever encounter with the Korean police. It was a strange night.

I’ll be back with something new tomorrow!

What wasn’t happening

Posted on 17/February/2023 by John McCrarey

One thing that wasn’t happening was that date I briefly mentioned in yesterday’s post. When Mary sent me a friend request on Facebook a couple of days ago, I noticed we only had one mutual FB friend–a woman who used to be my weekend cleaner. I accepted anyway, and we began chatting on Messenger. I was immediately impressed by her English fluency and her quick wit. One exchange I recall was me saying something like, “I do what I want, not what people tell me to do,” and she immediately responded with OMG! I think I know your astrological sign–those are traits of a Virgo. She’s right; that’s my sign. That led to discussions about religion and other deep topics. It’s been a rare experience for me to have more than surface conversations with the Filipinas I encounter.

Mary is going to school in Barretto and wanted to come to see me after class. I wasn’t comfortable with that since we hadn’t met in person yet. We chatted some more, and I discovered that my former helper was the girlfriend of Mary’s father. Mary also told me that her great-grandfather was a black man from the Navy days here. I mentioned that one of the gals in our Hash had an African-American father but didn’t give a name. Mary immediately said, “Wendy Burdette–that’s my aunt!” It is incredible how interconnected folks are here in my little town.

I also learned that Mary has a baby who will turn two later this year; of course, that seems to be the norm in this country. Still, I enjoy our chats enough to want to get to know her better, even if she is not a good fit for a long-term romantic relationship. Mary asked again about visiting me, and I suggested we meet for dinner instead. It turns out we have similar food favorites, so I wanted to introduce her to the menu at John’s place. Mary said she would finish at her school between three and four, change at her grandmother’s house (Mary doesn’t live in Barretto), and meet me there. I told her to message me thirty minutes beforehand because that’s how long it takes me to walk to John’s.

Around 2:30, we had a power outage here in Alta Vista. That always sucks, but it was especially frustrating because I hadn’t showered yet. No power = no water at my place. My helper was able to extract a pail from the water tank in the basement, and I washed up the best I was able with a bucket bath. Rather than sit around in a hot house, I headed out to IDM to await the message from Mary, arriving a little after three o’clock. I tried to drink slowly but was on my third gin and soda by 4:30. Mary finally messaged me that she had to cancel because her grandmother wasn’t feeling well and she needed to take of her. And that was that. I was disappointed but understanding.

Alright, I admit I saw a potential red flag. Today I checked with our mutual friend, and her story mostly checks out. I’ve chatted with Mary some more today, and I’m willing to give her another chance. In fact, she wanted to meet tomorrow, but I’ll be going to Pundaquit with the nephews (yes, Josh’s brother Justin arrived this morning) for the weekend. I jokingly invited Mary to come along, and she was asking what time we would return on Sunday, so I told her it was too soon for that and we would take some time to get to know one another first.

I’m not sure what I’m doing here. If it turns out that we have a connection and I feel that I can trust her, I’d consider playing the Sugar Daddy role. I know a guy who sponsored a young woman through college, and she, in turn, showed her appreciation by giving him a GFE (girlfriend experience). I used to see them around town, and there seemed to be genuine affection between them, even though the age difference and life goals were not in sync. She’s graduated now and is pursuing her career in Manila, and he feels satisfaction from making a meaningful difference in her life. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ll meet Mary first, then assess what role we may have to play together (if any) going forward.

After learning I wouldn’t be eating at John’s place after all, I went to Baloy Beach to visit Josh at his hotel, Johan’s. We did a Baloy bar crawl (Johan’s, DaKudo’s, McCoy, and Snackbar) then I called it a night.

***It looks like the floating bar will finally be open soon. I’m guessing next weekend.***

This morning I did an enjoyable stroll of almost 8K. Street walking, so I didn’t bother with many photos. But boats on the bay are always nice to see, right?

Justin and Josh will accompany me to the SOB tonight. That should be fun.

Back tomorrow with a full report.