A wet and wild Thursday, while the rain just keeps on keepin’ on. And the fun has just begun, as I understand yet another typhoon is headed this way.

Started out with more of my newest morning ritual of coffee with Swan at 0800. That’s always a pleasure, and yesterday was no exception.

When coffee time was over, I decided to take a walk and get a closer look.

I heard from the agent looking for a replacement tenant in my current digs that she has a couple of interested foreigners. One wants to know if I can move out sooner than October. I checked with my future landlord, who told me the house would be in move-in condition by September first. So, I passed that info along, and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that someone will move in when I move out.

Not much else to do on a rainy afternoon but sit around and wait for beer o’clock. Except instead of the bars, I had an invitation for dinner with Swan at her/our place. When she was ready for me, I made the ten-minute walk in the driving rain while the wind rendered my umbrella pretty much worthless.

It was a nice evening for the most part. I did fudge up early on when I played one of my favorite songs by the Alan Parsons Project, Time. It’s the song that I hope will be played at my funeral. My mistake was mentioning that fact to Swan. She got very upset, not in an angry way, but she was quite emotional as she told me not to say that or talk about such things. Yeah, it was insensitive of me given her recent loss to mention my future mortality. I turned the song off, and went back out on the patio. She came out later, asked if I was okay, and gave me a hug.

I don’t want to feel like I have to walk on eggshells around Swan, but I do need to learn to be more in tune with who she is and how she sees things. She’s got a good sense of humor but doesn’t like me using “bad words.” She is also not fond of sexual innuendos. I’m going to have to learn to do better in both regards. Swan tends to take some things too seriously, and I’m one who likes to kid around, so hopefully, we’ll reach an understanding on some middle ground. But like I told her, if those issues are our biggest problem, we are indeed blessed.

Time
Flowing like a river
Time
Beckoning me
Who knows when we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river
To the sea

Goodbye my love
Maybe for forever
Goodbye my love
The tide waits for me
Who knows when we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)
To the sea
To the sea

Till it's gone forever
Gone forever
Gone forevermore

Goodbye my friend
Maybe for forever
Goodbye my friend
The stars wait for me
Who knows where we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)
To the sea
To the sea

Till it's gone forever
Gone forever
Gone forevermore

Day four of wind and rain with no end in sight. That didn’t stop the Wednesday Walkers, though. Well, at least not the three of us who showed up. Scott needed to pick up some items at the Waltermart store anyway, so we made that the starting and ending point of our 6.5K wet day street walk.

It was good to be out and about, but days of continuous rainfall gets old quick. It didn’t stop raining last night either, but that didn’t stop me–I had work to do:

I also rang the bell, which means buying all the girls a drink. Hey, I was feeling rich after all that money I saved by not going out on Tuesday!

Anyway, I hadn’t seen my friends at Whiskey Girl in a while, so I popped in there after completing my mission at Hideaway.

And for the record, I’ve told all my bargirl friends that I’m now in a relationship. They all seem happy for me. Why wouldn’t they be? I’m still buying lady drinks, after all.

I did my nightcap at Snackbar.

It was interesting to be back out on the town after taking a night off. I guess I’m transitioning to a new way of life, but I don’t expect I’ll be letting go of the old one completely. It’s been said that variety is the spice of life, so maybe it’s time I get seasoned. And tonight, I’ll again join Swan for dinner at her/our place. And beers on the patio!

I’m a lucky man.

…then love the one you’re with. I was the DJ during my dinner date with Swan last night, and I played a lot of love songs, but not that particular Stephen Stills classic. That’s not the kind of love I’m hoping for.

The steaks were high but they were worth it.

The steaks had been marinating in the fridge, and knowing I wouldn’t be home for lunch or dinner, I fired up the grill after the dog walk and slapped on the meat. Tender and juicy! A nice start to the morning.

The grocery shopping went fine; this week’s total expenditure was “only” 13,000 pesos. Still a tad over budget, but way down from the 18,000 I spent last week.

Coming home from Royal on the National Highway I was witness to another example of the insanity demonstrated by Filipino drivers on a regular basis.

After we dropped off the groceries, my driver took Swan and I back to Olongapo to search for some hiking shoes at the SM Central Mall. As I expected, the rumor of a store selling my preferred brand, Merrells, was unfounded. I don’t buy Nike products, and Adidas didn’t have anything that seemed appropriate to my needs.

Oh, and I learned some more French: Succès de scandale! Althouse was blogging about how the low-rated Justin Aldean song, “Try That In A Small Town,” has skyrocketed to the top of the charts since the crybaby lefties tried to cancel it. Good stuff.

You might also find this vlogger YouTube video I came across where he interviews an Angeles City freelance prostitute interesting. I had mixed feelings about it, frankly. I do feel sorry for these gals that choose the oldest profession, but in almost every case I’ve seen, it’s the only viable choice and best opportunity they have to earn a living. When the do-gooders come in and shut them down, it’s the girls who suffer—some rescue. Oh, and she claims she started at 12 years old. I think that’s most likely bullshit. You just don’t see that; almost everyone knows better than to partake in someone underage. Sad if true, but I don’t think so. Anyway, watch it if you want and make your own judgment.

Okay then, I feel like I’m forgetting something. Oh yeah! The dinner date with Swan!

The rain had been falling off and on for most of the day. I carried my umbrella and used it once during the ten minute walk.

After we ate, we went back to the patio. Since my arrival, Swan had been playing mostly romantic songs from a YouTube playlist. I volunteered to connect my Spotify app to her Bluetooth music box and play some of my favorites for her. I was actually quite impressed with her wide range of music familiarity, recognizing most of the songs and artists I shared, some of which were older than she is. So, we have similar tastes in music which is nice.

I’m drinking beer and Swan is sipping red wine. And then she comes out with a small glass of wine and takes this picture:

Well, I think it is fair to say that the question of her comfort level with me in the house has been answered–she seems fine with it, and in some ways, it is like he is still there. Now it becomes a matter of how am I going to feel about being the third wheel in this relationship. The selfish demon in me started trying to raise some negative feelings, but I resisted and told him to shut the fudge up. I focused instead on the positives. I’m glad Swan can be open about her feelings around me, I’m happy that she makes me feel welcome, and if I have to share her with a dead man for the time being, so be it. Her happiness is my mission.

Swan invited me back for a Thursday dinner/beer on the patio, and I accepted. I think her goal is for me to make staying home a better option than the bars. Well, I didn’t spend any money on beers and lady drinks last night, so that will help the budget. And Swan has agreed to join me for an adventure in Vietnam later this year, so saving some cash for that is a good plan. I’ll be glad when I’m not walking back home in the dark, though. Still, it was a good night, and I’m looking forward to a replay come Thursday.

Well there's a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love, honey
Love the one you're with

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know
That I intend to hold you for the longest time

I heard this old Billy Joel song while out walking this morning, and it resonated with my current state of mind. It also gave me a title for today’s post!

This experience with Swan has been an eye-opener. Time will tell if it is destined to be a life changer. I have now come to understand that the grief that flows from losing a long-term love is something that can’t be overcome with the good intentions of a prospective new partner. It has been said that time heals a broken heart, and to the extent that is true, the amount of time required before one moves on with whatever the future holds is something unique to the individual’s suffering. Or at least 365 days.

One of my lessons learned is that in Filipino culture, the death of a lover is expected to be grieved for at least one year. Anything less than that is considered disrespectful to the deceased. Dating or beginning a new relationship is not viewed kindly in the community. There is a law here that makes re-marriage illegal if it occurs less than 301 days after the former spouse’s death. Notwithstanding the legalities and social standards, the calendar can’t control the grief process-the heart feels what it feels.

So, I’m a selfish bastard, particularly in matters of the heart. Not fully understanding the issues Swan is suffering through, I had some expectations she was unable and unwilling to accommodate. My lack of understanding and neediness only exacerbated my feelings of rejection. Then I had a long chat with an old friend and blog reader, Maria. She’s a Filipina and a widow, and she shared some perspectives regarding what Swan is going through that I had yet to consider fairly. And commenter Kevin offered similar advice that really hit home with me. I saw just how wrong my overbearing behavior with Swan had been. The bottom line is that I finally came to realize this is not about me and what I want at all. If I genuinely have feelings for Swan, my sole concern should be doing whatever I can to make her transition from grieving to living as comfortable and stress-free as possible. My wants don’t matter; I need to give her the time and space she has been almost begging for. I now consider myself lucky that my lack of patience and selfishness didn’t drive her away from me for good.

Swan’s man died in April. She intends to abide by the one-year norm for a public display of grieving. That means no overt dating or creating the appearance of being a couple in public. She seems okay with an occasional hike, provided it is just the two of us. She has expressed an interest in overseas travel as well. Thus far, there has been no physical contact beyond hugs, and she has made it clear that she is not ready to engage in sexual activities. She seems to enjoy my company (we get together for coffee every morning), laugh, and have pleasant interactions. She doesn’t like “bad words,” so I’m learning to say “fudge” instead of “fuck”. She is a good woman with a good heart, and I have yet to see any red flags or reasons to doubt the viability of a future relationship. I think she is a good fit for me and would make a great partner in life. Except I won’t get her heart for another eight months at least. Talk about the right love at the wrong time!

As of now, here is where things stand. I told Swan I am here for her whenever she wants or needs me. I won’t bother her by asking her to spend time with me, but I’ll come running if she wants company or needs to talk. One big change is that I hired her as a part-time caregiver. Yeah, she can call me “boss,” especially if and when we are out in public together. A small salary will help her out some too. She still plans to stay at the house when I move in this October, although either in the basement with the other helpers or in the guest room. The dynamics of that situation are a bit disconcerting, but it may be clearer come October. If it is too uncomfortable, I’ll assist her in moving. Swan thanked me for understanding her situation and for my willingness to step back and allow her the time and space she needs to move on. In my heart, I know this is the right thing to do.

And there you have it. Weirdest damn place I’ve ever been in my many long and varied love lives. But I’ve got to say; this does feel different in a good way. If I’m finally setting my selfishness aside and putting the needs of someone I care about ahead of my own, maybe there is hope for me yet.

In the meantime, I’ll continue my beer drinking ways. A guy I know is opening a new bar tonight and I’m going check it out. Life goes on, even while you are waiting.

I’m still not clear enough on what’s happening with Swan to write about it here. One moment I think I understand, and the next, I’m wracked with doubts again. Give me a little more time to figure things out, and I will update you accordingly.

Swan also shared a hike with me yesterday morning. We walked out to Naugsol in search of the lot she purchased several years ago.

We walked back to Alta Vista through the valley, and I lost the trail. So we waded through the wet fields and eventually found the road I’d been seeking. It was flooded too. Some of the sights along the way:

I also heard from my current landlord. He is in the process of advertising my place for rent when I move out at the end of September and asked if I would take some photos from the back deck.

The landlord is a great guy, and I pledged to help find a renter to replace me. I feel guilty about breaking my lease. Oh, and I was surprised to learn my landlord has seen my blog. I guess it came up in a Google search while he was preparing the vacancy ad. That’s twice this week I’ve been surprised by an unknown reader!

Today is my mother’s birthday.

Facebook also carried me back to my heydays in the 80s.

Speaking of rockin’ it, the way I roll these days is on an old-fashioned bar crawl.

We paid a visit to Cheap Charlies next, then crossed the highway to Hot Zone.

Next up was a bar I very rarely visit, Lux.

The last stop of the evening was Queen Victoria. A former waitress from Snackbar is working there now, so naturally, I bought her a lady drink. An lo and behold, I looked at my watch and it was after nine p.m.! Will miracles never cease? I left after one beer.

I’ll be back to Queen Vic tonight for the SOB. Swan is supposed to join me, so I have that to look forward to. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

“Like attracts like. Just be who you are, calm and clear and bright. Automatically, as we shine who we are, asking ourselves every minute is this what I really want to do, doing it only when we answer yes, automatically that turns away those who have nothing to learn from who we are,and attracts those who do, and from whom we have to learn, as well.”

― Richard Bach

We shall see.

We had four in attendance for the Wednesday Walkers group hike. I’m one of the Hares for next week’s Hash, so we took advantage of the opportunity to do some scouting for the trail. Here’s how things look so far:

That was the walkaholic portion of my day. When it came time to feed my alcoholic desires, I started out at Hideaway. It was Wednesday, so I funded a roast chicken feeding for the girls. I had brought along some brownies for the sweet teeth.

When it was time to move on, I was unsure of my destination. As I passed The Annex, I noticed it was devoid of customers, so I decided to rectify that situation.

So, I’m drinking alone, and I get a message from Swan with this photo:

That triggered a conversation that led to further discussion this morning. And I do believe we’ve reached some understandings, and the way ahead seems much clearer. I’ll share more about that in tomorrow’s post. I’m still doing some processing, but I’m feeling much more optimistic about the future.

I did my nightcap at Wet Spot and ordered some takeout food from Sit-n-Bull to carry home with me.

In bed at nine and up at three to start another day in paradise. Around five a.m., something bizarre occurred. I keep the back door open so the dogs can come in and out, and I was working the internet with the lights on when suddenly I was besieged by a hoard of moth-like creatures–literally hundreds of them. I’d never seen anything like it before.

After saturating the area around my desk with the poison mist, I retreated to my bedroom, closed the door, and waited thirty minutes or so.

I don’t need that kind of excitement in my life! But later in the morning, as I was walking Buddy (Lucky declined to come along for some reason), I encountered a ray of hope.

I baked a batch of blueberry muffins and carried some with me for my morning coffee with Swan. A good and meaningful talk, then a nice hike together to a lot she owns in Naugsol. I’ll share some details and photos of those events tomorrow.

Oh, and about the title of this post. I heard that song for the first time in forever the other night, and damn, it’s a catchy little tune. Not really relevant to anything I’ve shared today, but give it a listen anyway and see what you think.

Those hours aren’t just going to fill themselves. Here’s how I killed the time yesterday.

I woke up a 4:27 after a good night’s sleep of six hours and nineteen minutes. That’s what my Fitbit tells me anyway, I don’t remember much of that.

(all times approximate)

4:30 to 6:30: Coffee and the internet. Scrolled Facebook for new activity/messages. Responded to comments on my blog. Visited my favorite sites to see what was happening in the rest of the world: Althouse, Big Hominid, HotAir, Instapundit, PowerLine, Twitchy, and ROKDrop. Checked my email accounts, then read some forums I’m a member of (PI@Night, Philippines Addicts, and Quora).

And Facebook memories brought me this from twelve years ago:

6:30 to 7:00: I took a shower, then fed and walked the dogs.

7:00 to 7:30: Filled the slow cooker with chili ingredients: browned ground beef, chili seasoning, diced onion, kidney beans, pinto beans, and diced tomatoes with green chilies.

7:30 to 8:00: Medicine and health check.

8:00 to 8:30: Passed some time playing solitaire.

8:30 to 11:00: Grocery shopping. My driver swung by my future house to pick up Swan, and we were off for SBMA (the old Navy base). First stop was BPI to raid the ATM and restock my cash supply for the coming week. Then I changed things up and visited the Puregold supermarket. I do this every few months hoping to find items that are endlessly out of stock at Royal.

11:00 to 3:00: Lunch, blogging, and internet exploration. We dropped Swan and the few items she bought (and I paid for) at her place. She had some business to attend to but said she’d try and see me later. When I got home, I fired up the oven and baked a batch of cornbread. The chili was done when the cornbread was, so I had myself a meal.

I knocked out yesterday’s post with more than the usual amount of grammar and punctuation errors. Sorry about that. I hope today’s effort shows improvement, but I’m not betting on it.

Did some chats on the Facebook Messenger app. Swan advised she would not be able to get together after all. Mountain Mama MJ said she was stuck in Olongapo and wouldn’t be able to come for her allowance at the usual time (2:00). I told her she could just meet me at Sloppy Joe’s later. I also advised that beginning next month, I would be sending her stipend monthly via Western Union instead of her picking up weekly allotments from me. I feel obligated to maintain my commitment to helping her and the kids out, but I don’t need the hassle of being available at specified times for the handoff. She’ll have to learn to budget that money based on her own priorities, but she seemed okay with that arrangement.

3:00 to 8:00: My night on the town. I normally don’t leave the house until around four, but I was feeling frustrated about Swan’s inability to join me, even for some TV time at home, so I declared an early start to beer o’clock. At least the rain had finally ended.

My first stop was Sloppy Joe’s.

MJ arrived shortly after I did, so I handed her the cash and bought her a Coke. She told me her sad tales of living as a single mother on the mountain. The recent storm had knocked down her banana trees, eliminating one of her sources of extra income. Her roof is also leaking. Life is hard on the poor like that, it seems, but she’s a fighter. She’ll get through it.

MJ left, and I had some more beers and chat with my fellow bargoers. I was waiting for five o’clock with the intention of visiting Whiskey Girl and taking advantage of the “buy one, get one” pricing, but one of the customers told me the hours had changed and the bar doesn’t open until six. Alright, then I’ll go have me some dinner. Next stop, John’s place.

The waitress advised that the daily special was beef enchiladas. That sounded like a good choice to me.

While I was waiting for my order, Joy messaged me asking if I had eaten yet. I didn’t tell her I was just across the highway from Hideaway, but decided to surprise her after I finished my meal. I didn’t want to go there empty handed, so I bought a dozen Dunkin’ Donuts to share with the girls.

A couple of beers and lady drinks later, I made my way down the highway to Whiskey Girl.

My old favorite Jen was there, but my new favorite Kim was not. Oh well, that saved me some money I suppose. I bought two beers (and got two for free), and treated Jen to two lady drinks before departing.

The usual trike wasn’t outside Whiskey Girl, so I walked up the highway to the trike stand on Baloy Road. And since I was there anyway, I did my nightcap at Snackbar.

And then I got to talking to Richard, the guy sitting nearby my stool. I had seen him around before but not really chatted. Turns out he reads my blog! After all these years (nineteen and counting,) I’m still surprised when I randomly encounter one of the folks who spend time reading my drivel. It’s a little disconcerting since I like to pretend I have some anonymity, but overall it’s a good feeling.

And that’s where my night out ended. Grabbed a trike home, made me a strawberry, banana, and mango smoothie, and then had a goodnight chat with Swan.

9:13: That’s what time my Fitbit tracker says I ended my Tuesday with the blissful peace of sleep.

I guess you could say that’s just the way I roll. Better to have too much time on my hands than not enough!

Sitting on this barstool talking like a damn fool
Got the twelve o'clock news blues
And I've given up hope for the afternoon soaps
And a bottle of cold brew
Is it any wonder I'm not crazy? Is it any wonder I'm sane at all
Well I'm so tired of losing- I got nothing to do and all day to do it
I go out cruisin' but I've no place to go and all night to get there
Is it any wonder I'm not a criminal?
Is it any wonder I'm not in jail?
Is it any wonder I've got

Too much time on my hands?
It's ticking away with my sanity
I've got too much time on my hands
It's hard to believe such a calamity
I've got too much time on my hands
And it's ticking away, ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands
(It's t-t-t-t-ticking away)
Too much time on my hands
(And I don't know what to do with myself)
Too much time on my hands

Too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands

Now, I'm a jet fuel genius - I can solve the world's problems
Without even trying
I got dozens of friends and the fun never ends
That is, as long as I'm buying
Is it any wonder I'm not the president
Is it any wonder I'm null and void?
Is it any wonder I've got

Too much time on my hands?
It's ticking away with my sanity
I've got too much time on my hands
It's hard to believe such a calamity
I got too much time on my hands
And it's ticking away, ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands
(T-t-t-t-ticking away)

Rex Lewis completed his tour of duty here on Earth yesterday morning. I can’t say that we were more than acquaintances and Facebook friends, but I’d see him out and about around town, most often in It Doesn’t Matter and Hideaway. He liked playing pool and drinking, was friendly, and well-liked by those who knew him. He hadn’t been in the best of health, and he was a heavy smoker, so when I first heard the news, I really wasn’t all that surprised. Until I heard the circumstances leading to his death.

I’d often see Rex out at Baloy Beach walking his dogs in the morning. It seems yesterday his young son decided to go wading in the bay. Well, with this tropical depression that has been pounding us, the waters have been roiled. Anyway, Rex had to go out to rescue the boy, and after handing him off, Rex was hit by a wave and knocked down, smashing his head into a rock. He was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital. Well, if you have got to die, going out a hero is a fine way to do it. Gonna miss seeing you around, Rex.

You never know when your time will come. I don’t dwell on it so much lately; I just take each day as it comes and hope for the best. When it’s all over, I guess it won’t matter to me–I’ll be dead.

Meanwhile, it is STILL raining here. We have yet to have a break in going on four days now. You don’t get used to it, you have to adapt as best you can. I try to time my walk into town and between the bars to the intervals between the squalls, and I’m batting about .500 in that regard. I’ve also acquired a larger umbrella.

I did the Sunday feeding at Hideaway Bar last night. Jewel Cafe provided the food in exchange for 1700 pesos.

I got the news about Rex while I was at Hideaway, and the girls were shocked. They said Rex had been there on Wednesday and had a good time. They’ll miss him, I could tell.

When I left Hideaway, I headed over to It Doesn’t Matter to pay my respects. Manager Ashley was still in tears.

When the rain eased up a bit, I hustled down the highway to Sloppy Joe’s. Chris was there and hadn’t heard the news about Rex. So, we raised a glass in his honor, and I suggested Chris (who had the music controller) play “Another One Bites The Dust,” but I guess it was too soon.

I ended my night at Snackbar and enjoyed the company of the owner and Lydell. It’s funny how things turn out. I’m so over what was as I look forward to what might be.

I made a batch of brownies for Swan and we enjoyed them with our morning coffee.

It is Hash Monday, and it’s going to be a wet one. We will be doing a street walk, though, so it should be survivable. I’ll let y’all know how it goes tomorrow.

Another Saturday night alone on the town. That seems to be my destiny, at least for the immediate future. I ain’t giving up; this might be life’s lesson to teach me patience. I’m continuing to communicate with Swan, and she says she wants a place in my life; she just needs me to give her time for the love part. I don’t have anything else to do, so why not?

It is still raining like mad here. I’ve not been able to hike for two days straight. I can usually handle the rain, but not so much when the wind blows it sideways. The Gods of Beer cut me some slack yesterday afternoon with a brief pause in the rain that allowed me to escape the confines of my residence and seek shelter in the bars of Barretto.

I began my night’s work at It Doesn’t Matter. I was the only customer in the outside area, and perhaps that was weather-related, although the seating and tables were all dry. It’s been a sad spectacle since owner Bob passed away to see what was once my overall favorite bar lose its buzz. I’m not sure what happened, but I see many of the regulars have abandoned IDM and now are ensconced at places like Sloppy Joe’s and The Annex. Admittedly, I don’t visit IDM as frequently as I used to, either. The familiar faces are gone, and the service has deteriorated. I fear I may be witnessing the bar’s death spiral.

After two beers, I was still the only drinker outside, so I figured I might as well get some dinner in my belly. Of course, right as I got up to go the rain started again. I opened my umbrella and made a dash around the corner for Myleen’s. I was the only customer there as well, but who cares? I came to eat.

After my meal, I crossed the highway and climbed the stairs up to Cheap Charlies.

I made a mad dash back across the highway and visited Wet Spot as my next venue. It was surprisingly busy for a rainy night. Same thing next door at The Green Room. I’ve created a bit of a problem for myself at Green Room. I had four gals surrounding my table shortly after I sat down, and they were thirsty. I’d had a few beers by this time, so my resistance was lower than normal (and normal isn’t a high bar). They wound up getting two LDs each, but I was compensated for my generosity when the manager sent over a free beer for me. Somehow the math didn’t work in my favor, though.

When I’d finished lightening my wallet at Green Room, I stepped outside and hesitated, trying to decide where I might go next. A trike pulled up, and the driver said, “Going home, John?” so I figured I might as well end the night safe and relatively dry. A bowl of ice cream, a chat with Swan, and in bed at nine. I really am going to work on staying out a little later, at least a couple of nights per week. I’m acting like such an old man, and I self-identify as thirty. Don’t be an age bigot!

The power went out during the night, and I woke up sweating around three a.m. in the dark. I used my phone flashlight to make a cup of coffee, and then at 3:30, power was restored. I took a nap at six, then took Buddy for a walk (Lucky once again declined to come along, I guess he doesn’t like being out in the rain). I changed things up and walked to Swan’s place. I could tell she was surprised to see me, but she invited me in for a cup of Joe.

My Facebooks memories today reminded me of the meme-making phase I went through a few years back. This one from 2015 might be my all-time favorite:

And while I have been writing this post, I’ve also been preparing my lunch. Yep, I’m a multi-tasker!

Gonna do the feeding at Hideaway tonight and then see what happens afterward. See you here tomorrow!

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Women they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know

Hearing those words yesterday didn’t leave me feelin’ groovy, but sometimes a babbling idiot needs a hard slap to the face. Swan reminded me in no uncertain terms yesterday that my feelings for her far exceed where her heart currently lies. The truth hurts sometimes, but I fully understand. I knew from the beginning that where she is starting from, still grieving the loss of the love of her life, would likely preclude her from jumping into a love relationship with me. Selfish bastard that I am, I let my feelings for her blind me to her pain and need to proceed slowly. I need to do better, and I will.

Speaking of getting blown away, Tropical Storm Dodong continues to rage across the PI, bringing high winds and heavy rain.

The SOB was canceled last night because of the weather, so my plans for an evening with Swan were another storm casualty. I was sitting alone at the Outback pool bar nursing some beers and wondering what to do next when Swan messaged me, saying she wanted to see me and talk. Thirty minutes later, she was sitting beside me, offering reassurance that she cared for me but asking for time to get to a place where she is comfortable starting over again. I told her that she was worth waiting for and that when she was ready, I’ll be here. She responded that we just needed to go slow, and I agreed to go forward at whatever speed her comfort level allowed. Of course, I’m already so far ahead of her that going slow means a retreat, but I’ll do my best to hold my feelings in check until she is ready, willing, and able to receive them.

It what may be a positive sign, Swan asked the bartender to take the first-ever photo of us together. She shared it with me on the condition that I promise not to post it, and I’m a man of my word. We said goodnight, Swan went home, and I hit the bars, feeling somewhat less blue.

Queen Victoria (one beer, one lady drink), Sloppy Joe’s (one beer), Wet Spot (one beer), and Green Room (three beers, four lady drinks–one each for four gals). Then I grabbed some pecan pie at Sit-n-Bull and caught a trike for home.

Rain and wind continued through the night and morning, but I caught a break in the storm long enough to walk Buddy (Lucky didn’t want to go).

Swan messaged me that my morning coffee was ready, so I grabbed my umbrella and some freshly baked banana walnut muffins and headed to her/our/my place.

The work on the house seems to be progressing on schedule, and I’m looking forward to calling it home come October. I came home back to my current residence and saw I had some storm damage out back:

I decided to forego my solo Saturday walk in deference to the wet and windy weather. I’m sure I will find the courage to defy Mother Nature once beer o’clock rolls around.

In the “it’s the thought that counts” category, my school teacher friend in Olongapo sent a photo of a recognition certificate I’ll be receiving:

It occurred to me recently that this version of me is probably the best I’ve ever been. Take that as you will, but despite being a slow learner, I’ve grown from the lessons of past mistakes. If and when I ever find a woman to love me, she’s going to be one lucky bitch!

And if in the end Swan takes a dive, then I’ll just continue to do what I do and make the best of whatever time I have left. That’s about as groovy as it gets.

Another day, another golden oldie from my youth. This song was always a favorite, and hearing it again after all these years, I can say that it has aged well. And even through the fog of my Biden-like brain, I remember the lyrics. Well, the first verse, anyway:

You were the sunshine, baby, whenever you smiled
But I call you Stormy today
All of a sudden that ole rain's fallin' down
And my world is cloudy and gray
You've gone away

Oh Stormy, oh Stormy
Bring back that sunny day

What inspired this journey to the past? Well, I reckon the rain that’s been falling for twenty-four hours might have had something to do with it. ‘Tis the season, so I might as well just suck it up until I can start complaining about the heat again.

I began my Thursday adventures with coffee at Swan’s place, which is now part of my daily routine.

As I’ve mentioned, Swan has been emphatic in expressing her lack of desire to participate in my hiking lifestyle. However, she volunteered to join me once a week, provided it was only the two of us and there were no mountains to climb. So, the Thursday morning hike is now our day. I wanted to get her off the streets so she could enjoy the beauty of the local countryside, and I figured the My Bitch trail would accomplish that objective. Or as I told Swan, I’m taking my bitch to see my bitch. She laughed, which is one of the qualities I like best about her. She thinks I’m funny!

I mentioned I had an appointment with Dr. Jo at four, and Swan volunteered to join me. She’s been trained as a caregiver and has expressed her intent to take care of me. I’m down with that.

My purpose in visiting Dr. Jo was to discuss the pros and cons of continuing to use the drug prescribed for me by the doctor in Thailand I saw. He had told me it was a short-term fix for my nasal congestion pending surgery. The drug is prednisolone, and it worked like a charm. You can read all about it at the link, but it’s a pretty standard steroid treatment with some potentially severe side effects, especially with long-term usage. Since I began using it, almost all my symptoms and breathing issues resolved, but when the meds ran out, I started feeling the blockage in my nostrils returning. My question for Dr. Jo was how could prednisolone be more harmful than the symptoms it was curing? After some discussion, we devised a plan that I would take the drug in lower dosages for three weeks and then take a three-week break. If that keeps my sinuses clear, we will continue that course of action indefinitely, provided I don’t develop any adverse side effects. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Swan had a family event to attend last night, but she agreed to join me for some dinner after the doctor visit. I took her to Mango’s:

It rained throughout our meal, and when we finished, Swan caught a trike to the family home in Matain, and I looked for the nearest open bar to get out of the rain. That turned out to be Whiskey Girl. I was the only customer, and neither of my favorites (Jen and Kim) was working, so I bailed after my two beers (buy one, get one). I crossed the highway and almost fell on my ass on the slippery sidewalk in front of Johansson’s. A beer there, then I took advantage of a break in the rain and scooted over to Sloppy Joe’s. Jim was there, so I had a drinking buddy to chat with as we downed our beers and watched the rain fall. I finished my night at Snackbar, then triked back home.

Wind and rain all night and all day so far.

No Friday group hike today because of the weather, but I took a short walk into town to get some steps in.

I’ll be doing the SOB at Queen Victoria tonight, and Swan says she will meet me there when she completes her meat deliveries. I promised I’d stay sober long enough to enjoy some live music after the dance competition. Wish me luck!

Yesterday's love was like a warm summer breeze
But, like the weather ya changed
Now things are dreary, baby
And it's windy and cold
And I stand alone in the rain
Callin' your name

Oh Stormy, oh Stormy
Bring back that sunny day

…I’ve got love in my tummy.

There you go, another day, another old tune from the 1960s. You can blame Althouse for this one; she featured the song in a post I saw today. I didn’t like the song back when it was a hit, and I don’t like it much better now, but it was interesting to ride the way-back machine to see the song performed. And the tie-in for my post title is yesterday’s dinner I prepared for Swan and my landlord Alicia.

After the meal, Alicia drove us to the Central Park Reef Hotel so we could take in the rooftop views while enjoying a cold beer.

A light rain started to fall, so we moved to a table under the roof to finish our beers.

Swan and Alicia were ready to return home, but the night was young, even by my low standards. So, I rode the elevator down to the basement parking level with them and said my goodbyes. Then I headed to Wet Spot.

After a couple of beers at Wet Spot, I headed over to Cheap Charlies. While enjoying a round of drinks with my regular crew, I told them of my new-found relationship with Swan. They all seemed sincerely happy for me. Nerissa enjoyed her “I knew it!” moment, reminding me she had seen us together a couple of weeks ago on the Central Park rooftop. Yeah, it was different then, but okay, you win.

Back home before nine as usual and had a brief chat with Swan before bed. She still doesn’t want to go public about my role in her life, although she has told her sisters about me. Still won’t let me take her picture, though. I guess when that day comes, it will be a milestone on our journey together. I’m not complaining, I feel blessed to have her in my life, and I’m looking forward to the time when she’ll be the last thing I see at night and my first vision in the morning. I hope that happens before October, but I’m going to abide by whatever schedule Swan is comfortable with.

Yesterday morning I enjoyed a valley hike with the Wednesday Walkers group.

A good day on trail with the group.

Okay, I’ll be back with more of this nonsense tomorrow. I’m doing a consult this afternoon with Dr. Jo on the wisdom of refilling the prescription I got during my Thailand visit. It worked like a charm clearing my blocked sinuses, but now that I’m out of meds, I can feel the clogging coming back. The Thai doc said the medication was a short-term fix, but I want to know why the drugs are worse than the symptoms they relieve.

Peace out!

Or, more precisely, the lack thereof. But hey, I am in the midst of a significant transformation: going from being a “player” to a faithful partner in a relationship. It is all still baby steps so far, but it feels like things are moving in the right direction. Given my history in matters of the heart, there is certainly no guarantee that this will end well, but I’m motivated to not fuck things up by being stupid. Wish me luck!

Yesterday Swan once again accompanied me and my helper on the weekly grocery shopping excursion to the Royal supermarket. And this time, Swan allowed me to purchase a few household items on her behalf. I also bought a case of beer to keep at her place for those nights I visit the house instead of the bars. A jar of instant coffee as well because I plan to join her every morning for a cup of java as part of my new routine. Like I said, small steps for now until she is ready to let go of her past and embrace a future with me.

The landlord is still at the house overseeing the work being done, and Swan feels obligated to stay at home to assist her as needed. So, I was on my own yesterday afternoon and evening. MJ, the mountain mama I support, came by for her allowance and once again asked if she could perform massage services to earn extra money. I told her that I have a girlfriend now, so there would be no more massages. She seemed surprised and a little disappointed but took it in stride. What else could she do?

With nothing better to do on a Tuesday at beer o’clock, I headed into town. First stop was Sloppy Joe’s. Chris and his girl were there as usual, and Jim arrived shortly after I did.

We took turns buying rounds of drinks until the time came for me to go in search of some food. Joy had messaged me while I was at Sloppy Joe’s, and I decided it was time for us to have “the talk.” I stopped at John’s place and ordered some Korean-style chicken wings and beef bulgogi for delivery to Hideaway. When I arrived, I bought Joy a drink and told her I’d begun a relationship and wouldn’t be spending as much time in the bars, including the Wednesday feeding. However, my new girlfriend didn’t object to my continuing the Sunday provision of food. I asked Joy if she was okay with me bringing my girl with me to Hideaway, and she said it was not a problem. In fact, she took the news better than I expected, and I didn’t notice any change in attitude during my visit last night. So, that was a relief.

I drank my fill at Hideaway and then made my way safely home. Some more chat with Swan before bedtime, including announcing my plan to join her for coffee before my hike in the morning. She said she would be happy to prepare it for me, and I responded I would be glad to drink it. A true 50-50 relationship!

I baked a batch of blueberry muffins this morning and took some along for the coffee date. We sat out on the living room porch and enjoyed the view, chitchat, and some of my usual lame jokes. Swan and Alicia (the landlord) laughed in all the right places, though.

And later this afternoon, Swan and Alicia will join me at my current residence for dinner. I’ll be grilling up some steaks and serving them with a baked potato and corn on the cob. I baked a carrot cake for our dessert. Our after-dinner plans include a visit to the Central Park Hotel rooftop. Alicia has never seen the view from there, so she should enjoy it. I’ll be happy to have my sweet girl at my side.

And that is where things stand as of now. Maybe this slow-motion dance we are doing will result in a stronger foundation for our relationship. I care enough about Swan to want her to find her way to my love in a manner that makes her comfortable. I don’t expect her to let go of the past; that’s a big part of who she is. But the welcome mat to a future with me is ready and waiting for her to take that step. I sense that she is feeling more and more comfortable with the idea, so I just need to be patient and wait for her to join me.

I’ll let y’all know how the dinner and night out go in tomorrow’s post.

The main reason I used “Hanky Panky” for today’s post title was that the song came into my head from out of the blue. There is no understanding the way my muddled brain remembers the trivial and forgets the important stuff like vocative commas. Maybe I should just run for president.

Here is some of what I saw yesterday captured in pixels. And oh, until just now, I never knew that “pixels” comes from “picture elements.” It’s great to have a learning experience at my age!

As I recounted in yesterday’s post, I spent my afternoon coming to terms with Swan on the new relationship status we’ve entered. I’m excited about discovering what lies ahead for us.

It being Sunday, I had a feeding to attend to at Hideaway Bar. The girls changed things up this week by mainly ordering finger foods. No rice involved; that’s a first!

I paid a visit to Cheap Charlies and The Green Room on my way home. Let me check the numbers from yesterday.

• Lady drinks: 2310 pesos
• Food: 2250 pesos
• Beer: 990 pesos
• Tips: 950 pesos

Hmm. I think being in a relationship is going to wind up saving me money!

I had coffee this morning with Swan at her my our place, or soon to be anyway. We are taking baby steps as we move forward, and I’m fine with that.

I did discuss my weekly feedings at Hideaway with Swan, and she said she had no objections to that sort of thing. As far as I’m concerned, Swan is welcome to join me there and participate in the fun. I’m going to have to let Joy know about my new relationship status so she won’t be surprised if Swan does come with me sometime in the future. To be clear, I have not seen Joy outside of the bar for several months, so I’ve not been misleading her.

It should be interesting as I move forward with my transition from being a “player” to having a partner by my side to share the joys and sorrows of this thing we call life. I’m looking forward to it.

I asked Swan if she would like to join me for dinner, but she declined, saying she preferred to stay at home to eat and drink. Okay, different strokes for different folks and all that. Honestly, I’d be willing to spend more time at home if I had someone I cared about to hang out with. As it is now, I go out to get out.

So, I began my lonely night on the town at It Doesn’t Matter. Just me and one other customer in the outside area. Agnes was my waitress, and I bought her a drink. She introduced me to a brand new waitress, so I took her lady drink cherry too. A couple of beers later, I felt the pangs of hunger, and I set upon considering what to do about it. It occurred to me the nearest eatery was right around the corner, a place called Myleen’s. For some reason, I’d never eaten there before (I had takeout once), even though it is one of the best-reviewed restaurants in town, especially well-known for its Italian and Mexican offerings. I’d been craving something from south of the border; the decision was made.

I don’t recall ever having an enchilada (this one is shredded beef) served in quite this fashion. I’m used to it being covered in a spicy sauce. That said, this one tasted just fine, and I could have eaten two. I’m not big on rice, but this blend was tasty. I also enjoyed the refried beans. I’d seen on the menu that the enchilada plate came with chips and salsa, which I assumed would be served as an appetizer to enjoy while my meal was being prepared. Nope, just a few chips and not enough salsa. That’s my only real complaint. The dinner and beer were less than 500 pesos, a very fair price. I’ll be back to try some other items soon.

After my meal, I crossed the highway and went upstairs to Cheap Charlies. I was the only customer, so my regular crew was especially happy to see me.

I only did one round of lady drinks for my threesome, plus a 50 peso tip when I departed a couple of beers later.

Anyway, I closed out my evening with a couple of beers at The Green Room, where I enjoyed watching a couple of skilled pool players making some amazing shots. Then it was next door to Wet Spot for some chat and drinks with the big boys, including owner Dave, at the VIP table. On the way out, I grabbed a pecan pie from Sit-n-Bull to bring home for my bedtime treat. And yes, I smothered the pie under some vanilla ice cream.

• Beer: 1,145 pesos (I bought a couple for others at the table)
• Lady Drinks: 760 pesos
• Food: 750 pesos
• Tips: 430 pesos
• Transportation: 100 pesos

The SOB is at Wet Spot tonight, and Mary asked if she could join me for her last night in town. How could I refuse? We are going to meet at Sloppy Joe’s later; then, I’ll show her the view from the Capital Reef Hotel rooftop before heading to the dance contest.

And here are some nuggets from my internet wanderings:

And finally:

Back with more of the same tomorrow!

It was a nice start to the day to be greeted with that beauty on the bay whilst walking the dogs. And later in the morning, Swan joined me for my daily walk. I kept it flat and easy at her request (hell, that’s my preference, too), and she completed the 6K jaunt without complaint.

Swan’s still calling me “boss,” but otherwise, I’m enjoying the hell out of her company. So, if this is as good as it is gonna get, I’ve still got nothing to complain about.

Last night I did the feeding at Hideaway. On Wednesdays, I let Joy do the ordering, and she had a former co-worker prepare and deliver the food. The girls all seemed to enjoy it.

After Hideaway, I walked all the way across town to Snackbar. The owner had messaged me about an issue she wanted to discuss and specifically asked that I arrive sober. Of course, she didn’t say anything about my having to leave that way. So, I stuck around and lightened the load I was carrying in my wallet. The issue was something customer-related, and I gave her my opinion, which was basically just to ignore it. Assholes abound, and it’s best not to take their criticisms personally, especially when they are unfounded like these seem to be.

I wasn’t quite ready to call it a night when I left Snackbar, so I went back up the highway to Whiskey Girl. Kim wasn’t around when I arrived, but Nikki volunteered to take her place beside me. I didn’t recognize her at first, but Nikki reminded me that I had bought her her first-ever lady drink when she started working several weeks ago. She’s become a pro now, attempting to order a double lady drink (the old bottled beer at 300 pesos trick doesn’t fly with me), but she took it alright when I told her make it a single or nothing. As I was finishing my beer and preparing to leave, Kim arrived. Sorry, hon, I’ll catch you next time.

Once outside, I was surprised that there were no trikes standing by. Hmm. I crossed the highway and visited Queen Victoria for a beer while I waited for transport. Been awhile since I’ve been in there, but at least one of the girls remembered me by name and was buzzing around like a thirsty mosquito. I was out of lady drink mode though, so I ignored her. One beer and out, and this time there was a trike waiting with a shout-out, “Going home, John?” Yep, it’s time.

Damage for the night:

• Lady drinks: 2340 pesos (yikes, that might be a record!)
• Food: 1880 pesos
• Beer: 995 pesos

Spending over a hundred bucks in one night is definitely a budget buster. Especially when I was asleep before 9 p.m.

Anyway, this month is data gathering on where the money goes. Next month I will explore any necessary lifestyle changes based on that information.

In the memories category, fellow Hasher Pubic Head sent this photo of me receiving a Hash vest three years ago to commemorate my 100th run with the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers.

Meanwhile, in news from outer space:

Just about a year ago
I set out on the road
Seeking my fame and fortune
Looking for a pot of gold
Well, things got bad
Then things got worse
I guess you know the tune
Oh Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again.

My 4th of July may not have been all that magical, but it did turn out to be rather musical. Here’s how things went down:

In the category of newsworthy, this event warrants a mention: my eighteen-year-old friend Mary is leaving for Manila this week.

She had asked me for some assistance with her transportation costs, so my plan was to drop off the money after I completed my grocery shopping. I was expecting her to meet me down on the highway near where she lives, but she didn’t respond to my messages or calls. I knew the general whereabouts of her place, so I set out to find her. This involved climbing some slippery steps up through a slum village. Near the top, I saw a couple of older women sitting outside and asked if they knew Mary. It turns out she lived next door. Mary was surprised to see me (her aunt had been using her phone) and maybe a little embarrassed that I was witness to the poverty in which she lived. Yeah, it was a little shocking, but I’ll give her credit for having the courage to take the actions required to build a better life for her and her child.

Mary needed to do some shopping in town, so she rode with me and my driver to Barretto. I treated her to a Sit-n-Bull lunch, gave her some cash, and wished her good luck.

MJ came by my place later in the afternoon to pick up her weekly allowance. Her sister-in-law was in labor and will have the baby at MJ’s house with the help of a midwife. And so the cycle of poverty continues unabated.

Meanwhile, I put the finishing touches on my holiday feast.

I took some leftovers to Swan and my new landlord. Swan messaged me that it was masarap (delicious), and that led to a very strange conversation. I alluded to a “woman in the neighborhood” I’d bought the beef cubes from, and Swan asked what she looked like. This led to a whole discussion in the third person, and Swan encouraged me to reveal my true feelings about this mystery woman. I may have taken it too far because, in the end, Swan indicated all she wanted with me was a working relationship. So, yeah, I may be taking on another helper, it seems. Swan has also started calling me “boss,” and I really don’t like it, but that’s where we are, apparently.

We have yet to discuss in any detail just what her job will involve–I just characterized it as taking care of me. I couldn’t help but think of the “brand new plan” I developed in 2017 when I hired Loraine as my caregiver. I wrote about it on a forum back then, and you can read the details there if you want. But essentially, the idea was that I’d hire someone to do everything a girlfriend/lover would do without having to deal with the emotional aspects of actual love. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it didn’t turn out the way I expected. In the end, I did fall in love with Loraine, and she broke my heart. So, I won’t be going down that road with Swan. What road lies ahead for us is unknown, but I’m not nearly as optimistic as I was before yesterday.

On my way into town at beer o’clock, I came upon some damage here in the neighborhood from Monday night’s storm:

Sloppy Joe’s was my first stop, and it was nice to see Chris and Jim already in attendance. Chris was controlling the music playlist, and before long, we started playing every patriotic song we could think of in honor of America’s birthday. My contributions included the America, Fuck Yeah! tune I featured on the blog yesterday, and some golden oldies like Battle of New Orleans, Ballad of the Alamo, and an old Army favorite, the We Are The Engineers. Let the good times roll!

After several beers, Jim said it was time for a change of scenery, and I suggested we hit Whiskey Girl. All hesitation was overcome when I mentioned that the bar featured a “buy one, get one” special until 8 p.m., and so off we went to take advantage.

Now, my personal agenda included meeting up with Kim again. She’s been messaging me daily to come see her, and I promised I’d drop in.

I made Snackbar my final stop of the night again. Lydell wasn’t working, but the owner was back in town, and I spent some quality time with her and another waitress in the VIP room, singling some karaoke. I was tasked with going first and went with an old Dolly Parton favorite I heard recently on Spotify. I followed up with my usual videoke standard, Crazy, by Patsy Cline.

Anyway, the past is the past and there is no going back, but it was good to find some closure for some long festering wounds. I’ll leave it at that.

Damages for the night out were 1080 pesos for beer and 1060 pesos for lady drinks. Hey, I spent more on me than the girls! Told ya I was a selfish bastard.

None of the Wednesday Walkers were up for a hike this morning, so I took an 8K solo stroll.

I ordered a roast beef dip with coleslaw to bring home for my lunch. While I was waiting, the Facebook memories feature popped up in my feed. And guess where I was eating and what I ate one year ago:

And there was also this happy memory from five years ago:

Today is Jee Yeun’s birthday. I sent her a hundred bucks and wished her happiness. Some wounds never heal.

I’m still legally married, but since she’s Korean and doesn’t live here, the adultery law does not apply to me. Provided I don’t mess with a married Filipina. I’m very wary of that and have managed to dodge a couple of potential bullets. This guy was not so fortunate.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep on keeping on with this life of leisure, lonely though it may be. I’ll be doing my feeding at Hideaway tonight and see where things go from there.

If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you each step of the way
And I will always love you
I will always love you

Bitter-sweet memories
That's all I am taking with me
Good-bye, please don't cry
We both know that I'm not
What you need
I will always love you
I will always love you

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope that you have all
That you ever dreamed of
And I wish you joy
And happiness
But above all of this
I wish you love
And I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you

Or saw it, anyway. Here’s how my Sunday in paradise went down.

When the hour arrived to switch into my nighttime mode, I headed into town. The first stop was Jewel Café to order food for the hungry girls at Hideaway.

I had a bit of a surprise when I saw this as I headed back up the highway:

I made It Doesn’t Matter my next stop, and was on my second beer (and first lady drink for Agnes) when I got a message from Lydell asking me to join her at Snackbar. Hmm, well, lots of places are closed on Sunday and it is on the way home, so why not? I told her I’d stop by later and she thanked me.

I was a little surprised that the ex was there, but she was her old sweet self, so I indulged her and Lydell in quenching their thirst for lady drinks. Later on, I got invited to the VIP room and played some of my favorite tunes as a DJ. I kept my emotions in check and was pleased that I didn’t let those old feelings invade my space or disrupt my new attitude. The past is the past and has no power over my present unless I allow it. So far, so good.

Logging in the money I’m spending has been an eye-opener already. It’s still early in the data-gathering phase, but I might be going a tad overboard. Granted the 2000 pesos ($40.) I paid to feed ten at Hideaway is as much an act of charity as anything, plus I get the added benefit of feeling good about myself. And in many ways, I look at lady drinks in a similar fashion. The trick for me to learn is going to be when is enough enough.

Last night’s damages:

• Lady drinks: 2,780
• Food: 2000
• Tips: 950 (that includes 500 for Joy)
• Beer: 914
• Transportation: 100

Well, I have my work cut out for me, but on the other hand, it is obvious where I’m overspending.

I woke up at three this morning and when I looked outside this is what I saw:

Later on, Swan sent me a photo of her morning coffee on what will one day soon be my living room patio:

And now it’s time to gear up for another Hash Monday. I’ve been breathing better and feeling better physically, so hopefully, I’ll enjoy today’s trail. I’m feeling optimistic, and the way I see things, life is good. Shit, I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.