A lovely Monday morning here in the Philippines. I’ve got the Hash to attend to soon so I wanted to throw some love out to my faithful few readers who look forward to my pathetic posts. I won’t let you down!
Let’s start with this:
Some protesters who stayed in the District after the March on Washington ended Friday afternoon continued to spread their message, and elements of mayhem, around the city by temporarily shutting down major roads and tussling with police, even while rain deluged the area at nightfall.
Kevin Kim, do you see a problem in the above passage from a recent Washington Post article? Althouse did. As the world’s foremost authority on comma usage, I’ll let you be the final arbiter on the issue.
And speaking of Kevin Kim, today is his birthday. Any of y’all who appreciate his insightful comments here as much as I do should go give him a holler at his Hairy Chasms blog. And if you aren’t reading him every day as I do, you are missing out on some fine content. Check him out!
I ventured out yesterday afternoon in defiance of the Sunday lockdown order. Made it to my favorite beachside bar without incident and enjoyed me some cold brewskies. Now, I had plenty of beer at the house but I just enjoy watching the beauty that mother nature provides. Especially the sea gals.
This gal is a regular on the beach and she ain’t shy about strutting her stuff. Her hair is probably her most striking feature though.The rest of her ain’t bad either.I couldn’t really sneak a good shot of this one, but I find her quite attractive in a “girl next door” kinda way.A simple beauty with no pretensions.
Tomorrow is grocery shopping day, and I’ve got my list prepared:
Sorry if I’ve posted this before. It’s a great example of being phonetically correct and totally wrong.
Sadly, I don’t have a wife to do the shopping for me. Kinda like this poor guy:
I hate it when that happens!
Okay, that’s all I’ve got for today. Assuming I survive today’s trail (Leech My Nuggets is the Hare) I’ll be back with more tomorrow.
A little lazy lockdown Sunday potpourri. I’m not kidding about the lazy part, I’ve been sitting on my ass all day playing solitaire on the computer. I did achieve Card Shark level, however, so I guess that’s an accomplishment of sorts.
Here’s the view from my upstairs balcony this morning. It’s rained periodically throughout the day. That’s my excuse for not walking. I like it better than the being a lazy bastard one.
I had a big surprise when I saw my old buddy Jeremy Frye was posting on Facebook again. He’s the one who got convicted in the death of a Korean he had a bar brawl with. I guess he got released a few months early from his six-year sentence and he’s currently staying with his parents back in Florida. I’ve not had a chance to chat with him yet, but I did leave a comment that he ought to write a book about his experience. He responded: “Of course. It also doubles as my autobiography, which doubles as a self-help book. It’s called “Lessons I Learned the Hard Way”. Hmm, that may be sarcasm. He does appear to be somewhat embittered, but I guess that’s to be expected. He still believes he was wrongfully convicted:
I’m putting this video on Facebook so that my family and friends in America will be better able to understand what happened as I explain the area, environment, scene, etc. This is not for any other reason, but it should be noted that the “victim’s” friends who were at the hospital giving accounts of what happened werent actually at the scene. On top of that, even though the reporter was standing in front of the police station, the detectives kicked him out without giving him any information, which should help everyone to understand that this KBS news segment had very little actual facts.
You know… I know that many people are disgusted with me for having “punched a man to death”, but in reading the news articles, comments, and other case-related crap, I”ve realized (what I had already known), that nobody on the outside ever knew what really happened. I had begun a complete dissection of the case and was going to post videos to expose the corruption using the court records that the prosecutors tried to keep from me, but I think that I’m going to save myself tons of hours of work and money simply by posting the autopsy photo so that everyone can see clearly that it was impossible for a fist to create the blunt-force trauma, especially from three punches.
I don’t think he posted that photo, but here’s the KBS video he mentions. Welcome home, Jeremy!
Christopher was a special boy and it was heartbreaking to see him leave this world just a couple of years after his mother and my good friend Bridget Werner passed away.
Well, that’s enough sad shit for one day, don’t you think? Last night was pretty satisfying:
I am still throwing like shit, but threw well enough that my partner Nancy could carry us both to victory!
After finishing darts at Alley Cats, I went across the street to my beachside bar:
Where I enjoyed some cold beers and a beautiful sunset. And if you love nature the way I do, it’s always good to see the beautiful sea gals out and about.
Hotels are allowed to serve their guests on lockdown Sundays. And I got invited to be a guest by the manager. Woot! Just might take her up on that offer in a bit. If I can break away for my perch in front of the computer.
What else have I got for you? Well, this is both true and funny:
Was sorry to see that he chose to leave Congress. We need more people of integrity like Trey Gowdy.If the media was reporting WWII events like they are the riots, we’d see this kind of headline…
Speaking of the 1940s, I found this on the internet and it purports to be the real thing. I have my doubts, but maybe I should get me one:
Just in case I need to ration myself so I don’t overdo the transactional relationships.
Anyway, I’m maintaining positive thoughts and I remain hopeful that my chosen path will lead to happiness. Whatever that may be.
One day at a time.
Think I will shower up and defy the lockdown for a bit. I hope my next post isn’t from jail!
I’ve been doing some self-reflection and pondering the way ahead as I move into what remains of my golden years. Honestly speaking and notwithstanding my bitching and moaning, I’m living a comfortable and mostly satisfying retired life here in my scenic little town. The one aspect I’ve been most unhappy about has been my failure to find and maintain a truly loving relationship. And yes, I know that is all on me. And you, my dear readers, are quick to remind me of that fact whenever my whining rants and self-pity get to be too much. See, this blog does serve a purpose!
A commenter on myLive and Learnpost defined the nature of my failures with women as being due to what he called “transactional relationships”:
If you really are seeking some sort of love and companionship, you have to start by eliminating the transactional dimension of your “relationships.” Another astute commenter used the phrase “pay for play” to describe your situation. As long as you’re unable to rise above the transactional (she gets something out of this; I get something out of this), you’re doomed to marinate in your own hell.
I hadn’t really ever thought of it quite that way so that set me to thinking. Looking back it is true that almost all of my “love” relationships had a transactional aspect to them. Maybe it is just the way I’m wired or perhaps it’s just my admittedly selfish nature, but I’m not seeing how I might escape this Groundhog Day-like cycle. I mean, aren’t the traditional wedding vows transactional in nature? Making mutual promises to one another about all the things you will do for that person “until death do us part” is tantamount to entering into a contract. What’s more transactional than that?
So, I’ve been married four times. Some might call that a failure, but on the other hand, I did find four women in this world willing to take those vows of eternal love. That it was all for naught isn’t all that relevant, is it? In the case of wife #1, she had my baby. I wanted to keep that baby girl and raise her the best I could. Marriage was the avenue for doing that, so I gladly made that transaction. After five years that wife decided she didn’t want the job of being a mother anymore (we also had a son by now) so I became a single father.
Wife #2 was and is probably one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I knew she’d make a great mom for my kids (she was a widow with one young child) and so I convinced her to marry me. I did love her in my fashion but there is no denying the transactional nature of that relationship. Of course, once the kids were grown the foundation of the marriage no longer existed. I recall that when I told my daughter of the pending divorce, she said to me: “I never understood why you got married in the first place. You two have nothing in common. She doesn’t even laugh at your jokes.” I responded that I got married so she would have a mother. My daughter looked at me and said “Daddy, we were doing just fine as the three of us.” Oh well, that one is all on me and I hurt a very good woman in the process. I’m not proud of that at all.
Now, wife #3 was all about passion. I mean, that was certainly true in the physical sense but it also carried over into our intellectual life as well. We fought about everything, but not really in a bad way. We both worked in labor relations and we’d have heated debates about work-related issues as a matter of course. Once I wised up and left my liberal orthodoxy behind we’d fight like cats and dogs over politics too. But the thing is, we were engaged. We argued because we cared. And once I moved to Korea and she reneged on her promise to join me there, I really missed that aspect of our married life. That’s probably one of the few instances of a non-transactional relationship I’ve managed to achieve. In the end, it was still a failure, but in a twisted kind of way, it worked while it lasted.
My Korean wife (#4 if you’re keeping score) was pretty much the complete opposite of my third wife. The language barrier played a large part in that I suppose as our interactions were limited to mostly mundane questions and responses. But she was a good woman and had a good heart. And she changed my life. I was supposed to retire and move to the Philippines in 2010. But after one of my trips there I came home sick and was hospitalized for a couple of days. Jee Yeun took time off work and stayed with me 24/7. And that got me thinking. I knew the Filipinas I had been meeting would love me for what I could offer them but likely only until a better option came along. I knew Jee Yeun would always be there for me. So, that’s what I chose. The deal was we’d always take care of each other and I was happy or at least satisfied with that. I guess that’s transactional too, but at least it was mutual. It was shocking when Jee Yeun unilaterally backed out of the deal. And not to make excuses, but I’ve been cynical about love ever since.
Now, after that final failure (and it is final, I will never marry again) I’ve been floundering. I want to have love in my love, but I’m unwilling to take the risks that loving someone requires. I don’t want another broken heart. So, I came up with a brand new plan. It was the ultimate in transactional relationships–I would pay someone to do and be all the things a girlfriend should provide, except there would be no love involved. I was a fool to believe it was foolproof. In the end, I fell in love with her and she broke my heart. Turns out she was better at the transactional game than I was–dumping me for a guy who offered her a better package. Is that how Karma works?
So, now what? We’ve identified the problem and that would be me. But what to do about it? Is being aware of my transactional nature enough to change it? Or will this be my destiny:
…like a wind-up toy aimed at a wall, you tend to hit that wall and to keep stubbornly trying to walk through it. You’ve been great about accepting the various criticisms we’ve offered (frankly, I might not react so well if I were in your place), but deep down, you’re not really accepting them. You’re stubbornly, eternally walking into that wall, into that wall, into that wall. Until you divorce yourself from that momentum and that trajectory (some would call this karma), nothing is going to change, no matter how much you rhapsodize about loftier things.
With awareness comes acceptance. Except I’m accepting that I’m not likely to change at this stage of my life. After giving the matter lots of thought, I’ve concluded that I am unlikely to change because I’m not at all sure that I want to change. No, I’m not particularly happy with my current state of being but damn, being “in love” might just be worse. These past few days seeing how the power my feelings for Janey has made me vulnerable to hurt and despair has been a good reminder that there are worse things than being alone.
So, what next? Well, I’m going to strive to do better in the way I treat the women I meet. A transactional relationship is one thing, but using people in a way that causes them pain is unacceptable. I don’t think that was ever my intent but I believe there have been some inadvertent hurt feelings along the way. I’m going to learn to embrace my aloneness as just another part of who I am. Yes, I’ll find opportunities along the way to experience the unique pleasure female company can provide. Let that be my respite from loneliness.
Actually, the thought has occurred to me to give my “Plan B” another try. Just pay someone to be my girlfriend/companion in much the same way that I pay my domestic helpers to take care of my house. It could work. As long as I don’t fall in love.
And the best news of all dear readers is that you will not hear me bitch and moan about the sorry state of my love life. There is peace in acceptance.
Made it through the birthday and I’m newly resolved to make the best of whatever lies ahead. Luckily, it seems my physical health is holding on and my mental health is not much worse than it’s ever been either. So yeah, I threw a little pity party for myself yesterday but it’s a new day today and I’m moving forward.
I do keep track of my vital statistics on a daily basis and I’d say I’m doing alright for an old fucker.
BP: 123/84
Resting heart rate: 59 (that’s lower than it’s ever been!)
72 sleep score (as measured by my Fitbit, that’s in the fair range)
Averaging just under 20,000 steps per day
35.7C temperature (no COVID yet!)
204 pounds (that’s 5 more than I like, and seems to be confined to my beer belly. No idea what that’s from though.)
Anyway, I’m in much better shape than I was five years ago. Even my damaged lungs seem to be, um, taking a breather. Haven’t needed to use my nebulizer or inhaler for quite a while and no coughs or other COPD symptoms. Overall, I’d say I’ve got much to be thankful for healthwise.
Nothing special really for the “big day” yesterday. Walked My Bitch alone and visited a bit with Olivia, the matriarch of the mountain family. Got a message from Scott about halfway through my hike that they needed to move the Hash gear from Johansson’s and wondered if I had room for it at my place. So, I hustled on over and helped load up the Hashmobile. Sad news to see Johansson’s close down, it’s been a fixture in Barretto and our Hash home for many years. Just another casualty of government incompetence and ignorance.
Later on, I popped into Cheap Charlies to enjoy a beer and they played the birthday song for me. I guess I have a mutual Facebook friend with one of the girls. My old crush Heidi, who manages the place, even sat with me for a chat. I bought a round of drinks for all the girls as a birthday present.
I was feeling hungry, so I walked up the street to Sit-n-Bull for some supper. Ordered the French Dip and it was quite good. I had a nice chat with the owner and mentioned that I rarely see a French Dip as a menu offering these days. He corrected me that what he offers is a roast beef dip. To be a true French dip the beef has to be finely sliced and he serves his version with thickly sliced wedgies. Well, yeah, now that you mention it. Still very tasty and enjoyable though.
I finished up on the beach at Mango’s and then headed on home ahead of curfew. I was in bed before 9 p.m. once again which seems to be my new normal.
Exciting times, eh?
A birthday meme from my daughter. She knows me too well! Life’s a gas.
And here we are–the first year of the rest of my life. For whatever reason (most likely going to bed so early) I woke up a few minutes before midnight. So, I got up and welcomed my birthday as it arrived. Hell, maybe I’ll get up to say goodbye tonight as well.
Anyway, I am now 65 years old. And if the American government is to be believed, that makes me officially elderly. Luckily, here in the Philippines, all the young women tell me that “age is just a number”. Still, 65 is a pretty damn big number! There’s really no getting around the fact that time is running out. If I were to make a bargain with the devil I’d ask for ten more good years (good meaning being able to do all the things I still enjoy doing). I actually checked this morning and saw that the life expectancy for an American white male is 78.6 years. But in the Philippines men only average 71 years before kicking the bucket. So, if I get my hoped for 75 I won’t have any complaints. Or so I say now anyway. I might feel different when the time comes.
I won’t deny having a case of the blues lately, but I think perhaps that’s natural when you are in a transitory state. But I’m keeping things in perspective. I recall that I had a big plan to kill myself for my 19th birthday. At least I plotted my demise for several weeks. Even secured the drugs I intended to ingest to send me on my way. Then when the big day finally arrived some friends up the road invited me over. We listened to music and played some cards and by the time the night was over I’d decided to give life another chance. Probably one of my better decisions. I really would have hated missing everything that’s led me to this moment in time.
“Age has no reality except in the physical world. The essence of a human being is resistant to the passage of time. Our inner lives are eternal, which is to say that our spirits remain as youthful and vigorous as when we were in full bloom. Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the alpha and omega. An end in itself.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
Speaking of love, I ain’t got any at the moment. And chances are I’m going to decide to keep it that way as I venture into my golden years. I went to a birthday party last night at Janey’s invitation and she totally ignored me. Hell, the only reason I went was to see her. And then this morning she sent me the following birthday greeting:
Wow it’s ur big day today. Happy birthday, wish u have a good health always, and find ur right women
Well, thanks for that. You really made my day. I wonder if “women” is a typo or a suggestion? Hmm.
In the desert I saw a creature, naked, bestial, Who, squatting upon the ground, Held his heart in his hands, And ate of it. I said, “Is it good, friend?” “It is bitter—bitter,” he answered; “But I like it “Because it is bitter, “And because it is my heart.” –Stephen Crane
Anyway, it is what it is. I’ll find my way. Maybe not to love but perhaps some peace of mind.
Absolutely no plans for the day other than I expect I’ll be spending it alone. I’ve kinda gotten used to that anyway. Maybe I’ll do a bar crawl and pay for the company of some desperate damsel. It suits my transactional nature after all. Probably not though. Not in the mood to pretend to enjoy that charades game. I’ll have plenty of cold beer to keep me company!
This is kind of a depressing post, isn’t it? But not to worry, I’m looking out my window right now at another beautiful day in paradise. I’ve been in much worse places, both inside and out of my troubled mind.
Happy birthday to me!
And the seasons they go round and round And the painted ponies go up and down We’re captive on the carousel of time We can’t return we can only look Behind from where we came And go round and round and round In the circle game
Here’s the view from my B&B last night (well, prior to curfew I mean). That would be beer and bay as usual…
A busy day ahead so I wanted to throw something up here while I can. Yeah, a vomit post!
Have my Wednesday hike group to attend to this morning. This afternoon I’ll be attending a birthday party. Janey invited me! It’s at the bar where the guest of honor works, but still…
I’m not a literary expert and haven’t even heard of a couple of these. But there is no such thing as too much Hemingway and don’t you dare attack my relatively new hero Bukowski. And Ayn Rand could see into the future for chrissakes. I’ll concede Lolita might be a little concerning without additional context. I’d keep my eyes on my teenaged daughter for sure!
Speaking of Twitter, Alexandra Occasional Cortex went there to attack the GOP convention. About the best she had was to mock the elephant symbol. As you might imagine, that didn’t work out well for her. Here’s my favorite:
What a jackass! No offense to the donkey on the right…
Anyway, I’m far, far away from the madness back home. Glad to be here. But still…
Aren’t we all?
Okay, gotta run. Well, walk. But you know what I mean.
…and cake on my head. That pretty much summarizes yesterday’s Hash. I’ll tell the story in pictures:
A mostly pleasant 6K hike to our On-Home at Hunter’s Jo. One climb, a little steep but not too difficult.Our Gash Hares were Check My Pek Pek, My Mouth Is Shut, and Horny Little Cock Bender. It was their first time as Hares and I’d say overall they did a fine job.The ought to write the trail marks a little larger maybe so us old guys can see them…And we are On-On!Puddles are just one of the flat ground rainy season hazards we have to deal with.Who wants cookies?And some candy for you!Tell us how you really feel…The big climb came towards the end of the trail…Harder that way for old farts like me……but we got it done.A view from near the top…Let’s get down from here.A steep descent……and the tall thatch grass didn’t make it any easier…Dealing with gravity is often a question of balance…One of the hazards on trail are vines growing close to the ground that will trip you up. Yesterday I encountered such a vine and it was covered in thorns. It wrapped around my leg and when I took a step forward it gave me a good slice. Not as bad as the barbed wire I got tangled in a couple of years ago, but still not pleasant.Looking back from whence we came…Made it on-home without further incident. The gal was the best thing on the menu, but I settled for an okay hot dog…A view from Hunter’s Jo.The Hares on ice.It’s my birthday week so I had the traditional Hash birthday cake prepared with the ingredients all on my head.There was a regular cake for everyone else to enjoy. I took a dip in the bay and washed away most of the other cake…And so concludes another Hash post.
It’s Hash Monday and that means I’ll be hitting the trail in a couple of hours and hitting the bottle shortly thereafter. So if I am going to post something here today I’d best do it now.
I wrapped up my lockdown Sunday with the movie Pay it Forward. It had been quite some time since I’d last seen it and with my Biden-like memory it seemed almost new to me again. For example, I’d forgotten that it was filmed in Las Vegas. Anyway, I had downloaded the film a few weeks ago in anticipation of sharing it with my friend Jhen on the occasion of my presenting her with a new laptop. Instead, she took the gift and fled. She did thank me profusely later and I saw that she recently posted a clip from the movie on her Facebook page, so at least she understands the concept of paying it forward. I hope she will.
When I went upstairs to my bedroom and was closing the sliding window in preparation for going to bed, I somehow managed to squash my thumb between the window and the jamb. Hurt like a motherfucker! This morning I have a big black bruise under the thumbnail. And no, the several beers I enjoyed with the movie had nothing to do with the accident. I’m almost sure of it.
In my morning internet explorations, I came across this clip of conjoined twins who recently were hired as a schoolteacher.
Only a sick mind would even think of wondering which head gives the best head. Yeah, I went there.
And while we are in the realm of YouTube, I’ll share a video from a Filipina vlogger who attempts to answer the question “Does your Filipina REALLY love you?” She is actually a little irritating to watch (at least to me, your mileage may vary) but she makes some points that are consistent with my own observations since I began visiting the Philippines. I’m going to be doing a post soon on the whole concept of “transactional relationships” and this video might provide you some useful background information for that discussion.
I’m in the early stages of reevaluating the person I’ve become and hopefully finding ways to be better than I have been. Self-awareness is definitely not my strong suit, but I’ve acknowledged in the past that in very many ways I’m a selfish bastard. That “what’s in it for me” attitude is probably what drove me to the transactional relationships habit we’ve been discussing in the comment threads on some recent posts. More on that another time.
In the belief that I might atone for some past transgressions and steer a course towards a more honest future, I had a talk with Janey yesterday over lunch at the Arizona resort. We started with a calamari appetizer. Janey did a chef salad and I tried their enchiladas. I honestly wasn’t impressed. But that’s not important right now.
Janey wasn’t expecting any serious talk and I could tell she was taken aback when I started telling her the things I’ve been thinking about these past few days. I began by telling Janey that contrary to what she has said to me on several occasions, she is not a “bad girl” for seeing me while she is in a long-distance relationship. I said if anyone was bad, it was me for having put her in this position to begin with despite my knowing she was not free. I told her that it made me sad when she blamed herself. I also said that I didn’t want her to feel any pressure from me to make a choice between me and her boyfriend. She should take her time and pick the life that is best for her. By the same token, I made clear that I do not want to be a second choice or fallback option. Her decision should be solely about him and her without consideration of her feelings towards me. If she should ultimately choose to end that relationship we could start anew and see where it leads for us. In the meantime, I would be taking a break and preparing myself for whatever the future might bring. I made clear I wasn’t seeking to find someone else, in fact, I needed time alone to figure out what it is that I want.
It felt good to get all that off my chest and I figured it would lead us into a larger conversation about her feelings as well. So, I was surprised by her reaction. “I understand” was all she would say. She was ready to burst into tears and wanted to leave the restaurant. I kept trying to reiterate that I was doing this for her–no more stress and she could take her time to make the best possible decision for her future. I emphasized that my feelings hadn’t changed but I thought it best for us both to focus on what was going to best prepare us for whatever the future might bring. “I understand” was all she told me. Then we left, she caught a trike and I went to play darts.
I later got a message saying I should not have told her what I did in the restaurant because she had to fight to keep from crying. We’ve chatted some today and she wasn’t sounding happy at all. So, I guess I was selfish again after all. It seems I just can’t help myself. Telling her what was in my mind and heart felt like the right thing to do, but maybe I was wrong about that.
I think where things stand now is we are back to being friends without all the baggage that comes with cheating. She did talk some today (on messenger) about her boyfriend and some of their issues. I suggested a face to face heart to heart when he returns to the Philippines. She’ll figure it out I think. I’m not sure where I’ll be at that point when she makes her decision. Hopefully in a better place than I am now.
And that’s where things currently stand with Janey.
More like 6 months. And whatever happens now won’t be my fault!
Oh, and I sucked at darts last night. It’s like I hadn’t played since March or something.
Tried to take a walk this morning, but it started raining so I turned around. Tried again this afternoon but when I got to Marion Hills the gates were closed. I’ve never seen that before. Made me wonder if one of those COVID cases was there. Or maybe they are trying to keep it out. Either way, I didn’t want to wind up in some quarantine ward so I retreated back to Alta Vista and walked there.
A beautiful afternoon regardless.
And that’s all I’ve got for this lockdown Sunday. Well, I’ve got pork chops in the crockpot. Maybe some beers and a movie later. Life goes on.
As I was leaving my subdivision yesterday afternoon one of the guards approached me and advised that several cases of COVID-19 had been reported in San Isidro, the barangay directly behind Alta Vista. In fact, my house is technically in San Isidro which is part of Subic town. Anyway, I understood the guard to say that no one from San Isidro (other than residents of course) would be permitted to enter Alta Vista. I acknowledged this info and went on about my business.
Today I’m hearing that the construction workers have been told to either stay on site or be denied re-entry. And even more concerning is that no visitors will be allowed to enter Alta Vista. I was more than a little incensed about that, thinking on what authority is a security guard going to tell me who can visit my house? I checked with one of my neighbors and he believes unescorted visitors may be denied entry, but not if I am with them. Hmm, guess we’ll find out about that one way or the other. Of course, I know several ways to bypass the front gate so I’ll continue to do as I damn well please, being the selfish bastard that I am.
Here’s the update from Zambales province. Olongapo also reported several new cases, including one in Barretto.
The “official statement to follow” verbiage is concerning. I won’t be surprised if there is yet another government overreaction shutting everything done. Hope I’m wrong about that.
In the meantime, life goes on.
The view from my regular perch at Mangos. I really do enjoy watching the youngsters at play on the beach.And here’s a rainy Baloy beach as seen from my wet morning walk.
And that’s about it for now. I’ve got a long-postponed lunch with J. today and later I plan to play in my first dart tournament since the COVID madness started back in March. I need to try and get back to normal, whatever the hell that is.
This may not be funny if you don’t know anyone for Scotland, but it made me think of my old friend Alistair and cracked me up:
Rows and flows of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons everywhere I’ve looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun They rain and snow on everyone So many things I would have done But clouds got in my way
I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now From up and down, and still somehow It’s cloud illusions I recall I really don’t know clouds at all
Yesterday afternoon found me at Bar Celona. I thought perhaps I would rendevous with J. there but alas, she was a no show. Other commitments ran late then the curfew loomed, and so it was not to be. Another time perhaps.
So I sat and drank in the beer and the view.
The clouds were hanging lower than my mood.
A restless night because I couldn’t get my damn brain to shut the fuck up. Oh well, it happens like that sometimes.
Here’s an update on our COVID numbers:
Of course, the government doesn’t publish them quite like this. Don’t want the sheep to catch on to the scam after all.
This mornings perusal of the internet revealed this madness:
What kind of madness is this? They are eleven fucking years old!
Apparently this is a new series on Netflix featuring young girls being sexualized. Guess they are going for the pedophile market. I canceled my Netflix account when they hired the lying bitch Susan Rice to their Board of Directors. Not sure if she had anything to do with approving this travesty but damn, are pedos the next oppressed group the libtards are going to get woke about?
I needed a nice long walk after seeing those “cuties”, so I took one with fellow Friday hikers Troy, Jim, and Anne. Scott couldn’t make it so picking the trail was my job today. I had us start out across the river in Matain, then head out past Black Rock mountain, around Easter mountain, back across the river in San Isidro, then over to my house for beers and chicken nuggets. Around 12K all told, mostly flat. It did rain like a motherfucker about halfway through, but nothing you can do about that except suck it up and keep plodding along.
As usual, my hiking mates were always waiting for my slow ass to catch up.But I like to stop and smell the flowers along the way. Well, at least photograph them.And pause to take in the view too.Wet and slick…I chose to go around Black Rock rather than over it. I judged to ground too wet for a safe descent. I’m no Günter…Finally, a break in the storm!There was no way to avoid getting wet and muddy feet though.And on we marched.Back over the river and just 3K more to Alta Vista.How now brown carabao?
And that’s how things are here in these parts.
Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels The dizzy dancing way you feel As every fairy tale comes real I’ve looked at love that way
But now it’s just another show You leave ’em laughing when you go And if you care, don’t let them know Don’t give yourself away
I’ve looked at love from both sides now From give and take, and still somehow It’s love’s illusions I recall I really don’t know love at all
So, I’ve taken some time to sincerely think about and digest the thoughtful comments I received to the post entitled “Live and learn”. That proved to be an apt title I guess. There were so lessons to be learned thanks to the brutally honest feedback I received. So, thanks again for that.
Other than Kevin, I’m don’t think the commenters have had the unique pleasure of meeting me in person. Being known only for what you write and share on a blog like this is a two-edged sword I suppose. I try to be honest with my readers in my diary-like ramblings, but some things of necessity may be left unsaid and others might be overemphasized because they are standout moments in an otherwise mundane life. So, I think in some ways I might create an impression that I’m something that I’m not. Like being a player that has random and regular sexual encounters for example. By my count, I’ve been with twelve women in the 27 months I’ve lived here. Several of those I was dating, others were one night stands with bargirls, and a couple were friends with benefits type encounters. On the other hand, I’ve come to question my own self-awareness lately so maybe what seems like nothing out of the ordinary is actually quite perverted in the eyes of others.
Anyway, I’m not here to make excuses and I do intend to take the advice I’ve been given in good faith to heart. Whether that will result in my actually changing any destructive behaviors remains to be seen. I do want to respond to a couple of points made in those comments just to explain where I’m coming from.
From Kevin:
…we can at least be sure that your feelings for J don’t amount to love. At this point, I’d say it’s clear that there’s no seriousness at all regarding your relationship with J, and that you’re content to use women the way they may or may not be using you.
I guess I could cop out and just say “it’s complicated”. J seems special and different somehow, but yeah, when it comes right down to it, she scares me. A few days ago she was talking like she was ready to dump her boyfriend for me and I was surprised my reaction wasn’t joy at all, more like panic. I guess I was able to dissuade her from making a hasty decision, but it made me realize that I wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility of being her only man and everything that goes with that. Maybe I’m not her best option.
Has it occurred to you that your ex is probably aware you’ve been with J, and this is the ex’s way of re-marking her “territory”?
She definitely knows now as I told her I’d been dating J. And I think I’ve made it clear that while I hope we can remain friends, there is no going back to where we were relationship-wise.
If you really are seeking some sort of love and companionship, you have to start by eliminating the transactional dimension of your “relationships.”
Yeah, I can now see that I’ve brought a transactional element into my relationships here and that is inconsistent with the love and companionship I’ve claimed to be seeking. So the question is now am I willing and able to change?
From Brian:
Honestly, you should probably swear off women in your locale. Too much of a “small town” vibe. Drama everywhere. If you want/need to sow your oats, take a long weekend and go to city XXX (wherever that is) and repeat as needed.
Yes, living in a small takes some getting used to that’s for sure. Here’s an example from this week: I’m walking home from Baloy beach and suddenly this woman pops out of the bushes in front of me (I believe she was avoiding the checkpoint on this highway). She smiled and said “you’re the guy who is always at Mangos”. Then I recognized her as the woman I’d seen on the beach there several times, just standing around. She explained that she was tapping into Mangos free wi-fi. She then asked where I was going and I told her “home”. Then she offered me a massage. Hmm. Attractive enough and I do enjoy a good massage so I agreed. And yes, I know this seems to confirm the points Kevin made above. Anyway, we get here and it turns out she actually is a trained masseuse and did an outstanding job. When she was done she asked if I wanted a “happy ending” and I told her not this time. So, maybe I’m not totally ruled by my little head!
James left a humorously sarcastic comment, but he did make some fair points, including this:
However, being a fair man, it will come as no shock to you to find that you will apply the same harsh judgment on yourself when you fail to live up to your rules. It becomes harder and harder to rationalize your actions and then your rules become in danger of being obsolete.
I honestly hadn’t considered that to the extent I’ve rendered harsh judgments on others, I’ve also been guilty of the same infractions. I do seem to have some self-awareness issues.
Megan’s comment probably stung the most, perhaps because it rang so true:
If anyone has followed your blog posts, they would see that you have been married four times, had multiple relationships along the way (married and single), and profess about “falling in love” every other day. While reading your diatribe of “oh golly, I’m just doomed to be unlucky in love” might had some resonance, your abhorrent actions tell another story. Stop acting like a lovesick Romeo and embrace your lust filled persona in full force. Eventually, it seems to just be a ‘trick the reader’ into feeling guilty for me scheme.
It is never my intention to “trick” readers, I think what you are seeing is me not being honest with myself. But yeah, I’m the common denominator in every failed relationship I’ve been involved with, so I acknowledge that. I actually did a post tallying up the score of my lifetime of failed loves. I took the blame for some of those, but maybe not enough. I especially appreciated Megan’s perspectives as woman in declaring my actions as abhorrent. And her advice to embrace my true nature and stop pretending to want love has some resonance as well.
Again, thanks to all of you.
So, now what? I’m honestly wondering whether it is even possible to change what I’ve become at this late stage of my life. I really can’t deny that I’m both a broken man and my own worst enemy. Being willfully blind about that is no longer an option. I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do long term (or as long term as it gets for a man about to turn 65), but for now at least I’m going to just stop pursuing relationships. Better to be alone than to keep on hurting people. Including myself.
I’ll be meeting with J. later this afternoon and I’ll give her the news. Not sure how she will react, maybe she’ll be relieved. Several times now she has told me I deserve to find a good woman. When I tell her I think she is a good woman she says “a good woman wouldn’t cheat on her boyfriend”. So, yeah, I’m not doing her any favors I think making her feel that way. Especially now that I’m doubting my ability to follow through.
The ex has been leaving me alone since I told her about J. and said she couldn’t stay at my house anymore. I know my half-assed dual messaging has not been good for her either. Maybe now she’ll move on.
And I’ll be alone and making the best of those sorry circumstances. As my readers have reminded me, I’ve earned every bit of it.
But what a fool believes he sees No wise man has the power to reason away What seems to be Is always better than nothing There’s nothing at all But what a fool believes he sees…
Spent an interesting few hours yesterday on the old Navy base. That’s what I call it anyway, but it is technically the Subic Bay Freeport Zone (SBFZ) although it often called SBMA (Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority) which is the unelected government agency that runs things in what is really a complex community of people, businesses, and manufacturers. It was a huge U.S. Navy base back in the day, but what is most surprising to me is just how diverse the landscape really is. You’ve got the urban areas, the ship docks, and the big factories; but also I’d reckon more than half of the base remains in its jungle-like natural state. Quite beautiful indeed!
I had occasion to visit one such area yesterday along with five others from our Wednesday hiking group. We went in search of new trails to explore as we are growing a little bored with the same old, same old here in Barretto. And we were not disappointed, although it did seem at first we might be. When we reached our intended starting point, the road was blocked by SBMA police who told us non-residents were not allowed. So we moved on down the road and found an actual trailhead and set about exploring it. And explore we did as most of the time we were clueless about where we were or where we were going. We spent over three hours making our way along muddy paths through the jungle. I did manage to fall only twice on the 10K hike.
The route we took…Heading on out in search of a trail.By golly, I do believe we found one! It was technically closed but no guards at this entrance. The Aeta referenced in the sign is what the indigenous people of the Philippinesare called. Apparently there is a small village nearby, although we never found it.
A babbling brook. Or maybe it was a gurgling stream…But we found a bridge to safely cross it… The first half of the trail was well-maintained and a pleasure to hike.We came upon these Aeta folks doing some work on the trail. They invited us to join them for coffee. We declined but shared some cookies with them.Onward I go!It was a hot day. My shorts are drenched in sweat. Yeah, I know it looks like I pissed myself, but I didn’t. I swear!Up we go.Up top things cleared out and we found this solitary house.So I gave some cookies to one of the residents.It was quite beautiful up there.Moving on.The nightmare started on the way down. Steep and slick. I found it hard to keep my feet, which made for slow going.But we did eventually make it back to civilization. This old Quonset hut was one of the few vestiges of the former US Navy presence that we saw.We were tired, hungry, and thirsty at the conclusion of our hike so we popped into an SBMA restaurant called Vasco’s. This was the view from our table.
We stopped at the newest bar in Barretto, The Green Room, on the way home and had a few more beers. I got home around 4, took a shower then fell asleep. Hence, I failed to post this report yesterday. Sorry!
The reason I ask is because the comments to my previous post have given me lots of food for thought. Quite a bit to digest. While I chew them over let me share some photos from yesterday’s Hash.
Leech My Nuggets was the Hare. He’d been stuck in Australia for months, so it was could to have him back. He always does a challenging and well-marked trail–yesterday was no exception. Right around 6K.We gathered up at our starting point in Alta Vista……and then we headed on out.Over a river…….and through a rice paddy…And onward we marched. Almost like Christian soldiers.There were rickety bridges to navigate along the way.And hills to climb. Actually, there was only one real hard up, long and steep. First time on that trail, so it was interesting. Actually, the steep and slippery downhill proved to be more challenging.Catching our breath about halfway up.The view was nice.This one too.Oddly enough, this was one of my favorite views throughout the hike.I dispensed with some cookies……and candy along the way.On Home at Hunter’s Jo Inn… Ships in the bay…and some Gash on ice.Two virgin Hashers successfully completed their initiation.We ran out of beer right when the circle ended, so I took a trike back to Barretto and grabbed my regular stool at Mango’s. Beach was deserted at low tide.
Other than the beer issue, it was a fine Hash indeed. Thanks for coming along.
Well, I turn 65 in ten days, so I’ve got the living part pretty much down. The learning, maybe not so much. In my previous post, I alluded to screwing up again, and a couple of commenters expressed curiosity about what I did this time. Here’s the gist of it:
My ex-girlfriend asked if she could visit for lockdown Sunday. She’s friends with my helper and attached to the dogs. She’d asked before and I’d always told her no. For some reason, I agreed this time. It was mostly fine, she brought her karaoke machine with her and the girls sat out back and sang the night away. I went to bed and to my surprise, I woke up to find her next to me (I expected her to use the guest room). And then my little brain nature took over.
I was gone all Sunday morning on my hike and the women folk sang all afternoon. So it was all cool. I went to bed early and she joined me again later. This time she slept with her head at the foot of the bed and that suited me fine.
I’m chatting with Janey this morning and she tells me she and her sister are going for a run. I asked where and she said Baloy beach. Imagine my surprise then when I saw her and a couple of other females jog past my house! Now, the ex was still upstairs but she’ll usually sit on the balcony and have a morning smoke. I went upstairs and she was in the bathroom. When she came out I told her not to use the balcony this morning. And then of course I had to explain why. Check out Sarkinen Plumbing packages for services.
It was weird. She knows Janey from the Hash and she suspected I was seeing her (never while we were still together though). I think the ex was hurt for some reason, but we talked through it. I reminded her that we were just friends now and who I spent time with was not her concern. I was paranoid that Janey might come back and knock on my door. Also, it was time to walk the dogs. Would I encounter her out on the street? Finally, I just said fuck it, and we did the dog walk. Didn’t see anyone and apparently Janey is none the wiser.
So, why do I feel like shit? Well, I certainly wasn’t honest with Janey. She had no idea I was entertaining a guest this weekend. I don’t know if being with my ex constitutes cheating, especially since what I’m doing with Janey is in fact cheating on her boyfriend. But it still doesn’t feel right somehow. And yes, it has occurred to me that the person I’m being most dishonest with is me.
So, I don’t know what I’m going to do at this point. No intention of going back with the ex, she’s better at being a friend than a girlfriend. I still like the idea of Janey but the reality of our situation is wearying. I’m still not prepared to walk away just yet, but the thought of doing so is recurring. It could be like that old song says: “We had the right love at the wrong time”.
Anyway, that’s the update. More and more I think I might be better off alone. It is probably what I deserve.
The first of several lockdown Sundays to come but I’ll be damned if I’m going to take it lying down. Luckily, Subic is right on the other side of the river and they are not under the onerous restrictions imposed by Olongapo/Barretto. So I spent some time in their neck of the woods this morning. More on that a bit later in this post.
As is becoming my custom, I spent the curfew abbreviated evening at Mango’s yesterday. The view of the beach was especially enjoyable:
Not often you can view a full moon so early in the day.
It is very unusual to see a Filipina in a string bikini. Most of the time they wear shorts and a t-shirt when they swim. She and her guy (on the left) were staying at the ICove hotel next door to Mango’s. Probably up from Manila. Those big-city girls can be a little wild I’m told.
And then I wound up doing something stupid. I probably got away with it this time, but I’m pretty disappointed in myself. When will I ever learn?
Decisions, decisions…
Speaking of things that didn’t go as planned, Facebook reminded me this morning that it was just four years ago when I was wondering where things might go with this one:
Ah, Eun Oke. For every time that we spent laughing there were two times that I cried.
Anyway, I decided to push myself this morning and did a little more than 14K in just over three hours. It was a bit much for these tired old legs, I was really dragging ass at the end. A voice in my head kept whispering “take a trike home, no one will know or care!” But I said fuck that and kept on plodding along until I was safely back to Casa Rosenda.
My destination this morning was the WalterMart on the far side of Subic town. I took the Subic bypass road getting thee and the National highway coming back. I’d done this walk once before several months agp. It’s mostly flat thankfully, but I just don’t seem to have more than 10K in me in one go these days.
I’ve got some pictures if you want to see some of what I saw:
No rain this morning but a brief shower right when I got home. I’m not sure why but I found this cloud formation pleasant to look at.The familiar path leading out of Alta Vista. This was about the only portion of the walk that wasn’t paved.My first river crossing of the day.Easter mountain towers above the rice paddies…The Govic bypass highway to Subic. Mostly empty but for a few shanties and shacks here and there. Not much traffic today which was nice.About an hour later I was back in civilization, such as it is.Destination achieved! It was right at 7K from my house. I walked through the mall but didn’t visit any of the stores.The National highway going into Subic Town. I always assumed the walk was longer via the bypass but they both proved to be about the same at 7K. Yeah, it’s blurry. Sorry, something about standing in the middle of the road made me nervous I guess.Subic Town Hall.Not sure if you can make him out, but there is a little boy fishing in those nasty waters.Now, this freaked me out. Once the lift basket reached its apex, this young man got out and climbed up into the tree. No rope, no safety harness. Then he began sawing away at one of the branches. I couldn’t bear to watch. One false step would likely be fatal.Also walked by where we will be holding the On-Home for tomorrow’s Hash. Leech My Nuggets is the Hare and I’m sure the trail he chooses will be much more difficult than what I walked today. Probably shorter though.Crappy map, but this is all I got. I guess it provides an idea of how I got there and back.And so concludes today’s lockdown post. Beats sitting on the couch and watching TV, that’s for sure!
And now I reckon I’ll pop open a beer, sit on the couch, and watch some TV.
Let’s take a break from posts about love and relationships, shall we?
Well, maybe. As much as I enjoy imbibing I really don’t like to drink early in the day. I’m one of those five o’clock guys. Although I do make exceptions, like at the end of a group hike.
Speaking of group hikes, I did a nice 8K trek with Scott and Troy on Friday.
That would be Scott……and this would be Troy……not to mention me. Well, I guess I just did.Walked past my mountain family’s place for the first time in a while. Grandma has her own shack now, with a dog and everything!The thatch grass was in full flower. Pain in the ass to walk through.The views were nice though.Came down off the mountain into a small enclave and encountered these friendly kiddies…Rewarded those smiles with some cookies…Big girls need sweets too. Well, maybe this one should lay off the candy some…I had enough for them too…It’s the season to plant that rice. Up on top of the hill in the back is my Alta Vista subdivision. Two different worlds.
At the conclusion of the hike, we did lunch at Sit-n-Bull then moseyed over to Cheap Charlies for some additional liquid refreshment. As I said, that was an exception to the early in the day drinking rule.
Came home and took a nap, did a blog post, and then went back into town. Hey, I had a good excuse–I needed to find mama and give her her daily dinner money. It was raining when I found her camped out in front of the Chill Inn, a hotel that hasn’t reopened since the pandemic hit. And since the Chill Inn is practically next door to Cheap Charlies, well, what’s a beer drinker to do?
This morning I did a long hike on my own out to the old Navy base and back, right around 10K. I was feeling it by the time I got back home. I seem to be losing my walking stamina of late.
This tree was in bloom which I thought made a nice juxtaposition with the hillside cemetery. Unfortunately, my lack of photography skills didn’t capture the moment as I viewed it. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts, right?A tranquil morning on the bay.
So, the latest outrage is that in addition to our face masks we are now required to wear a face shield on public transportation.
My latest humiliation. Just when you think it can’t get any stupider, it does.
Now, I don’t ride Jeepneys or trikes all that much. But it just so happens the On-Home for Monday’s Hash is in Calapadayan. That’s too far and too dangerous to walk home from after drinking. Which means I’ve got to figure out how I’m going to carry this shield with me on the Hash. I really hate lugging my backpack on an already tough trail, but I may have no choice. Oh well.
Maybe it’s just me, but I thought this was kinda funny…
That’s it for today, folks!
Just another gnarly post for your viewing pleasure.
It’s not my way to love you just when no one’s looking It’s not my way to take your hand if I’m not sure It’s not my way to let you see what’s going on inside of me When it’s a love you won’t be needing, you’re not free
Please stop pulling at my sleeve if you’re just playing If you won’t take the things you make me want to give I never cared too much for games and this one’s driving me insane You’re not half as free to wander as you claim
But I’m easy I’m easy Give the word and I’ll play your game As though that’s how it ought to be Because I’m easy
Well, for those of you who have been following along with my adventures in love, here’s an update on yesterday’s meeting with the latest woman to trip my triggers.
I’m not going to name the woman here because I don’t want to have to password-protect the post. Let’s just call her Janey. When we arranged the rendezvous Janey had two items on her agenda to discuss–her stress and us. Turns out the stress was not induced by me, rather it all revolved around issues with her current (other?) boyfriend. Now, I’m only getting one side of the story so I take her criticisms with a certain amount of skepticism, but from what she reports the guy does seem to have some odd behaviors. Some of which might even raise some serious concerns about the man’s moral character. I’ll leave it at that for now, but it did seem apparent that Janey is in the “more I learn about this guy, the less I like him” mode. I asked some questions for clarification and to have her think through some of her feelings and fears, but otherwise did not state an opinion or interject myself in her efforts to reach conclusions about the value of the relationship.
One thing that took me aback was just how little time they have known each other. They met in November and only spent a month or so together before the guy returned home. I asked how long he has been coming to the Philippines and Janey said he’s made three trips in all, each approximately six months in length. He met her on his first trip to Subic last year. Apparently things moved fast after that. I have to say though the guy doesn’t strike me as too bright. Who in the hell buys a house in a town he has only visited once? And puts the damn thing in the name of a woman he’s spent only a month with. Rookie mistakes for sure. It might just turn out he’s going to pay a high price for his ignorance.
Don’t lead me on if there’s nowhere for you to take me If loving you would have to be a sometime thing I can’t put bars on my insides My love is something I can’t hide It still hurts when I recall the times I’ve cried
But I’m easy I’m easy Take my hand and pull me down I won’t put up any fight Because I’m easy
And so now it was time to talk about “us”. Janey essentially wanted to know if there was still an us. I reminded her that I had already said that I was taking a step back to allow her to decide the future she wanted to pursue without pressure or influence from me. I told her my feelings hadn’t changed but given the circumstances, there was nothing I could do about pursuing a relationship. She was already in one. I wanted more but considering she didn’t even want to be seen with me in public I would just have to content myself with biding my time until she made a decision. I reassured her that I would still be here for her anytime she needed me as a friend or someone to talk to.
I guess she was okay with that because we went upstairs and had amazing sex.
When we were finished I fed her some meatballs I had prepared in the crockpot. Then I put on some music. The playlist had a country sound going on and when Darius Rucker’s “Wagon Wheel” came on I gave her some twists and turns in her first experience with country swing dancing. She seemed to enjoy that.
And a bit later when Keith Carradine’s “I’m Easy” played I tried to sing along but got a little choked up. I guess it hit a bit too close to home.
When it was time to leave I accompanied Janey to the highway. She preferred to walk rather than take a trike so I said my goodbyes. No hug or kiss, of course, we were in public. It still felt weird somehow.
So, I don’t know if anything was resolved or not. At this point, I don’t feel ready to walk away but I’m prepared to go on with my life in the interim. Perhaps Janey is feeling the same way. She sent me this message this morning:
I want to be happy, I don’t want to be sad anymore… If you find something more than me just go ahead baby. I don’t want to hold you back. I love you but I want you to be happy. Life is so short.
That works for me I guess. It’s not like I have any choice. I’m easy.
Don’t do me favors, let me watch you from a distance ‘Cause when you’re near, I find it hard to keep my head And when your eyes throw light at mine It’s enough to change my mind Make me leave my cautious words and ways behind
That’s why I’m easy Ya, I’m easy Say you want me, I’ll come running Without taking time to think Because I’m easy Ya, I’m easy Take my hand and pull me down I won’t put up any fight Because I’m easy Ya, I’m easy Give the word, I’ll play your game As though that’s how it ought to be Because I’m easy
The internet truly is forever. Or so it seems. I had an email this morning from a stranger. He’d read something I posted on a forum back in April 2017 and wondered how things had worked out for me. And so I briefly related the sad details of that unhappy ending.
That forum post had been called “A brand new plan” and detailed the soul-crushing history that had led me to give up on love completely forevermore. My new plan was simply to hire someone to provide all the things a lover might without the baggage that love brings with it. I had already found the perfect woman for the job and was sending her to school to learn the caregiver trade. I was quite smug in my belief that I had it all figured out.
And then I fell in love with her. And then she broke my heart. It’s going on three years now and I’ve mostly gotten over it. And for the first time since then, I find myself falling in love again. With a woman who is already in a relationship. It’s a little scary when I consider the parallels with what happened to me and what could potentially happen to my new love’s boyfriend. It ain’t pretty and I’m not comfortable with being in this triangle.
It was odd timing that I was led to revisit the past this morning. Because this afternoon I’m having “the talk” with my new love. I had already told her that I was taking a step back to give her the time and space she needed to decide which future she wants to pursue. I got a message from her saying she didn’t sleep well last night because of “stress” and today she wants to talk about “us”. So that’s what we’ll do.
No idea which way this is going to go but I think I’m ready for anything. Frankly, re-reading my old new plan has me thinking that maybe I was on the right track back then before I mucked everything up by falling in love.
I’m anxious to see what is going to happen next.
Love is a rose But you better not pick it It only grows when it’s on the vine A handful of thorns and You know you’ve missed it You lose your love When you say the word “mine”
I wanna see what’s never been seen I wanna live that age-old dream Come on, lass, we can go together Let’s take the best right now Take the best right now
Heh, not sure why I’m channeling R. Crumb this afternoon. I’ve fond memories of his work from my years as a pothead but I ain’t been that kind of dope since the 1970s. Except for that trip to Amsterdam, but that’s another story.
Anyway, today’s story doesn’t amount to shit but that won’t stop me from telling it. Hey, it’s what I do! Let’s get started.
I picked up my darts for the first time in months yesterday afternoon. Practiced for an hour and scraped off some of the rust. I don’t deem myself ready for competition just yet though. One of the issues I have is the tourneys start early afternoon and I just don’t like to drink beer that early in the day. What was that? Play without drinking? Seriously? Thousands of comedians out of work and you’re trying to be funny? Ain’t gonna happen.
Although when I went out at my preferred time of 5:00 p.m yesterday and settled down with my first beer it occurred to me that I only had a bit more than an hour before I’d have to make my way home in compliance with the 7:00 curfew. Damn, that’s barely enough time to catch a buzz. It looks like 4:00 will have to be my new normal starting time. Ah, the sacrifices one has to make to fight this damn virus.
The storm surge from this week’s deluge left the beach littered with the litter folks have been dumping in the bay. Disgusting.
I’ve been anticipating an invasion from China but was pretty surprised when I witnessed this on my morning dog walk:
This is just one small section of one street. Every curb in the neighborhood had thousands of these caterpillars making their way to somewhere like they were in rush hour traffic. The photo does not capture the scale of what I’m talking about at all.
I don’t recall seeing these critters in these numbers before. I have no clue what will become of them, what they eat, or what eats them. For sure I’ve never seen them turn into butterflies. Weird times. At least none have made their way into my house. Yet. My neighbor Heidi posted this on Facebook today:
She’s lived here longer than me and seemed surprised by the invasion as well.
The Wednesday walk was more low key than usual. Scott wanted to keep it light and easy, so we just walked the streets of Barretto and Baloy. We got 9K in that way but it was boring.
Well, the Blue Rock floating bar was beached by the recent storms. All the other floating bars had been put into storage months ago. This is why.And that’s pretty much it for this worthless post.
