Something weird is going on with my left leg. I first noticed it Wednesday evening while crossing the National Highway en route to Hideaway. I had to go from a walk to a jog as I had misjudged the speed of an oncoming Jeepney. When I took the first step in running mode, my knee gave way. I somehow managed to regain my balance and avoided falling down on the road, which may have been fatal if the Jeep were unable to stop. The leg felt weak afterward, but there was no pain. After a few beers at Hideaway, I felt fine, so I walked to Harley’s for the meet-up with my friend. By the time I reached Baloy Road, the leg was acting up again–it felt numb, and I had a slight limp. I took a trike home from Harley’s, so the leg got plenty of rest.
On my morning walk yesterday, I felt a twinge in the leg early on, but I kept going, and eventually, the leg felt normal again. You might say I walked it off. Today for the Friday group hike, we took a Jeepney all the way to Castillejos for a long loop walk. About a kilometer into that trek, the leg flared up again. This time, the more I walked, the worse it got. I pressed on until the 3.5K mark, and then it felt like my knee was going to collapse. I miraculously found a trike to take me back to the highway. Until it ran out of gas about a half kilometer from our destination. I hoofed it the rest of the way without much problem, then caught a Jeep back to Barretto. After the rest during the ride, the leg feels normal again. I’ll test it out again tomorrow and see how it holds up. It would really suck to lose my ability to hike. Still, I was thankful we were on the pavement today. I’m not sure what I would have done if we were somewhere up in the hills.
Last night, I began my beer-drinking ritual in Calapadayan for the grand opening of a new “resort” called 13 One Three. It was formerly known as Hunter Jo’s Inn and was a regular stop in the Hash On-Home rotation. Monday night, the Hash will be returning to One Three to give it a try.
It’s a fifteen-minute Jeepney ride from Barretto, so I don’t expect I’ll be a regular visitor here, but it’s a nice change of pace from the same-old, same-old once-in-a-while. Last night, the guests received a free beer upon arrival, and you could purchase a beer card for 500 pesos, good for six more. So, I had my seven and headed back to my little town.
It was too early to call it a night, so I camped out at Wet Spot for a bit and had a nice chat with some visitors from Angeles. These guys have been in the PI for over twenty years, and it was interesting hearing their perspectives on how things have changed. All in all, it was a good evening out.
Facebook memories reminded me of the night six years ago that I helped Loraine celebrate her 50th birthday on the beautiful island of Boracay. I was still living in Korea then and Loraine was slated to become my caregiver in retirement.
Three weeks later, we were professing our love for one another. A love that lasted two days before she shattered my heart. I wrote about that in a post entitled “FUCK ME!”
We are still connected on Skype and this morning I sent the picture above and wished her a happy Birthday. This was her response:
Hi John
Thank you very much!
Nice and very memorable photo.❤️
Hope all is well for you.
I’m doing fine and thankful to God for all the people who became His channel of blessings for me and my family.You’re one of them.😊
Thank you very much and take care always.❤️
Hmm, a channel for God’s blessings. I’ve been called worse, I suppose. Still, it is good to remember your past, no matter how painful, so you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Not that that has ever stopped me before. Knowing and doing are two different realms. I’ve still not mastered the latter. And for the record, I am happy that Loraine says she is doing well.
I had another blast from the past when I checked to ensure I hadn’t used the “out of gas” post title before. That led me to read this post about a typical day spent with my most recent lost love. I don’t know if there was an intended message for me from the Love Gods, but I couldn’t help but note that mundane twenty-four hours included eating and drinking together, walking the dogs together, and doing the group hike together. Perhaps it is high time I got my shit together. Lots to think about.
Friday night is on the horizon. I’m thinking I’ll forgo the SOB tonight. We’ll see where I wind up.
Is everything all right? I just called to say how lost I feel without you Miles away I really can't believe I'm here and how I still care about you Hearts can break And never mend together Love can fade away Hearts can cry When love won't stay forever Hearts can be that way Is everything the same? Do you ever think of me and how we loved one another? Will you change your mind? Will you want me back again or have you found yourself a new lover? Hearts can break And never mend together Love can fade away Hearts can cry When love won't stay forever Hearts can be that way Is everything okay? I just thought I'd write a song to tell the world how I miss you 'Cause each and every day I think of all the words I never said and all the chances that I had to Hearts can break And never mend together Love can fade away Hearts can cry When love won't stay forever Hearts can be that way Hearts can be that way Hearts can be that way
Normally, I’d recommend walking something like that off, too. I’ve had the occasional knee buckle, and I attribute it to a momentary neurological thing: maybe a particular nerve that’s normally firing suddenly decides to take a break and leave me (almost literally) in the lurch. If you think this is happening too frequently, though, it could be a more acute neurological thing, so you might consider seeing your docs about that. I’d say hold off on the doc visit for a day or two to see whether there’s a pattern. If you think you see one, then by all means visit the docs. From your post, it seems you’re going to do something like that.
Still, it is good to remember your past, no matter how painful, so you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
That may be the best joke you’ve ever told.
Not that that has ever stopped me before. Knowing and doing are two different realms.
It’s always interesting how people can be so self-aware yet still prone to making the same mistakes. I include myself in that, of course, since I’m a people, too.
Will you change your mind?
Will you want me back again or have you found yourself a new lover?
Yeah, that’s a typically American sentiment which leads to the pendular bullshit I see all the time when at least one half of the couple is American. “Oh, of course I keep in touch with my exes!”—which leads to getting back together, fighting, then breaking up again, usually in an endless cycle of stupidity. I’ve seen it with my friends in the States on many occasions. From the American point of view, the Asian (maybe specifically East Asian) tendency to just cut people off permanently seems childishly immature: mature people should still be able to talk civilly with their exes, right? But in my experience, an ex represents temptation, an invitation to fall back into the pit one escaped from. And too many Americans, in their rush to show how “mature” they are, end up back with their exes and go through the whole retarded cycle all over again. The irony is that this giving-in to temptation is itself childish, so the American has no moral leg to stand on when criticizing the Asian. Cut the ex off, I say. It’s better for your peace of mind and minimizes drama. Plus, life is far too short to waste on that sort of bullshit. There are other fish in the sea.
(I’ll make an allowance if a person has had a kid with the ex. The kid is a reason to keep in touch.)
Yes, I will continue to monitor the leg problem. I had some issues on the walk into town last night. We’ll see how it goes on my morning walk. The prospect of the knee giving out and me hitting the ground is disconcerting.
I’m still Facebook friends with all of my former wives. Also, my high school sweetheart. There is almost zero actual contact though, and usually nothing more than a happy birthday or Merry Christmas. So, it is not about keeping a door open in the hopes of reuniting someday. In my case, I think both parties would find that idea repugnant. But the past connections represent memories of times once shared together, and I believe there is value in holding on to that.
I’m still Facebook friends with all of my former wives. Also, my high school sweetheart.
I’m pretty sure that, if you lived down the street from any of these gals, instead of way over in the Philippines, there’d be trouble. I mean, look at all the trouble you make for yourself where you are. Yeah, being near your exes would be bad. You can get away with remaining in contact with them because you’re on the other side of the planet. Heh.
In my case, I think both parties would find that idea repugnant.
Yeah, yeah—easy to say. I’m almost positive the repugnancy would be absent had you followed a different life-path. Now, of course, given your general preference for young chickadees, you’d look at these ladies—all close to your age—and be like, Ewwwww. Menopause! They smell funny!