I was first in darts last night. First out of the tourney I mean. That’s what happens when you throw like shit. The upside of going 0-2 is that it frees up the rest of your evening. So, I paid up my tab, left Alley Cats, and walked up the street to Alaska Club to do a bar review.

I didn’t spend much time in Alaska (see the review to find out why) and decided to mosey over to It Doesn’t Matter. It has been over a week since my last visit. Having a girlfriend certainly does cramp my barhopping style. Roan welcomed me back with a “your face has gotten fat” greeting. Thanks for that. You should see my belly. Anyway, I’m working on losing the excess weight, but I fear that it’s going to require cutting way back on my beloved beer to achieve that goal. I’m not sure I’m ready to make such a sacrifice just yet.

I only had one beer at It Doesn’t Matter because I realized there was somewhere else I wanted to be. Yep, it was time for me to pull up a stool at Pamela’s place, so I hoofed it on over there. I had a couple of more beers and enjoyed some wings with her. Then when it was time for me to go, she surprised me by joining me for the trike ride to my place (her previous visits were after I was already home). That was nice. We did what consenting adults are prone to do, then fell asleep in each other’s arms. That was even nicer.

I woke up at 0330. That’s not unusual–I wake up several times throughout the night for a drink of water and a piss. But while laying there I looked up at the ceiling fan. The thought occurred to me that as frequently as it is running (I don’t use the aircon) it will inevitably wear out. When that happens I’ll have to contact the landlord. The landlord? Oh shit! I had forgotten to transfer the rent money to his bank account on the first. I hopped out of bed and corrected that oversight immediately. Then sent an apologetic email to the landlord explaining what happened. Yet another example of my slow slide into dementia. Karma for Biden jokes, perhaps?

I guess my sudden departure roused Pamela from her slumber. She joined me in the living area and we had a bit of a talk. I guess the outcome was positive because we wound up doing some exercise together. We did the dog walk and then headed down the hill and had breakfast at Harley’s.

After we finished eating, Pamela needed to go home. I needed to make another visit to the ATM in Subic, so we shared a trike. I got out and said my goodbyes at the BPI branch and Pamela continued on to Waltermart. After getting my cash I did the 7K walk back home.

Sometimes I don’t know if I’m coming or going.

Anyway, I’m trying not to get too far ahead of myself with all these changes going on in my life. There is still a lot to digest, not the least of which is the ramifications of a thirty-eight-year age gap. Even though I’ve been assured many times since moving here that “age is just a number”. We’re about to find out how valid that idea truly is. Not going to overthink it at this stage though.

And now for the photos from the Friday group hike:

And there you have the story of another day in the life. Close enough to perfect for me.

Ah, Alaska Club. My first Philippines girly bar experience. That was back in its Angeles City iteration, and I was in there often enough to become acquainted with the owner, Jerry. He is a retired airline pilot who hails from, you guessed it, Alaska. I wrote about some of my AC adventures with the Alaska girls here.

There was a six-year gap in my visits to the Philippines while I pursued my ill-fated married life with Jee Yeun. And when I finally returned I was surprised to discover that Jerry had relocated his bar from Angeles City to Barretto. And with my move here, the good times in Alaska Club resumed. Until they didn’t.

Even though I’m not really into girly bars, Alaska remained on my regular circuit in large part because it was always well run with the emphasis being to ensure customers had a good time. Jerry was a hands-on owner and he stayed on top of everything from making sure his dancers actually danced and that the music he played as the DJ was suited to the tastes of the patrons rather than the girls. Think classic rock and roll versus disco. The pandemic killed all that. Dancing is not allowed in the bars now and Jerry has been stuck in the USA for well over a year. Last night the music was some rap crap that Jerry would have never permitted.

Alaska Club remains open, but it is open in name only.

My waitress told me there had been a total of two customers the night before but on many nights there are no customers at all. I know that has been the case during all of my most recent visits. Remembering how it was compared to how it is now is pretty depressing.

With dancing still being prohibited, the other girly bars I’ve visited have their former dancers sitting on stage so customers can view the options for companionship smorgasbord-style. Last night I counted a total of seven gals in Alaska, only a couple of which I’d be interested in spending any time with over shared drinks. I did buy my waitress a drink because I’ve known her since I’ve been here. My beer was 90 pesos, her drink was 150.

I’m not a pool player, but the pool table in Alaska was always a big attraction for those who are. Jerry hosted several pool tournaments each week and that brought in a regular crowd.

So, there you have it. By all rights, Alaska should have been closed down by now, at least until tourists are allowed back in the country. Jerry is the reason that has not happened. In an act of charity, he has continued to provide a salary to a core group of employees and has also continued to provide housing in the “stay-in” rooms he owns behind the bar. I’m sure he loses money every day the bar is open, but I think Alaska Club was as much a hobby for him as it was a business. He can apparently afford to remain open until he can return and set about righting the ship. I hope that day comes soon.

Alaska was and remains a sentimental favorite of mine. I really ought to make it a point to visit more frequently, just to help Jerry keep it going. My rating will reflect the current circumstances, but will also take into account how the bar was in the past and how I expect it will be in the future.

This is the 20th bar I’ve reviewed and there are still several more to come. The rankings thus far:

1. It Doesn’t Matter
2. Mango’s Beach Bar
3. Alley Cats
4. Adam’s
5. Blue Butterfly
6. Out Back Billabong
7. Dynamite Dick’s
8. Palm Tree
9. Hideaway
10. Alaska Club
11. Bottoms Up
12. Rosies
13. Rock Lobster
14. Queen Victoria
15. Voodoo
16. Annex
17. MacArthur’s
18. Redz Pub
19. Whiskey Girl
20. Finger Monkey

…but better than nothing. Barely.

The plan originally was that Pearl and I would spend most of the day together. Then she got a call that her cousin, who is also employed at her food stand, was injured in a motorcycle accident. The car wash next door was having a big anniversary party and her business was supplying the food for that event. So, she needed to go to work and make sure everything was in order. No problem. I walked her there and she asked me to come back later in the day to join her. I agreed.

After the goodbyes, I walked across town to the only BPI ATM. As I feared, it had no cash left to dispense. So, in the afternoon I took a Jeepney into Subic town. There is an actual BPI branch there with two ATMs. Got my wallet refilled and headed back to Barretto. About 40 minutes round trip. ATM fee is 250 pesos and my transportation was another 30. It looks like regular trips to Subic for cash will be my new normal.

It was about 3:30 when I got back to the food stand. Pearl had gone home for a shower, but I sat outside with a guy I know and we shot the shit. Some blowhard from the UK was flapping his gums and talking some kind of crap about Yanks, but I’ve learned just to ignore assholes like that. Luckily, I could barely hear him. Unluckily, the reason why was that I was seated near a speaker blasting loud music for the party next door. Ah well.

Pearl eventually arrived and joined me on the patio. The guy I’d been chatting with bought me a beer.

Red Horse is a very popular beer with the locals. It comes in a large 500 ML bottle. It also contains 7% alcohol volume. My usual beers are 3% (Zero) or 5% (SML). I was surprised that the taste wasn’t bad at all. My friend suggested that I could get the same bang out of three Red Horse as I do from six of my regular beers. Hence, it would be a more effective way to reduce calories. I’m going to have to do the math on that, but I’m skeptical.

The party continued on and the music got worse. They brought in four very unattractive baklas to perform. Actually, they just sang karaoke style. Loudly and poorly. I hung out with Pearl as long as I could stand it, but I finally had to bail. She needed to stay at work, so I went home alone.

And now it is Hash Monday once again. What a life, eh?

Bottoms Up is an old-school girly bar. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it is just not my thing. Yesterday was only the second time I’d been in this bar–the first was my New Year’s Eve bar crawl. The fact that I never went back until now gives you an idea of my underwhelming first impression. But things change I suppose, or maybe I have. I actually enjoyed this visit.

I arrived very early (even for me) at around 3:30. I was the only customer in the place, which is not surprising for that early hour. I was immediately welcomed by a waitress who asked if I remembered her from the days when she worked at Treasure Island. I didn’t. I guess seeing my naked butt on the ice at a Hash event made a big impression on her. Of course, I bought her a lady drink which was surprisingly reasonably priced at 120 pesos.

The ambiance of the bar was also a bit nicer than I had remembered.

I asked my waitress what purpose the room served and she said it was for large groups of customers. I asked about getting blowjobs or boom-boom, and she laughed and said “no, only outside”. She did confirm that girls are free to negotiate “takeout” with the customer though. I’d wager if you were spending enough in the bar you might see some hanky panky in that room, but that’s just supposition.

One other thing that makes Bottoms Up somewhat unique is that they employ a couple of baklas (transgender or ladyboy). I only saw one during my visit, and no, I didn’t find her attractive at all. I am personally not bothered by having baklas in the bar, as long as they leave me alone. I don’t want to be pestered by the “real” girls either. There are some folks in my little town who will not patronize any bar when baklas are present, so it’s a pretty gutsy management decision to hire them. As my waitress said, transgender folk need to make a living too.

What I liked about the place was it was cozy and friendly. My happy hour beer price was only 60 pesos (regular price is a reasonable 80 pesos). Best of all, they have a “buy 2, get 1 free” promotion going on. I’ve never seen a deal like that anywhere else. Of course, I wasn’t going to leave without finishing my free beer, and my longer-than-normal stay resulted in my buying a total of three lady drinks for Shantelle. I guess that’s a win-win. Or maybe just an expensive free beer. One of those.

Bottom line on Bottoms Up–I enjoyed my visit. That’s what it is all about in the bar biz.

To the ratings then. As I’ve mentioned before, I will reevaluate the rankings based on additional experiences I may have after my bar review visit. Finger Monkeys is a bar I am now boycotting because I learned the owner there is exploiting her workers. My two favorites have left the bar because of the unfair treatment they received. I won’t be back.

1. It Doesn’t Matter
2. Mango’s Beach Bar
3. Alley Cats
4. Adam’s
5. Blue Butterfly
6. Out Back Billabong
7. Dynamite Dick’s
8. Palm Tree
9. Hideaway
10. Bottoms Up
11. Rosies
12. Rock Lobster
13. Queen Victoria
14. Voodoo
15. Annex
16. MacArthur’s
17. Redz Pub
18. Whiskey Girl
19. Finger Monkey

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans. I don’t know that I feel particularly lucky, but I am thankful for the life I have and the blessings that surround me. It is easy to take living a comfortable existence for granted, but I am surrounded by reminders that many others are not so fortunate. So, on this day I will embrace the good life I am living and pause to appreciate all that I have.

I’ll be attending a Thanksgiving gathering at a nearby neighbor’s house later this afternoon. As is my tradition, I’ll be bringing a batch of my Aunt Pat’s Recipe World Famous Fruit Salad along with me. The Philippines version is always a bit of a challenge ingredients-wise. No pecans again this year, so I used walnuts. The coconut (buko as it is called here) is fresh out of the shell and not as tender and sweet as the stuff I used to buy in the bag. The sour cream here has a liquid consistency that doesn’t really hold the other ingredients together in the way I prefer. Oh, and I f’d up and bought a can of mandarin orange fruit cocktail instead of the actual oranges my recipe calls for. Yeah, you can call me Mr. President if you want. Well, keeping with the theme of being thankful on this day, my fruit salad is better than nothing. So there is that.

I’m bringing a batch of brownies too.

The only BPI ATM in town was out of cash yesterday. Had enough on hand to get me through the night, so I was thankful for that. I wound up taking a Jeepney into Subic town this morning to make a withdrawal from the BPI bank branch there. Filled my wallet with 20,000 pesos. The gals are going to really love that bulge in my pants tonight!

I also picked up my new passport with the entry stamp transferred from the old passport. I’m good to go now until December 1, 2022. I will have to exit the Philippines at some point prior to that date. Hopefully, the stupidity will be over by then and I’ll be able to come back home. Still, I’m thankful I was able to get all this done without having to make TWO trips to the Manila immigration office. Thank you for your service Ella’s Travel.

Yesterday’s dart league action was against the team from Blue Butterfly. I could tell from watching them warm-up they wouldn’t be much of a challenge. Well, there was one Filipino guy who appeared to throw pretty decent darts. But it turns out Filipino males are not allowed to play in our league–it’s for expats and females only. When our team captain arrived he reminded the other team of this rule and to our surprise and embarrassment it turns out the “guy” wasn’t a guy after all. Looks can be deceiving sometimes. The opponents’ captain offered to have the player in question prove her gender, but we graciously accepted her word for it.

Speaking of darts, my Facebook memories for today included this photo from nine years ago:

It brought to mind this old Beatles tune though:

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

Ah, well. I’m thankful for the memories of happier times. Mostly.

I promised some photos from yesterday’s hike, and here they come. As an added bonus, you can Relive the hike too.

I am truly thankful for your readership and indulgence. I’ll be back with more of this kind of crap tomorrow. Promise!

The above photo is from the front of the bar looking towards the water. There are dining tables in addition to the bar stools.

I don’t spend much time at the actual bar though.

Speaking of which, this is one of the few places in town where you can’t buy the attention of a waitress for the price of a lady drink. This is not to say the staff isn’t friendly. In fact, I’m Facebook friends with at least three of them. I’m always made to feel like an honored guest when I arrive, which is nice.

So, a seat with a view, cold beer, kindly folks to serve me; what else could I ask for? Well, Mango’s is also one of my favorite restaurants. I love the grilled pork chops especially, although lately they frequently haven’t been available. Like on this visit. Oh well, just give me a roast chicken salad then.

Regular readers may recall that during the early days of the lockdown last year a certain bar on the beach continued serving their regular customers in the manner of a speakeasy. I’m not saying where that was, but I always appreciated their trust and I’ve tried to repay it with my loyalty.

The music is low-key, happy hour beers are 70 pesos, and 90 pesos thereafter. No extra charge for the beach views. I like this place. A lot.

Where things stand so far:

1. It Doesn’t Matter
2. Mango’s Beach Bar
3. Alley Cats
4. Finger Monkeys
5. Adam’s
6. Blue Butterfly
7. Out Back Billabong
8. Dynamite Dick’s
9. Palm Tree
10. Hideaway
11. Rosies
12. Rock Lobster
13. Queen Victoria
14. Voodoo
15. Annex
16. MacArthur’s
17. Redz Pub
18. Whiskey Girl

Another Hash Monday so just a quick post before I head out. My back still ain’t right–maybe a bit less pain or maybe I’m just getting used to it–but I’m not thinking doing the trail today is in my future. The 43-year-old offered to come give me a massage, but now that I have a girlfriend I decided that wasn’t a good idea. I figure I’ll walk to the VFW for the start, then walk out to Baloy Beach for the On-Home. Hey, that’s part of the trail at least.

Sorry to say, that’s all I’ve got. I went straight home after my visit to Finger Monkeys last night and haven’t done shit since. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. We’ll see.

To begin, I hate the name. Finger Monkeys Ready To Race. What does that even mean? If I were compiling a list of worst bar names ever, this one would be near the top. Okay, rant over. It’s not the name outside that matters, it is what goes on inside that makes a bar fun.

Until a couple of weeks ago, Marick ran a closet-sized bar named Marick’s Bar and Grill. I have no idea why she didn’t bring that name to the new place. She did bring Joy and Jen, so at least I could enjoy some familiar faces in the new place. Finger Monkeys is small but twice as large as Marick’s, so there that is an improvement comfort-wise.

It was opening night and the place got really packed by the time I left. The first beer was on the house and free finger foods were provided.

So, obviously, you can’t judge what a bar is going to be like after the first night, but I haven’t let that stop me from doing so for some other bars in this series. If they carry over the friendly, small bar vibe that I experienced at Marick’s, I’ll like it. If they go the rumored Resto-Bar (karaoke with food) route, I won’t be participating. I enjoy the company of Marick and her staff in the bar and it is more conveniently located now near my other frequent haunts. I’m sure I’ll be popping in on at least a semi-regular basis.

I’m going to rank Finger Monkeys on the assumption it will have the same atmosphere as its predecessor. If that proves not to be the case, I’ll adjust the ranking accordingly.

1. It Doesn’t Matter
2. Alley Cats
3. Finger Monkeys
4. Adam’s
5. Blue Butterfly
6. Out Back Billabong
7. Dynamite Dick’s
8. Palm Tree
9. Hideaway
10. Rosies
11. Rock Lobster
12. Queen Victoria
13. Voodoo
14. Annex
15. MacArthur’s
16. Redz Pub
17. Whiskey Girl

I’m going to start this review with a disclaimer. Voodoo is one of the Dryden group of bars and I’m on friendly terms with the owner. I won’t intentionally let that dissuade me from giving my honest impressions of the bar, but I wanted to be upfront about that relationship. The owner is also the leader of the local business association and regularly interacts with city and barangay leadership on issues that impact the expat community. I don’t want to cause any trouble by inadvertently saying or showing things that may or may not comport with current restrictions and requirements. I tried to be discreet in my photography for that reason. With that said, here we go:

It is a very small bar, but not uncomfortable. People come here to enjoy the company of the dancers waitresses–no pool, no darts, just the ladies. Well, if you look closely at the photo above, there is a small curtained alcove in the back (you can see a young woman sitting there). I was told that it is a karaoke room. That sucks.

The bell ring is one of the traditions of the girly bar genre. A bell ring costs 2900 pesos ($60.) at Voodoo and all the girls working get a lady drink. It is a quick way to popularity. It’s not my thing, but I’ve seen some guys, usually tourists, go nuts with the bell rings–in some cases spending over a thousand bucks. That’s why the bars need the tourist trade, us expats tend to be cheap bastards.

So, here’s the deal. The girly bar format is really not my thing. Even when the girls could dance around on the stage, it just wasn’t much of an attraction for me. So take what I say with a grain of salt, some guys love this type of bar. The girls in these places tend to be more aggressive than in “normal” bars, although last night I wasn’t pestered much for lady drinks. One gal joined me at my table uninvited when I first sat down, but after I told the waitress “no” when she asked if I was going to buy a lady drink, I wasn’t asked again. The girl stayed at my table anyway, and I did eventually buy her a drink.

The attractiveness of the staff covered the spectrum, but no one stood out enough for me to be tempted. Service was fine. Beers were 90 pesos at Happy Hour and then are 110 pesos normally. The lady drink was 185 pesos. Prices tend to be a bit higher in girly bars for what I presume is the overhead expenses of employing so many women.

So, a cozy bar to sit and watch or chat with the women. I kind of liked the ambiance of feeling close to everyone surrounding me, almost like being at a party. If I were into the girly bar scene I might prefer a small bar like this one. And since I was the only guy in the place, I’m pretty sure I was the most handsome man around. I didn’t specifically ask about “take out”, but I’m pretty sure the girls are free to leave with a customer if they desire to do so. Bringing people together is what this bar format is all about.

The rankings:

1. It Doesn’t Matter
2. Alley Cats
3. Adam’s
4. Blue Butterfly
5. Out Back Billabong
6. Dynamite Dick’s
7. Palm Tree
8. Hideaway
9. Rosies
10. Rock Lobster
11. Queen Victoria
12. Voodoo
13. Annex
14. MacArthur’s
15. Redz Pub
16. Whiskey Girl