How about when it is marked so poorly no one can follow it? I honestly don’t get why a Hare can’t be bothered to leave some powder and/or chalk marks at regular intervals along the chosen path. Certainly as a minimum, there ought to be clear indications of the intended directions at every junction and turning point. Yesterday’s trail, and I’m using that term loosely, was barely marked at all, which resulted in lots of missed opportunities. Hell, even us short-cutters couldn’t find the trail as intended, so we had no idea what we were unintentionally missing. Very disappointing and unnecessary.

Still managed about 7.5K on the afternoon, which was enough to wear me out. Next week is the Easter mountain climb and I’m honestly wondering if I have the strength and stamina necessary for that hike. As of now, my intention is to give it a go, I just hope I’m feeling more energetic by then. It was announced during the Hash circle last night that one of our members, Cum On My Boat, is potentially suffering from a COVID-related illness and has self-quarantined. She was one of the people I shared a vehicle to and from Angeles City a couple of weeks ago. And now she’s the second passenger in that car to fall ill, not including me. She actually didn’t start feeling any symptoms until Friday, the day after the birthday I also attended along with 50 or so other guests. That’s gonna be one hell of a contact tracing effort! Anyway, I’m still not reading much into this and I still don’t see any reason to believe I’ve got something more serious than a flu-like bug. It’s just all a little closer to home than I prefer.

To the Hash pictures then:

Anyway, I bitch and moan like the cantankerous old fuck that I am. The trail sucked yesterday, but I was outdoors in the fresh air and I still managed to enjoy myself. Of course, lots of beers afterward in a very nice establishment made forgetting the negatives all the easier.

I had an encounter with Joy this afternoon, and I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.

Stay tuned!

I thought I was, so I looked in the freezer to find something quick and easy to prepare. Then I remembered I’d bought a TV dinner, sort of on whim (was surprised to see it in Royal), and figured now was as good a time as any to pop it into the microwave.

It didn’t taste as good as I remembered, either. Oh well, sometimes those strolls down memory lane don’t go as planned. Best to leave the past in the past, I suppose.

Speaking of strolls, had a good one at yesterday’s Hash. And when I say good, I mean, good and hard. The “sane” group I hike with sliced about 1.5K off a 6K, Leech My Nuggets, trail. But that still left us with three climbs and two steep and slippery downs. (If you are wondering about the disparity between the number of ups and downs, the hike ended in Alta Vista after the third climb). And when I bitch and moan about the DOWNHILL more than the ascent, you know it had to be wicked bad. It wasn’t just the steepness going down, although that was tough, damn it was slippery as hell too. The grass and leaves are always something to be reckoned with, but yesterday there were loose rocks and pebbles underfoot as well. Gave a whole new meaning to “rock and roll” and I was moving along, kinda like a rolling stone.

Obviously, I lived to tell about it. I had also been worried about how my recent illness would impact my durability and stamina, but once I finished the first climb, it felt like I’d gotten my second wind. Leech My Nuggets always lays a tough trail, so it feels like a special accomplishment to make it to the end. The end was at Leech’s newly constructed house, and he threw a nice On-Home party, including a tasty spread of food, for his fellow Hashers.

Here’s the story in pictures (most of which aren’t mine):

Man, I thought maybe I’d sweated out the last of this bug that’s been bugging me, but I still have almost no energy. I took a nap before sitting down to write this post, and I’ll be damned, but I feel like I need another one now. Ah well, one of the benefits of being I retired I suppose–time is my bitch. At least until I run out of time. No time soon I hope.

It was good to be back on familiar ground at yesterday’s Hash. The trail technically started at the VFW, but since we knew it was going through Alta Vista a group of us just met up at my house. It was actually a nice and pretty easy hike up and over Black Rock mountain, then on out to our On-Home at Hunter Jo’s Inn in Calapadayan.

There was a second hill we bypassed. The Hare’s had provided a rope to assist with the climb, but we said nope to that and took the long way around instead. Afterward, the Hare asked if we had done the rope climb and we admitted we hadn’t. He said he had considered marking the way went as an “easy” version of the trail, but realized anyone inclined to take the easy route would already know which way to go. He was right about that!

I don’t recall ever doing three Hashes in a row before, but I have now for sure. Today is my off day so I’m getting recharged for tomorrow’s hike with the Wednesday Walkers. Here are the photos from yesterday:

I’ll be back tomorrow with some tales about the latest weirdness in my life. In the meantime, there is this:

Toe. Although I guess technically I walked a little over two miles to see a camel toe show.

Different Hash kennels have different personalities it seems. At the Subic Hash, we are irreverent and not PC at all. La Union, on the other hand, bills itself as a family Hash. They would never countenance some of the songs we sing in Subic. In fact, they asked some of us with crude names to not use them when we participated in one of their Hashes. This Corona group is WAY out there on the spectrum when it comes to sexual innuendo, and dare I say it, exploitation. The camel toe contest was an example of that. They also did a “big dickus” thing that I thankfully didn’t stick around for. Anyway, I’m no prude and I wasn’t offended, but some of the shenanigans were tiresome and made the circle last much longer than I like.

With that said, I’ll share some pictures I took of the camel toe event. It was hard to get good shots from where I was standing and the girls seemed more inclined to show their butts than their pussies, but here’s what I got:

Everyone has their own idea about what’s hot or not, but damn, #6 tripped my triggers. I’d actually noticed her long before the contest started and wished that…well, never mind. The other thing that stood out to me was her boyfriend, a guy who looks older than me and not in good physical shape, forced her to participate. She resisted and refused until he physically pulled her out of the chair and into the circle. Not a pleasant thing to see. Having said that, once she was in the competition she put forth some effort to win. Not in the slutty way some of the gals tried, i.e. twerking and the like, she just strutted her stuff with dignity. Let that hot body do all the talking as it were. Well, she did pull those shorts up some I guess to emphasize the feature that was being judged. It looked good from my perspective!

And the majority of folks in attendance apparently agreed, as #6 won the contest.

And there you have the promised camel toe post. You know, it seems to me cameltoe should be one word, But my spellchecker says that ain’t right. Sorta like this I guess:

Back home safe and sound. Well, as sound as I’m ever gonna be anyway. Now that I’m done with the Corona Hash weekend, it is time to gear up for today’s Subic Hash. So, let me do a quick down and dirty about yesterday’s happenings in Angeles.

We all gathered at the appointed time and place, the Premiere Hotel in AC. There were three Jeepneys parked in a lot and one nearby parked on the street. There was no one around from the Corona Hash to provide any guidance. At the appointed departure time of 1:30, a Hasher from La Union went over to the Jeepney on the street and the driver was heard to have said “this Jeep is for the easy trail”. So, the Hasher came back and relayed the information that anyone doing the short trail should board the street parked Jeepney and everyone else in the other three. About eight folks boarded the easy Jeep and five other people got in with me and my driver. I told my driver to follow the street-parked Jeepney to the trail. And so we waited. And waited.

As 2:00 p.m. neared I went over to the Jeepney and spoke with the driver. His English was very hard to understand, but I thought he said “waiting for 2 more”. That pissed me off, why should we wait on folks who couldn’t arrive on time? Still, nothing I could do about it, and not knowing where the “easy” was starting, we had to follow the Jeepney driver. When 2:00 passed I went over to a couple of Hashers sitting outside the sign-up venue. I asked if they could shed any light on the situation. They said we are Angeles City hashers and the Jeep is for Angeles Hashers, not the Corona Hash. Apparently what the driver had told the La Union Hasher was “this is for AC trail”, not easy trail. Well, fuck! I went and told the unhappy folks waiting in the Jeep that we were screwed. Now what? Went back to my car and discussed the situation with my riders. We had the GPS coordinates for the Corona Hash On-Home location, for all the good that did me with my non-existent tech skills. Well, not a problem for the Dutchman, Max (Nosy Bastard). I gave him my phone and in just a couple of minutes, we had a map to where we needed to go. I gave the paper with the coordinates on it to the other stranded Hashers and suggested they see if a cab could take them there. We pulled out and thirty minutes later arrived where we should have been 40 minutes earlier.

So we took off to do the short trail, which was incorporated into the long trail as was done on Saturday. There was steep, but not real long, climb to the top of the ridge. What made it more difficult for me was that the trail was covered in a powdery volcanic dust (Mount Pinatubo was only 11km away). Breathing that shit in got my lungs into full-on coughing mode. For the first time in a long time I needed to use the emergency inhaler that I carry for situations like this. A couple of squirts did seem to help, as did reaching the top relatively quickly.

After that, it was a nice hike along the ridgeline, then back down a not too steep path leading to the road that took us to the On-Home camp. Around 4.5K for the short trail Whatever temptation I may have felt to do the long trail was canceled by our late start. Probably a good thing because even the fastest of the Subic Hashers on the long trail arrived a good bit after we finished the short one, notwithstanding our late start.

And it the all’s well that end’s well category, those unfortunate Hashers we left behind in Angeles were able to contact the Corona Hash leader by phone. He sent a Jeepney to pick them up and they arrived in time to tackle the short trail as well.

The Hash circle on the other hand was another tiresome affair; longwinded, egotistical MC’s dragging things out much longer than necessary. My fear that this would happen is why I had my driver come a day early. By 6:30 I had had enough and bailed out early, forgoing the already paid for dinner portion of the Hash. There was one highlight, a camel toe contest, that I’ll cover in a subsequent post.

Here are some photos from yesterday’s adventure:

And that was the day. I’m told the circle continued after the meal and the proceedings finally finished around 10 p.m. So glad I planned ahead. And now it is time to do it again here with the Subic Hash.

The title of this post pretty much sums up my first experience with the Corona Hash House Harriers here in Angeles City.

First to the good–I rather enjoyed the trail. I took the shorter version and found it to be just about right for me; one climb, a somewhat challenging creek side portion, and an interesting walk through a village of the Aeta native people. I *almost* regretted not taking the turn for the long trail until I learned later that it included a knee-high river crossing. Who wants wet shoes for today’s hike?

The bad part came after the actual Hash hike. The circle started late, and was overwrought and over long. Apparently, there is some bad blood between the breakaway Corona hashers and the original Angeles City Hash. So we had to listen to songs and commentary bashing the latter for a good portion of the circle. There were four other Hash groups in attendance (La Union, Subic, and two from Manila) and they all took turns doing their shtick, which rapidly became quite boring. And it just went on and on and on. I grew increasingly agitated because I was tired and hungry. When the circle FINALLY concluded, we had to walk up a steep hill to reach the Jeepneys for transport back to town. No fun after a few hours of drinking–I was pissed under two definitions of the word. Almost three, as I really had to pee during the ride back.

Anyway, we’ll see how it goes today. I had my driver arrive early so he can provide transportation back to town if I can’t endure another Hash circle reaching it’s conclusion. This is the big one-year anniversary event for the Corona Hash and will include an on-site after-circle dinner. Could make for a long day, let’s hope they keep it fun and interesting. Yes, I know I sound like a grumpy old man. I’m afraid that shoe might just fit.

Here are the photos from yesterday’s adventure:

So, there was a group dinner back in town that I skipped. Had a mediocre chicken sandwich at a sports pub near my hotel instead. As usual, I was in bed by 9:00 p.m.

Time to grab some lunch now and get ready for today’s trail. I’ll try and keep a positive attitude and have some fun. If not, I’ll bitch and moan about it here tomorrow. Fair enough?

I am happy to report that there were no casualties during yesterday’s Hash. Well, one guy didn’t finish until after 5:00 (we started at 2:30) and we got a little worried about him. He’s one of us slow oldsters, but that’s even slower than normal. He said he’d taken three falls along the way on loose leaves and the like and needed a rest along the trail as well. I was disappointed to learn he’d been out there alone the whole time too. His girlfriend, along with most of the other females, opted to not do the trail and stick to the pavement. I felt bad for the guy, but what are you going to do?

Feedback from the other Hashers was mostly positive, so there’s that. There were a couple of places we could have made the trail markings clearer, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. The Hash circle seemed to go well, notwithstanding the time I spent on the ice as one of the Hares. My chili sold out again and I got lots of compliments on that. People even noticed that I used both pinto and kidney beans. Maybe I’ll enter the chili cookoff competition this year! (kidding)

Speaking of Hashing, next weekend I’ll be in Angeles City to help the Corona Hash celebrate it’s first anniversary. Kind of a last minute decision on my part to join a pretty large contingent coming from the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers. I’m a little nervous because the Corona Hash broke away from the Angeles City Hash in part, as I understand it, because the AC Hash wasn’t adventurous enough and had easy trails. Well, I don’t know the area very well so shortcutting might not be an option, but I’m going to give it a go anyway.

I must say though that just making a hotel reservation this morning proved to be quite the adventure in and of itself. First I went to the webpage of my preferred hotel (or at least the one most guys from Subic are staying at) and booked a room for three nights. Then I got a message that a deposit for one night’s lodging had to be transferred into the hotel’s bank by Thursday. WTF? Isn’t that what credit cards are for? Anyway, I don’t know the procedure for doing a bank transfer and I don’t plan to learn.

So, I booked through Agoda, which is how I used to roll in those long-ago days when I actually could travel and needed to make hotel reservations. Max, the guy who drinks poisoned water, is going with me and he secured a room as well through Booking.com. He shared the price he got and I wanted to compare the rate with Agoda. That’s when I realized that I had booked a room for Thursday night only–I’m arriving on Friday. Geez, not sure how I screwed that up. So, I went in a canceled that reservation and made a new one for the weekend. Then just before I left the house to go shopping, I got a message from Agoda that “something had gone wrong” and my reservation was canceled. I figured I’d deal with it when I got back home.

After finishing my grocery shopping, I checked with Agoda and still had no confirmation. To hell with that, let’s see how Booking.com does. Easy as pie! Had the booking, confirmation, and an app for my phone so I didn’t have to print the confirmation. While I was playing with my new phone app, I noticed something that seemed a little off somehow. So, I looked at the calendar. I’d been making reservations all morning for NEXT weekend, not THIS weekend when I’m actually traveling. Jesus. So, I canceled the Booking.com reservation and made the correct one this time. And it was actually about twenty dollars cheaper. Maybe I’ll use that money to get my head examined. Or change my name to Biden.

Groceries came in at $300. again, still too much, but better than $400 I was spending.

Now I’m going to take a walk to Baloy beach. Nothing too unusual about that except this time I’m going to be looking to see what’s available for rent. I think I’d rather stay in my overpriced house here than go through the hassle of moving, but I’ve made up my mind that I’m not going to suffer any rent increase whatsoever when the lease expires in June. So, if the landlady is to be believed, there’s a move in my future.

I’ve got some updated begging stories, but I’ll save those for another day.

Peace out!

Just back from a three hour jaunt in the mountains around Barretto to help mark today’s Hash trail with my fellow Hares, Pubic Head and Blow My Pipe. The regular trail is just a little over 6K with two decent climbs. By decent, I mean not insane. We also added a 1.5K loop with another climb for those who prefer a longer trail.

I’ll need to shower up then head out to the VFW for the 2:30 send-off. Then I’ll make my way back to the Alta Vista Community Center for our On-Home activities. Makes for a long day, won’t even have time for my nap!

A couple of photos from the trail:

In other news, I posted this on Facebook last night:

Carol responded: “I don’t think you have s good grasp on the concept of “Karen”.” Um, I can’t think of a better example of how Karens act. To better make my point I responded with an example I had personally experienced.

Oh, probably better than you. I posted a picture showing my dinner at a “speakeasy” that stayed open during lockdown for select customers like me. One of my facebook “friends” saw the photo and outed the restaurant by name. What a fuckin’ Karen! My being there had no impact on him while he hid like the pussy he is in his basement. I was born a free man and I choose to die as one should that become necessary.

Of course, when a lefty has no response, they just double down. Carol said: “yeah that’s not a Karen. You however are a scofflaw.” Okay, it was getting late and I had been drinking. So, I went “there” with a hypothetical: “Suedbeck [Carol’s maiden name}, that’s German right? Wonder if your ancestors had Jewish neighbors. I’m sure they wouldn’t be scofflaws and not report them. Geez, you’ve gone completely off the deep end.” Carol responded with laughing emojis and said she must have struck a nerve. Maybe I should have just let it go, but I didn’t.

That you could defend these idiotic policies makes me sad for you, that’s true. I will proudly wear the mantle of “scofflaw” whenever the government tries to impose strictures that imperil my freedom. It is what patriots do. So, run along now and keep doing what you are told by those who claim to know better than you.

Now, Carol and I have been fighting over politics since I abandoned liberal dogma shortly after 9/11/2001. It wasn’t the reason our marriage failed, but it didn’t help matters much either. What she said next was the typical crap I should expect, but it still surprises me that anyone could be so defiantly ignorant:

yeah Timothy McVey thought he was a patriot. And Benedict Arnold. And the idiots that stormed the Capitol. Being dumb, reckless and inconsiderate does not make you a patriot. It just makes you dumb, reckless and inconsiderate.

See what I mean? Oh well, it’s pointless to argue with someone who sees the world through those lenses. I closed out my argument with this:

keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better about your surrender. That you would compare having a meal and a beer during lockdown with blowing up a building tells me there is no point in further discussion of this topic. Be a sheep if that is your lot in life. #donttreadonme #livefreeordie

And of course, Carol had to get in the last word: “baaa”. Well, at least she has embraced what she has become. Sadly, she is not alone.

Anyway, sorry for the detour into politics. I don’t engage often these days and the above exchange demonstrates the pointlessness of trying. Scary times.

Back tomorrow with more LTG goodness. Or whatever it is you call this crap.

Another Monday, another Hash run. That makes 69 in a row if you are keeping score. I’m not, but Pubic Head posts the stats every week and that number jumped out at me for some reason. Go figure. Anyway, nothing else to do each week until I can start traveling once again.

So, I left the house at 1:30 to head over to the VFW, the alleged starting point of the trail. I noticed the Hares, Vienna Sausage (Guenter), and Fuck a Duck, were marking trail here in Alta Vista. I knew that had to be the end portion so I was hopeful that I’d find the beginning of the trail marked at VFW. Nope. Just more bullshit from the Hare. Anyway, I signed up and paid my fees, then waited for other members of the “safe and sane” group to arrive. I noticed two of the Angeles City Hashers departing early (prior to 2:00 and well before the “official” 2:30 starting time), so they clearly knew where the trail began. I asked Anal Receptive, one of the runners and part of the Hare’s “in-crowd” if he knew where the trail started. He did too. Now recall that when I specifically asked the Hare where to start he declined to answer, instead telling me to wait until 2:30 with everyone else. So yeah, I was taking this crap personally.

My group arrived and we took off. I already had an alternative trail in mind, but I wanted to check out the area Anal Intruder indicated was the starting point. And sure enough, it was. Seeing as how we were there, we took it. Almost straight up–over 60% grade according to Google Earth. We did the climb at a diagonal angle for the most part, but it was a slippery and treacherous mess. We got to the top without incident or injury though. I’d been on this mountain numerous times, but never knew the up we had just taken existed. Why would I? I know of at least two other ways to the summit that are not insane.

Our group consists of older gents like me, some womenfolk, and others who prefer to enjoy a hike without dealing with Hares who want to outdo each other in making things as difficult as possible. Now don’t get me wrong, I know there are Hashers who want the kind of challenge that Guenter provides, and that’s fine. I’d say that our group outnumbers those folks though and that’s why we band together and shortcut as we deem appropriate. Yesterday was no exception.

So, it was a little ironic that after our climb we found ourselves on the trail I was planning to use as the alternative had we not been able to locate Guenter’s path. All’s well that end’s well I suppose and we were On-On! Here are some photos from the hike (I forgot to turn on my tracker so alas, there will be no Relive video):

As we passed through Alta Vista on our way to the On-Home at Queen Victoria, the group popped over to my place for a cold beer and to kill a few minutes. The Hash tradition is no drinking Hash beer before the first runner returns. We needed to give the suckers who did the long trail a chance to catch up!

After the Hash circle rituals were completed, a few of us headed over to Palm Tree for some grub.

And after beers and food, the Filipinas with us wanted to go to a videoke place to sing. The one next door was closed, so we hoofed it up the highway to McCoy’s where we enjoyed buckets of beer and I treated the audience to my croonings.

As hard as it is to believe, I stayed out until well after 9:00. That’s a very rare event for this oldtimer.

Anyway, it all turned out for the best. I did a trail that was mostly enjoyable and I did it my way and at a time of my choosing. Better luck next time Guenter!

Made it through another Hash alive. But before I get to that, here’s a quick update on the “mama” situation. The landlady gave me back half my money and says if and when she rents the place again she’ll give me the other half. That’s more than I expected. I saw mama last night camped out near the local 7/11 store and I provided her the standard 100 pesos to buy food. We did our usual greetings and acted as if the room thing never happened. So, it appears that all is well and right with the relationship.

To the Hash then. We had nine folks in our “lame, lazy, and sane” group. We met up and headed out for the trail an hour before the official start time. In fact, we walked from our meetup to the trailhead, thereby adding about 1.5 kilometers to the original trail. We fixed that by shortcutting one of the loops of similar length–the one going down the mountain then back up again. It’s always a hard climb when you do the big mountain, but our version of the trail was just about right–one big up and one smaller one. With our earlier start and our shortcut, we arrived On-Home just about the same time as the first runner returned. The beer flowed, I ordered take-out from Sit-n-Bull, and all was good.

Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure:

Anyway, it was a good trail, hard but not insane. Feel free to Relive it:

An interesting side note, by my count there were at least three other groups from the Subic Hash yesterday doing their own thing on the mountain. People seem to be voting with their feet. Maybe it’s always been that way. The feedback I’m getting from long-time members is to just keep on doing what we are doing without making it an “official” alternative. That’s fine with me. Vienna Sausage (Guenter) is the Hare again next week so I will once again be free to roam as I please.

Keep on Truckin’ everyone!

Or so it would appear. Or maybe it’s natural for a German to want to eclipse an Austrian. Even if it wasn’t just an old fashioned pissing contest, the outcome was pretty much a fiasco. Clusterfucks like what occurred yesterday left me shaking my head in wonder and fearing for the future.

Do I have your attention now? Alright, good. Perhaps my introductory paragraph contains some amount of hyperbole, but I seriously do have doubts and concerns about the direction my beloved Hash seems to have taken. Here’s why:

Almoranas was the Hare. In my experience, he does a poor job marking a trail, but the trail itself, while usually challenging, is not over the top. That wasn’t the case yesterday. It seems he wanted to outdo Guenter’s monster trail from last week. So, he laid an 11K + path that included two outrageous climbs. And unlike Guenter, he didn’t provide an alternative trail or warn anyone what they were in for. That, in my opinion, is pure bullshit. Moreover, I think it is dangerous and irresponsible. The Subic Hash kennel primarily consists of old retired fuckers, women, inexperienced hikers, and an assortment of visitors from out of town. Now, we do have a handful of really strong individuals who can handle hikes like this without difficulty; but they are definitely in the minority. To not give a heads up to the folks who would struggle with an arduous hike, nor offer any other option is just plain wrong. That’s how I see it anyway.

The feedback on the trail during the circle was universally negative. The ones who like a hard trail were unhappy that it was so poorly marked. Others thought it was too long and too difficult to complete in the allotted timeframe (Guenter had started his long trail two hours early). Of course, we didn’t get to hear from the six Hashers that weren’t back yet when the circle started. The final three got back after dark. That’s just scary to think about them making their way down a mountain in the dark.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I believe the primary responsibility of the Hare is to lay a trail with the safety of your fellow Hashers in mind. Poorly marked trails get people lost. Long and hard trails that can’t be finished by sundown are inexcusable.

I’m not sure what the answer is here. I’m not really in favor of hamstringing the Hares overmuch, they are volunteers after all. Perhaps it is time to make what I do (and had the foresight to do yesterday) “official”–we provide at least one trail each week that everyone can do. There were seven in my group yesterday. We did about 6.5K and at our slow pace, it took nearly two and half hours to complete. Even at that, we got back “On-Home” before the first of the runners on the long trail did. I don’t think the Hares like it when people like me undermine their efforts by making our own trail. All I can say to that is, “fuck you, I’ll do whatever I think is best for me”.

Sorry for the rant. Here are pictures from the alternative trail:

Anyway, I’ve got a group I can walk with regardless of whoever the Hare might be. Anyone of like mind is welcome to join us. Next week, Leech My Nuggets is the Hare. He always lays a well-marked trail and tells you upfront what you can expect. Once when he was the Hare I got in the truck to head out to the start of his trail. He said, “John, I don’t think you want to do my long trail today.” That’s the way to Hare! Leech told us his trail next week is 7.5K. I’m sure there will be ample opportunity to shortcut should the need arise.

On-On!

Survived yet another Hash run yesterday. This one was a bit over 6K and took me right at two hours to complete. Guenter (Vienna Sausage) was the Hare, so of course, the trail featured a hellacious climb. On the other hand compared to his “hard” trail (yes, he did two) I got off easy. The other trail was insane, even by Guenter standards. I honestly have great admiration for those who even attempted that 4 hours long, 400-meter climb.

The trail I did had a ring of familiarity. One portion (the up) I had done on my first-ever Hash back on January 1, 2018. And once we came down off the mountain, we did a section of the oft-traveled My Bitch on the way to our On-Home at the Alta Vista community center. And yes, we did shortcut around a second climb and also avoided a dreaded creekbed walk. I call that keeping it sane.

The pictures tell the story better than I can:

Feel free to Relive the adventure:

So the title of this post brought back to mind the movie starring Peter Sellers. I can’t even remember the last time I thought of that film, but when it came out in 1979 I was a mailman in Prescott, Arizona. I recall some of my fellow carriers raving about how hilarious and yet insightful the story was. I enjoyed it myself but will have to go back as see it again to remember what all the fuss was about.

Here’s the trailer:

Alright, time to meet up with Kate. I’ll let you know what that was all about tomorrow.

We pulled it off successfully. No one got irrevocably lost or injured and most folks seemed to enjoy the trail. The only complaints I heard were that it was “too easy” or “too short”. A couple of Hashers missed one of the early turns but they were able to reconnect with the true trail further on. I think the confusion for them wasn’t in a lack of trail markings but rather anticipating where the trail was going to go and being wrong. When we explained where they had messed up it was “but we’ve never been that way before!”. Precisely.

Anyway, we did our duty and I’ve got the photos to prove it:

I believe in a well-marked trail and my philosophy is better to have too many marks than not enough. We were somewhat limited in the amount of powder we could carry but made up for that with lots of chalk marks on trees and posts.

We started marking the trail at 10:00 and finished around 12:30. I had time go home, shower up, and get back to the On-Home at 2:00. I gave the Hashers their marching orders and sent them On-On at the appointed 2:30 start time. Went across the street to Sit-n-Bull for a light late lunch and a couple of beers. I saw the first of the runners, Leech My Nuggets, complete the trail in 50 minutes. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. I think everyone was back no later than 4:00.

Once the beer ran out, I meandered up the street to the Palm Tree resort, sat on the upstairs deck, and enjoyed me a fine sunset. Nice way to end the day!

Shitty Trail (A Song For The Hares)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail (It sucked)
Shitty trail (really fucked)
The Hares have laid another shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer than hash your shitty trail,
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Drink it Down down, down down
down down Down down,
down down down down…

That’s all for now.

I knew I would be busy this morning preparing the trail for today’s Hash so I thought I would post something last night. Apparently, Windows took issue with that plan:

Yes, I’m just kidding around. I do my drunk posting on Facebook, not here. Anyway, I am fixing to head out to spread some powder on the ground and put chalk arrows on the trees. I’ll share the results of that effort here tomorrow.

Otherwise, nothing much to report. A quiet night for me. A couple of beers at Cheap Charlies, a couple more at a new place called McCoy’s, then headed home to grill up some dinner.

I did have a nice memory from six years ago via Facebook:

Alright, the Hash trail awaits my arrival.

Well, I guess that remains to be seen but there was at least a happy ending to the drama I posted about yesterday. The landlord apologized to the downstairs widow and rehired her. I’m glad she came to her senses and I expect the widow will have learned a lesson about respecting private property and controlling her adult offspring.

Speaking of the children, here’s an unexpected epilog to the story. During the drinking session with the daughter and her boyfriend the other night she mentioned she was hoping to find a job. I must have been drunk because I don’t really remember telling her that the owner of Hunter’s Jo Inn was looking to hire staff. Well, what I said was that Hunter Jo’s was going to be the On-Home for Monday’s Hash and if she wanted to join us I would introduce her to the owner. My group of Hashers met me at the house and as was were preparing to head out, guess who said she was coming along? I was actually surprised because as I said, I forgot I invited her.

She did the trail without complaint, got deflowered successfully during the Hash virgin ritual, interviewed with the owner’s wife, and was given a job offer on the spot. She accepted and starts today.

As for the Hash, it went well too. As I mentioned, my group of like-minded individuals (we leave when we want, walk slow, and shortcut at will) left my place at 2:00, and then we met up with Scott on the My Bitch trail at a location we call “the old man’s house”. That was where we picked up the official Hash trail as laid by the Hare, Leech My Nuggets.

Leech always does a good job, especially with marking the trail. That was a good thing yesterday because 30 minutes prior to starting we had a heavy rain shower. That caused a lot of the powder and chalk to fade, but there was also shredded paper and strings to follow. An interesting trail as well, parts of which I had never done before. I especially enjoyed that. And as is my wont, I bypassed the last hill climb and opted to walk the rest of the way to our On-Home via the highway.

And so concluded a good day on trail. I’m pretty sure next week’s trail will be the best one ever. These three guys are going to Hare:

But wait, before I go I have this:

And just a dash of political humor:

Here is the report concerning my participation in the one thousand four hundred twenty-eighth running of the Subic Bay Hash.

As the title of this post suggests, it was a good trail overall. It began with a climb from hell though. I’d done that up once before so I knew what I was in for and I wasn’t disappointed. Chants of “never again” with each step up did seem to give me a helping push. I guess it’s kinda like that story “The Little Engine That Won’t”. Yeah, I’m being a little overly dramatic. It was harder and steeper than I like but I did make it to the top so there’s that.

Once the initial climb was completed it was pretty much smooth sailing. The trail was well-marked and familiar (we’d done some of it a couple of months ago on one of our group hikes). There was a second uphill portion but that was a breeze compared to the first one. It was a relatively short trail at just over 6K, although I had an additional 2K walk from my house to the starting point.

This was the first Hash with the newly established starting time of 2:30. A few of us said fuck that and started at 1:30. I’m a slow old fart and I don’t like starting later and always being among the last to finish. It took us around two and a half hours to complete the short trail, so we got back On-Home a little before 4:00 p.m. The runners and others started arriving shortly thereafter. So, the early start worked out well for us. I don’t want to be stuck up on the mountain with dusk falling and I hate when the beer supply is exhausted before I can drink my money’s worth. So I expect early departures are going to be the norm for me.

Alright, let’s let the pictures do the rest of the talking, shall we? I’ll start with the Relive video to give some context. This one is from Pubic Head’s (Scott) app because I thought his turned out better than mine. Most of the photos are his as well.

And a good time was had in true Hash fashion.

Yesterday’s Hash didn’t quite go the way I planned. For one thing, I spilled a little blood on trail. I get scratches pretty frequently and once I got stitches after a run-in with barbed wire. But this time I managed to get a rather painful scrape on my elbow. Nothing like keeping things fresh and new, right?

Another thing that happened was that despite my best intentions, I did not complete the 9-kilometer trail as planned. The way it was set up was that the Hashmobile would drop you at the start of the 6K trail, or you could walk the 3K to that point for a longer hike. Well, I hate riding in the truck enough that it made the additional distance palatable. So, off we went.

My group included the usual suspects–oldsters, Hash virgins, and folks who just prefer a pleasant hiking experience. And on flat ground, I can do a 9K without much problem. I was aware that there were two climbs between the start and the On-Home but I figured I could always bypass them if I wasn’t feeling like doing a hill when I got there.

Right after we had begun the trail the Hare, I’m A Fucking Cupcake, caught up to us to ask if we realized we were doing the long trail. We assured him that this was our intention. He appeared genuinely surprised, then shrugged and wished us well. We continued on and then maybe ten minutes into the hike along the riverside we hit a wall. Literally.

After that incident though, the trail was actually quite enjoyable. I was familiar with the area, in fact, I had been in the vicinity for my Sunday stroll, but had never walked these particular paths before. I really enjoy the seeing something new aspect of Hashing.

At around 4K there was a water stop. The Hare and the truck were there and cold water was provided. That was a nice touch. We were given the opportunity to ride back to the On-Home from there, but everyone (including the virgins who appeared tired) opted to continue on. And that’s just what we did. Until we didn’t.

We were on the trail another kilometer or so from the water stop when once again the Hare appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He seemed a little concerned for our well-being and suggested we make a turn further on up the trail and then meet the truck on the highway. I figured we could see how we felt once we reached that point and then decide what to do. Maybe the virgins would be ready to ride by then at least.

Apparently, there was some misunderstanding because we made the turn, hit the pavement, but there was no truck in sight. So nothing to do but continue on up the road. And then a couple of kilometers later we spotted the truck parked up ahead.

I walked on up the trail where the Hare had gone for a way but saw no sign of him. My Fitbit advised me that I had reached my daily step count goal of 20,000 so I shrugged and headed back for the truck. Which while in the process of turning around had stalled and wouldn’t restart. Luckily we were able to push it to the downhill part of the road where the driver, Cunt Hunter, was able to do a clutch start. So we all loaded up in the back and went to pick up the Hare who had ended his search for us further up the highway.

And then we drove back to the On-Home which was the long and uncomfortable ride I had hoped to avoid to begin with. Ah well, the best-laid plans and all that. Anyway, Pubic Head and I plan to take the Wednesday walking group to the portion of the trail we missed yesterday and give it a try.

Here are some more photos from the day:

On-On!

Yesterday’s Candy Run Hash was for all appearances quite a success. Especially if you measure success by the smiles on the faces of the children we encountered. I’ll let the photos do the talking:

Merry Christmas from the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers!