I just canceled my Amazon Prime membership. Just like they canceled Parler.
I admit that may appear to be me engaging in virtue-signaling, but I’m powerless to do much else about it. It generated the usual pushback from my leftie friends which I expected and ignored. But there was one comment that really made me go “wow!” This is a person I’ve known for years and I consider her to be a good friend. She’s also a liberal, but back when we worked together (she was my Deputy) we would engage in long and thoughtful political discourse about the issues of the day, rarely agreeing, but at least gaining some insights and understanding. Oh, did I mention she is African-American? Not that that should matter, but this comment left me shaking my head:
Whatever! Wypipo are a trip!
You know, I’m a lot of things but one of them isn’t racist. I grew up in those long-ago days when we were taught to judge a person by the content of their character and not the color of their skin. The woman who made that comment certainly knows I’ve never acted in a racist manner. Trust me, I could not have had a successful career with the Federal government otherwise and I certainly never had a complaint filed against me. Well, except for that comment I made here at LTG about Muhammed being a pedophile. And the lawyers said I was free to express my opinion as a citizen, however “churlish”, as long as I didn’t do it at work.
Anyway, I looked up the definition of wypipo just to make sure I wasn’t misunderstanding her intent:
Wypipo is an abbreviation for “White people” that is typically used as a derogatory term to refer to racist white people. It is often used by people of color (POC) or woke white people aware of racist actions by other white people.
Ouch. Well, I didn’t respond. My simple test is to change the color to determine if what someone says is racist. So, if I were to say for example that all black people “are a trip”, I could and should be called out on it. But it is good to know what people really think of you when they slip up and let the truth out. Still shocking and painful though.
And whether I agree with you or not, I will support and defend your right to say it. Even on Facebook!
Speaking about white people, one of them has apparently purchased the property right outside the front gate to Alta Vista. It used to contain a squatter village. Now the shacks have been torn down and a barbed-wire fence erected.
The first thing he tore down was the basketball court. I saw kids playing there every day since moving here. No idea where they are now or what they are doing.
I guess I’m of two minds on this. A property owner certainly has the right to sell his land. And the buyer is free to use that land in any legal fashion. The squatters really have no “rights” in this situation. Still, I feel bad to see their already difficult lives disrupted in this fashion. A Filipina friend told me that often times in this situation the squatters are paid to leave, thus giving them the money to build a hovel somewhere else. That might be the best possible outcome I suppose. But I wouldn’t want to be that white guy building his fancy new house on this land surrounded by angry people he’s displaced. But perhaps that’s just me.
Last night I enjoyed a pulled pork barbeque dinner from the crockpot for the first time in a long time. And it was good. I made up a batch of cornbread too. Put a can of whole kernel corn into the mix. Pretty tasty!
Not bad for a white guy, huh?
Today I climbed the mountain I missed on Monday. I’ll give a full report on that adventure tomorrow. Now it’s time for darts.
Facebook reminded me that three years ago I climbed a mountain in Asan, South Korea. Don’t remember the name of the mountain now though. Haven’t seen snow like that in a long time!
We all gotta die of something I suppose, but until I read this I hadn’t considered dying of HPV as a possibility:
Having more than 10 oral sex over a lifetime partners quadruples a person’s risk for human papillomavirus-related mouth and throat cancer, a study published Monday by the journal Cancer found.
Shit, I might have ten a year! I may be doomed, but what a way to go!
If you see anything here other than a lamp all I can say is: I like the way you think!
And as long as your dirty mind is thinking of muffins, how about these sweet things:
Blueberry muffins for breakfast with leftover baby back ribs from dinner last night.
I was sticking it pretty well yesterday during my singles league dart match.
Mark is actually a solid player and the games themselves were much closer than the scoresheet might seem to indicate.
And here is how things stand after Week 8 in the Barretto Singles League:
Yeah, it feels like I’m starting to recapture some of the magic of those glory days in Itaewon…In fact, I wore my Seoul Singles League shirt during yesterday’s match hoping to play like I used to. Not there yet, but getting closer.
It was kinda funny, John Kim the owner of The Pub restaurant here, saw this photo on my Facebook page and commented: “Sea elephant? Seriously?”. I explained that back in those days my darts nickname was The Walrus. According to the Koreans I consulted, there is no word for Walrus in Korean, they just use bada kokkili . It’s all good.
After darts, I had a couple more beers at Mangos and enjoyed the sunset:
Lots of folks hanging out on the beach. Little by little, we are getting our lives back.
While I was at Mangos I got a message that my office chair was being delivered but no one was at home to receive it. She attached this picture which made me smile:
Lucky defending the house. Looks like he means business!
I was a little pissed because I had asked my helper if she would be home to accept delivery and pay for the chair and she assured me she would be there. She told me later she stuck around until 6:00 and then figured they weren’t coming. Anyway, I told the seller to just leave the chair on my porch and to swing by Mangos to pick up the payment. She agreed and I added a tip for her trouble.
So here’s my new chair. Ain’t she a beaut?
It’s actually a “gaming” chair if that makes a difference. Well, it does have two speakers alongside the headrest if you want sounds effects blasting in your ears. I don’t. Anyway, it is much more comfortable than what I had been using and should provide better back support.
My back is pretty much back to normal now. A little stiff but almost completely pain-free. I guess since I’m technically elderly now I should be especially thankful for that. I’m also very happy that I’m able to get out and hike every day. That fills my hours in a healthy way.
Speaking of hiking, I need to get ready for today’s Hash. This is the last week of the noon start time, we’ll move it to 2:30 after that. There’s an odd combination of trails today, 3, 6, and 9K. If I’m understanding correctly, the 9K is a combination of the 3 and 6K trails. The 3 and 6K require a truck ride, so as of now my intention is to do the 9K. I hate that truck!
I’m not afraid of love. Just like I’m not afraid of poison. I avoid both, because love is poison to me.
As I keep reminding myself. Actually, I’m doing better at embracing my loveless life. Some of the guys who are in relationships have even expressed some envy for my relatively drama-free life.
At least, that’s what it felt like. Bending over to pick up my shorts yesterday morning and felt this sharp pain in my lower back. Not sure what I did or what I injured, but damn, it periodically hurts like a motherfucker. Never experienced anything quite like it. I’m stiff when I first stand up, but after I walk a bit I’m practically pain-free. That’s a good thing. But last night when I was trying to sleep I’d suffer immense pain whenever I rolled over to the left. Same stabbing pain when I tried to get up to pee. It seems marginally better today so I’m hoping whatever this is is running its course. We’ll see.
Changed things up a bit yesterday and started my evening out on Baloy beach. Visited my old-time favorite Treasure Island first. I was disappointed that they didn’t have my preferred beer and frankly the service was sloppy and unfriendly. I decided to eat elsewhere. I also noticed that all my old favorites on staff are now gone. Oh well. I went next door to Da Kudos instead.
Da Kudos is owned by Mango’s and I actually knew my waitress. The menu was also the same as Mango’s, so I ordered up the roast chicken salad. It didn’t disappoint. And neither did the view from my table:
Not bad, eh?
After my meal, I walked out on the beach and this is what I saw:
I may be living a lonely life, but at least I’m living it in paradise.
I guess I got to thinking about that being alone thing. And after a few beers I posted this question on Facebook:
Am I an asshole?
That’s probably not the kind of question that is best posed on social media. But I was just curious why a guy like me found himself dining and drinking alone. Maybe I am an asshole or something similar that people prefer to avoid. The responses to my question came in about 50-50, so maybe there’s hope. I did have to laugh at this response from ex-wife #3:
Well you use to revel in your self-identification as an dick. You were delighted when the Team America movie made an argument for dicks, saying pussies needed them for protection against assholes. So no you are not an asshole. You’re a dick.
Heh. Here’s the clip she was referring to:
Damn, that being drunk in the bar fits too!
My pal Jeremy offered up probably the most thoughtful and heartfelt comment:
John, if you’re not making your intentions known, then all that people are going to see is that youre just the nice old guy. How will anyone expect that you’re looking for something more if you’re not telling them that you’re looking for something more?
Also, dont be the nice, generous guy to everyone. That should be reserved for the people that have a special place in your heart. The rest of the people should be content with friendly, easygoing John. Then, people will take notice of your intentions, and only when that happens will there be the possibility of reciprocation.
Though, before any of that happens, you have to decide if you’re going to buy a ticket. Sure, you’re going to have a lot of losing tickets, but when you hit the jackpot, it’ll all have been worth it. I mean, that’s what my Dad tells me about he lottery, anyway, but I dont think those are his views on love after fifty years of marriage, especially when considering my mom.
You’re a smart guy, John. Not only do you have to periodically examine yourself, but you must always examine the company that you keep. I hope that it works out the way that you want according to whichever way you decide.
Hmm, I’ve heard that advice about changing the company I keep somewhere before. That’s probably the bottom line; if I am indeed an asshole I need to find an asshole-lover to share my life. And until I do I’m better off alone, whether I like it or not.
Anyway, I’ll be alright. It’s my nature to never be satisfied with what I have until it’s gone. Might be time to just suck it up and embrace things as they are and stop lamenting my missed opportunities. Scary that a man my age is still trying to figure that out.
As long as we are peripherally talking about my indiscretions on Facebook, this might be pertinent:
That cracked me up.
And as a victim of the Facebook “fact-check” process, I liked this one too:
Ain’t it the truth?
Ah well, enough of this nonsense. I’m going to head out for another night of drinking alone. Hey, it’s what I do!
Welcome to the first Hash Monday early morning post of 2021! And for the first time this year I’ve got even less to report than usual. That won’t stop me though!
Speaking of the Hash, I won’t be doing the trail today. It begins with an uncomfortable ride in the Hashmobile and involves a climb up a mountain in an unfamiliar area. And oh yeah, Vienna Sausage (Guenter) is the Hare. Nope, not taking my chances! Several other like-minded folks will be joining me on a more safe and sane alternative trail.
What else is going on? Hmm, well I do get a weekly report on visitors here at LTG. Here’s a sample from the past week:
The green bar is page views, the blue unique visits, and the orange first time visits. I’m no statistician, but the fact that my numbers are pretty constant must mean that the first time visitors are mostly final time visitors as well.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like the numbers matter to me. When I first started the blog my intent was to use it as a vehicle to keep family and friends back home up to date on the happenings in my life. These days I rarely if ever hear from most of my family. I won’t deny that it hurts to be ghosted but I do appreciate the honesty–at least they aren’t pretending to care.
I also used to be a lot more political here but I eventually came to understand that others were making the same arguments better than I can and more importantly, no one’s mind was likely to be changed by anything I posted on my humble blog. So now LTG has devolved into what resembles a personal diary. I don’t even link to it from my other social media accounts–there’s a kind of freedom in writing what is unlikely to ever be read. Of course, I do have my core readers and commenters and I always appreciate the feedback and advice they provide. So, I am humbled and honored if a hundred people or so a day pop in for peek at my so-called life. I hope to prove the old adage that no man is totally worthless–he can always serve as a bad example!
Speaking of blogs and bloggers, the Big Hominid is a daily read for me. Always something interesting going on over there. Today he shared a collection of memes and this one brought back a twisted memory for me:
Jan-Michael Vincent is the only celebrity I’ve ever met in an up close and personal way. I wrote about that encounter here.
I don’t do drugs these days of course. How does that old saw go? I couldn’t kick drugs until I became an alcoholic. Or something like that. Of course, drinking brings it’s own kind of dangers, especially here in the Philippines.
Across that ramshackle plywood bridge lies the entrance to my darts bar, Alley Cats.
They’ve been working on the new drainage canal here in Barretto for going on two years now. The safety of residents and passersby must not be in the contract. There is an even more rickety crossing to get into Cheap Charlies. Of course, leaving after several beers is the REAL dangerous part. Oh well, we’ve all got to die of something I suppose. Being impaled on rebar in a ditch is at least a rather unique way to go.
And now for an update on my love life: I ain’t got one. But two of my futile attempts in 2020 still come to mind on occasion. Arlene likes to post about her new love on Facebook. Nothing wrong with that of course. But today she posted a picture that made me go “hmm”. She was very excited about “her” new house. The photo looked a lot like the one she had shown me that her now ex-boyfriend in Canada was having built. And since foreigners can’t own property here, it was being purchased in Arlene’s name. Even after she had professed her love for me, she wouldn’t end it with the Canadian because of the house. Now, I don’t know the current circumstances and it’s none of my business. Maybe the new boyfriend stepped up and bought the house for her. Or maybe she just did what a lot of Filipinas have been known to do–my name, my house. As stupid as I was for falling in love with someone who wouldn’t end an existing relationship, I’d have to say I’m one lucky bastard!
And then there’s Jessa. I mentioned sharing some drinks with her on New Year’s Eve. During our conversation that night she told me her daughter’s birthday was coming on January 6. She was hoping to find a location to have a pool party for her. I mentioned the Alta Vista community center would be a nice venue and promised to check on its availability. I did and it is. I’m even going to pay for it as a birthday gift. Jessa seemed pleasantly surprised. She’s a nice woman and I did and do care for her. When we were dating she also had an overseas boyfriend. But unlike Arlene, she did choose to end that relationship of her own volition. The problem was she expected me to become the new him. I wanted to continue dating and see how I felt before making a commitment. That was unacceptable to her and she ended it then and there. At least I guess we are still friends of a sort, so there’s that.
Words I will carry with me in 2021. Actually, I’m unlikely to need them because I’m still firmly in the “done with love” mode.
And one last tidbit of an update. Mary came by the house. It seems she has taken some sort of job in Manila. And of course, she needed transportation and rent money to get started. She was willing to earn it and to her credit, her performance was much improved since our last hookup. I still, however, have no interest in seeing her again. Helping her to get to Manila ensures she won’t be showing up on my doorstep anytime soon. I hope.
Alright, well this turned out to be a whole lot of nothin’, didn’t it? I’ll try to do better in the future. Call it a resolution!
That’s my life. And upon reflection, it’s good. Not all good and not all the time, but better than I might have hoped for. Or perhaps deserved. So, what triggered my bout of self-analysis to reach these not so profound conclusions? I blame the internet. Here’s what happened:
A question was posed on Quora: “What is something you wish you had known sooner?” And this was the featured answer:
I’m 77. I created four successful businesses, married two beautiful women (one at a time) have two great sons, and retired at 49. My life has been full. And it really doesn’t matter – none of it. I wish I’d known that in the beginning – that it all wouldn’t matter. I beat myself up most of my life trying to accomplish success and I could have had a much easier time of it. I was chasing someone else’s dream, not mine. No 14 hour days, six days out of the week. No heart attacks. No ulcers. No enemies. I could have learned the piano, painted, sculpted, read more books, learned to dance the salsa, had more dogs. At the end of life, and mine is just around the corner, the important stuff is the stuff I didn’t have time for. I can’t speak for all wealthy people, but the ones I know are pretty damn empty. We come into the world naked and we leave pretty much the same way – and there are no “Mulligans”. If you don’t get it right the first time, too bad for you. I’m too old to climb the mountains I always wanted to climb, too old to buy a dog, too old to learn to surf, too old to learn the piano. All the good stuff is behind me. Don’t get stuck in a life that isn’t yours.
Damn. Well, I’m happy to report that I don’t feel that way about my life. I don’t know that I ever really had much of a plan–I just went with the flow and it led me to this here and now. At 65 I may still have a few adventures ahead of me but I don’t expect there will be any life-changing events in store. It is what it is and I’m content to ride it out to its natural conclusion. Granted, I’m in no hurry to get to the end of days but you never know what’s left. I’m certainly not going to waste time wishing for something else.
Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. Sometimes when I am trying to ease myself into sleep mode I’ll engage in some fantasizing. No, not THAT kind, I can always pay to make those come true! I mean the fantasy of going back in time, knowing what I know now, and reliving my life accordingly. I usually imagine returning to various decision points in the past and deciding to do something different. For example, in my do-over life perhaps I’d enlist in the Army after high school. That’s something I never even considered at the time seeing as how I’d just managed to avoid being drafted. But who knows where that might have led me? One thing is for sure, in all these fantasies I end up rich beyond imagination–I’m buying all those IPO tech stocks like Microsoft, Google, and Apple!
So, while I’m in this mode of thinking about altering the past I happen upon an article in The New Yorker“What If You Could Do It All Over?”. Hmm, it seems my fantasy is actually quite popular!
“The thought that I might have become someone else is so bland that dwelling on it sometimes seems fatuous,” the literary scholar Andrew H. Miller writes, in “On Not Being Someone Else: Tales of Our Unled Lives” (Harvard). Still, phrased the right way, the thought has an insistent, uncanny magnetism. Miller’s book is, among other things, a compendium of expressions of wonder over what might have been. Miller quotes Clifford Geertz, who, in “The Interpretation of Cultures,” wrote that “one of the most significant facts about us may finally be that we all begin with the natural equipment to live a thousand kinds of life but end in the end having lived only one.” He cites the critic William Empson: “There is more in the child than any man has been able to keep.” We have unlived lives for all sorts of reasons: because we make choices; because society constrains us; because events force our hand; most of all, because we are singular individuals, becoming more so with time. “While growth realizes, it narrows,” Miller writes. “Plural possibilities simmer down.” This is painful, but it’s an odd kind of pain—hypothetical, paradoxical. Even as we regret who we haven’t become, we value who we are. We seem to find meaning in what’s never happened. Our self-portraits use a lot of negative space…
We may imagine specific unlived lives for ourselves, as artists, or teachers, or tech bros; I have a lawyer friend whose alternate self owns a bar in Red Hook. Or we may just be drawn to possibility itself, as in the poem “The Road Not Taken”: when Robert Frost tells us that choosing one path over the other made “all the difference,” it doesn’t matter what the difference is. Carl Dennis’s poem “The God Who Loves You” tries to make that difference concrete. Dennis poses a question to his protagonist, a middle-aged real-estate agent: “What would have happened / Had you gone to your second choice for college”? A different roommate, a different spouse, a different job: could it all have added up to “a life thirty points above the life you’re living / On any scale of satisfaction”? Only “the god who loves you” knows for sure. It’s an unsettling thought; Dennis suggests that we pity that all-knowing god, “pacing his cloudy bedroom, harassed by alternatives / You’re spared by ignorance.”
Swept up in our real lives, we quickly forget about the unreal ones. Still, there will be moments when, for good or for ill, we feel confronted by our unrealized possibilities; they may even, through their persistence, shape us. Practitioners of mindfulness tell us that we should look away, returning our gaze to the actual, the here and now. But we might have the opposite impulse, as Miller does. He wants us to wander in the hall of mirrors—to let our imagined selves “linger longer and say more.” What can our unreal selves say about our real ones?
Their mere presence in our minds may reveal something about how we live: “Unled lives are a largely modern preoccupation,” Miller writes. It used to be that, for the most part, people lived the life their parents had, or the one that the fates decreed. Today, we try to chart our own courses. The difference is reflected in the stories we tell ourselves. In the Iliad, Achilles chooses between two clearly defined fates, designed by the gods and foretold in advance: he can either fight and die at Troy or live a long, boring life. (In the end, he chooses to fight.) But the world in which we live isn’t so neatly organized. Achilles didn’t have to wonder if he should have been pre-med or pre-law; we make such decisions knowing that they might shape our lives…
Sorry for the long excerpt, but I found the article quite fascinating. Give it a read if you are so inclined.
This got me thinking about those crossroads and decision points I’ve encountered in my own life. The big ones that changed everything like deciding NOT to give my firstborn up for adoption or leaving my Amerian life and making the move to Korea. And the subtle ones, like walking into a bar in Flagstaff, Arizona, that put me on the road to where I am today. Would I change those decisions knowing what I know now? How could I? It would mean losing all that makes me who and what I am. I’ve come up with a workaround in my fantasies to avoid that pitfall; I basically create an alternate universe and my “real” life in this one is unaffected by any changes I pursue in the new universe. Yeah, I have WAY too much time on my hands, don’t I?
So much for looking back, let’s move on to learning. Obviously, I’m an old dog so what new tricks are out there for me to learn? But once again, the internet is here to save the day. Thanks to Althouse I learned a little about Saint Peter Damian, someone I had heretofore never heard of:
“[H]e introduced a more-severe discipline, including the practice of flagellation… Another innovation was that of the daily siesta… Peter often condemned philosophy. He claimed that the first grammarian was the Devil, who taught Adam to decline deus in the plural. He argued that monks should not have to study philosophy, because Jesus did not choose philosophers as disciples, and so philosophy is not necessary for salvation.”
My big takeaway from the above was that Satan was the first grammarian. Which is why we say “the devil is in the details”, right Kevin Kim?
Doing the devil’s work they are!
That’s enough learning for one day I think. So that leaves living.
And without sustenance, life is not possible. I ordered a chicken salad at Palm Tree and it came out looking like this. Pretty shocking, right? But even though I’d never seen a salad drawn and quartered like that, it proved to be quite tasty. I was also impressed that they served it with a whole bottle of ranch dressing instead of the tiny cups I’m used to. Living large sometimes includes dining at home. It had been a while since I made up a batch of burritos. I’m not one to brag, but damn, they were tasty!
Living a healthy life means taking appropriate steps to avoid viral diseases.
I’m by no means an anti-vaxxer, but I have some questions about this one. The kill rate of COVID is so minuscule that I fear the vaccine may be more deadly. Still, I’ll get the damn shot if it restores my freedom to travel.
Speaking of COVID, where did that killer virus originate?
Bought and paid for. And yes, politics are part of life although I’m trying very hard to make their part in mine as small as possible.Yeah, throughout my life the most meaningful moments have been the people I’ve met along the way.
And despite the inevitable ups and downs that come with living, you’ve got to keep your sense of humor and have some laughs. Luckily, I’m a very punny guy!
Don’t worry, be happy!
So, there you have it. Living, learning, and looking back. A philosophy for a lifetime.
At least until the end of days.
Alright, I’ve got that out of my system. We’ll get back to normal around here tomorrow with a report of yesterday’s crazy hike in the jungle. It was a path I should not have taken.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
I may be your destiny, but you are not my meant to be.
A Filipina’s words upon meeting me for the first time.
That was a pretty sweet rejection though. Painfully honest, but sweet. And life goes on.
A second-place finish in the darts tournament last night. The champions were far superior to me and my partner talent-wise, so I actually felt pretty good about them being the only team to beat us. Which they did twice. Like a drum.
I was feeling hungry after darts so I popped into a place called The Pub for some takeout. I’m not sure why I don’t come here more often, the food has always been quite good on my previous visits. Well, I guess it is because they don’t have outside seating as I prefer and they are not vape friendly indoors. It’s owned by a guy named John Kim, a Korean-American. The menu is varied but has a few Korean style dishes. I’d been jonesing for that crispy fried chicken I used to eat in Seoul, especially after a night out drinking.
I wasn’t disappointed. Yum!
In other news, I received my first ever Facebook fact check. Such an honor!
Missing Context The same information was checked in another post by independent fact-checkers. See Why
I mean, it is an actual Biden quote, but the “fact-checkers” say it was taken out of context and that he didn’t really have a fraud organization. Yeah, I get it and I understand it was the dementia talking. I honestly don’t care, I just wanted to keep the Facebook goons busy. Mission accomplished!
I also saw this on Facebook and I thought it sums up the current situation in the USA quite nicely:
Nope. Time for a big dose of your own medicine.
And then Facebook gave me a big kick in the nuts with today’s memories.
Back in 2012, this was my South Carolina life with Jee Yeun. I thought it would never end, at least until I did.
Oh well. All things must pass I suppose.
How about some photos from yesterday’s hike? We set out to do the portion of Monday’s Hash trail we didn’t do on Monday. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to the end with the rest of the guys. Having some lung issues lately and the uphills are more difficult than ever. I just ran out of gas and didn’t have another climb left in me. Here’s the part I did manage: (credit to Scott for most of these)
That’s me arriving at our Barretto High School meetup location.My hiking compadres for the day–Scott, Dan, Jim, and Troy.Hung out to dry.“Daddy, are they crazy?” Why yes, yes they are!Up what seemed to be an endless flight of stairs…Too late to turn back now.And then the steps turned to bags. Upward and onward!Still going up but I like it better than the stairs…Mountain living. I really don’t know how they do it.Slowly but surely.A brief respite before the final push to the top.Up we go.I think I can, I think I can…Water view.And of course, Easter mountain. Monday’s run was #1422. And so concludes another hiking post.
Bullshit! If I didn’t look back, what would I have to blog about?
Take yesterday for instance. Pretty ordinary as days go in my so-called life. Well, I did do something for the first time ever.
Baby back ribs in the crockpot ready for their slow journey to goodness.
Yeah, yeah. I’ve done ribs that way lots of times. And I usually make cornbread to go along with them. But this time I added a new ingredient to the cornbread for the first time in my life. I honestly believe I’ve never actually eaten cornbread made this way although I gather it is not unusual. So what I did was I dumped a can of whole kernel corn into the mix, after draining of course.
It didn’t make much difference in appearance after baking. I guess those little craters are a bit unusual. The texture was definitely different though. Chewier is the best description I can think of. They tasted fine but truthfully I didn’t think the corn added much to the overall flavor. I also added some honey for sweetness enhancement, but I’ve done that before.Dinner is served.
The other thing that differentiated yesterday from most days was that I made a rare trip to the mall. It’s always a bit of a pain in the ass but with these pandemic bullshit measures in place, I’d rather not be bothered. Still, sometimes necessity calls for action. I had broken my eyeglass frames the other day and my backup pair had rendered me nearly blind as some cloud-like substances had formed on the lenses and couldn’t be cleaned off. The optometrist said it was the coating that had deteriorated. My old frames couldn’t be repaired either.
New glasses were in my future and my future was now. I picked out some frames and sat for the examination. Turns out my old prescription still gives me 20/20 vision, although I’m ready to give 2021 a try. I did ask if the lenses from my broken glasses could be salvaged and was very happy that a pair of frames that fit the lens was available. Man, what a difference it made putting on spectacles that actually corrected my vision again. A good thing too because my new pair won’t be ready for at least a week.
Oh, and another pleasant surprise was that I didn’t need to wear my face shield or fill out the contact tracing paperwork to enter the mall! It pisses me off that Royal still requires that when I go grocery shopping. I guess I’ll call it progress though.
I’ll take care of my health, you take care of yours. Thank you very much.
This morning I walked past the local high school and this signage caught my eye for some reason.
I think they must have been trying too hard to make this idea work. How exactly do you advocate time? I do agree that students and teachers should strive to remain conscious though. Makes learning so much easier!
Anyway, I’ll let that piece of work speak for itself as a commentary on the quality of public education here in the PI.
Speaking of high school, back in my youth I had visions of perhaps making journalism my career. I chose a life of government service instead, although I guess now you can’t differentiate between the two as the press has gone all-in to support the deep state. These days I spend my time inflicting pain via kickass puns. I guess you might say I’m a pun dent. Ouch!
Okay, now this is actually funny. At least to us old-timers.
I reckon we’ve looked back enough for one day. I’ve got a dart tourney to attend to now.
I’m not a believer so I don’t really believe that. It’s probably just sheer coincidence. Still, it makes you think.
The first incident took place 43 years ago in 1977. I was a mailman in Anaheim, California at the time. I doubt if I ever would have even thought of the event if something I read on Quora hadn’t yanked me back in time to that fateful day. Here is the question that was posed:
I wasn’t the boss but had it happen to me. Back when I was a letter carrier with the USPS we had to “bid” on vacation dates based on seniority. Only a certain percentage of employees were allowed to be off at any given time. Anyway, I had the first week in June and another guy had the second week. A few days after the bidding was over, the other carrier came to me and said his plans had changed and would I mind switching with him. I didn’t have anything going on that week so I said sure, let’s clear it with the boss. So we approached the supervisor and told him what we wanted to do. He replied, no problem and instructed us both to fill out a leave form canceling the approved time off and then fill out another form requesting the new dates. And so we did just that.
Once he had our cancellation forms he took our names off the board showing approved leave. And then he DENIED our new leave requests saying another carrier was on extended leave and so the maximum number of carriers was already off. In other words, both of us lost our planned leave. He was gleeful as he told us and it was obvious he had suckered us into canceling our prior approved leave.
So, all these years later I just want to say thank you, Mr. Frank Nathan. Your actions that day caused me to join the union and later become a shop steward and eventually the president of the local union branch. My work with the union impressed the HR Director and she promoted me into my first management job. I had over 35 years of government service when I retired as a GS-15 Human Resources Director and I’m now living a happy life on my pension in the Philippines.
I honestly never really thought about how that incident may have played a role in changing my life. I recall being very pissed at the time and talking to my union steward about it. He agreed that the supervisor was being an asshole but he was also technically within his rights to deny our leave requests after we had canceled the previously approved leave. It was a lesson learned and one that helped me become a better leader. I’m sure you are long dead by now Mr. Nathan but you are proof of the old saying that no man is totally worthless–he can always serve as a bad example.
And then there was the thing that happened this morning. My neighbor’s wife had asked if she could join me on one of my hikes. Well, I’ve been following the advice of my commenters to the post linked above and maintaining my distance from “Judy”. But it’s nice to have company when I’m walking and really, it’s an innocent thing so I figured no big deal. We had agreed on Sunday but she sent a message saying she needed to go to church on Sunday and asked to join me today. Fine, let’s go. She wanted to meet up the road a piece, I guess so her hubby wouldn’t see us walking together. Anyway, we met up and set out. I took her out the back way from Alta Vista and then down through Marian Hills. We had to avoid some dogs and do some puddle jumping but she was a good sport about it. She really was surprised seeing some of the sights that have become old hat to me, so that was pleasant. I thought she might get tired out early on but she was a good trooper.
As we walked, we talked of course. She said her husband hasn’t been feeling well so this walk was a break for her. She told me of her efforts to gain legal status in her husband’s home country of Switzerland that has been stymied by the logistical restrictions due to COVID. Then she talked about her church. She told me she had resided in the church for several years serving as a missionary. They would go on missions to convert Catholics to the true “born again” faith. As she went on and on I asked if she were trying to evangelize me. She laughed but didn’t deny it. I asked where her church was located and she told me Olongapo City. She mentioned the name but the only part that stood out was “4th Watch”. I didn’t recall hearing that before, but it was still vaguely familiar.
About an hour and a half into our walk, along a route I take on a regular basis, we turned a corner and I saw this sign:
Over the course of several months I had observed this church being constructed but otherwise paid it no heed. But that was where I had seen that “4th Watch” term.
When I pointed it out to “Judy” she was both shocked and excited. She had no idea a branch of her faith was out here in the sticks of San Isidro. Of course, she wanted to go in and have a look-see. And this is where it got a little weird. Everyone in the building appeared to know her! They beckoned me inside and I reluctantly entered so as not to appear rude. Then we got invited into the parsonage where Judy engaged in banter with an older woman and I accepted a chair offered by a cute young woman. And then the “bishop” came in and we exchanged introductions and some small talk. The usual where are you from, are you a believer type talk (my standard response is I raised in the Pentecostal faith) you’d expect in this situation. They did comment on my Biblical name, so I dutifully recounted John 3:16 from memory. They all seemed quite impressed. Anyway, it wasn’t unpleasant and they all seemed warm and welcoming like any good Christian should be.
It was all news to “Judy” that the Olongapo church was now closed and all these people she knew from there were assigned to this new mission building. I was invited to join them for Sunday services and I was non-committal, but of course, that’s not going to happen. Not sure if “Judy” is going to make it, but it’s an easy trike ride from here. She also took pictures with me and the Bishop which made me a little uncomfortable. I asked her after we departed how she was going to explain my being there with her. She already had told them the “truth”–I was a neighbor and a friend who had graciously shown her the way to the new church building which I had discovered on my many walks through the area. Okay then.
Anyway, for the remainder of the walk, it was all about “God’s plan” and how He had used me to guide her to the new church. I finally had to make it abundantly clear that I did not now, nor would I ever, be sharing in her religious beliefs. Things got a little quiet after that. As we neared the highway, a trike driver offered a ride. I declined, she accepted. So I walked the rest of the way home alone and haven’t heard from her since. Perhaps I never will again. That would I guess be God’s will.
Although I was now walking alone, I did encounter this cutie walking in front of me:
I wasn’t sure if her shirt was yet another message from God.
And oh yeah, as I was entering my neighborhood I met “Judy’s” husband as he was walking out. We exchanged nods in greeting. It was a weird end to a rather bizarre hike.
I got to thinking (shuddup!) on my morning walk today. It occurred to me that there is no future for me to worry about. I’m not sure that this realization constitutes an epiphany, I mean, it’s not like I’ve been working towards any goal attainment or making other future-driven plans. Probably the last thing I aspired to do was finding a true and lasting love to share my life with. Having let go of that dream for good I have to face the fact that this life I’m living is all there is and all there ever will be. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that is a bad thing, I’m just consciously accepting the reality of my situation.
I’m 65 years old. What kind of future goals could I expect to achieve in the ten or fifteen years (if I’m lucky) I have left here on earth? I’m retired, so there is nothing work-related to accomplish. I’m living on a pension, so for better or worse, what I have now is all I’m ever going to have. Of course, there are things I still aspire to do, like travel, but under the current lockdown circumstances throughout the world that’s not possible. So it would seem that all my dreams are in the past. Perhaps that explains why nearly all my brain comforting fantasies involve going backward in time.
But here in the real world, this day is what I have. Like yesterday was and tomorrow will be. There is a Groundhog Day quality to the sameness of it all. Hell, you’ve read the blog. I wake up, I hike, I drink, I sleep, and then do it all over again. And again. Sure, some of the details and people around me change day-to-day, but the reality is that this life is what I’ve chosen and this life is what I’ll be living until it ends. I suspect that even the invocation of Plan B (moving to Cambodia) would only change the location, but not the substance of my life. Such as it is.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this life I’ve chosen is a bad thing. Indeed, I reckon some people would say I’m living the dream. Nothing is perfect and I have my share of disappointments and frustrations, but I honestly cannot think of anywhere else I’d want to be or that would make me happier. I’ve likened Barretto to those retirement communities I used to see in Arizona when I was a young man. But this one I’m living in is like nothing I could have imagined back then. Yeah, we’ve got our share of crotchety old fuckers but we are surrounded by brown-skinned beauties willing to service our needs and desires. And I don’t just mean sex, although that is obviously available too. I’ve got friends and acquaintances I can hang out with who share some of my passions and interests. There are the Hash and darts, and of course, the bars to keep me entertained. And every morning when I walk the dogs and look around me I’m still astounded by the natural beauty of my surroundings, even after nearly three years of living here.
So, this day and all the days to come are my future. I’m okay with that.
Yesterday’s sunset. Today’s will be the same, only different. Like tomorrow.
When I came I felt it was in the face of everything decent, white sperm dripping down over the heads and souls of my dead parents. If I had been born a woman I would certainly have been a prostitute. Since I had been born a man I craved women constantly, the lower the better. And yet women—good women—frightened me because they eventually wanted your soul, and what was left of mine I wanted to keep. Basically I craved prostitutes, base women, because they were deadly hard and made no personal demands. Nothing was lost when they left. Yet at the same time I yearned for a gentle, good woman, despite the overwhelming price. Either way I was lost. A strong man would give up both. I wasn’t strong. So I continued to struggle with women, the idea of women. –Charles Bukowski, Women
The more I read Bukowski the more it seems we have in common besides both having worked at the Post Office. Now, I don’t think I’m quite as bad as he describes himself above but I can certainly relate to the sentiment. It was especially weird just randomly coming across this Bukowski quote during my morning internet stroll. Are the Gods trying to tell me something? Nah, they know I don’t listen to reason anyway.
Maybe it also resonated because of an odd experience I had last night. I’m home after my nightly rounds at Cheap Charlies and Mango’s and a message pops up on my screen from someone I haven’t heard from in awhile. She asks me if I can give her some advice. Sure, I tell her. What’s up? Can I call you? Well, okay. I can’t remember the last time I actually used my phone for talking to someone, but why not? So, she calls and tells me her boyfriend in Canada broke up with her. I told her I heard she had broken up with him and that she was in love with someone else now. She told me no, he had ended the relationship before she started seeing the new guy. Anyway, the Canadian guy has had a change of heart and he wants her back again. What should I do? she asks me.
What am I gonna say other than my standard response. Follow your heart I tell her. If you love him and think he is the one, then forgive and forget. But I also reminded her of some of the things she had told me about the guy. Like how he believed he should be able to visit Angeles City to covert with prostitutes whenever he pleased and she would have nothing to say about it. You okay with that now? I asked. She told me that he insists he has changed and doesn’t feel that way now. Okay then, if you believe that… But then she said the breakup had been ugly. He called her a lot of names and then said “I hope you die painfully”. What? Are you fucking kidding me? He really said that? Yes, she responded, but now he says he didn’t mean it, he was just angry and upset. I told her in all of my failed relationships and in my most insane moments I had NEVER wished harm to come to a woman I had loved. I said any man who would utter such a desire is the type of narcissistic bastard who would act on those emotions if he were physically present. You asked for my advice and my advice is to stay as far away as possible from this fucked up piece of shit. She thanked me for sharing my thoughts and we ended the call.
One of those nights again. I’m laying in bed trying to turn off my brain so I can fall asleep and some random song is playing in the background of my mind. I try to ignore it as best as I am able, but with the song on a continuous loop, it starts to become such an irritation that sleep is impossible. This happens pretty frequently lately and I’m not sure if it is an indication that I’m slipping into dementia. Oh well, that didn’t stop the alleged President-elect. Last night’s song was Can’t Get it Out of My Head by the Electric Light Orchestra (ELO). Yeah, ironic I know. It’s actually a pretty good song by a damn fine band. Not my favorite of theirs though, I like Showdown better. I saw them in concert back in the 1970s and they really rocked it. But please, let an old man get his sleep!
I got my weekly meat delivery this morning. Ribeye steaks, hamburger patties, and…
Yep, a 12-pound turkey! I’m going to do my best to prepare a Thanksgiving feast at home this year.
Of course, I’m limited to what I can find at the supermarket in that regard. Yesterday at Royal I secured most of the ingredients I’ll need for a fruit salad. Items like a green bean casserole and candied yams are going to be tougher though. I’d practically kill for a pecan pie. I’m going to make the long trip to the S&R (sort of like Costco) in San Fernando soon to try and fill in the gaps. Stay tuned.
Here’s a one-minute video that captures an example of the “new normal”. Attending a meeting via Zoom can be fraught with peril!
Desperate times call for desperate measures I suppose.
This is week one of the Barretto Singles League in darts. I have my first match this afternoon. Been busy updating the stats for the games already played. What a pain in the ass. Surprising how much I’ve forgotten since the last time I managed a dart league. It should get easier once I’ve re-learned the Excel spreadsheets.
Let me throw a couple of memes at you to fill in space here:
Already bought and paid for!But I guess there is still some small hope…Is that you, Kevin Kim?Facebook reminds me that it was one year ago today that I was captured by the Philippine Navy. You can re-read that adventure here if you are so inclined.As seen on this morning’s walk, it’s rice harvesting season here apparently. And as you can see that fresh rice must be dried. And what better place to do so than in one lane of a two-lane bypass highway. Amazing.Ah, and this love poem by James Kavanaugh also popped up in my Facebook memories today.
Well, I think I’m in love with the idea of being in love. The reality of it, not so much. The other morning while I was out walking I saw Iline and her new love walking together ahead of me. It got me thinking in ways that I don’t want to be thinking so I crossed the highway and walked in the opposite direction. Perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be. Or maybe I really do have a guardian angel up there saying “Jesus! Hasn’t he been hurt enough?” Heh. I’ll be fine.
Midnight, on the water I saw the ocean’s daughter Walking on a wave’s she came Staring as she called my name
And I can’t get it out of my head No, I can’t get it out of my head Now my whole world is gone for dead ‘Cause I can’t get it out of my head
Breakdown on the shoreline Can’t move, it’s an ebbtide Morning, don’t get here tonight Searching for her silver light
And I can’t get it out of my head No, I can’t get it out of my head Now my whole world is gone for dead ‘Cause I can’t get it out of my head, no how?
I’m a side-sleeper. Sometimes after sleeping a while on my left side, my shoulder will start to ache, so I roll over. That worked fine up until a few days ago, when I awoke after sleeping on my right side with excruciating pain in my neck and back pain. Just rolling over again felt like being stabbed. Oddly enough, once I change positions, the stabbing pain subsides to a dull ache. In the morning, when I’m up, the only lingering impact is having a stiff and sore neck with a somewhat limited range of motion. Not sure what’s up with my neck, but I hope it goes away soon. Not my neck, the pain I mean.
As long as we are on the subject of my health, today marks one week into the new low(er) carb diet routine. The results from today’s weigh-in: 207.8. That’s down 3.2 pounds so I’ll call that progress. Other vital stats include BP at 132/86 and a resting heart rate of 61 BPM. I reckon I can live with that. Provided I don’t die on trail or get run over by a Jeepney on the highway.
Today being Sunday I treated myself to breakfast out.
The view from my table at Treasure Island Resort on Baloy beach.My low carb breakfast: ham, cheese, and mushroom omelet with coffee. Hold the toast and hashbrowns.
Being in a beachy mood I did my morning walk on one.
Since the tide was low I took the beach route to the old Navy base.Still had to climb over those damn rocks though. They are higher than they look, perhaps that lone fisherman gives some perspective. Also, I mistimed one of my jumps and an incoming wave soaked my feet. Oh well.Nothing to do but to enjoy the day you have as best as you are able.
And that’s just what I intend to do. Nikole is due shortly to provide my weekly massage. After that, I’ll head back out to Baloy for a dart tourney.
Well, I do enjoy some paid-for company now and then, not that I need it.
Or maybe this post is down and dirty. One of those.
I enjoyed the sunrise this morning.
There’s a rainbow in there somewhere.Zoom doesn’t help much. Sorry, my phone camera just doesn’t see things the way I do.
Anyway, just a quick update on my love life. I still haven’t got one. But that’s okay. I did get some news about Iline (remember her?) that left me feeling a little disconcerted. A friend of mine who wasn’t privy to my former relationship with Iline mentioned that she had met a friend of his and they have fallen madly in love. He also told me that she broke things off with her Canadian boyfriend when she met this new guy. What could I say other than good for her. Still, that was the one thing I wanted her to do before I went all in and she wouldn’t or couldn’t do it. Granted, I never asked her to, in fact, I intentionally left it entirely up to her–do what makes you happy–was how I left it. She wanted it both ways though and in the end, I had to walk away. Not without feeling some pain and regret though. So maybe this news tells me all I need to know about who she is and what we had. Perhaps I am indeed the lucky one. Oh, and I removed all the password protection from my previous posts about her. She’s free of the former boyfriend now so her cheating with me is no longer an issue.
In unrelated but somewhat coincidental news, I heard from Mary yesterday for the first time in a long time. She’s the sexy 22-year old I met on the street a few months back. Last I’d heard she was working in a bar here in Barretto. Our final get-together had been completely unsatisfying and I was resolved to be done with her for good. Well, she gave me the whole song and dance about how she misses me and wanted to see me. I reminded her of our last encounter and she promised this time she’d do better. I told her that I wasn’t going to pay her 5000 pesos again and she said that was fine–pay what I want or nothing at all. Hmm. Well, I had to give her credit for upping her game over these past couple months. I guess working in a bar will do that. After some back and forth I finally relented and agreed to meet her.
Turns out my original instinct was correct. She was 30 minutes late and as standoffish as ever. Still looked smoking hot though. Oh well, took her upstairs and did the deed, and once again it was less than special. While she was in the bathroom afterward, she messaged me asking if I would give her 5000 pesos. I simply responded “no”. As she was leaving I stuffed 3000 pesos in her pocket and told her that’s the going rate for a short time in Barretto and then I sent her on her way.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Oh yeah, now I remember. I’m a whore. Might as well embrace it. I blame Joe Biden!
Life goes on despite the occasional wrenching experiences.
Worth a couple of minutes of your time if you are in need of a smile.
A very nice walk this morning with my Friday group. More on that tomorrow. Time for me to get out and about. It is almost gin and soda o’clock!
And so it begins. Again. I can no longer pretend not to notice that large protrusion around my mid-section popularly known as a beer belly. How it got there I haven’t a clue but I’ve resolved to take appropriate actions to make it go away.
Yes, Google is my friend and the WebMD tells me my beer belly may come from my consumption of beer. Go figure. Also, unhealthy eating habits like indulging my sweet tooth and other high-calorie carbohydrates. This usually happens after I drink a few beers, so I guess there is some correlation. So what to do about it? Well, the web is full of advice, most of which comes down to diet and exercise. Tell me something I don’t already know!
I don’t expect I’ll have six-pack abs, but I want to get rid of the keg I have now.
Truth is, I do get plenty of exercise in the form of walking. Admittedly my step count has fallen off somewhat of late, averaging around 18,000 steps daily rather than the 20,000+ I used to do routinely. I’m going to work on bumping that back up but I’m also planning to add some strength training as well.
Nothing real dramatic though, just some resistance band training and using the ab wheel to strengthen up those stomach muscles.
The real challenge will be in reducing my calorie intake and regaining some discipline when it comes to just saying “no!” to the foods I enjoy, like ice cream and other sweets. That’s why I had that big breakfast of French toast yesterday; just my way of saying goodbye. For a while at least.
Compare and contrast to this morning’s breakfast–no bread at all!
So, this is basically my plan: I’ll have a big breakfast and skip lunch. If I get hungry, I’ll eat something healthier like nuts or a slice of cheese. I’ll cut out the sweets as much as I can too. No big ass bowls of ice cream but maybe an occasional strawberry smoothie. What am I forgetting? Oh yeah, the beer. Hmm. I do drink low carb, low-calorie beer now but I’m drinking too much of it. Starting today I’ll cut way back on the beer consumption. I’m thinking I’ll indulge on Hash day because beer is all that is available. On other nights when I’m out and about I’ll switch to something carb-free, like gin and soda water. I’ve already checked with my favorite bars and I was pleased to find that they all stock soda water so I should be good to go.
I’ve done this regimen before. Dropped 70 pounds in about 18 months by taking up walking and engaging in some dietary discipline. I weighed in this morning at an even 211 pounds. My goal is to bet back under 200, so that means at least 12 pounds have got to go. I’d actually like to drop around 20 pounds and then try and maintain a healthy for me weight of 195.
Two years ago when I was back home in the USA I was happy to discover I could still wear my letter carrier jacket. I think it would be a tight squeeze now.
What else is going on? Well, everyone is these parts is waiting expectantly for Super Typhoon Rolly to roll in. I thought it was due to hit in the wee hours of this morning but I hadn’t noticed the times in the tracker were GMT. Arrival is now expected tonight around 9:00. Looks like it is going to be a doozy, probably the strongest storm I’ve seen since moving here. Rolly is hitting at the same time as high tide and word is there will be a storm surge of 2 or 3 meters. So flooding could be an issue for those near the beach. Rolly is also packing big winds and that could cause some damage, especially for those who are living in shacks and squalor already. I guess my worry about loss of power is meaningless, comparatively speaking. Still, I’m fully prepared to suck it up and book a room at Mango’s should the need arise.
It was clear an hour ago, but now the rain has arrived. Good thing I got my morning walk in at least.
So here’s your daily dose of mask litter porn.
Speaking of porn, you should see my ass. Almost a week after taking my spill during the Hash, my butt is still sore. Here’s why:
Just be thankful I cropped out the crack. You are welcome!
It’s highly unlikely I’ll be doing a Hash tomorrow. For one thing, Guenter is the Hare again. For another, there’ll be a frickin’ typhoon. I’m hoping things have moderated enough that I can do a bar crawl type trail. We’ll see.
And that’s it from here on this rainy Sunday. Wish me luck!
I’m feeling very positive in fact. This study seems to confirm something I’d heard several months ago–type O blood is less susceptible to the COVID virus than other types. I guess Jesus really does love me!
Speaking of good, so was my dinner last night:
I enjoyed my weekly fix of grilled pork chops at Mango’s. As tasty as they look!
Did a beach walk on Baloy yesterday and observed some interesting flotsam (or maybe it was jetsam):
Wilson, is that you? Where’s Tom Hanks?Oh shit! I was afraid to look under the hat to verify identity though…
On a more serious note, things seem to be going south in Thailand. I was there for my first and only visit four years ago this week. At the time I couldn’t shake the police state vibe. It doesn’t seem like things have gotten better since then. Despite really enjoying Bangkok, I knew back then that Thailand was not a country I could live in comfortably. Hell, I don’t even want to go back for a visit. Give me Cambodia, Vietnam, or Bali as alternatives should I need to relocate. I still need to check out Malaysia and Laos as well.
My neighbor is from Switzerland and he erected this flagpole on top of the non-working water fountain in our cluster of houses. He did a good job and I thought it was a nice touch to include the American flag. One of the two remaining houses is being rented by a Dutch guy next month. Not sure what he will do then.
Anyway, I’m going to keep it short today. I’ve got lots of photos from this morning’s hike to share tomorrow. In the meantime, a word of warning to all you grammar Nazi’s out there: STOP BEING RACIST!
One of the changes brought about by my COVID-era lifestyle is that I’m sleeping better. Hell, I’m a regular 9 to 5 guy these days. My sleep score, as measured by Fitbit, is in the mid-80s as opposed to the 60s pre-COVID. One aspect of that higher score is an increase in the amount of REM sleep I’m getting. I had an hour and a half of that last night and with it came some intense dreams.
Don’t worry I’m not going recount the dream here and talk about possible hidden meanings. Much. Suffice to say it was work-related and I was a human resources hero doing some really important shit. Even got to fuck with China! I’d wake up to pee, go back to sleep, and the dream continued from where we’d left off. It was a long night’s work!
And I guess that’s the thing I was left with upon waking this morning. I miss the meaning and purpose that my working life provided. That’s probably pretty common, but damn, it’s been two and a half years since I last worked for pay. This makes me wonder if the life I’m currently living is so devoid of fulfillment that my poor subconscious has to pretend I’m working again. On the other hand, maybe the whole purpose of retired life is to step away from the stress and pressure that comes with working and to live a simple life doing the things you enjoy.
Well, I honestly do enjoy my hikes. Especially the ones with my various walking groups on M-W-F. Y’all have seen the pictures, what’s not to like? My social life of late is mostly me and a bottle of beer but I’m invariably joined by the setting sun.
Last night’s company.
And yes, I do hang out with people some too. I don’t feel particularly close to anyone in my life, but then, that’s not really different than it’s ever been. My life is what it is and I’m glad to have it. Work and love are both four-letter words and they are both a part of my past. Hey, past has four letters too!
Pretty much.
A good long walk today and I’ll post about that tomorrow. I did spend some time under this tree waiting for the other guys at our meet-up spot:
As lovely as a poem.
Anyway, time waits for no man. And Tom Waits hates bad writing.
Sorry for any pain I’ve inadvertently caused you, Tom.
That’s it for now. I hear Trump has the COVID virus and I wish him well. I honestly believe if Biden were somehow to ascend to the throne it would be the end of America as we know it. And not in a good way.
Every time when I look in the mirror All these lines on my face getting clearer The past is gone It went by, like dusk to dawn Isn’t that the way Everybody’s got the dues in life to pay
I know nobody knows Where it comes and where it goes I know it’s everybody sin You got to lose to know how to win
Half my life Is books, written pages Live and learn from fools and From sages You know it’s true, oh All the things come back to you
Sing with me, sing for the year Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear Sing with me, if it’s just for today Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Dream on Dream on Dream on Dream until your dreams come true
I’m sure it comes as no surprise to my faithful readers that Mango’s beach bar is my favorite place to hang out and enjoy a cold beer after a hard day of being retired. And now I have achieved the coveted status of “regular”. How do I know this? Well, I’m Facebook friends with the manager (a woman I’d love to get to know better), the bartender, and the waitress. They always seem happy to see me, almost like family.
And of course, every day I get to enjoy views like this one.
Anyway, I popped into Mango’s for a quick one after Monday’s Hash. The place was packed which is very unusual given the current COVID situation. I was disappointed to see my favorite seat on the outside patio was occupied. Oh, well. I shrugged and told the bartender and manager I’d come back another time. So I went next door to Palm Tree and had a perfectly acceptable evening with the same view.
Then yesterday at about my regular beer drinking time of 5 p.m. I get a message from Mango’s bartender: “your seat is ready and waiting for you, Sir John.”
Well, I’ll be damned. Being a regular does have its privileges.
They have even stocked my beer of choice, San Miguel Zero. I need to lose this beer belly after all. Anyway, it is nice to have found my new bar home, a feeling I haven’t enjoyed since those Itaewon days at Shenanigans.
It’s somewhat odd but these days I’ve found that I do not like drinking inside. I was never much for the girly bars anyway, but even a place like the dart bar, Alley Cats, seems cramped and depressing. I just like to sip my beer and watch the world go by nowadays. Maybe that is a vestige of being a grouchy old man. I don’t know about that, but I know what I like.
Like anywhere I suppose, there are good days and bad days. Yesterday’s beach view was not nearly as pleasant as normal.
So, I thought I heard a Scottish accent. Are you gals from Scotland I asked? They rudely answered NO, WALES! So then I said “fine, are you whales from Scotland?”
Yeah, it’s an old joke but seeing these ladies made me think of it last night. And to be clear, I have no issue with fat girls enjoying beach time. Just very unusual to see around here, that’s all.
Here’s an update on the situation with my married neighbor, “Judy” I wrote about here. Taking the advice of my readers to heart, I’ve pulled way back and taken a wait and see attitude. If and when she is a free woman I’ll consider giving her a go to see what happens. I mean, it’s not like I’m going anywhere or actively looking for love or anything. Judy has continued to message me a lot and I give short, almost non-responsive, answers–i.e., I ignored her “I love you” entreaties. I guess she didn’t like my new approach much. I received this message from her this morning (I’m posting it verbatim. This is what passes as decent English in these parts. Still, it is better than my Tagalog):
Jonh,sorry for everything if what ive done to you,for all the thing that i hurt YOU,im so sorry,but i wanna say thank you so much for your care suport àttention and everything,i feels like i fource you,ok jonh i just ganna let you go but what ever happened in my life im so thankfull that i have you in my life even in a short while thank you jonh,i appriciated everything your goodness and kindness for me,mybe this is my life that i need to be alone thanks jonh very very much.i love you, babye,always be take care your self,dont for get that okbye expect that i dont send you a messages anymore,thank you and GOD BLESS YOU.
You know, I feel like she is a good woman trapped in a horrible situation. Still, it is one of her own making. Or maybe she really does love the loser she married. Not my problem though and this is one time I’m glad I wasn’t stupid enough to get sucked into all the drama. I responded with a good luck and wish you well message and haven’t heard from her since.
Meanwhile, Facebook shared a memory with me from 8 years ago:
That’s me and my current wife at the East Sea. I captioned the photo back then “when you find the right one, don’t let her get away”. Of course, she did get away and changed my life forever in the process.
This morning I cooked up a batch of chili con carne. Although it turns out the carne was pork. I saw ground meat in the fridge and went to work. When my helper came downstairs she told me it wasn’t ground beef. Oh well, it worked. Not my favorite though.
The cornbread is excellent though. Thank you, Marie Callender!
A very pleasant hike with my Wednesday mates today. I’ll post about that tomorrow. And don’t forget to check in on Kevin Kim’s marathon walk to Busan. He’s on Day 3 already and posting some great photos from the journey.
I guess the only thing of interest going on other than my normal walkaholic/alcoholic life would be my budding relationship/romance with a married woman I call “Judy”.
Just a quick recap: I first met Judy several months ago. I had an immediate physical attraction to her and over the course of several in-passing conversations I became enamored with her wit and humor. And that’s all there was to it because I knew she was married and unavailable. Until the day Judy came to visit my helper and told me she wanted to have a talk with me. Turns out, she shared my feelings of attraction and also the understanding that it was an impossible situation. She was having problems with her husband but would not break her wedding vows or her religious convictions to be with another man. Obviously, I had no cause or desire to object to that. One of the issues she was having with her spouse was his refusal to have any involvement with her adult children, including financial support. Her daughter needed some money to continue her college education online and I agreed to help. Judy was of course very grateful, but otherwise that was that.
Until the day she came back to my house and tearfully revealed to me and my helper that her husband had told her he would be leaving her by the end of the year and moving to another country. Judy seemed devastated by the news despite the fact that her husband appears to be a selfish asshole. My advice was circumspect, basically just telling her to look to the future, not the past. That it seemed to me her husband had given her a wonderful gift of freedom to pursue whatever life she desired. We also connected on Messenger and have been chatting frequently ever since.
One of the things we have talked about was how we both wished we had met six years ago. Judy says I am the man she always dreamed of and she would have been much happier with me than her husband. I admitted that I had also considered how my life would have been different if I had moved to the Philippines in 2010 instead of taking the detour of marrying Jee Yeun, I also said that perhaps the fates would provide us our chance to be together sometime in the future. Judy has hinted about having a secret rendevouz but I told her as long as her husband is around it is not worth taking a chance. If he is really going to leave the country in a couple of months it is better for us both to wait. Judy was accepting of taking that approach.
Since that time her messages are full of how much she misses me, wishes she could see me, dreams about me, and on and on. The other day she even invoked the “love” word. Alright, I admit that kind of talk makes me more than a little nervous. It’s too soon for one thing. If and when the time comes when Judy and I can pursue a proper relationship we can discover together how compatible we truly might be as a couple. I mean, we’ve never even kissed. I’ve told her she needs to slow down and take things one day at a time and we will see what the future has in store for us. It doesn’t seem to be working though.
I’ve also got a problem with being someone’s rebound option. I don’t want Judy to think that once her hubby is gone I’ll be there to pick up the pieces. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. But if we are together it will be because it is the right love at the right time. I’m not a safety net or the next best thing. Given what I know about her husband (admittedly only what she has told me) I’m reasonably sure she would be trading up, as unlikely as that may seem given my own sordid history. Again, who knows and we won’t know until such time as we spend time together and find out. That’s just not possible right now so I need her to focus on the present, not some dreamed of future with me that may never happen anyway.
Another thing that is on my mind is that going into a new relationship immediately may not be in Judy’s own best interests. She told me in one conversation that her parents still live in her province on another island and that she owns land there. Her dream has been to develop the property and live there one day. Judy’s current husband won’t even permit her to visit her parents or her children. I know that sounds outrageous and my thinking when she told me is what kind of person would permit an abusive man to isolate her from family. Sadly, Judy’s personality and religious beliefs have caused her to be subserviant to this guy’s desires. She sees it as her duty to take care of her husband faithfully and without complaint. Yeah, that’s fucked up, and yeah my being in the picture now has created a lot of cognitive disssonace to the depths of her soul. She tells me she cries a lot these days.
Anyway, I am going to hold steady and try to avoid doing anything stupid. I’m content to wait and see how things play out without my getting physically involved. I do have feelings for Judy and I feel like I have some part to play in her future. In my thinking that may very well be helping her return home to her family and living that life. I have no plans to join her there but would be happy for her if that proves to be her best option.
Meanwhile, I’ve got my walks and I’ve got my beer. Not being in a relationship and not worrying about not having one are actually easier done than I ever imagined they would be. I’m going to be just fine on my own. If Judy is truly what she appears to be, perhaps I’ll trust her with my heart one day. Time will tell.
Watching my head, holding my face One more evening gone to waste No longer do I know my place Killing time and missing my cues Watching her belong to you Tears could only change my view
Take the L out of lover and it’s over [
Growing up has always been tough Good intentions never good enough I would take you far away Do anything to make you stay
Hash Monday which means an earlier than usual post and less than usual to post about. I actually did some serious blogging this morning in the comments to yesterday’s post. Go check them out if you need more substance.
Günter is the Hare today which means I’ll be making my own trail. I’ll have a covey of the new girls trekking with me so I’ll try to keep it light and as fun as possible. More on that tomorrow.
Last night I changed things up a bit and did my drinking at Cheap Charlies. It’s my second favorite bar and a lot less solitary than the time I spend at Mangos. Even got to enjoy a nice sunset from there:
What’s not to like?And shortly thereafter the moon came out.
I do try and avoid politics here at LTG because arguing about shit on social media isn’t going to change any minds. Besides, one of the advantages of living overseas is to not have all that bullshit in your face 24/7. Still, I do spend a couple of hours each morning catching up on the news from back home. It should come as no surprise that lefty heads are exploding over the Supreme Court vacancy. The hypocrisy of calling the Republicans hypocrites on moving forward with the nomination of a Ginsberg replacement is off the charts. Check out this collection of what the same Democrat leaders were saying in 2016 versus what they are saying now. And this takedown of Senator Dick “stolen valor” Blumenthal is priceless. Both worth the quick read involved.
Alright, let’s clean our palate with something for the foodies out there. I mean, I post some pics of stuff I cook here pretty frequently but the guy who created this masterpiece is a frickin’ genius:
Yummy!
And the only other thing going on is me staying strong in the face of what feels like an active pursuit by my married friend “Judy”. I’m tempted but not quite that stupid. So far.
Stay tuned for more adventures! Gotta run now. Well, hike. But you know what I mean.
My dinner plans last night for a pulled pork sandwich and coleslaw at Sit-n-Bull were thwarted by an early evening thunderstorm. I opted to pop into Mangos when the rain started instead.
Here’s how it looked just before the big storm hit:
A rainy Bay…
I had to retreat inside from my regular patio perch because the water was blowing all over me out there. I wound up sitting at the bar and then realized I was sitting on the stool the recently deceased Philip used to occupy. I couldn’t help but think of the lonely guy parallels and wondered if I too would wind up dying alone. Yeah, pretty depressing train of thought so I decided to distract myself but checking in with the internet. And there I noticed that James had left a comment on my post from earlier in the day:
Both of your exes are wishing you happiness. A double dose of happiness and a long rejuvenating walk followed by a beer with a view of the ocean.
You are living the good life that we can only hope for.
Well, yeah. When you put it like that I am indeed pretty damn blessed. Sometimes you just have to take a step back see things as they are instead of how your messed up brain is interpreting reality. It made me recollect that I had wasted my year in Pyeongtaek being depressed about what I didn’t have. Looking back now I see that I had it made: great pay, nice house paid for by the government, some good hiking and biking trails, and bars that were fun to hang out in after dark. I should have taken advantage of those days by making them happy ones. So, I don’t want to repeat that mistake here.
And right about the time my mood was improving, the rain stopped and I moved back outside to the patio.
After the storm.
Then I ordered up some dinner and had a nice chat with Gee, the Mangos manager. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned her before or not. I was crushing on her a while back and asked why she was still single. She told me “I guess I just haven’t met a guy who is my type”. I said we should get together for dinner sometime. She responded, “you’re not my type”. Ouch! We’ve talked some more since then and I think we might have more in common than she realized. She invited me to participate in some of her charity projects and I was happy about that. No, I haven’t given up on my vow of singleness already. And I never promised to be celibate either! Anyway, I have no expectations with her beyond friendship.
The grilled pork chops were outstanding!
I left Mangos in a better mood than I had been when I entered, and not just because of the beer. Given that I had still had some time on the clock with the expanded curfew, I popped into Queen Victoria to see what was up. It’s been a while and the staff that remembers me were friendly and welcoming. That’s always nice. Chatted some with the manager and it looks like Queen Vic might be a new On-Home venue for the Hash later this month. That would be great for me as it is the closest bar in town to my house.
I stumbled on home and for whatever reason didn’t sleep well. Had a crazy dream in which I was working again and slapped a co-worker friend on the ass in jest. And I got canceled for it which seemed to be an overreaction. Oh well, I’d have to really fuck up to lose my pension. I guess if Biden gets elected my money might not be worth anything, but I’ll worry about that in November if need be.
I woke up to this beautiful sunrise and remembered each new day is mine to make the most of.
I used the morning hours hiking out the old Navy base and back. That was about 12K. I’ll never do it on a weekday again though. Too much traffic and inconsiderate drivers along with an inadequate shoulder are a potential recipe for disaster. No need to push my luck.
So, that’s my perspective on things.
Now some they do and some they don’t And some you just can’t tell And some they will and some they won’t With some it’s just as well
You can laugh at my behavior That’ll never bother me Say the devil is my savior But I don’t pay no heed
And I will go on shining Shining like brand new I’ll never look behind me My troubles will be few
Goodbye stranger it’s been nice Hope you find your paradise Tried to see your point of view Hope your dreams will all come true Goodbye Mary, Goodbye Jane Will we ever meet again Feel no sorrow, feel no shame Come tomorrow, feel no pain
