With a couple of exceptions, I rarely read the comment sections on other blogs unless I’m leaving a comment myself. Assuming most of my readers are the same, you might have missed this one from a first-time commenter named Ted:
That Lydell seems like a handful of fun. What’s her deal? I’m sure you’ve already asked her out and been let down easily, but boy does she have some excitement for you. Is the snack bar a kind of place where you need to buy lady drinks so that would explain her enthusiasm for her best customers? But then again, with only 2 or 3 girls they wouldn’t be able to entertain all their guests. You mentioned that the owner runs 2 businesses in the same town with the staff alternating between the establishments ,what’s the difference?
Also, does Lydell have a tattoo on her back that says ” property of gwapo = handsome man John” ? I’m speculating that you encouraged her, judging by that tight embrace that elicited a rare smile from the author who may be usually too shy to show his teeth in pictures. It is good to see you happy ….more like content and not worried about how your lame dad jokes will land or whether the other patrons are enjoying your music. I do declare, this was one of your best days ….normal and fulfilling. I guess that happens when you meet someone new and you can listen as much as you talk, and participate in a great conversation that meanders and ebbs in a natural flow even as you walk the stranger via familiar path. Somebody once said that , a man is at his most confident when he knows what he is doing and knows that he can do it well, without much thought and agenda.
Your readers are starting to get used to your routines now. The bi-weekly Hideaway visit with Joy , and the reverse conjugal visitation to your mountain retreat, then the daily hikes with the hash brothers. Then there are the solo hikes you do, then the shopping excursions, and then the irregular dart games. Were you this deliberately organized during your working days? I have never seen someone so actively engaged in so many routines in retirement, with so few companions or clubs. Other than walking and drinking , it occurs to me that you’re not a member of many clubs, activities, teams or associations. And yet, you’re more active than most seniors all over the world.
You must have a very strong impetus and drive to get out of bed each morning and do so many things, usually by yourself and still keep things interesting. Bravo.
Even the time you take to write here is one of the marvels of the world. You probably know the statistics already: most people who start a blog give up after a year. Which makes it all the more amazing because as far as I can tell, you don’t even have a particular target in mind when you write , no particular audience that you would like to communicate with via the blog. Nor does it seek like you’re recording these events in your life for posterity, or making notes for a book, or seeking fame and fortune, or passing the time because you’re bored. You write because you want to. And every day you write.
I would like to see some of your self-driven impetus that moves you to continue this. This is the kind of drive that makes for successful people: CEO, Executives, Presidents , and survival experts who get stranded on abandoned islands. The kind of self-sufficiency that lead people to survive the harshest conditions, people who outlive death row and survive cults or gang warfare. Now I’m wondering which one you are… and realizing that you’re on a completely different level.
In case this note is not long enough. What’s up with the music videos you add at the end of each post? Are you a lyricist who can put any thoughts of yours to music ? Or do you listen to so much music that you can find a song for every event and day? Wait …that means you actually know the words to the songs I just realized that. While us mere mortals just hum and mumble through an Elvis song, you probably know every word. Not only do you seem to know every word,but you seem to be able to connect to each lyric on a deeper level….or at least know what the words mean. Amirite? Perhaps you were a singer-songwriter in a previous life. Actually, that would explain a lot.
That might be the longest comment in the history of LTG. What impressed me, though, beyond the investment in time in writing it, was that a reader picked up on a lot of the nuances in my life I have written about without directly stating them. I didn’t think I was being that obvious. Anyway, I do enjoy getting feedback from my readers; it is one of the reasons I try and post something every day. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Here is my response to Ted’s comment:
Hey there, Ted. Thanks for the comments. Very in-depth and some keen insights for a first-time commenter. I assume you’ve been reading the blog for a while. Let me try to address some of the points you raise.
Lydell is a friendly and fun gal, for sure. I haven’t asked her out (I don’t normally date the girls I meet in the bars). I’m not sure what her “deal” is, other than she’s in her early 20s with two kids working hard to support her family. No, Snackbar provides good service whether or not you buy any lady drinks. It’s a very small bar, so it doesn’t need a lot of bargirls.
Yep, you’ve pretty much nailed my daily routines. I’m impressed! I’ve honestly never really thought about it, but I’m probably more predictable in retirement than when I was working. Before, I had a work life and a home life to fill my days. Nowadays, I just take each day as it comes and do the best I can with it. I do live a relatively solitary life, no girlfriend (still hoping, though), no close friends to hang out with, and no clubs or groups other than the Hash and Wed/Fri walks. So my bar time is really what passes as my social life, which I guess, upon reflection, is a sad commentary on what I’ve become in old age.
I’m thankful I’m healthy enough to get out of bed every morning and go about my routines. I don’t really feel a sense of excitement about it; it is just what I do. Coffee and internet, feed and walk the dogs, walk myself, take a nap, write a blog post, play solitaire on the computer, and lately, watch a little TV. Then shower up and head out for a few hours in the bars, almost always home and in bed around nine, then wake up and do it all again. Over and over, day after day. Things can always change in the future–maybe I’ll find love again, and I do expect to start traveling more soon. I’m not unhappy with my life as it is–it could be better, but I’m glad it is not worse.
As for the blog, I guess I’ve come to think of it as a diary. When I first started writing Long Time Gone over seventeen years ago, it was intended as a way to stay in touch with family and friends back home and let them know what was happening after my move to Korea. These days I don’t think any of my family or friends from those days ever even read the blog. According to my blog stats, I have a little over 200 daily visitors here. I’m surprised so many find anything of interest in my daily ramblings, but I am very appreciative that people come and visit. I always look forward to the few comments I get, and I enjoy engaging with and responding to comments like yours. Thanks again!
Actually, that may be what motivates me to post every day–I don’t want to disappoint my faithful few readers, and it is also a way to share my life, thoughts, and “adventures.” in a way I’m apparently incapable of doing in person. I’ve thought about someday picking out the “best of LTG” posts over the years and doing one of those self-published books as my “legacy,” but I doubt I’ll ever get around to it. I’d rather spend the time living in the moment rather than look back on where I’ve been.
Ha, your comment about the songs I post made me laugh. I challenge myself to come up with a unique title for each day’s blog, and after seventeen years, that is becoming more and more difficult. Sometimes a song that seems to fit the narrative of the post, even in an obscure way, serves the purpose. Yesterday’s “Friends in Low Places” is a good example of that. But yeah, I listen to a lot of music when I’m on my solo walks. And I’ve always loved good lyrics, and I do commit them to memory. It’s funny, last night I was singing along with a song at the bar, and the bargirl next to me asked, “how do you know the words to that old song?” It was from the 1980s. What could I say except “because I’m old too.”
When I was a much younger man, I fancied myself a writer. I wrote some poems and short stories but nothing worthy of accolades (kind of like this blog now that I think about it). I guess trying to put your inner feelings into words is what a songwriter does. And my favorite songs are the ones that I can relate to on some level.
I hope you continue reading LTG, Ted. I’ve always said that my blog is never totally worthless; people can always say, “thank God I’m not that guy!” It means a lot that you actually enjoy coming here, and I was impressed that you knew my routines so well (bi-weekly visits to Hideaway, yep, every Wed/Sun). I look forward to hearing from you again.
I spent more time on my response to Ted than I do on most of my blog posts, so I thought it was worth sharing for all to see. And a big thanks to all my readers, commenters or not, for taking the time to visit LTG. It means more to me than you know. And if there is ever anything you want to know about, feel free to ask in the comments. My life is an open book. Or website.
