Down in the Bundok

Tuesday is supposed to be my day off from walking. It’s a whole other kind of excitement for me on grocery shopping day. This week things went a bit out of the norm though. To begin, my driver had a court appearance (no, I didn’t ask why) and couldn’t pick me up until 10:30. No big deal. Also, I had to go to the immigration office in Olongapo to renew my tourist visa for another 60 days. That went fine. Then it was off for the groceries.

I wanted to hit Pure Gold, another grocery store on the old Navy base, first to see if they were stocking some of the things I can’t seem to get at Royal lately. I was pleasantly surprised to find the coveted frozen strawberries I hadn’t seen for months. Also got a few other hard to find items, then went to the old Royal store nearby for the rest of my shopping. Given the late start and detours, I wasn’t back home until 1:00 p.m.

When I checked my phone I found a message from H.I.V. asking if I was coming to the Bundok Hash he was hosting. Well, a couple of weeks ago I had signed up and never got a response. I figured it wasn’t happening. Then I heard it mentioned at Sunday’s COVID Hash so I emailed to ask what was going on and once again got no response. I sent another message on Monday and still got no answer. I just figured I wasn’t welcome. And now the Grand Master is asking me when I’m going to arrive? Well, fuck it. Changed clothes and headed out to Hot Zone a few minutes before it was time to hit the trail.

I paid my 3500 pesos ($70) and got ready to head out. Guenter was once again the Hare, but I was pretty familiar with the territory so wasn’t too worried about getting fucked over on a fucked up trail.

We started out on the beach…
I’m thinking, this is too easy for a Guenter trail…
It wasn’t even raining!
Ah, but of course. We had to do the crossing where the river enters the bay. I could have taken a shortcut to avoid the wet feet but wanted to be a good example of our out-of-town Hashers…
I did find a discarded mask amongst the flotsam on the beach…
We circled back around on the streets of Barretto and had a beer stop at the 3K mark. I stuck with water. I like walking and I like drinking but I try and keep those activities separate and distinct.

The second half of the hike was also slated to be 3K and it went up the mountain and on to the familiar My Bitch trail. Guenter’s trail went down to a creekbed/waterfall that I’d done once before and swore I’d never do again. But I knew a better way to go and that’s what I did.

A short but steep climb to the top.
These guys were both Hash virgins and were even slower than me. So I hung back to make sure they found their way. When we got to the intersection where my trail turned off I gave them fair warning about what was ahead of them on Guenter’s trail. They opted to stick with me instead. Smart guys!

Made it back to Hot Zone a little after 4 p.m. We had a circle and all the virgins had to wear a diaper on their head for the duration. Our food arrived promptly at 5:00, wings and potato salad from Sit-n-Bull. Then another brief circle to prepare for Phase II of the Bundok.

I’ll need to be discrete discreet in my description of those activities. All the Hashers are randomly given a key to a room at a nearby short time motel. So we can, um, take a shower. The rooms do come equipped with “software” that each individual is free to utilize in any manner that pleases them. Or not at all. Of course, whether the software actually works is also an individualized undertaking. This was my third Bundok and the first time I maximized the capabilities of the software to my ultimate satisfaction. The shower was refreshing as well.

A knock on the door shortly before the hour was up meant that it was time to head back to Hot Zone (we were on the roof, not in the bar) for our final circle and after-action report. Apparently, a good time was had by nearly everyone in attendance. I know I was Charmed.

Oh yeah, here’s this year’s version of the coveted Bundok shirt.

The front.
The back. Fuck you COVID.
And the discrete disclaimer inside the shirt.

So, that was that. Another day in paradise with a dash of the unexpected to spice things up a bit. Back to my normal routines now. Long (for me) walks yesterday and this morning and I’ll do some darts out on Baloy beach this afternoon.

It’s all good.

9 thoughts on “Down in the Bundok

  1. “I’ll need to be discrete in my description of those activities.”

    Ah, yes: I believe you mean discreet. The “-crete” word means “distinctly separate,” as in Divide your lecture into three discrete parts.

    And what would a John Mac post be without several dashes of naughtiness thrown in? “Software,” forsooth.

    I gather that this is the same tits-and-ass-loving artist who did the designs for your other shirts. He’s good. I appreciate his talent, and I’m starting to recognize his style.

    Your character arc, so to speak, has been interesting since you arrived in the PI. You’re now the veteran guide who can redirect newbies away from nasty portions of a local trail and onto more reasonable stretches. Awesome.

    Sounds like a good, fun day, all in all. Stay discreet!

  2. I was thinking at first that $70 was a bit high for your hike. But then you said it included a shower at the end. Now that’s different. There is nothing like a nice shower after a long hike.

  3. Kev, I will definitely need to be more discreet about my poor word choices. I actually know the difference but sometimes my brain just goes “that SOUNDS right” and moves on. I always do a quick proofread and catch the most egregious errors, but this one sailed right under the radar. Yeah, I’m not exactly sure who gets credit for this shirt, I suspect it might be Guenter who I understand creates games for the internet for a living. I always do feel more confident when I know I can create my own Plan B if the hike isn’t to my liking. Nothing like these guys who’ve been here for 10+ years though. I’ll see a path and they say, oh, we did that one back in 2009…you wouldn’t like it. 🙂

  4. Pete, I’m eligible for the SSRV, a retirement visa. In fact, I started the application process when I first moved here. It got to be too much of a pain in the ass so I just gave it up. I get 60 days at a time for 3000 pesos on tourist visa renewals for up to three years, then you have to leave the country and start over. I heard some offices give 6-month extensions, but not Olongapo. Takes me 15 minutes or so, so easy enough. If I decide to do the SSRV in the future I’ll probably use an agent so I don’t have to deal with the hassle.

  5. John, is the “leave the country” when you cannot get any further visa extensions a “leave the country for the weekend and return to start another 3 year cycle” or is it “leave the country and you can’t come back for XX amount of time?”

    If it is the former, pretty good deal. Pre-COVID, Thailand was was becoming more strict on “tourist” visa extensions and giving a hard look at people who jumped across the border for a day to restart the visa cycle.

    Aside to Kevin – congrats on finishing your walk!! Nice job!!

  6. Brian, it is a re-start the clock after 3 years type of thing. Not a problem for me as I intend to travel several times a year. At least I did until this COVID thing fucked everything up. I should be good though until 2022 anyway.

    I am hoping the Philippines doesn’t emulate Thailand regarding visas. Wouldn’t make sense to do so, but then again, the actions of the government here never seem to make much sense.

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