I’m not so sure about that but I guess I’ll find out soon enough. Meeting up with Jessa today for a late lunch and…well, who knows where things might go? It’s probably too soon to be starting a relationship but according to Jessa, we are just dating. Whatever in the hell that means. We shall see I reckon.
Got rained on during the Hash yesterday. That’s not so unusual this time of year. But the water turned the dirt to mud and the mud made the trail a slippery mess. The downhills were especially risky. I did manage to keep on my feet, no regrets about that!
Now it’s time to prepare for my date. I hope I don’t regret it, but that’s the risk I’ve got to take.
Well, not recently. The massage places are all still closed after all. And the bars. But two years ago I posted this:
It took a couple of days, but I got a call from a trike driver saying Buddy had been located. There was some adventure in completing the rescue (he was out in the middle of a pond) but we were reunited at last.
Hmm, maybe a wanted poster for a girlfriend would work? Eh, never mind. She’d have to be pretty desperate and desperate girls are nothing but trouble in my experience. Besides, I have a tentative date with Jessa tomorrow. I say tentative because I’m as likely to cancel as she is. Starting to wonder if she’s a good fit for me. Well, I guess I won’t know unless and until we do it. Decisions, decisions.
In the meantime, I’ve got a Hash to attend to today starting at twelve o’clock high. Hope it’s a good one.
Here we are on another lockdown Sunday. At least it’s raining this afternoon so the imprisonment is a little easier to take. Anyway, here’s what’s been going down since my last update.
Jim and I had talked about him bringing another gal along on the hike to do an informal introduction. Alas, she was a no show. He told me later the girl in question is Anne’s niece and she nixed the meeting. I was a little offended by that frankly seeing as how I’m quite the catch and all. Anne told me later it was because she is friends with my ex and it made her uncomfortable introducing me to her niece. Whatever.
Besides, there’s always Jessa, right? Well, not so fast. She’s not here with me today. I can cut her some slack on that because of the lockdown. But things might have gotten off track somehow last night. I drank my share of beers at the gathering then Jim, Anne, and I took a Jeepney back to Barretto and popped into “Goman’s” for a few more. While there I got a message from Jessa asking if she and a friend could join us. I told her sure, come on out.
I was feeling no pain by the time she arrived but it seemed to go alright. We had us some pretty tasty quesadillas and what seemed to be a nice chat. We left just before curfew and went to our respective residences. And I’ve not heard from her at all today. Well, except for some cryptic message asking whether I’ve talked to ex recently. That struck me as a bit of a red flag.
Today makes four weeks since the breakup and that’s the longest I’ve gone without taking her back on some pretext or another. Honestly, I think I’m ready to just move on and put it all behind me, despite the two years I invested in her. But what I don’t need is bullshit from Jessa questioning me about that status. After all, she actually has a boyfriend and is “dating’ me as a placeholder until she breaks up with him. Or not. Anyway, more and more I’m thinking I’m better off alone. Yeah, I talk a good game I know. Let’s wait and see what happens.
And as you regular readers may recall, he ran away the next day. We found him again a couple of days later and he’s been glad to call my place home ever since. He’s a good boy!
So, as a couple of my commenters pointed out those steaks I bought to grill for Jessa didn’t go to waste. Well, to my waist perhaps.
And that brings you up to date on my so-called life. I’ll be watching some episodes from the Timeless series recommended by one of my readers (thanks, Thirsty!) to pass the hours this evening. Life can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I’ll take it over the alternative any day!
Looking forward to finding out what will happen next!
The rare morning post here at LTG. I figured I better provide my readers their daily dose of boring drivel now as my plans for today may well preclude blogging later.
After the morning dog walk, I hoofed it over to the ex’s place to give her some money for the trip to Manila. It was a little strange and uncomfortable when her mother tearily told me in broken English how sad she was that the relationship ended with her daughter. I just told her things happen and let it go at that. She wanted a picture with me before I left so I posed beside her. Ah well.
Today we are doing a special hike that will end up at Hunter’s Jo Inn in Calapadayan. The owner is a Hasher and we’ve done On-Homes there in the past. He’s hosting us for some beers and a barbeque on the beach. The Saturday group is led by Günter and those hikes are just out of my league these days. Instead, Jim and I are going to do our own trail and then join the group at Hunter’s. That’s the plan at least.
I’ve also got steaks marinating now in anticipation of a dinner date this evening with Jessa. Baked potato, a vegetable (probably cauliflower), and cornbread to round out the meal. With brownies and ice cream for dessert. That’s the plan anyway. But plans can change. Just now Jessa messaged that my planned arrival home this afternoon is “late”. I told her I thought she was spending the night and she responded she is worried about the Sunday lockdown. I thought we had discussed all this last night and decided the only issue was getting transportation back home. Jessa said then that her friend Kat could provide a ride on her scooter. So, as I write this Jessa is checking with Kat. Perhaps I’ll be dining alone tonight.
And maybe just staying single is my best option anyway. I find myself giving that idea more and more serious consideration. Am I man enough to live alone? I wouldn’t bet on it, but you never know.
Ah, and then Facebook shared a memory from ten years ago with me this morning.
Things may be getting ready to open up a tad more around here soon. One cause for hope was this:
We do have a couple of places opening up here in Barretto under the current rules. On my afternoon walk yesterday I moseyed over to the recentý reopened Arizona Resort to see where things stood. So of course the temperature thing was done as I entered (36.2). Four other customers inside and the waitress recognized me and seemed genuinely happy to see me. That was nice. After such a warm greeting I felt obligated to order up a beer. As I drank it the receptionist handed me an Ipad like thing and asked me to complete some information. Name/address/phone/email/etc. It was a bit of a pain in the ass. I asked if I had to do this EVERY time I visited or if they would maintain the info–sorry every time sir was the response. I couldn’t help but think there was no better way to spread the virus than having everyone touching that Ipad screen. So I doused my hands in cleansing fluid, finished my beer, and left.
On the way home I stopped into “Goman’s” (still not legally open) for some more beer. I perched upon my usual chair on the back patio to enjoy the bay and beach views. It really does ease my troubled mind to soak up some of the beauty that surrounds me here.
She seemed like a girl with something extra and the waitress confirmed she was in fact bakla…the word the locals use for gay/transgender folk. I can usually tell right away, but this lass was pretty cute. Ah well, just passing the time.
This morning I had a nice hike with Scott and Jim. Scott drove us out to a new (for me) area and it was a nice change of pace.
As days go, this was a pretty good one. And that’s where things stand for now.
Well, I did get off my lazy ass this morning and took a good old fashion solitary hike.
That’s more steps than I’ve managed in the last two days combined. I’ll get out for another brief walk later this afternoon if things go as planned.
My downstairs neighbor died this week (the guy who lived in the servant’s room under my house). He’d been fighting advanced diabetes for quite some time. They amputated his leg recently and he never made it back out of the hospital. Rest in Peace, Tony.
Otherwise, nothing much has changed around here. Well, I did have a nice chat with the ex and told her I had no problem maintaining a friendship but the girlfriend thing wasn’t going to happen. She seemed accepting of that proposition so we’ll see. I also told her I would help finance her return to Manila. Hey, what are friends for?
I also chatted some with Jessa and I’m still not sure what the next step is for us and whether I’m ready to take it. I’m such a coward when it comes to love. I guess I’ll just wait and see what happens.
Sorry for the lack of posting yesterday. Tuesday is normally an easy day for blogging, just throw up some photos from Monday’s Hash. But then things got weird.
How weird? Well, the ex-GF showing up to the Hash weird. Granted, she’s got the right and I don’t begrudge her that. She is friends with some of the female Hashers after all. It was a short trail and she was up ahead of me for almost all the hike. Back at the On-Home, she’d fetch me a beer when I was empty but didn’t spend much time with me and I was fine with that too. I left before the circle activities were completed because they ran out of light beer and I’d probably had enough to drink anyway. The ex followed me out of the Hash. Well, the way home did go past her house so I could understand it. When we got to her place she said she wanted to come home with me and see the dogs. I told her no and kept on walking. I was surprised when I looked back and saw she was following me. So I stopped and asked her what was up. She again said she wanted to stay with me. I told her no, that’s not going to happen. After a little back and forth, I walked off alone.
The whole thing threw me for a loop so I decided to pop into “Gomans” for a beer to clear my mind. The ex started sending text messages that I tried to ignore. And then Jessa messaged me which was a pleasant distraction. Meanwhile, I kept on drinking. And I don’t remember much after that. I got home safely and before curfew so there’s that.
I felt like shit yesterday but I got my visa renewed and went grocery shopping. The ex messaged me an apology and said she was going to sell all her stuff (most of which I bought for her) and move back to Manila. I wished her good luck. Apparently, in my drunkenness the night before I had invited Jessa to the house. I wasn’t really in the mood to see anyone but I felt bad because her side of town had a scheduled all day “brownout” while the electric company did maintenance. So, I kept the date. She arrived in the early afternoon and I grilled up some hamburgers for lunch.
After our meal, we watched some TV. I had some hair of the dog that bit me (beer) and started feeling a little better. Jessa drank wine. I’m not sure who started feeling frisky first, but after awhile we were making out on the couch. She’s a passionate kisser, I’ll grant her that. Things were heating up and I invited her to come to my bedroom, but she declined saying she is not ready yet. Okay then. It was reminiscent of those days with my high school girlfriend–getting all fired up but then no follow-through. I told her as much and she just laughed and said “next time”.
We watched some more TV and continued drinking. Then with curfew fast approaching I told her I would walk her out to the trike stand to get a ride back home. As we walked I could tell she was quite inebriated. A few minutes down the road she surprised me, saying she wanted to spend the night, provided I promise to abide by her no intercourse dictate. Gentleman that I am I did so and kept my vow. It was hard though. *ahem*
Anyway, Jessa likes to cuddle and it was nice to have a warm body next to me again. I woke up early as usual but she stayed in bed until almost eight. Made my standard bacon, egg, and toast breakfast for her which she seemed to enjoy. I walked Jessa and the dogs to the trike stand and gave her a peck goodbye. And that was that.
I’ve been out of sorts all day today and I’m not exactly sure why. For some reason, I’m feeling bad for the ex, sympathy for her situation perhaps or maybe just missing the good parts of what we shared. Jessa is much more passionate and I’m almost certain she’ll give me a better girlfriend experience, but I don’t know what is making me hesitate. Maybe it is just too soon. Anyway, I’ll figure it out eventually I suppose.
How messed up am I? Well, I haven’t done any walking for two days now which is a big deal for me. I’ll try and get back with the program tomorrow.
Just a quick post before I head out for today’s Hash. I suspect that I will be in no condition to blog when I return from that endeavor. Not that I’ve got much to share now either, but what I’ve got is yours!
I’m not sure what it is about the Sunday lockdown, but they really do a number on me. I let things get up all in my head where they fester to the point of depression. And it really is my fault. Across the bridge in Subic, there is no lockdown and I could easily make my way there to get some walking in and clear my mind a little. But nope, I just make excuses and don’t do shit. Anyway, it’s somewhat better now and maybe come next weekend I can be a little more disciplined. We’ll see.
So, in the depths of my despair, I’m scrolling through the Quora forums and I randomly came across this:
So I’m 72 and a bachelor never married, no kids. And not lonely. To tell you the truth, there’s lots of peace and quiet around my apartment, I like that. Altho certainly it would be nice to have a “Besty” but I’ve found that relationships are a real give and take thing and I just like the idea of me doing what I want and not having someone over my back, giving me suggestions/advice every day all the time, (not that every relationship is like that but….) or having to get their approval to do something. You call it loneliness, I call it freedom. If your not happy with what’s flying around inside your head, well, you gotta do something about that, and depending on someone else may work for you or the 2 of you but someday, your gonna be alone and if you don’t know how to handle it its gonna be a rough ride. I realize that I’m probably going to be one of those that end up dead in their apartment, but thats ok, I’ll have lived my life how I wanted.
Man oh man, I really admire that old geezer. He has achieved the state of mind I long for. Whether I can actually get to that level of bliss is another matter, but his words were inspirational regardless.
I’m still not clear on where things are going with Jessa. The potential is there for something special I think but she has a relationship to end before we can really get started. I have no reason to doubt that she is as she claims “worth waiting for” but I’ve never been a patient man. Although she calls what we are doing “dating” it sure doesn’t feel that way to me. Especially the part about nothing physical happening between us.
Anyway, on the plus side, I’m enjoying our online banter. Jessa’s got a good head on her shoulders and a better command of English than anyone I’ve “dated” for years. Today I shared some poetry with her and she professed to like it. A girlfriend I could recite poetry to would indeed be something special. Here’s one I shared with her:
It was a night of early spring, The winter-sleep was scarcely broken; Around us shadows and the wind Listened for what was never spoken.
Though half a score of years are gone, Spring comes as sharply now as then— But if we had it all to do It would be done the same again.
It was a spring that never came; But we have lived enough to know That what we never have, remains; It is the things we have that go.
Sare Teasdale
Oh well, I’m going to take it slow and easy (as if I have a choice) and see where it leads. Perhaps by some miracle, I will come to enjoy being alone with myself and not need to engage in these fruitless pursuits of love. Probably not though.
Time to Hash. I can maybe clear my head on trail and then drown whatever sorrows remain at the On-Home.
Or so it seems at least. To the extent I can overcome my inherent laziness I’ll get out and walk some. My goal of 20,000+ steps per day is only achieved lately when I have the motivation of fellow hikers out with me keeping me focused on the task at hand.
Evenings are spent engaged in my other hobby–beer drinking. Of course, with the bars all closed my options are pretty much limited to “Gomans”. I drink alone there though, out on the back deck by the beach with no other customers around. Alas, I long for the days when I could enjoy the company of a pretty young lass for the price of a lady drink.
Well, now that I think of it I did have a brief interlude with my waitress yesterday. She had a worried look about her so I asked what was wrong. Turns out the power company had let her defer payment of her bill for three months but now the piper wanted his due. I asked her how much and she said 3000 pesos (around $60.). I told her that’s a shame. Then before leaving I tipped her enough to pay the bill. She got a little emotional and offered to clean my house and do my laundry. I told her I have people for that already, adding “too bad you’re married”. She laughed at that and of course, I was teasing. Mostly.
And I need to stay on top of my health. It was encouraging to find this scientific study that may explain why I’m not a stupid drunk:
Beer hops are good for the brain and can actually improve concentration and speed up thought processes, according to a new scientific study.
The research, which will be music to the ears of beer lovers, found that consuming hops also reduced stress levels and improved mood. And perhaps surprisingly, those who took supplements containing bitter hop extracts, displayed better memory recall and were better able to solve mental puzzles.
Well, I’m no Joe Biden but can you imagine trying to read this blog if I didn’t consume copious amounts of beer?
Speaking of Facebook, the latest rage is people using a face app that purports to show how you would appear as the opposite sex. I never engage in those games myself, but someone I know sent me this last night:
Alright, enough of that foolishness. I found a nice spot for a dine-in breakfast this morning even though the Sunday lockdown is in place.
So I did engage in a little weekend project yesterday. The boys enjoy hanging out on the downstairs patio but if I don’t keep an eye on them they can’t seem to resist the temptation to escape and roam about free. Then I had the inspiration to take the pen from the backyard and wrap it around the porch railing closing off all means of egress.
Finally, I’m not really into all this PC nonsense. I was dismayed to learn that Aunt Jemima will be departing us soon, with Uncle Ben likely to follow. Today I read that Eskimo Pies are also not long for this world. So, I guess it was inevitable that the racist slur “cracker” was doomed as well. And sure enough, now comes this news:
And so it goes.
UPDATE: Hmm, I was dealing with another kind of new normal back in 2014 it seems. Little did I know where that was going to lead. Although I guess ultimately it led me here.
A long, hot, wet, and muddy trek to Tralala and home again yesterday. Four of us made the journey and four of us came back so I’d call that a success. One particularly steep and slippery downhill took the feet out from each of us, but other than some mud on our clothes and some wounded pride, we emerged from the fall unscathed. Here are the photos from our adventure:
On the way back to my house I popped into Sit-n-Bull where I enjoyed some chicken wings and coleslaw for a late lunch. Beers at “Goman’s” for my Friday evening treat. And some online chat with Jessa that made me do some thinking about where the future might be leading. But here I am, stuck in the present so I’ll have to wait to find out I suppose.
Such is life.
Slip slidin’ away Slip slidin’ away You know the nearer your destination The more you’re slip slidin’ away
I know a man, he came from my home town He wore his passion for his woman like a thorny crown He said “Delores, I live in fear My love for you is so overpowering I’m afraid that I will disappear”
Slip slidin’ away Slip slidin’ away You know the nearer your destination The more you’re slip slidin’ away
I know a woman, became a wife These are the very words she uses to describe her life She said “A good day ain’t got not rain” She said “A bad day’s when I lie in bed And I think of things that might have been”
Slip slidin’ away Slip slidin’ away You know the nearer your destination The more you’re slip slidin’ away
And I know a father who had a son He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he had done He came a long way just to explain He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping Then he turned around and he headed home again
Slip slidin’ away Slip slidin’ away You know the nearer your destination The more you’re slip slidin’ away
God only knows, God makes his plan The information’s unavailable to the mortal man We’re working our jobs, collect our pay Believe we’re gliding down the highway When in fact we’re slip slidin’ away
Slip slidin’ away Slip slidin’ away You know the nearer your destination The more you’re slip slidin’ away Slip slidin’ away Slip slidin’ away You know the nearer your destination The more you’re slip slidin’ away
Yesterday’s “date at home” went just fine, thank you very much. No surprises, no disappointments. Well, I did teasingly suggest a nap after the movie and she declined with a “maybe next time”.
Chili came out good I think. Jessa finished hers which I always take to be a good sign. And yes, I added pineapple chunks again. Sue me. Brownies with vanilla ice cream made for a tasty dessert as well.
Jessa seemed to enjoy the movie, laughing in all the appropriate spots and nudging me when the dialog struck close to home re: my messed up love life. It was pleasant being snuggled up with her on the couch for a couple of hours. I didn’t get frisky other than gently rubbing her leg now and then. Oh, and she doesn’t shave her legs. Not that that bothers me, just hadn’t seen it (or felt it) in quite a while.
We chatted a bit after the movie then I walked her to the highway so she could get a trike home. A quick peck on the lips goodbye and that was our date. I imagine we’ll do it again one day soon. Still no idea where this might lead, but I guess that’s what the adventure is all about.
Speaking of adventure and the potential to fall, I’ll be hiking with Scott this morning up to Tralala, the highest point in Olongapo. It’s a lot of steps and then a decent climb. Did it once before and thought to myself “never again”. For some reason, I actually suggested it today. We’ll have my driver drop us in Gordon Heights so we can begin our ascent at full energy levels.
I’m doing this post now on the chance that I’ll be in no condition to do so by the time I make it back home. We shall see!
On the cusp of a kinda sorta first date this afternoon. Although I’ve considered the repercussions, good and bad, about taking these tentative steps towards a potential relationship, I’m afraid I don’t have any great insights on just what I might be getting myself into. Does anyone ever though?
Here’s what I do know. I’ve been acquainted with Jessa for two years now. I made some effort back when we first met to make her my girlfriend, to no avail. I realized later that it was my own cowardice in putting myself at risk by pursuing a potential loving romance that doomed any chance of success. I felt like I was better off safe than sorry and I’ve pretty much been sorry ever since.
The past several days I’ve been chatting online at length with Jessa. I really appreciate the fact that she can carry her end of the conversation better than most. She is perceptive and offers some significant insights. She can also be brutally honest, but I kinda like that too. She has a great sense of humor and also seems to get mine which is always nice. I can tell already that she will not hesitate to challenge and push me as she deems necessary. Time will tell how she reacts when I push back. She is, however, open-minded and appears to have a healthy appreciation for the physical aspects of a relationship. At least she verbalizes them, time will tell if she is willing to demonstrate them in person.
On the downside, Jessa is exactly half my age. That’s really not a big deal in this culture, but it can be a bit disconcerting and somewhat intimidating. She has a 6-year-old daughter I’ve yet to meet but Jessa seems impressed by my experience as a single father (back when I was her age. Yikes!). I’m not sure at this point what else we may have in common, but I do know that Jessa is not into the hiking aspects of my life. I admit that it is a bit disappointing because I’ve fantasized about having someone to share my walking and Hashing experiences.
So, going into today’s date I’m keeping my expectations in check. I’m looking at it as having some pleasant company for the afternoon so I doubt I’ll be disappointed. I’ve got a batch of chili in the crockpot and I’ll bake up some brownies for dessert. Like many Filipinas, Jessa enjoys watching Korean dramas so I’m going to share one of my old-time favorites, My Sassy Girl, with her. After that, who knows? I’ve got plenty of beer. Or maybe a nap.
Here are some photos from yesterday’s walk that Scott took:
And that’s where things ended. Now to get ready for what may (or may not) be a new beginning.
Stay tuned!
UPDATE: It seems I used the “here we go again” post title way back in 2009. That’s from those days when I use to write about meaningful stuff like politics. What impressed me the most though was the robust and heartfelt discussion in the comments. Well, I’m still getting great feedback from the few that still come by to read my diary. Thanks for that!
No, not the Filipina I have a tentative date with tomorrow (although she is indeed short and sweet). Just not a whole lot to share here today so let’s get on with it and get it done, shall we?
I got a haircut yesterday for the first time in quite some time:
I’m not entirely sure if there is a secret or if it is simply blind luck, but I look almost exactly the same as I did 40 years ago, don’t you agree?
A nice 9K hike this morning with Scott and Troy:
One thing is for sure, Filipinos sure do love their Red Horse beer. I’ve never finished one, it’s a tall bottle with a high alcohol content. We did apparently come across a local watering hole on our hike today though:
Scott took more pictures but hasn’t posted them yet. I’ll share some of those tomorrow perhaps.
Alright, I promised you short and sweet and so there you have it. I’ve got some beers at “Gomans” in my immediate future and some thinking to do about tomorrow’s potential “at home” date. I think I’ll make chili.
Today was grocery shopping day. My driver arrived at the appointed time and as we headed to Olongapo he asked if I wanted to shop at Royal. I told him “yeah, but it is not open to anyone who doesn’t live on SBMA” (the old Navy base). He told me that he knew the security guard so I shrugged and said okay.
We arrived and sure enough, the guard waved us inside (after taking my temperature of course). It felt like coming home again! Almost all the hard-to-find things I’ve been longing for were waiting for me on the familiar shelves. So I stocked up.
Oh, and about that security guard controlling access to the store? He’s not exactly a friend of my driver, my driver just knew how to get him to let us in. And that was 200 pesos (around $4.). I guess we can be polite and call it “a tip”. And of course, that’s just the way things work in this country, from top to bottom. Today I came across this short article from the USA talking about corruption in the Philippines. Give it a read if you are so inclined.
As I staggered walked home after the Hash yesterday, I popped into Sit-n-Bull for some grub. They are doing dine-in now, but I still got mine for take-out.
This morning my dogs brought a smile to my face when I saw this:
Alright, that’s all the news. And here comes the part I know y’all have been waiting for:
Here’s something a little different for you. Scott/Pubic Head took some photos of the locals while he was out marking the trail. I shamelessly lifted them for the SBH3 Facebook page:
And I will close this out with a couple of shots from our On-Home at Derelict’s place:
And I reckon that’s as good a place to leave things as any…
Good Monday morning! I’m dropping some words here now because with COVID Hash Run #5 starting at noon and knowing I’ll be downing some beers afterward, chances are better than good I’ll be in no condition to blog later today.
Not a lot to report though. Walked the dogs and had some bacon and eggs for breakfast. Pretty exciting stuff, huh?
Well, there is this potential development. It seems like I might start dating again. It’s all kind of weird and undefined at the moment, but we’ll see where it goes. I suggested a couple of restaurants that have reopened and she asked why we had to go out–your house is fine.
Welcome to another lockdown Sunday. They don’t get any easier, that’s for sure.
At least I was able to change things up a bit with yesterday’s dinner party. It’s nice to have some eye candy company now and then. I was pretty disappointed with the quality of the food I provided. The ribs were especially unsatisfactory.
Pretty much everything was wrong. Starting with the ribs I bought at the SM grocery store butcher shop (bottom left in the photo). I noticed they were thick but somehow assumed it was a double stack of ribs. Nope. It was about an inch of fat. And when I cooked them in the crockpot the fat actually bloated up even more, enough to slightly lift the lid. They were not tender and tasty and the time in the oven didn’t rectify that. Luckily, I had purchased the more traditional baby back style at a local butcher in Barretto and they came out okay. Just not enough of them.
My original plan was to do the ribs in the slow cooker on Friday, then braze them in the oven just before my guests arrived. That would free up the crockpot for cooking the pork chops on Saturday morning. The power outage made that impossible so I did the chops on the grill. They were fine I guess, but a bit dryer than I like.
After our meal, we retreated to the downstairs patio where the gals drank wine and I enjoyed my beverage of choice, beer.
It was pleasant enough and we had a few laughs. The girls talked mostly among themselves in Tagalog, which is normal and is to be expected. I’m a slouch when it comes to learning the local language but I’m not one of those people who demand others cater to my ignorance.
So, being currently single I sniffed out the potential availability of my guests. Jessa has a German boyfriend, she told me she is waiting for his return in August. I wasn’t attracted to Mylene and she has what she calls a “cheating boyfriend” anyway. Ru Ru thought I would be perfect–for her early 40s mother. That was pretty funny to hear. And I’ve known Kat for a while and there have never been any sparks between us. So there you have it. It is safe to characterize this event as dinner with friends.
As the 7 p.m. curfew approached we headed down to the highway so the girls could catch a ride home. And it started running. I went on ahead and fetched the trikes while they waited under the awning of a Sari-Sari store. Always the gentleman, even when soaking wet.
Well, at least I have a good excuse for not posting yesterday. I had the “pleasure” of experiencing life without electricity for over 24 hours. I think the only longer period of living without power I’ve experienced was going several days in the dark after a hurricane in Virginia way back when. No more, please!
In somewhat related news, the rainy season also has arrived in full force, driven by some tropical depression/storm off the coast. Two days of the wet stuff precluded getting any meaningful hiking accomplished.
As for the bark in my convoluted post title, it went down like this. No power=no aircon or fans. So, I went to bed with my sliding glass door open. Sometime around 0300 a dog started barking. Now, the neighbors on the next street over have a passel of dogs that always bark. But when my doors and windows are closed it pretty much drowns out the noise (especially when I’m running my fans). So, I get up and close the door, lay back down, and sure enough, the barking resumes, just as loud as ever. It sounded like it was right out in front of my house. So I get up and go out on the balcony and sure enough, some fucking dog was in the street barking at my house (or maybe Buddy and Lucky through the glass, but they weren’t responding). I yelled for him to shut up and he took off down the street. As soon as I crawled back in bed, he returned and commenced his barking routine again. This time I went downstairs, grabbed my walking stick, and chased the bastard down the street in my bare feet and underwear. I’m sure that sight would have scared anyone, including the rude dog who left me alone for the remainder of the night.
Anyway, that’s the roundabout way of saying I had a very depressing day yesterday. The worst I can remember in a long, long time in fact. And here I am on the other side of it, relatively unscathed.
It wasn’t all bad though. I heard from two old girlfriends that hadn’t been in touch for quite some time. Not sure if it was a coincidence or maybe they still read the blog. Anyway, it was nice to be remembered. I’ve also made some tentative contact with a gal on the Date in Asia site. Her profile says she lives in Olongapo, but now she tells me she moved to Pampangna (about an hour from here). We’ll see how that goes.
The big news (relatively speaking) is I’m having dinner/supper/late lunch guests at the house this afternoon. Jessa and her entourage of friends (Kat, RuRu, and Mylene) will be joining me. Apparently during my aborted courtship of Jessa last year I had invited them to experience my cooking. So I am going to fulfill that obligation. Doing up some baby back ribs and grilled pork chops.
I don’t expect I’ll get lucky as two of the gals (Jessa and Ru Ru) have boyfriends that I know of, not sure about the others. Still, it should be fun to have some company to entertain.
Today’s “interesting” photo is from the Jeepney stop on the road out of my subdivision.
So, David Chappelle is a comedian I like and he pretty much calls folks out as he sees fit, regardless of their politics. Of course, I don’t always agree with him, but he’s funny in a non-PC kinda way that if pretty rare these days. Here’s his latest:
“I don’t care if he personally kicked Candace Owens in her stanky pussy I don’t know if it stanks, but I imagine it does. If I ever find out, I’ll let you know for sure.”
And how did Ms. Owens respond? In a fashion that is kinda extraordinary in these humorless times:
To every Democrat tweeting me the clip of #DaveChappelle insulting me:
I’m not a leftist. I have a sense of humor & I think comedians SHOULD make fun of people.
Dave Chappelle is one of the greatest comedians of all time and I made it into one of his specials.
That’s POWER!
We’ve arrived too suddenly into a culture where people can’t laugh at themselves, or want to restrain comedians.
I will never be a part of that culture. @DaveChappelle —you are legend and I’d love to meet you and challenge you to say any of that to my face!
All love!
She’s my hero!
And just because I’m an asshole, here’s an old picture of me from when I was older and heavier.
Good days and bad days come and go. But a dog’s love is always there.
I’m not sure what’s going on but my dreams lately have more intense than usual. I wake up and think to myself “that was weird” but then I fall back to sleep and the dream is mostly forgotten. Last night/early this morning was like that, except I remember the rather bizarre ending–a woman handed me a scrap of paper with the words “don’t ask for what you can’t give” written on it.
It sounds simple enough but maybe there is a deeper meaning for me to consider. It just seems weird to have my subconscious deliver a message to me in this fashion. I’ll contemplate the potential ramifications of the words, but in the meantime, I will probably refrain from asking for a blowjob!
But enough about me. HaHa, just kidding! Here are some photos from the hike yesterday:
And so concluded our hike. To cleanse your palate, here are the boys enjoying the cool morning air today:
And finally, I have steadfastly refused to get drawn into all this race-baiting crap. I certainly know racism when I see (or hear it) though.
Sometimes I fear for my country.
Lonely and winsome Calling for someone Living right now
Something is shallow Ugly and hollow Doesn’t even allow You to want to know how you might Live for the living and Give for the giving. Living Moment by moment One day at a time It doesn’t matter It’s nothin’ but dreamin’ any how
I had some interesting company at “Gomans” last night. And some food for thought for dinner. Well, technically I was alone and I was drinking and not eating, but it was enjoyable all the same.
The person I was spending time with was Jessa and we did it through the messenger app. I’ve mentioned her here on the blog a few times these past couple of years, most recently in March.. In fact, it was our Facebook “friendiversary” that prompted me to re-initiate contact. Here’s a brief recap of our relationship.
I first met Jessa when she was working at Treasure Island. She actually remembers me from a tourist visit when I was with a girlfriend. When I first moved to the Philippines I was staying out on Baloy Beach so I was a regular customer at T.I. Anyway, I developed a bit of a crush for her but began dating someone else before I could pursue things with Jessa. When I broke up (the first time) I tried to see if Jessa might share any interest in a sexy older man such as myself. Oh, she’s always called me “Gwapo” (handsome in Tagalog) instead of John–such a sweet talker! So I wound up taking Jessa and her friends out to celebrate her 30th birthday. When I asked her out to dinner a few days later, she invited her friends along as well. I was expecting something more romantic and although I like her friends I was disappointed. I came to the conclusion that Jessa wasn’t serious about me and I moved on. Or more precisely, I went back to my former toxic relationship. And as I was to become painfully aware both of those moves were mistakes. Big surprise, huh?
So, the world kept on spinning around and I would occasionally hear from Jessa via Facebook. She spent some time in Dubai working but decided to return home because she missed her daughter. When we had last talked she mentioned being involved with a German guy and she was not surprised to hear things had gone south once again with the woman I was seeing. And that’s where things stood when we spent two hours or so chatting online last night.
Jessa was equally sympathetic to my plight and brutally honest about how stupidly blind I had been. She offered me encouragement and advised me to take my time in finding a replacement. She admonished me about both my aversion to being alone and my cowardice in not being open to taking a chance on love with the right woman. She of course reminded me that I had blown an opportunity to be with her as she awaited a pursuit from me that never came. Nothing I hadn’t told myself before or heard from other friends, including a regular commenter here. But I think I needed to hear it again to toughen up my resolve to avoid taking the “easy road” in the future.
One of the things that impressed me was Jessa’s command of English and willingness to engage in a meaningful conversation. My ex didn’t like to talk much and I only understood some of what she said–not a good combination. So, communication ability is going to be high on my list of qualities I hope to find in any future relationship.
Anyway, I came home feeling much more positive about things and I have Jessa to thank for that. I really opened up to her, both good and bad about myself, and she didn’t hesitate to engage in blunt and honest discourse. It definitely helped, although I know I’ve still got a long way to go to get to where I need and want to be. During our chat, I was reminded of what is probably my favorite Stephen King quote. At the end of the night, I shared it with her and thanked her for being an understanding ear.
“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.”
Still fighting the blues I’m afraid. But meanwhile, life goes on.
So there had been a moratorium on visa extensions during the enhanced quarantine. With the downgrade to general quarantine status, I was provided 30 days in which to visit the immigration office. I did so this morning.
I completed the paperwork for the standard 60-day tourist visa extension and waited for my turn in line. I was a little surprised by the fee of 4500 pesos ($90) as it is usually around 3000 pesos. Oh well. Once I was back in the vehicle and looked at my receipt I was irked to see my new visa is only valid until June 29. Talk about paying more for less! All I can figure is they granted the 60 days from the date my previous visa expired. Oh well, another trip to immigration is in my near future.
Upon returning home I changed clothes (you are supposed to wear long pants to immigration) and walked to Treasure Island on Baloy Beach. They are kinda sorta open again in an under the table kinda way. My motive for going to T.I. was to see a woman I’ve had the hots for in the past and who maybe liked me as well during a period when I was not available. I wrote a little about Ilene here. She used to come out and Hash with us on a regular basis and even earned her Hash name: Hot to Trot.
Anyway, with the reduced clientele at T.I., Ilene was the only person working (she normally is a receptionist). There were only a couple of other customers sitting at the beachside tables so I plopped down at the bar. Ilene seemed happy to see me so I ordered up a beer and a menu. See served the beer in a plastic glass so it wouldn’t appear I was actually drinking beer. I offered to treat her to some lunch but she declined. After a little chitchat, I asked how things were going with the boyfriend. She said he was still in Canada but hoped to return next month. I swallowed my disappointment and offered up some positive-sounding words. She then told me that the boyfriend warned her he would be making an occasional trip to Manila and Angeles City. And as everybody knows, there is only one reason to go to AC–the whores. She said he expected her to be understanding. Sensing an opportunity I asked her if she told him she would also occasionally be seeing her old Hash friend. She laughed and said something along the lines of “right”. She got called away by a customer at that point. When she returned I ordered a hamburger. Then she came back and told me the cook said he couldn’t do a hamburger “yet”. What the hell? Well, if he couldn’t do the burger I wasn’t wanting anything else off the menu either–especially the less popular stuff. Another guy came in and pulled up a chair near the reception desk which I thought a little odd. But after she went over to serve him I saw that they were acquainted and she chatted away while I looked at my empty beer glass.
Needless to say, I don’t see Ilene joining me in any future Hash. Oh well, onward to the next one I suppose.
Speaking of the Hash, here are some photos from yesterday’s COVID Run #4.
That’s where things stand as of now. I reckon I’ll head on over to “Gomans” to drink some beers and look the part of the lonely guy. It’s what I do best!
Oh, and about the title to this post. Just before I sat down here to blog I took a nap. And just before I woke up I was dreaming. And while I don’t remember much about the dream, I do remember this song was playing in the background of whatever drama my REM-sleep generated. I have no idea why.
There is a town in north Ontario, With dream comfort memory to spare, And in my mind I still need a place to go, All my changes were there.
Blue, blue windows behind the stars, Yellow moon on the rise, Big birds flying across the sky, Throwing shadows on our eyes. Leave us
Helpless, helpless, helpless Baby can you hear me now? The chains are locked and tied across the door, Baby, sing with me somehow.