A mostly urban adventure for the Wednesday Walkers yesterday. Our trek took us through the backstreets of Matain, and then along the beachside clutter of Calapacuan. We don’t often venture out this way and I rather enjoyed it. We did do one hill climb (well, the die-hards in the group did two) and it was a nice 6K hike ending at the food place.
That would be me and the proprietress…
More photos from the hike at the end of this post.
Speaking of Pamela, here’s an update of sorts for those of you who have been following along on our quest to share a true and lasting love. I mentioned yesterday that I was hoping she’d join me at darts (we won 8-5 despite my playing like shit) and have dinner afterward. When the match was complete I messaged her and asked if she was coming. She responded that she couldn’t get away from her business. I crossed the street and sulked over a beer at Johan’s, then said “fuck it” and caught a trike to see her in Barretto.
When I arrived, Pamela was sitting alone at a table inside. That was a relief! I joined her and she told me that the Dick had been there and left to go see a bar manager friend down the street. We talked a bit and then the Dick returned and sat at the counter outside. A little later, Pamela handed me a note that said “I go first, meet at Papagayo”, a restaurant a good bit up the highway. That sounded fine to me, but I wasn’t sure what the stealth was all about. Well, yeah, I had my suspicions. Anyway, I paid for my beer, took a leak, and headed up the road. About a block away I ran into Pamela just as she was about to get in a trike, so I hopped in with her.
I’ve only eaten at Papagayo once or twice since moving here. Pamela says they have the best Mexican food in town. She particularly enjoys the burritos. It’s a beachside resort, very nicely appointed, and we had a sweet outdoor table in the nearly empty restaurant.
Our dinner view.
I was just happy to be able to spend some time together and appreciated her getting away from work. It wasn’t all pleasant though. Pamela doesn’t always appreciate my sense of humor. That afternoon at her place I had teasingly equated what she does at her work as being a GRO (guest relations officer). Well, that’s a term some of the bars use for their female staff and she found it offensive. I assured her that no offense was intended and she let it go, but I’m going to need to remember to watch what I say to her.
Neither of us wound up getting the burrito, she ordered clams and I got a beef enchilada.
It was good, but nothing special.
After dinner, I had the trike drop her back off at work and I went home. Pamela came over around midnight. Told me Dick was back to his old self. In what way, I asked. She said, he asked me to go home with him, told me he wanted me to have his baby, said he would marry me, and that when he died he would leave everything to me. For some reason, that pissed me off. I angrily told her that if she didn’t deal with the inappropriate remarks he was making to MY girlfriend, I would deal with it my own way, even if it resulted in violence. She seemed taken aback by my response. She reassured me again that she only saw him as a friend, had no interest in anything more, and that she would never be unfaithful to me. I calmed down, but damn, I’m not sure how long I can deal with that kind of drama.
I made her my version of a burrito for breakfast. She rightly noted that it was more like a soft taco. It’s a tortilla with seasoned ground beef, tomato, lettuce, green onion, cheese, and salsa. Pearl added sour cream to hers (damn, why didn’t I think of that?) and deemed it delicious.
After breakfast, I walked her to her food place and I did my morning hike. She had asked me to stop back after I finished and so I did. When I arrived, she was sitting next to the Dick at the outside counter. At first, I was pissed again and started to just walk on. Then I decided I wasn’t going to make it that easy, so I went in and sat down. Pamela had me move my stool next to her and gave me a cup of coffee and her full attention. Alright, take that Dick! To be fair, Dick did greet me and did engage me in a little generic conversation. Pamela promised to meet up with me later in the day today. I finished my coffee and left them there.
You know, if I really thought Dick would be better for her than I am, I wouldn’t hesitate to let her go. I’m not sure that Pamela’s professions of having no interest in him are true, but, I think she is sincere in believing that’s the case. If you know what I mean. I’m still having my own thoughts about my old life and wondering if this love thing is worth all these emotions it seems to generate.
I’ll give it some more time and see what happens next.
To the photos from the hike then:
Walking unfamiliar streets was a nice change of pace.Highway traffic.The backstreets of Matain.The main drag.Almost bayside.On the beach.Boat park.A narrow passageway…Back on the pristine beach…A yacht at anchor.A veggie vendor hard at work.Living on the beach.Friendly locals.Everybody seems to love my cookies!A Wal-Mart on wheels…More beach and boatsSnake Island.More smiling kids…Handsome hikers.Back on the highway.Headed for the hills.Pausing for our traditional group shot.Let the climbing begin.The getting down was harder than the up this time.But we made it down with only a couple of cuts and bruises…right, Scott?Barangay workers clearing a lot. That’s Black Rock in the background.Most of the group made that climb, but I took a pass.
And that was the way it went down.
Stay tuned for the further adventures that are sure to come!
Maybe so, but I’m a selfish bastard. And if I care, I sure as hell ain’t gonna share. Lately, I’m thinking that caring is a curse and that refusing to share my heart with another is the wisest course of action. Yeah, I’m riding that fence again. Stick around to the end of this post and I’ll try to provide some insights into my thinking.
But first, there’s yesterday’s Hash to catch up on. Most of the feedback was very positive–people actually did enjoy our trail. It had the right mix of ups and downs, some new terrain, and was about the right distance for most of the kennel. The only real complaint was that there was a couple of places where the trail markings were unclear. That’s part of the problem with marking the trail a day ahead of time; traffic, wind, and vandals can obliterate the powder. I’ll use more shredded paper next time.
Here are a few pictures from the trail:
Hare’s at work. Where the pavement meets the grass…Walk this way!I carried a stick of chalk and a bag of shredded paper.Blow My Pipe handled the powder and fended off the big dogs…Cum In My Basement calling it in from the trail.Steppin’ it up!On-On!“Over the river and through the woods…”On-DownThrough the grass and back to the Alta Vista community center for our On-Home rituals…Which included celebrating three birthdays Hash-style. Enjoy your cake guys!Pubic Head is looking a little paler than usual.The Alta Vista community center features some nice views. This might be my favorite photo of Easter Mountain.It was a short walk home for me at the conclusion of the Hash. I was able to enjoy some of the neighborhood Christmas decorations.
Via Facebook memories, I was reminded that five years ago I was still hard at work in the service of my Uncle Sam.
Keeping an eye on things in the office.
I got a message this morning from Ron, the owner of Sit-n-Bull. He’s busy cleaning out the remaining stuff in the old restaurant location and he found a set of darts. Said they were mine for free if I wanted them. Well, I’ve been trying to get xxxx to play with me (shuddup, you know what I mean!) so I hoofed it on over.
Turns out they were a high-quality brand new set. 22 grams (I currently throw 23-gram darts) so I’m thinking I’ll try them out at tonight’s tourney.
Had a nice chat with Ron, then decided to get me some lunch while I was out. The new Sit-n-Bowl is only a couple of blocks away, so naturally, I returned Ron’s generosity by eating at his place. I had wanted to try his new “El Padre” beef burrito on Sunday but was informed that they were out of tortillas. When I walked in today my waitress asked if I still wanted an El Padre. Hell yes!
I was surprised at how big and thick it was. Finding shredded beef in Mexican food in these parts is rare, indeed. But that cream cheese really made the taste memorable.
When I took a gander at Ron’s homemade bakery products, I was happy to see some fresh carrot cake in stock. How could I refuse?
I brought it home to eat though,that burrito left me stuffed.
The waitresses asked if I would buy them a slice of carrot cake to share and I of course agreed. Sharing is caring, after all.
I’m thinking about trying this recipe:
Looks easy enough.
Alright, now a brief update on my relationship.
If you’ve been following along lately, I’m not happy about some Dick actively courting my girlfriend. Sunday evening I had invited xxxxx to dinner but she was “too busy” at work. When I got to her place a couple of hours later, she was busy having an Apple beer with Dick. She did at least give me a warm greeting, which was an improvement over previous visits when she was engaged in convo with Dick. After a while, Dick went next door to sing videoke with xxxxx’s mother. That may be cause for concern as well. Getting mom on his side would be a pretty big coup in this culture. While he was gone, xxxxx warmed up and we had a nice time together. Then Dick was back and so was xxxx’s cold shoulder. I was drunk and pissed, so I said goodnight and left.
Didn’t hear from her for most of the day, but we finally had a “talk” on messenger in the afternoon. I confronted her about how she made me feel when that Dick was around and she continued to say they were just “good friends”. I actually don’t have any reason to doubt that and from what I’ve seen I don’t think he’s her type at all. But my point was she doesn’t act like my girlfriend whenever he’s around. Her position is that he is a good customer, brings in a lot of his friends, and she sees no reason to antagonize him. I think that equates to putting his feelings ahead of mine and I don’t like it.
So, I’ve got some things to think through here. I’m not the jealous type, I mean, if she thinks she’d be happier with someone else, then by all means she should go for it. But I’m not willing to sit there and be subjected to watching this guy court the woman I think I love right in front of my face.
More and more I find myself asking if this relationship is really worth it. Looking back on those carefree days of emptiness and meaninglessness seems almost liberating somehow. No, I’m not giving up yet. But my tolerance level is close to being maxed out. I will definitely be spending less time at xxxx’s place of business. If she can’t free herself up to spend time with me more frequently, I guess I’ll have my answer.
It was weird this afternoon as I started work on this post. I try and do a search to make sure I haven’t used the same title before. And looking at some of the posts that search brought up was a little surprising. There was this post from August about my tentative early steps with Jessel that was eerily similar to some of my current emotions. Lots of differences too–xxxxx and I have traveled much further down the road. I was in love with my fantasy of Jessel, I’m currently dealing with the reality of who xxxx truly is. As Kevin Kim pointed out in a comment on an earlier post, trying to change someone into something you find more desirable is most often a fool’s quest. Learn to love them for what they are, not for what you want them to be. I get that.
And then I came across this post from over sixteen years ago. I don’t even recall what it was that triggered me, but it must have been related to the beginning of the end of my third marriage. Anyway, I had discovered Kevin’s blog by then, and he had written an Easter post that really resonated with me during that troubled time in my life. I quoted it extensively all those years ago and I deem it worthy to do so again here:
Since I and a few people I know are all going through a painful period, each of us for various reasons, I thought it might be good to write about “putting it down.”
In Zen Buddhism, the maxim is “don’t make anything.” Your mind is so often the source of your troubles. You choose to face the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune either negatively or positively. Often, at the beginning of a troublesome period in your life, it is difficult to realize how responsible you are for your own choices. It’s easier to shift blame to your surroundings. But ultimately, the healthiest route out of the forest of troubles is to start by looking in a mirror. Behold what’s actually there; don’t needlessly manufacture problems for yourself and others.
I’m not a scriptural literalist, so I don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead. But the story of the passion and resurrection nevertheless holds power for me, because it’s a story about a man who put everything down, including his own life, for the sake of love. How many of us can claim to be ready and willing to do something like that? Not many, I suspect.
Most of us, like little children, cling desperately to our cherished notions, preconceptions, and delusions, unwilling to countenance truth and change. We face the world with fear, and create clever rationales for our spiritual cowardice. In a crisis period, this instinct intensifies. The ego swells to enormous size– everything is about getting hurt, everything is about me, me, me. The world doesn’t understand my pain, and only I am in pain!
I’ve felt like that before. I’ve looked out at a street full of people and wondered why they didn’t see my agony, which was plain as day to me. The world kept right on turning, resisting my egocentric interpretation of it.
And there’s a lesson in that. Life is change, ceaseless change. All we have is this moment. If we try to keep the past with us, we merely create more suffering for ourselves. If we try to hold on to our anger, or our hurt, or whatever it is we’re feeling, we poison ourselves.
It’s better simply to put it all down.
People need time to do this. It can’t be done immediately. If, for example, you’ve just experienced a family tragedy, you can’t be expected to act like the Taoist writer Chuang-tzu, banging on pots and celebrating your wife’s death. No; most of us need time to mourn, grieve, recover. But after that period, we should be ready and willing to move on with our lives, to follow the constant flow of the river.
You can’t see the new life of Easter if you’re always looking backward. Easter points simultaneously to the present and to the future, to hope and happiness and fulfillment. Think positively. Embrace goodness where you find it. Actively seek the good, don’t wait passively for it.
Maybe I’m just a slow learner, but I’m doing better than I was all those years ago. And if the time indeed comes again to “put it down”, I think I’ll move on without too much difficulty. With time comes perspective. I can live a blessed life with or without love. I know that now.
A Hash Monday with the twist of my participation as one of the Hares. We marked the trail yesterday morning so that freed me to do a Baloy Beach hike today. The Hash trail is around 7K and probably a bit more challenging than folks will be expecting from us aged Hares. I briefly considered doing the trail again with the Hashers, but I’m not feeling up to it. Hence my beach walk.
Here are a few photos to give you a glimpse into what passes for my so-called life. I ain’t complaining, it could always be worse. And might be soon if I ain’t careful. More on that in another post.
It’s not the life for me, but I really admire this guy for making the most of what he has. He’s built a little farm up here on the hilltop.The view from one of the high points of our trail.My fellow Hares with three deceased posts.My favorite mountain woman, Olivia, hard at work as usual.The end of the trail at Alta Vista community center, our On-Home for today’s Hash.
And now for the Baloy walk:
The view from Alta Vista.The Lagoon Resort on Baloy. I’ll be back here on Wednesday for dart league. Lagoon sponsors our team.On the beach looking towards Subic.And the view towards Olongapo.No idea what this is all about, but I appreciate the sentiment.The shortcut path leading to my house.
Feel free to Relive the walk here:
I’m not sure what’s going to happen next in my love life, but this isn’t too far-fetched:
Still funny though.
Alright, more updates tomorrow. Thanks for stopping by!
Ah, Hot Zone. One of the better go-go bars in Barretto. I don’t hang out here nearly as much as I used to in the old days. In fact, my first visit to the Zone was as a tourist in its former location on the other side of the highway. I’m also well acquainted with the owner, Jay. He was formerly the former Grand Master of the Subic Bay Hash. Jay served in the United States Marine Corps and he runs a well-disciplined bar. That includes keeping the girls in fit shape–he consistently has one of the best lineups in town. If you are looking for a hottie for the night, you’ll likely find her here.
It is by no means a large bar, but the coziness of the place adds to its appeal.
See that pole on the dance stage? The dancing girls enter the room by sliding down that pole. And in the old days before dancing on stage was banned, Hot Zone featured showcase pole dancers and also girls performing dance routines with big old boa constrictors. Even the regular dances were well-organized and you rarely saw the girls standing around or doing a lazy shuffle instead of dancing. So, even though I’m not really a fan of the go-go/girly bar format, I used to really enjoy my visits to Hot Zone.
Alas, these days the only performers on stage are the owner’s dogs.The former dancers are all “waitresses” now. They occasionally will dance in place, as much out of boredom as anything I reckon.
I counted at least a dozen girls in the bar on an early Sunday evening. It was just me and one other customer. The other guy was spending some money on the girls, I didn’t even purchase a lady drink. To their credit, none of the girls harassed me about buying them a drink which is something I always appreciate.
I actually considered buying this cutie a drink in appreciation for the panty shot, but I could never achieve eye contact with her. Ah well.The bar does feature some non-girl entertainment. This electronic dartboard is the only one I’ve seen in Barretto. Back in the day,I’d see customers and girls playing for fun. Heh, maybe it was winner take all…
My beers were 110 pesos each, which is the highest price I’ve paid but also pretty standard for this type of bar. The overhead for all those beauties is not cheap I’m sure. The mamasan was the only person I recognized from the old days when I was a semi-regular here. She wasn’t pleased with me taking photos in the bar, something that is technically not allowed. She didn’t make a big deal about it but told me the bar had been raided previously based on photos and videos taken in the bar and shared on social media. I promised I wouldn’t post anything on Facebook and I don’t think my little-read blog constitutes any threat. Besides, I witnessed nothing inappropriate or in violation of Covid prevention protocols taking place in the bar.
A bar like Hot Zone is really geared towards big-spending tourists.Most expats are unlikely to “ring the bell” for 5000 pesos ($100) to buy all the girls a lady drink. I had to ask the mamasan what was meant by “blow a load”. Alas, it wasn’t what I was hoping for. Twenty bucks to throw a bucket of balls and watch the girls scramble to grab as many as possible (each ball has a monetary value to it). Again, tourist attractions.
So, that’s the low-down on Hot Zone. A good bar that will be better again when it can have dancers performing for tourists. In the meantime, here’s wishing them all the best. And thanks for the memories.
My morning view. Just so you can see things my way.
I did my Hare duties this morning, marking tomorrow’s Hash trail with my fellow hares, Pubic Head, and Blow My Pipe. The hike comes in at just under 7K with two decent climbs. I’m pretty pleased with the effort, might even be the best trail ever! Or at least the best this week.
Yesterday afternoon I enjoyed some quality time with xxxx. Had my driver drop us off in SBMA (the old Navy base) and we did a little walkabout on the waterfront.
We started out at The Lighthouse hotel and hiked through the restaurant district to pick a place for our dinner.taking in the view from the end of a jetty.This is what she saw.A statue in the park. I like the short one.And yeah, she’s being a good sheep and wearing her mask as required by the authorities, even outside. SBMA has very Nazi-like enforcement rules that have no impact on the spread of Covid. Just more government bullshit.We had a blast anyway.Just like a couple of tourists.The sun goddess. Or so it would appear.The ferries that used to transport folks out to Grande Island. The island has not as yet reopened.Only in the Philippines.
Anyway, it was a pleasant way to spend some time together. I was tempted by Texas Joe’s, one of my favorites, and it turns out likes it too. The parking lot was overflowing though, and by the time we eliminated other options, we were back where we started at The Lighthouse. So we decided to give it a try.
I had the burger which was okay, but not worth the 450 pesos it cost me.
After dinner, we went to the bar next where I had a couple of more beers. xxxx doesn’t really drink beer, but she will sip at a low-alcohol flavored brew called San Miguel Apple. By sip, I mean that after I had consumed two full beers, xxxx still had a half bottle of Apple to go. That’s okay, I’ll try to drink enough for the both of us if need be.
Took a taxi back to Barretto and sat on the roof of Barcelona enjoying the evening views while replaying our beer drinking ways. We talked some more about future adventures and I’ll endeavor to do better advance planning to make them come true. xxxx wants to visit La Union (about three hours north) one day soon. It was a good day overall.
xxxx needed to go back to her food place for a bit before calling it a night. The plan was for me to order some takeout and we’d eat it at my place watching some TV together. Well, the place was crowded and my order was at the back of the queue, so it took a while. xxxx was busy consulting with her mother while I waited for my food. And then some Dick came in and our plans were foiled.
I guess he’s figured out that his fantasy girl is my reality and he’s not a happy camper. xxxx told me she was staying behind to deal with him and she’d join me later. I was pissed but chose retreat over future regret. We’ll see how that works out for me.
xxxx did arrive an hour or so later and we slept in each other’s arms. That was my happy ending to the day.
I’ve decided I’m not giving up on Pam. She’s worth fighting for.
Yeah, it’s been a crazy ride so far and yesterday was yet another example of that fact. I thought we were going to dinner, so I went by her place around 4:00 p.m. to make sure she was going to be free to leave. Once again, Pam was sitting at the table with [that guy]* and several others. I also observed that she was finishing what appeared to be a club sandwich. So much for dinner, I thought to myself. Well, I had already resolved to not be intimidated by a Brit trying to steal away “my” girl, so I pulled up a stool at the counter with my back to the gathering at the table and ordered a beer. Not a word of greeting or acknowledgment of my presence from Pam. After a few minutes, Pam and [that guy] went inside and sat down together at a table. Alright, I had seen enough. I went inside, paid for my beer, and as I was leaving [that guy] engaged me in some conversation about an incident in Angeles where a friend of his had been beaten by the police. I politely listened and responded, said goodnight, and headed out the door. I was pretty numb at this point.
Pam followed me out and showed me a message on her phone concerning some legal issues she is facing over control of her business. She said [that guy] had some connections and she didn’t want to discuss the issues she’s dealing with outside in front of the others. Whatever. Pam wasn’t free to join me for dinner and so I left not knowing what to think, but I knew I was very unhappy about what I was feeling.
Went to Mango’s and took up my beachside stool drank some beer and ordered up some food.
It wasn’t the meal I had in mind when I expected to dine with Pam, but the chicken fingers hit the empty spot in my belly just fine anyway.
After a couple of beers, I decided a walk on the beach was in order.
Life’s a beach.The sun was going down and I was still way too sober to ease my troubled mind.
So, I decided a visit to It Doesn’t Matter was in order. Me plying Roan and another waitress with lady drinks was a nice enough distraction. After a while, I decided a change of scenery was in order, so I paid a visit to Cheap Charlies. I was surprised to see the place so busy. But Alma, my favorite there, found me a nice seat upfront with the highway view I prefer. More drinking and buying lady drinks ensued.
I had periodically been messaging Pam but she was mostly unresponsive. She did acknowledge that [that guy] was still at the bar. Well, in that case, I wasn’t going back so I caught a trike home instead. I was sound asleep at 11:30 when my phone rang. It was Pam telling me she was coming over. Okay then.
After she arrived, I went back to bed. She joined me. And we had a nice long talk before we fell asleep. And another long talk this morning. She convinced me that [that guy] is no threat to me, and while acknowledging he makes nearly constant advances, she has no intention of succumbing to his desires. He is a customer first and foremost, and one that perhaps will have some value in resolving her current situation with the landlord of her business. I told her that I trust her and have no interest in creating additional difficulties or stress in her life.
We also talked about ways we could have more success at spending time together. We do well when we are sharing adventures or doing things we both enjoy. So, we’ll see if we can work out a way to make that happen more often.
So, just when I was about to give up, Pam pulled me back in. She really is amazing in many ways and very much unlike the other women I have met here. I’m not going to quit unless and until I find that she is unworthy of my love and trust. We still need to improve our communication skills with each other, but based on our recent conversations I think we can make that happen.
*I am no longer comfortable using [that guy’s] name in these posts. It is a small town I’m living in, he’s lived here a lot longer, and he is well known throughout the community. He also apparently has friends in high places and I don’t need that kind of trouble in my life either.
Look at us baby, up all night
Tearing our love apart
Aren't we the same two people
Who lived through years in the dark?
Every time I try to walk away
Something makes me turn around and stay
And I can't tell you why
When we get crazy
It just ain't right
(try to keep your head, little girl)
Girl, I get lonely, too
You don't have to worry
Just hold on tight
(don't get caught in your little world)
'Cause I love you
Nothing's wrong as far as I can see
We make it harder than it has to be
And I can't tell you why
No, baby, I can't tell you why
I can't tell you why
Every time I try to walk away
Something makes me turn around and stay
And I can't tell you why
A challenging morning with the Wednesday Walkers group yesterday. We did Black Rock, but instead of the usual climb to the first outcropping, we hiked the entire ridgeline. I’d only done that once before but from the opposite direction. What was a crazy downhill then became a rock climbing event this time around. I think more than one of us was thinking “never again” before it was done. There were a few falls along the way for some members of our group, but fortunately no injuries. Hurt pride doesn’t count.
To the pictures then:
The Black Rock Mountain ridgeline doesn’t look so hard from the satellite viewpoiint.Gathering up at our usual starting point–the 7/11 on Baloy Road.Heading down the National Highway for Subic…The up the GOVIC highwayThis was the easy partThis wasn’t so easyMuch harder than it appearsPretty much an ass-kicker, right Scott?RecuperationThe view from hereJim the mountain manThe views made the climb worth it. Almost.Seeing eye-to-eye with Easter mountain.The hardest part is over, but we ain’t done yet.A group shot from the highest point on the day.Onward and downwardLet’s bungle in the jungle…R&R before the final push down.Almost downCookie time! I think the kids were scared of me and hiding…I can’t bear to look!Almost done.Pushing our way up into Alta Vista.
It was something different. Perhaps a once-in-a-lifetime excursion. Of course, with my fading memory, I may not know any better next time.
After the hike, I had to get ready for dart league. We won our match 11-2 and the team captain of our opponent was whining about us taking it “too seriously”. I bit my lip, but my thought was if you ain’t gonna play to win, why play at all? Punk.
Went to Pearl’s place after darts. I haven’t given up quite yet. She even came to see me at 0100 after closing. It was nice to have her with me again. We’ll see how long it lasts.
One of those bars I walk past every day but very rarely visit.
UPDATE: I visited again last night, and nothing much has changed from my earlier review. Well, I guess one big difference is now they have a shwarma kitchen on the patio out front. I’ve been meaning to try it but haven’t gotten around to it yet. To my surprise, the cook is an old friend of mine, Rica. Haven’t seen her since the early days of the scamdemic. She is locally known for her cooking expertise, so I’m sure the food out front will be excellent. I’ll be trying it soon.
Another difference was I was here at 9:00 p.m. on a Friday night, so it had more of a party vibe going on. Still lots of gals to choose from, many of them scantily clad. Actually, you don’t have to choose them; they’ll come looking for you. I don’t much care for “buy me a drink” aggression, but they backed off once I made it clear I wasn’t looking for company. As a said in the first review, if you like the girly bar scene, Thumbstar will fulfill your needs nicely.
Thumbstar is one of the most popular girly bars in town, at least judging by the chatter on some of the local forums I read. I’ve only been inside three or four times total, and yesterday’s visit was my first in well over a year. I can’t really say for sure why that is. Well, the last time I went with some Hashers and I guess we weren’t appreciated, but that’s a little fuzzy. The manager has been alleged to be a bit of a dick, but I have no first-hand knowledge of that either. He did wind up marrying the girl I was crushing on a couple of years ago.
Oh, Heidi. Another missed opportunity.
Coincidentally, it was Heidi who greeted me when I arrived. Honestly, I barely recognized her. I took a seat in the corner as far from the bar as possible.
As seen from my vantage point.
It is one of the larger bars in town, very well appointed, clean and comfortable. In fact, I’d have to say it is the nicest appearing bar I’ve reviewed thus far. I was there before 4:00 p.m. and there were only a couple of customers near the bar playing pool.
Lots of bored bargirls sitting around waiting for customers.
Speaking of bargirls, as I was sitting by my lonesome, three young ladies, well, two young ladies and a forty-year-old, came and joined me. That’s the way it works in a lot of bars, although I prefer to do the picking and inviting, but whatever. I was only staying for a couple of beers anyway. We chatted some and then the waitress came by and asked me if I wanted to buy the girls drinks. Again, pretty standard procedure, although I’m usually only going to buy one girl a drink. I made an exception and bought them all a single lady drink (160 pesos each). You need to be careful and specify single, otherwise, they will bring a bottled beer for 300 pesos.
My drinking companions. I liked the one on my left the best.
My beers were 90 pesos, but they have a promo where you get your second beer free, so that reduces the price some. They also have a nice pool table in the back for those who are inclined to play.
Bottom line, I enjoyed my visit. Girly bars are not really my thing so it is doubtful I’ll be a regular customer any time soon. That said, this bar appears to be well-run and has a good selection of ladies to choose from. I didn’t ask if “take-out” is available, but I assume it is.
I think when I finish reviewing all the bars, I may do rankings based on bar type. Of course, my ratings are all subjective and based on my personal preferences. Thumbstar won’t rank high on my overall list because it is not my kind of place. I’m sure for others it’s the best bar in town.
That pretty much sums up yesterday’s Hash trail. Leech My Nuggets was the Hare and he did not disappoint, providing a challenging and well-marked path for his fellow Hashers to follow. In an unusual twist, Leech did the hike with the Hash group despite having done the Hare duties earlier in the day. Well played!
Some photos from the adventure:
The trail as the Hare intended. Our “sane” group did a shortcut around the climb at the end, which lengthed our walk but avoided another grueling up.Heading out from our starting point and On-Home finish, Hunter Jo Inn.On-On! The first part of the trail was a mostly uphill stroll through a neighborhood.Looks like someone lost their bra…maybe we should look for her…Steppin’ down…Then steppin’ up.And up.Tired yet?And then the real fun began. Yeah, it was as steep as it appears.Rockin’ it!For a big guy, 18 Kilo Ass moves out well on trail.There he goes now. That’s his as yet unnamed girlfriend providing the motivation.Summit achieved. That’s an uling (charcoal) making set-up. Lots of folks still cook with fire in these parts.After that, things started going downhill.Slowly for me. What’s Up Doc and Cum In My Basement waiting patiently for me to catch up.7-11 Sucker and Pecker Checker were moving out though. They passed me here despite my 30-minute head start.I’m coming! I’m coming!Henry David Thoreau would be pleased.Pigs in a poke.A Thanksgiving survivor.Conversing with the natives.Cookie recipients. I was very surprised to see the kid on the right wearing a Corona Hash (from Angeles City) shirt. How it came to him out here in the backwoods of Subic is a mystery.A view from on high.As slow as I was going down, I still had to wait at the bottom for a couple of other slowpokes. Yeah, I’m talking about you Pubic Head and ISD.One of these things is not like the others…On the road again…Shit creek.A bridge over troubled waters.Speaking of bridges, this rickety little thing was our last water crossing of the day.Naturally, all eyes were on 18 Kilo Ass as he made the perilous crossing, including the old woman in the background. Impressive how he is using his walking stick to transfer some of his upper body weight to the handrails. It worked, and both he and the bridge survived!The final obstacle between us and some refreshing cold beverages.On-Home at last!The view from Hunter Jo Inn.Leech My Nuggets got the Hashit in recognition of his showing us all up by doing the trail twice and still being the first one back.And the sun went down on another Hash Monday.
Continuing on with the soap opera (or is it K-drama?) that is my love life, I *think* Pearl and I have reconciled. I had continued some sporadic message exchanges with Pearl throughout the afternoon and early evening. I was riding an emotional roller coaster, moving from “I’m better off without her” to “she’s worth fighting for” depending on the tone of her responses. In between my texting sessions, I attended a birthday gathering for the owner of Alley Cats, contributing a batch of my famous brownies to the potluck table.
After the party, I moved on to It Doesn’t Matter, where I once again enjoyed the banter and repartee with Roan. At that point, I was thinking that my old bar life was going to be my new future and I was reconciling myself to the fact that while empty, the lifestyle was relatively painless. Meanwhile, the messages with Pearl had devolved to the “I guess this is goodbye, then” stage. I sent her this as my parting words:
Given the tone of our preceding conversation, I was surprised when I received this response from her:
I miss you and I want you here with me
Now you tell me! I said goodnight to Roan and walked up the highway to visit Pearl at her place. We had the conversation we should have had from the beginning. I talked about her jealousy issues and noted the hypocrisy of her own actions, pointing out that had I taken a girl to see a live band in a bar, she would have been outraged. Perhaps even justifiably so. Certainly, my getting an innocuous message I didn’t even answer pales in comparison. She didn’t deny that but pointed out I had hurt her when I walked away from her earlier, and that she only stayed at the bar with [that guy] for a few minutes. Whatever. I told her I’m not jealous of [that guy] and if he is better for you than I am, she should go for it. Don’t settle for less than the best.
We talked about the triggering event that led us to this point–from her perspective me walking away, and from mine her not responding to multiple messages I’d sent. It really all came down to a misunderstanding and miscommunication. She explained that she had been very busy all that afternoon and for the most part didn’t even have access to her phone. I acknowledged that I was in a grumpy mood when I walked away to go to dinner. I wanted her to join me but didn’t explicitly ask her to do so leading her to misinterpret what my leaving meant. Yeah, ain’t love grand?
Anyway, we resolved to work harder on the issues this incident brought out–I’ll talk rather than walk and she will try and understand that women I know from the bars are no threat to her or our relationship. We’ll see how that works out.
I received some amazing comments on my previous post regarding this incident, and I wanted to share some of those insights and respond to some of the suggestions.
BW says: She should know u better first so she can trust u…keep trying to let her know that u never serious with anybody else
Yeah, we had a long talk last night about my interactions with bargirls. I explained that the girls work for drink commissions and I buy drinks sometimes to help them out. That doesn’t mean I want a relationship with them. I asked if she wanted to read all my messages or for me to delete all my female contacts, she said of course not and acknowledged that she has guy friends too. Hopefully, once she knows I have no intention of straying she’ll come to feel more trusting.
From Kevin Kim:
It’s unfair to expect Pearl to be the one Filipina who breaks the mold and doesn’t act Filipina. On the other hand, based on your account of the day in question, she does strike me as being oversensitive.
Yeah, my hatred of jealousy may be a little irrational too. Pearl is atypical in many ways, but yes, her thinking in terms of jealousy is true to form for Filipinas. We did have a rational discussion about trust issues so hopefully, that’s progress.
Ask your happily married friends whether their Pinay wives started off as insanely jealous people back when they were merely dating, and ask further what they, the guys, did to face down that jealousy.
Well, I haven’t asked yet, but the guys I know in LTRs with Filipinas still have to deal with the jealousy issues. In fact, it may even worsen over time. Now, I can’t say that some of these folks haven’t done things that may warrant jealousy from their significant others…
If I thought there was hope in talking this out and figuring out how to deal with the problem together, I’d humbly advise talking, but Filipinas, especially the young ones, seem to think it’s better just to amputate and move on. Dramatic minds, dramatic solutions.
We’ll see. We did have a good face-to-face conversation on these issues last night and again this morning on messenger. Whether it will result in behavioral change remains to be seen. But I was quite taken aback when she “set me free” over what I considered a minor incident.
This goes back to the idea of looking for an older woman in a young body: ain’t gonna happen. An older woman with experience would probably be willing to act maturely—to hear you out and accept your declarations of loyalty. Young girls, not so much. But young girls are what you seem to want, so in a sense, you’ve trapped yourself in your own hell (a line I’ve said before).
But age is just a number! Actually, meeting Pearl was a matter of circumstance, not design. I actually prefer women in their mid-30s or so. But Pearl is 28 and mature for her years in ways that most Filipinas are not. For one, she lived in Japan for a number of years and I think that experience broadened her horizons. She is also demonstrating maturity in the manner she manages her business which appears to be very successful thus far. Yeah, young women are attractive, but I’m attracted to intellect as well. Getting both in one package would be a big win!
That info about her and [that guy] radically changes my evaluation of your relationship with Pearl. If she feels she can go off the reservation that easily, then she was never deeply committed to begin with. She’s just another young doe relying on her beauty to seek male attention, and to gain validation thereby. Female vanity. And again, the mark of someone young and superficial.
We talked about the [that guy] affair as well. It’s obvious that he is in full courtship mode but until that night she seemed resistant to his advances. According to her, it was a one-off, ten-minute excursion to the bar across the street from her place. I’m going to accept her claim that she has no interest in [that guy] until I have more evidence to the contrary. And as I said above, I told her if she wants to go that route she can go with my blessing. Isn’t that what love is all about–wanting your partner to find happiness?
More fundamentally, what is it that you want? To me, it seems you haven’t resolved that question, and it pops up again and again. If all you want is sex, then apparently, there’s plenty to be found, and you have no trouble finding it. If what you’re looking for is paid companionship, “care” instead of real care, then there’s plenty of that, too. But if what you really want is to find a life-companion who will be there for you when the going gets tough… I don’t know, but I think you may be in the wrong country. You need someone who deeply understands the American character—someone who knows, for example, that if you’re a little flirty with the other bar girls, this doesn’t mean your fundamental commitment to your woman has been compromised. But you’ve closed off the possibility of finding yourself a decent American woman, so again, we’re back to the idea of the self-made hell. Have you ever asked yourself why you’ve boxed yourself in this way?
HaHa! I was married to three different American women and got the same result–divorce. And yeah, I acknowledge that I was the common denominator in each of those relationships. So yes, that is the fundamental question–what is it that I want? I have this fantasy of loving someone and being loved and cared for in return. The reality of that kind of relationship is that it requires a lot of work to maintain and sustain over time. When I was forced to consider my post-Pearl options yesterday, retreating to my previous lifestyle seemed the most appealing. Yeah, it is shallow and hollow, but also pain-free. There is something to be said for that. But in the end, I decided Pearl was worth another go. I’m going to try harder to be a little less selfish and more understanding. If it still doesn’t work, at least I know I gave it my best shot.
From Brian:
I am going to look at it from her side. What is her “role models” in a foreigner/PI girl relationship? In many cases, it is probably a foreigner who comes to town, woos and dines a young lady, professes their love, and most/many times leaves them high and dry. Either by going back to their home country, vowing to return (but never doing so), or getting them pregnant (yeah, I know, it takes two to tango, but…) and then never having anything to do with them or their child again.
Well, the story of Pearl as I understand it was that she married a Japanese guy when she was 18 and moved to Japan. He was her first boyfriend. That didn’t work out for her and since that time she has had two foreigner boyfriends, both long-distance relationships. She moved back to the Philippines a couple of years ago. So, she doesn’t really have any experience with a full-time expat like me, although I’m not sure what difference that might make. As you note, it does seem like she has some preconceived notions of what guys like me are supposedly all about.
I am not sure it is a jealously thing but more of an insecurity issue. Though I suppose it can be said that they are one and the same.
Yeah, to me, jealousy is just a manifestation of emotional insecurity. The other side of the jealousy coin is fearing losing your meal ticket. in Pearl’s case, she is at least more financially secure and self-sufficient than most of the Filipinas I’ve met. Pearl has her own business (with a second location opening soon) and mama drives a new car and lives in a Subic subdivision. So, I think her motivations are pure at least.
In any relationship, it takes work, and this one can work itself out. But you HAVE TO stop looking at it from strictly a Western perspective. Easy to say and hard to do. John, I know you have a lot of multicultural experience. I do also, but I also find myself falling into the abyss of expecting relationship to play out as i think it should in the west. Cant do that.
Yeah, that’s a fair point and one I’ll have to be more cognizant of moving forward.
Also wanted to add that since you are have been in Barretto a few years and are fairly well known in town, I am guessing that Pearl made some enquiries about you.
Yeah, it is definitely a small town with small-town gossip. Pearl already mentioned that the husband of one of her girlfriends talked about seeing me hanging out in Finger Monkey. I don’t misbehave (much) in the bars, but I can imagine a scenario where two girls are giving me a back rub and how that may play out if someone told Pearl they saw girls touching me in the bar.
From Dave: [that guy] does sound like a Juan but do not not get discouraged – or even more cunt-struck – in response. Show Pearl (and her mother who I suspect is the one really pulling Pearl’s strings) just who is the boss and get a take away from Wet Spot. Still ₱5000 only L/T (with only half going to Daddy)
HaHa–well the crew at Wet Spot is amongst the best in town. Still, I’ll save that idea for the when/if this relationship effort fails. Funny side note, I’ve been wondering who mom would pick between me and [that guy]. She’s hard to read…
Alright, this post has gone on way too long and I hope it doesn’t come back and bite me in the ass. (No, I still haven’t told Pearl about the blog–yet.) Thanks again for your support and helpful comments. Let’s find out what happens next in this story.
Hash Monday today, so hopefully a respite from the drama.
I was first in darts last night. First out of the tourney I mean. That’s what happens when you throw like shit. The upside of going 0-2 is that it frees up the rest of your evening. So, I paid up my tab, left Alley Cats, and walked up the street to Alaska Club to do a bar review.
I didn’t spend much time in Alaska (see the review to find out why) and decided to mosey over to It Doesn’t Matter. It has been over a week since my last visit. Having a girlfriend certainly does cramp my barhopping style. Roan welcomed me back with a “your face has gotten fat” greeting. Thanks for that. You should see my belly. Anyway, I’m working on losing the excess weight, but I fear that it’s going to require cutting way back on my beloved beer to achieve that goal. I’m not sure I’m ready to make such a sacrifice just yet.
I only had one beer at It Doesn’t Matter because I realized there was somewhere else I wanted to be. Yep, it was time for me to pull up a stool at Pamela’s place, so I hoofed it on over there. I had a couple of more beers and enjoyed some wings with her. Then when it was time for me to go, she surprised me by joining me for the trike ride to my place (her previous visits were after I was already home). That was nice. We did what consenting adults are prone to do, then fell asleep in each other’s arms. That was even nicer.
I woke up at 0330. That’s not unusual–I wake up several times throughout the night for a drink of water and a piss. But while laying there I looked up at the ceiling fan. The thought occurred to me that as frequently as it is running (I don’t use the aircon) it will inevitably wear out. When that happens I’ll have to contact the landlord. The landlord? Oh shit! I had forgotten to transfer the rent money to his bank account on the first. I hopped out of bed and corrected that oversight immediately. Then sent an apologetic email to the landlord explaining what happened. Yet another example of my slow slide into dementia. Karma for Biden jokes, perhaps?
I guess my sudden departure roused Pamela from her slumber. She joined me in the living area and we had a bit of a talk. I guess the outcome was positive because we wound up doing some exercise together. We did the dog walk and then headed down the hill and had breakfast at Harley’s.
My breakfast view.
After we finished eating, Pamela needed to go home. I needed to make another visit to the ATM in Subic, so we shared a trike. I got out and said my goodbyes at the BPI branch and Pamela continued on to Waltermart. After getting my cash I did the 7K walk back home.
The current view from here.
Sometimes I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
I guess it is just a matter of perspective.
Anyway, I’m trying not to get too far ahead of myself with all these changes going on in my life. There is still a lot to digest, not the least of which is the ramifications of a thirty-eight-year age gap. Even though I’ve been assured many times since moving here that “age is just a number”. We’re about to find out how valid that idea truly is. Not going to overthink it at this stage though.
And now for the photos from the Friday group hike:
A long (for us) and mostly flat 10K hike that took us on a circumnavigation of Easter mountain.Our merry band of hikers for the day.Look how determined they appear.Strolling through the Marian Hills community…Regrouping at a junction in San Isidro.Hello there, cutie!Let me give you a hand, dear.The German contingent.Crossing bridge #4 in Naugsol…Look at that old guy go!This fella was feeling a little spunky so we gave him a wide berth.The joys of country living…no electricity, no running water, no problem! Nope.We did do one up, but it wasn’t all that difficult.A view from the top.Getting down on the other hand…She is great at going down.Scott goes down on the down.Troy is into the grass.The old-timers like Scott have a penchant for running into people they knew in the old days. There was something familiar about that baby’s face though… Our journey around the mountain is nearly complete.After hike lunch and beer at the food place.Just trying it on for size. I’ve got a few years of walking left in me. Hopefully.
And there you have the story of another day in the life. Close enough to perfect for me.
Ah, Alaska Club. My first Philippines girly bar experience. That was back in its Angeles City iteration, and I was in there often enough to become acquainted with the owner, Jerry. He is a retired airline pilot who hails from, you guessed it, Alaska. I wrote about some of my AC adventures with the Alaska girls here.
My first barfine was from Alaska. Geez, I just realized that was over fourteen years ago now! Thanks for the memories, Sheryl!
There was a six-year gap in my visits to the Philippines while I pursued my ill-fated married life with Jee Yeun. And when I finally returned I was surprised to discover that Jerry had relocated his bar from Angeles City to Barretto. And with my move here, the good times in Alaska Club resumed. Until they didn’t.
Even though I’m not really into girly bars, Alaska remained on my regular circuit in large part because it was always well run with the emphasis being to ensure customers had a good time. Jerry was a hands-on owner and he stayed on top of everything from making sure his dancers actually danced and that the music he played as the DJ was suited to the tastes of the patrons rather than the girls. Think classic rock and roll versus disco. The pandemic killed all that. Dancing is not allowed in the bars now and Jerry has been stuck in the USA for well over a year. Last night the music was some rap crap that Jerry would have never permitted.
Alaska Club remains open, but it is open in name only.
This was the scene on Friday night. I was the first and only customer.
My waitress told me there had been a total of two customers the night before but on many nights there are no customers at all. I know that has been the case during all of my most recent visits. Remembering how it was compared to how it is now is pretty depressing.
The empty dance stage.
With dancing still being prohibited, the other girly bars I’ve visited have their former dancers sitting on stage so customers can view the options for companionship smorgasbord-style. Last night I counted a total of seven gals in Alaska, only a couple of which I’d be interested in spending any time with over shared drinks. I did buy my waitress a drink because I’ve known her since I’ve been here. My beer was 90 pesos, her drink was 150.
The covered pool table tells the story of Alaska’s sad demise.
I’m not a pool player, but the pool table in Alaska was always a big attraction for those who are. Jerry hosted several pool tournaments each week and that brought in a regular crowd.
So, there you have it. By all rights, Alaska should have been closed down by now, at least until tourists are allowed back in the country. Jerry is the reason that has not happened. In an act of charity, he has continued to provide a salary to a core group of employees and has also continued to provide housing in the “stay-in” rooms he owns behind the bar. I’m sure he loses money every day the bar is open, but I think Alaska Club was as much a hobby for him as it was a business. He can apparently afford to remain open until he can return and set about righting the ship. I hope that day comes soon.
Alaska was and remains a sentimental favorite of mine. I really ought to make it a point to visit more frequently, just to help Jerry keep it going. My rating will reflect the current circumstances, but will also take into account how the bar was in the past and how I expect it will be in the future.
This is the 20th bar I’ve reviewed and there are still several more to come. The rankings thus far:
I made it over to Pearl’s place at around 1:30 for our planned excursion out to Baloy Beach. When I arrived there were a couple of folks I knew sitting in the outside area so I joined in with the chit chat. Next thing I know, a plate of wings arrived courtesy of the owner who apparently wants to keep me fat well-fed.
Honey garlic, my favorite item on the menu. So far.Speaking of the menu, here it is.
Everyone I’ve talked to is impressed by the quality of the offerings and surprised at how inexpensive the food is. I’ve asked Pearl if they can make a profit at those prices and she assures me she has done the math. Sounds like a win-win.
Of course, I couldn’t eat those wings without a beer to wash them down. And then one thing led to another. And another. A couple of Hash buddies came by so it seemed rude to just up and leave. So, it was around 4:30 before Pearl and I finally headed to the beach. I asked if she wanted to walk but she preferred taking a trike. I didn’t argue the point. We did take a brief stroll down the beach before arriving at Laharnz’ place for more liquid refreshment.
A Pearl on the sand…Me and her.
I was pleasantly surprised to see a guy I know there I hadn’t seen for a while. John and I had a very pleasant chat. We talked some about Derek, a mutual Hash friend, who passed away earlier this year. Derek’s girlfriend returned to her province for a visit and asked John to keep Derek’s ashes while she was gone. John agreed to do so temporarily, but he has some doubts about whether the girlfriend will ever return. If she doesn’t, he said he’d likely just dump the ashes in the bay. I suggested an alternative–have a special Hash in Derek’s honor, then spread the ashes on the Hash trail. That’s how I’d like to be disposed of. John liked the idea and we both acknowledged that Derek isn’t going to care one way or the other. After death ceremonies and rituals are all about the people left behind.
Anyway, it was a nice evening on the beach but it was time to start thinking about dinner. I suggested we head up the beach to Da’ Kudos and have those grilled pork chops I love so much. Pearl enjoyed them too.
After dinner, we went back to her food place, but I was just about out of gas. So, I headed home and Pearl joined me there later. She’s a pretty amazing woman in many ways. Last night I was experiencing some chest congestion and she went into full nurse mode. It was really nice to have someone lovingly taking care of me. I’ve missed that.
This morning we got up and walked the dog, I made us some breakfast, and then she joined me on the Friday group hike. I could get used to this.
Time to get ready and head out for some Friday night darts. I’ll be back with a full report tomorrow.
Just a quick post on my busy Wednesday. Finished the morning hike and now I’m getting ready for dart league this afternoon.
Yesterday, I took Pearl out to lunch. One of the things we have in common is our love of Seoul. The Korean restaurant on the old Navy base, I mean.
Masks on as dictated by the SBMA laws.A stolen moment.Masks off and ready.Our sides included kimchi, spicy radish, macaroni salad, and spicy cucumber.I had bulgogi stew, Pearl had a beef noodle dish and dumplings. Everything was good.
It was a nice lunch date and our first time actually dining out together. I expect it won’t be the last. Pearl is a busy young woman though, so the taxi dropped her at her restaurant and I continued on home to nap, shower, and get ready for darts.
My darts were all over the place. Literally. I had moments of brilliance, including a ton-80 and a 5-bull shot, followed by an inability to hit anything I was aiming at. It was not a good night darts-wise. Still, somehow I managed to claw my way back into the money round. And then I quit. I was scheduled to play Billy to determine who would face Nancy in the finals. The loser of our match would finish third. I didn’t care. To continue would mean playing a couple more intense matches and I just didn’t feel like it. I told Billy “I concede”. I guess in some ways that might be considered unsportsmanlike, but I play for fun, not money. I got a chuckle when Billy and Nancy did my thing by declaring a tie and splitting first and second place money.
Everybody’s a winner!
After darts, I dropped into Pearl’s place to spend a little more time with her.
Why wouldn’t I?After all, they have the best coasters in town!
