I finally made it out to the third of three floating bars here in my quaint little village of Barretto; the Kokomo’s floater. Smallest but in some ways better than the ones at Arizona and Blue Rock. For one thing, zero drink pressure (although the girls are as thirsty as ever, they do wait to be asked!). I think the smaller size creates a more friendly vibe as well.

My only real complaint I guess was the comfort room situation. One toilet for everyone on board and no pooping allowed. Well, I don’t care about pooping in a public toilet anyway, but sometimes the wait time for peeing was extraordinarily long. I almost peed my pants once while I was waiting. And of course the culprit was one of the waitresses whom I suspect was busy with something other than urination. Oh well, I survived.

For the second time of the day I was recognized by a bargirl which is always a little disconcerting. The massage girl on the floater asked me if I remembered her, I shrugged and shook my head. She said she used to give me a back rub at Rum Jungle. Oh ok. Nice to see you again. Earlier during the day while walking with Justin an hour from the house and in an unfamiliar and somewhat dicey looking area, I observed a cute young gal with a sweet ass. As I was admiring her beauty, she turned around and gave me a smile. I of course smiled back. Then she said “hello, John”. I was gobsmacked because I had no idea who she was or how she knew my name. So I just said “um…” and stood there looking confused. She said “I work at Cheap Charlies”. Ah okay. Well, I know I’ve never bought her a drink (I have a set of regulars for that). I’m definitely going to look for her next time I’m there though. Wish I had had the good sense to ask her name. Oh well, I’ll find her. And I know where she lives. Damn, wouldn’t this make a great love story?

Later today will be the “candy run” Hash. We will walk the streets of Baretto and hand out candy to the street urchins sweet children we encounter. Justin and Marissa will be making their virgin appearance with the Hash. That should be fun, especially witnessing their initiation ritual during the after-Hash circle.

I’m in the process of baking a carrot cake today for the holiday. Christmas dinner tomorrow will be at Mango’s.

Best wishes to you all for a special holiday season and a very merry Christmas!

Justin and I gave the Blue Rock floating bar a go yesterday afternoon. It’s anchored off Baloy Beach and is similar to the Arizona floater but without all the bargirl drink pressure. I like that!

There’s one more floating bar yet to visit, Kokomo’s, also on Baloy Beach. Maybe tomorrow.

After the floating bar, Justin went off to play Trivia at Alley Cats bar and I headed over to Cheap Charlies for some brews. A nice gal named Andi kept me company. First time we’ve chatted but my regular gal Maya did not appear to be working. Andi was a fine substitute. 34 years old and three kids, the youngest being only 1. Deal breaker for me.

Honestly speaking, being a bargirl is a deal breaker for me. I’m not talking about the prostitutes, Cheap Charlies like Alley Cats does not feature “take out”. The girls work for drinks only. But when I dropped into Alley Cats after trivia I sort of had my eyes opened to the fact that I don’t want a girlfriend who makes a living being friendly to random guys. Yeah, I know that’s hypocritical because I too partake in companionship for the price of a drink. But it just feels different somehow to observe it.

Last night I popped into Alley Cats to finish my night. I brought along some take out food for the girls. Marissa was with a customer when I arrived so I sat as far away as possible and tried to ignore her. When her customer left, she came over to join me and partake in the food. And then another customer came in and she was up and gone. I paid my tab and left.

Okay, I have professed here that Marissa is just a friend. So why would that bother me? I know it is her job, but somehow it just made me feel like I’m worth less than the price of a drink to her. A good reminder of why I shouldn’t allow myself to get emotionally involved with a drink whore.

Anyway, I’m not going to let it get me down. It’s the fucking holiday season after all. Yesterday I got videoed into the Christmas luncheon gathering of my former team.

I walk my Buddy every morning and for some reason I decided to take a picture of all the street signs in my neighborhood. I don’t know why, but I think that most of them being named after American national parks is kind of interesting. Anyway, here they are:

Now, wasn’t that fun?

And the sign says, “Long-haired freaky people need not apply.”
So I tucked all my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why.
He said “You look like a fine, upstanding young man – I think you’ll do.”
So I took off my hat and said, “Imagine that! Huh… me, working for you!” Woah-oh-oh.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere there’s signs.
Blocking out the scenery. Breaking my mind.
Do this! Don’t do that! Can’t you read the signs?

And the sign says, “Anybody caught trespassing will be shot on sight”
So I jumped on fence and I yelled at the house,
“Hey! What gives you the right… To put up a fence to keep me out,
“Or to keep Mother Nature in?
“If God was here, He’d tell it to your face. ‘Man, you’re some kind of sinner.'”

Signs, Signs, Everywhere there’s signs.
Blocking out the scenery. Breaking my mind.
Do this! Don’t do that! Can’t you read the signs?

“Oh, say now mister, can’t you read?
“You got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat.
“You can’t even watch, no, you can’t eat. You ain’t supposed to be here!”
And the sign says, “You gotta have a membership card to get inside.” Hooh!

And the sign says “Everybody’s welcome to come in and kneel down and pray.”
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all,
I didn’t have a penny to pay.
So I got me a pen and paper and I made up my own little sign.
I said, “Thank you Lord for thinking about me. I’m alive and doing fine.”

Not that having nothing to say ever stopped me from not saying it.

A pleasant hike with the Wednesday Walkers yesterday. Until I walked smack dab into a low hanging roof eave. Saw stars but no serious damage other than a bruise on my forehead.

As seems to be a regular occurrence on these walks, there were the usual hiccups along the trail. Yesterday after getting about 3/4 of the way up the mountain we lost the trail. Repeated efforts to find our way to the top, including blazing our own trail, resulted in dead ends or terrain too steep to climb. So backtracking and going in circles were the order of the day. It gets a little frustrating, but that I guess is just part of the Wednesday adventure.

In other news, I continue to instruct Justin in the ways of life here.

He seems to be a quick learner!

I actually really enjoyed yesterday’s trail.  About the right length for this time of year (gets dark early).  I’d say 3/4 of the hike was through neighborhoods and the rest through scenic countryside.  Two hills but no mountains.  And a banka boat ride across the river at the end.  As I told the Hare at the Hash circle, it was the perfect trail for old men.

As per usual, let’s let the pictures do the talking:

After the Hash, went to Angeles to pick up my nephew Justin from the airport.  The trip went without incident which is always a good thing.  Justin will be here for two weeks so I’ll enjoy showing him around some.

Stay tuned!

…or chicken fried?  Either way, it was damn good.

Anyway, I neglected to include yesterday’s breakfast in my “24 hours” post.  It’s rare to even see this offered on a menu, at least in my experience.  And damn, look at the size of those portions.  As good as it was I could barely eat half of it.

People rag on the food in the Philippines, especially in comparison to what’s available in Thailand.  Well, that may be true for local dishes but I’m having no problem getting my belly full on Western comfort foods that I enjoy.

Speaking of which, I finally got back under 200 pounds.  Those ten pounds I gained during my visit in the USA took more than a month to shed.  I’m still not as disciplined diet-wise as I ought to be, but I do monitor my weight/blood pressure/resting heart rate everyday.  I want to stay healthy so I can continue to live large (without getting large).

Life’s good.

…since my last post.  Here’s what went down:

I continued my efforts to channel Magellan, exploring new and better paths for my daily walking excursions.

Then in the afternoon it was off to play in the dart tourney.  What made that interesting was that I drew Alan as my partner.  Alan doesn’t like vaping and I don’t like him.  I wrote about our falling out here.  Since that day back in October we haven’t spoken.  When we learned we were going to be dart partners he muttered “well, that’s awkward.”  I told him no big deal, let’s just play and have fun.  And that’s what we did, finishing in second place.  I did try to be polite and not vape around him while we played.

After darts I suggested to Cherry and Marissa that we go out to Arizona for dinner.  They were down with that, and when we arrived I asked the waitress if our food could be delivered to the floating bar.  And it was.

Now, I’m not on the floating bar all that much, but it was pretty strange last night.  On the other side of the bar a group of young men were in celebration mode, and one of the “waitresses” was helping them celebrate with some sexy dance moves.  I recognized the waitress as the wife of one of the Hashers.  And then the lights went out and the sexy dancing turned to, well, it appeared to be some form of sex.  The oral variety anyway.  It was dark and I didn’t have a clear view, but I did see panties coming down.

Of course I’m at a table with five other ladies and I didn’t really appreciate being forced to sit in the dark.  My complaints were ignored though.  Those guys were spending big money on drinks.  We left shortly thereafter and in the lobby of the Arizona was the Hash guy.  I greeted him and he told me he was waiting for his wife to finish work so they could head out to Angeles City.  Good luck with that I thought to myself.

So, I brought Marissa home with me and Tere (my helper) did her rude disappearing act.  Well, I was drunk and I’d had enough of that behavior.  So I gave her a demonstration of my big voice.  She hollered back about her “phobia” (which only seems to apply to women I bring home).  Anyway, it was pretty ugly.  I went to bed thinking I was going to have to fire Tere.

This morning we had a long talk though and she seemed sincere that she is trying to do better and wants to overcome her “phobia”.  I told her I don’t care if you don’t want to hang out when I have company, but I do expect you to be polite to my guests.  Otherwise Tere does a good job and I’d prefer to keep her.  We’ll see.

18,000 steps so far today and I still have the Hash to do.  Tonight I’ll be heading to Clark Airport in Angeles City to pick up my nephew Justin who’s visiting for the holidays.

And that brings y’all up to date on my so-called life.

Things rarely go as planned I suppose.  I certainly envisioned a life different than than the one I’m living.  But there’s nothing wrong with this one either.  It is what it is.  

Got up and went through my morning routines and rituals, including a two hour walk.

Got home, showered up, then had my driver Donny carry me out to Harbor Point mall on the old Navy base to do some shopping.  But the first order of business upon arrival was getting some lunch on.

Then it was time to hit the bricks, well tiles as it were, and get some things done.  That’s not always an easy trick here in the Philippines.

First up was the drug store for a refill of my Albuterol inhaler.  Started at one of the big chains, Watson’s.  No dice, they suggested I try Mercury Drugs at the other end of the mall.  They also didn’t carry it and the pharmacist suggested I consult a doctor for alternatives available in the PI.  And so I will.  Not critically short yet, but I’ve been experiencing more frequent coughing spells lately and I don’t want to find myself out in the wilds unable to breathe someday.

I also need a replacement for my watch band.  None were for sale in Harbor Point (they do come included with a new watch, which of course I don’t need).  Oh well.

Then I went looking for a new screen protector for my Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge phone.  “Sorry sir, none available for that model”.  Well, it just so happens that I have one with me, can you install it for me?  “Sorry sir, not allowed.”  Okay then.

I next went off to find a new printer/scanner as the one I brought with me has ceased to function properly.  And miracle of miracles I found a store that sells them and also had one I liked it stock!  So I made the purchase and felt that at least my journey was not a complete bust.

I had brought Marissa along with me and she astutely noted that Harbor Point mall sucks.  She said we should have gone to SM Olongapo mall instead.  Well yeah, and it is practically next door.  Texted my driver and we were off to SM.

First stop was a phone accessory shop but after a frantic search they also could not find an S7 Edge screen saver in stock.  I pulled mine out and asked if they’d install that for me.  “Sure, no problem sir.”  150 pesos later I was a happy camper with a phone that looks brand new.  Woot!

Then we found a shop that sold watch bands.  But only leather ones.  Which the gal said she could “cut” to fit my my watch.

And finally I insisted on buying Marissa a Christmas present.  She was shy about accepting but I know she needs a new television.  So I found a nice little smart TV that will be a good fit for her crappy apartment.  Marissa thought $250 was too much but it seemed like a good deal to me so I made the purchase.  It even came with a free digital antenna, whatever that is.

And then it was back to Barretto.  I reckon I will finish the day with some darts and beers.   Who says there’s no excitement in my life?

Had a good time exploring some new terrain yesterday.   12 kilometers and 3.5 hours with the “Walkers” will do that I suppose.  Mostly flat lands but we made up for it with distance.  

I went back out to the same area this morning for some more exploration.  I won’t usually do that on my own, but at some point you just have to go for it.  Still, walking through some of the poverty-stricken shanty towns made me feel a little nervous.  I removed my debit card from the wallet and stashed it away in a different pocket just in case.  I’d be screwed without that as it is my primary source of cash here these days.  Anyway, it all went fine and I’m sure my paranoia was unjustified.  In fact, I’ve got a new 1.5 hour walk that I can now incorporate into my weekly routine.

Actually, that was his second beer.  Since we came back into Barretto through my subdivision, I invited the group to my house for a cold one.

I started my morning with the requisite walk with my Buddy, then headed out to Baloy Beach for some breakfast at the Blue Rock resort.  I enjoyed my favorite food from France:

Then I made my way back out to Purok for another look around.  This may be the Philippines, but it is December.  So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised to see–

The above is another good example of the creative use of trash here.  I’ve actually been quite impressed by the ingenuity of the locals, poor though they may be, in finding ways to express their Christmas spirit.

And the people are indeed full of the holiday good cheer.  Several times on my walk people would holler out from passing vehicles “Merry Christmas, Joe!” (Joe is the common term the locals use for us Yanks).   It sounds sincere and nice even to a non-believer like me.

What is not so nice is what the locals do with the garbage that is not converted to Christmas decorations.  I’ve mentioned the littering and dumping in the rivers.  And what is not thrown away inappropriately is burned, contrary to local ordinances prohibiting such fires.  The result is this:

Well, I’m a guest in this country so I try to just take a deep breath *cough cough*, relax, and accept the Filipino way.  Like it or not.

What else?  Well, courtesy of the Facebook memories feature comes this family photo from the late 1990s:

And I’ve been multi-tasking!  While writing this post I also baked up a batch of these:

Peace out!

Greetings Earthlings.  Today I celebrate my 7 month anniversary of living in the Philippines.  So far, so good.  

As you have come to dread expect,  I have photos from the weekly Hash to share.  But stick around, this week’s report has a little twist at the end.

Okay, are you still here?  Good, here’s the lowdown on what went down after the Hash.  I mentioned in an earlier post that I was going to sponsor “Celia” at this week’s Hash.  And that’s what I did.  She’s a lot quicker on the trail (especially the uphills) but she hung back and stayed at least within visual distance most of the way.  And when we got back to Treasure Island I bought her some food.  And then things got a little strange.

Now, Jessa wasn’t working but she was still there, sitting at the bar with a girlfriend.  I of course was polite enough to go and say my hellos.  And of course she brought up the whole “holding hands with Marissa” bullshit.  But I wasn’t entertaining her faux being hurt routine.  I came back with something along the lines of “it could have been you” and then rejoined my Hash group, sitting with Celia.  Jessa sent me a message about being a “stranger” that I just blew off.

Okay, so I had won a free room at Treasure Island at the SOB last week and knowing I’d be doing the “on-home” there last night I had reserved a room “just in case”.  Keeping my options open.  Being prepared like a good Boy Scout should.  I mean, if I didn’t use it no big deal, it would have expired by the weekend anyway.  So, now I had to make a decision about what I was going to do.

After a few beers I went back over to Jessa and said, “you know I have a room here tonight.  Interested in sticking around?”  I was half serious, but mostly wanted to gauge her reaction.  Which was “why don’t you call Marissa?”  Okay then, you can’t say I didn’t try.  So, it was back to Celia.

I told her I have a room here and she responded I can’t stay all night, I have school in the morning.  I told her I was interested in that “naked massage” she had offered last time I’d seen her in the bar.  She was good with that, so off we went.

Here’s the lowdown on Celia.  22 years old.  One kid (who doesn’t live with her).  Going to trade school and learning to be a welder (I was impressed!).  Obviously she is not girlfriend material, but I was of course happy to help her earn some extra money.

I showered up and laid on the bed.  She took a shower and joined me wearing a towel.  She gave me a fair to middlin’ massage, a little erotic touching, and then I unwrapped her from the towel.  Well.  I am certainly old enough to not remember the last time I saw a naked 22 year old body.  It was nice.  We did a little cuddling and snuggling and then I told her it was time to go.

Sorry to disappoint, but that’s where the story ends.  As hot and sexy as Celia might be, she’s a dancer in a prostitution bar.  And I don’t go there.  Especially without a condom.  Which like a bad Boy Scout I hadn’t brought.

And today Celia is 2000 pesos richer ($40, about double what I would pay a stranger) and I have a nice memory.  I don’t expect I’ll be repeating the experience anytime soon.  At least with Celia.

All my troubles seemed so far away.  And they still do for that matter.

Anyway, I began my day with a long walk out to the Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority, also known as the Freeport Zone or the old Navy base.  It’s a good hour out there along the highway and is always exciting what with the buses, trucks, jeepneys, trikes, and cars frequently encroaching on the narrow shoulder.  Honestly, that’s why I only make that hike a couple of times a month and only on Sunday morning when traffic is somewhat lighter.

So, I said “fuck that!” and made my way down to the beach.

So I made it home safely, got some rest, and then headed out for the Sunday afternoon dart tourney.  Drew a strong partner and we walked away with a first place finish.

Marissa came out so I could buy her some beers to watch the action, and after darts I invited her home with me to enjoy the pot roast I’d left cooking in the crockpot.  She agreed and off we went to Alta Vista.  Along the way I got this text message from Jessa:

Glad ur happy now gwapo. And for the record john is not my bf so stop saying that … 
Just saw u and marissa walking holding hands

Damn, I told you this is a small town!  Can’t get away with anything.  But yes, I am guilty of holding hands while walking along the highway.  I guess Jessa’s feelings were hurt, but it’s not like she ever gave me a chance.  For example, not once did she ever go out with me without bringing her girlfriends along.  We didn’t date, I was the sucker paying for girls night out.  The John she references is a guy I saw her with in a FB photo, so I’d tease it was her boyfriend.  I guess she didn’t see the irony.  Oh well, I wasn’t going to pursue it with Jessa regardless.  And for the record, holding hands does not a girlfriend make!

Anyway, back to the important stuff, like my pot roast.  You know, back when I was using American beef the meat came out of the crockpot so tender I could pull it apart with just a fork and some tongs.  Yesterday’s roast was still so tough after 8 hours I had to use a big ass carving knife to saw through it.  What a disappointment!  Now, the flavor was excellent and once you cut the meat into bite sized morsels it was easy enough to chew.  Just not what I’m used to, but not a total fail either.  Quite good actually.

And you know, when meat quality is the biggest issue you have to complain about, life is pretty damn fine!

It’s been awhile since I’ve re-composed some song lyrics (you’re welcome!) but I couldn’t help myself this afternoon.  Feel free to sing along…

Yesterday I took a walk so far away.
All the way to the SBMA.
Oh, I walked so far yesterday.

Suddenly, I was on the beach along the sea.
I have no idea what came over me.
Oh, yesterday I walked along the sea.

Why did I have to go?
I don’t know, at home I couldn’t stay.
I still need to lose those pounds
So I took a long walk yesterday.

Yesterday I took a hike out to Subic Bay.
Dodging buses, trikes and jeeps along the way.
Oh, but I survived it yesterday.

(with apologies to Lennon/McCartney)

…easy like Sunday morning.

So I’m not sure if this is the end of my week or the beginning of a new one.  It’s been so damn long since I’ve had a day off I’ve lost track.  But seriously, the days here all have a sameness about them which makes one day pretty much indistinguishable from the next.

Like my walks for example.  Sure, I try and mix them up a little.  It helps having the Hash and Sausage Walkers in that regard.  But a walk in the park or a walk on the highway is still a walk, right?  This was my week:

• Sunday–21,000 steps (I round up/down at 500)
• Monday–22,000 
• Tuesday–14,000 (had to do the grocery shopping and blew off the morning walk)
• Wednesday–24,000
• Thursday–28,000 (not sure why I was so inspired)
• Friday–23,000
• Saturday–25,000

All in all not a bad week’s work.  Here’s some stuff I saw along the way:

What else?  Well, I got to feel like a proud grandpa this morning:

And that’s what’s cookin’ here.  Oh, and this:

Life is good.

Why in the world
Would anybody put chains on me?
I've paid my dues to make it
Everybody wants me to be
What they want me to be
I'm not happy when I try to fake it!
No!
Ooh, that's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning

Did the Sausage Walkers thing today. A little different in that we drove in the Hashmobile about 30 minutes out into the vast countryside and started from there. And as seems to be the norm, we took a couple of detours and dead ends before finding our way to the designated creekside lunch location for, yep you guessed it, sausages.

Alright, I must confess to having wimped out at the very beginning. There was this suspension bridge we needed to cross to get to the other side of the river. I got about half way over and it started swinging to and fro (I can handle the up and down) and I retreated. It just felt like I was going to topple over and into the river, which would have resulted in serious injury or death. So I chose discretion over valor and walked up river where the banks were less steep then waded across.

Ah well. Here’s some photos.

Let’s roll!

A view from the truck…

The bridge of my shame.

Everyone else made it across just fine. But once I reached the middle span where the handrails were ropes it just all felt so unstable to me. I took several steps, saw my life pass before my eyes, and retreated like a wimp.

After wading across down river I rejoined the group.

They didn’t laugh at me. Much.

No one home.

We only climbed one mountain today and about 3/4 way up we discovered we were going in the wrong direction and came back down….

…to walk along the river….

Trying to decide where to cross…

Ride ’em cowboy!

At our lunch site we came across the skinniest dog I ever did see. Shared my lunch with him but I doubt he’s long for this world…

Sausages roasting on an open fire. Well, bed of coals anyway…

A creek side picnic it was!

Anyway, got my steps in and saw some new sights, so it is all good.