Yesterday was a bad day for me. Not as bad as it was for those folks depicted above, but pretty much fucked just the same.

So rock me momma like a wagon wheel
Rock me momma any way you feel
Hey, momma rock me
Hey, rock me momma like the wind and the rain
Rock me momma like a south bound train
Hey, momma rock me

Things started going bad when I first woke up for a piss at 0200. For some unfathomable reason Darius Rucker’s Wagon Wheel was playing in my head and I couldn’t turn it off. I mean, I like the song just fine but it’s hard to sleep with that verse playing endlessly over and over in your brain. I finally had to get up, go downstairs, and grab my Bluetooth headphones and phone. Then I picked a Spotify easy-listening playlist, turned the volume to low, and laid back down. I succeeded in drowning out Rucker and actually enjoyed some unfamiliar tunes until slumber overtook me again. What a night.

After the morning dog walk, I headed down to the ATM at the 7/11 store but the machine was out of service. So I moseyed on across town to the other BPI ATM (BPI is the only bank that allows 20,000 peso withdrawals) and it was down as well. Ah well, that’s how it goes sometimes. I had enough cash in my wallet to carry me through the day so no big deal.

Then I came back home and fired Gina, one of my helpers. She was in the yard and I greeted her but she ignored me. That seemed weird. I sat down at the computer and she walked by and I asked her what was going on and she just glared at me and kept walking. And then I lost it. I don’t get screaming and throwing shit mad too often, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be treated rudely and disrespected in my own house, by the hired help no less. She went upstairs to her room while I ranted and raved then I screamed up at her to pack her shit and get out.

A little background: A couple of days ago I heard Gina coughing in the middle of the night. The next morning I teasingly told her that sounded like a dry cough and she better go get tested for COVID. Apparently (according to my other helper) she was offended by my joke. But rather than say something to me about it she did the silent treatment routine. Well, there’s actually a word in Tagalog for this kind of behavior: tampo. It loosely translates to sulking, but it is more intense than that when engaged in by a Filipina. It is said that once a Filipina goes tampo she won’t speak to you for three days. Then she comes back like nothing ever happened. Well, I won’t tolerate that shit from a girlfriend. I sure as hell don’t want a tampo employee around.

Anyway, she left but didn’t take all her stuff. Didn’t come home last night either. I told my other helper to make sure she gets the key back, otherwise, I’ll have to change the locks. What a pain in the ass.

Earlier this month I wrote about a married woman I know. Fun to be around and chat with, but safely unavailable. She came by the house yesterday to talk with my helper Teri. She was crying and telling about how her husband wanted to walk away from the marriage and that he has withdrawn all support from her. Pretty sad actually, especially in light of how loyal she’s been to him despite his (alleged) transgressions and shortcomings. My advice to her was she should look forward, not back. Her husband has actually done her a favor–giving her a chance to pursue a new and hopefully happier future. To have time with her kids and family back in the province. And now Judy and I are chatting on messenger. Hoo boy, I’m going to have to be careful. Adultery is a crime in this country. Stay tuned.

Played darts again last night. Maybe slightly better than last week but that ain’t saying much. Didn’t place, but wasn’t first out either. I don’t know, I’m still trying to decide if I’m even having fun at it anymore. Of course, the alternative is sitting at Mangos alone, and watching the water hit the beach. I probably need a couple of nights of being more social than that.

I did enjoy a few beers at Mangos after darts last night though.

Stopped into 7/11 on the way home and the ATM was back online. Punched in my transaction, everything seemed normal, heard the whirring sound it makes when cash is being dispensed, then nothing came out. What the hell? The helpful clerk then told me that the machine had run out of money. A fitting ending to my crappy day I suppose.

Today has gone much better so far. I grilled up my USDA ribeyes for breakfast.

On my morning hike, I visited the BPI ATM on the far side of town. It was online and best of all it actually dispensed the 20,000 pesos I requested. My luck has indeed changed.

As I continued to walk I saw this interesting view up near the top of the mountain (as seen from the highway, I wasn’t climbing):

My masseuse should be arriving shortly so let me wind down this long-ass post with a little political humor.

Alright, here’s Darius singing Wagon Wheel. Play it at your own risk. Warning: It might get stuck in your head!

UPDATE: Gina came home just now. Apologized for her behavior and asked for her job back. I told her I’d give her a second and last chance. I also said that in the future if she has a problem with something I say or do, just let me know. We’ll see.

UPDATE II: Judy sent me a message asking if I wanted to meet her somewhere “secret” to get to know one another better. Uh oh. I told her better to wait until her situation is resolved. There will be plenty of time to decide next steps then. Jesus. What the fuck am I doing?

Better than a poke in the eye I guess though. Anyway, near the end of today’s hike, I got distracted, turned my head for a moment, then turned back just in time to step full-throttle into a low hanging branch. Hurt like a dickens but not much damage.

That is just about all I did today was hike.

10K all together. We walked the ridgeline all the way out to the “German’s house” then turned around and headed back. It’s called the German’s house because some German guy lives there at least part-time. It is without a doubt as far out as you can get and as high up as it goes. It is nearly total isolation. The house is behind a wall and I’ve never seen it close up. It is visible sometimes from Barretto so it must be pretty damn big. There is a dirt road up from Olongapo you could drive if you have a 4×4. Maybe not during rainy season though. Today I saw a couple of downed trees that would make passage difficult. I personally could not live that way. Too far from the beer joints!

Simon went home and Jim and I went to Cheap Charlies for some rehydration. Then the skies opened up and the rain poured down. I tried to wait it out but had a delivery coming to the house. Wound up taking a trike home.

I might have something of more substance to say soon. Hey, it could happen!

More or less.

Started off my morning firing up the oven and baking up a batch of these:

As is my wont, I posted the above photo on my Facebook page. Shortly thereafter I got a message from a Filipina friend wanting to know the ingredients and where to find them. So, I had to fess up:

After my muffin breakfast, I walked the dogs then I walked myself. Kept it flat again because I’m uncomfortable up in the mountains alone these days. I did go relatively rural though.

Not much else happening. I’m actually going to practice some darts here at the house this afternoon. I’d love to get the passion for the game back, but my pride won’t take throwing the way I have been. So my ego dictates that I put forth some effort. I’ll let y’all know how that works out.

After dart practice? Hmm, I don’t know.

What am I forgetting? Ah, now I remember:

That’s all for now.

Or something like that.

Anyway, the price I paid last night for not practicing darts and playing only once a week was pretty much shame and humiliation. Players I used to dominate were making me look like a chump. My partner Espie was throwing like a champ and that actually made me feel worse about my incompetent performance. She was good, but not good enough to carry my sorry ass higher than a third-place finish. Being embarrassed like that will either provide me the needed motivation to start practicing an hour a day or convince me to just give up the game once and for all. We shall see.

A few months back I wrote about, Catherine, the dancer from Wet Spot I ran into on the street. I helped her out with some food money and we eventually became friends on Facebook. I’ve already confessed to engaging in a purely transactional encounter with her on a couple of occasions. Kind of a win-win–I got to be with a hot 25-year-old and she got the pesos she was craving. The problem was she wanted the pesos a lot more often than I wanted her. She had a sad story of desperation for almost every day of the week. I eventually had to block her. Last time I saw her was right after the bars had reopened. She was back in Wet Spot entertaining a customer. I was so relieved to see her doing what she does best.

This morning I was chatting with a mutual friend and she told me that Catherine was arrested and is now in jail on drug charges. I admit I was surprised to hear that but it got me thinking that maybe all those money requests were for something other than food. And I’ll be damned if Catherine didn’t send me a message an hour later begging me for money to buy food in jail (I’m told prisoners only get rice rations). Well, as bad as I feel for her I didn’t respond to her message. There is no way I’m going to associate with someone involved in drugs in this country. That’s serious shit. The cops have the President’s permission to shoot first and ask questions later with drug suspects. I don’t even want my name on the jailhouse log as a visitor. I will talk with the Wet Spot owner and see if he is taking donations on her behalf. Damn, I feel bad for her throwing away her life like that. I guess it is not all that unusual for prostitutes to get involved in drugs, but you do reap what you sow. Or so I’ve heard.

I guess in many ways I’ve been fortunate to avoid the negative consequences that flow from my own sometimes illicit sexual behavior. I just don’t want to push my luck.

Finalized the trail for tomorrow’s Hash with my co-Hare, Blow My Pipe. We added another down and up to get the distance up to a more respectable 5K. The three climbs are all only moderately difficult (I’m no Günter after all) but I think it will be a satisfying hike for most of the Hashers. A lot of the trail is over the familiar My Bitch terrain but the section we added today should be new for most of the kennel. Anyway, I’ll go out again in the morning and re-hike the trail to make sure that all of our trail markings are intact after the anticipated rainfall tonight.

And that’s my story for today. I better shower up, it’s almost beer o’clock!

Finally made it out to Sit-n-Bull for the pulled pork I’ve been craving. Now, SnB always has several daily specials and to my surprise, the pulled pork sandwich with a side of coleslaw was one of them. To my chagrin, it had been crossed out. So I asked my waitress what was up with that and she told me “out of stock”. My words oozed with disappointment when I said “how do you run out of pulled pork?”. Then she explained that they had run out of the buns the PP is served on. Ah, no problem I told her. I just want the meat. She then asked if I wanted it on regular bread and I said not really, just the meat is fine. The waitress gave me a look and I guess she assessed my hunger because she told me “there isn’t that much”. Then I had a brainfart. “Do you have the large pulled pork sandwich from the regular menu?” Yes, sir. Then bring me that!

Then it was off to Mangos for some beers and flirting with Gee ocean views. Both were nice.

In other news, they arrested the culprits in the murder of David Light on Baloy beach.

Damn, there was something else I wanted to say in the post but I don’t remember what it was. Passalacqua & Associates lawyers can be hired to deal with criminal cases.

Reckon I’ll take a hike and then get ready for some darts this afternoon. That’s the problem with being retired, you never get a day off!

I’m not really looking for love anymore but I still have an active account at Date in Asia (DIA). I usually check it once a day to see if any new lovelies are showing any interest in a gwapo guy like me. That’s usually a negative result. I also have my search parameters set for Olongapo girls only. A long-distance romance in these troubled times is pretty much pointless. A couple of days ago I came across a new member who was pretty cute and 33 years old. Her name is Jane. I gave her a “like” and we exchanged a couple of introductory messages then she sent me her Skype login info so we could communicate there.

I added her and sent a Skype message but didn’t hear back. No big deal to me. Then yesterday I noticed I had something on Skype so I opened it up to find Jane had finally gotten around to answer me with a simple “how are you?” I gave her the standard fine thanks and asked where she was. “Batangas” was the reply. Well, Batangas is way down south of Manila. I asked her why her DIA profile said she lived in Olongapo and she simply said “I’m in Batangas now”. And then she blew me away (not literally) with this question:

Do you like ladyboy? (transgender). Um. I responded that I’m not gay but she is a fine-looking gal. Honestly, I usually can tell immediately when I encounter a “girl with something extra”. Bakla is the name Filipinos use. I was confused so I went back to Jane’s DIA profile for another look at her pictures. I’m thinking no way she’s a bakla. So, I send Jane a DIA message telling her I’m confused about what she told me on Skype. She responded a bit later saying “what are you talking about? We haven’t chatted on Skype.”

Oh shit. I added the wrong Jane Rodriguez on Skype. Yeah, I’m that stupid sometimes. The right Jane did add me to her Skype and we chatted once. She lives here in Barretto. Haven’t heard back from her and probably won’t bother trying to contact her again anyway. It would likely just lead to more transactional trouble.

But wait, there’s more! I mentioned earlier that my friend Gee, the Mangos manager, was involved in some charity projects. I had offered to donate some cash through her but she preferred I meet the people involved and donate personally. So last night I’m at Mangos as usual and Gee invites me over to meet some friends of hers–from the Olongapo police department. We did our introductions (I made sure I followed all the COVID protocols–mask, social distance, etc.). Turns out they are involved in helping some needy folks in their jurisdiction. The guy cop told me they had encountered one individual in desperate need of a wheelchair. I was happy to help out with a little cash.

After that meeting was complete I returned to my beachside perch and my cold beer. Lots of local kids were having fun on the beach.

And as I suspected would happen, before long a sandclod war broke out. It seemed to me that it ended in a draw. Both sides were laughing anyway.

Then I settled in to enjoy my dinner.

I’ll be the Hare for Monday’s Hash, so today the hiking group helped me scout out a trail.

Life is good. I’m going to try and keep it that way.

More of the same around here. But that’s not to say things are boring. I seem to be cursed to live in interesting times. Well, that’s an overstatement. Drama isn’t necessarily all that interesting.

I did have to inwardly smile at the ridiculousness of it all, in a sad way. Last night the ex was texting me about how sad she is but she knows I’m happy with Janey. I didn’t have the energy to argue the point with her. This morning I hear from Janey and she wishes me much happiness with my ex. I have no idea where these ideas are coming from. I responded: “My ex wants me to be happy with you. You want me to be happy with my ex. I think it is time for me to contact Mary again.” That last part was a joke, but Janey said that’s a good idea. I thanked her for advice and left it at that.

Today was hiking day with the Wednesday walking group, old guy edition. Simon (Leech My Nuggets) wanted to join us and I warned him we’d be taking it easy today as Scott is recovering from an illness. Simon was okay with that, so off we all went. About 2K in, Scott had to bail as he wasn’t as recovered as he thought. That left me without an excuse to keep it easy, so Simon led us up a pretty tough climb. In his defense, he was looking for a different trail that would have been easier, but couldn’t find it. Anyway, it was a good and hard workout and I survived. Works for me!

I was lazy with the camera today. Sorry about that.

In other news, I haven’t lost my sense of humor:

Woo Hoo! Curfew is extended until 9:30 starting today. That means I won’t have to rush around to get my requisite drinking done. Today I will enjoy a leisurely dinner alone at Sit-n-Bull before heading out to my bar of choice for some beer-fueled introspection. Hey, it’s what I do.

How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold

How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no

Especially people who care about strangers
Who care about evil and social injustice
Do you only care about the bleeding crowd
How about a needy friend
I need a friend

I don’t spend much time pondering the inevitability of the inevitable. Still, according to attorneys for long term care planning, as one becomes officially elderly the diminished nature of the potential future is harder to ignore. That’s especially true when people around you start dying. Two deaths (that I know about) here in Barretto this week. They weren’t people I knew well enough to even be called acquaintances, just a couple of guys I’d see around occasionally.

Philip was an Aussie somewhere around my age. We didn’t normally frequent the same bars, but during lockdown when “Gomans” was about the only game in town, I’d see him in there nursing a beer and smoking a cigarette. Always alone. Kinda like me in that regard. I heard he’d been injured in a trike accident but I understand his actual cause of death was from some underlying medical condition. When the manager at Mangos talked to me about his death she was upset because he was still in the morgue–no one had arranged a funeral for him. Well, I guess that might be sad to die friendless but as I told her, Philip no longer cares.

I just learned of the second death yesterday. A guy named David was murdered (stabbed to death) out on Baloy beach where he resided.

I’ve walked by his place many times over my years here and he was often sitting alone outside wearing shorts with no shirt. Tall and skinny. I’m told he was 75 years old. I never spoke to him as I passed by but I often wondered what his story might be. I figured he was probably some pensioner barely getting by, but still wanted to live the dream in the Philippines. Turns out he used to be an actor and had been living here since the 1970’s! Rest in Peace, Mr. Light. A sad end to a long and interesting life. I wish I had sat with you and shot the shit. But that’s just not my way.

Yesterday’s Hash didn’t kill me, so I’ve got that going for me. It was actually a pretty nice trail with the exception of a couple of spots coming down from the mountain. One place was so steep I finally just sat and slid down on my ass. Another I literally had to climb down some tree roots. Ah, the challenges that we overcome are the ones that provide the most satisfaction in life, right?

Welp, I’m alive and kicking. Let’s hope I can keep it that way. And no, the thought that bad things come in threes never entered my mind. Until now. Damn it!

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

–John Donne

We are now into the “Ber” months as they are called in the Philippines. That means it is officially the Christmas season. I haven’t been to the mall yet this month, but I am quite certain they are playing yuletide carols and have the big signs up counting down the days until the celebration of the Savior’s birth.

It’s Hash Monday so this is going to be a rushed post, but hopefully better than nothing. I guess I might as well start with a tale about a woman I’m rather fond of. I’ve actually known her for several months now and she is a joy to be around. Always laughing and happy, quick to offer words of encouragement, and pretty damn attractive–especially for a woman in her mid-40s. Anyway, she is married to a foreigner and is not the type who would ever cheat (she’s one of those Pentecostals). We have done some very light and good-natured flirting, but it is all in jest. She’s friends with my helpers but I probably only see her briefly once a week or so.

A few days ago (let’s call her Judy) came by and wanted to talk to me. That was a first. All of our previous communication had been brief and only in passing. So, we sat at the kitchen table (my helper also joined us) and chatted. I learned she had two grown children from an earlier relationship and that the father had recently died. She also had some land in her home province of Visaya that she hoped to develop someday. Then she talked a bit about her husband and it wasn’t pretty. He wants nothing to do with her family, including her children. That means he contributes nothing towards their support and even worse, refuses to allow Judy to visit them or have them visit her. She told me he is a very jealous man and that he has hired private detectives to follow her around. He gives her 1000 pesos ($20) a week for her personal use.

None of that is any of my business of course. Still, I asked why she puts up with that kind of demeaning behavior and she just shrugged it off. He was her husband and it was her duty as a wife to stand by his side. I guess that is taking for better or worse to the extreme. And then we got down to business. She mentioned that she knew I was helping out some people and that she respected that. Turns out, Judy’s daughter in Manila wants to continue her college education but lacks the funds to do so. Bottom line, 15,000 pesos ($300) would get her back in school. As I say, I really think Judy is a great gal and I am quite sure that the money request is for the stated purpose. So I agreed to help her out.

Not to worry, I’m not going there. Although I did go so far as to wonder what might have been. If I hadn’t delayed my move to the PI for those 8 years perhaps I would have met Judy before she was married. Ah well, as John Greenleaf Whittier said so long ago:

God pity them both! and pity us all,
Who vainly the dreams of youth recall;
For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: “It might have been!”

Moving on.

I went into the DiviMart the other day. I met all the requirements: temp check, hand sanitizer, mask, and face shield. As I entered the store, the guard stuck something on my shield. I didn’t look at it until I got back home, but it gave me a good laugh:

The 27th Anniversary of the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers is coming up next month. And that means ordering a brand new Hash shirt to commemorate the event. Here is this year’s design:

And now I need to go put on my Hash attire and get ready to roll on out of here. ON-ON!

Oh, I’m not sure who’s work this is, found it on Facebook. But I liked it:

When you love someone, you know in your heart that your love never died. You feel their presence in your heart, even if they are out of your life. Sometimes, we may not always get what we “want” in life, however, we will always get what we need in order to grow. We may not consciously ask for certain situations, but on a soul level, we brought them into our lives in order to heal, grow and learn what pure love is truly all about.

Can you understand that you have always done the best job you knew how to do at any particular time with the knowledge and level of growth you had at that time? Yes? Good! Now, you can extend that same understanding to the other person from your heart, and that is why you will not require them to say: “I’m sorry.” You will understand, and they will understand. It is that pure understanding that allows what may have bruised our ego to melt away. Once our fears and ego are out of the way, we truly can love purely. You will never have to say you’re sorry to someone you truly love that genuinely loves you. You will only have to be yourself – that is all you will ever need to do.

Today has been bizarre, even by my low standards. I need to get drunk and think about it take some time to process the events that occurred. Look forward to a post on my latest shit tomorrow.

Here are a few photos from my Friday hike, a little over 10K all told.

My head is spinning. I need to go out for some medication. Think I’ll see if they have what I need at Hot Zone.

Greetings! Busy day here but I’ll post more on that later. For now, a couple of photos from my Philippines life to tide you over.

Anyway, I’m making the best of things. Notwithstanding my bitching all the time I know I am indeed blessed.

Oh you can count me out of your triangle
I’m number three I’m too late to lie
And I don’t need heartache at all
I can’t stand the fall
And the moon just turned blue
Goodbye, goodbye
Little darlin’ the moon just turned blue
So baby goodbye