…makes you stronger. Or so they say. To which I’d respond “bullshit”. I mean, if you survive a skydiving accident but are paralyzed, you’re fucked, but not stronger. Now, if you say it only hurts until the pain goes away, that’s a sentiment I can get behind.

Anyway, I ain’t been killed (yet) and I’m sober and feeling no pain, so I reckon things are right with the world. At least for now. Actually, I do have red and itchy eyes, but I’ve got a doctor appointment for that tomorrow. But I think good luck is a big part of good health. After all, here in the Philippines we are just a mosquito bite away from the dreaded dengue fever. Which has reached epidemic proportions recently.

The Philippines has declared a “national dengue epidemic” after at least 622 people lost their lives from the mosquito-borne disease this year.
At least 146,000 cases were recorded from January to 20 July – a 98% increase on the same period last year – the health department said.

I take the normal precautions like wearing repellent and turning on the bug zapper in my bedroom every night. Honestly, as much as I am outside I rarely get bit. And the mosquitoes buzzing around my head when I’m trying to sleep was much worse in Korea than it is here. Here’s to hoping my good luck continues!

Rumor has it that some ISIS-type suicide bombers have been tracked to the Olongapo-Subic area. But you know what, there ain’t much I can do with that type of information. I hope it’s not true and if it is, I hope they get caught before innocents get hurt, but otherwise I’m not going to change my lifestyle to avoid a potential terrorist. I’ll continue to go out and have a blast in the bars. Er, let me rephrase that…

I was a little surprised to see this report that the Philippines ranks pretty highly (well, middle of the pack anyway) in safety from crime. Higher than places like Korea and France even. Well, it’s a survey about how safe people feel, so it may be more accurate to say the perception of safety from crime. I take the normal precautions of course, but here in Barretto I do feel safe, even when I’m stumbling down walking the streets at night. On the other hand, I never had that sense of security in Manila or Angeles City. Well, shit happens. Even in places like El Paso and Dayton. I’m not going to lose sleep worrying about it, that’s for sure.

Speaking of being lucky, how about this dog that fell off a six story roof, crashed through the sunroof of a parked car, and survived with minor injuries. Amazing. And I though my dog was Lucky!

It was weird the other night though. Lucky went after Buddy and he was NOT playing around. I have no idea what set him off, it wasn’t over food or anything like that. I thought it was interesting to see Buddy back off the way he did. Maybe he was as surprised as I was. Buddy still has some size over Lucky, but not nearly as much as he used to. Will be interesting to see if Lucky takes over as the alpha male canine of the house. I do frequently remind them both however, that I am the real BIG DOG around here.

Raining off and on (of course) today, but I managed to get my steps in anyway. Baby back ribs in the slow cooker and darts on tap for tonight. And life goes on!

We were never meant to worry
The way that people do
And I don’t need to hurry
As long as I’m with you
We’ll take it nice and easy
And use my simple plan
You’ll be my lovin’ woman
I’ll be your lovin’ man
We’ll take the most from living
Have pleasure while we can

The good news is that it did not rain during the 1360th running of the Subic Hash House Harriers. Now that we’ve got that out of the way…

The Hare was the notorious Leech My Nuggets, ably assisted by his partner in crime girlfriend, Leech My Pussy. In all fairness, Leech stated that the 6K trail was almost completely flat. Given his history of mountain goat trails I’m not sure anyone believed him. The girlfriend did let slip that there was “some” water on the trail, so I guess it can’t be said that we weren’t warned.

The trail did in fact turn out to be flat. Ironically, it was in an area I had scouted for potential use the last time I wore the mantle of Hare. At that time I rejected leading the kennel out there because I deemed it “too wet”. Of course, that was BEFORE the heavy rains we’ve experienced these past two weeks. I’ve got lots of pictures this week, I’ll let them tell the story.

Honestly though, it wasn’t all that bad. I enjoyed being out on trail again after my two week hiatus.

And oh by the way, it’s raining again today.

When you’re down and out
When you’re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I’ll take your part
Oh when darkness comes
And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on, silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
Oh if you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

To keep a real world perspective. While I’m bitching and moaning about the rain, today comes news of TWO ferries capsizing during Sunday’s storm.

I’m not sure what type of ferries were involved, but I suspect they were largish banka boats.

Anyway, it’s all part of life in the Philippines I suppose. From the linked article above:

About 20 typhoons and storms batter the Philippines each year, making the archipelago that lies on the Pacific typhoon and earthquake belt one of the world’s most disaster-prone countries.

Meanwhile back in my disaster-free life, I got my shoes wet from unavoidable puddles during my rain free afternoon walk. So far today has been mostly sunny, but I’m watching the clouds form up out over the bay as I write this.

Life goes on. Until it doesn’t.

Woke up early as usual this morning. Looked out the window and was surprised to see this:

I have to admit I got pretty damned excited. Perhaps this first Sunday in August would actually feature some sun!

Alas, before I had completed the normal 30 minute dog walk, I spotted this on the horizon:

Oh well, it wasn’t exactly raining cats and dogs when I did my morning walk. But there was this:

Anyway, I’m not one to complain. Much. I did in fact get my morning steps in. It’s not hot outside. I’m confident I’ll be able to get in a nice hike this afternoon as well. So what if my shoes get wet.

Walk along the river, sweet lullaby, it just keeps on flowing,
It don’t worry ’bout where it’s going, no, no.
Don’t fly, mister blue bird, I’m just walking down the road,
Early morning sunshine tell me all I need to know

You’re my blue sky, you’re my sunny day.
Lord, you know it makes me high when you turn your love my way,
Turn your love my way, yeah.

…you ever gonna stop?

I’ve had more than enough, thank you very much!

What? Two posts in one day? It must still be raining. Why yes, yes it is!

Anyway, I came home for my beer drinking expedition last night feeling some hunger pangs. Seeing as how I was too drunk lazy to do much kitchen work, I grabbed a pie from the freezer and popped it into the microwave.

Back in the day when I lived out west (California and Arizona) Marie Callender’s was a pretty outstanding restaurant chain. I loved the pot pies they served. Now, the frozen version is much smaller and not nearly as tasty, but in a pinch it’ll do.

This morning while getting some walking done, I popped into Arizona for a quick breakfast. Even though I’m only there once a month or so at best, the waitress knew I wanted brewed coffee, black. For some reason I was reminded of the story of the guy who ordered coffee with no cream. The surly waitress responded “we don’t serve cream here. You can have your coffee with no milk!”. I told that old saw to my waitress who laughed politely. Ah well.

Anyway, I wound up ordering the biscuits with sausage gravy. As soon as they were served I was pretty sure I was going to regret my choice.

As the picture above indicates, I only ate about 2/3 of one biscuit. The gravy was fine and they even had extra on the side. Nothing I wanted to pour it on though. I would have preferred toast to those so-called biscuits. Anyway, Arizona’s food is normally very good to excellent, so I’m guessing this was an aberration. Or maybe people in these parts like their biscuits served that way.

I did notice that Arizona has a Cottage Pie on the menu. Maybe next time I’m there to eat I’ll give it a try.

After my soggy walk I came back home and wrote about that adventure. And before I knew it, it was time for lunch. Well, I had defrosted steaks a couple of days ago so I, popped some taters in the oven, put the corn-on-the-cob in a pot on the stove, defrosted some vegetables, and fired up the grill.

In non-food related news, as a dog owner I’m always looking for useful information. I put this in the “good to know” category for sure:

Again, I’m somewhat loathe to engage in meaningless political discourse these days, knowing full well that minds are unlikely to be changed. But sometimes I just can help myself, especially when I come across a meme that makes me laugh. Like this one:

Anyway, I’m a long way away and the Democratic field is doing a fine job beclowning themselves without my help. Have at it, by all means!

At some point you just have to say “fuck this” and go for a walk anyway. I’m sick and tired of sitting around waiting for the rain to stop. Of course, prudence dictates that I stay on the pavement but it’s high time to be steppin’ out regardless. So off I went.

Things started off well enough. A few light sprinkles when I left the house but not even enough to warrant opening the umbrella. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but it seems that once I get a goodly distance from the shelter of home the skies open up and dispense their fury in a cascade of frothing rainwater. That’s the way it went down this morning.

Anyway, the umbrella kept me mostly dry from the knees up. I have three pairs of shoes I hike in and now they are are all soaking wet. A couple days of sunshine would remedy that, but alas, rumor has it that yet another typhoon is approaching and this one might be Yolanda-esque.

Typhoon Haiyan, known in the Philippines as Super Typhoon Yolanda, was one of the most powerful tropical cyclones ever recorded. On making landfall, Haiyan devastated portions of Southeast Asia, particularly the Philippines.^[1] It is the deadliest Philippine typhoon on record,^[2] killing at least 6,300 people in that country alone.^[3] In terms of JTWC-estimated 1-minute sustained winds, Haiyan is tied with Meranti for being the strongest landfalling tropical cyclone on record. In January 2014, bodies were still being found.^[4]

Here’s hoping those rumors are nothing more than fear-mongering hyperbole.

And in an odd quirk of coincidence, this was me on August 2, 2016:

Life’s a dance I suppose. And Christopher Walken can dance! Enjoy.

First of all, it’s the first day of August. Not that that matters much; every day, week, and month here are all pretty much the same. And not in a bad way.

Coincidentally, today is the first day that it has rained this month. And it’s been raining like a motherfucker all damn day.

Last night I experienced a more pleasant first:

Maybe I’ve just been lucky, but this is the first time this has ever happened to me:

I don’t normally accept friend requests on Facebook from people I’ve never met in person. I sometimes make exceptions if we have some mutual friends and the requester is an attractive female. That must have been the case with Angelee. I’m not sure when we became FB friends, but I just now received my first ever contact from her on messenger. After the briefest of small talk (where are you? what are you doing?) she asks me if she can ask me something. I’m thinking to myself you just did, but I told her to go ahead.

“Can I borrow 200 pesos to get my daughter a checkup?” Wow. That’s the first time a complete stranger has asked to borrow money. Well, other than beggars. Which I guess technically that is what she is. I asked her how she knows me and she responded that she used to work at Hot Zone and saw me there with the Hash. Okay then. Now, 200 pesos ($4.) is no big deal and I have in fact given more than that to beggars. I figured if she wanted to meet up somewhere convenient I’d give it to her. And the devil on my shoulder was whispering “if she’s hot maybe she can earn some more!”. Alas, she is not even in town. Wanted me to do some kind of wire transfer from my phone. I told her I couldn’t do that (don’t have or want the app). Then she started hinting around about wanting money to travel to Olongapo. That’s when I blocked her.

Speaking of boycotts, I enjoyed some schadenfreude for the first time in a while when I read that Gillette has been losing money since they got “woke” and dissed the masculinity of their primary customer base. Duh! I’ve been boycotting from here in the Philippines which isn’t easy as most of the available shaving products seem to carry that brand name. But I did find this:

And so concludes the first post of the month here at LTG. And if I can catch a break in the rain, I’ll take my first hike as well. And as you might have expected, I’m looking forward to…

Of course, I’ll have to wait until 5:00 p.m. first…

Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you

A nothingburger kinda day around here. Woke up feeling shitty, if you know what I mean. Also had nausea which is pretty unusual for me. In fact, I started retching but I guess there was nothing left in my stomach to expel through the throat rather than the anus. But enough about me!

Hey, wait a minute. This blog is about me, what the hell else am I going to write about? Let’s get on with it.

So, the usual Saturday night routine (hell, EVERY night). Had a few cold ones at Cheap Charlies while flirting with my Muslim bargirl friend, Maya. Then decided to change things up and try somewhere different for a change. In all the years I’ve been coming to Barretto I never made it into a bar named Wild Paradise, so I gave it a try. I was immediately besieged by several thirsty bargirls who proceeded to massage my arms and back. Another gal plopped herself down next to me and commenced to massaging my crotch (outside my shorts of course). I told them I only wanted to sit with one girl but they all continued on with their rubbing behavior. After a bit, the bartender came by and asked if I wanted to purchase lady drinks for the girls. I told her I was only going to buy one and naturally I chose Josie, that gal with the deft touch sitting next to me. I gave each of the other gals a 20 peso tip (40 cents) and they thankfully left me alone.

I chatted up Josie some but she didn’t have much of interest to say. She had a cute face but her body wasn’t in great shape for a 35 year old. Talented hands though, and she did get a rise out of me. *ahem* I finished my beer and she suggested I might enjoy a blow job. I looked around to see if there was a room for that kind of thing on premises, but she indicated we need to book a short time room. Eh, too much hassle. I told her “next time” although it is doubtful there will be one. I’m not that lonely yet anyway.

I left Wild Paradise and crossed the street to check out Double D’s, a videoke joint I sometimes frequent. There were some Filipinos inside singing badly and I wasn’t feeling it. As I turned to leave, Jhen, one of the girls that work there, popped her head out for a chat. And the first thing she asked about was the lipstick on my mouth. Oops, I’d forgotten about the goodbye kiss Josie had just given me. We had a laugh about that before I made my way on up the highway.

My next stop was one of the few girly bars I occasionally patronize, Wet Spot. Oh, for those that don’t know, the distinction between what I call a “girly bar” and the others is that girly bars have dancers on stage to entice you to purchase lady drinks and perhaps take out sex. Cheap Charlies and Wild Paradise have “GRO’s” (Guest Relations Officers) who will sit and chat and make you feel special as long as you are buying them lady drinks. In Cheap Charlies, that’s all you get–no take out. As I learned last night, obviously that’s not the case at Wild Paradise.

Which reminds me of an incident that happened at Cheap Charlies earlier this week. One of Maya’s friends was complaining about a customer who had offered to buy her a lady drink provided she let him finger her. Now, as I mentioned, CC isn’t that kind of bar. And even in those kind of bars, you don’t finger a girl in the bar. And oh by the way, to get a girl for take out is usually around 2000 to 3000 pesos ($40-$60). The commission a girl makes on a lady drink is around a dollar. So, this guy (probably an ignorant tourist) was doubly insulting.

I decided to rectify the situation by buying the offended lass a drink. And when it arrived I told her in a voice that I was hoping the asshole customer would hear “now I’m going to finger you!”. The expression on her face was priceless, and then I raised up my middle finger in the universal “fuck you” salute. She and Maya burst out laughing. Fun times!

Anyway, back at Wet Spot I bought a couple of drinks for my dancer friend Anna. I’ve mentioned her before, she has five kids that I’ve “adopted” as my charity project. Anyway, her big news was that her 17 year old daughter has managed to get herself pregnant. And so the cycle of poverty continues. Obviously mom is disappointed and so was I. I had thought if she had focused on her studies instead of boys I might consider helping fund her higher education. Oh well.

Anna’s other big news was that her 19 year old step daughter had just begun working in Rapscallion, the bar next door to Wet Spot. Well, what are you going to do? It’s a semi-honest living where you can an earn a comparatively decent salary (as opposed to working as a sales clerk at the mall for example). Anna was a little conflicted about this turn of events but really, what can she say without being a hypocrite? I teased that I was going to go Rapscallion next for some take out (yeah, I’m a barrel of laughs). But I did offer to buy the step daughter a lady drink. So Anna went and got her (the bars in “the Maze” have a reciprocal agreement, the girls get a commission on drinks regardless of where it is consumed).

So here I am sitting next to a teenage girl in hot pants and trying hard to remain gentlemanly. Actually, it wasn’t hard at all (not THAT pervert, the situation!) as I am not tempted by girls that young. Late 20’s is about as low as I will go. Still, it was past my bedtime and it was a weird circumstance sitting with mom and daughter in a girly bar. So we finished our drinks and I said my goodnights and departed.

And I actually had the good sense to go straight home and I didn’t get run over on the highway. A nice happy ending!

Today, I managed to walk my dogs before the rains started and not much else. I considered doing my afternoon walk anyway, but thought better of it given the delicate state of my stomach.

And there you have a slice of my so-called life here in the Philippines.

You keep calling me
On the telephone
You say you’re all alone
Well that’s real sad

And you keep leavin’
Notes stuck on my door
Guess you’re hungry for some more
Girl that’s too bad

‘Cause I ain’t that lonely yet
No I ain’t that lonely yet
After what you put me through
Oh, I ain’t that lonely yet

Eh, one of THOSE kind of days I’m afraid. The feeling sorry for myself type. It doesn’t make it any easier knowing it’s my own damn fault either. As much as I would love to have a meaningful relationship, anyone who means anything to me would put my heart in jeopardy were I to trust her with it. So I go on playing it safe with nothing at risk and nothing to lose. And that adds up to a whole lot of nothing.

Perhaps someone will come along and change my mind. Or maybe I’ll just get used to living without love and be satisfied with the other blessings in my life. Who knows? I sure as hell don’t.

In the meantime here are some random pictures I took of my fellow travelers passing by from my vantage point at Cheap Charlies. Yeah, I’m pathetic. I get that.

Sure enough, that’s a motley looking crew. No wonder the gals here call me gwapo. Not to mention my outstanding pesonality. Ah well.

And as if I weren’t depressed enough already, I encountered this guy on my my morning walk:

I’ll leave you with a song I somehow remember from my early childhood. My dad would come home from work, open a quart sized bottle of beer, and plop a country-western album on the record player. Patsy Cline, Marty Robins, and this one from Leroy Van Dyke:

If I see you tomorrow on some street in town
Pardon me, if I don’t say hello (hello)
I belong to another, it wouldn’t look so good
To know someone I’m not supposed to know

Just walk on by, wait on the corner
I love you, but we’re strangers when we meet
Just walk on by, wait on the corner
I love you, but we’re strangers when we meet

Althouse posted an interesting story today about the way dogs are treated in India. And it got me to thinking some about the hierarchy of canines here in the Philippines.

At the top of the totem pole are those lucky animals that live in the relative comfort and safety of their owner’s home. They are fed and watered, get their shots and other needed treatments from the vet, and are generally loved and cared for. I won’t even try to ascribe an overall percentage of the dog population that lives this way. In my neighborhood which is comparatively upscale, I’d guess 80% or higher own dogs. An added benefit is that when you have shit you want to keep that others covet, a watchdog is a good theft deterrent. I’d guess the percentage is quite a bit lower in working class households.

The next tier are those dogs who have a home, get fed periodically, and exist in a universe that extends no further than the length of a three foot chain to which they are tethered.

It’s none of my business I suppose, but I honestly detest seeing an animal treated this way. I can’t say whether they are ever permitted off the chain or at least taken for a walk. But for the dog pictured above and several others I regularly see, they are ALWAYS chained in the same position as I pass by. Disgusting.

And then there are the dogs that I assume have owners but apparently have no home. They are always out on the street without leash or collars, but appear to be neighborhood pets. From my observations their diet consists of whatever scraps that may remain from a human’s meal. Many of them have mange or other skin disorders that go untreated. And of course these dogs do what dogs do, mate with each other. I frequently see them “stuck together” in the road and I just shake my head, knowing that in a few months there will be more dogs on the street. Sad.

Finally, there are the dogs who have nothing and no one. I see them all over on my walks. Literally skin and bones. Foraging in the trash for any morsel of nourishment they can find. Most of them are well on the way to being bald from skin disease. There are a couple I see almost daily and each day they look a little bit worse off. I dread knowing that one morning when I walk by I’m likely to view a corpse. Pathetic and heart breaking.

There are no rescue shelters or dog pounds here that I’m aware of. The locals don’t seem to notice or care. On a certain level I guess I can understand that. When so much of the human population is struggling to put food on the table, dogs are not going to be a priority. Unless it is as a meal.

Dogs running loose and wild is also a hassle for human folk too. They sometimes knock over my trash cans and scatter garbage around the yard. I can’t take Buddy and Lucky on walks outside the neighborhood for fear of being attacked. A few months back there was a pack of dogs on Baloy Beach that were very aggressive. Even came at me once, but I managed to scare them off. I guess they went after some tourists as well, because the hotel owners complained to the Barangay (city hall). Now, they don’t have dog catchers here (remember there are no pounds or shelters). They do send out a crew though. And they just kill the dogs and take away the carcass. They even put up signs warning folks that loose dogs will be terminated. Heh, just like they do with the drug dealers!

Alright, rant over. It is what it is and it is one of the things I do not admire about this culture. I’m the outsider and my complaints would fall on deaf ears anyway. I saved two and that’s all I can do for now. Well, I leave a bowl of food out on the front porch for Lucky’s girlfriend (she’s one of those neighborhood dogs who hangs around). And no, I won’t let Buddy fuck her no matter how much he whines about being horny (he really does that!) We don’t need anymore stray puppies running around.

I will say there was one Filipina who told me out of the blue while we were out walking: “If I ever win the lottery I am going to build a shelter for all these stray dogs”. Here’s hoping she hits the jackpot!

I’m sorry, this post title is totally inappropriate. But since it is just between us, no one who knew the victim should be offended. And at this point it remains unclear who the victim truly is.

I’m obliquely referring to the mention I gave a couple of days ago about the “suicide” of Joy, the girlfriend of long time expat “Flanno”. He claims he found her hanging in the bedroom, the family insists she was murdered. The police have since arrested him and are indeed pursuing the case as a homicide.

Well, this is big news in my small town. The internet forums and Facebook are burning up with accusations, speculations, claims and counterclaims. I remain firmly in the camp of “innocent until proven guilty”, but this being the Philippines and the suspect being a foreigner, I doubt it will work that way. Perhaps most disconcerting are some of the photographs the family has posted of the deceased. I’ve commented before that it is apparently culturally appropriate for Filipinos to take pictures of dead family members. I don’t have to like it or agree with it, it is jut the way it is done here. I did have the misfortune to view some of them on Facebook, including ones of Joy’s body at the crime scene. Yuck!

Anyway, the family is arguing that scratches on Joy’s leg are evidence that she was dragged and are not consistent with death by hanging. I don’t know about that. But this photo from a news report made me go “hmm”.

I feel bad for Joy’s three young children, including the six year old that discovered her lifeless body. May she rest in peace and may justice prevail, whatever that may prove to be.

The news of another death on the other side of the world (Maryland, USA) also hit kind of close to home. A woman died of hyperthermia while hiking near Bethesda on a two mile path called the “Billy Goat Trail”. The temperature was apparently in the high 90’s at the time.

It sounds like she was doing all the right things–drinking plenty of water, taking periodic rest breaks and the like. But still the heat was too much for her body to overcome. Well, damn. It gets hot here too. And I often get shortness of breath when climbing the surrounding mountains. I attribute that to my COPD though. Anyway, I’ve never heard of anyone in these parts dying from the heat so I’m not going to worry about it overmuch. I do try and be prudent by not walking during the hottest parts of the day. So I don’t think I’ll be updating my “top 10 ways I’m likely to die in the Philippines” just yet.

What else? Well, hat’s off to Kevin Kim for his funny photoshop to a picture I took of Monday’s flood at Johansson’s.

Yesterday morning I took a walk down Baloy Beach Road. I was surprised at just what a pigsty it has become:

And that’s all she wrote. Er, well, he wrote. For now anyway.

Yesterday’s Hash turned out to be something of a fiasco. But don’t blame the Hares! I stepped out of the shower around 2:30 and heard the tell-tale sound of thunder rumbling. And then the skies opened up. And it rained like something from another world. The lighting was directly overhead, punctuated with loud sonic booms. Damn it, I knew our trail was doomed.

I made my way to Johansson’s for the 3:30 scheduled start of the Hash and got soaked, despite carrying an umbrella. And this was the scene inside:

Everyone was standing around with a “now what do we do?” look on their faces and it seemed clear they were looking to the Hares for an answer. Thankfully, my partner in crime Pubic Head came up with a Plan B. We’d do a pub crawl! Almost everyone was satisfied with that solution and the few who weren’t decided to take off and walk on their own. Whatever works.

I did feel badly that we had several out-of-towners who traveled to Subic for the Hash. Again, the day had been completely sunny and nice right up until an hour before our scheduled start. Oh well, next time they need a Hare I’ve got a good unused trail ready to go!

True confession time: Maybe the rain was my fault after all. When we were marking trail Monday morning I came across this demonically possessed doll laying on the trail:

Oh by the way, the rain stopped completely at 4:00 p.m. but the damage was done. I guess it was a good thing the rain didn’t start at 4, or everyone would have been on top of the mountain dodging lightning bolts!

And so it goes.

The thunder rolls
And the lightnin’ strikes
Another love grows cold
On a sleepless night
As the storm blows on
Out of control
Deep in her heart
The thunder rolls

Woke up to a sunny morning. Agreed to meet up with my co-Hare, Pubic Head, to mark our trail for today’s Hash at 8:00 a.m. On my way to Johansson’s I’m walking down a sidewalk with a slight decline. It was wet and I saw the tell-tale signs of algae, so I expected it would be slippery. And sure enough, despite my efforts at being cautious, I lost my footing. Instinctively, I reached up to grab the concrete wall on my left hand side. Alas, the top actually broke off in my hand and I went down pretty hard on my ass. A couple of scrapes on my fingers was the extent of the damage though. Well, that and the loss of my e-cigarette that I’d been holding when I fell. It went sailing somewhere over the wall and wherever it landed I couldn’t see it. And so it goes.

With three hours to go clouds are starting to form. Que sera, sera.

As we hiked today, Scott told me that a pretty well known expat here discovered his girlfriend dead from an apparent suicide (hanging). Said expat is currently being held in jail pending an autopsy. From what I’m reading on Facebook, her family doesn’t believe she killed herself. Whatever happened it’s a tragedy. She leaves two young children behind.

I’ve kind of been on the offensive (heh, that’s a double entendre), posting memes I’ve found regarding racism from the left. I’m frankly sick of hearing that ALL white people are (fill in the blank) based solely on the color of their skin. Here are some of my favorites:

Well anyway, there ain’t much point in belaboring the point. But if I have any lefty readers who wish to express a contrary view, feel free to speak your mind in the comments.

Nap time now, then off to the Hash. I won’t be doing the trail again this afternoon though. This morning was enough for me. But I’ll still quaff my ration of beer of course!

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down

UPDATE: One hour before it is time to Hash and the rain is pouring down. This will be sufficient to wash away our morning efforts at laying trail. Damn it to hell.

A lot of things really are inexpensive in the Philippines, especially those involving labor or services. For example, yesterday I got a very nice one hour Swedish massage for 400 pesos ($8). I could have received an extra 30 minutes for a dollar more but I don’t like being on the table that long.

This was actually my first massage since moving here which is a bit surprising. I use to do massages in Seoul a couple times of month. Back then I was paying $70. for an hour. Anyway, I went yesterday because of the ongoing aches and pains in my neck, shoulders, and back. For what was described as a “relaxing” massage there were moments when it was a bit painful. I woke up again at o’dark thirty this morning with body aches and took some aspirin. Today so far I’m mostly pain free so maybe the massage did some good. Overall it was a pleasant experience. And having a woman’s hands touching me (no, not there; it was a legit massage) for an hour for only eight bucks seems worthy of at least a weekly visit in the future.

What else? Well, I got my morning steps in despite being doused in liquid sunshine. Once again I got sucker punched thinking the storm had finally moved on only to see it regroup at my farthest point from home. Ah well, it is forecast to be heading to Korea for a visit soon and good riddance. Of course, we have another tropical depression forming off the coast here now. It seems this rainy season will indeed be rainy. Go figure.

I don’t engage much in political stuff these days, either here or on Facebook. But every once in a while I can’t resist tossing a rhetorical grenade. Like this one:

And while we are on the topic of politics, it turns out the latest rage in racism is the Gadsden flag. Who knew? I’ve been “flying” it proudly atop the right hand column of this blog for over a decade. And there it shall remain. Don’t tread on me motherfucker!

In what I’m sure has nothing to do with politics, this study said that 70% of Americans wished they lived somewhere else. And 20% of those would like to live out of the country. Welcome to the club!

Okay, let’s cleanse our palates of all the ugliness with this, shall we?

Of course, it is always big news in the Philippines when boxing legend Manny Pacquiao takes to the ring. He’s got a big fight coming up on Sunday and establishments all over town are going to be broadcasting the blow-by-blow. I don’t really much care about the fight but I do respect and admire the Pacman. He’s also a Senator here but more importantly in my view is he leads by his actions. He spent a goodly portion of his riches building housing for the poor. Lifting people up that way is something we could all use more of in this poverty stricken land. Good on you Manny! And good luck on Sunday.

Oh my! A break in the clouds. I feel like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football, but I’ve got some more walking to do.

UPDATE: Curses, foiled again. Well, what are you going to do when you get caught in the rain?

After a wet and windy night I awoke to what appeared to be clearing skies. I took advantage of the opportunity by giving the dogs their walk, then heading out to walk myself. Here’s how that went down in pictures:

And finally, Facebook has been burning up with people posting photos using an app that shows how you’ll look in twenty years. I finally relented and gave it a try*:

*I hope it is obvious I’m joking about using that app. I almost never play those games and as it turns out, with good reason. Beware the Borg!

And for goodness sake, be careful out there!

The tide is high but I’m holding on
I’m gonna be your number one
I’m not the kind of girl who gives up just like that
Oh, no

It’s not the things you do that tease and wound me bad
But it’s the way you do the things you do to me

I’m not the kind of girl who gives up just like that
Oh, no

The tide is high but I’m holding on
I’m gonna be your number one
Number one, number one

I got some message on my phone that was mostly in Tagalog. The only part I could read was an “Orange Rain Alert” for Zambales province. Well, it’s been raining all day but it doesn’t look orange at all. Go figure.

I guess what’s happening is we are on the edge of a Phi-phoon (we are in the Philippines, so it can’t be a Thai-phoon, right?) And don’t you dare try and correct my spelling. I might go crazy like this gal did. Scary, huh?

I didn’t get to walk today because of the rain, so the trail scouting had to be postponed. Ah well, nothing to be done about it. Truthfully, I probably needed the day off. I’ve been experiencing a generalized body ache these past couple of days. Not sure what’s up with that. I did check the ‘net for dengue symptoms and I think I’m good on that account at least. Anyway, Tylenol takes the edge off so I should be fine.

Facebook reminded me how I looked three years ago:

I’ll venture out into the wetness to chuck some darts tonight. Might even practice a little first.

And that’s all I got for today…

Hoo boy, yesterday’s Hash was a pisser. I might bitch and moan about a trail that is too long, steep, or otherwise exceedingly difficult. But that’s the Hare’s prerogative. What I can’t countenance though is being unnecessarily placed in danger. And in my view that happened not once, but twice, on yesterday’s Hash. It actually made me angry at the Hare’s irresponsibility. I would never knowingly lay a trail where normal caution and diligence are not enough to prevent serious injury.

Okay, well no one got hurt yesterday, so there’s that. I exercised prudence by declining to follow the trail into danger on the two occasions mentioned above. So yeah, I took responsibility for my own safety but I was mad about having to look for an alternative route and it pretty much ruined any enjoyment I might have otherwise had. And I vowed to never go on a trail laid by that Hare (Two Bottles) again.

And that’s pretty much where the enjoyment ended. Because I was faced with this:

Another thing I don’t personally like are checkpoints. This is where at an intersection of paths, the Hare requires you to pursue all possibilities until you find the “true trail”. Now, you might get lucky and guess right the first time. Otherwise you’ll have to walk a hundred yards or so looking for trail marks. If you don’t find any you have to retreat and try the next alternative. If you are in a group you can send one person off in each direction and when (if) they find the trail mark they yell “on-on” and everyone goes that way. It just seems like a pointless waste of time to me, but some Hares and Hashers seem to think it makes for a more interesting trail.

Anyway, there were at least two checkpoints on yesterday’s trail. I guessed right the first time, but didn’t even see the second one. After going on for awhile without seeing any Hash marks I retreated to see where I’d lost the trail. And that’s when I discovered the checkpoint. Well, I’d already eliminated one of the options, so I headed on down and sure enough I was “on-on”. Still, I had a bad feeling about this path. It was eerily familiar and not in a good way. And sure enough my fears were soon confirmed. It was the trail that led through a creek bed that includes an 8 foot waterfall drop off you are expected to climb down. I bitched about that loud and long the first time I experienced it. If I had known this was that trail again before my descent I’d have aborted then and there.

Actually, it was even worse this time around. The rocks were wet and slippery. I knew with one false step and I’d likely break a leg. But here there was no easy walk around. I eventually decided to move to the other side of the waterfall, sit on my ass, and slide/crawl down. Because of tree limbs rocks and roots, that was no easy task. I made it with everything intact except maybe my dignity.

Anyway, once out of harm’s way I shortcut the remainder of the trail (actually the flat part I was going to use next week) and headed on-home to Johan’s on Baloy Beach.

And at the conclusion of the Hash circle, I asked the Johan’s mascot for a little assistance:

(Sung to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club song)

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

Shitty trail (it sucked)

Shitty trail (it really sucked)

The Hare has laid another shitty trail

I would rather drink this beer than hike your shitty trail

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

UPDATE: Haha! I used the “worst trail ever” title just last month. But that wasn’t a Hash trail. And yesterday’s was worse!