In La Union

Arrived safely yesterday afternoon after a 3.5-hour drive. The “safely” part is always in doubt, especially when my driver is in heavy traffic on a two-lane highway. He gets pretty damn aggressive; passing on the shoulder, tailgating, and cutting it close when passing in the face of oncoming traffic. Ah, well. It was exciting at least.

I always enjoy seeing new places, partly for the experience but also to see if it may be a potential alternative should the need ever arise for me to relocate. Bauang, the actual city I’m in within the province of La Union, is a pretty enough beach town. There is an elderly expat community and a few bars to serve them, including a couple of girly bars. So I guess I’d fit right in. What I don’t like is being so far away from everything else. In Barretto, I’m just over an hour from an international airport and 20 minutes away from malls and grocery stores that cater to my needs. I just don’t think I’d deal well with feeling so isolated. That’s my first impression at least.

This is the place I’m staying. Not up to my standards but convenient to the Hash events. At least I stayed here because it is where everyone else in my group is staying. Very uncomfortable bed though.
This little bar is right next door to my hotel and I enjoyed quaffing some brews in here yesterday.
I asked my waitress if I could get a photo of her uniform. I thought it a little funny that I hang out at Alley Cats in Barretto. Plus, she has a sweet ass.
The Blue Cat is an expat hangout and also a Hash venue. The guy on the right actually moved here from Barretto six years ago with his wife and child. He says he couldn’t stay out of the bars in Barretto. Well, you see where I met him.
After the sun went down, we moved up the highway to one of the girly bars. I honestly didn’t like it and bailed out pretty early. Got back to Blue Cat before 9 and it was already closed! I guess these old fuckers are early birds…
I was up early this morning and neither my hovel hotel restaurant or Blue Cat was open. So, I walked up the highway looking for a place to get some coffee. Found a nice hotel and they were open for business. Wish I’d stayed here. Next time!
After breakfast, I took a long walk on the beach. Much cleaner than Barretto.
I wonder what the story is here…
…it was like a ghost town on the beach. I’m guessing damage from a long-ago storm…
I live on a bay so it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a surfer…
It was a lovely morning for a walk on the beach…

And now it is beer o’çlock and my Hash mates are waiting. More to come!

Eisoy pisoy

Typhoon Eisoy blew threw town last night. No damage, just some rain, wind, and the requisite power outage that comes when there is more than a breeze. Went to bed in the dark but when I woke up to pee the power was back on. I was pleasantly surprised at the quick fix.

Fixin’ to head on out to La Union. Five other Hashers will be sharing space in my driver’s Toyota van. Done it before and it’s not uncomfortable, but then again, I’m riding shotgun. That’s the privilege that comes with paying.

Had a nice chat with Ilene this morning, she wanted to be reminded what her new Hash name is and what it means. I gave her the generic definition of hot to trot–“ready and eager to engage in an activity” but also felt obligated to mention that the context it is most often regarding sexual activity. She seemed okay with that and mentioned she was happy she didn’t get one of the crude/rude names our kennel is famous for. She also shared this photo from Monday’s naming ritual:

Hot to Trot on ice. It was nice that we could Cum Together like that. The other guy on ice is our Grand Master, H.I.V. (Humongously Infected Vagina).

During our conversation this morning Ilene mentioned she has two kids, girls aged 14 and 10. Well, that should be enough for me to keep her firmly in the “just friends” category. Been there, done that, got the fatherhood t-shirt already.

So, that’s it for now. I’ll keep y’all posted on my impressions of La Union and my first ever Haggis Hash.

Oh, and I baked up some blueberry muffins for the ride to La Union.

Sundown

Feeling the effects of a passing typhoon here today, leaving me a lazy and rainy afternoon to abide. Tomorrow I will be changing my perspective with a four-day visit in La Union. Weather ought to be better by then, if not my attitude. Yeah, I’m in a foul mood. And no, I’m not ready to talk about it.

Here are some photos from yesterday’s Hash:

I was not happy with the trail. Vienna Sausage (Günter) was the Hare and he incorporated four outrageous climbs, including Mother Fucker, into his trail. It was ridiculous and impossible for the walkers to finish before dark. I and many others did some shortcutting (the orange trail).
The Hashmobile was jam-packed and uncomfortable.
We got dropped off and had a short walk on the highway...
…and then began our ascent up the first mountain via these stairs…
…up and up we go…

…the stairs eventually gave way, but the climb did not.
Finally some mostly level ground.
After bypassing one of the climbs, we began to make our way back down.
Some hazy skies, but still a nice view…
You often encounter downed barbed wire on trail, but it is unusual to see it at eye level. It’s especially hazardous because most of the time I’m looking down at where I’m planting my feet. I was warned about this strand though so no cuts for me!
It was a pigpen near the bottom.

Anyway, from this point, the trail went back up again and it was already a little past 5:00 and it gets dark around 5:30. So I was done with the trail and hoofed it back to the on-home at Johan’s on Baloy Beach. I arrived in time to see this:

A colorful end to a shitty trail.

A couple of points of interest at the circle. We celebrated a birthday in the traditional Hash fashion:

By making a cake.

The other event of interest was the naming of a Hasher who completed her fifth Hash. This process involves the unnamed being interviewed by the group and then potential names are suggested and voted on. The unnamed was Ilene, whom I mentioned before as a bit of a (one-way) crush. Anyway, Ilene professed to like horses and I knew she was into running. And she’s attractive. So, the name I came up with was “Hot to Trot” and in a close vote, she was duly named.

That’s Hot to Trot participating in an event known as the “Spartan”. And that’s about all I know about it, other than it involves five contests. Apparently one of them is carrying around heavy shit. I don’t know, I lifted the photo from her Facebook page.

Met a virgin to the Hash named Chris (male) who is a military retiree who just recently moved to Barretto. He did a couple of tours of duty in Korea so we had that in common. He indicated he might be joining us in La Union. Welcome to the Hash!

And that’s it for now. Some bad stuff happened after the circle that I’m still processing. In the end, it will probably turn out for the best. For now, I think I need to go get drunk.


She’s been lookin’ like a queen in a sailor’s dream
And she don’t always say what she really means
Sometimes I think it’s a shame
When I get feelin’ better when I’m feelin’ no pain
Sometimes I think it’s a shame
When I get feelin’ better when I’m feelin’ no pain

I can picture every move that a man could make
Getting lost in her lovin’ is your first mistake
Sundown you better take care
If I find you been creepin’ ’round my back stairs
Sometimes I think it’s a sin
When I feel like I’m winnin’ when I’m losin’ again

Home sweet home

Be it ever so humble and all that jazz, it’s good to be back and into the swing of my so-called life. I think being away for even a few days helps give you perspective. Sometimes I lament the meaninglessness of it all in an “is that all there is?” kind of way. But hey, I’m retired, I’ve made my contributions to society and I have the pension to prove it. For me now my job is to not lament what I’ve lost, not to regret what I don’t have, and to be satisfied with the life I’ve chosen in the here and now. Knowing I can always change my life should the need arise.

So for a retired guy, I guess you could say I do lead a pretty active lifestyle. I’m out walking every day of course. That’s a healthy thing to do and I occasionally even enjoy it. I’ve got a couple of Spotify music playlists I’ve created, Walk and Roll and Walkaholic, that helps pass the steps when I’m out and about. And of course, there’s the nightlife.

Last night’s welcoming committee from Cheap Charlies. Do they really like me or is it just my peso-nality? Does it matter? I enjoyed myself and they liked the pasalubong I provided. The beer was cold and I was happy. That’s got to be enough.

So yeah, I have my favorite hangouts. Some are for darts, like Alley Cats. Some feature my kind of music. And others are just good places to sit and chat with my fellow expats. I’ve mentioned before that Barretto often feels like a big retirement community. We are all kind of in it together and making the best we can of whatever remains of our time amongst the living. If that constitutes settling, then I’ll settle for that.

And it’s not all about bars and women.

I’ve got my boys to keep me company too.

This is the life I’ve chosen and I’m going to try and live it without regret.

Oh, Facebook reminded me this morning of another walking milestone in my “career”.

I highly doubt this threshold will ever be broken again in my life. But I’m glad I did it. Once.

Today I participate in a social activity that involves both of my pastimes–walking and drinking. Yep, I’m talking about the Hash. And in other Hash news, this week I’ll be making a road trip to La Union (about 4 hours north of here) to participate in the Haggis Hash there. I’m not sure what all that involves, we’ll do a walk on Friday and a bar crawl that night. A walk on Saturday and then the “games”. No idea what that’s going to entail, but I reckon I’m going to find out.

So stay tuned and thanks for joining me for the ride of my life here at LTG.


And when I was twelve years old
My daddy took me to a circus
“The Greatest Show on Earth”
There were clowns and elephants and dancing bears
And a beautiful lady in pink tights flew high above our heads
And as I sat there watching
I had the feeling that something was missing
I don’t know what
But when it was all over, I said to myself
“Is that all there is to a circus”

Is that all there is
Is that all there is
If that’s all there is, my friends
Then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
If that’s all there is

Goodbye (again) Korea!

My short visit to Korea has now reached its conclusion. All in all, it went much better than the previous trip. I think going for five days versus two weeks helped. I also was mostly successful at defending myself from sad memories whenever they attacked, sending them back to the past where they belong.

Otherwise, my only real takeaway was that as much as I love Korea it is no longer home. Even the familiar places are not all that familiar now. Just as an example, Shenanigans was my favorite hangout for years. Last night they had a big crowd and a happy buzz. But with just a couple of exceptions, none of the faces were familiar. That’s natural of course, I’ve been gone quite a while now. But I found myself missing my life here in the Philippines. I came away knowing that this is where I belong. It’s good to be back!

Had some good times though and I’ve already recounted those on the blog. You can read Kevin Kim’s take on our massive hike and tasty meal here. Thanks again!

So after a couple of beers with the nephew, I called it an early night. My flight departed at 7:55 a.m. and the best way I could find to Incheon was by the airport limo bus. That required getting up at 0400 and catching the bus at 4:40.

The stop was right in front of my hotel which was convenient at least. I was the only passenger at that ungodly hour when I boarded. We did pick up several more en route though.

I was on Korean Air which meant departing from Terminal 2. It’s a bit longer trip and we didn’t arrive until 6:15. That’s cutting it closer than I like, especially for an international flight. But I was in business class which meant no long wait to check-in. I got my boarding pass and checked my bag then headed to security, which was just opening (so I forgave myself for not taking the earlier bus). And as usual, my vapes triggered a secondary screening of my carry on bag. The guy asked why so many batteries (I had brought 7 and purchased 12 more to bring home with me). I explained that the 12 were replacements as my current batteries were wearing out. So, it was all good and I proceeded on through immigration without a hitch.

Once in the terminal, I went to one of the duty-free stores to purchase some pasalubong, the Filipino gift-giving custom expected of returning travelers. I had some Won I needed to dispose of anyway, so I’ll make some bargirls smile with trinkets and sweets.

When it came time to board the plane, my boarding pass set off a beep and I was pulled aside. The agent asked if I had e-cigarettes in my checked luggage. I responded of course not, that’s isn’t allowed. She told me to hold on, they were sending a picture. And sure enough, one of my vape pens had made its way into my checked bag. All I can figure is that I left it in a pocket and inadvertently packed it with my dirty clothes. I was relieved to learn my bag was on the plane and with no time to retrieve my e-cig I told her to just trash it. Damn, my vaping habit is getting to be a pain in the ass, isn’t it?

I do enjoy the comfort and friendliness of Korean Air. And the hot flight attendants.

I reclined my seat, stretched out my legs and settled in for a cozy and comfortable trip home.

We landed at Clark Field a few minutes early and I was the first person off the plane. Made it through immigration in a flash and then headed to baggage claim where I waited. And waited. And waited some more. I finally asked what was going on and was told there was only one baggage crew on duty and they were busy unloading another flight. And so I did what I’ve trained myself to do–took a deep breath, relaxed, and accepted the Filipino way.

After about 30 minutes the first bag appeared on the carousel, and mine was the third one to come out. I grabbed it and hustled over to customs. Where I encountered a long line (the plane that had been unloaded before ours apparently). Ah well. For whatever reason, they x-ray bags coming off the plane at Clark. When I reached the machine, the operator said just my carry-on bag had to go on the belt. Hmm. I got a bit nervous because I had all those vapes and the President here has decreed them verboten. I guess the operator didn’t notice them or didn’t care, so I grabbed my bag and headed out to meet my driver.

Donny was there waiting, which I appreciated. On the drive home I had him stop at one of my favorite restaurants on the old Navy base–Texas Joe’s.

I enjoyed me some pulled pork, beans, and slaw. Donny had some baby back ribs.

It’s good to be home!

Dog tired

What a way to spend my last day in Seoul! My buddy Kevin Kim shamed enticed me into taking a hike from his residence in Daechang out to Bundang, “only” 18 kilometers upriver. Now, I’ve marched that distance before, but never in one continuous walk. My normal routine is to do a morning hike, nap, then another afternoon hike. Well, it seemed like a challenge I’d have to try to accomplish, and so we set out bright and early this morning on our quest.

Noksapyeong subway station was pretty quiet at 0700…
It was pretty chilly too, just a tad below freezing…
What the fuck have I got myself into?

Got to Kevin’s place right about 8 and he was waiting outside and rarin’ to go. I hadn’t eaten anything, not even a cup of coffee, but we set out on our journey anyway. I thought I might see a convenience store along the way, but that was a big nope. So, I hiked hungry. My grumbling belly took my mind off the pain in my legs and feet, so there was that.

Getting started.
The waterway we followed…
A stable water crossing…I appreciated that after all those scary bridges in the Philippines.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Winter water…
Here’s the satellite view of the path we walked. It looks shorter from space.

It took us right at four hours to finish the hike. Then we jumped on a crowded subway back to Kevin’s place. He had promised to make my starvation worthwhile and he kept that promise!

Some fresh-baked chicken roulade…
And a plate full of Thanksgiving leftovers made for a damn fine meal.
Whatever may have remained of my hunger pangs was satiated with this generous portion of bread pudding. Damn it was good!

Shortly after our meal, I could feel myself fading away. I’d missed my daily nap and that long-ass hike had sucked all the energy from my body. So, with aching legs and a full belly, I said my goodbyes to my gracious host. Thanks again, Kevin!

It was good exploring new paths in an unfamiliar part of town. I couldn’t have done it without you!
But man are my dogs tired!

Feeling Seoulful

Back in Seoul after an uneventful final night in the village of Anjeong-ri. And I’m pretty certain it was indeed the final time I’ll have a reason to venture out to Pyeongtaek. There’s really nothing there for me now. I wish I had appreciated the good things I had when I was living there but perhaps coming to understand and accept what was, and finding peace with that, made this trip worthwhile. It’s all in the past now and I come away knowing that my life in Barretto is where I belong. At least for now.

Two nights and a day left on this trip here in Seoul. I’ll be with the nephew and a couple of friends tonight for dinner and some drinking. Tomorrow I’ll be meeting up with Kevin Kim, the famous Incheon to Busan walker, for a “pleasant” five to six-hour hike to Bundang, wherever the hell that is. I’m a bit nervous because that’s about twice as far as I normally walk in a day, and my walks are broken up into morning and afternoon segments. Should be interesting to see how my body responds. Especially in this cold weather. Kevin is also planning a home-prepared meal for after the hike, assuming I survive.

It should be an interesting last day in Korea.

Thanks for giving me this day

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I’m trying to keep my focus on all that I have to be thankful for in life, not the things that I’ve lost and miss. It’s still a struggle at times, but thus far I’m doing much better at avoiding being sucked into the memory hole this trip.

Last night I had a pleasant pork galbi dinner with my former Deputy. She doesn’t drink, so we parted company after we finished our meal. I met up with an old dart buddy and his wife afterward and we caught up over some beers. We said our goodnights at a bar I used to frequent named Arirang. I was sweet on one of the bartenders there back in the day, but alas, she was not at work, she was playing a pool league match.

Next, I ventured over to another of my old haunts, Horse and Cow. I was greeted warmly by the owner, a woman I know only as “mama”.

That’s me saying my goodbye to Mama on my last night before moving to Korea.

Horse and Cow has some history for me. It was where I was the night Loraine sent me her devastating breakup text message. It was also where I met and very briefly dated a Filipina bartender named Joy. Oh man, did that end badly! It was my fault and she was unforgiving. So I was very surprised to see her working last night (she had quit the bar right around the time of our breakup). She didn’t seem all that happy to see me again, but at least she responded to my greeting. She hadn’t spoken to me since the night I called her a f’n bitch (yelled it actually) on the street. Long story that I’m not going to retell now. Anyway, I decided to move on to another bar.

Crystal Bar was another regular stop on my circuit back in the day. And once again I was given a hearty welcome from an old friend working the bar, Seonnyeo.

That’s her on the right…

And wouldn’t you know it? Hana, the girl from Arirang, was playing her pool league match at Crystal. She came over and greeted me as well.

I really liked this one, but sadly it was not a mutual attraction. Then or now.

Anyway, I bought Seonnyo a lady drink, finished my beer and headed out. A few minutes later I received this message from her:


Handsome John! Thanks for you stop by crystal tonight!
you’re not forgot here
I’m so glad to see u again tonight. It was ssooo surprised me!

Ain’t that sweet?

I popped into the bar next door, one I had kind of scratched off my list of places I’d visit when I still lived here. I was somewhat taken aback to be greeted by name by a woman I didn’t recognize. She told me that another woman I briefly dated, Mi Young, and her had gotten into a fight about me. The explanation was a bit fuzzy or I was a bit drunk, or both, but I had no recollection of anything like that happening. Strange. Anyway, she’s a Filipina and a new Facebook friend:

Nice to meet you (again?) Bon Ivy!

Prudence prevailed and I headed back to my hotel shortly thereafter.

Met up with my old team today for a non-traditional Thanksgiving feast. And when I’m in Korea, that means grilled meats.

Fire it up!
Chowin’down!

I was a bit melancholy when after a coffee shop waffle dessert I said my goodbyes. Likely for the last time. It was a good run, but time moves forward, not back.

I walked to the hotel from the coffee shop, a path I often walked when this is where I lived. And then I passed a small store with some hiking pants on display outside. I went inside not hopeful they’d have my size, but after trying on two pairs, one of them actually fit! So for only W12,000 my upcoming massive hike on Saturday will at least be somewhat more comfortable from the waist down.

Some Mexican food and another bar crawl are on tap for tonight.

And life goes on.

Chosun one

Greetings from Korea! Just a quick post to update my faithful followers on the journey thus far.

No issues getting here which is always a plus.

I flew out of the Philippines on Korean Air and enjoyed this nice large business class seat. Yeah, I paid a premium for the privilege.

Another nice perk is being one of the first off the plane. I got through immigration in five minutes or so, and my bag with “priority” handling was one of the first off the plane. Exchanged some dollars for Won then I scooted out to the AREX and caught the express train to Seoul Station with barely a wait.

If I had any trouble on the trip at all it was with the cab I caught to take me to my lodging. I took the first taxi in the queue and said “Crown hotel Itaewon please”. The driver looked at me and either he didn’t understand or didn’t know where the hotel was. So, I repeated again with the same response. Finally, a little frustrated, I just said “Itaewon, near Noksapyeong Station.” He seemed to understand that and off we went. Now, the route he took had me shaking my head, certainly never the way I’ve gone from Seoul Station before. We wound up going through the Namsan tunnel but the roundabout way got us there. Truthfully, it probably didn’t add much if anything to the fare. The fare was around W8,000 and all I had on me was 50,000 notes. He looked at me like I was crazy and said “pay with card!” I guess he meant the T-money card, but I don’t have one. So I told him to wait while I go inside to get change. He did, I did, I paid, tipped, and he left. In retrospect, I honestly think he didn’t know where the hotel was located.

So, after checking in and dropping off my bags I hurried out to Shenanigans to meet my friends Wan Jun and Becky. They were waiting when I arrived. We enjoyed a couple of beers and some chat and then called it a night. I drank the local OB draft beer (W3500) because I just couldn’t bear to pay W7000 for a San Miguel beer I can buy for a buck back home.

I was up earlier than normal this morning, mostly due to the fact that Korea time is an hour later than my body says it is. Showered, dressed and caught a cab (without incident) to Yongsan Station.

Rode this ITX train to Pyeontaek station and it took less than an hour. A nice ride. Korea definitely has first world infrastructure!

Another cab ride from Pyeontaek to my hotel in Anjeong-ri. Too early to check-in, so dropped my bags and had a look around town. Not much has changed since my last visit, although I noted a couple of new bars have opened and some business I didn’t think would make it remain open. I had another hour to kill before my lunchtime engagement so naturally, I took a walk.

I did the river walk and I could definitely feel the chill in the air. Well, technically, I felt it in my lungs. Cold air and COPD is apparently not a good combination. Hopefully, I’ll get acclimated to it before my big hike on Saturday.

I crashed joined the party as my former staff honored the retirement of Mr. So after 49 years of service with USFK.

Good luck to you and enjoy your1 well-earned retirement

Got dropped off at the hotel after lunch and took a much-needed nap. Tonight I’m having dinner with my former Deputy to get caught up on all the happenings. She’ll be leaving for a new job in the States next month and part of the motivation for this trip was to give her a proper goodbye.

After dinner, I plan to visit some of my old haunts (yeah, I mean the bars). So far at least I’m keeping the past in the past and just trying to enjoy myself. I guess my insight is that I didn’t let myself enjoy my one year living here because I was too busy swimming in self-pity. Ah well, that was then, this is now.

Stay tuned.

Lounge lizard

Greetings from Clark International Airport in less than lovely Angeles City. I’m currently ensconced in the Korean Air lounge with an hour to kill before boarding my flight to Incheon. So I’m going to kill it with you.

How long is the trip between summer and winter? Well, today it’s gonna be a four-hour journey. Since winter does not exist in the Philippines I do not possess much in the way of cold weather garments. I did rummage through the guest room closet to see what I might have stashed in there after the move.

Turns out I do have a jacket. Now, that’s not a winter coat by a long shot but it’s a start…

And I have my old 8th Army sweater that I can wear underneath the jacket…
And if things get really cold I can wear this sweatshirt under the sweater.

I guess that’s as prepared as it’s gonna get for me. Wish me luck! (I have no idea why those last two photos are coming up sideways, I didn’t save them that way. Sorry!)

Had an okay Hash yesterday, the Hare, Almoranus, gave us a steep climb up the big mountain. But once up top, his trail took us on a gentle downward trajectory to the beach and we walked the beach most of the way back to our on-home at Midnight Rambler. Here are some photos from the journey:

The short version of the trail was about 7.5K…
Offloading from the Hashmobile…
And after crossing the highway we immediately began our ascent.
This bridge wasn’t really so bad compared to some I’ve crossed…
Looking back down at the bay as we climb…
A mountain home.
So, whenever I start bitching about how tough it is on the trail it seems I see something that humbles me…
Looking down on Olongapo City from our mountaintop vantage point.
Back down on the beach…
It was high tide so that meant climbing over some big rocks or wading in the water. I climbed, Pubic Head waded.
Safely back “on-home” in time to enjoy a sunset on the bay.

Alrighty then. Time to say so long to the Philippines for now. Korea here I come!

Time travel

Making final preparations for my trip to Korea tomorrow. In some ways revisiting my old haunts feels almost like traveling back in time. Except I know what the future holds. On my last trip, I wound up getting overwhelmed by memories and got depressed enough that I cut the visit short. I’m playing it safe this time by limiting myself to five days in country. Yeah, I’m pathetic I know.

Speaking of time travel, I came across this YouTube clip that is actually quite funny. I sometimes fantasize about having a time machine but I think the video makes a valid point about the physics involved, albeit in a humorous fashion. It’s only five minutes long, give it a watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=329&v=vBkBS4O3yvY&feature=emb_logo

Of course, Facebook takes me back in time on a regular basis through its memories feature.

That’s me seven years ago…

And this is the crowd I used to hang with. The bar, Bull and Barrel, is long gone as are most of the people. One dead, one in jail, a couple deported, others went home. Me? I got divorced and moved to the Philippines. Everything changes.

What else? Well, how about this article about the evolution of a dog’s love. I don’t know about the science involved, but you should hear my two go nuts when I come home after a night on the town. You’d think I’d been gone for years. Buddy stands on his hind legs and actually gives me hugs. It’s pretty damn sweet, that’s for sure.

“Play dead, Lucky!” Heh, I wish I could train him that good. That’s just the way he sleeps. He’s actually quite stupid, but he’s a good boy…

I went ahead a purchased the premium plan for my Spotify music app. It works so much better than YouTube for hiking entertainment, especially given the spotty data network in these parts. Plus there are no commercials and I’m able to build playlists so I like every song I hear. I’ve made two lists so far–“Walk and Roll” and “Walkaholic”. Good stuff!

I did a pleasant 8K valley hike yesterday. I’m scheduled to be the Hare on December 16, so I might just piss off the masochists with a nice flat trail. We’ll see.

Alright, time to finish packing and get ready for today’s Hash. I saw part of the trail on this morning’s walk, so I reckon the Hare’s are taking us up the big mountain again. Bastards!

Everything’s Archie*

Greetings from Zambales province on the lush, lovely, and large island of Luzon. Most days here are like every other day, not that that’s a bad thing. At least for me. While walking the dogs this morning I still noticed how beautiful the bay and mountains are, even though I been seeing the same view almost every day for 18 months now. I’m glad about that.

Last night found me playing darts at Alley Cats and at the end of the evening my partner and I had secured first place money. It was a particularly satisfying victory because it required beating Steve, the Englishman who doesn’t drink, twice. Neither of us had a particularly strong partner so it was almost as if we were playing mano a mano. Steve is probably the best overall dart player here in Barretto, and certainly the most consistent. He was throwing very well last night but somehow I managed to play up to his level. I was actually quite surprised by my performance, especially given that I just haven’t been throwing much of late.

To the victors go the spoils, or in this case, P700.

I also had a pleasant 7K afternoon hike yesterday. I’m still finding excuses to stay out of the mountains. Some might call that laziness but I prefer thinking of it as prudence. There I said it. The recent break-in at the house made me realize that I’ve been pushing my luck. Getting lost or hurt or worse in the wilds all by my lonesome just doesn’t have much appeal. Maybe it’s just a phase and I’ll regain my confidence once the thatch grass has dissipated. We’ll see.

Speaking of mountains, here’s the one we dub “Easter” as seen from the beginning of my walk.
And here it is from a closer vantage point as I passed by on my mostly flat path.

Speaking of walking, next week I’ll be walking in Korea. Just like I was two years ago. Thanks for reminding me, Facebook:

I hope it doesn’t snow while I’m there. My winter wardrobe is as non-existent as winter is in the Philippines.

It’s gonna be a short five-day trip–three nights in Seoul and two in Pyeongtaek. Hopefully, I’ll handle the memories better this time.

My driver has been out of town, so I did my normal Tuesday grocery shopping on Sunday. And while there I saw something I’ve never seen before (and for an old fucker like me, that’s saying something), a church service being conducted inside the supermarket. A Catholic service from all appearances. It struck me as quite bizarre.

“Honey, I’m off to church now.”

“Okay dear. Grab some milk while you are there.”

Good luck with that. When I couldn’t find any fresh milk a clerk advised it was out of stock. Most Filipinos drink milk from cartons on unrefrigerated shelves. I still can’t get my mind around that.

And so it goes.

*For those who are too young to get the 1960s pop culture reference in the headline–Everything’s Archie is like saying everything’s cool. Maybe not peachy keeno, or even far out, and definitely not groovy, but still alright. Ya dig? Now you know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0xDb05OxBI

Only in the Philippines

According to this YouTube video, there are “14 reasons the Philippines is different from the rest of the world.” Well, 15 if you count the fact that this is the only country in the world where I currently reside. Anyway, some of them I didn’t know, some are interesting, and some seem more like hyperbole than facts. If you’ve got eight minutes or so to kill, give it a watch.

Up in smoke

Well, ’tis the season after all. Burning season I mean.

This moring’s view of Easter mountain was marred by the residual effects of all those fires the locals insist on starting.

What are they burning? Sometimes trash, sometimes brush and the like. Now, having experienced the crazy growth of that tall and irritating thatch grass I can perhaps dispense with some tolerance for the need to burn that shit up. Still, it does nothing for the air quality around here, that’s for sure.

Speaking of smoke, President Duterte has decreed that henceforth vaping will be banned in the Philippines. That really sucks for me, because I’m a prolific vaper. And folks, vape clouds are not smoke, any more than fog is smoke. Anyway, the practical impact on me is as yet to be determined. I’ve been allowed to vape in most bars since it was previously not included in the smoking ban statutes. I expect that I will soon be denied that privilege. Alas, it seems escaping the nanny state syndrome is becoming more and more difficult. I’m a guest in this country, so I reckon I’ll just have to shut up and suck it up. I guess if bad things come in threes (burglary, detention) this vape ban completes the trifecta.

Government sucks. I should know.

Oh, that reminds me. I experienced a second home invasion yesterday.

Well, technically these badass red ants stayed outside on my upstairs deck. I decided to let them live. For now at least.

The holiday season is in full swing here. Of course, that’s old news. In the Philippines, Christmas season begins with the first of the “ber” months (SeptemBER, OctoBER, NovemBER, and DecemBER). It was disconcerting to hear holiday music blaring in the malls in the year’s ninth month, but what are you gonna do? Back when I was living in America, I made it a point to never decorate until AFTER Thanksgiving. But now I just go with the flow.

Yes indeed, that is my humble abode all lit up and filled with the Christmas spirit. Such as it is.

I confess part of my motivation was to shame would-be burglars. Or does it look more like an invitation? Oh well, it’s purdy.

Humping it

When you are retired like I am, “hump” day pretty much loses all meaning and significance. Although as a member of the Wednesday walking group I do often spend some time and effort humping it up a mountain.

We did the big one yesterday but to his credit, our fearless leader Gunter didn’t make us climb the trail even he calls “Motherfucker”. The path we did take was plenty tough though. I hereby proclaim it will henceforth be known as “Nasty Bastard”.

Yeah, I was muttering to myself all the way up, but really the main reason I do the group hike is to see new places I wouldn’t explore alone and to push myself a bit harder than I do on my daily walks. Overcoming my inherent laziness and excuse-making is a good thing, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I’ve got some photos from the 8K hike to share, but first I want to post this one:

Via the Facebook memories feature comes this photo of me and my buddy William “Gunny” Tabul from six years ago. Gunny died from prostate cancer last year.

I was also astounded at just how fat I look in that picture. I mean, I’m still carrying around a beer belly, but all these miles I’ve walked since that day have taken their toll. And the photo also reminds me that I’ve lost so much more than weight. Friends like Gunny, James Stoy, and Bridget Werner are gone now. The wedding band on my finger represents the broken promises from the woman I expected to spend the rest of my life with. I guess in a perverted kind of way I did. That man I was back then, fat and happy, the dreams and hopes for the future, the house and everything in it, all gone forever. All that’s left is a dead man walking.

On yesterday’s trail. That’s a new couple that joined us for the first time. The gal is a Filipina and she amazingly walked the entire trail in bare feet. I was damned impressed.
Three-quarters of the way up. The steepest part lies ahead.
A look back from whence we came.
Basketball is probably the most popular sport here in the Philippines. But this court out in the middle of nowhere was pretty shocking regardless.
On up we go.
Oh well.
Horsin’ around.
Flowers in bloom.
Lunch break at the top.

As is our custom, most of the group popped into Cheap Charlies after the hike for rehydration purposes. There was some kind of party going on and the group had quite a spread, including Lechon (roasted pig).

The remains of the day. Er, pig.

Over the hump and back again. Carry on!


One morning I woke up and I knew you were really gone
A new day, a new way, and new eyes to see the dawn
Go your way, I’ll go mine and carry on

The sky is clearing and the night has cried enough
The sun, he comes, the world to soften up
Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice but to carry on

The fortunes of fables are able to sing the song
Now witness the quickness with which we get along
To sing the blues you’ve got to live the dues and carry on

Carry on, love is coming, love is coming to us all

A captive audience

I’m not sure if yesterday’s Hash is best characterized as either a fiasco, a boondoggle, or a clusterfuck. I report, you decide.

Now, for the record, I was really looking forward to this outstation trip to San Narcisco. I imagined hiking through new terrain, ocean views, and sunset on the beach from our on-home at Mopes Resort.

This was the promotional shot posted on the Hash Facebook page. I actually wound up sitting in that exact seat. But let’s just say my view turned out to be a lot darker.

Needless to say, things didn’t go as planned. Let’s get started on the story through pictures:

Our chariot awaits to transport as from Barretto to San Narcisco, an hour up the highway.
Traveling in air-conditioned luxury. Certainly much more comfortable than the Hashmobile.
Upon arrival at our destination, the Hares (Leech My Nuggets and Anal Retentive) provided last-minute guidance and instructions. We were told it was a flat trail approximately 9 KM long.
And then we hit the trail. On-On!
Hashers at work.
Flat and scenic. Just the way I like it! So far, so good.
And then the first sign of trouble–a water crossing. Okay, that’s a Hare’s prerogative. It’s also the reason I purchased shoes that can handle getting wet.
And that crossing was almost immediately followed by this one.
It was nice to be back on dry ground.
The natives seemed friendly.
When you don’t have a lot you appreciate what you do have. I suppose this qualifies as a roof over your head
Now, this was an unusual sight.
A rickety bridge to cross. I figured what the hell, my feet are already wet. So I waded across. Everyone else made it across the bridge just fine though.
And onward we march.
Okay, now this is getting ridiculous. Another water crossing! And this one was deep! Over my waist and we had short Filipinas who don’t swim in the group. One guy was Hashing with his kid and they turned around and went back. A think a couple of others refused to do this crossing as well. I also carry a ziplock baggie for my phone in case of rain, so I put it to good use here. Especially since while I was wading the phone somehow escaped my pocket! Then I heard the person behind me exclaim “Hey, did someone lose a phone?” The damn thing floated inside the baggie. I would have been so pissed if I’d lost my new fucking phone!
One final water crossing. That bridge was useless. At least the water wasn’t deep and I was already soaked anyway.
The final stretch. We saw a Hashmark with the message “beer is near”. That meant we were almost to the beach and a short hike onward to Mopes Resort.
Good thing too!

Hmm. That sign was the first indication of the trouble to come. Up ahead in the distance I could see a group of Hashers congregated around a vehicle. Then I looked behind me and saw several motorbikes approaching. As they got nearer I noticed the men were wearing uniforms and heavily armed. About this time, the group from up ahead had turned around and were walking back towards us, followed closely by a military vehicle. This can’t be good.

And it wasn’t. It seems we had ventured onto land that belonged to the Philippine Navy and we weren’t welcome to be there. We all assumed we were being escorted off the base. It wasn’t exactly the Bataan Death March or anything, but we did go a couple of kilometers before reaching a paved road. Again, we all thought we’d just walk on to the highway and catch transportation back to the on-home resort. Nope.

After standing around awhile, this bus arrived and we were directed to board it. And that’s just what we did. We thought they were driving us to the base gate so we called the Hare’s and told them to send the bus for us there.

But the bus stopped short of the gate, although we could see it from where we were. Which was the base security headquarters building. Now we were told they just needed to get us to all write down our names before we were released. Okay, sure no problem.

I guess 24 Hashers were quite the spectacle. The enlisted guys were all pretty friendly though and even posed with us for a photo op.

After we had filled out our names we were told to wait until the officer on duty came to formally release us. In due course, a couple of officers came by and asked some questions. They had no clue what a Hash is or what we were all about. More importantly, the officer in charge appeared totally indecisive as to what to do with us. We did note that our trespassing had been inadvertent and unintentional. Our mistake was facilitated by a lack of any fences or warning signs that we were in a restricted area. That didn’t seem to make a bit of difference to the officer. Apparently “we should have known better”. Our assurances that it would never happen again didn’t sway him either. So we all stood around while he dithered and dathered and consulted with his staff. The sun went down and there we were standing in the gloom. We could see our bus in the distance, so near and yet so far.

Some of the guys were getting pissed. I was hungry and aggravated, but I also knew that being rude towards our captors was not going to improve our situation at all. Finally, the officer made some kind of decision, then got in a car and left. One of his underlings advised us that we would have to be photographed before we could leave. So, we all stood and posed individually for said photo, and wrote our name once again on a sheet of paper. Now can we go?

Um, no. Not yet. It seems they wanted us to be checked medically so as to preclude any future claims that we had been abused or mistreated. Okay, now I knew this was all bullshit. They were intentionally holding us without recourse for as long as possible. To what end I do not know.

Finally, after we had been held up for nearly two hours they advised we could sign a waiver in lieu of the medical exam. The thought crossed my mind that once we signed they could beat us with impunity. Oh well, I signed anyway. And for some reason, I remembered a Cheech and Chong skit from way back in my stoner days called “sign ze papers”. I hadn’t thought of that in 40 years! Good stuff though. I’m going to embed it at the end of this post. Although it was probably funnier when you’re high.

Anyway, after we had all signed we asked if we could leave. Not yet, someone needed to make an announcement before we left. They did let us call the bus to come to where we were and pick us up, so that was a good sign. Finally, an obese woman in a Navy uniform came out and formally released us, but first, we would all have to be individually called by name and have our nationality added to the previous papers we had signed. And so it was done and we finally departed the custody of the Philippine Navy.

Here’s the trail. I’m not sure if you can see it, but the map indicates where we were captured. So close to the beach. Not sure why they just wouldn’t let us proceed.
Finally got to Mopes. Well, in a roundabout way. The bus couldn’t actually drive all the way to Mopes because the road was too narrow. That meant catching a ride or walking another kilometer. I caught a ride. And oh yeah, as hungry as I was, the food at Mopes still sucked. The beer was cold though.
And we did an abbreviated Hash circle as well. I got gigged for littering on trail (my phone) and was also recognized for completing my 75th SBH3 Hash. It is one I will definitely not forget!

The bus ride home was fueled with more beer drinking and the singing of Hash songs. One of the more popular songs is “Jesus Can’t Go Hashing”. Here’s a sample:


Melody: 
The Battle Hymn of the Republic
Lyrics: 
Jesus can’t go hashing ‘cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus can’t go hashing ‘cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus can’t go hashing ‘cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Chorus:
More beer for all the Hashers
More beer for all the Hashers
More beer for all the Hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

Jesus can’t go Hashing ‘cos his Dad knows all the trails
Jesus can’t go Hashing ‘cos his Dad knows all the trails
Jesus can’t go Hashing ‘cos his Dad knows all the trails
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
(chorus)
Jesus can’t go hashing cuz he turns the beer to wine
Jesus can’t go hashing cuz he turns the beer to wine
Jesus can’t go hashing cuz he turns the beer to wine
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
(chorus)



Anyway, you get the idea. What we do is make up new verses as we go along. And last night this was my contribution:

Jesus can’t go hashing cause he’s in Navy custody

Jesus can’t go hashing cause he’s in Navy custody

Jesus can’t go hashing cause he’s in Navy custody

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

And so ended a cluster fuck of fiascos leading to a day of boondoggles. But I survived.

It’s audio, not video…

A breakfast controversy

I had a pleasant stroll down the beach this morning then popped into Arizona Resort for some breakfast. I was pleased to see my favorite waitress (and Facebook friend) Grace would be my server.

Now, normally I’m an order off the menu kind of guy. But then I noticed they had this build your own breakfast deal going–pick 5 items for P240 ($4.80) so I called Grace over. “Let me have the eggs, bacon, sausage, and…” She stopped me and said, “That’s already 6”. I was incredulous, and told her, no, that’s 3. She said “2 eggs, 3 bacon, and a sausage is 6.” Although we like to tease she was dead serious. So, I looked at the menu again and asked about a waffle. She said the waffle only comes with the build your own breakfast. I took a deep breath, relaxed, and accepted the Filipino way. Then I told her “Okay, give me one egg, one strip of bacon, one sausage, one piece of toast, and one waffle.” She smiled and said yes, po (sir).

Now, I’ll concede that maybe the flyer for the build your own breakfast was a little ambiguous, but it seems to me there is only one reasonable way to read the intent. You get to pick 5 items. What do you think?

After eating my piecemeal (literally) breakfast, I pointed out to Grace that the flyer shows 2 eggs, 2 pancakes, and at least 3 strips of bacon–that’s 7 items by her way of counting. She just shrugged and gave me an “I just work here” kinda look.

Anyway, no big deal. I got my waffle and the rest was more than enough to satisfy my hunger.

I had better luck with the Sunday dinner from Foodies. They offer both roast beef and roast pork. I obviously opted for the pork. Had it served to me while I sat at the bar in Cheap Charlies chatting up my two favorite bargirls, Rose and Maya. Life is good!

Let me hit you with a newsworthy pun:

Yeah, that was painful. Sorry!

Well, we are all God’s children so this should really come as no surprise:

It’s a miracle!

Truthfully, I never vomit from beer. Get me a few shots of whiskey and I’m liable to be all over the place.

Time to head out for our special Hash at San Narcisco. It’s a beautiful area. I’ll try and get some decent photos to share here tomorrow.

Peace out!

Sunday blahs

It seems I’m in a bit of a funk lately. Feeling unmotivated, either because I’m tired or lazy. Or maybe both. Heh, reminds me of the boss saying “John, are you ignorant or just apathetic?” My response: I don’t know and I don’t care! Yeah, that’s as good as it’s gonna get around here today.

Anyway, I’m blowing off my afternoon walk. I’ll make up for it tomorrow. We are doing an “outstation” Hash in San Narcisco, about an hour from here on the South China Sea. Looking forward to the change of scenery.

Took a second place in last night’s darts tournament. Pretty surprising in that I wasn’t throwing particularly well and my partner seemed to be math-challenged. Here’s an example: in the finals, he had a 38 out and one dart left. The ONLY shot in that situation is the double 19. For some reason known only to him, he threw a 13. Non-sensical. Our opponents took full advantage and eliminated us on their next throw. I was glad to be done with it.

Well, here’s something newsworthy–I’m going to criticize someone else’s writing. And that’s a pretty big deal considering all the mistakes I make. Anyway, Sarah Hoyt is a pretty well-known sci-fi writer having published numerous books. I’ve never read any of them though. She’s also a regular contributor over at Instapundit. And she also has her own blog. This morning I followed a link there for the first time.


One of the things that’s puzzling hell out of me is how the democrats are acting this election.

I always assume they have better on the found intelligence than the republicans, because they know not just who is voting for whom, but also all the dead who’ll be voting, how many illegals they can commander, and precisely how many votes they can “harvest.”

Between the “human wave” of illegals, which they credit with flipping Virginia (no, seriously.  The left is saying this. Which makes you wonder if they’re even AWARE of the difference between residence and citizenship. They seem to be convinced if you cross the border, you can vote.  Perhaps that’s why they think our opposition to this stuff is “racist” since they’ve lost the concept of citizenship.) and the fact felons now vote in FL (which means we’ll never win it again. Not until after the troubles.) and btw the same for another state, though I can’t remember which right now, I’d think they’d be sure of victory.

But they’re not acting like they’re sure of victory.  Unless they’re very, very stupid — which, I grant you, is possible.

Sorry, Kevin Kim. That must have made your head explode. Please, please tell me that even on my worst day I’m not that bad! Anyway, I couldn’t read past the quoted portion above. It was just too painful. And that’s from a “professional” writer. Maybe she was drunk.

I’ll leave you with a couple of memes I saw on Facebook that made me smile:

At least she’s good at something!
It’ll fit.

And there’s this. A song by Tom Waits came up on my Spotify playlist during my morning walk. I’d never heard it before and for some reason, it really resonated with me. There might be a blog post about that, but I’m not ready to write it.


Well I hope that I don’t fall in love with you
‘Cause falling in love just makes me blue,
Well the music plays and you display your heart for me to see,
I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me
And I hope that I don’t fall in love with you.

Well the room is crowded, people everywhere
And I wonder, should I offer you a chair?
Well if you sit down with this old clown, take that frown and break it,
Before the evening’s gone away, I think that we could make it,
And I hope that I don’t fall in love with you.

Well the night does funny things inside a man
These old tom-cat feelings you don’t understand,
Well I turn around to look at you, you light a cigarette,
I wish I had the guts to bum one, but we’ve never met,
And I hope that I don’t fall in love with you.

I can see that you are lonesome just like me, and it being late,
You’d like some some company,
Well I turn around to look at you, and you look back at me,
The guy you’re with has up and split, the chair next to you’s free,
And I hope that you don’t fall in love with me.

Now it’s closing time, the music’s fading out
Last call for drinks, I’ll have another stout.
Well I turn around to look at you, you’re nowhere to be found,
I search the place for your lost face, guess I’ll have another round
And I think that I just fell in love with you.

Nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’…

…but it’s free.

Nothin’ much happening and nothin’ much to say. Not that that has ever stopped me from sayin’ it anyway.

A successful night of darts at Alley Cats yesterday. I drew Allen as my partner so at least on paper we were the team to beat. No one did, but a couple of close matches. As is my custom we offered our opponents in the finals to pool and split first and second place money. They agreed, and we put away our darts and focused on the important stuff. Like drinking beer.
Yes, I’ve been turning beer into urine at an amazing rate!
Ain’t she sweet? Didn’t even know we were Facebook friends…

And that really is all I’ve got for y’all today.


Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose,
And nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’ but it’s free,
Feelin’ good was easy, Lord, when Bobby sang the blues,
And buddy, that was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.

UPDATE: Well, geez. I was talking about what a nothing my life was back in June 2017 too. Honestly, looking at the pics from back then (I was in Pyeongtaek) makes me realize that about the only thing that’s changed is my venue. That’s a tad depressing truth be told.

Eye in the sky

More or less. Today’s big adventure was overseeing the installation of some CCTV cameras and a motion detector here at Casa Rosenda. Turns out there’s an American here in the neighborhood he is selling home security devices as a sideline. Interesting guy too, enjoyed meeting him.

The view from the kitchen looking into the dining and office area of my humble abode. You might be able to see my new laptop there on the same desk where my old used to be. I intend to keep a better eye on things this time round.
And the living room. To the left is the sliding glass door where the intruder forced entry into my house. To the right is my front door. I honestly don’t see anyone getting in the same way the thief did again. Without breaking glass anyway. I have the motion detector in this area as well.

The equipment and installation ran me P8200 ($165.), not a bad price for a little peace of mind. I admit I’m still a little skittish, made two trips downstairs for a look around last night. At least now I can just check my phone to see what’s happening.

I kinda hate that I’ve limited my political discussions almost entirely to memes these days, but really what’s the point? Minds aren’t likely to be changed but I remain confident the American people are not as stupid as the deep state powers that be think we are.

Not likely.

Oh well. I’m glad I’m in the Philippines. At least for now.


Don’t think sorry’s easily said
Don’t try turning tables instead
You’ve taken lots of chances before
But I ain’t gonna give any more
Don’t ask me
That’s how it goes
‘Cause part of me knows what you’re thinking…

Don’t say words you’re gonna regret
Don’t let the fire rush to your head
I’ve heard the accusation before
And I ain’t gonna take any more
Believe me
The sun in your eyes
Made some of the lies worth believing

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don’t need to see any more
To know that I can read your mind, I can read your mind, I can read your mind, I can read your mind