Started my day yesterday with an 8K solo hike. As I was leaving the house I almost turned around and went back. I was feeling so down I just wasn’t wanting to do anything. I forced myself to march on though, and near the end of my trek, I noticed how much better my mental state was. You really can walk your blues away it seems. I’ll put up a few photos later in this post.

My other big “accomplishment” for the day was finishing the Ricky Gervais’ After Life series on Netflix. It’s the story of how a man comes to deal with losing the love of his life to breast cancer. Although nothing so traumatic has happened to me of course, I could still relate to some of the insights and lessons the protagonist gains as he moves on with life. I confess I cried during the last episode, which might say more about me than the show. I honestly can’t recommend the series though. I think if you aren’t in a certain frame of mind it’s all just a little too dark. Or maybe British humor (humour) just goes over my head. I did enjoy most of the music and songs that played during some scenes. Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now was the background tune to the final scene in the last episode.

Here’s the trailer for Season Three if you want a taste:

It should come as no surprise that my plans for Sunday evening included drinking enough beer to make forgetting easier. I started that process at It Doesn’t Matter and was making some early progress when things changed. A message popped up on my phone from “Inez”, someone I hadn’t heard from in several months. She said she was in Barretto and asked if I wanted to meet and catch up. I said sure, and we agreed to rendevous at BarCelona when she was finished at the beauty salon.

It was a little surreal seeing her again. We’d actually only had one “date” way back when and it really hadn’t gone all that well. We stayed in touch for a while after that on Facebook but had drifted apart to the point of no direct contact. I guess what triggered her message was that I had seen her in an outdoor restaurant as I walked by during the Hash last week. And now here she was sitting with my drunk ass on the rooftop of BarCelona. We had a nice view of the Central Park Reef hotel and she said she had never been. I told her about how nice it was and she wanted to go there. So, I made a date with her for March 13, her first available off day.

Well, I know she is not the “one” or anything like that. I think we will remain firmly in the friend zone and I’m fine with that. Still, it was strange that she happened to step back into my life at this particular time. I realized that I had been looking backward and dwelling on what I lost, and now suddenly, I had something to look forward to. Funny how that works. And thank you for that, Inez.

Here are the photos from my hike I promised:

Relive it here if you have a hankering.

It’s Hash Monday so I’ll be back on trail this afternoon. Look for a full report tomorrow.

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Ah, the saga of a lonely man continues. Well, just because you are lonely doesn’t mean you have to be alone. I’m actually on the introvert side of the personality spectrum, but I prefer having people around when I’m drinking. That’s why I rarely drink at home. I’m not saying I need to have company with me at the bar, but being in the company of other patrons gives me something to look at while I imbibe. Entertainment if you will. Of course, the thirsty bargirls make their living by sitting with lonely strangers and I’m okay with that too on occasion. Anyway, it being Saturday night and all, and with the pain of my recent breakup needing medication, I headed into town with the intention of drinking copious amounts of alcohol in the form of beer. Here’s an illustrated story of the night’s events.

I had thought about stopping in at Outback and/or Queen Victoria before calling it a night but went back home instead after a brief detour at the Car Wash. Yeah, I’m having a hard time letting go. But what’s done is done. I’ll find a way to live with it.

I made a special meal for the special person who has chosen to depart from my life. It occurred to me that I had never demonstrated my grilling skills for her and I wanted to give a final culinary memory as my parting gift. I bought some steaks from John Kim at The Pub and had everything ready to go. The only question that remained was whether she would consent to dine with me. It didn’t look good at first but in the end, she agreed to join me for a last supper.

So, the meat, a baked potato, mixed vegetables, baked beans, and garlic bread. Overall, I’d rate it a B-. I prefer ribeyes, but these Angus cuts were tender and tasty. I got distracted in the house and when I came back to check the grill there was some flame broiling in progress. The fatty parts were blackened but no other real damage. I wasn’t happy with the potatoes though–my timing was off and they weren’t as soft as I like on the inside. She said she would have preferred the garlic bread a little toastier, but I always make it soft. Next time…oh wait, never mind. The veggies were good.

After she left I went into town and sat on the roof of BarCelona and tried to drown my sorrows.

Breakfast at Harley’s before my Friday group hike this morning.

And so it goes. A challenging hike this morning that I’ll post about tomorrow. Friday evening darts to come. And I expect I’ll quaff a few more beers than normal tonight to help ease the transition back into my solitary lifestyle.

I knew this day was coming. We agreed her chosen path was the right one to pursue and see where it leads. I wish her nothing but happiness. I’m going to miss her though. When it comes to love there is no such thing as a happy ending. But I have no regrets and I’m glad our ultimate parting was on friendly terms.

Good luck to you always, babe. Thanks for the memories.

And so it goes. Until it doesn’t. All you can do is enjoy the ride as best you can. The adventure is seeing what’s around the next corner. Bring it on!

I don’t know what I’m feeling these days. Melancholy might be close. But I’ve been in darker places. Actually, I’m just doing what I used to do to fill in the time. It may not be all that exciting, but there is comfort in the familiarity. Here’s how my yesterday went down.

Came back home and did my computer time, including writing yesterday’s blog entry. I got a kick out of the comments regarding my inartful, or should I say incorrect, articulation in the post title–One of these is different than the other; subsequently changed to the proper form of: One of these is different from the other. I never even gave it a thought because in my mind that’s how I would have said it. I stand corrected!

Anyway, life is for learning and I do appreciate the lesson.

I also finished Season Two of the Ricky Gervais Netflix series, After Life. It’s fair to call it a black comedy, although truth be told, it’s not all that funny. What I like about it are the pearls of wisdom in dealing with loss and depression that occasionally shine through. In the last episode, one of the characters referenced a Robert Frost quote: “In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.” Frost is one of my favorite poets and I was unfamiliar with the context, so I did a Google search and found this:

“In all your years and all your travels,” I asked, “what do you think is the most important thing you’ve learned about life?”

He paused a moment, then with the twinkle sparkling under those brambly eyebrows he replied: “In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on. In all the confusions of today, with all our troubles . . . with politicians and people slinging the word fear around, all of us become discouraged . . . tempted to say this is the end, the finish. But life — it goes on. It always has. It always will. Don’t forget that.

Frost said that back in 1954, but damn, those words resonate in these troubled times as well. I wasn’t even born when he uttered those words but the fact that I found comfort in them long after his death says to me that indeed, life goes on.

Beer o’clock rolled around and as is my custom, I made my way into town.

I was undecided about where to go for my liquid refreshment. My old haunts just seem so unsatisfying these days. And I really wasn’t feeling up for the whole “buy me a drink” routine from the desperate bargirls. I was thinking I’d just spend the evening looking at the beach, so I headed over to Mango’s.

For any of you who might think beer is something I enjoy to excess, I have signed on for this upcoming event:

And then I went home.

I ordered up some coasters for my friend’s bars a while back and they arrived this morning:

It’s another Hash Monday, so stay tuned for a full report on that event tomorrow.

The Friday morning group hike turned out to be the highlight of my day. I didn’t play in the dart tournament because one of my darts is still being repaired. That left the third aspect of my life–drinking beer. The problem with that is that I haven’t been able to reacclimate myself to enjoying the meaninglessness of the bar scene. Yeah, I know, give it time.

The truth of the matter is that I feel myself sliding into the black hole of depression. I’ve been there before and I’m confident I’ll be able to claw my way back out, but damn, losing at love again has just turned my world upside down. I don’t know what to do next, especially when the things I used to do have lost much of their appeal. Maybe that will change with time.

It probably doesn’t help that I’ve not been feeling well physically either. Stomach is not right and I’m just generally out of sorts. I tried to walk this morning and aborted the effort before I got out of the neighborhood. Just been lazing around the house ever since thinking about things that are better left unsaid. I hope I feel better soon.

Sorry for this downer of a post. But at least I have some pictures of the hike to share.

You can Relive the hike here if you want.

That’s it for today. It’s bound to be better soon.

Drinking my blues away was the objective and as far as I can remember it was a successful endeavor. Started out in the early afternoon at Harley’s on Baloy where I participated with my Lagoon teammates in 10-3 thrashing in dart league action.

I had achieved a pretty nice buzz by the end of the dart match, but I was just getting started. I needed to get one of my darts repaired so I walked further down Baloy Beach road to the Viking resort. Cristy, one of the dart players there, has the equipment needed to fix my broken dart, so I left it with her. Viking had just finished putting a whipping on Johan’s, and a couple of the gals from Johan’s I know were still there, so naturally, I greeted them. They left before I concluded my business with Cristy.

Since I was already in the middle of Baloy I decided to continue my drinking at a nice little beach bar nearby called McCoy’s. As I walked up I was surprised to see the two gals from Johan’s there as well. Turns out one of them was having a birthday, so I bought a round of drinks in her honor. Now, the one thing I don’t like about McCoy’s is they have a karaoke machine, and it is apparently always set at full volume. Some young woman was wailing away when I arrived. Normally, I just move on to somewhere else, but since the birthday girl wanted a drink, I stuck around. She eventually decided she wanted a turn on the videoke machine, so she deposited the requisite coins and grabbed the mike. I don’t remember what she sang, but it sounded alright.

And then she insisted that I take a turn. Play the video below at your own peril. You’ve been warned!

It always sounds so much better in my head. Ah well. Even bad singing doesn’t impact the view from McCoy’s:

After a couple of beers, I decided to head on back to Barretto. As I passed by my ex’s place, I thought, fuck it, I’m going in. Dick didn’t seem happy to see me but the ex joined me at my table for a glass of wine. I’m glad we are still on friendly terms.

After a few more beers and a chicken burger the ex ordered for me, I decided to visit It Doesn’t Matter. It’s been quite a while since I’ve been in any of my old haunts, and I was given a warm welcome back by the staff. I also got to have a nice chat with my favorite there, Roan. It was after 10 p.m. now and I’d been drinking for over 8 hours. I was at my limit. I don’t even remember paying my tab, I’ll check on that tonight. Caught a trike on home and my drunken Wednesday came to a close.

Here are some photos from the Wednesday Walkers hike for those of you who enjoy the scenery.

Anyway, time for me to get on with my Thursday drinking. Gonna hit Cheap Charlies to start and get reacquainted with my favorites there. Also, a couple of new bars have opened since my barhopping days were interrupted in the pursuit of love. Now that it is just me again, I have no one else to disappoint. Life has its compensations I suppose.

The girlfriend packed her things this morning and left me. The fact that this ending was inevitable doesn’t make it any less painful. I love her but sometimes love just isn’t enough. And I had promised that when this day came I would support her decision. You can’t love someone and not do whatever it takes for her to be happy, even at the cost of your own happiness. We parted with a hug and a promise to hold on to the memory of the love we shared. That is a much better ending than the “fuck off” it could have been. I’m thankful for that.

And that is how this first day of the rest of my life began. I did a long hike with the Wednesday Walkers group this morning. That did help me clear my head a little. Next up is darts league. And after that, I expect I’ll find a comfortable place to sit and drink my pain away. Yep, time to embrace the meaninglessness and emptiness of my life without love once again. The best part of that is that no one can hurt me there.

Well, I’ll be damned. I made it to Valentine’s Day with some semblance of a relationship still intact. It may not be all I wanted or expected it to be, but its survival, in and of itself, defies all odds. No idea what will happen next but I’ll worry about that tomorrow.

I started my VD eve at the Palm Tree hotel for beers and dinner.

After dinner, I spent a couple of more hours hanging out at the GF’s resto-bar while she took care of business. A little boring sometimes but the beer is cold. Beats drinking alone, that’s for sure.

I’ve also begun watching a series on Netflix produced by and starring Ricky Gervais, After Life. It’s a dark, comedic take on the life of the protagonist (Gervais) after the tragic passing of his beloved wife. I’m only halfway through the first season, but so far, so good. The third and final season debuted last month. Only six 30-minute episodes per season, so I don’t have to invest a large portion of my precious time to get through it. Give it a watch if you are so inclined.

And those Facebook memories strike again! Nine years ago I crafted this parody poem when I fancied myself to be a semi-pro darter who went by the handle of “Walrus”.

The Walrus at the Oche

The outlook was looking bleak that night as 501 did play
His opponent sat on a double 16--an out he could hit any day
While the Walrus was faced with a hefty sixty and a ton
A possible out for sure--but one he'd never done

It would have been much closer but he was throwing like a dope
So there didn't seem to be much cause for having any hope
A victory seemed unlikely, but then you never know
And win or lose you still got to make the throw

The Walrus swigged his beer then stepped up to the line
It could have been that he was drunk or just really feeling fine
When Jee Yeun shouted "fighting baby" he let go with a small fart
There wasn't any question it was The Walrus with the dart

There was ease in his manner as The Walrus took his stance
He took a breath, shook his head, and wiped his hands upon his pants
He gazed upon his target and then let his Widow fly
When the chalker called out "triple" The Walrus heaved a sigh

"He always was a lucky fuck" someone muttered in the crowd
"Come on! let's see another one!" shouted others right out loud
It hadn't seemed that hot before but The Walrus did perspire
And then he threw another dart--a triple, just inside the wire

And now what seemed impossible was just a 40 out
The Walrus was feeling confident, there wasn't any doubt
He owned the double 20, or so he liked to think
He'd throw this dart, win the match, and buy the house a drink

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout
But there is no joy in Itaewon--The Walrus has bounced out.

(with apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer) 

And no, I didn’t quit my day job–that was during my first go at retirement.

Such is life. I’m older but not much wiser. At least I don’t smoke and there’s a lot less of me these days. Let’s see what happens next.

It occurs to me that love is not an all-or-nothing proposition. A relationship might not always develop in ways that you had hoped for but the underlying foundation of love ought to be strong enough to keep the bond alive. You can lose someone but not lose the love if that makes any sense. Anyway, I’m glad that there has not been a crash and burn ending. Instead, a different but deeper understanding of what is important and an openness to whatever may lay ahead has been developing. I’m happy for that.

Yesterday was pretty much a lazy day, didn’t even bother to get off my ass and take a hike. Of course, when beer o’clock rolled around I found the motivation to head into town for some liquid refreshment. I plopped myself down at the outdoor poolside bar at Outback and drank alone for a couple of hours.

We moved up the beach to Mango’s and enjoyed the grilled pork chop dinner together. Then it was back to her new place, The Snack Bar. I had some more beers while she took care of some business. I was a little snockered when I finally got home but still managed to blend up a batch of smoothies and watch an episode of Cobra Kai.

I also did a 6.5K stroll this morning.

You can Relive the hike here if you want:

That’s about it from here. It’s always good to remind yourself it could be worse.

See you tomorrow I hope.

When you’re an older man, there are fewer dreams you can fulfill.

Yesterday started with a trip to the dentist. I’ve been dethroned so I need a new crown. Got a cleaning while I was there too.

Had lunch at a new place in Calapadayan.

After lunch, we took a walk on Baloy Beach and enjoyed views like this one.

Anyway, that was yesterday. Today was a whole other story. More on that tomorrow.

Sorry for yesterday’s cryptic post. I was having a bad day. Today is a new day and maybe that rotation of the earth provided some much-needed perspective. At least now I am resolved to accept the bad that comes with the good and not let my emotions overwhelm me when things aren’t going right. I’m still not sure what the long-range will bring but I do feel a bit more in control of my destiny. I’m confident I’ll figure out an acceptable way forward.

There were some positive aspects to the day. The Wednesday Walkers hike was a nice distraction. We inadvertently took a path that led us to one of the hardest climbs I’ve attempted in quite some time. It was a steep motherfucker and covered in loose leaves and soft dirt. Trying to get a grip to avoid sliding backward after each step was a real challenge. We eventually made it to the top unscathed after what we all agreed would be a once-in-a-lifetime event–never going that way again! I still came away with a sense of accomplishment, so there’s that. Pictures from the hike are at the bottom of this post.

My Lagoon dart league team pulled off a 12-1 victory over our opponents from Queen Victoria bar. It was closer than the score indicates–we won the games but didn’t dominate. That kind of challenge makes darts more fun.

A former teammate of ours lives at Lagoon in one of their monthly studio apartments. He’s been hospitalized at a public hospital in Olongapo for the past week. That particular hospital has a reputation amongst the expats as “the place where you go to die”. We had been working on making arrangements to have him transferred to a much better facility in Angeles City. In the process of getting him released, we were advised he had tested positive for COVID. That precluded sending him to Angeles City. We were all gobsmacked to learn that he was still being released but would have to undergo home quarantine for seven days. So, he was transported by ambulance back to a resort hotel where presumably he’ll be confined to his room. Crazy times, but wishing him the best.

To those hike photos then:

…feeling blue.

Last night might have been my worst since moving to the Philippines. It’s a special kind of pain when you are honestly doing your best but your best just isn’t good enough. How do you fix that?

It’s another whacked Wednesday. Did my morning hike with the Walkers group. Now I need to shower up and get ready for dart league. I really hate feeling rushed and not having time for my nap. Oh well.

Speaking of darts, I went undefeated through the winner’s bracket, then dropped out of the tournament last night. My mind was somewhere else altogether and I just wasn’t feeling it.

Yeah, I’m falling apart. I need to figure out how to get my shit together and get back to being content with my life. So much for my illusions of being in control of my emotions.

This too shall pass. Hopefully soon.

Just a real quick update here before I head out for the Monday Hash run.

In a twisted kind of way the Dick’s attempt to undermine my relationship backfired biggly. My gal and I had a long conversation about where things stand and she showed a great deal of maturity in concluding that anything I may have done was in the past and has nothing to do with us. She said I’ve shown her the kind of man I am and she trusts her own judgment.

As we continued to talk, I was reminded of the generational gap issues some commenters here had warned me about. My gal told me that notwithstanding her love for me, she had goals in life she wanted to pursue. And at least one of those involves moving out of the country, perhaps returning to Japan. I was a little taken aback at first but then I realized that I could totally understand and relate. Hell, I was 50 years old when I left my friends, family, and comfortable life behind to move to Korea. That changed everything for me. I also thought of people in my past who put me on roads that I might not have otherwise traveled. Iris Breed, for example, convinced me to pursue a management career. KaraLynne Pope and her professor friends gave me the confidence to complete my college degree. I’m not saying there wasn’t some pain involved along the way, but looking back, I likely wouldn’t have been nearly as successful in life had I remained in my safe places.

My definition of love has not led to many successful relationships, but I was struck by my reaction to the news that I would likely lose my newly found relationship somewhere down the road. I told my gal that her happiness was what mattered the most to me, and I would support her pursuit of those goals, even if it meant that she would be taken away from me at some point in the future. I can’t be everything she wants and needs in life, but I can be supportive and loving wherever her life takes her. At my age, I pride myself on living one day at a time. At her age, she is right to dream about the future she most desires. I told her as long as we are together I will be happy to share my life. When the time comes for her to leave, I will love her and let her go.

Anyway, for a selfish man like me, that felt like a big step in the right direction.

Here are some photos from my morning on the beach.

Alright, there you have it. Maybe I’m living on borrowed time. But I’ll embrace each day as it comes and we will see what it brings. If and when the end comes, I may be sad, but I won’t be hurt. This is my time to give, just as so many others have given to me throughout my life.

Greetings from my Sunday afternoon. Here’s how I got here.

Saturday morning I asked my gal what she wanted for breakfast and she told me a tuna sandwich. I’d made one for lunch the day before and I guess she liked it. So we dined on tuna with pickle relish and mayonnaise, served on toast cut into cute little triangles while watching some more episodes of Cobra Kai. Then we headed down to the resto-bar to catch a ride into Olongapo with her mother.

I think I’ve mentioned before that the girlfriend is opening up a second location soon. The purpose of this excursion was to search for some chairs, tables, and other assorted items to finalize setting up for a slated grand opening event sometime next week. It wasn’t a particularly successful quest in that regard, although she was able to purchase some stock for the bar at the old Royal supermarket. The excursion was about as exciting as it sounds, but hey, I got to spend some time with my sweetheart so I’m not complaining. Much.

There was also some good news. The geniuses running the country have finally seen fit to open up for fully vaccinated tourists, starting February 10. Let’s hope they stick with it. It will be a godsend for the struggling hospitality industry, especially the bars. I found it amusing yesterday that despite all the hoopla about not being able to enter indoor facilities like stores and malls without a vax card, no one anywhere asked to see mine yesterday. It is almost as if everyone has finally thrown in the towel and said enough of this bullshit. One can hope.

Once we returned to Barretto, we just hung out at the resto for the remainder of the evening. They had a new item on the menu so I gave it a try:

The problem with a hard shell taco is that one bite tends to have an earthquake-like impact on the remainder of the shell. So, I wound up eating the contents with a fork and the shell separately. It was good though.

I also drank me a few beers.

We left a little after 9 p.m., got to my place, and enjoyed strawberry-banana smoothies along with a little more Cobra Kai. Yeah, practically a suburban lifestyle I’m living these days. It’s taking some getting used to, truth be told. But the beautiful young woman on the couch next to me makes it all seem worthwhile.

Later to bed, later to rise. My routines used to start around 4:30 a.m., these days it is closer to 6:00. It’s that hole that has been throwing the rest of my day out of whack, but I’ll adjust. Eventually. Fed and walked the dogs, then cooked dinner:

Shit. I just realized I need to make some cornbread muffins to go with that. Hold on, I’ll be right back. Alright, done.

Simple Sunday breakfast as requested by my gal. Bacon, toast, some cheese, and canned peach slices. You may have noted that my busy day on Saturday didn’t include a hike, but I wasn’t going to repeat that aberration. Couldn’t interest the GF in joining me for this one, so I walked with her to the highway. She turned left, and I turned right.

Early in my jaunt, I encountered a pedestrian on the other side of the street going in the opposite direction. He had a familiar look about him, and as we passed I saw that it was Dick. I just smiled and nodded and continued on my way.

I’ve not written about Dick lately because he’s an irrelevant loser unworthy of my time. There was an incident several weeks back where he attempted to call me out or shame me or something, by loudly asking me in the presence of all the customers in my girl’s place “how many times have you been married?” I ignored him the first time, but when he repeated himself a few minutes later, I stood up and said “none of your fucking business”. He tried to stand up for a face-off I guess, but his drunk ass fell backward into the sliding glass door behind him. The other patrons kept us apart after that and I left before things got out of hand. Since that time we’ve basically just ignored each other.

He’s apparently not given up his efforts to undermine my relationship though. Less than an hour after I passed him on the road, I heard from the girlfriend. She wanted to know about a note “someone” had given to Dick. The note said that he (Dick) should tell my girlfriend to “beware” of me. And that she should ask my ex-girlfriend about what a bad man I am. Hmm. Mighty suspicious that some random stranger would pass such a note. Why not warn my GF directly? And if providing my ex financial support for over three years and helping her open her own business makes me a bad guy, then I guess I’m guilty as charged. This incident pissed me off, but my GF wants me to be the bigger man (heh, that’s shouldn’t be a problem) and let it go. Anyway, I don’t have anything to hide from my past. I’ve been far from perfect for sure, but I’ve never hurt anyone or treated them poorly.

Fuck! I got distracted and overbaked my muffins. Damn it!

I guess after that baking fiasco I shouldn’t be so quick to mock the intelligence of our “president”. I just can’t seem to help myself though.

Pictures from today’s stroll:

Feel free to Relive the hike if you are so inclined.

That’s been my weekend so far. In a little while I’ll wander on down to resto-bar I reckon and try to entice my girl away for some beer and views from the rood of the Capital Reef Hotel. Wish me luck!

Damn, I did it again. Or more accurately, I didn’t do it. Yeah, I’m still trying to adapt to the new fullness of my life and I’ve been dropping the ball on keeping up with my daily posts here at LTG. The blog is still a priority for me, I just need to get better at demonstrating that.

Spent Thursday evening hanging out at the girlfriend’s resto-bar. It seems to be one of the most popular drinking venues with expats these days.

See that woman sitting at the table? She came in with the guy next to her, turns out he’s German and doesn’t speak much English. What was interesting was that after she sat down, she said, “you’re a Hasher, right?”. I answered, “yes, how did you know?”. She told me she remembered me from the Valentine’s Hash in Baguio back in 2020. Turns out she is a member of the La Union Hash House Harriers. Small world, huh? I was mostly surprised that I had somehow made enough of an impression on her to be remembered. I had no recollection of ever interacting with her previously. Seemed weird but nice.

Friday morning is usually a group hike day, but my gal didn’t want to make the trip out to Olongapo, so we decided to do our own trek. She’d never been on Black Rock mountain before, so that’s where I took her.

Turns out my girl has a fear of heights. It really manifested itself when we made this climb. She is seated in the photo above because she wouldn’t (or couldn’t) stand up. She did enjoy the views though.

Getting back down is steep, but not slippery. At least on the rockface.

Anyway, it was a nice hike and I especially enjoyed the one-on-one time with her.

Darts last night and I managed to go undefeated.

Yesterday afternoon when I should have been blogging I instead watch a movie on Netflix. Maybe you’ve heard of it–Forrest Gump. The GF hadn’t seen it and it has been years since my last viewing, so we both rather enjoyed the experience. Looks like my television will be getting more regular use. She’s got me watching a series called Cobra Kai now. Seems to be about the Karate Kid guys all grown up.

Anyway, that’s how my life is going. I know it probably sounds more boring than usual (is that even possible?) but there you have it. I will try to find something more interesting to share. One of these days. For now, I’ll close with pictures of the boys.

I shall return.

My whacked Wednesday was more twisted than normal. After getting dumped Tuesday night, I only managed about three hours of troubled sleep. That’s one way to reclaim my early to rise mode I suppose. I needed to ease my troubled mind and an outing with the Wednesday Walkers seemed like a good way to do it. It was only 0800 when I left for the 0900 meet-up, so rather than ride a Jeepney out to the starting point I hoofed it. It was a good hike with the group and I’ll share some photos at the end of this post.

My dart league match was out on Baloy, so after a post-hike shower, I walked to the Viking Resort to compete against one of the best teams we’ll face this season. Alas, we lost the match 7-6. I played decent, winning both of my singles games, and going 1-2 is some hard-fought doubles matches. And we won the beer round (team game) which is always a goal.

So, there I was after dart league thinking now what? I’d had a few beers by then, but still not enough to completely dull the pain of my broken heart. The few people I had confided to about the breakup were not surprised and encouraged me to just let it be and move on. That seems like good advice. Because I had been trying to be a good boyfriend I hadn’t visited some of my old haunts for a while. So, I grabbed a trike and ventured out to It Doesn’t Matter.

Everything changes. The vibe felt different somehow, and not in a good way. When Roan finally came out to join me there was a distance between us I hadn’t felt before. Maybe I was just seeing the reality of meaningless bargirl “relationships” without the rose-colored glasses. Still, I bought her a couple of beers and some dinner before I moved on.

I didn’t feel like going home just yet, so I crossed the highway and popped into Cheap Charlies. I was given a hearty “welcome back, where ya been?” greeting as I plopped down on a barstool. My regular girl, Alma, was busy with some big spending customer. Soon enough, a gal I didn’t recognize sat down next to me and said “nice to see you again, John.” Nice to see you too, but have we met? Turns out her name is Laya and she’s been working a couple of months now. Pretty perceptive as well–she asked me why I looked so sad. So, we got to talking a little and I learned she is 30 years old with three kids. No surprise there, this is the Philippines. She was nice and seemed to sincerely enjoy my jokes, which of course, were all new to her. But again, it all seemed empty and pointless so I paid my tab and headed home. In bed before ten and up at 4:30. Back on schedule!

The ex came by this morning to pick up her belongings. She wasn’t friendly at all. Just gathered her things in silence while I looked on. I marveled at how one can go from love to this in a single day. It was more than she could carry in one trip, so she said she’d be back later for the rest. She was back within the hour, got the remaining items, and left again. She didn’t respond to my goodbye.

We did exchange some messages later. She chided me for not helping her carry her belongings. I felt bad about that, but the way she was acting I didn’t think she wanted me around. We also talked some more about the breakup. From her perspective, I’m the bad guy and from mine, she quit me over something that didn’t warrant such a cruel ending. In the end, we agreed to disagree on who is at fault, wished each other well, and at least said we’d remain friends.

Watching her pack up and leave me left me feeling more than a little blue, so I took another long walk this morning. No big epiphanies, just the thought that I need a woman who will stay by my side through the good and the bad. Otherwise, I’m better off alone. I fully expect that my future will be a lonely one. It’s a little disconcerting that my pretend friends in the bars no longer seem to provide the illusion of companionship and offer no comfort. Ah well, one day at a time. I’ll get through this just like all the other times I’ve been left disappointed and empty-handed at love’s front doorstep.

At least I still have the great outdoors to provide some solace in troubled times. Here are the photos from yesterday’s hike.

You can Relive the hike here if you’d like:

So, now what? Well, given the generally unsatisfactory experience in the bars last night I might change it up and head out to Baloy. Sit beachside and quaff some brews. And focus on what I have and not what I’ve lost. Again.

A more or less sedate Sunday in my neck of the woods. Er, neck of the sands? Neither one makes any sense now that I think about it. Ah, I just looked it up:

This expression originated in the United States. `Neck' comes from `naiack' which means `point' or `corner' in an Algonquian Native American language.

Now I know.

Anyway, after I finished my morning duties, the girlfriend came by with some of her things. We enjoyed some quiet time before we headed to the Car Wash where she had a few chores to complete. I had some lunch there while waiting. Once she was free again, we did a short beach walk before dropping into the Papagayo resort for some refreshments. I had a beer and she had blueberry cheesecake.

We decided to relocate to Baloy beach for a change of scenery.

Sitting at McCoy’s on the beach, a cold beer, a plate of pork chops, and watching the sun go down. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Hash Monday it is again. And today the trail is actually going right by my house.

Speaking of my house, the new neighbors are a loud bunch.

That’s the news from here for now. Yep, my new sedate life must be every bit as boring to read about as my old one. Stick around, I’m bound to do something stupid again soon.