I was once again tasked with leading the Wednesday Walkers group hike yesterday. Honestly, it is challenging to think of a trail we all haven’t done recently. That’s one of the downsides of group hikes three days a week I suppose. I’m not familiar enough with the out-of-town areas to try and get that creative, so I settled on doing a beach walk to the old Navy base, then a climb up the Kalaklan ridgeline, and coming back down into Barretto. It had been over a year since I’d personally tried the beach walk and some things have changed. Twice we had to wade across small rivers where they emptied into the bay, and once we had to go into the water to get around a recently constructed fence. Other than that it was rather pleasant to see the beaches outside of Barretto. Then ridgeline is always a pain in the ass to climb, but we took the path that is easiest among difficult choices. All in, we did 8K and my hike mates seemed to have enjoyed it. Mission accomplished. Pictures later in this post.

The remainder of the day was also filled with fun and a dash of excitement. Well, maybe fun is an overstatement, but the hours got filled and that’s what it is all about, right? Started with our dart league match against Blue Butterfly bar. We won 12-1 but I wasn’t happy with my performance. I was involved in our one defeat and it is ridiculous how poorly I threw. I take full responsibility. We are playing the #1 team in the league next week and all of us are going to have to throw a hell of a lot better than we did yesterday.

“Jenny” didn’t show up to watch me play, which was disappointing. She was drinking with her neighbors at a resort hotel on Baloy and invited me to join in but after an afternoon of beers, I just wasn’t feeling it. No problem though, she joined me this morning for a very nice walk, then came over to my place for a burrito lunch. She really is a special woman, but we are taking things very slowly and that’s fine too.

Then I got a surprise message from Novi, a gal I had met last year when she worked at BarCelona. Actually, she quit the day after we met and although we remained Facebook friends, we never interacted. Last night she said she had started working again at a bar called The Green Room (located on the ground floor under BarCelona) and hoped I’d come to visit. Having nothing else to do, I popped in. It was good to see her again and I remembered why I had liked her that night I had met her long ago. We shared some drinks and laughs, and pizza. It was a good time. Oh, and she wants to go to the Hash on Monday. I guess we’ll see how serious she is about that soon enough.

One of my former friends with benefits wanted to come over this afternoon to give me a “massage”, but I told her I wasn’t interested. I’m really not wanting to get back in that mode where I pay for intimacy.

I previously agreed to meet with an acquaintance who wants to introduce me to her schoolteacher friend. I’m kind of regretting it now because I’m a little bit uncomfortable with the idea of crushing someone’s expectations. Yeah, I don’t currently have a girlfriend and unless this new woman (I’m not sure of her age, but her kids are grown) is an angel sent to rescue my lost soul and heal my broken heart, I’m probably going to take a pass. I made it clear in my message to her friend that this is a “meet, greet, and eat” event, nothing more.

I don’t know, maybe it’s good to have options. It’s hard to go all-in with Jenny when she’s been pretty adamant that she’s not willing yet to take the plunge with me. Still, I enjoy her company and don’t want to fuck up a budding friendship by getting distracted with other women.

Yeah, look at me. Suddenly, I’m seemingly popular with the ladies. I’m going to take it slow and easy and just wait to see what happens next.

To the Wednesday Walkers photos then:

Feel free to Relive it here:

All in all it was a good day. Better than most in fact. More about today, tomorrow.

Though half a score of years are gone,
Spring comes as sharply now as then—
But if we had it all to do
It would be done the same again.
It was a spring that never came;
But we have lived enough to know
That what we never have, remains;
It is the things we have that go.”
–Sara Teasdale

Yeah, I’m still missing my ex-girlfriend. I think about her all the time and hope she is happy. Meanwhile, life goes on and I need to make the best of it. “Jenny” went grocery shopping at Royal with me yesterday. I was prepared to let her fill a basket at my expense, but she just picked up a couple of things and didn’t want me to pay for them. I insisted though. I really do enjoy her company, but she’s made it clear that she is not looking for a relationship right now, always emphasizing that we are just friends. Okay. I can always use a friend.

Jenny did come home with me after shopping and made a drink that consists of coffee and vanilla ice cream. Can’t remember what it is called, but sounds like avocado. Might be French. We sat out on the back deck and enjoyed the view while we had our drink. She’s just accepted a new job as an online recruiter so had to cancel her planned trip to Germany. Said she might take an alternative vacation in Thailand. “Alone?”, I asked. She said she almost always travels alone and talked about backpacking in Cambodia by herself. I admit I was quite impressed and told her I respected her courage in doing so. She shrugged like it was no big deal. Good for her!

I told Jenny again that I’m out every night and I would love for her to join me anytime she wants. She said she might, but next time it was her turn to pay. I told her that wasn’t necessary but she said wanted to repay my kindness. I looked at her and smiled and she said, “It is still too soon for that.” I burst out laughing and said, “oh shit, you can read my mind!”. She laughed too and said it was pretty obvious what I was thinking. Still, I’m glad we are on the same wavelength even if she is unwilling to take it to the next level. Yet.

We finished our drinks and I walked Jenny out of the neighborhood. I told her I have dart league this afternoon and she said she might come by and cheer for me. I hope she does, I’d love that. This may be going nowhere, but at least it helps me stop thinking about my last love. We’ll see what happens next. If anything.

Speaking of darts, I was shit in the tourney last night. Once I was eliminated I decided to change my venue. So I made my way down to Wet Spot. Was surprised to see a large crowd on a Tuesday night, it looks like the tourists have indeed returned. And maybe not so coincidentally, the girls were dancing on stage again. First time I’d seen that since the scamdemic started. Perhaps things really are getting back to normal.

After a couple of beers at Wet Spot, I made my way home via trike. Was in bed by 9 p.m. Up this morning at 4 a.m. Yep, I am back on my “lonely old man with no girlfriend” schedule once again. Oh well, there are worse fates I suppose.

An interesting morning hike with the Wednesday Walkers this morning. I will write about that tomorrow. Right now I am running late for dart league. Man, these whacked Wednesdays are tough!

Feeling like a king again after having my crown re-installed by my dentist. 4000 pesos ($80.) for the rebuild of the crown and gluing it to the stub of my old tooth. We’ll see how long it holds this time.

After the dentist visit, I decided a haircut was in order. I wound up getting scalped despite asking for just a trim. That is twice in a row by two different barbers. I guess the military look is fashionable. Doesn’t really matter though, I wear a hat all the time, and the shorter the cut the longer it will be before I get scalped again.

Popped into Sit-n-Bull for some lunch on the way home. The taco platter was the daily special, so I went with that. I wasn’t disappointed and with the hunger satiated, I hoofed on home.

Pretty exciting day so far, huh? Well, here’s the thing. When it was time to head out for the evening I realized that I just can’t keep going into Barretto every night to drink copious amounts of beer. You just have to realize when it is time to make a change, and that time had finally come. So, I went to Baloy Beach instead to engage in my beer drinking ritual.

My plan was to start at McCoy’s, a nice little beach bar, and go from there. The only issue I have with McCoy’s is they have a damn loud videoke machine and as I approached, sure enough, I could hear someone singing. My intent was just to walk on by, but the manager saw me, and knowing how much I hate bad singing at high volume, signaled that I could sit in one of the nipa huts on the beach. Well, that was such a nice gesture, how could I refuse? Sat down and ordered up my first beer of the day.

I was on my third beer when the customers who had reserved the hut I was squatting in arrived, so I moved to the bar. Fortunately, the singers were drunk and only had a couple of songs left in them, so I stayed for another beer. Then my friend Erik arrived, so another round was in order.

I had the meatball sandwich and another beer. Or was it two?

After dinner, I decreed a nightcap was in order, so we walked a block or so up the road to Johan’s.

My thirst for beer finally satiated, I called it a night and caught a trike home. I failed at drinking my blues away, however, and had a mostly restless night trying to get her off my mind.

Started my day yesterday with an 8K solo hike. As I was leaving the house I almost turned around and went back. I was feeling so down I just wasn’t wanting to do anything. I forced myself to march on though, and near the end of my trek, I noticed how much better my mental state was. You really can walk your blues away it seems. I’ll put up a few photos later in this post.

My other big “accomplishment” for the day was finishing the Ricky Gervais’ After Life series on Netflix. It’s the story of how a man comes to deal with losing the love of his life to breast cancer. Although nothing so traumatic has happened to me of course, I could still relate to some of the insights and lessons the protagonist gains as he moves on with life. I confess I cried during the last episode, which might say more about me than the show. I honestly can’t recommend the series though. I think if you aren’t in a certain frame of mind it’s all just a little too dark. Or maybe British humor (humour) just goes over my head. I did enjoy most of the music and songs that played during some scenes. Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now was the background tune to the final scene in the last episode.

Here’s the trailer for Season Three if you want a taste:

It should come as no surprise that my plans for Sunday evening included drinking enough beer to make forgetting easier. I started that process at It Doesn’t Matter and was making some early progress when things changed. A message popped up on my phone from “Inez”, someone I hadn’t heard from in several months. She said she was in Barretto and asked if I wanted to meet and catch up. I said sure, and we agreed to rendevous at BarCelona when she was finished at the beauty salon.

It was a little surreal seeing her again. We’d actually only had one “date” way back when and it really hadn’t gone all that well. We stayed in touch for a while after that on Facebook but had drifted apart to the point of no direct contact. I guess what triggered her message was that I had seen her in an outdoor restaurant as I walked by during the Hash last week. And now here she was sitting with my drunk ass on the rooftop of BarCelona. We had a nice view of the Central Park Reef hotel and she said she had never been. I told her about how nice it was and she wanted to go there. So, I made a date with her for March 13, her first available off day.

Well, I know she is not the “one” or anything like that. I think we will remain firmly in the friend zone and I’m fine with that. Still, it was strange that she happened to step back into my life at this particular time. I realized that I had been looking backward and dwelling on what I lost, and now suddenly, I had something to look forward to. Funny how that works. And thank you for that, Inez.

Here are the photos from my hike I promised:

Relive it here if you have a hankering.

It’s Hash Monday so I’ll be back on trail this afternoon. Look for a full report tomorrow.

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Ah, the saga of a lonely man continues. Well, just because you are lonely doesn’t mean you have to be alone. I’m actually on the introvert side of the personality spectrum, but I prefer having people around when I’m drinking. That’s why I rarely drink at home. I’m not saying I need to have company with me at the bar, but being in the company of other patrons gives me something to look at while I imbibe. Entertainment if you will. Of course, the thirsty bargirls make their living by sitting with lonely strangers and I’m okay with that too on occasion. Anyway, it being Saturday night and all, and with the pain of my recent breakup needing medication, I headed into town with the intention of drinking copious amounts of alcohol in the form of beer. Here’s an illustrated story of the night’s events.

I had thought about stopping in at Outback and/or Queen Victoria before calling it a night but went back home instead after a brief detour at the Car Wash. Yeah, I’m having a hard time letting go. But what’s done is done. I’ll find a way to live with it.

I made a special meal for the special person who has chosen to depart from my life. It occurred to me that I had never demonstrated my grilling skills for her and I wanted to give a final culinary memory as my parting gift. I bought some steaks from John Kim at The Pub and had everything ready to go. The only question that remained was whether she would consent to dine with me. It didn’t look good at first but in the end, she agreed to join me for a last supper.

So, the meat, a baked potato, mixed vegetables, baked beans, and garlic bread. Overall, I’d rate it a B-. I prefer ribeyes, but these Angus cuts were tender and tasty. I got distracted in the house and when I came back to check the grill there was some flame broiling in progress. The fatty parts were blackened but no other real damage. I wasn’t happy with the potatoes though–my timing was off and they weren’t as soft as I like on the inside. She said she would have preferred the garlic bread a little toastier, but I always make it soft. Next time…oh wait, never mind. The veggies were good.

After she left I went into town and sat on the roof of BarCelona and tried to drown my sorrows.

Breakfast at Harley’s before my Friday group hike this morning.

And so it goes. A challenging hike this morning that I’ll post about tomorrow. Friday evening darts to come. And I expect I’ll quaff a few more beers than normal tonight to help ease the transition back into my solitary lifestyle.

I knew this day was coming. We agreed her chosen path was the right one to pursue and see where it leads. I wish her nothing but happiness. I’m going to miss her though. When it comes to love there is no such thing as a happy ending. But I have no regrets and I’m glad our ultimate parting was on friendly terms.

Good luck to you always, babe. Thanks for the memories.