It’s time for my monthly get-out-of-town trip, so this morning we will be heading to Pundaquit for two days of beach life. Let me dash off a quick post about yesterday before I go.

Mostly more of the same old, same old Tuesday shit. Grocery shopping in the morning came with the standard out-of-stock frustrations. I mean, I get it that imported goods are occasionally subject to shipping delays, but come on, Royal, what’s your excuse for being out of locally brewed San Miguel Light, for crissake?

And speaking of imported foods, I was thinking some good ol’ string cheese might be a healthy snack.

I took a pass on playing darts because of my back issues. I only experienced pain when bending over or lifting a leg — walking wasn’t bad. So, at beer o’clock, we marched on down to Baloy Beach.

We had the raft driver contact the floating bar on his walkie-talkie to confirm they had wine available for Swan before we made the voyage. They did, and so we boarded.

After a while, another couple came aboard and joined us at the bar. Being on the introvert side of the spectrum, I don’t generally engage with strangers, but this guy wanted to chat, and I’m not rude (at least when I’m sober). Wallace is a Canadian expat, and he and his gal were visiting from Davao, a place I’ve been to before, so we compared notes. He also worked in Korea for 20 years, so we had that in common as well. Anyway, it turned out to be a pleasant conversation. Nice to meet you!

We headed to shore for some Treasure Island dining and ran into Lizza, the owner of Kokomo’s, on the beach.

Against all odds, I met and interacted with another stranger while at Treasure Island. A retired Navy guy who lives in Florida, but is currently working out of Singapore. He hadn’t been to Barretto for many years, so I gave him the lowdown on the best places to hang out. He’s a dart player with a warped sense of humor, so we had that in common. It was nice chatting with him as well. And yes, I’ve already forgotten his name (I was six beers to the wind by then).

From my Treasure Island perch, I could see something going on up on the mountain behind the Hanjin shipyard, so I headed down to the beach for a closer look.

With our hunger satiated and my beer capacity reached, we headed back home and called it a day.

Today is my son Kevin’s 48th birthday. I’ve been ghosted, but I hope he is happy.

I’m not a big Bill Maher fan, but like a stopped clock, he gets it right sometimes.

From the January 2018 LTG archives, I’m back in Pyeongtaek and experiencing being ghosted for the first time. It doesn’t get easier with experience.

I never knew there was such a thing as “Generation Jones,” or that I was a member of that elite group (those born between 1954 and 1965). Today’s YouTube video enlightened me. Ain’t I special?

And now some humor before I hit the road:

I’m happy to report that the back is feeling much better today. Still a little stiff, but not nearly as painful.

And now to prepare for my adventure. At least I’ll have something different to post about tomorrow.

I guess there is something to be said for being fat and happy. But it probably isn’t too fun to be fat and prematurely dead. And taking a half-assed approach to weight loss is marginally better than not trying at all, so that’s what I’m doing. Maybe instead of hitting that brick wall at the end of the alley going full speed, I can downshift and delay my arrival at death’s door. We’ll see how that works out for me.

So, I’m giving up the ice cream (miss you, baby!) and sweets. I’m also making an effort to reduce my beer consumption by slowing down the intake. That’s a work in progress, but I’m getting there. I’m getting in 15,000 steps per day, so hopefully, I’ll burn off some fat along the way.

Speaking of beer, I came across this article from a “longevity doctor” who drinks in moderation and doesn’t see that as a bad thing. Of course, I drink more than he does, but the doctor notes that genes make a difference. I’d say my daily beer intake is similar to what my father would imbibe, and he lived to be 83. It’s that Irish blood, I reckon.

In unrelated news that proves things can always be worse, this guy fell in love with one of those AI girls, and it didn’t end well for him.

Meanwhile, things continue on in my daily grind much as they always do. An uneventful Sweet Stroll kicked off the morning.

Sunday is usually our Arizona floating bar day, but given the overcast skies at beer o’clock, we opted not to bother since there would be no sunset to enjoy. We started out at Red Bar instead.

When it was time to eat, we cautiously crossed the highway and popped into Jewel Cafe.

We crossed the highway once more and did our nightcap at Jumpin’ Jacks. I played a couple of games of pool as much to slow my rate of beer ingestion as anything. I played pretty well against a skilled waitress opponent, but still lost both games. That’s okay, I had fun anyway.

Then it was time to trike on home. I’m going to need to make some adjustments to my schedule, though. Getting back to the house so early, I’m finding myself going to bed at 8 pm for lack of a better option. The problem with that is I’ll wake up four or five hours later and have a hard time getting back to sleep. It could be that I need to fire up the TV for an hour or two before bedtime. We’ll see.

Moving forward in the December 2017 LTG archives, I’m back in the Philippines as I prepare for the upcoming move. Gem, the gal I met on a dating site, joined me for the adventure, and she seems to be enjoying herself. Met up with my vlogger friend John and his new girl. They are married now, but John is in late-stage Parkinson’s and has moved to the wife’s province, where she and her family care for him. And I also did some exploring around Alta Vista and Club Morocco in search of somewhere I might live. A good trip thus far, we’ll see what happens next. Why wait? Here’s another post about the small-town vibe Barretto has, as evidenced by my running into a guy named Scott, whom I had recently friended on Facebook, several times. And I haven’t even done my first Hash run yet.

Today’s YouTube video talks about the seven things you should not do after turning 70. Yep, I’m guilty of #4, labeling myself “too old” to try new things. I also struggle with #5, letting memories of the past invade my present. Well, there is always time to do better. Until it runs out. I’ll get right on it.

You are never too old to laugh. I hope.

Another Hash Monday has arrived. The Hare sent me a preview map, and today’s trail involves a 400-meter climb to the top of Kalaklan Ridge. It’s been a while, and I miss the views from up there. But alas, I’m still feeling off, and upon further consideration, I’ve decided that today is not the day to undertake that challenge. Instead, Swan will join me for our own Hash trail. We’ll still do a climb, but only about half as difficult. But I’ll be back on the ridgeline one day soon.

Country Joe McDonald has passed away. Back in my teens, I was big into the anti-war movement, so songs like this one resonated with me. And look at me now, all “bomb, bomb, bomb, Iran.” Anyway, here’s Country Joe firing up the audience at Woodstock. Thanks for the memories.

Nothing to get pissed about, though. I hope to keep peeing well into the future. Speaking of health, Kevin Kim left a link in the comments to a video about measuring visceral fat. The video provided a link to a webpage with an easy at-home method to calculate the amount of visceral fat you carry in your innards. So, I did the measurements, and the results weren’t pretty.

Not good, not good at all. Somehow, I don’t think I can walk this off. I’ll think of something. Or die trying.

Meanwhile, life goes on. We did our usual Decay Dance in the morning.

At beer o’clock, we journeyed into Barretto and kicked off our evening at Sloppy Joe’s. I’ve decided the downsides of doing the gin-and-soda thing outweigh the benefits. So, my new plan is to drink beer at a slower pace. My goal last night was to limit myself to one beer every thirty minutes. I had my first beer at 4:30 and my last for the night at 7:30. By my reckoning, I had seven SMLs during that 180 minutes, or one every 25.7 minutes. I didn’t achieve my goal, but that’s still slower than normal for me. I’ll keep working at it.

Two beers at Sloppy Joe’s, then we headed to Myleen’s for dinner.

One beer to wash the tacos down, then we moved on to Wet Spot for our nightcap. Green Room is closed for renovation, so all the staff from there are doing duty in Wet Spot (same owner). Wet Spot was a lot more crowded than usual, including some of the familiar Green Room customers. We found an open table, and I treated our regular Green Room waitress and our regular Wet Spot waitress to a lady drink. Hey, I didn’t want them fighting over me! If I had stopped at three beers, I would have met my 30-minute-per-beer goal. But it was too early to go home, and Swan hadn’t finished her wine yet, so I enjoyed beer number four before calling it a night.

Swan captured the moment where I managed to play my air guitar and sing some Money for Nothing before we departed Wet Spot. The chicks weren’t free, though.

From the December 2017 LTG archives is a post in which I recall the dozen times I’d loved and lost in my life and assigned blame for those failures as appropriate. You can see for yourself that I wasn’t always at fault. One of these days, I’ll have to update the list with my relationships since moving to the Philippines.

Today’s YouTube video talks about how living in the Philippines is a different experience from short-term visits. No duh. I’ve certainly encountered some of the difficulties he mentions, but that just goes with the territory. The “sorry, out of stock” thing still irks me, especially at a big grocery store like Royal. And when the shelf goes bare, it often stays that way for months. Um, ever heard of inventory control? (Heh, I just now remembered what my father would sometimes exclaim when he became frustrated: “Damn, that just frosts my balls!”) Of course, here in the tropics, they wouldn’t know what frost is. Anyway, when you choose to live in a third-world environment, sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, relax, and accept the Filipino way.

And now to lighten things up some:

And on that note, this post has come to an end.

Live ’em while you got ’em, that’s the best and only option. Here’s how that worked out for me yesterday.

Our housekeeper, Jane, is Swan’s niece and resides in our basement apartment with her hubby and three kids. It’s equipped with everything they need to live comfortably except a television. Our mission yesterday morning was to rectify that situation. There’s an appliance store on the far side of town, and I told Swan we could make that our walk destination. She was a little surprised when I took her the back way via the My Bitch trail and Rizal Extension, arriving at Robinson’s a little over 6K later. Here’s some of what we saw along the way:

And then we arrived safely at the Robinson’s appliance store, where I purchased a 50″ Smart TV for a little under $400. Our downstairs residents were ecstatic.

Later in the afternoon, Swan and I made our way to the Kokomo’s floating bar.

Our visit to the floating bar proved to be a disappointment. No wine for Swan, so she had water. They wanted 120 pesos for a gin shot, plus another 100 for the can of soda water. I had one, and then we decided to move on.

But we weren’t giving up on our beach time. There’s a small resort named Tropical Garden, further up Baloy, owned by a Hasher (Goat Fucker). We decided to check out the vibe.

So, Tropical Garden wanted 180 pesos for a gin shot. Add in a can of soda water, and it’s nearly three times more expensive than a beer. Nope, no can do. I’ll have to find another way to reduce calories and carbs. I still haven’t been able to find out what’s going on with the unavailability of San Miguel Zero beer.

I’d given up on gin and soda by this point, but I enjoyed a couple of cold San Miguel Lights, then we called it an early night and headed on home. Notwithstanding the Kokomo’s disappointment, we enjoyed our beach time.

It’s December 2017 in the LTG archives, and in this post, I recount the once-in-a-lifetime experience of walking over 50,000 steps. It’s chock full of pictures of the area surrounding Camp Humphreys and the city of Pyeongtaek. Thanks to Kevin Kim for the challenge and inspiration to make the journey of a lifetime.

For today’s YouTube video, we’ll take a journey back in time and see what traveling on a stagecoach was really like. Spoiler alert: it was not a comfortable experience.

Now we will travel on to where the humor is:

Another day, another post about yesterday. And now to get on with today.

As I’ve alluded to in my recent posts, I’ve kinda sorta been feeling out of sorts lately. I’m sure some of this derives from being in an emotionally weird place, but there are physical aspects as well. Light-headedness, lethargy, weird aches and pains are some of the symptoms I’ve been enduring. I need to schedule another consult with Dr. Jo to see if any of this is liver-related. God knows, my liver gets plenty of exercise, but it ain’t as young as it once was. I saw an ad on Facebook that described what happens when your liver begins to fail, and it was a little too familiar for comfort. And since it was an advertisement, they suggested an herbal remedy called Lymphoria. Well, it was “only” 1800 pesos ($35), so I decided to order a bottle. I figure it can’t hurt, right?

Wednesday went as Wednesdays usually do, starting with the Wednesday Walkers group hike.

A 6K trek on a hot day was plenty.

Swan took a “me day,” so I was on my own for the evening adventure in Barretto. I plopped my sorry behind down on a stool at Cheap Charlies and put my new drinking strategy to work. On the plus side, my gin shot with a can of soda water lasted around thirty minutes, about twice as long as a bottle of beer. On the negative side, after two gins, I was feeling a tad more buzzed than I wanted to be, so I switched to beer for the remainder of the evening. I’m not giving up yet, but I’ve got to learn to pace myself better.

Otherwise, my visit to Cheap Charlies was pleasant enough. My hike buddy Todd popped in for a while, so I had someone to chat with, which is nice. I fed the girls in lieu of lady drinks, and they were very appreciative. I was even given the rare beer on the house as a thank you.

I wasn’t quite ready to call it a night, so I popped into Alaska for a final round of drinks. Still made it home before 8 pm, where Swan was awaiting my return and the smoothie I promised to make for her. And that was all there was to Wednesday.

From Facebook memories:

In the November 2017 LTG archives, I share my Thanksgiving blessings. I’m not sure why it is that it seems that it is always in looking back that I realize how good my life was, despite my feeling that it sucked. Hopefully, I’m not going look back on the present in a similar fashion.

Today’s YouTube video features people even dumber than me. Yep, you read that right. The most dangerous thing I do is crossing the National Highway, but I’d never try to take a selfie while doing so.

Shit, I hate when a video I select to share won’t embed. You’ll have to click this link to see it. Sorry!

On to the humor, then.

And that’s all I’ve got for today.

I’m going to make the effort to change things up around here. We’ll see how that works out for me. Me being me, I’m not taking the hard road, but I intend to tweak my lifestyle by eating smarter. No, I don’t plan to count calories or anything like that at this point. I’ll just try to show a little more discipline and self-control when it comes to what I put in my mouth. As a first step in that direction, while grocery shopping yesterday, I successfully avoided purchasing the usual half-gallon of ice cream. Instead, I made a sugar-free pudding before heading out to the bars, and my drunken dessert was waiting for me when I returned.

Speaking of drinking, I’m making some modifications in that regard as well.

So, one shot of gin is around 97 calories. That’s not much less than the 100 in a bottle of San Miguel Light. But I get the shot in a tall glass and order a can of soda water (no calories) on the side. That turns one drink into three, reducing the calories consumed and lessening the alcohol volume. But I’m not giving up on beer entirely. My current plan is to alternate between the drinks. Hopefully, that will moderate the impact of the gin intake whilst also reducing my overall consumption of calories. In my previous switches to gin, I suffered some repercussions that included getting drunker than I wanted to be (like falling down getting out of the trike drunk). Wish me luck as I move forward with my new plan!

Oh, and if you are wondering about my motivation, for some reason, I stepped on my bathroom scale yesterday. 259.7 pounds. Yikes!

I walked home from the Royal supermarket after yesterday’s shopping excursion.

As nice as the views along the highway are, there isn’t much shoulder space, and people drive here like pedestrians have no business being out walking. The scooters are especially bad, treating that small roadside space as a motorbike lane. It tends to take the joy out of the hike for me.

I did my drinking at Sloppy Joe’s and Wet Spot yesterday. Green Room is closed for renovations now. As I understand it, the new owner is adding restrooms (yay! no more going next door to pee) and a dance stage (boo! we don’t need another dancing bar). We’ll see how that works out. In the meantime, all the Green Room staff are working out of Wet Spot. That meant buying twice my usual number of lady drinks. Anyway, I was still standing when I got home, so my moderation plan is working so far.

From the November 2017 LTG archives comes a post about my working life. With less than six months to go before re-retirement, I felt appreciation for the meaning work brought to my life and some trepidation about what my life might look like without it.

Today’s YouTube video offers five signs that your life may be ending soon. Other than my expanding abdomen, none of them is yet in evidence for me. Well, the memory is fading, but not to the extreme extent the AI voice talks about. I still can’t shake this feeling of impending doom for some reason, but I’m going to keep on doing what I do for as long as I am able.

Bad puns and bad humor are always here to be enjoyed:

And now on with my snack-less and sweet-less life. Thank God for alcohol!

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. –Groucho Marx

Easier said than done, but worth the effort, I suppose. Yeah, I’m having one of those days, but this too shall pass. In the meantime, I can take comfort in knowing that things can, and have been, worse than they are. It’s easy to forget your blessings when you take them for granted, but you don’t have to look far to see that the struggles of others are infinitely worse.

When I decided to move to the Philippines, one of my goals was to try make things better for people by my being here. Yeah, you can’t help everyone, but you can make a difference for some. To some degree, I’ve achieved that goal, even if you don’t count providing lady drink commissions. One of my current projects is helping an acquaintance who is currently fighting uterine cancer. I help out with rent, food, and medical expenses, but damn, the struggles of getting proper treatment in a public (versus private) healthcare system here are phenomenal. Here’s her latest message to me:

Hello John, update for today; I couldn’t undergo chemotherapy this Monday, and I was also confined for another day because I had a blood clot in my catheter. They conducted some tests, and I was discharged from the hospital after the tests. I will return to the hospital this Friday for my CT scan urogram. I hope it gets done so we can know what the urology department will do regarding whether I will need surgery or not. I’m back on antibiotics again because chemotherapy didn’t go ahead due to my cough and cold. It’s really frustrating because I seem to catch coughs and colds quickly now.

Always fighting, John. I don’t want to die yet; I don’t want to stress myself over what’s happening with my treatment. I constantly pray that I can get through all of this.

What happened to me earlier was intense. Before my CT urogram, I fainted; suddenly, I couldn’t breathe, my legs started to tremble, and I had a headache. I thought it was the end for me, and I ended up praying unexpectedly, saying, “Lord, please don’t take me yet.” My blood pressure and sugar levels weren’t low; I just couldn’t handle the prolonged fasting because I needed to fast for the CT scan. They’ve postponed my schedule today, and now I’m rescheduled for the CT scan on March 5. Aside from the severe headache I’m experiencing, the equipment for my CT scan isn’t complete, so I have to go back on March 5. The effects of the chemotherapy they are giving me are hard; they are not just attacking the cancer but also weakening my good cells and immune system. I need to find a clinic that prescribes fenbendazole and ivermectin because they have been effective for colorectal cancer patients. I need to try it; I don’t want to die, Lord. Please help me; don’t abandon me.

Endless gratitude, John, for all the help you have given me, and thank you for not abandoning me in this fight. I owe you a huge debt of gratitude, as the Lord sent you to help me financially. Thank you, Lord, for everything, and please do not forsake me in my battle against this illness.

What a nightmare to go through. I believe she is in her 30s. At my age, I wouldn’t have the strength or the will to fight this battle. When my time comes, I hope I go easy into that gentle good night.

Here are my blessings from yesterday:

Sunday Sweets Stroll:

Later in the day we made our way out to the Arizona floating bar:

When our time on the floater was done, we popped into Red Bar for some libations before moving on to Jumpin’ Jacks to check out their menu.

I did play a game of pool with one of the waitresses while waiting for our food order, and I won! Maybe that darts practice is paying off.

And that’s all there is to the Sunday story.

As expected, the Iran memes are exploding across the internet. I found this one worthy of sharing:

From Facebook memories, John’s place opened in its new location four years ago:

On to November 2017 in the LTG archives, and in this post, I was reminded once again how stupid I am when it comes to matters of the heart. Jesus, what was I thinking?

Today’s YouTube video provides 10 reasons not to retire in the Philippines. Damn, NOW you tell me. But seriously, going on eight years now, and I don’t regret coming here. Most of these can be overcome by invoking the mantra I learned long ago as a tourist: Take a deep breath. Relax. Accept the Filipino way. That said, the noise does still bother me, and if I drove here, I would be insane from road rage by now. Still, I’d rather be here than back home in the USA.

Humor me:

And now to prepare for another Hash Monday.

I’ll tell you tomorrow.

I woke up to the first morning in March and the news about the big takeout in Iran. I’m not a big fan of regime change wars, but Iran has been a worldwide threat for decades, and sadly, the USA has enabled its terrorism. With the leadership now dismantled, it’s on the Iranian citizens to stop being victims and stand up for their freedom. The clips I saw of the people in the streets in Iran celebrating Khamenei’s death were telling. Just like the outraged American leftists protesting this bold move that may lead to a more peaceful Middle East, they have shown where they stand in opposition to freedom, peace, and human rights. We shall see what happens next.

An oldie but goodie:

Meanwhile, life goes on in my little piece of paradise, such as it is.

Decay Dance:

In the afternoon, I practiced darts and threw halfway decent, but I wasn’t feeling the Saturday tourney at Alley Cats. Instead, we made our way out to Cheap Charlies.

We decided to try somewhere we seldom visit next. Our first option was Cyclone Bar, but before we even got to the door, we could hear the crap music blaring. That was a good reminder of why we stopped going there. So we ventured further up the highway and popped into Nipsey’s Bar. We were the only customers, but the girls on stage stood up and went through the dance motions as we sat down. The music was shit, but I am more tolerant when young gals are movin’ to the beat of songs they know. And then the thought occurred to me that the music genre shouldn’t matter to a dancer. I called the waitress over and asked if I could request a song, and my request was granted. I had them play the Glenn Miller classic, “In the Mood.” That song is even older than I am. I couldn’t resist dragging Swan up from her seat and doing a little swing dancing with her. The gals on stage seemed to enjoy watching, too. After my requested song was done, the playlist reverted to some classics from the ’50s and ’60s, and I was really enjoying the vibe. And then a couple of the gals on the dance stage tried their hand at swing dancing and did a nice job of it. Naturally, they earned a tip!

We did our nightcap at Queen Victoria, and they actually had some customers. I guess they are doing something right. I even got comped a beer for the first time there. A nice way to end our Saturday night.

And now, from the October 2017 LTG archives, is the post entitled “FUCK ME!” Yeah, one day into my new “love” affair, I got fucked good and hard. At least I didn’t have to wait seven years to get screwed, as I did in my previous relationship. And for those who might be interested in the epilogue, after years of no contact, on a whim, I sent Loraine an email a few weeks ago to see how she was doing. I was a little surprised she bothered to respond, but she told me she is doing well. She and Kev are still together, but he’s living in the UK and can’t yet afford to retire in the Philippines. Also, Loraine’s annulment still hasn’t been granted, so the marriage Kev promised hasn’t happened. She chose the path she considered best for her, and I wish her a happy life. Things turned out okay for me in the end.

Today’s YouTube video is the story of another man’s unhappy ending in the Philippines. As is the case in most of these sad tales, stupid choices lead to bad outcomes. Obviously, avoiding the quagmire of the Philippine “justice” system should be everyone’s primary goal, but sometimes shit happens.

And now for the happy ending:

And that’s all he wrote. For today anyway.