Or, more precisely, the lack thereof. But hey, I am in the midst of a significant transformation: going from being a “player” to a faithful partner in a relationship. It is all still baby steps so far, but it feels like things are moving in the right direction. Given my history in matters of the heart, there is certainly no guarantee that this will end well, but I’m motivated to not fuck things up by being stupid. Wish me luck!

Yesterday Swan once again accompanied me and my helper on the weekly grocery shopping excursion to the Royal supermarket. And this time, Swan allowed me to purchase a few household items on her behalf. I also bought a case of beer to keep at her place for those nights I visit the house instead of the bars. A jar of instant coffee as well because I plan to join her every morning for a cup of java as part of my new routine. Like I said, small steps for now until she is ready to let go of her past and embrace a future with me.

The landlord is still at the house overseeing the work being done, and Swan feels obligated to stay at home to assist her as needed. So, I was on my own yesterday afternoon and evening. MJ, the mountain mama I support, came by for her allowance and once again asked if she could perform massage services to earn extra money. I told her that I have a girlfriend now, so there would be no more massages. She seemed surprised and a little disappointed but took it in stride. What else could she do?

With nothing better to do on a Tuesday at beer o’clock, I headed into town. First stop was Sloppy Joe’s. Chris and his girl were there as usual, and Jim arrived shortly after I did.

We took turns buying rounds of drinks until the time came for me to go in search of some food. Joy had messaged me while I was at Sloppy Joe’s, and I decided it was time for us to have “the talk.” I stopped at John’s place and ordered some Korean-style chicken wings and beef bulgogi for delivery to Hideaway. When I arrived, I bought Joy a drink and told her I’d begun a relationship and wouldn’t be spending as much time in the bars, including the Wednesday feeding. However, my new girlfriend didn’t object to my continuing the Sunday provision of food. I asked Joy if she was okay with me bringing my girl with me to Hideaway, and she said it was not a problem. In fact, she took the news better than I expected, and I didn’t notice any change in attitude during my visit last night. So, that was a relief.

I drank my fill at Hideaway and then made my way safely home. Some more chat with Swan before bedtime, including announcing my plan to join her for coffee before my hike in the morning. She said she would be happy to prepare it for me, and I responded I would be glad to drink it. A true 50-50 relationship!

I baked a batch of blueberry muffins this morning and took some along for the coffee date. We sat out on the living room porch and enjoyed the view, chitchat, and some of my usual lame jokes. Swan and Alicia (the landlord) laughed in all the right places, though.

And later this afternoon, Swan and Alicia will join me at my current residence for dinner. I’ll be grilling up some steaks and serving them with a baked potato and corn on the cob. I baked a carrot cake for our dessert. Our after-dinner plans include a visit to the Central Park Hotel rooftop. Alicia has never seen the view from there, so she should enjoy it. I’ll be happy to have my sweet girl at my side.

And that is where things stand as of now. Maybe this slow-motion dance we are doing will result in a stronger foundation for our relationship. I care enough about Swan to want her to find her way to my love in a manner that makes her comfortable. I don’t expect her to let go of the past; that’s a big part of who she is. But the welcome mat to a future with me is ready and waiting for her to take that step. I sense that she is feeling more and more comfortable with the idea, so I just need to be patient and wait for her to join me.

I’ll let y’all know how the dinner and night out go in tomorrow’s post.

The main reason I used “Hanky Panky” for today’s post title was that the song came into my head from out of the blue. There is no understanding the way my muddled brain remembers the trivial and forgets the important stuff like vocative commas. Maybe I should just run for president.

Here is some of what I saw yesterday captured in pixels. And oh, until just now, I never knew that “pixels” comes from “picture elements.” It’s great to have a learning experience at my age!

As I recounted in yesterday’s post, I spent my afternoon coming to terms with Swan on the new relationship status we’ve entered. I’m excited about discovering what lies ahead for us.

It being Sunday, I had a feeding to attend to at Hideaway Bar. The girls changed things up this week by mainly ordering finger foods. No rice involved; that’s a first!

I paid a visit to Cheap Charlies and The Green Room on my way home. Let me check the numbers from yesterday.

• Lady drinks: 2310 pesos
• Food: 2250 pesos
• Beer: 990 pesos
• Tips: 950 pesos

Hmm. I think being in a relationship is going to wind up saving me money!

I had coffee this morning with Swan at her my our place, or soon to be anyway. We are taking baby steps as we move forward, and I’m fine with that.

I did discuss my weekly feedings at Hideaway with Swan, and she said she had no objections to that sort of thing. As far as I’m concerned, Swan is welcome to join me there and participate in the fun. I’m going to have to let Joy know about my new relationship status so she won’t be surprised if Swan does come with me sometime in the future. To be clear, I have not seen Joy outside of the bar for several months, so I’ve not been misleading her.

It should be interesting as I move forward with my transition from being a “player” to having a partner by my side to share the joys and sorrows of this thing we call life. I’m looking forward to it.

I asked Swan if she would like to join me for dinner, but she declined, saying she preferred to stay at home to eat and drink. Okay, different strokes for different folks and all that. Honestly, I’d be willing to spend more time at home if I had someone I cared about to hang out with. As it is now, I go out to get out.

So, I began my lonely night on the town at It Doesn’t Matter. Just me and one other customer in the outside area. Agnes was my waitress, and I bought her a drink. She introduced me to a brand new waitress, so I took her lady drink cherry too. A couple of beers later, I felt the pangs of hunger, and I set upon considering what to do about it. It occurred to me the nearest eatery was right around the corner, a place called Myleen’s. For some reason, I’d never eaten there before (I had takeout once), even though it is one of the best-reviewed restaurants in town, especially well-known for its Italian and Mexican offerings. I’d been craving something from south of the border; the decision was made.

I don’t recall ever having an enchilada (this one is shredded beef) served in quite this fashion. I’m used to it being covered in a spicy sauce. That said, this one tasted just fine, and I could have eaten two. I’m not big on rice, but this blend was tasty. I also enjoyed the refried beans. I’d seen on the menu that the enchilada plate came with chips and salsa, which I assumed would be served as an appetizer to enjoy while my meal was being prepared. Nope, just a few chips and not enough salsa. That’s my only real complaint. The dinner and beer were less than 500 pesos, a very fair price. I’ll be back to try some other items soon.

After my meal, I crossed the highway and went upstairs to Cheap Charlies. I was the only customer, so my regular crew was especially happy to see me.

I only did one round of lady drinks for my threesome, plus a 50 peso tip when I departed a couple of beers later.

Anyway, I closed out my evening with a couple of beers at The Green Room, where I enjoyed watching a couple of skilled pool players making some amazing shots. Then it was next door to Wet Spot for some chat and drinks with the big boys, including owner Dave, at the VIP table. On the way out, I grabbed a pecan pie from Sit-n-Bull to bring home for my bedtime treat. And yes, I smothered the pie under some vanilla ice cream.

• Beer: 1,145 pesos (I bought a couple for others at the table)
• Lady Drinks: 760 pesos
• Food: 750 pesos
• Tips: 430 pesos
• Transportation: 100 pesos

The SOB is at Wet Spot tonight, and Mary asked if she could join me for her last night in town. How could I refuse? We are going to meet at Sloppy Joe’s later; then, I’ll show her the view from the Capital Reef Hotel rooftop before heading to the dance contest.

And here are some nuggets from my internet wanderings:

And finally:

Back with more of the same tomorrow!

It was a nice start to the day to be greeted with that beauty on the bay whilst walking the dogs. And later in the morning, Swan joined me for my daily walk. I kept it flat and easy at her request (hell, that’s my preference, too), and she completed the 6K jaunt without complaint.

Swan’s still calling me “boss,” but otherwise, I’m enjoying the hell out of her company. So, if this is as good as it is gonna get, I’ve still got nothing to complain about.

Last night I did the feeding at Hideaway. On Wednesdays, I let Joy do the ordering, and she had a former co-worker prepare and deliver the food. The girls all seemed to enjoy it.

After Hideaway, I walked all the way across town to Snackbar. The owner had messaged me about an issue she wanted to discuss and specifically asked that I arrive sober. Of course, she didn’t say anything about my having to leave that way. So, I stuck around and lightened the load I was carrying in my wallet. The issue was something customer-related, and I gave her my opinion, which was basically just to ignore it. Assholes abound, and it’s best not to take their criticisms personally, especially when they are unfounded like these seem to be.

I wasn’t quite ready to call it a night when I left Snackbar, so I went back up the highway to Whiskey Girl. Kim wasn’t around when I arrived, but Nikki volunteered to take her place beside me. I didn’t recognize her at first, but Nikki reminded me that I had bought her her first-ever lady drink when she started working several weeks ago. She’s become a pro now, attempting to order a double lady drink (the old bottled beer at 300 pesos trick doesn’t fly with me), but she took it alright when I told her make it a single or nothing. As I was finishing my beer and preparing to leave, Kim arrived. Sorry, hon, I’ll catch you next time.

Once outside, I was surprised that there were no trikes standing by. Hmm. I crossed the highway and visited Queen Victoria for a beer while I waited for transport. Been awhile since I’ve been in there, but at least one of the girls remembered me by name and was buzzing around like a thirsty mosquito. I was out of lady drink mode though, so I ignored her. One beer and out, and this time there was a trike waiting with a shout-out, “Going home, John?” Yep, it’s time.

Damage for the night:

• Lady drinks: 2340 pesos (yikes, that might be a record!)
• Food: 1880 pesos
• Beer: 995 pesos

Spending over a hundred bucks in one night is definitely a budget buster. Especially when I was asleep before 9 p.m.

Anyway, this month is data gathering on where the money goes. Next month I will explore any necessary lifestyle changes based on that information.

In the memories category, fellow Hasher Pubic Head sent this photo of me receiving a Hash vest three years ago to commemorate my 100th run with the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers.

Meanwhile, in news from outer space:

Just about a year ago
I set out on the road
Seeking my fame and fortune
Looking for a pot of gold
Well, things got bad
Then things got worse
I guess you know the tune
Oh Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again.

My 4th of July may not have been all that magical, but it did turn out to be rather musical. Here’s how things went down:

In the category of newsworthy, this event warrants a mention: my eighteen-year-old friend Mary is leaving for Manila this week.

She had asked me for some assistance with her transportation costs, so my plan was to drop off the money after I completed my grocery shopping. I was expecting her to meet me down on the highway near where she lives, but she didn’t respond to my messages or calls. I knew the general whereabouts of her place, so I set out to find her. This involved climbing some slippery steps up through a slum village. Near the top, I saw a couple of older women sitting outside and asked if they knew Mary. It turns out she lived next door. Mary was surprised to see me (her aunt had been using her phone) and maybe a little embarrassed that I was witness to the poverty in which she lived. Yeah, it was a little shocking, but I’ll give her credit for having the courage to take the actions required to build a better life for her and her child.

Mary needed to do some shopping in town, so she rode with me and my driver to Barretto. I treated her to a Sit-n-Bull lunch, gave her some cash, and wished her good luck.

MJ came by my place later in the afternoon to pick up her weekly allowance. Her sister-in-law was in labor and will have the baby at MJ’s house with the help of a midwife. And so the cycle of poverty continues unabated.

Meanwhile, I put the finishing touches on my holiday feast.

I took some leftovers to Swan and my new landlord. Swan messaged me that it was masarap (delicious), and that led to a very strange conversation. I alluded to a “woman in the neighborhood” I’d bought the beef cubes from, and Swan asked what she looked like. This led to a whole discussion in the third person, and Swan encouraged me to reveal my true feelings about this mystery woman. I may have taken it too far because, in the end, Swan indicated all she wanted with me was a working relationship. So, yeah, I may be taking on another helper, it seems. Swan has also started calling me “boss,” and I really don’t like it, but that’s where we are, apparently.

We have yet to discuss in any detail just what her job will involve–I just characterized it as taking care of me. I couldn’t help but think of the “brand new plan” I developed in 2017 when I hired Loraine as my caregiver. I wrote about it on a forum back then, and you can read the details there if you want. But essentially, the idea was that I’d hire someone to do everything a girlfriend/lover would do without having to deal with the emotional aspects of actual love. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it didn’t turn out the way I expected. In the end, I did fall in love with Loraine, and she broke my heart. So, I won’t be going down that road with Swan. What road lies ahead for us is unknown, but I’m not nearly as optimistic as I was before yesterday.

On my way into town at beer o’clock, I came upon some damage here in the neighborhood from Monday night’s storm:

Sloppy Joe’s was my first stop, and it was nice to see Chris and Jim already in attendance. Chris was controlling the music playlist, and before long, we started playing every patriotic song we could think of in honor of America’s birthday. My contributions included the America, Fuck Yeah! tune I featured on the blog yesterday, and some golden oldies like Battle of New Orleans, Ballad of the Alamo, and an old Army favorite, the We Are The Engineers. Let the good times roll!

After several beers, Jim said it was time for a change of scenery, and I suggested we hit Whiskey Girl. All hesitation was overcome when I mentioned that the bar featured a “buy one, get one” special until 8 p.m., and so off we went to take advantage.

Now, my personal agenda included meeting up with Kim again. She’s been messaging me daily to come see her, and I promised I’d drop in.

I made Snackbar my final stop of the night again. Lydell wasn’t working, but the owner was back in town, and I spent some quality time with her and another waitress in the VIP room, singling some karaoke. I was tasked with going first and went with an old Dolly Parton favorite I heard recently on Spotify. I followed up with my usual videoke standard, Crazy, by Patsy Cline.

Anyway, the past is the past and there is no going back, but it was good to find some closure for some long festering wounds. I’ll leave it at that.

Damages for the night out were 1080 pesos for beer and 1060 pesos for lady drinks. Hey, I spent more on me than the girls! Told ya I was a selfish bastard.

None of the Wednesday Walkers were up for a hike this morning, so I took an 8K solo stroll.

I ordered a roast beef dip with coleslaw to bring home for my lunch. While I was waiting, the Facebook memories feature popped up in my feed. And guess where I was eating and what I ate one year ago:

And there was also this happy memory from five years ago:

Today is Jee Yeun’s birthday. I sent her a hundred bucks and wished her happiness. Some wounds never heal.

I’m still legally married, but since she’s Korean and doesn’t live here, the adultery law does not apply to me. Provided I don’t mess with a married Filipina. I’m very wary of that and have managed to dodge a couple of potential bullets. This guy was not so fortunate.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep on keeping on with this life of leisure, lonely though it may be. I’ll be doing my feeding at Hideaway tonight and see where things go from there.

If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you each step of the way
And I will always love you
I will always love you

Bitter-sweet memories
That's all I am taking with me
Good-bye, please don't cry
We both know that I'm not
What you need
I will always love you
I will always love you

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope that you have all
That you ever dreamed of
And I wish you joy
And happiness
But above all of this
I wish you love
And I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you

Or saw it, anyway. Here’s how my Sunday in paradise went down.

When the hour arrived to switch into my nighttime mode, I headed into town. The first stop was Jewel Café to order food for the hungry girls at Hideaway.

I had a bit of a surprise when I saw this as I headed back up the highway:

I made It Doesn’t Matter my next stop, and was on my second beer (and first lady drink for Agnes) when I got a message from Lydell asking me to join her at Snackbar. Hmm, well, lots of places are closed on Sunday and it is on the way home, so why not? I told her I’d stop by later and she thanked me.

I was a little surprised that the ex was there, but she was her old sweet self, so I indulged her and Lydell in quenching their thirst for lady drinks. Later on, I got invited to the VIP room and played some of my favorite tunes as a DJ. I kept my emotions in check and was pleased that I didn’t let those old feelings invade my space or disrupt my new attitude. The past is the past and has no power over my present unless I allow it. So far, so good.

Logging in the money I’m spending has been an eye-opener already. It’s still early in the data-gathering phase, but I might be going a tad overboard. Granted the 2000 pesos ($40.) I paid to feed ten at Hideaway is as much an act of charity as anything, plus I get the added benefit of feeling good about myself. And in many ways, I look at lady drinks in a similar fashion. The trick for me to learn is going to be when is enough enough.

Last night’s damages:

• Lady drinks: 2,780
• Food: 2000
• Tips: 950 (that includes 500 for Joy)
• Beer: 914
• Transportation: 100

Well, I have my work cut out for me, but on the other hand, it is obvious where I’m overspending.

I woke up at three this morning and when I looked outside this is what I saw:

Later on, Swan sent me a photo of her morning coffee on what will one day soon be my living room patio:

And now it’s time to gear up for another Hash Monday. I’ve been breathing better and feeling better physically, so hopefully, I’ll enjoy today’s trail. I’m feeling optimistic, and the way I see things, life is good. Shit, I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.

I don’t think I mentioned that Swan has been earning money by being a distributor of meat products. Each week she posts a menu/price list, takes orders through Thursday, and delivers (on foot!) on Friday and Saturday. The meat I’ve purchased so far has been high quality (USDA ribeye and baby back ribs). It tends to be pricey, but when it comes to meat, it seems to be true that you get what you pay for.

In other news, I’m taking the first steps towards instituting some budget discipline. When I first moved here, I planned on living large with a monthly budget of 250,000 pesos (around $5000.) and depositing around a thousand bucks into savings each month to fund regular travel. My sloppy spending habits and inflation have combined to where I’m regularly moving money from my savings account to make up for monthly shortfalls. That’s not sustainable over the long haul, and now is the time to institute some self-discipline. What that will mean in practice remains to be seen, but I’ve downloaded a budget tracker app to monitor my spending. I’ll gather data for the month of July and then make some decisions on how and where to reduce spending.

So, yesterday was the first day of that process, and I wound up spending 68,000 pesos ($1230.). Yeah, that’s a lot, but there are unique monthly expenses that occur on the first, so not surprising. Here’s the breakdown of my spending:

• Rent: 35,000
• Helper salary: 21,000
• Meat purchase: 6,000
• Beer: 1,550
• Restaurant food: 1,380
• Lady drinks: 1,355
• Charity (Joy’s medicine): 1000
• Gifts (bought chocolate from the Belgian vendor): 500
• Transport (trike fare): 200

Now, it was Saturday night, and I wound up barhopping with some of the Hash guys, so those beer and LD numbers are a bit higher than normal. I ate at John’s place and then brought some takeout food to Hideaway, which isn’t normal. Anyway, there’s plenty of fat to be trimmed as needed, so I’ll have a better picture of my budget diet to come at the end of the month.

As mentioned above, I started my night on the town with some dinner at John’s. John was resting in his recliner when I arrived and is in recovery mode from a fall that injured his leg and separated his shoulder. Get well soon!

After Hideaway, I wandered back up the highway with no clear destination in mind. But then I figured it would be nice to see Jen for a cuddle in her new location at Bar Barretto.

When I departed Bar Barretto a couple of drinks later, I had it in mind to visit my new Whiskey Girl favorite, Kim. But as I passed by The Annex bar, I saw several Hashers seated at one of the outside tables, and so I joined them. Turns out, they were in the midst of a bar crawl, and when they were ready to move on, I went with them. Next stop: Wet Spot.

This is where I dropped some coin on lady drinks and chocolate. It was getting near my bedtime, but as a matter of pride, I didn’t want to be the first to bail. Jim called it a night shortly thereafter, and I wasn’t far behind.

And for any of you who were hoping for a jealous Filipina post, here you go:

So, I’ll be busting the budget with the Sunday Hideaway feeding later this evening, and then we’ll see what happens after that. My landlord messaged me today that she will be starting the house repairs tomorrow and sent me this photo of my future home:

Back with more tomorrow.

It’s strange sometimes how things just seem to fall together. While I was out walking and listening to a playlist Spotify chose for me, this Townes Van Zandt song I don’t recall ever hearing before comes on. Somehow it just resonated with me. And that led to some introspection and a realization that I seemed to have hit a sweet spot and found the proverbial happy place in my life. At least for the moment, given my history, I can’t count on it lasting, but damn, it has been a long time since I’ve been free of the burdens that come with regret. No, things are nowhere near perfect or even what I hoped for, but I’m at peace with what I have found in the here and now. That’s about as close to an epiphany as this muddled old brain will render.

Days, up and down they come
Like rain on a conga drum
Forget most, remember some
But don't turn none away.
Everything is not enough
And nothin' is too much to bear.
Where you been is good and gone
All you keep is the getting there.

Here are some of the things I remember about yesterday, starting with a wet street walk. My phone battery was gone, so the pictures from the walk are all Scott’s:

I had mentioned my Friday evening plans included a scheduled meet-up with my new favorite Whiskey Girl, Kim. WG doesn’t open until 5:00, so I killed some time at Sloppy Joe’s. It was nice hanging out with Chris and Jim, two other American expats enjoying their golden years in a retirement community that caters to the desire of us old fuckers for cold beer and hot women. As I made my way to the planned rendezvous with Kim, she sent a message saying she was going to be late for work. Hmm, she didn’t say how late but did say she was on her way. I know she lives in Olongapo City, so I figured thirty minutes max. Two beers later, I was feeling foolish for waiting, so I paid up and headed out.

I was a tad hungry and thought I’d grab a bite at Thumbstar. The kitchen is outside the front door, and as I arrived, I saw my old friend Rica was cooking. Perfect. Except, I didn’t want to go inside the bar, and all the seats outside were filled with girls who should have been inside the bar. Despite dropping several large hints and telling Rica I wouldn’t stay if I couldn’t eat outside, no one made any effort to accommodate my desires. So I left with an empty stomach.

Well, the missed connection with Kim and the rude treatment at Thumbstar had soured my mood somewhat. I decided my crew at Cheap Charlies would be glad to cheer me up, so I climbed those stairs and took my regular seat overlooking the highway. Nerissa “greeted” me by saying she had seen me with “my date” at Central Park on Thursday and that was my last straw. I lit into her saying I wasn’t with a date, I was comforting a friend who had lost someone dear to her. And why would should you care who I was with anyway, you are just someone I know from the bar, not my girlfriend. Yeah, it was a bit harsh and my tone was angry. I immediately felt bad, apologized, and bought a round of drinks. The damage was done and the buzz was killed, though.

Sitting there I recalled that living without drama is a proactive effort. If I let the little shit disappointments trigger me, happiness will remain elusive. And I let it all go. Oh, I’ll be back at Whiskey Girl one of these days and I’ll be my usual sweet self with Kim. The food at Thumbstar is okay, but I have better options. If Nerissa wants to play the part of a jealous Filipina, she can find someone else to buy her drinks. I just don’t care. And like magic, I was ready to enjoy the rest of my Friday out on the town.

I crossed the highway and made my last stand at The Green Room. My table was soon surrounded by the gals I know there–Angie from the Hash, Chu, my regular waitress, the little girl who does my back rub, and Mary, the woman I first met when I was staying at the Arizona Resort in 2010. I ordered a round of drinks for them all and had Chu fetch a menu from Sit-n-Bull. I had a club sandwich, and the girls had pancit.

So, what could have been a disappointing evening turned out just fine. I can’t control the behavior of others, but I’m the boss of how I react to it.

Them holes are all that's real.
Some fall on you like a storm,
Sometimes you dig your own.
The choice is yours to make,
Time is yours to take;
Some sail upon/dive into the sea,
Some toil upon the stone.

So, I believe I mentioned becoming Facebook friends with Mama Onenia (aka Olivia) and her daughter, Jennifer, the “first family” up on the My Bitch mountain trail. The “conversations” have pretty much been limited to an exchange of “good mornings,” but I was surprised to hear from Jennifer the other day asking if I had an old phone she could use. Apparently, she’s been borrowing her mother’s when she needs to communicate. Well, I dug through a drawer and found this beauty I used back in Korea for a couple of years before I moved here (2015-2017 or so).

So, naturally, I wanted to reset the phone and delete my old apps, but before doing so, I went in and saved most of those old pictures. Some brought back painful memories, others were scenic reminders of the beauty of Korea, and most were about my old darting life. I’ll slap some of the better ones up here on the blog in the coming days, but today the focus will be on the ex-girlfriends (from the Philippines) I had during my final years in The Land of the Morning Calm.

This next picture stung when I saw it. Sohee and I were never more than friends, but she was a special friend all the same.

So with the phone charged and ready to go, it meant taking a solitary walk on the My Bitch trail this morning. I still get a little paranoid up in the hills on my own, imagining all the things that could potentially go wrong, but then again, if I have balls enough to cross the National Highway on a daily basis, especially after a few beers, hiking the Bitch trail is comparatively safe. Just watch your step, some of those drop-offs would be bone crushing.

After dropping off the phone, my path took me past my other mountain friend, MJ’s place.

And that’s where things stand with me as of now. Whatever happens next is all part of the adventure. It’s Saturday night, so I’m sure I’ll be spending some time with my true love.

To live is to fly
Low and high,
So shake the dust off of your wings
And the sleep out of your eyes;
Shake the dust off of your wings
And the tears out of your eyes.