My 4th of July may not have been all that magical, but it did turn out to be rather musical. Here’s how things went down:
In the category of newsworthy, this event warrants a mention: my eighteen-year-old friend Mary is leaving for Manila this week.
She had asked me for some assistance with her transportation costs, so my plan was to drop off the money after I completed my grocery shopping. I was expecting her to meet me down on the highway near where she lives, but she didn’t respond to my messages or calls. I knew the general whereabouts of her place, so I set out to find her. This involved climbing some slippery steps up through a slum village. Near the top, I saw a couple of older women sitting outside and asked if they knew Mary. It turns out she lived next door. Mary was surprised to see me (her aunt had been using her phone) and maybe a little embarrassed that I was witness to the poverty in which she lived. Yeah, it was a little shocking, but I’ll give her credit for having the courage to take the actions required to build a better life for her and her child.
Mary needed to do some shopping in town, so she rode with me and my driver to Barretto. I treated her to a Sit-n-Bull lunch, gave her some cash, and wished her good luck.
MJ came by my place later in the afternoon to pick up her weekly allowance. Her sister-in-law was in labor and will have the baby at MJ’s house with the help of a midwife. And so the cycle of poverty continues unabated.
Meanwhile, I put the finishing touches on my holiday feast.
I took some leftovers to Swan and my new landlord. Swan messaged me that it was masarap (delicious), and that led to a very strange conversation. I alluded to a “woman in the neighborhood” I’d bought the beef cubes from, and Swan asked what she looked like. This led to a whole discussion in the third person, and Swan encouraged me to reveal my true feelings about this mystery woman. I may have taken it too far because, in the end, Swan indicated all she wanted with me was a working relationship. So, yeah, I may be taking on another helper, it seems. Swan has also started calling me “boss,” and I really don’t like it, but that’s where we are, apparently.
We have yet to discuss in any detail just what her job will involve–I just characterized it as taking care of me. I couldn’t help but think of the “brand new plan” I developed in 2017 when I hired Loraine as my caregiver. I wrote about it on a forum back then, and you can read the details there if you want. But essentially, the idea was that I’d hire someone to do everything a girlfriend/lover would do without having to deal with the emotional aspects of actual love. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it didn’t turn out the way I expected. In the end, I did fall in love with Loraine, and she broke my heart. So, I won’t be going down that road with Swan. What road lies ahead for us is unknown, but I’m not nearly as optimistic as I was before yesterday.
On my way into town at beer o’clock, I came upon some damage here in the neighborhood from Monday night’s storm:
Sloppy Joe’s was my first stop, and it was nice to see Chris and Jim already in attendance. Chris was controlling the music playlist, and before long, we started playing every patriotic song we could think of in honor of America’s birthday. My contributions included the America, Fuck Yeah! tune I featured on the blog yesterday, and some golden oldies like Battle of New Orleans, Ballad of the Alamo, and an old Army favorite, the We Are The Engineers. Let the good times roll!
After several beers, Jim said it was time for a change of scenery, and I suggested we hit Whiskey Girl. All hesitation was overcome when I mentioned that the bar featured a “buy one, get one” special until 8 p.m., and so off we went to take advantage.
Now, my personal agenda included meeting up with Kim again. She’s been messaging me daily to come see her, and I promised I’d drop in.
I made Snackbar my final stop of the night again. Lydell wasn’t working, but the owner was back in town, and I spent some quality time with her and another waitress in the VIP room, singling some karaoke. I was tasked with going first and went with an old Dolly Parton favorite I heard recently on Spotify. I followed up with my usual videoke standard, Crazy, by Patsy Cline.
Anyway, the past is the past and there is no going back, but it was good to find some closure for some long festering wounds. I’ll leave it at that.
Damages for the night out were 1080 pesos for beer and 1060 pesos for lady drinks. Hey, I spent more on me than the girls! Told ya I was a selfish bastard.
None of the Wednesday Walkers were up for a hike this morning, so I took an 8K solo stroll.
I ordered a roast beef dip with coleslaw to bring home for my lunch. While I was waiting, the Facebook memories feature popped up in my feed. And guess where I was eating and what I ate one year ago:
And there was also this happy memory from five years ago:
Today is Jee Yeun’s birthday. I sent her a hundred bucks and wished her happiness. Some wounds never heal.
I’m still legally married, but since she’s Korean and doesn’t live here, the adultery law does not apply to me. Provided I don’t mess with a married Filipina. I’m very wary of that and have managed to dodge a couple of potential bullets. This guy was not so fortunate.
In the meantime, I’ll just keep on keeping on with this life of leisure, lonely though it may be. I’ll be doing my feeding at Hideaway tonight and see where things go from there.
If I should stay I would only be in your way So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you each step of the way And I will always love you I will always love you Bitter-sweet memories That's all I am taking with me Good-bye, please don't cry We both know that I'm not What you need I will always love you I will always love you I hope life treats you kind And I hope that you have all That you ever dreamed of And I wish you joy And happiness But above all of this I wish you love And I will always love you I will always love you I will always love you
maybe a little embarrassed that I was witness to the poverty in which she lived
You hadn’t seen her place up to now? Eeeeenteresting. I think Mary’s been trying to, uh, curate her public image.
but I’ll give her credit for having the courage to take the actions required to build a better life for her and her child.
Fair enough.
and yes, those are mashed potatoes.
Did you make those yourself? I hope so. Mashed potatoes aren’t hard to make.
I couldn’t help but think of the “brand new plan” I developed in 2017 when I hired Loraine as my caregiver.
Yeah, this looks to be a potential minefield if you can’t get rid of any unresolved feelings.
So, I won’t be going down that road with Swan. What road lies ahead for us is unknown, but I’m not nearly as optimistic as I was before yesterday.
I think you’ll be OK as long as you resolutely remember that life is not a porn movie, so you can’t go around randomly fucking the help while they’re trying to do your laundry.
after being on the lamb
I’ve heard of being “on the lam” before, but being “on the lamb” sounds like fun. I’ve never rolled and smoked a lamb, but I’ll try anything once. This gets back to those “eggcorns.”
When you think about it, you can’t be serious about Swan, anyway, as long as you’re getting “favors” from other women—a happy ending here, a roll in the hay with an 18-year-old there. Swan would undoubtedly want commitment. How would she react if she knew the sordid details of your life?
It’s your karma, I guess. Good luck working out its kinks.
Kev, I knew she lived poor, but it is still shocking to see it up close. It is very rare that I actually visit the gals I meet where they live.
Yes, I boiled the water, poured in the package contents, stirred it up, and viola–mashed potatoes. Is there another way?
As for fucking the help, that’s something I don’t do. I guess hands off the staff was ingrained in me after a career in Human Resources Management. That’s why I don’t like being called “boss” (another girl calls me “Daddy,” which I also find a turn-off). Anyway, Swan would never consent to sex as part of her job; that’s just not who she is. So hiring her is a tactical surrender on my part. I think she will provide me with some of the companionship I crave, but it will not be physical. Maybe that’s enough.
Jesus, I remember commenting on your Eggcorn post and saying it was just a matter of time until I fucked up. Well, I’m on the lamb, but I ain’t no sheep! And my fellow Hashers sometimes jokingly refer to our Kiwi friends as being sexually attracted to those lambs. On-On!
Back to Swan, I’m ready, willing, and able to live in a one-woman committed relationship. That’s what is so frustrating–I finally meet the kind of woman I’ve dreamed of, and she is not interested in me. At least not yet. Really, it won’t be hard to let go of those distractions; I haven’t had a happy massage or gotten physical with Mary or anyone else in quite some time. Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling better about myself lately–it’s better to go without than to pay for something meaningless.
Who needs sex when Karma is fucking me? That bitch!
Never mind dem taters. What about the garlic bread. Store-bought frozen or made by the man himself? Glad to see Mary do the right thing. Got to admit though, factory work in the PI has got to be hard. I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since the Buddy fiasco. When they say time flies, they ain’t lying. Dang, the law in the PI don’t be playing when you married with a “piece” on the side. Got to admit though,”concubinage” sounds pretty sexy. Wonder what the penalty is? Next time your at SNAckbar, in the VIP room, I think it would be appropriate my friend ,that you sing ,”I will always love you”, by Whitney Houston since you stole her title for this episode. Keep doing what ya doing McCrarey. Peace Out!
Now Soju, rest assured that I did, in fact, light the oven, take the garlic bread slices out of the freezer, and bake them for the specified period of time!
Yes, it is hard to believe my Buddy boy has been with me for 5 years already!
Prisoner to his new cellmate: Whatcha in for? “Concubinage”. Okay, you take the bottom bunk…
Oh, and Dolly Parton wrote the song, Whitney Houston made it a big hit. I like both versions.
I remember reading/hearing Dolly Parton jokingly thanking Whitney Houston profusely for all the royalties Dolly continued to receive from that song. Lots and lots of money.
Sad that Whitney’s life ended so tragically. Dolly is very talented, but what impresses me the most is her kind and generous heart.