A mostly urban adventure for the Wednesday Walkers yesterday. Our trek took us through the backstreets of Matain, and then along the beachside clutter of Calapacuan. We don’t often venture out this way and I rather enjoyed it. We did do one hill climb (well, the die-hards in the group did two) and it was a nice 6K hike ending at the food place.
More photos from the hike at the end of this post.
Speaking of Pamela, here’s an update of sorts for those of you who have been following along on our quest to share a true and lasting love. I mentioned yesterday that I was hoping she’d join me at darts (we won 8-5 despite my playing like shit) and have dinner afterward. When the match was complete I messaged her and asked if she was coming. She responded that she couldn’t get away from her business. I crossed the street and sulked over a beer at Johan’s, then said “fuck it” and caught a trike to see her in Barretto.
When I arrived, Pamela was sitting alone at a table inside. That was a relief! I joined her and she told me that the Dick had been there and left to go see a bar manager friend down the street. We talked a bit and then the Dick returned and sat at the counter outside. A little later, Pamela handed me a note that said “I go first, meet at Papagayo”, a restaurant a good bit up the highway. That sounded fine to me, but I wasn’t sure what the stealth was all about. Well, yeah, I had my suspicions. Anyway, I paid for my beer, took a leak, and headed up the road. About a block away I ran into Pamela just as she was about to get in a trike, so I hopped in with her.
I’ve only eaten at Papagayo once or twice since moving here. Pamela says they have the best Mexican food in town. She particularly enjoys the burritos. It’s a beachside resort, very nicely appointed, and we had a sweet outdoor table in the nearly empty restaurant.
I was just happy to be able to spend some time together and appreciated her getting away from work. It wasn’t all pleasant though. Pamela doesn’t always appreciate my sense of humor. That afternoon at her place I had teasingly equated what she does at her work as being a GRO (guest relations officer). Well, that’s a term some of the bars use for their female staff and she found it offensive. I assured her that no offense was intended and she let it go, but I’m going to need to remember to watch what I say to her.
Neither of us wound up getting the burrito, she ordered clams and I got a beef enchilada.
After dinner, I had the trike drop her back off at work and I went home. Pamela came over around midnight. Told me Dick was back to his old self. In what way, I asked. She said, he asked me to go home with him, told me he wanted me to have his baby, said he would marry me, and that when he died he would leave everything to me. For some reason, that pissed me off. I angrily told her that if she didn’t deal with the inappropriate remarks he was making to MY girlfriend, I would deal with it my own way, even if it resulted in violence. She seemed taken aback by my response. She reassured me again that she only saw him as a friend, had no interest in anything more, and that she would never be unfaithful to me. I calmed down, but damn, I’m not sure how long I can deal with that kind of drama.
I made her my version of a burrito for breakfast. She rightly noted that it was more like a soft taco. It’s a tortilla with seasoned ground beef, tomato, lettuce, green onion, cheese, and salsa. Pearl added sour cream to hers (damn, why didn’t I think of that?) and deemed it delicious.
After breakfast, I walked her to her food place and I did my morning hike. She had asked me to stop back after I finished and so I did. When I arrived, she was sitting next to the Dick at the outside counter. At first, I was pissed again and started to just walk on. Then I decided I wasn’t going to make it that easy, so I went in and sat down. Pamela had me move my stool next to her and gave me a cup of coffee and her full attention. Alright, take that Dick! To be fair, Dick did greet me and did engage me in a little generic conversation. Pamela promised to meet up with me later in the day today. I finished my coffee and left them there.
You know, if I really thought Dick would be better for her than I am, I wouldn’t hesitate to let her go. I’m not sure that Pamela’s professions of having no interest in him are true, but, I think she is sincere in believing that’s the case. If you know what I mean. I’m still having my own thoughts about my old life and wondering if this love thing is worth all these emotions it seems to generate.
I’ll give it some more time and see what happens next.
To the photos from the hike then:
And that was the way it went down.
Stay tuned for the further adventures that are sure to come!
Hi John,
Long time no comment, but I have been checking in regularly.
Wanted to add my 2 cents worth on the Pearl / Dick issue.
You mentioned previously that Pearl didn’t like your attempt at a joke when calling her a GRO, now as much as that may not be true she does work at (or own) a bar.
In either case if the bar does well she has a job or a successful business.
Probably more than any other time being able to count on regular business is more important than ever so if she is able to talk to someone and they stay for another hour or 2 this is extra business and good for the bar / Pearl.
Now I am not defending the apparent advances made by Dick in anyway however for your own peace of mind if you take what Pearl is telling you as true then it doesn’t matter what Dick is doing.
If we assume that Pearl is trying to make money through her business (and Dick) then I think you need to take a delicate approach to this situation as although you are viewing things from a relationship angle Pearl is probably viewing this from the business side. You wouldn’t want someone interfering in your business when you were working so she probably wouldn’t want you interfering with her business.
You have mentioned some communication issues already so perhaps a conversation to find out why she puts up with Dick might be in order.
In the future I would hope that the other expats in the area would start to recognise you as a couple and such Dick like situations won’t occur again however at some point when the tourists come back they won’t know you are a couple so will you get jealous each and every time?
An open and honest conversation about how she views her customer interactions and how you view them and how this makes you feel would allow you both to understand the other point of view and hopefully then have an appreciation of the other allowing you to both feel comfortable with the situation.
Anyway all the best with this and everything else.
These are definitely uncharted waters, and Dick sounds more than a bit whacked. He’s been clearly told (assuming Pearl wasn’t lying) that you and Pearl are a couple, and he still pulls this shit? One way to look at it is that you’ll have to be assertive and fight for your woman. Another way to look at it is that Pearl is still too accepting of male attention (even of the desperate kind) because it strokes her ego. I guess you’ll have to figure out whether Pearl is worth standing up for. Good luck with that. My instinct is that you’ll need to talk with Dick directly and set him straight. You both seem to be on speaking terms, after all. “Hey, Dick—you do understand that Pearl and I are thing, right? So hands off, and stop with the ‘I wanna have kids with you’ stuff.” I get the impression that Dick thinks you’re not a serious contender for Pearl’s affections—an old irrelevancy. And that’s why he persists. This is a dangerous attitude for him to take.
God, the whole thing is weird.
“you do understand that Pearl and I are thing, right?”
Should be:
“you do understand that Pearl and I are a thing, right?”
Gettin’ old.
Thirsty also has a legit take on the situation, although if a customer is saying he wants to have babies with you and bequeath you his stuff, that strikes me as more than “just business.” Still, Thirsty’s main point is to proceed with caution, which is advisable.
Well! Dick Head crossed the line. Please have my baby.
Looking back at my old life I revert to ingrained thinking (DiME elements of power), Pearl may be tempted to look at this from an Economic perspective. You might try Diplomacy with Dick Head, but I think he’s shown he is a little “off” and/or thinking with his dick. Pearl is a nice looking woman and by all references a great personality. I don’t think you want to go to the Military option, but don’t let him take control of your emotions and force a commitment you aren’t comfortable with and may regret. In the end, Pearl is in control and the decision maker.
Just ranting. BTW I don’t write much bc I have been having some mind issues and lose my way and train of thought.
Good luck. Wishing the best for you.
btw, Merry Christmas. It has just snuck up on me.
Just looked at what I wrote. The Diplomacy is with Pearl . Best to leave Dick Head out of it beyond telling him she’s your girl. OOPS , might result in a challenge.
Jerry
Thirsty, great to hear from you again. And thanks for the insights. Although Pearl’s place is really a restaurant more than a bar, she’s getting quite a few drinking customers, mostly us expats. There are no drinking girls or extra waitresses available to entertain the customers. She seems to be attempting to fill that void and that led to my GRO joke. She has told me that Dick is just a good customer who brings in a lot of friends and she is trying to navigate those waters and not lose his business because she rejects his overtures. I get that.
Kev, yeah, whacked in a sick and twisted way. Pearl had been adamant that she doesn’t want me to confront him directly. Something happened last night though that may have gotten the message across. I’ll tell that story in today’s post.
Rascal, thanks again for making the effort to share your words of wisdom. Yeah, I’m not going to do the “military” approach, that would potentially create bigger issues and land me in jail. Merry Christmas to you! Hang in there, getting old sucks but it beats the hell out of the alternative!
I think it is Pearl’s responsibility to make it clear to Dick that you are a couple now…and act like one when he is around…not a secret note to see you outside just to talk to you…u see her day time is for Dick and night time for u…isn’t that sudpicious of her getting 2 birds in one stone? Why can’t she politely introduce you to Dick as her bf…u really do not know what that Dick had invested in her why she can’t get rid of him or clearly show u to him as her bf? I wonder….
Are those kids in the group pick part of the Hash (eg children of hashers), or were they just in the area when you took your pic?
Re: You and Pearl. Have you “disassociated” yourself from your various FWB? Mentioned this before, and I realize that this happened after a long night drinking, but ending the night by putting 100 peso notes in bargirl blouses, while a helluva lot of fun, is not a good look from the perspective of a potential partner seeing/hearing about this. Being that it is a small town, anything you do will probably make its way back to Pearl’s ears. If the shoe was on the other foot……..
McCrarey, i hope this relationship works out for you. i really do. as much generosity you have shown to Mama(how is she by the way) and people trying to start a restaurant and throwing some lady drinks at the gals you deserve a loving lady. However, I will dedicate a song by my favorite female recording artist to you. A gal you may have heard of. Pat Benatar. The song is called “Promises In The Dark”. You get a chance, cue it up on the turntable at the house or maybe it’s on the jukebox at Pearls Place. It has McCrarey written all over it.
“Never Again, isn’t that what you said?
You’ve been through this before
An’ you swore this time you’d think with your head
No one, would ever have you again
And if taking was gonna get done
You’d decide where and when
Just when you think you got it down
Your heart securely tied and bound
They whisper, promises in the dark
Armed and ready, you fought love battles in the night
But too many opponents made you weary of the fight
Blinded by passion, you foolishly let someone in
And the warnings went off in your head
Still you had to give in
Just when you think you got it down
Resistance nowhere to be found
They whisper, promises in the dark
But promises, you know what they’re for
It sounds so convincing, but you heard it before
Cause talk is cheap and you gotta be sure
And so you put up your guard
And you try to be hard
But your heart says try again”
BW, those are fair points and I too wondered why she didn’t just come out and say she has a boyfriend. Her story was she didn’t want to lose a customer. Anyway, I think things resolved themselves last night. I’ll post about it later today.
Brian, those kids are group members’ children.
Yes, I’ve ended the FWB program. I’m still giving some support occasionally, but with no strings attached–just a straight-up donation. To clarify that 100 peso tip situation–those were more friends than bargirls–the Alley Cat crew that I’ve been knowing since I moved here. Giving a personal tip in that fashion eliminates the need to share in the tip jar. Also, it is not as lewd as it sounds–I never touch skin, just drop the money into the cleavage. But to your larger point, yes, Pearl has made similar arguments vis-a-vis my interactions with bargirls. But at my worst, I don’t come close to the grab-ass antics of Dick.
Soju, Ha! I know that song and it’s a good one. I admit I hadn’t considered its message as being directed towards my current situation, but it is something to keep in mind.
Mama is doing mama–living on the street but seemingly happy to do so…she is always so happy to see me, smiles, and tells me “I love you, papa”. Best 100 pesos I spend all day!