Comment tarry

With a couple of exceptions, I rarely read the comment sections on other blogs unless I’m leaving a comment myself. Assuming most of my readers are the same, you might have missed this one from a first-time commenter named Ted:

That Lydell seems like a handful  of fun. What’s her deal? I’m sure you’ve already asked her out and been let down easily, but boy does she have some excitement for you. Is the snack bar a kind of place where you need to buy lady drinks  so that would explain her enthusiasm for her best customers?  But then again, with only 2 or 3 girls they wouldn’t be able to entertain all their guests. You mentioned that the owner runs 2 businesses in the same town with the staff alternating between the establishments ,what’s the difference?

Also, does Lydell have a tattoo on her back that says ” property of gwapo = handsome man John” ? I’m speculating that you encouraged her, judging by that tight embrace that elicited a rare smile from the author who may be usually too shy to show his teeth in pictures. It is good to see you happy ….more like content and not worried about how your lame dad jokes will land or whether the other patrons are enjoying your music. I do declare, this was one of your best days ….normal and fulfilling. I guess that happens when you meet someone new and you can listen as much as you talk, and participate in a great conversation that meanders and ebbs in a natural flow even as you walk the stranger via familiar path. Somebody once said that , a man is at his most confident when he knows what he is doing and knows that he can do it well, without much thought and agenda.

Your readers are starting to get used to your routines now. The bi-weekly Hideaway visit with Joy , and the reverse conjugal visitation to your mountain retreat, then the daily hikes with the hash brothers. Then there are the solo hikes you do, then the shopping excursions, and then the irregular dart games. Were you this deliberately organized during your working days? I have never seen someone so actively engaged in so many routines in retirement, with so few companions or clubs. Other than walking and drinking , it occurs to me that you’re not a member of many clubs, activities, teams or associations. And yet, you’re more active than most seniors all over the world.

You must have a very strong impetus and drive to get out of bed each morning and do so many things, usually by yourself and still keep things interesting. Bravo.

Even the time you take to write here is one of the marvels of the world. You probably know the statistics already: most people who start a blog give up after a year. Which makes it all the more amazing because as far as I can tell, you don’t even have a particular target in mind when you write , no particular audience that you would like to communicate with via the blog. Nor does it seek like you’re recording these events in your life for posterity, or making notes for a book, or seeking fame and fortune, or passing the time because you’re bored. You write because you want to. And every day you write.

I would like to see  some of your self-driven impetus that moves you to continue this. This is the kind of drive that makes for successful people: CEO, Executives, Presidents , and survival experts who get stranded on abandoned islands. The kind of self-sufficiency that lead people to survive the harshest conditions, people who outlive death row and survive cults or gang warfare. Now I’m wondering which one you are… and realizing that you’re on a completely different level.

In case this note is not long enough. What’s up with the music videos you add at the end of each post? Are you a lyricist who can put any thoughts of yours to music ? Or do you listen to so much music that you can find a song for every event and day? Wait …that means you actually know the words to the songs  I just realized that. While us mere mortals just hum and mumble through an Elvis song, you probably know every word. Not only do you seem to know every word,but you seem to be able to connect to each lyric on a deeper level….or at least know what the words mean. Amirite? Perhaps you were a singer-songwriter in a previous life. Actually, that would explain a lot.

That might be the longest comment in the history of LTG. What impressed me, though, beyond the investment in time in writing it, was that a reader picked up on a lot of the nuances in my life I have written about without directly stating them. I didn’t think I was being that obvious. Anyway, I do enjoy getting feedback from my readers; it is one of the reasons I try and post something every day. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Here is my response to Ted’s comment:

Hey there, Ted. Thanks for the comments. Very in-depth and some keen insights for a first-time commenter. I assume you’ve been reading the blog for a while. Let me try to address some of the points you raise.

Lydell is a friendly and fun gal, for sure. I haven’t asked her out (I don’t normally date the girls I meet in the bars). I’m not sure what her “deal” is, other than she’s in her early 20s with two kids working hard to support her family. No, Snackbar provides good service whether or not you buy any lady drinks. It’s a very small bar, so it doesn’t need a lot of bargirls.

Yep, you’ve pretty much nailed my daily routines. I’m impressed! I’ve honestly never really thought about it, but I’m probably more predictable in retirement than when I was working. Before, I had a work life and a home life to fill my days. Nowadays, I just take each day as it comes and do the best I can with it. I do live a relatively solitary life, no girlfriend (still hoping, though), no close friends to hang out with, and no clubs or groups other than the Hash and Wed/Fri walks. So my bar time is really what passes as my social life, which I guess, upon reflection, is a sad commentary on what I’ve become in old age.

I’m thankful I’m healthy enough to get out of bed every morning and go about my routines. I don’t really feel a sense of excitement about it; it is just what I do. Coffee and internet, feed and walk the dogs, walk myself, take a nap, write a blog post, play solitaire on the computer, and lately, watch a little TV. Then shower up and head out for a few hours in the bars, almost always home and in bed around nine, then wake up and do it all again. Over and over, day after day. Things can always change in the future–maybe I’ll find love again, and I do expect to start traveling more soon. I’m not unhappy with my life as it is–it could be better, but I’m glad it is not worse.

As for the blog, I guess I’ve come to think of it as a diary. When I first started writing Long Time Gone over seventeen years ago, it was intended as a way to stay in touch with family and friends back home and let them know what was happening after my move to Korea. These days I don’t think any of my family or friends from those days ever even read the blog. According to my blog stats, I have a little over 200 daily visitors here. I’m surprised so many find anything of interest in my daily ramblings, but I am very appreciative that people come and visit. I always look forward to the few comments I get, and I enjoy engaging with and responding to comments like yours. Thanks again!

Actually, that may be what motivates me to post every day–I don’t want to disappoint my faithful few readers, and it is also a way to share my life, thoughts, and “adventures.” in a way I’m apparently incapable of doing in person. I’ve thought about someday picking out the “best of LTG” posts over the years and doing one of those self-published books as my “legacy,” but I doubt I’ll ever get around to it. I’d rather spend the time living in the moment rather than look back on where I’ve been.

Ha, your comment about the songs I post made me laugh. I challenge myself to come up with a unique title for each day’s blog, and after seventeen years, that is becoming more and more difficult. Sometimes a song that seems to fit the narrative of the post, even in an obscure way, serves the purpose. Yesterday’s “Friends in Low Places” is a good example of that. But yeah, I listen to a lot of music when I’m on my solo walks. And I’ve always loved good lyrics, and I do commit them to memory. It’s funny, last night I was singing along with a song at the bar, and the bargirl next to me asked, “how do you know the words to that old song?” It was from the 1980s. What could I say except “because I’m old too.”

When I was a much younger man, I fancied myself a writer. I wrote some poems and short stories but nothing worthy of accolades (kind of like this blog now that I think about it). I guess trying to put your inner feelings into words is what a songwriter does. And my favorite songs are the ones that I can relate to on some level.

I hope you continue reading LTG, Ted. I’ve always said that my blog is never totally worthless; people can always say, “thank God I’m not that guy!” It means a lot that you actually enjoy coming here, and I was impressed that you knew my routines so well (bi-weekly visits to Hideaway, yep, every Wed/Sun). I look forward to hearing from you again.

I spent more time on my response to Ted than I do on most of my blog posts, so I thought it was worth sharing for all to see. And a big thanks to all my readers, commenters or not, for taking the time to visit LTG. It means more to me than you know. And if there is ever anything you want to know about, feel free to ask in the comments. My life is an open book. Or website.

5 thoughts on “Comment tarry

  1. Wow
    So I’m commenting on a comment commentary now.
    My 15 minutes of fame starts now.

    But you’re like the celebrity. We read about you and sometimes we think we know you, which is of course not true. Just like any celebrity you’ll have fans and super-fans . Some of them may even be crazy fans. Did I read somewhere that some people have accosted you in the local bars and accused you of ruining it all for them? But that’s counterbalanced by tourists who use your blog as a guide for the nightlife and entertainment in your area ,or just for informational purposes.
    Would you say the ratio is on the positive side whenever you interact with rabid fans ? Or casual readers for that matter.

    Just be glad that most of the characters ….I mean people, you write about don’t read the blog that much , or at least don’t feel the need to comment about what you’ve written about them too much. Those would be the real people impacted and affected by your writing ✍️ as they’re the characters in the stories. Would you say your writing skills, the level of English you use here would be beyond the enjoyment of some of your local friends whose mother tongue is not English ? Other than the bone-dry dad jokes , I would think the blog is at an accessible pace for even middle-school educated people in your neighborhood. Or perhaps people don’t really like to read about things that they know about , or events they participated in with people they know at places they visit frequently. Others may demure at reading an account of their activities, especially if such activities are so mundane to not warrant a report afterwards.
    Or maybe people just don’t read that much these days. I can’t imagine Lydell working a full shift and going home to read an account of her antics from the night before. Or even Joy sitting at work and perusing your site to see pictures of herself stuffing her face. That would take the fun out of it. To be fair, I don’t think even celebrities enjoy reading about themselves all that much, especially accounts of their mundane daily lives.

    And yet you keep writing. That alone still impresses me.

    200 daily readers is quite a feat. Seeing as there are only a handful of regular commenters and another handful of once-in-a-blue moon new commentators, I would have expected that your readership was much smaller. Or rather, I would have thought that 200 would be the highest daily readership here, as most people usually stumble upon a blog and read up the few stories for a few days before they move on. Unlike me, I had to read a few to trace the arc of the few main characters and try to remember the names.

    Suppose the readers who visit for information about your town end up staying longer as they’re entertained by your writing ✍️ Out of interest, are you able to discern where your readership hails from ? I would guess the majority would be from the 3 countries that you have at one point called home 🏡 and your diehard fans like family and former work friends.
    Congratulations are in order. 200 is virtually a circulation of a small town newspaper 📰 back when people still read the papers. And being the sole reporter, editor and staff writer must be quite challenging for you. Especially since you don’t particularly go out of your way to seek new adventures to write about. Other than your recent interviews with the lady that the world agreed was exotic, I haven’t seen you chase a story and follow up on a promising lead. And yet you are more prolific than a veritable newshound at a mid-size publication with advertisers baying for more sensational stories to justify their expenditures.

    Speaking of advertisers, shouldn’t you be making money this blog? I don’t know how the internet money-making schemes work, but I’m sure there’s a bitcoin NFT paywall crypo that could be paying you top dollar for the steady writing you churn out on a daily basis. I jest , of course. You’re comfortable and you wouldn’t need the extra coins in any case.
    Initially I had thought that there was a registration process for readers to comment , seeing as only the hallowed few readers often comment . Maybe I’m different, but I usually go straight to the comment section with everything I read. As you can imagine, this is a rather dangerous path to go on with YouTube comments or any of the social media sites in general. The ability to comment on anything has led people, yours truly included, to think that their opinions are not only valid and important, but that they’re experts on virtually any subject under the sun. The more information that is freely available on the internet, the less knowledge and understanding of any one particular subject that people have. This is just my drunk uncle’s ramblings, multiplied by 5 billion people and all at the same time. That’s a family gathering that you’d rather not attend.
    It’s understandable that most of your readers will come for the main body of your encounters, especially when you provide colorful photographs with the aforementioned dad jokes.

    Also, is this blog somehow connected to another one written by the poster Kevin? I presume the 2 of you share co- writing duties or at least both enjoy the art of writing so much that his blog is the first thing you read in the morning, and yours his. I lack the requisite brain cells to comprehend much of his writing , but some day I’ll work up the courage.

    In any case , do enjoy the weekend festivities. I look forward to reading about the antics of all the characters of your city , and especially the weekend guests who surely bring their own charm. Drink responsibly and stay safe 🙏

    Thanks for the reply.
    As you can tell, I do tend to write lony missives that meander into uncharted territory and ends in a mirage of pointlessness.

  2. Ted,

    I would have expected that your readership was much smaller.

    In my own experience, commenters represent only the tip of the iceberg in terms of actual readership. I’ve watched some blogs die, and when the blogger makes his/her final post, suddenly all these people erupt out of the woodwork saying things like “Long-time lurker, first-time commenter.” That can be frustrating—knowing there are people who have read your work for years but are too shy or too unmotivated (or too whatever) to comment. Where were you all this time, dammit?

    As for the relationship between John’s blog and my own: we have totally separate blogs, but yes, I’m a fan of his, and he’s a fan of mine. He usually leaves his comments on my blog around 6:30 or 7 a.m. (Seoul time); I don’t normally see a new blog post from John until around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. When I see a post from him, I read it and often leave a comment maybe 95% of the time, but not always.

    I’d say “Welcome to John’s corner of the world,” but it sounds as if you’ve been reading his blog for a while. Well, happy continued reading! John leads an entertaining life. It contains a lot of routine, yes, but there are plenty of emotional ups and downs as he endlessly makes trouble for himself. Ha!

  3. Kev, you are one of the handful of readers that I’ve met in person. I enjoyed the hikes and meals we shared. And, of course, Hairy Chasms is a daily read. I first found your blog in 2005, shortly after I moved to Korea, and I’ve learned a lot from reading it over the years. I also always look forward to joining you vicariously on your marathon walks across the country.

    Thanks for the kind words here, and more importantly, thanks for all the advice you’ve tried to impart. I know you think I just don’t listen, but that’s not the case. I’ve taken a lot of that wisdom to heart, even if my subsequent actions make it appear otherwise. I’m getting there; just taking the LONG road!

  4. Welcome back, Ted!

    I’m kinda the opposite of a celebrity, more like the lonely guy sitting in the corner that no one seems to notice unless it’s to say, “what’s up with that guy?” As I’ve said, my blog has evolved (devolved?) into more of a personal diary where I come to share my thoughts and feelings about my daily life here. I really don’t write with a particular audience in mind; in fact, I prefer to think I’m anonymous even though I know that is not the case. I don’t want to have to self-censor, although I will occasionally change the name of someone I’m writing about to respect their privacy.

    Over the years, I’ve had several strangers approach me and introduce themselves as blog readers. That’s always a surprise. I’ve never been accosted; they are usually quite friendly. Probably the closest thing to a confrontation I’ve experienced was when a local expat I’d never met came up and expressed his displeasure that me and my hiking buddies continued our activities during the scamdemic lockdowns. I was polite but told him he could stay home if he wanted, but my walking in the hills wasn’t putting anyone in danger. Anyway, as you said, most people who find my blog have done a Google search for something I’ve written about. When they run into me in person, it’s a friendly coincidence.

    I have a handful of local friends and acquaintances who read the blog. Some leave comments; others might mention a post they’ve seen to me in person. I don’t really trash talk, but I might occasionally go into a little too much detail about some of my encounters. One guy told me his girlfriend saw a post about one of the Filipinas I’d had some fun with that was a friend of hers. She wasn’t really offended, but it made me realize I might need to be more discreet. Sometimes I’ll change the name or not post a photo. My latest ex-gf did find my blog and didn’t like being written about. So, for the first time in the history of the blog, I went back and password-protected the posts that featured her. A few months ago, I got an email from a woman I dated in Korea back in 2007 wanting me to delete a photo of her on my blog that she found when she googled her name. I left the photo but took her name off.

    200 daily readers is small potatoes, and I’d wager a good portion of those are spambots. And no, I don’t have any breakdown on who they are or where they come from. I’m pretty certain it is not the same 200 every week. I’d guess maybe I have 50 people who come here on a regular basis. Most of those don’t comment, which is why it is always a nice surprise when someone like you pops up.

    I try to answer any questions posed in the comments, but don’t normally follow up with a blog post. I had to smile at your “small town newspaper” reference–I always wanted to be a journalist, and here I am! I’m guessing most people come here looking for something specific and then move on. The few, the brave, the bored, who stick around are the ones I’m writing for. A long-ago ex-gf once said to me, “no man is totally worthless–he can always serve as a bad example.” I expect I have some readers who drop in just so they can feel better about themselves–I’m glad I’m not THAT guy!

    Nope, no ads at LTG. I don’t like them, and my readership is too small to monetize anyway. Whatever process is involved in leaving a comment here is just to keep the spam out. I comment on other blogs when I have something to add, but I gave up a long time ago trying to change minds or otherwise influence people. There used to be lots more politics here on LTG, but whatever I have to say, others are saying better, so what’s the point?

    No connection between my blog and Kevin’s other than we met through our blogs and became real-life friends. His writing is superior to mine, and he covers a lot more topics of interest. You are missing out if you don’t give him a read.

    Thanks for being a reader and commenter here, Ted. I always appreciate the feedback, perspectives, and interactions with my faithful few followers.

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