Only one other person showed up for the Wednesday Walkers group hike yesterday. That might have something to do with the downpour that occurred about an hour before our scheduled hike. I actually didn’t expect anyone else to show, so was surprised when Brian walked up. We’d never met before, but did our introductions and headed out for a flat stroll on wet roads.

It was nice meeting Brian. A comparatively young man (mid-forties), but he’s lived in the PI for twenty years or so. He’s relatively new to Subic, so all the paths we walked were new to him, and he seemed to enjoy them. I took him up Sawmill road, across bridge #1, through a San Isidro village, crossing over the river again at bridge #2, then a couple more kilometers on Sawmill before another crossing on bridge #4, then through the Naugsal valley, into Marian Hills, and back to Alta Vista.

We were so busy yakking and getting to know one another that I didn’t think to take any photos (it’s a regular hike for me, so nothing was new). Brian took this one in the valley:

Got home, rested some, then watched another episode of Manifest. I’ve seen ten now, and it is holding my interest, but I’m also thinking, how the hell are they going to drag this out for three more seasons? It would be a good two-hour movie, but I guess we have to explore all the intricacies of every character’s relationships. Ah, well. It passes the time.

I baked up a batch of blueberry muffins (the good kind with real blueberries) to share with the Hideaway Bar girls. Stopped in at Sit-n-Bull and bought Joy some lasagna (her favorite) and some chicken fingers and lumpia for everyone else. The food seemed to be a hit.

Joy had a nice surprise for me as well–a new wallet to replace the one I lost a couple weeks ago.

After Hideaway, I dropped into Blue Butterfly to say hello to Tanya. She didn’t show up to this week’s Hash, so I wanted to check up on her. Turns out she had arrived a few minutes late, and she had the good sense not to try and hike the trail alone.

My next (and final) stop for the evening was at Cameltoe. My friend Johnny was there, and we enjoyed a nice chat and the music from my Spotify playlist. Of course, I wound up emptying my new wallet by buying multiple lady drinks and food for the girls.

It was a pretty nice day.

'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases
My blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places

Here’s how my lazy Tuesday went down.

Oh well, life goes on. I tried out a new blueberry muffin mix yesterday.

Completed my weekly grocery shopping at Royal without incident. Bought less than usual and still spent $200. Can’t think of a better definition of inflation.

School begins here on August 22. How do I know, and why do I care? Well, I don’t particularly care, but I know because I’ve received several desperate pleas from mothers saying they need to buy school supplies, uniforms, etc., for their kids. I helped a couple that I thought were worthy. That includes the one who pleaded not for a donation but begged to give me a massage in order to earn money to outfit her son for school. I respected her willingness to work for the money rather than have it just given to her. She came over yesterday afternoon and rubbed me the right way. She sent this photo later, thanking me for helping her.

The other recipient just sent me this photo:

Facebook memories reminded me that I first met this woman six years ago:

I am reminded of the trip we made to the Philippines in September 2016. Eun Oke had a great time, but at the end of our vacation, she woke me up early one morning and said, “we don’t have a future together.” I asked her why and she told me, “because you want to retire and move here. Who wants to live in a poor country?” I responded that you could live in your rich country and pretend this world doesn’t exist, or you can live here and try to make a difference for some people. That’s what I want to do.

We wound up staying together for a few more months, but it didn’t work out for us in the long run. But she did render this drawing of me before we broke up:

Everything happens for a reason, I suppose. I enjoyed her company while it lasted. Most of the time, anyway.

I thought for sure I would be in a relationship here, for one thing. Actually, I had trained Loraine to be my caregiver, masseuse, helper, and companion. She dumped me, too, a few months before I arrived. And as regular readers know, I haven’t had a successful relationship in the four-plus years since I moved. Saw this today and thought maybe I’m going about it all wrong:

During my internet wanderings, I came across this map showing the degree of poverty in different parts of the Philippines:

I guess I’ll start calling my bar crawls charity runs. Last night’s efforts to improve the lives of thirsty bar girls included stops at It Doesn’t Matter, Cheap Charlies, Outback, and Cameltoe (Kamto).

I also took a dinner break along the way at Sit-n-Bull.

And there you have the story of my Tuesday thoughts, ramblings, and activities. It may not be a perfect life, but it is the best life I have. I’m going to enjoy it while I can. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

I visit the Hideout Bar on Wednesday and Sunday. It’s become my tradition to feed the girls and to give drinks to Joy during my visits. They all seem to appreciate it, and it’s a nice diversion from my regular routine. Hmm, I just asked myself how it’s different, and the best I could come up with is that I don’t usually buy dinner in other bars. Although sometimes I do. But not on a regular schedule, so it is a little bit different.

I had a tab to pay at Kamto, so once I finished at Hideaway, I made the walk across town to take care of business. I wound up finishing my night there. A couple of friends were there to chat with, I was handling DJ duties, and the staff was kind, attentive, and thirsty. Paid the 3000 pesos from Saturday and another 2000 for last night. Plus, what I’d spent at Hideaway. That’s big spending for me, but not really in excess of my budget. How do you put a price tag on a good time?

It’s Hash Monday, so I’m gearing up for today’s adventure. I didn’t do my usual Monday morning walk to Baloy, just wasn’t feeling it. I’m still working my way through season 1 of Manifest. It’s holding my interest so far, so there’s that. I am curious about what is causing the supernatural/paranormal events being experienced by the story’s main characters. The other relationship stuff is a little boring to me. Naturally, the story is being drawn out to fill in the episodes for the three completed seasons, with one more to come soon. We’ll see if I can hold out that long.

And oh yeah, I found this as an ad on Facebook:

Back tomorrow with a Hash report.

Sunday is feeding day at Hideaway Bar. The last time I brought the Chooks to Go roasted chicken, Joy suggested I get the fried chicken version next time instead. So yesterday, I just gave her the money and told her to get whatever the girls like.

Nothing else of interest about my night. Drinks at IDM, Outback, and Queen Victoria as I made my way home. Yawn.

This morning I got bored with taking naps, so I turned on the television. I randomly scrolled through the Netflix offerings, then clicked on a show called Manifest. Probably too soon to call it my destiny–I watched one episode of what is a three-season (so far) series. We’ll see if I get around to the second episode. I have a notoriously limited attention span. An interesting concept, though–a planeload of folks suddenly reappeared after being missing for five years, but for the passengers, time had stood still. The lead actress is a hottie, so there’s that going for it.

It’s a rainy Hash Monday, so that should make for an interesting trail. I did a neighborhood walk this morning and noticed trail markings here in the neighborhood. We’ll see what the Hares have in store for us. Hopefully, nothing too steep and slippery.

That’s all I’ve got for you today.

I hope the day will be a lighter highway
For friends are found on every road
Can you ever think of any better way
For the lost and weary travellers to go

Making friends for the world to see
Let the people know you got what you need
With a friend at hand you will see the light
If your friends are there then everything's all right

Another Saturday night out on the town. IDM and Wet Spot were my venues of choice for drowning my sorrows. In between the two, I had me some grub at Sit-n-Bull.

Had a nice chat with Daddy Dave at Wet Spot. He’s still going strong at 80+ and hasn’t let a little thing like last week’s skin cancer surgery slow him down any. He’s quite the inspiration. I mentioned that I have a birthday coming up this month, and we got a good laugh about me being nine years old when he earned his bachelor’s degree in 1964. Dave went on to have a career in medicine before building his business empire here in the Philippines over twenty years ago. He splits his time between Barretto and Manila and still maintains a residence in Amsterdam as well. Probably the most interesting character in town.

Speaking of friends, I made a new one on Facebook recently. I get friend requests all the time from people I’ve never met, but I’ll generally accept them, provided we have some mutual friends in common. Now, that’s pretty much as far as it usually goes, although occasionally, I’ll engage in some chit-chat. And so it was with “Angel,” who comes across as both friendly and articulate. We were exchanging messages this morning, and on a whim, I suggested we get to know one another better. It just seems to me a good way to break out of my current funk by meeting someone new, and who knows, maybe we’d click romantically. I’ve been thinking a girlfriend might be just what I need. I suggested we get together for lunch this afternoon, and she agreed.

“Where are we going to meet?” she asked. How about Mango’s? “Are you sure?” Um, why? Is there somewhere else you prefer? “No, it’s not that. Are you comfortable meeting me in a public place? You know I’m transgender, right?”

Oh shit. No, I didn’t know that. She pointed out that it says so on her Facebook profile, but somehow I had missed that. I told her I really appreciated her honesty and that I’m not one to judge, but I just don’t swing that way. She was gracious and understanding. I’m glad I didn’t find out she was a girl with something extra the “hard” way. And I won’t have to answer the question, “why did you think she was a real girl?” by saying, “I don’t know, I could just feel it inside me.”

So, my first tentative steps back into the dating life didn’t quite turn out the way I imagined. I’ll need to do a better job vetting potential dates in the future. “What has she gots in her pocketses?” as Gollum would have the good sense to ask.

And if dodging a bullet wasn’t exercise enough, I took a nice 6.5K walk this morning.

You can Relive the walk here:

And that pretty much is all I have to say about the way things are around here.

It does. What a fucked up piece of shit yesterday turned out to be.

My Fitbit died. Not even six months old. That’s the third (and last) Charge 5 I’ve purchased, and they all wound up dying for no explicable reason. I’ve been a loyal Fitbit customer since I first started walking back in 2015. I do believe the time has come for me to give Garmin a try.

Of course, that’s nothing compared with what was to come. No one else was up for a walk on Friday, so I headed out on my own. I was suffering from a serious lack of motivation, but I did manage to do the Baloy Beach walk. Even avoided the temptation to catch a trike on the way back home. Only about 5K all in, but that was better than the nothing I felt like doing.

I spent the rest of the day being lazy, taking several naps, and not doing much else besides posting on the blog. Well, I did do my ab exercises, so I wasn’t a total zero.

And then, it came time to shower up and get ready for my Friday night, featuring the SOB dance competition. I put on a fresh pair of shorts and, as usual, transferred the contents from the pockets of the previous day’s shorts. Keys, inhaler, hanky, wallet…wait a minute, where the fuck is my wallet? Okay, no need to panic. It made it home with me (I paid for the trike), and I had it that morning (gave my helper cash for meds), so it had to be around here somewhere. Except that it wasn’t. It made no sense. I thought back to the only time I’d been out of the house, my morning walk, but the wallet had never left my pocket. Oh, wait, yes, it did. I had seen “mama” on the Beach road and gave her the usual 100 peso donation. I must have somehow failed to make sure the wallet was securely back in my pocket before walking on. Well, if I had any hopes that some honest passerby would try to return the wallet, I know now that was just a foolish dream. It’s gone for good.

The contents included around 3000 pesos, my Chase credit card I use for grocery shopping, my alien registration card, and some other less valuable items. I’ve canceled the credit card (no one had tried to use it, at least) and will have to figure out the best way to get the replacement mailed here. I’ll go to immigration next week and see what the process for replacing the ARC involves–the card also doubles as my ID. Luckily, I wasn’t carrying my debit card, so I still have access to cash via ATMs.

Needless to say, losing my wallet was a real kick in the nuts, and given my current state of mind was especially painful. I just need to suck it up and deal with the inconvenience my own stupidity has brought about.

Despite my crushed spirit, I headed on out to the SOB at Queen Victoria. I was the first to arrive, which is good because that allows me to choose a seat with the best view. Except EVERY table surrounding the stage had a “reserved” sign. WTF? I mean, I get having a VIP table, but to relegate everyone except the “in crowd” to the second-tier seating is pure bullshit. I called a waitress over, but she just shrugged it off, saying they had “called ahead.” Hmm. I was there an hour early and would have spent that time drinking and spending money; they opted for empty tables instead. I told them the lack of front-row seating was unacceptable and left. So, the bad day just got worse. No SOB for me this week.

I had no idea what to do next except try to kill the pain with copious amounts of alcohol. Cheap Charlies would work for that. I had a pretty gal seated on each side of me and plied them with drinks while I sucked down my gin and sodas. My plan succeeded better than expected, and I was drunk before 8 p.m. So, I went home and went to bed.

Today I seem to have a bit more energy and maintained a brisk 12-minute kilometer pace on my morning walk.

My sinuses have also cleared up, which is quite a relief. I’m so impressed with these doctors I’ve found; they healed with meds and vitamins what another doctor wanted to handle through surgery. It pays to shop around.

So, now it is time to put these setbacks behind me and move on to the next big thing. I’m not sure what that might be, but this morning I found myself contemplating the wisdom of dating again. I really think some (unpaid-for) female companionship may be just the thing to get me out of my head. Hey, what could go wrong?

Why wouldn’t it? Yesterday was pretty much like every other day around here. We’ll see about changing things up one day soon. In the meantime, I continue to plod along. I did an 8K walk out to Naugsol and back. I was ready to bail and catch a trike about halfway through, but I somehow managed to talk myself out of doing so. As I alluded to in my post yesterday, I’ve come to realize that this “no energy” symptom may not be physical after all–it might be all in my head. Not sure just how you go about fixing that, though. Today every time I’ve felt tired, I’ve gone and laid down for a while. It hasn’t helped much; I’m still exhausted when I get up again. I’m definitely tired of this bullshit, that’s for sure.

Nothing special about my night out on the town either. Other than it seemed more boring than usual. IDM for a couple, then across the highway to Cheap Charlies for a few more.

Finished up at Wet Spot again.

It’s SOB Friday, so at least that will be something different. Tonight’s event is at Queen Victoria for the first time ever. I assume they will use the band stage (it’s a live band venue normally) as the dance floor. I’ll let you know how it goes.

So, yeah, I need to pick my ass up and find some new ways to start enjoying my life again. Travel is something I want to do for sure, and I’m thinking my first trip in-country will be to Bohol. I’m also running out of time to leave the country to renew my visa, so it looks like a worthless vaccination is in my near future.

Ah, well. It’s all part of the adventure, I suppose.

I want a new drug
One that won't make me sick
One that won't make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick

I want a new drug
One that won't hurt my head
One that won't make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm alone with you

I want a new drug
One that won't spill
One that don't cost too much
Or come in a pill

I want a new drug
One that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm alone with you
I'm alone with you, baby

I want a new drug
One that does what it should
One that won't make me feel too bad
One that won't make me feel too good

I want a new drug
One with no doubt
One that won't make me talk too much
Or make my face break out

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm alone with you
I'm alone with you

Another day, another step forward. I actually had two acquaintances inquire as to my well-being–my state of mind rather than my physical health. Apparently, I’ve been wearing my heart on my sleeve of late. Yeah, I’m borderline depressed these days, which might explain some of the issues I’ve been dealing with. Not to worry, I’ve been in deeper and darker places. Just one more hole to crawl out of.

Nothing particularly noteworthy about my evening out. Fed the crew at Hideaway bar and finished my night at Wet Spot, where I drank alone. My regular gal had treated me rudely during my previous visit, so I told her last night I had no interest in her company. She seemed taken aback, but I’m in my grumpy phase and have a lack of tolerance for BS. I had the same amount of fun for half the money!

On my walk this morning, I heard a song by Townes Van Zandt for the first time: To Live Is To Fly. I see now that it was recorded in 1972; I must have been busy being a senior in high school or something. Anyway, it spoke to my weary brain all these years later.

Living's mostly wasting time
And I'll waste my share of mine
But it never feels to good,
So let's don't take to long.
You're soft as glass
And I'm a gentle man;
We got the sky to talk about
And the earth to lie upon.

Days, up and down they come
Like rain on a conga drum
Forget most, remember some
But don't turn none away.
Everything is not enough
And nothin' is to much to bear.
Where you been is good and gone
All you keep is the getting there.

To live is to fly
Low and high,
So shake the dust off of your wings
And the sleep out of your eyes.

Our Wednesday Walkers hike was an 8K endeavor, mostly on pavement, with a long stair climb. I was plenty tired at the end. Here are some photos:

And that’s the way it went down yesterday. Stick around and see what happens next!

Life keeps moving forward, and as long as you are on that train, the best you can do is enjoy the ride.

Facebook reminded me today of a different train I used to ride: The Virginia Railway Express (VRE). During another version of my life, I used to commute from Quantico in Virginia to L’Enfant Station in DC to my job at the US Department of Education.

I did my grocery shopping at the PureGold supermarket this week. It’s good to change things up occasionally, and sometimes I can procure some otherwise hard-to-find items that Royal doesn’t stock. Not so much yesterday; one item I needed was some dental flossers. For some unfathomable reason, Royal never has them. Up until yesterday, I’ve always been able to stock up on floss at PureGold, but nope, none to be found. Yeah, I know; if that is my biggest complaint, I’m doing pretty damn good.

After shopping, I had my driver take me and Buddy to visit the vet. Buddy’s been scratching his ears and walking around shaking his head like a crazy person for a couple of weeks now. Figured it was time to get it checked out. The vet diagnosed an ear infection and provided some droplets and pills. And this:

In the afternoon, I had a massage but declined the offered “happy ending.” I guess that illustrates that I’m still feeling out of sorts better than anything else I might say. I’m just not in the mood.

As a quick update, all the physical symptoms are gone–no more fever and no more aches and pains. Now I’m just tired. How tired? I’m taking naps throughout the day. Up at five this morning doing my internet routines, and by six, I felt the need to lay back down and rest. So, it’s not even an issue of being physically tired. Just mentally fatigued. I did an 8K walk this morning, which wasn’t easy, but the hardest part was forcing myself to get out there and do it. My body is capable; my mind isn’t willing. My plan is just to walk it off.

One bright note which may or may not be related is that I don’t have much appetite these days. Or at least I don’t feel hungry much. Weigh-in this morning finds me at 206.9. I’ve lost more weight in the one week since I’ve been sick than I did in the three previous weeks of my diet. So, there’s a silver lining, at least.

Last night I did some water with gin at IDM, Cheap Charlies, and Hot Zone. I was the only customer at Hot Zone, and when I left, I gave the dancers and waitresses 50 pesos each to remember me.

I finished my night at Outback, where once again, I was the only customer in the place. The girls were all looking at me thirstily, and I eventually relented and bought them a round of drinks. Yeah, I’m a soft touch, but I don’t mind. Getting a drink commission means a lot more to them than the money does to me.

There you have another snapshot from my so-called life. I’m hoping I get over this being tired thing soon. I’m tired of it. Now I need another nap.

The march to normality continues. I did a 3.5K neighborhood walk, then hoofed it to the far side of town to give the gals at Hideway their Sunday dinner–pizza and brownies this week. One of the waitresses mentioned that it looked like I’d lost weight. She said my face was skinnier, like I’d been sick. Well, it’s my belly I want to lose, but it seems to be holding out just fine.

It had been a while since my last visit to Cheap Charlies, so I made that my next stop. I was happy to see my new old favorite Roseanne was working. She was cheerful and friendly and full of laughter at my lame attempts to be funny–in other words, she was doing her job the way it is supposed to be done. She confided that the other girls were afraid to join me because I looked grumpy. Yeah, matter of fact, I have been grumpier than normal. While I was at Hideaway, my former love was texting me about her new love. Not the one she dumped me for; that didn’t work out, either. Not that it matters, I was always going to be her second choice, and that will never be good enough for me. And while I appreciate her honesty, I’m understanding why it is hard to maintain a friendship with an ex-love.

I also got a text from an old friend who wants to move back to Barretto and needs some assistance with getting a place to live. I was happy to agree to help.

One of the things I like about Cheap Charlies, besides the view, is the music is a good mix played at an appropriate volume (loud enough to be heard and enjoyed, but not so loud as to impede conversation). And an old Creedence song, Hey Tonight, caught my ear. It was a popular song back in the day, but not a huge hit like Proud Mary or Fortunate Son. You hear those songs often over the years, but it had been maybe thirty years since I’d listened to Hey Tonight. It’s probably the closest to time travel I’ll ever get, but hearing it again carried me back to the wild times I spent in the 1970s. It was a good trip to go there again.

Just as I was fixin’ to call it a night, the skies opened up, and a downpour ensued. Nothing to be done but order up another round of drinks. As I was sipping my soda water with a dash of gin, a stranger approached and said, “you’re McCrarey, right?” He was in town for a visit and had Googled ‘Barretto bars,’ and my humble blog was one of the featured results. Nice to meet you, Dan. Hope you enjoy your visit. These encounters with readers I don’t know are rare, maybe once a year or so, but it is a little disconcerting to be reminded I’m not as anonymous as I imagine myself to be.

I rather enjoyed this FB post from my younger brother:

Still feeling blah this morning, but I did my dog walking duty on a rainy morning.

Hash Monday is upon me, and I’ve still not adequately tested my ability to endure. I’m going to wing today and see how it goes. I’ll bail whenever it feels like “too much, too soon.” That’s the best I can do. Assuming I survive, I’ll be back with a full report tomorrow.

Hey, Tonight,
Gonna be tonight,
Don't you know I'm flyin'
Tonight, tonight.
Hey, c'mon,
Gonna chase tomorrow
Tonight, tonight.

Gonna get it to the rafters,
Watch me now.
Jody's gonna get religion
All night long.

I’m not sure what’s going on. All the other manifestations of my recent illness have receded except for this lack of energy–the old “my get up and go, got up and went” saw. Well, I’m still having mushy brain syndrome, an example of which is my fingers don’t push the keyboard letters in the order my mind tells them to. My nasal sinuses, which have been clogged for months, are finally beginning to open up–I’d say maybe as much as 50%. That makes breathing more convenient, but I’m also regaining my sense of smell. That’s not always good. And I have no idea what this is related to, if anything, but all of a sudden, Coke Zero doesn’t taste good to me anymore. Weird times.

Yesterday afternoon I headed into town, but I was surprised by my own lack of enthusiasm for doing so. Well, the rain dampened my mood, but it was more than that; I just wasn’t feeling it. I went anyway because I wanted to drop into Alaska Club and wish owner Jerry a happy birthday. I arrived before they opened, so I kept walking until I reached IDM. There were people I knew to meet and greet, and once I settled in, my negativity evaporated. I had three drinks (the way I mix them, it is water with a splash of gin) and headed for Alaska.

I wished Jerry a happy birthday and bought him a beer, and ponied up to a table. A few more dancers than usual, and one them kept giving me an “I know you” look. I looked back and shrugged, and she was like, “C’mon!”. This pantomime continued for several minutes until I finally called her down for a drink. She did look vaguely familiar, but I had no idea why. Turns out she used to work at IDM and would sometimes drink with my crush Roan and me. Waitresses come and go constantly there, and honestly, while I remembered her, she didn’t stand out in my mind.

We had a nice chat, and she could hold her own in the witty repartee exchange. She is not the cutest girl around by a long shot, but she has a pretty hot body. Especially when you consider that she’s pumped out SIX babies! Mind-boggling.

Jerry had a nice buffet brought in. He blew out some candles, we sang him a song, and chowed down. I finished my third drink and said my goodnights. I did achieve my daily step goal (15,000), so I took that as a good sign. Was in bed before 8:30 and woke up refreshed and ready for action after an 8-hour sleep. Or so I had hoped.

I couldn’t even make it through my morning internet ritual before I felt the need to lie down and rest my weary head. Thirty minutes later, I was back at it until the urge to put my head on a pillow overwhelmed me once again. I did get up to feed and walk the dogs, and I had grand plans to push myself on my morning hike in preparation for tomorrow’s Hash. Then it started raining, and I knew the walk I had in mind wasn’t happening. I did have an alternative plan, and it involved sleeping some more. Maybe that’s why I’m so tired?

So, that’s where things stand. I’ll do a neighborhood stroll this afternoon before I head into Barretto. I hope I turn the corner tomorrow and can do the Hash. I’ll play it by ear, but I’m sure I can find an alternative route if the trail is too tough for my weak old body. I’ll be glad to put this behind me. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.