If I knew you were coming I’d have baked a cake

I had it in my mind to bake a cake for the Hideaway girls and proceeded accordingly. Once all the ingredients were blended, poured into the cake pans, and popped into the oven, I set my phone alarm for 2:53–thirty-five minutes later. Except in a moment of Biden-like idiocy, I somehow set the timer for 3:53. I got busy blogging and didn’t notice the passing of time until it was too late. The cake was not exactly burned, but it was dry and hard. My pride would certainly not let me serve such a debacle of tastelessness. Oh, well, it happens. With scarily increasing frequency.

The girls had to settle for Oreo cookies to go with their Chook’s fried chicken. They didn’t seem to mind.

Bye-bye chicken leg
As sweet as a cookie

With my duties completed (and several beers downed) at Hideaway, I moved on back up the highway. I was thinking I’d pop into the new Mugshots bar, but it was closed. Not sure what’s up with that. Hard to believe the owner threw in the towel less than one month after opening. I’ll update when I learn more about the situation.

I made Cheap Charlies my second stop instead. I don’t go there as much these days. The bargirl there that is scamming her foreigner “boyfriend” or her husband (or both) ignored my presence, and I notice she has unfriended me on Facebook. That’s fine with me; her messages of “love” to that dumb fuck in the USA were disgusting to witness. Maybe she was afraid I was going to rat her out, but I would never do such a thing. That’s why I’m not using her name on the blog, either. It’s not my place to get involved–I’ll let Karma sort it out. I got a nice back rub and some company from my other two regulars, and hey, it’s cheaper to buy two girls drinks than it is three. Win-win!

When I departed CC, I wasn’t sure where I was going to go next, but I was thinking I’d visit somewhere I rarely frequent. Then on a whim, I decided to hit Sloppy Joes. As usual, I sat in the outdoor area, watching the world go by on the highway. I got good service from a cute waitress but no companionship. That’s fine too. A bit later, two other young ladies came out, and I assumed they were employees as well. They sat at the table next to me, and when I finished my beer and asked to pay my tab, the cute one in a short skirt encouraged me to stick around for a while and enjoy “the party.” Hmm, well, I still hadn’t hit my bedtime, and I couldn’t think of anything better to do, so I ordered another beer.

Then the two girls changed the music to something from this century and got up and danced together. Well, twerking would be more accurate. And that one in the short skirt was amazing. She could really shake that ass, but she was also doing full-leg splits to the floor like a gymnast. And then twerking from that position too. Naturally, that little skirt rode up, and I had a direct panty-shot view. It was the sexiest dance routine I think I’ve ever seen, and she was certainly more skilled than most of the bar dancers in town.

When she finished her routine, I got up to take a leak. When I returned, she was having a bit of a confrontation with a young woman who had driven up during my absence. It was a scene reminiscent of a jealous girlfriend trying to drag her man out of the bar. Hard to believe such a sexy gal who seemed to enjoy putting on a show for me could be lesbian. Maybe the other woman was her sister. Anyway, Miss sexy short skirt went out to the car with her friend or whomever it was. My waitress explained that the girl did not work at Sloppy Joe’s; she was just hanging out at the bar. A kind of weird end to my night, but I did rather enjoy it.

Well, I did have another weird thing occur–I heard from my Korean wife, something that rarely happens. She wanted some advice about someone she had met online. He claimed he was an American doctor in Iraq and couldn’t wire money from there to his daughter for her birthday. I advised her it was an obvious scam. But she told me that he sent her a copy of his American passport.

Well, the first two things that jumped out at me were that the signature (whatever it reads) doesn’t match the name of the passport. I also noted that the passport says it was issued in August 2022 and that it expires in August 2024. American passports are issued for ten-year periods.

Jee Yeun thanked me and blocked him. I hope she’s more careful about who she befriends in the future.

The other event in my day was the morning hike with the Wednesday Walkers group. We took a Jeepney out to Calapadayan (about 5K from Barretto). Our original plan was to do a short hill climb, then walk back to our little town. A wrong turn led to a much longer and steeper climb, and by the time we made it back down from the mountain, we were tuckered out, so took a Jeepney back home. Finished our adventure with lunch at John’s place.

Here are some photos from our journey:

The path we took Our original plan was to go between those peaks, then walk the back roads to Barretto.
At our 7/11 gathering spot
Rosemarie and Lydell from Snackbar joined us on our hike.
On the mean streets of Calapadayan
Monkeying around for the group shot
Leaving the gorilla in our midst
Something seemed off about this street sign.
The guys leading the pack couldn’t hear Scott’s warning that they had missed the turn.
At the gates of an abandoned water park. Now what do we do?
I’m sorry, but sliding out of a downed jetliner seems just a tad creepy to me.
And there was also a dinosaur in the woods. Anyway, the waterpark was now a pigsty (literally), and a woman came out to advise us we were not welcome on their private property. So, we headed out in a different direction.
A bridge crossing
We’ve got this in the bag
We had to keep walking to find out where the path would lead us.
Charles in his role as the candyman.
I got here first with the cookies, though!
There’s no turning back now
And up we go!
The conditions were jungle-like
But still, we plodded on
Youngsters like Lydell didn’t seem to have any issues with the climb. I heard a lot of bitching from some of the oldsters. Honestly, though, compared to last week’s stairway to heaven, this wasn’t so bad.
Just gotta keep on keepin’ on.
An uling (charcoal) “factory” on top of the mountain.
Made for a nice resting and regrouping timeout.
Alright then, let’s find our way down.
The view from here
Must be a male tree
On down
Almost there
Ah, solid ground!
Heading for the highway
Waiting for a Jeepney
Riding the Jeep back to Barretto
Some pool before lunch at John’s place (3rd-floor bar)
The view from John’s
My roast beef and cheddar sandwich with fries. Deliciosio!

I decree it to have been a good day!

This was a #1 hit song in 1950. You are welcome!

10 thoughts on “If I knew you were coming I’d have baked a cake

  1. Anyway, Miss sexy short skirt went out to the car with her friend or whomever it was.

    Spot the error!

    Must be a male tree

    I assume that was a scrote joke. Only female trees produce fruit.

    Exciting hike. That amusement park looks like the set of a horror movie.

    John’s sandwich looks great!

  2. Oh, yeah—about setting a timer: maybe use your phone’s countdown timer in the future. It may not be that different from setting a regular alarm, but you’ll be less likely to make that specific mistake.

  3. Presumably you mean ex Korean wife. It beggars belief how gullible people can be. The “dumb fuck” stateside being scammed by miss golden legs all the way up to her ass on some level enjoys the game. But I would, for no reason I could justifiably explain, have assumed your ex wife might be more compus mentis. Also, she is Korean. Surely it takes one to know one. And yet and withal getting scammed so readily is on another level an indication of current personal/romantic desperation, a situation you may or may not want to extract a little pleasure from.

  4. Dan,

    No, John is still technically married. He did not divorce his latest wife, although he contends that he is divorced “in his heart.” Personally, I think this makes it difficult for him to find a proper life partner in the Philippines, given the obvious legal issues, but he seems content with his current situation, and I think he gets some sort of tax benefit from still being married. I find the situation morally questionable at best, but how John lives his life is his business. Just shrug and accept the McCrarey way.

  5. Yes, in a strictly legal sense, I’m married to a woman who ended our relationship six years ago. She is the one who wanted the divorce, so to my mind, she’s the one who should file the papers. I have no motivation to do so at this point in time, but should my circumstances change, I’ll get a divorce back in the USA, where the marriage took place. I don’t consider myself to be married by any definition other than the government’s imposition. How does a Muslim divorce work? You just say, “I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you.” Okay, I repeated that out loud as I typed it, so now I self-identify as a divorced Muslim. Praise be to Allah!

    But seriously, my legally married state has had no impact on my finding a partner here. I don’t expect I’ll ever feel the need to marry again, and certainly have not met any Filipina woman who had any desire to spend her life with me. If I ever find myself in that kind of relationship, my marriage will be the least of my worries.

  6. Dan, I have no idea of how they met or the circumstances of their online relationship; she just said he was an Instagram “friend.” I was a little surprised by her gullibility as well, but I guess she’s the type who assumes people she meets have good intentions. I hadn’t heard from her in months, so it was strange that she came to me with this, but I’m glad she did. I hate scammers with a passion.

    As Kevin noted, she is technically not my ex-wife in a legal sense, but we’ve been apart for over six years now and I don’t consider myself married.

  7. Kev, In the universe of grammatical errors, that was a relatively minor mistake, whoever it was. Especially for me. I read right over “whomever,” and Grammarly didn’t catch it either for some reason.

    Well, I’m not a biologist, but that tree has balls, even if it does identify as female.

    Oh, and thanks for the tip on using the countdown timer…I honestly was not aware of that option previously. Yeah, that will work much better for me.

  8. Quite the interesting and eventful day in your small corner of the world. LOL

    Some pretty stupid mistakes in the “passport”. In addition, expiry date is one day before issuance date (i.e. issued on 23 August, expiry will be on 22 August). Anyways, I guess that people just want to think that people are good.

    I am guessing that the woman who shooed you away from the former amusement part was probably squatting. Weird that someone who could purchase what appears to be a pretty large piece of land would live in relative poverty. But I guess she could be the caretaker or something like that.

    Re: the dancers in Sloppy Joes – maybe you should sponsor a dance troupe for the S.O.B contests. I am sure you could come top with a catchy name for the group.

  9. I’d prefer to make the Sloppy Joe gal my private dancer! 🙂

    Yeah, I’m sure it was squatter rights the woman was defending…we stole this land first; now leave! They did have several pigs living with them.

  10. Kevin, John
    Thanks. Think that was more clarification than I was deserving of. Not sure how a limbo state is of advantage for either party unless, materially, as per, it would favor the female plaintiff in a claim for monies against the male. You might want to check that out, though it looks like she would almost literally have to pursue you to the ends of the earth. Just fearful that one day you revisit Korea for unrelated reasons and find yourself wrest into handcuffs soon as you slide through immigration. Sure such a precedent has already been set.

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