But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. Not sure why that song popped into my head, but when you ain’t got nothing, you got nothing to lose. Just like a rolling stone.

Alright, I’ll stop now. There’s nothing that I need and still some that I want, but I’m getting my share. I’m certainly doing alright for an old man. And there is more to life than the ladies of questionable virtue anyway. Like beer, hiking, and darts. I had my share of all three yesterday.

Played in the tournament at Alley Cats last night. Warming up, I was throwing worse than usual. I don’t worry about that much because warm-ups rarely reflect actual performance during competition. Except they did last night. We were playing singles so at least I didn’t have a partner to let down and disappoint. It was a little embarrassing to throw that poorly though. Oh well, you reap what you sow. And poor performance is the dividend that comes from my lack of motivation to practice. Now, if I could only find a way to actually care. Stay tuned.

I don’t make it a practice to mess with the girls at Alley Cats either. Well, not in any physical way at least. There is one gal I teasingly call my “sugar baby” and she calls me “daddy”, but it’s all talk. She’s never asked me for a thing and all I’ve ever given her is lady drinks. Anyway, it is fun to engage her in some repartee and she plays along nicely. She’s big into K-dramas and even knows a few Korean words. Her dream is to visit there someday and I’ve thought about how much fun it would be if I ever got the chance to show her around. I doubt that will ever happen, of course, but it’s fun to kid around about it with her.

Since I didn’t make it to the money round in darts that left some hours to fill on my Friday night. So I headed over to Marick’s for some cold beers and flirtatious banter with another 23-year-old bargirl.

And that brings us to yesterday’s hike. We had a good turnout and managed to incorporate some interesting diversions as we traversed the familiar mountain that includes the frequently hiked My Bitch trail. A relatively short 6K, with one significant climb. Well, for half the group anyway. When we got to the junction leading to the second big hill, some of the group opted to stay on the level ground. For me, it’s about keeping it fun. And huffing and puffing and dreading each step ain’t my idea of fun. Anyway, it all worked out and everyone got to do what suited them best. To the photos then:

And there you have the lowdown on another fine day in the life. If there’s a better retirement community in the whole wide world than Barrio Barretto, I’ve never heard of it. Or maybe it’s just a good fit for me and my lifestyle. Hmm, maybe I’ll go out and drink some beers and contemplate that question. And if I get lonely, I’m sure there is some lovely lady wanting to experience the simple joy of listening to my wit and wisdom. Or so they make it seem. That’s good enough!

Well, I guess if you don’t have a bad massage now and again you can’t appreciate the good ones. As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I gave “Happy” a tryout yesterday and she was clueless. She had told me she knew how to massage but it was more like a back rub. In fact, I had to ask her if she was going to do my legs. She seemed surprised, “oh, you want your legs massaged too?” Ah well, nothing ventured nothing gained. I tried to get some cuddle time in but she didn’t seem comfortable with that. No problem. I got up and got dressed.

As I was paying her, I explained the various levels of compensation I provide based on services rendered. A straight massage is 500 pesos (plus tip). Providing a happy ending ups the ante to the 1000-2000 range, depending on the method used to bring about a satisfying result. I also mentioned that I give 3000+ for boom-boom. She said “okay”. Which I took to mean she understood, but it turns out she wanted the sex option. It was my turn to be surprised.

Now, Happy is 23 years old with two kids. But when I got her undressed and into bed, she just wanted to lay there like a starfish. I tried to spark some interest with oral which just made her squirm around and try to push my head away. I may not be a master with my tongue, but I’d never been refused either. Happy told me it was the first time for her. Hmm. Well, if she didn’t want my mouth I figured I’d try hers. Nope, she’d never done that before either. Or so she says. I don’t think she was pretending though–my impression from her physical responses to my touch was that she just doesn’t like sex. Well, I don’t like sex with a partner who can’t even fake a little enthusiasm, so I just told her never mind. I’m not sure how she wound up getting pregnant twice.

Weird experience.

I actually had previously scheduled another massage for this morning. She was supposed to arrive at 0900. Around ten she messaged that she had an “emergency” and couldn’t make it after all. The back story here is that she needed money for food on Friday and asked that I pay her in advance for today’s massage. Well, let’s just say that her failure to appear today was not a complete surprise. And she’s fired now, of course.

What do you say when a Filipina exits your life for one reason or another? “Next!”

Anyway, it’s Hash Monday so I reckon I can just walk it off. Lamenting first-world problems in a third-world country is a silly undertaking anyway. I’m living the dream!

Another day in the life and another post here at LTG. All is right with the world!

Well, I’m still not quite right. Stamina and energy are at low ebbs lately. I managed a 9K solo walk yesterday but it was a struggle. I kept trying to talk myself into taking a shortcut or even, heaven forbid, cheating and taking a trike back home. In the end, I prevailed over the evil thoughts and completed my hike as originally intended.

I also had good intentions for a similar hike this morning. All the way through putting on my hiking shoes. But then I couldn’t manage to drag myself out the door and do it. My only bad excuse is that I got winded on a short incline walking the dogs this morning. So, I convinced myself to give it a rest. I do feel guilty about it though.

“Happy”, my new favorite bargirl, is scheduled to perform massage services for me for the first time later this afternoon. I’m not sure what to expect but that’s fine too. Straight massage or something extra will be entirely up to her. And the level of compensation I provide will vary accordingly. She’s a cutie though, and I’m looking forward to her hands on my tired old body.

I popped into the Kitchenette last night. The place was hopping, at least in terms of beer drinkers. Unfortunately, Maris is not allowed to sell beer under the terms of her lease. Beer is purchased from the beer bar down on the beach which is also owned by Kitchenette’s landlord. I guess it is not that big a deal, the Kitchenette had a big day on food sales, but it’s a bit of a pain in the ass to hike down for buckets of beer at 70 pesos per bottle. In fact, the bar actually ran out of beer before the Kitchenette closed, so we bought beer from the small store nearby at only 45 pesos a bottle. That might be the way to go in the future.

For those of you who enjoy photos from my walks, here are a few from yesterday’s adventure:

But that was yesterday, and yesterday’s gone. You can Relive it here though if you so desire:

That’s all for now. Thanks for stopping by. And don’t forget to check out Kevin’s walk blog. Great photos from Day 1.

It's like I'm sitting at a bus stop waiting for a train
Exactly how I got here is hard to explain
My heart's in the right place, what's left of it I guess
My heart ain't the problem, it's my mind that's a total mess
With these rickety old legs and watery eyes
It's hard to believe that I could pass for anybody's prize
Here's what I know about the gifts that God gave
You can't take 'em with you when you go to the grave

Every once in a while I’m out on a solo hike listening to a random playlist on Spotify a song pops up that knocks my socks off. That’s how it felt anyway when I heard “It ain’t over yet” by Randy Crowell this morning. I’m a little embarrassed to admit I’d never heard of him or the song before. When I checked him out on Wikipedia I was surprised to learn he’s been around a long time and is highly regarded in country music circles. Hell, he was even married at one time to one of my favorites, Roseanne Cash. I’ve been out of touch with American culture for a long time now and it shows.

Here in my insular little world, life continues in much the same way that it does every day. I’m happy to report that my eyesight seems to be improving day by day. I don’t even miss my glasses, although I still instinctively reach for them from time to time.

It’s also nice waking up to a beautiful morning. The air is clear again. Blue skies, scattered clouds, mountains in the background, and of course, the blue waters of the bay. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the views, and the scenery is a damn fine anti-depressant. I look around and think, “what do I have to feel bad about? I’m a lucky man!”

There are even interesting things to see when the sun goes down. Like last night at Marick’s:

Alright then, I promised some photos from yesterday’s group hike and I’ll get to them in just a sec. But first, in case you missed it, Kevin Kim has started his long trek from near the DMZ to Busan along the east coast of Korea. So, my walks are nothing compared to that, but I really enjoy following along on his walking adventures. He’s also got great photos and commentary on his journey. Kevin created a special blog for this purpose and you can travel with him at Kevin’s Walk 5.

My Friday group of hikers did a 6k march yesterday which carried us about 2/3 of the way up Kalaklan Ridge, then across the hillsides overlooking Rizal Extension, and finishing up on My Bitch back into Alta Vista. I’ve got to say, I’m still not 100% and it was a struggle at times to keep moving forward. My hike mates said I looked a lot better than I did on Wednesday, so that’s encouraging at least. To the photos then:

That brings y’all up to date. We will see what Saturday night has in store for me.

It ain't over yet, I'll say this about that
You can get up off the mat or you can lay there till you die
It ain't over yet, here's the truth my friend
You can't pack it in and we both know why
It ain't over yet

I’m going to have to keep this post short and sweet (is that cheering I hear?) because I’m operating on battery power. No electricity for at least a couple more hours during this scheduled “brownout”. The worst part is that I have no water. In the old house, a lack of power meant no hot water but here because there’s a water pump I get no water at all. Did a group hike up in the mountains this morning, so I’m a smelly old thing right now. I’m going to forego darts today in deference to the other patrons in the bar.

I did my standard bar crawl (Marick’s, It Doesn’t Matter, and The Pub) last night. Well, The Pub was about eating more than drinking and I went with the chicken enchiladas.

I had a discussion in the comments not long ago about the pitfalls of messing with a married woman in this country. It’s a crime for one thing. But it also puts you in a position to be blackmailed and extorted. The Filipina Pea has an informative video about what can go wrong that you may find interesting. I did. Especially since that married woman continues to harangue me about wanting to meet. This is a good way to remind myself to NOT have a weak moment.

Okay, I’ll be back with a bigger and better post tomorrow, featuring photos from today’s hike.

But I didn’t cross the line.

Had a late night yesterday. Well, there is a 10:00 p.m. curfew, so most bars start closing down around 9:30. That’s something I rarely see these days as my normal bedtime is around 9:00. What got into me? Well, quite a few beers. But I also had places to go and people to see.

I started out at Marick’s bar and the place was packed. There were two other guys and me in there. Plus two bar girls and Marick. Did I mention I’ve seen bigger walk-in closets? Anyway, it’s got a good vibe and Marick is looking for something larger. Good luck with that!

I said my goodbyes at Marick’s then headed up the street to It Doesn’t Matter. Hadn’t been there for over a week. My old favorite bargirl “Roberta” came out and joined me. A vendor came by and I wound up buying two dresses for Roberta. I did let her know that I was doing this as a gesture of kindness to the poor woman lugging clothes on hangers up and down the street.

I continued making my way up the highway and stopped at Wet Spot, one of my most frequented bars prior to the pandemic. I was on a mission to find the owner so I could repay an act of kindness he had bestowed upon me last year. The best way I knew how was to buy him a drink. Mission accomplished!

Now, Daddy Dave is more than just a man about town. I think of him as the mayor of the expat community. He also heads the Barrio Barretto Business Association and represents the small business community in dealings with the mayor of Olongapo and the barangay Captain. He has successfully worked with city leadership on pandemic-related issues and unlike the surrounding cities which feature alcohol bans, earlier curfews, and other business-killing and totally ineffective policies, Olongapo is open for business. We are lucky to have Dave on our side for sure!

It had been months since we’ve sat and chatted so I was especially pleased to find him last night. We had a good talk about the issues of the day, enjoyed our drinks, and looked forward to better times.

After Wet Spot, I moved on to The Pub. It was Wingsday after all. That’s when I realized how late it was getting. The only other customers left as I was placing my order and the waitresses were cleaning up and preparing to close while my wings were cooking. I caught a trike around 9:40 and was home well ahead of the witching hour.

The eye doc and I had agreed to an early morning appointment to facilitate his travel to Manila to perform laser surgery. My driver picked me and the helper up at 6:00 and we arrived ten minutes before the agreed-upon 6:30 appointment. The security guard said the doctor hadn’t arrived yet. My driver asked, “now what?” and I said let’s go to McDonald’s! Everyone was in favor of that idea. Had the sausage and egg McMuffin and it hit the spot.

Got back to the hospital at a quarter to seven and the guard still wouldn’t let us in. I was getting pissed but managed to refrain from saying anything I might regret later. Apparently, one of the orderlies went upstairs to check, came back down, and said the doctor was, in fact, in the office. The guard relented and let us pass the threshold into the hospital. Good thing, too. I really had to pee.

Anyway, the doctor seemed to think my eyes were progressing normally and verified my supposition that it takes time for the brain to adapt to the input from a properly functioning eye. So, the blurriness at distance is supposedly nothing to be concerned about at this point. I’m to come back once a week for a month for progress checks. If after a month I’m still not seeing clearly I can opt for either glasses or laser surgery. I’ve got to say, I don’t miss wearing my glasses. I still instinctively reach for them on occasion though.

Once I got back home I set the wheels in motion to get a new passport. Mine expires in December and I got it worked out so that my tourist visa expires on the same day as the passport. I’m using a local travel agency to handle all the details, I’d rather pay them $150. than deal with all hassles of getting everything to the embassy in Manila and back. Was told I should have my new passport in three or four weeks.

Had a wonderful massage from my friend “Merideth”. She was pleasantly surprised when I asked her to come over. I really appreciate the fact that she doesn’t pester me and gives good service when called upon. I’m a lucky guy!

But enough about me. Here are those pictures from Wednesday’s hike I promised:

That’s pretty much it. Tomorrow is going to suck though.

Oh well, I’ll get through it.

What do you expect?

Looks like I won’t be eating pumpkin pie anytime soon.

So, I wasn’t feeling keen for a hike this morning, but when “Pam”, the gal I met on the hike last week messaged me asking where the meet-up was, I figured what the hell, don’t want to miss out on seeing her again. I’m not sure you can imagine my surprise and disappointment when she got out of her mom’s car and a young Filipino got out of the back seat. I almost bailed on the hike then and there, but pride wouldn’t let me wimp out.

Pam pretty much ignored me for the duration of the hike. I was slower than usual because of my weakened condition. That provided the vantage point for me to watch them goofing around like young lovers tend to do. Oh well, it just wasn’t meant to be the way my overactive imagination said it could be.

I’ll post more pics from today’s hike tomorrow. Right now, I want to talk about darts. I was anxious to see how my new vision would affect my game. It was the first time I’d ever played in a dart tournament without wearing glasses. Frankly, I was disappointed. Not with the way I threw, although I was off my game, I can’t blame my eyesight for that. That’s just me being me. Prior to the surgery, I was having trouble seeing clearly where my darts had landed–I often had to ask the scorekeeper for clarification. It was no better, and possibly a little worse, last night. Several times during the match I threw and hit one number, but when I went to pull my darts, it wasn’t the number I thought I hit. That really can impact your strategy. In 501 you have to hit a double-out to win, so as you get close to the finish you want to leave your partner an even number to work with. In one game, I threw a 20, then hit a 1 with my next dart. So my third dart was at the 19 to keep things even for my partner’s outshot. Except when I went to pull my darts it turned out that I had thrown TWO 20s, and my third dart had made our score uneven. My partner gave me a “what the hell are you doing look?”.

It’s kind of weird, I can see clearly enough at close range to read, but an object a few feet away, like a dartboard, becomes blurry. I have a follow-up visit with the eye doctor in the morning and I’m going to asking about that. My theory is that my brain and my new eye aren’t in sync just yet but given a little more time I’ll begin to see things more clearly. Either that or I’m going to need new glasses.

What else? Well, the Hash beer meister is on an extended trip back to the states, so I volunteered to be the assistant beer meister until he returns.

And that pretty much brings you up to date. I’ll leave you with this thought:

Yesterday morning I made the trip out to Baypointe hospital in order to get the required COVID swab test done prior to my cataract surgery scheduled for tomorrow. You’d think this should be easy enough to accomplish, but then again, I am in the Philippines.

Outside the main entrance to the hospital is a check-in table. You tell them the purpose of your visit, they ask some questions about any symptoms you’ve experienced, then they take your temperature, and you get a pass to go inside. That’s how it’s gone on all my previous visits. Except the COVID testing is done in a tent at the end of the driveway. You still have to go inside to pay prior to the test though. Except if you are being tested for COVID you are not allowed to enter the hospital. A classic Catch-22 situation. Well, I had my helper along so she went inside to pay using my credit card. That’s a little scary too. At the grocery store, they check my ID to make sure the card is mine. Anyway, it took a while because there was a long line at the cashier, but after about twenty minutes she came back with the receipt I required.

I traipsed over to the tent and was tested immediately. The actual procedure was not as invasive as I feared. I mean, it is never fun to have something poked up your nose and down the back of your throat (two different swabs, just to be clear), but it didn’t hurt at all and didn’t take long to complete. And when I woke up this morning the results were in my email inbox.

Turns out the lab is positive that I am negative for COVID. No real surprise there. That means tomorrow morning I’ll be heading back over to Baypointe and getting my eye fixed. Hopefully. We’ll see if I can see clearly again.

Last night, I changed things up a bit and started my beer intake at Blue Butterfly. It’s an okay bar and the bargirl who latched onto me upon arrival was nice enough. At least she seemed to really like my jokes. Then again, I was buying her lady drinks, so that may have impacted sincerity in that regard. Thirty-nine years old and no kids, which is almost unheard of in this country. I seriously asked her if she were a lesbian and she said no. She didn’t trip my triggers much but we are Facebook friends now.

While I was at Blue Butterfly, Marick sent me a message to come visit her bar and meet the new waitress she just hired. Turns out Marick’s eyes are much better than mine. Her place is diagonally across the highway from BB, but she saw me sitting in the outside seating area. So, I stopped in for a couple.

The new girl is named Joy (yikes, another one!), 23 years old with two young kids. Claims to have never worked in a bar before. So naturally, I bought the first lady drink of her career.

This morning I had a very pleasant chat with Paula. Except it turns out her name is not Paula. It’s actually Paul Pearl, and she goes by Pearl. She says her mom just calls her Pau. She wasn’t able to join the hike today but is looking forward to future adventures–wants to climb the mountains. She seems smart and witty. Also doesn’t appear to be needy at all. No idea why a woman like this would like a man like me. Not saying she does, but based on our conversation this morning, there might be some kind of connection to build on. Time will tell I suppose.

As far as the hike goes, it was raining again this morning so we opted to just stay on the back streets of Barretto. The rain stopped before our meetup, and we managed to get in a 6.5K hike before it started again.

You can Relive the journey here if you want:

That’s about it from here for now. Hopefully, I’ll be back with more tomorrow. If not, it’s been nice knowing you!

…so I just used the couch.

Yep, another low-energy day. I had a 10:00 a.m. doctor appointment to attend to, so that forced me to get my lazy ass off the couch and out the door. Looks like the eye surgery is going to take place next Saturday. Oh, and prior to the operation, I’ve got to get the dreaded COVID swab test. That means another trip to Baypointe hospital on Wednesday. Oh well, I really need to get these eyes of mine working again. Doc says I might even be able to function without eyeglasses. That would be a treat, I’ve been wearing glasses for over 20 years now. But I’ll settle for just being able to see clearly enough to read with both eyes open and without getting fatigued. I can’t say for sure, but I’m thinking my recent laziness bout might be related to my declining eyesight. Thirty minutes on the computer and I need to take a nap it seems. One more week.

After completing my office visit, I decided to push myself a little by walking home. It’s only around 6K and mostly on the highway, but it was at least several thousand steps in the right direction.

Relive it here if you please.

For lunch, I had some leftover spaghetti and meatballs I made last night. Then took yet another nap. This post took a goodly portion of my remaining energy, but it is Saturday night and I must persevere!

How about some funny shit before I go?

How about this?

Alright, this is an old school, non-political, funny story:

VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?” John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.” “Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.” She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.

You are welcome! Back with more soon.

…where it stops, nobody knows. And just to be clear, I’m not in any hurry to find out. It may not be much of a life, but it’s the best one I’ve got. I actually kinda like it, and for me, that’s saying a lot. Here’s a sample:

You can’t see where you are going by looking backward. And I have gotten a lot better at living in the moment. But Facebook likes to remind me of moments I’ve lived in the past and the people I’ve shared them with.

Funny story behind that picture. It was our first night in Angeles City. We went into this bar and we were the only customers. All the girls came down off the stage and surrounded Eun Oke like she was a movie star. I guess they’d never seen a Korean female before. They were stroking her arms and touching her hair, talking K-pop and K-dramas, and Eun Oke was loving the attention. “Buy them all a drink!” she announced. I leaned over and advised, “you should pick one and buy her a drink.” She wasn’t having it. “Nope, drinks for everyone!” The next morning she says “so, how much did we spend last night?”. Around a hundred dollars, I told her. “How much do we spend when just me and you go out in Seoul?” she asked. I smiled and said around a hundred dollars. Anyway, it was a fun trip and she had a blast. On our last night there she broke up with me, but that’s a different story.

Last night, I did my weekly trip out to It Doesn’t Matter bar and spent some time in the company of my current favorite bargirl, Roan. Great sense of humor and she can hold up her end of a conversation. I like that! I told her last night I was going to take her to Seoul. For dinner on her day off. At the Korean restaurant named Seoul on the old Navy base. Should be fun!

I heard from Judy today. She’s currently the only remaining friend with benefits in my stable. Unlike the recently fired Joy, Judy didn’t beg me for money. She begged me to let her give me a massage. Yeah, it may be a subtle difference, but that’s the way the FWB program is supposed to work–I help you, you help me. I wasn’t really in the mood for a massage but I let her come over anyway. After we were done, we cuddled some on the bed. I liked that.

Here’s a good example of why Judy is not girlfriend material, despite being very attractive, sweet, and kind. When I agreed to the massage I asked if she could come at noon. She said yes. And then she asked me “what time is noon?”. Seriously, that had me shaking my head. The Philippines has a reputation of being an English-speaking nation, but there are very few Filipinas that I’ve met who can actually engage in any semblance of a meaningful conversation. And yeah, I know it likely has as much to do with the type of women I meet in the places I tend to frequent, but still, I had better conversations with the Korean bargirls I met over the years. I think the quality of education in the Philippines has really deteriorated. The sex is good here though, so there’s that.

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that we have officially entered the holiday season here. I came across this article today that sheds a little more light on that unique cultural aspect of life in the Philippines. Read it if you care.

So, that leaves the Wednesday Walkers group hike to talk about. It was kind of like deja vu all over again. And a little ironic I suppose. One of the reasons I hadn’t done the Monday Hash trail was not wanting to take the uncomfortable ride out to Olongapo. So, of course, that’s what we did yesterday. Not as far out as Monday, and no need to make a transfer to another Jeepney, but still. We also climbed up a steep-ass hill to Kalaklan ridge. Not as long and hard as the climb up on Monday’s Hash, but plenty challenging for this old fart. And once we reached the top of that climb, I found myself back on the ridgeline road that I had hiked as my alternative trail on Monday. And there was still a good bit of uphill to complete. Anyway, it was still good to be out and about. Here are the photos:

That’s the way it is around here. And it suits me just fine, thank you!

That’s one way to spend a Saturday night anyway. I had really just intended to drop by the new Kitchenette to see how things were going. Hard my darts with me planning on playing the tourney. But once I’d settled in, inertia took over and I kept my ass on the stool until closing time.

The place is not a bar, in fact, they are not allowed to sell beer. Beer has to be purchased from the Beach Please bar out back by the water. The owner there is the landlord for the Kitchenette. No big deal, I just walk down and order a bucket of 6 beers for 400 pesos and take them back to the kitchen. It’s comfortable enough there, open-air and a nice highway view. It certainly won’t be my hangout place, but I’ll not mind dropping by now and then.

You can’t make a judgment on how well things are going based on one night of observations, especially when it is only the second day of operations. With that caveat in mind, I’d say things are going reasonably well so far. Apparently, the lunchtime business was enough to stress out the proprietor/cook. She’s going to definitely need to hire at least one person who can cook to assist her. During the time I was there I saw a pretty steady stream of customers, mostly girls from the nearby bars, stopping in for some food to take back with them. After the lunch rush, the available menu offerings were quite limited. I chided the owner about that, telling her to keep enough food in stock or reduce the number of dishes you serve. People get frustrated when they can’t get what they want and that’s something that will make it less likely for them to return in the future. I got the “shut up and mind your own business” look, so I just drank my beer and watched.

Turns out not enough people showed up at Alley Cats to have a tourney, but a couple of them came by the Kitchenette to eat. Troy brought one of the prettiest gals I’ve seen in a long time with him. She sat next to me and I had a hard time keeping my eyes to myself. She’s 22 years old which is 1/3 my age. How’s that for symmetry? Anyway, she isn’t on the menu so the feast was only eye candy.

I got a laugh when Mango’s, which is only a couple of doors down, called in an order for eight servings of rice. Apparently, they ran out of rice and had a big group to serve. It’s a start, and if the Kitchenette can fill a niche market of bargirls, trike drivers, and restaurant gaps, it might work out. I’d give them a 50-50 shot at this point.

So, after all this time I finally have a woman sending me messages like this one:

Jonh….im so really happy this morning wen i see you…you makes my heart happy everytime i see your smile… you are so amazing person….and i always feel your presense..Enter

You are so different person jonh…..you have no idea how happy i am since i met and know you….you are so great…person…theres is none like you…in my life…

That’s the latest in a series of similar thoughts. Now, to be clear, I have no current contact at all with this woman, other than on messenger. When I met her in the past in person, it was completely platonic. I mean, I was willing, but she wasn’t. And that’s where we left if for several months until she started with the loving messages again. So, when she says she “saw me” today, it was literally a case of me walking by on the road. She sent me some sexy pics too, but I’m too much of gentleman to share those. Plus, I promised I wouldn’t. So, what’s the problem? Well, I am cursed after all. This one is already married.

Anyway, I’ve told her I’m not interested in adultery. That hasn’t slowed down her messages (the photos are a new tactic though). I guess I haven’t blocked her (yet) because she says the things I’ve always wanted to hear. Damn, it would be great to have someone who felt that way about me in my life. Still, I don’t really encourage her and I constantly remind her that she is not free. I can’t tell her what to feel, but there is nothing I can or will do about it.

I will look at those pictures some more though.

…as a 66-year-old man about town.

So, the party was at a place called Maris’ Kitchenette. Now, whether the party was a grand opening event or for my birthday is a matter of perspective. There was a cake with candles and my name on it, and I paid for the beer. The food was given away for free too (and technically, I paid for that too) I got there about 1:00 and there were already quite a few people in attendance, and more came and went throughout the day. I knew most everyone there and received the customary birthday greetings and songs. I enjoyed myself and that’s as it should be, right?

I’m sorry, but I didn’t pay much attention to the food. I know there was a pancit noodle dish, chicken wings, shanghai lumpia, and a few other offerings. Not the full menu, but lots of volume. Also all gone by closing time.

Once the party wound down and the kitchenette closed up, we moved next door to Mango’s where I treated the hard-working staff to a roast chicken dinner.

The ideal tyranny is that which is ignorantly self-administered by its victims. The most perfect slaves are, therefore, those which blissfully and unawaredly enslave themselves. – Dresden James

I posted that quote on Facebook EIGHT years ago. Talk about predicting the future!

Speaking of the Facebook memories feature, they also shared these gems from the past:

Oh, and get a load of what Facebook put over one of the memes I posted today:

It actually gets worse. The fact-check states that “No, Jill Biden wasn’t a teenage babysitter for Joe Biden’s family.” Okay then, so everything else stated in the meme must be true. Got it!

Anyway, here’s another grenade I threw up on Facebook this morning. And yes, liberal heads are already exploding.

Alright, let’s change the subject and talk about meat.

Alright, so that leaves us with yesterday’s Wednesday Walkers hike. We collectively decided to do the half of the Hash trail we had shortcut on Monday. But we did it in reverse. That involved a long, hard climb up the big mountain from Abra street. Once we were up though, it was actually quite pleasant. Going back down was a little tricky in places, but that’s normal.

There I was hiking and feeling fit.

Tried to fart, and it came out shit.

Yeah, that happened to me on the way to the meet-up location at VFW. I didn’t have time to turn around and go home to change, so I took my handkerchief and shoved it down my shorts hoping to capture whatever moisture my underwear didn’t. I was able to get into the restroom at the Dennito hotel to survey the damage. Yep, I had bleed-through in the crotch of my lightly colored shorts. Made it pretty obvious I had shit myself. Nothing to be done but to undertake an impromptu handwashing of the shorts and undies in the sink. So, I came out wearing soaking wet shorts, but no one asked me what happened. Thankfully. Oh, and I threw away my formerly white hankie.

The shitty part made the rest of the hike seem that much nicer. I’ve got pictures from the good part:

But before I go, let me share a joke I thought was pretty funny:

A 70-year-old billionaire walked into a pub with his 25-year-old girlfriend. His friend asked him how he managed to get a girl less than half his age. The billionaire replied, “I lied about my age on the dating site.” His friend retorted, “ That was a dreadful thing to do – how old did you say you were ……………. 35, 40, 45?””

No,” said the billionaire, “I told her I was 90!”

Even funnier, I told this to a bargirl the other night but forgot to mention the billionaire part. Once I delivered the punchline, she asked “oh, was he rich?” Maybe it is something in the genes here…

Speaking of jokes…