Or at least I hope to be. Today is the first day of my new diet and exercise discipline program. I got on the scale this morning for the first time in months and was shocked to see just how far I’d regressed and how much work lies ahead as I strive to reach my goals. So, I begin this journey at 254 pounds (115 kgs), and my target is 195 pounds (88 kgs). I’m going to need to be a BIG loser, indeed.

I did a search this morning looking for some tips on losing belly fat and found quite a bit of information like this from Healthline, with eighteen science-based tips for busting a gut. I also got a laugh at how they danced around the gender issue:

We use “women” and “men” in this article to reflect the terms that have been historically used to gender people. Your gender identity may not align with how your body responds to weight loss. Your doctor can better help you understand your circumstances and weight management goals.

I guess if they know what a woman is, they aren’t saying. Anyway, none of the tips were things I hadn’t heard before, but they reinforced the things I know I need to do to achieve significant weight loss. I’ve been down this road before. I’ll be going with a low-carb, reduced-calorie approach coupled with increased exercise. That means overcoming my addiction to ice cream and other late-night sweets as a start. I also need to do better at reducing foods that provide empty calories and/or do little to squelch the impulse to overeat. I know what to do; I just need to keep focused and disciplined enough to accomplish my mission. Wish me luck.

I’ve added a tracking app for carbs and calories to my phone to help me monitor my performance. It also tracks exercise. The latter may prove the biggest challenge. I had to limit my Sunday solo walk to 4K this morning because my left leg was acting up again. Next time, I’ll bring my trekking pole cane as a crutch against excuse-making.

Oh, and every website I looked at for advice recommended reducing alcohol intake by ridiculous levels. Two drinks a night? Get real! Now, I am already drinking low-calorie beer (60 per bottle), and I plan to drink fewer beers per week than my current consumption level. I will also occasionally fill in the gap with the gin and soda water routine. I’ll need to do better this time at limiting my intake of that more potent beverage to avoid the faceplants that accompanied my previous attempt to replace my beer calories.

Anyway, baby steps as I move forward. I had bacon without toast for breakfast this morning. And I’ve elongated the morning dog walk to almost 2K.

Here’s a better view:

And my pain-induced shortened morning walk:

I limited my lunch intake to some celery sticks and a couple of tablespoons of peanut butter. I’m on my way!

In other news, this article in the New York Post about the most promiscuous nationalities was interesting. Americans average 10.7 sexual partners over a lifetime, which ranks us at only 15th in the world. The Aussies lead the pack with 13.1 lifetime couplings. Well, I’m not here to brag, and I really don’t keep track, but I’d hazard to guess I’ve had well over 100 sexual encounters over the years (I lost my virginity at 15). Hell, I’ve had more than ten since moving to the Philippines. Hmm. That gives me an idea! Maybe I need to incorporate sexercise into my weight loss regimen. Something to consider in my quest for a healthier lifestyle.

My last pre-diet supper was a healthy one. I went to John’s place, got an order of bulgogi and some Korean-style chicken wings to go, and took them across the street to Hideaway to share with the girls.

I’ll be cutting my Hideaway visit short today because the Hash is having a bar crawl as part of the anniversary celebration. We are starting at It Doesn’t Matter at 5:00 p.m. Where we’ll go from there remains to be seen.

Today’s humor is grammar themed:

Back with more of this goodness tomorrow. But soon, I hope you’ll be seeing less of me.

Life goes on.

I don’t care much for this old Beatles tune. I like it even less when played at an ear-splitting volume and sung in Tagalog. Even more so when it is being broadcast from somewhere over the river.

I told my helper in disgust that playing something that loud would get you arrested for disturbing the peace back in the USA. She matter-of-factly responded that it was election season (voting is on the 30th) and that song was part of the campaign for one of the candidates. Wow. I had to invoke my mantra: Deep breath. Relax. Accept the Filipino way.

The big event in my day yesterday was a visit with Dr. Jo and her hubby, Chris. We discussed my leg issues, and she had me demonstrate where the pain and numbness emanated. They believe I’m experiencing sciatic nerve issues and suggested I get an MRI to confirm that diagnosis. So, I’ll try and get that done on Tuesday at Baypointe Hospital. I also agreed to have the surgery I require to remove the nasal nodules that are blocking my sinuses at Clark Medical City in Angeles. Dr. Jo will make the arrangements through a physician friend and has assured me I’ll receive the best care available with a competent surgeon and anesthesiologist. I warned Dr. Jo that I’d never speak to her again if I don’t wake up after the operation. Anyway, we are shooting for early November.

I also discussed my plans to begin a weight loss effort. My belly is just ridiculous, and it seems like it came out of nowhere. Dr. Jo said that weight gain is one of the side effects of the steroids I was taking in an effort to open my sinuses. I had wondered about that because I really hadn’t undergone any significant lifestyle changes in diet or exercise prior to the explosion in weight. I asked about a diabetes drug called Mounjaro that studies have shown is also effective for weight loss. Dr. Jo and Chris both thought the side effects associated with that medication were not worth the risks involved. As an alternative, they recommended I try a drug (metformin) that reduces blood sugar (my latest blood work showed my levels were above normal) and has also been shown to help with weight reduction. And so, I have added another pill to my daily regimen (this one is taken once a day after eating dinner). I plan to officially begin my diet on Sunday, and I intend to reduce my carbohydrate intake and increase my daily exercise routines. Stay tuned.

When I returned home after my doctor’s visit, Swan prepared me a tasty lunch.

Beer o’clock inevitably rolled around, so I headed into town. And yes, I will be reducing my beer intake as part of my diet plan. I had a couple of free drink coupons at Johansson’s I’d earned at the dart league on Wednesday, so I put them to use to start my night. I ran into Sean, a former Hasher I hadn’t seen for a while there, and we had a nice catch-up conversation that lasted for three beers.

I decided to visit Oasis bar again and take advantage of their opening week fifty peso beer promotion. I was surprised to see Jim, Simon, Ken, and Steve there, and I pulled up a stool and joined them. Four beers later we moved up the road to Cheap Charlies. What an experience that turned out to be.

There was a “two-week millionaire” (what we call tourists who go nuts in the bars) present. He self-identified by ringing the bell (buying all the girls a drink for 1500 pesos) FOUR times in the fifteen minutes it took me to finish my only beer there. Of course, the girls were going crazy over his generosity (and getting drunk), so they were happy. But here’s the thing. The bell-ringer was sitting with three or four girls, and the rest, including my two favorites, were just scattered around the bar. Even so, Alma and Nerissa completely ignored me. It felt like being invisible. Now, I get it when a guy is buying a girl drinks she’s his for the duration. Although I’ve also had girls tell me, “My regular is here; I need to go to him,” and that’s okay with me, too. But last night, “my” girls weren’t seated with the drink buyer, although I guess they didn’t need what I usually provide them. It was a good reminder that despite what I pretend to believe, I mean nothing to them beyond a drink commission. I left after one beer.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I was surprised to see Nerissa standing down there, and I let her know how disappointed I was and that I wouldn’t be coming back to see her again. She just gave me a blank look. Yeah, I was a little buzzed by now and should have just kept my mouth shut, but whatever. That’s the bar life.

I made Wet Spot my nightcap venue and wound up having a very pleasant conversation with owner Daddy Dave. He’s a retired physician and agreed with the course of action I intend to pursue on the road to better health. So, it was a nice finish to the night.

In the land of Facebook, one of my friends had a post that spoke to me.

Have you ever thought: “I’m fat.” “I’m old.” “I’m not enough.”
I was young once.
To all my Male friends from 50 years and up:
Most of us are going through the next phase of our lives.
We’re at that age where we see wrinkles, gray hair, and extra kilos.
We see the cute 25-year-olds and reminisce. But we were also 25, just as they will one day be our age.
We aren’t the “boys” in their summer clothes” anymore.
What they bring to the table with their youth and zest, we bring our wisdom and experience.
We have raised families, run households, paid the bills, and dealt with disease, sadness, and everything else life has assigned us.
Some of us have lost those who were nearest and dearest to us.
We are survivors. We are warriors in the quiet.
We are Men, like a classic car or a fine wine.
Even if our bodies aren’t what they once were, they carry our souls, our courage, and our strength.
We shall all enter this chapter of our lives with humility, grace, and pride over everything we have been through, and we should never feel bad about getting older.
It’s a privilege that is denied to so many.
Men, I challenge you to copy and proudly paste with your picture and age. Recently turned 68! and grateful to reach such an age…. 

I almost never do the copy-and-paste thing, but those words resonated with me somehow, so I made an exception and did so. I’ve gotten more than the usual number of likes on that post.

Also from the land of Facebook, I get several humor sites in my news feed, including one of my favorite comics, The Far Side. This one showed up today (although looking at it now, I see this is not an actual cartoon from Gary Larson):

And on the subject of humor, this one gave me a chuckle:

I couldn’t find the Tagalog version, so here’s the Beatles:

Back home to my Barretto routines, such as they are. Fed the gals, beers at IDM and Sloppy Joe’s, then back to the house for sleep. At least I have running water again. Maybe the ambivalence I’ve been feeling is just one of those things that are part and parcel of growing older. I’ve been feeling the effects of age physically for a while now, but this dysphoria aspect is also a struggle at times. Or maybe I’ll shake it off and regain the comfort of blissful ignorance once again. Regardless, I’m in for the duration, and hopefully, I’ll avoid subjecting my faithful few readers to future posts like this one. Bear with me!

It’s odd realizing that your mind isn’t what it once was. Maybe that goes away as the mental deterioration progresses. Joe Biden certainly doesn’t appear to possess an ounce of self-awareness these days, so perhaps I’ll stop caring one day soon. I’m especially bad at remembering names these days. I see people all the time that I recognize but can’t place in a “where do I know them from?” kind of way. I can see it in my writing, too; I’ve always sucked at punctuation, but nowadays, I’m leaving out words or using the wrong word, even though I know better. Their is nothing more embarrassing than that, is they’re? That’s an intentional example, of course, but it happens with increasing frequency. As bad as what I post here may be, you would hate to see what I catch when proofreading.

On the flip side, it is bizarre that I remember obscure things like old song lyrics from records my dad played when I was a child. Today, when I saw the cartoon I posted above, I remembered back in my pothead teen years reading what we called underground comic books. My favorite was R. Crumb and one of his monk-like characters, Mr. Natural. The memory that was triggered was of the comic below:

Alright, that’s enough of this navel-gazing. I have a life to live, such as it is, and part of that life is the Monday Hash. I’m going to attempt at least part of the trail and see how the leg holds on the ups and downs of the off-road.

Speaking of hiking, I’m now on day three of my Incheon to Busan cross-country Korea trek.

Of course, I’m only vicariously doing the hike. Kevin Kim is doing all the heavy lifting. You can join in the fun, too, by following along with the journey’s progress here. Happy trails!

Greetings from barangay Pundaquit, city of San Antonio, in lovely Zambales province. I am safely ensconced in my comfortable room at Monty’s and enjoying my mini-vacation from the land of no running water.

The 35K from Barretto to Pundaquit would be all in a day’s walk for Kevin Kim. He’s just begun this year’s top to bottom of South Korea trek (635K), so be sure to follow along at the link above. Sitting at the bar in Monty’s last night, I imagined what his average daily hike of over 30K would be like. Then I thought about walking from Barretto to Pundaquit. Nope, I don’t think so. Not in this lifetime anyway.

Arrived here late in the afternoon, so didn’t do much other than get settled in. I’ve been to Monty’s before, so the isolation that comes with it wasn’t a surprise. It was a little strange to be the only guests on a Friday night. I guess the locals were not out and about or went somewhere else to grab a beer.

I lasted at the bar until seven or so and was the only customer (other than Swan). Then it was back to the room and early to bed. I did make arrangements for an island boat tour this morning, and I’ll post about that adventure tomorrow. Later this afternoon I’ll hire a trike to take me to my favorite Pundaquit watering hole, The Car Wash, for the night’s beer ingestion. There is supposedly going to be a live band to provide some additional entertainment. Should be fun.

In the meantime, I’ve got your daily humor dose ready to go:

Maybe I should feel more guilty about posting memes:

For my closing number, I was going to use one of my favorite Neil Young songs, “Down By the River,” but I discovered I’d already used that song for a post last year. And then I came across a song called “Riverside” that I’d never even heard of (nor the singer, Agnes Obel) before. I kinda liked it, though, so here it is:

Those hours aren’t going to fill themselves, so here are my contributions from yesterday.

It had been quite a while since I’d last taken a stroll on Baloy Beach, and I remedied that with a visit for my morning walk.

Despite this being a relatively short walk, the leg was acting up, so I decided to give it a rest at the Treasure Island Resort.

After my breakfast, the leg had rejuvenated, and I walked back home without any issues.

Got home, rested, blogged, and booked my hotel for tonight and tomorrow at Monty’s in Pundaquit. I’ll be San Antonio bound early this afternoon, hence the rare morning post here at LTG.

As beer o’clock neared, I went back to my room at the Pub Hotel and showered up for my evening on the town. Clean and freshly shaven, I started things off with a visit to Sloppy Joe’s. Chris and his gal Sheryl were there, and I enjoyed some chat and the tunes Chris played as the DJ.

It was nearing dinner time, and I had a hankering for the best pulled pork sandwich in town, so I headed up the highway to John’s place.

When I left John’s, I decided I should keep with the day’s theme of doing what I hadn’t done for a while, so I paid a rare visit to Blue Butterfly bar. I was the only customer in the outside area, and four or five gals were sitting around looking bored. Well, I wasn’t going to buy them all a drink, but which one do I reward? So I decided to use one of my jokester tricks. I called the waitress over, asked for another beer, and told her “and get a lady drink for the bitch.” The waitress looked totally confused and asked who’s that. I responded you should know better than me. About this time one of the girls spoke up and exclaimed, “I’m a bitch!” And she got the drink.

I attempted to explain the humor to the waitress and told her it was just a ploy, but she insisted she was not a bitch and would never say she was. Oh well. I gave her a nice tip instead of a drink.

Next up was Mugshots, another seldom-visited bar. Nothing is wrong with the place; I just have more options than my limited capacity can satisfy. I did my nightcap at The Green Room and enjoyed watching some pool games by a very skilled player. Then it was back home for a bowl of ice cream and a refreshing night’s sleep.

Another issue associated with a lack of water is an inability to do laundry. Luckily, there are options for dealing with that.

Today’s song is a classic by Judy Collins. I checked Wikipedia to see if she was still alive, and amazingly, she is (born in 1939). She has had a hard but interesting life. I also learned that “Who Knows Where the Time Goes” was written by Sandy Denny, a British folksinger. Her life ended tragically at only 31 years old.

Sad, deserted shore, your fickle friends are leaving
Ah, but then you know it's time for them to go
But I will still be here, I have no thought of leaving
I do not count the time

For who knows where the time goes?
Who knows where the time goes?

I joined in with the Wednesday Walkers for yesterday’s hike. My participation was contingent on it being a primarily flat street walk. The other group members were amenable to doing so, and off we went. The route we selected was a little over 8K, but I figured I could bail if my leg started acting up. Almost from the beginning, I was feeling the pain and weakness that have become a sad fact of life for me. Early in the hike, our path passed right by my house, and I had to overcome the temptation to bail out. I’m glad I continued because after about 3K, I stopped thinking about the pain (or it went away) and enjoyed being back out and about. Here’s a slew of pictures of scenes I would have missed if I had given up:

I ended my hike at The Pub hotel where I booked a room for Wednesday and Thursday night.

1300 pesos ($26) per night. That’s an expensive cleaning. Water was hot and wet, so I’m not complaining.

The Wednesday feeding at Hideaway was a little off. One of the gals was celebrating her birthday, and by the time I arrived at 4:30, they were all well on the way to being drunk (they had a bottle and were making their own drinks). The table was already full of food and cake, but I contributed a platter of spaghetti to the mix. I stayed for about an hour then moved on to Cheap Charlies.

I did my nightcap at Wet Spot and called it an early night. Not a bad day all and all.

I have also booked lodging in Pundaquit (San Antonio) for Friday and Saturday. If I’m going to pay for a room to shower, I might as well enjoy a change of scenery while I’m at it.

I’m glad that it appears my walking days aren’t over just yet. I still don’t have the confidence to head for the hills though. The ups and downs put a lot more pressure on the knee weak point of my leg, and falling down out in the wild can have some dire consequences. Hopefully, things will improve over time, but for now I’m a flatlander. Just call me a road warrior!

…Tuesday is for the show.

In addition to the shopping excursion to Royal for groceries, I visited a couple of furniture stores to fill some voids at my new dwelling. I found what I was looking for at a surplus store in Subic.

Those purchases emptied my wallet of 37,000 pesos ($650), but it should make the living a little easier for us all.

The big news of the day was a message from Subic Water saying that a major pipeline was being repaired and service to Alta Vista would be unavailable for approximately one week. Who needs water, right? Well, not to worry, Subic Water is sending a truck around every other day to fill the water tanks in the neighborhood. The only problem is my house doesn’t use a tank; we are connected directly to the water line.

I guess I’m not old-fashioned. I booked a room in town for the next two nights. I’ll just use it to shower in the comfort of hot, running water. That’s the premium you pay for a first-world lifestyle, I suppose. I’m tentatively planning to get out of town for the weekend, probably to San Antonio. If I’m going to pay for a room, I might as well have a bit of a vacation while I’m at it.

I began my imbibing at Sloppy Joe’s and ran into Jim there, so we shared the camaraderie of drinking buddies. Several beers later, it was time to move on, so we made our way to Whiskey Girl and drank some more. It was nice to see my waitress friend Jenn again, and I was glad to quench her thirst for lady drinks. When I’d had my fill, I said good night and headed out. Since I had to walk to the trike stand at Baloy, I popped into Snackbar for my nightcap. My oh my, how that place has changed. And not for the better, in my opinion. The new owner has reduced the waitress staff to two gals. So now it is basically just a drinking bar without much opportunity for female companionship. That’s fine, of course. Especially if you enjoy drinking with a nice view of the 7/11 parking lot. Me, not so much.

And so ended another day in paradise. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you all about the walk I took today. Now, it is time to check into my hotel and take a shower. Then, I’ll feed the Hideaway girls and fill the remaining evening hours in the usual way with my Filipino pal, San Mig Zero.

Tuesday, afternoon
I'm just beginning to see
Now I'm on my way
It doesn't matter to me
Chasing the clouds away

Something, calls to me
The trees are drawing me near
I've got to find out why
Those gentle voices I hear
Explain it all with a sigh

I'm looking at myself, reflections of my mind
It's just the kind of day to leave myself behind
So gently swaying thru the fairy-land of love
If you'll just come with me and see the beauty of

Tuesday afternoon
Tuesday afternoon

Friday felt like I ran out of gas. Today, I just feel old and tired.

I’m also dealing with a sore throat, some acid reflux, and a feeling of lethargy (did I spell laziness wrong?). Took a longer than normal nap and now I’m just going tough it out until I feel young again.

I kind of had a nothing-burger of a Saturday night. I invited Swan to join me for dinner, but she was busy with a tutoring session. She promised we’d have a date next weekend. So, I made my way to Sloppy Joe’s and drowned my loneliness in some San Miguel Zeros. The cute little waitress from Sit-n-Bull brought me a menu, so I ordered a chicken burger for dinner. I had a couple of beers at Alaska, then a couple more at Wet Spot, and I called it a night and was home by 8 p.m. Told you I was old!

I’m going to test the leg again later this afternoon with a hike to Hideaway for the Sunday feeding. We’ll see how I feel after that.

In other news, it was good to see one of my former dart mates has made it to the pro level. Back in my glory days, I was his mentor, well, tor-mentor, usually kicking his ass in our matches. But he kept getting better, and I didn’t, and the last year I played in Seoul, he got his revenge by dominating me.

This is the best pun I could find today:

Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow.

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that I experienced some issues with my left leg during the hike. Here are a few photos from that abbreviated adventure.

I grabbed a lunch to go from Sit-n-Bull (chicken enchilada), ate, napped, showered, and ventured into town for my Friday evening entertainment. I decided to forego the SOB this week. Joy messaged that her kids needed medicine and that she was hoping to earn enough commission to buy them some. So, I surprised her with a visit to Hideaway and the requisite lady drinks that come with such a visit. I also had a pizza delivered for the girls.

Hideaway is about the furthest bar from my house in Barretto; getting there proved to be a bit painful. I was fine when I started, but then the tingling returned when I had to do a brief uphill exiting Alta Vista. I started feeling numb as I walked the highway. I had to traverse two small steps at the back entrance to Hideaway, and each time I stepped up, my knee buckled. I didn’t fall either time, but I could have. Bear in mind, this was before I’d even had my first beer. I was already thinking about what I might experience on the way home. Joy offered to massage my leg, and I assented, but it was painful. Then I had her briefly do the other leg so I could compare, and it hurt, too. So, I decided the pain was from her rubbing, not the muscle.

I had planned to pay a visit to Cheap Charlies, but as I contemplated climbing the stairs to get there, I had second thoughts about the wisdom of doing so with a bum leg. I enjoyed my time at Hideaway but wanted to get out before dark, so I paid my tab and gave Joy a 500 peso tip to buy the medicine she needed. The leg felt a little weak but otherwise fine, so I stuck to my original plan and climbed the two flights of stairs to the rooftop at Cheap Charlies.

I enjoyed some drinks and chat with Alma and Nerissa and bought them some pancit from Foodies downstairs for supper. Then I did my nightcap at The Green Room and headed home.

Swan asked if I wanted to join her for some Netflix, so I prepared a dessert (pecan pie a la mode) and sat beside her on the couch. She had queued up a movie called “Morbius.” I’d never heard of it (I wasn’t into Marvel comics growing up) and had no idea what to expect. Maybe my ignorance made it more entertaining, at least it held my interest enough to make it to the end. Lots of things don’t these days. Reading about it today I see that it got generally bad reviews.

It was raining this morning, so it gave me a good excuse to give my leg a rest.

Today marks one week in my new digs. I still have some furniture to buy (nightstands, a dresser, and a table for under the TV), but I’m settling in. I probably shouldn’t be surprised, but things sound different in my new location.

Anyone up for a tour of the new place?

There’s also a guest room that, for now at least, is Swan’s space.

And there you have the latest update from my so-called life. Thanks for coming by.

I got nothing but time
No time for living
I used to be somebody
But that was so long ago
Look around but you won’t see me
Just a picture of what I used to be.
There ain’t nothing to set me free
Without a leg to stand on

Something weird is going on with my left leg. I first noticed it Wednesday evening while crossing the National Highway en route to Hideaway. I had to go from a walk to a jog as I had misjudged the speed of an oncoming Jeepney. When I took the first step in running mode, my knee gave way. I somehow managed to regain my balance and avoided falling down on the road, which may have been fatal if the Jeep were unable to stop. The leg felt weak afterward, but there was no pain. After a few beers at Hideaway, I felt fine, so I walked to Harley’s for the meet-up with my friend. By the time I reached Baloy Road, the leg was acting up again–it felt numb, and I had a slight limp. I took a trike home from Harley’s, so the leg got plenty of rest.

On my morning walk yesterday, I felt a twinge in the leg early on, but I kept going, and eventually, the leg felt normal again. You might say I walked it off. Today for the Friday group hike, we took a Jeepney all the way to Castillejos for a long loop walk. About a kilometer into that trek, the leg flared up again. This time, the more I walked, the worse it got. I pressed on until the 3.5K mark, and then it felt like my knee was going to collapse. I miraculously found a trike to take me back to the highway. Until it ran out of gas about a half kilometer from our destination. I hoofed it the rest of the way without much problem, then caught a Jeep back to Barretto. After the rest during the ride, the leg feels normal again. I’ll test it out again tomorrow and see how it holds up. It would really suck to lose my ability to hike. Still, I was thankful we were on the pavement today. I’m not sure what I would have done if we were somewhere up in the hills.

Last night, I began my beer-drinking ritual in Calapadayan for the grand opening of a new “resort” called 13 One Three. It was formerly known as Hunter Jo’s Inn and was a regular stop in the Hash On-Home rotation. Monday night, the Hash will be returning to One Three to give it a try.

It’s a fifteen-minute Jeepney ride from Barretto, so I don’t expect I’ll be a regular visitor here, but it’s a nice change of pace from the same-old, same-old once-in-a-while. Last night, the guests received a free beer upon arrival, and you could purchase a beer card for 500 pesos, good for six more. So, I had my seven and headed back to my little town.

It was too early to call it a night, so I camped out at Wet Spot for a bit and had a nice chat with some visitors from Angeles. These guys have been in the PI for over twenty years, and it was interesting hearing their perspectives on how things have changed. All in all, it was a good evening out.

Facebook memories reminded me of the night six years ago that I helped Loraine celebrate her 50th birthday on the beautiful island of Boracay. I was still living in Korea then and Loraine was slated to become my caregiver in retirement.

Three weeks later, we were professing our love for one another. A love that lasted two days before she shattered my heart. I wrote about that in a post entitled “FUCK ME!”

We are still connected on Skype and this morning I sent the picture above and wished her a happy Birthday. This was her response:

Hi John
Thank you very much!
Nice and very memorable photo.❤️
Hope all is well for you.
I’m doing fine and thankful to God for all the people who became His channel of blessings for me and my family.You’re one of them.😊
Thank you very much and take care always.❤️

Hmm, a channel for God’s blessings. I’ve been called worse, I suppose. Still, it is good to remember your past, no matter how painful, so you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Not that that has ever stopped me before. Knowing and doing are two different realms. I’ve still not mastered the latter. And for the record, I am happy that Loraine says she is doing well.

I had another blast from the past when I checked to ensure I hadn’t used the “out of gas” post title before. That led me to read this post about a typical day spent with my most recent lost love. I don’t know if there was an intended message for me from the Love Gods, but I couldn’t help but note that mundane twenty-four hours included eating and drinking together, walking the dogs together, and doing the group hike together. Perhaps it is high time I got my shit together. Lots to think about.

Friday night is on the horizon. I’m thinking I’ll forgo the SOB tonight. We’ll see where I wind up.

Is everything all right?
I just called to say how lost I feel without you
Miles away
I really can't believe I'm here and how I still care about you

Hearts can break
And never mend together
Love can fade away
Hearts can cry
When love won't stay forever
Hearts can be that way

Is everything the same?
Do you ever think of me and how we loved one another?
Will you change your mind?
Will you want me back again or have you found yourself a new lover?

Hearts can break
And never mend together
Love can fade away
Hearts can cry
When love won't stay forever
Hearts can be that way

Is everything okay?
I just thought I'd write a song to tell the world how I miss you
'Cause each and every day
I think of all the words I never said and all the chances that I had to

Hearts can break
And never mend together
Love can fade away
Hearts can cry
When love won't stay forever
Hearts can be that way
Hearts can be that way
Hearts can be that way

But wait, there’s more! Like the photos from the Wednesday Walkers street and beach walk in Matain, Calapacuan, and San Isidro.

Later in the afternoon, I did the Wednesday feeding of the Hideaway girls. On the way there, I got a call from an old friend I had not heard from in several months. I met her shortly after she arrived in Barretto a couple of years ago when she participated in one of our group hikes. I tried courting her, but she rejected me as a potential boyfriend after a couple of dates. She hooked up with an alcoholic instead (and if I use that term to describe someone, you know they must be bad). She joined him in his European homeland, and based on her Facebook posts, she seemed to be having a good time. I noticed the drunk guy was back and with a new girl and was wondering what happened to her. She asked if I would meet her at Harley’s for a chat, and I agreed to do so.

So, she told me her sad tale, which didn’t come as a surprise to me. I reminded her of the loser she came to Barretto for and the one she left with and asked if she detected a pattern. And yeah, I get the irony of me pointing out the relationship failures of others. Alas, she expressed no regret about the one who got away. She’s moving back home to her province today, so we said our goodbyes, and I departed with John Greenleaf Whittier echoing in my head: “For of all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these–it might have been.”

The move has not allowed me to escape from the construction noise I suffered at the old place, but at least now the work is to my benefit.

So, my days as a would-be Sugar Daddy are over and done with.

You know I’m a punny guy, and this meme was right up my alley:

Thanks. I’ll be here all week.

It’s too soon to say but things don’t seem so different. I’m going to give it some more time before making up my mind once and for all. In the meantime, life goes on.

The big excitement at Royal was finding a frozen Sara Lee cherry pie on sale for 50% off. How could I refuse?

Of course, man does not live by dessert alone. So, while the pie baked, I got busy setting up my grill.

Around beer o’clock, Swan and my helper departed for a shopping expedition in Olongapo. Left to my own devices, I ventured into town and found myself nursing a beer at Sloppy Joe’s. Jim was there with Rob, another hiking group member, so I joined them at their table. A couple of beers later, Rob left for darts, and Jim and I moved on to The Green Room. I enjoyed watching Jim get his ass kicked by a waitress in a couple of pool games. They both played well, so it was entertaining to watch. After more beers at Voodoo, we paid a visit to Alley Cats, where the dart tournament was still in progress. Once Troy was eliminated from the tourney, we continued our bar crawl with a stop at Queen Victoria. Jim and Troy moved on to Lux, but I’d had enough and headed home.

I slept alone again. Heavy rains during the night woke me up twice. But with the sunrise the storm subsided.

I’m refraining for now from commenting on other aspects of my life until I get things sorted out. No need to rush to judgment.

My first morning wake up in the new place. I rose a bit before five, enjoying my morning coffee as I scrolled my favorite blogs on the internet. Then I glanced out my window and saw this:

I spend a lot of my home time at my desk, or should I say, on my laptop, so I decided to take advantage of those windows to the outside world:

I had coffee on the patio with Swan before she left for her Sunday “me” time.

Lots of questions about what happens next are filling my head, but the rent is paid in full for the next twelve months, so I don’t need to hurry to resolve them.

I went back to the old place and fetched Lucky today. He was sheepish around me but allowed me to leash him up and walk him to his new home. I’m leaving him out in the yard for now until I can decide whether he can be trusted again or forgiven for his transgressions against his master.

I’ll be doing the Hideaway feeding later since I’m home alone anyway. After that, who knows? I reckon it will involve my partaking in some additional San Mig Zeros. Hey, it’s what I do best.

Here’s a chart I came up with to illustrate the likelihood of my giving up the bar life:

And I’m not a whiz in the kitchen, but I’m thinking I could make this low-calorie meal:

And this one struck just a little too close to home:

One day at a time and see what happens next. That’s the mode I’m in. But, I’ve got both feet firmly on the ground so I won’t have far to fall if things go wrong.

I get this feeling I may know you
As a lover and a friend.
But this voice keeps whispering in my other ear,
Tells me I may never see you again.

'Cause I get a peaceful easy feeling.
And I know you won't let me down
'Cause I'm already standing
I'm already standing
Yes, I'm already standing on the ground