Another milestone

Posted on 27/August/2014 by John McCrarey

White line fever, a sickness born
Down deep within my soul
White line fever, the years keep flyin’ by
Like the highline poles

The wrinkles in my forehead
Show the miles I’ve put behind me
They continue to remind how fast I’m growin’ old
Guess I’ll die with this fever in my soul –Merle Haggard

Today marks the anniversary of the commencement of my first journey around the sun of which I have now completed 59 circuits. Man am I tired!

I’ve gotten older but I can’t say I’m all that much wiser. No great insights as I enter the last year of my fifties. Truth is, I’m feeling a little melancholy. It’s not just that with each passing year mortality looms ever larger, it’s more that what once were limitless possibilities and opportunities have been reduced to an uncomfortable understanding that this is what I’ve become and it is all that I will ever be. It has been said that a dreamer lives forever, but I’ll be damned if I can think of a dream that fits me now. Well, other than dreaming of my lost youth which is a fool’s game for sure.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not feeling sorry for myself. Life has bestowed upon me many blessings, including a wife who loves me against all reason. I have healthy children and grandchildren. I’m living comfortably on a generous pension (thanks Uncle Sam!). And despite living a decidedly unhealthy lifestyle I’m in generally good health. Well, the aches and pains that come with age are a constant companion these days, but I’m still climbing the stairs up to the bars on dart nights (and stumbling back down). I see folks all around me who can’t do the things I still do and enjoy, so yeah, I’ve been lucky. And if that’s all there is, by god, I’m gonna keep on doing it for as long as I can.

Perhaps what makes me feel my age the most is that I’m pretty much the oldest guy I know. Meaning almost all the people I spend time with are young enough to be my kids. Or younger. Of course, in my mind (especially after a few beers) I still think I’m thirty. I fear that when I act that way I must be perceived as the stereotypical “creepy old guy” hanging out with the young crowd. But what are you gonna do? I’ve never wanted to live a vanilla life and I’m not about to go “gentle into that dark goodnight“.

I wonder just what makes a man keep pushing on
What makes me keep on hummin’ this old highway song
I’ve been from coast to coast a hundred times before
I ain’t found one single place where I ain’t been before

White line fever, a sickness born
Down deep within my soul
White line fever, the years keep flyin’ by
Like the highline poles

Anyway, happy birthday to me. I have no idea where the road of life will take me next, but I sure as hell ain’t looking for an exit!

Jee Yeun asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I didn’t have the heart to tell her “to be 30”.

I always preferred Graham Parsons and the Flying Burrito Brothers version of the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU0WcW2k2tc

Regarding religion

Posted on 01/August/2014 by John McCrarey

So, I’ve found myself thinking about religion of late. Not in terms of getting me some, just in general. Which is to say I’m not exactly sure where these thoughts are taking me, but bear with me and we’ll muddle through together, okay?

Now, I was pretty much raised in the protestant tradition, at least to the extent that my grandmother dutifully took us to Sunday school every week. I even played steel guitar in a little church band that toured the western states when I was 12. At around 15 or 16 though I entered my rebellious phase and pretty much came to the conclusion that organized religion was all bullshit. I certainly want no part of the Old Testament vengeful and jealous God, nor do I believe the stories of the virgin birth and resurrection. Which I guess means that I ain’t much of a Christian.

Having said that, I do try very hard to be respectful of the religious beliefs of others. I have a couple of Facebook “friends” (meaning people I’ve never actually met in real life) who constantly mock people of faith (usually Christians since they don’t have the balls to publicly criticize Muslims). They are as strident in their atheist beliefs as any other religious zealot I have encountered. In fact, I find their rants every bit as irritating as a knock on the door from a Jehovah’s Witness.

My second ex-wife was a Baptist (the other two ex’s were Catholic and the current wife is Buddhist) and I didn’t object to her taking my young children to church every Sunday. For awhile I attended with them, but damn, I rarely left church feeling uplifted. The sermons tended to piss me off as much as anything. The final straw for me was the Sunday school session where we talked about “free will”. Which was immediately followed by an entreaty to join in a planned march on the state house in favor of anti-abortion legislation. I asked the Sunday school teacher how it could be that God gave mankind free will, but the Baptist church wanted to pass laws restricting choice? I got the old standard reply that it was “a matter of faith”. Whatever the hell that means. The epilog to that incident came when the leader of the anti-abortion contingent got pregnant and was told the fetus did not a brain stem. Yep, she aborted.

So, if I have a problem with religion it’s with the hypocrisy of the adherents. The stuff people do in the name of God makes me want no part of the God they profess to believe in. Oddly enough though, I don’t think of myself as an atheist. I can accept the concept of some intelligence or power manifested in nature and the universe. It’s just not the God you read about in earthly religious texts. The closest I ever felt to this “God” was the night I had an epiphany after making love to my Mormon girlfriend. “God is love” is what I felt in that blessed moment of understanding. The very next day this woman whom I loved like I’ve loved no other broke up with me. Which proves I guess that my God has a whacky sense of humor. Still, I will confess that in times of crisis throughout my life I have found some comfort in prayer. If that makes me a hypocrite too, so be it.

What prompted me to write about religion now I guess is current events. Jews killing Palestinians in retaliation of Palestinians killing Jews. Muslims killing Christians and everyone else who doesn’t adhere to the dogma of that particular sect. All in the name of the same God of course. But that is where any moral equivalence ends. Israel has the right to defend herself. If Hamas doesn’t like civilian casualties, they should stop trying to kill Israeli civilians. And what ISIS is currently doing in Iraq (and the Taliban in Afghanistan) is an affront to all humanity. So, when my liberal friends lament the “war on women” as evidenced by Hobby Lobby not wanting to pay for birth control on religious grounds, I share this photo:

“We have established the brigade to raise awareness of our religion among women, and to punish women who do not abide by the law” –ISIS commander

Now, I want to accept as fact that of the billion or so Muslims in the world, only a relatively small percentage are of the radical Islamist variety that engages in head chopping, stoning, honor killing, and flying passenger planes into buildings. But here’s the thing–I never see protests or outrage from these “moderates” regarding the atrocities being done in the name of Allah. In fact, what I have witnessed is quite the opposite.

I have a couple of Pakistani Muslim friends in Itaewon. Both are smart, kind, and generous. They own a bar I regularly frequent. Both drink, smoke, and have married outside the faith. I guess it doesn’t get any more moderate than that, right? Except they have gone ballistic (no pun intended) over the current conflict in Gaza. I finally had to block one of them on Facebook because I grew weary of the anti-Israel and anti-American (like it’s our fault!) rants. I could match ten photos of some outrageous act being perpetuated in Pakistan for every Israeli impropriety. And at least Israel is acting in self-defense, not out of some misguided belief in religious justification (what, she was raped? We must stone her for being a whore!).

Anyway, I posted the picture above on my Facebook in the context of American politics (the so-called war on women). And my Muslim friend responded that it was “anti-Muslim propaganda”. One of the commenters asked if he was denying the existence of the Islamic State of Iraq (ISIS) and the murderous acts in which they are currently engaged. He responded:

yes ISIS exist and they have broken Syria and Iraq in to parts. They are trying to create a divide in Sunni’s and Shiites. Rumor has it that the leader of ISIS Abu Bakr Baghdadi was trained by CIA and mosad to create chaos in middle east so that the idea of greater Israel can be achieved. I came across a world map issued by the US think tanks in which they have shown 5 middle eastern countries dividing into 15 smaller countries. If u Google it you can find it and then you search for greater Israel map and you will know a secret.

So much for moderate Islam, eh? Suffice to say, I no longer feel comfortable patronizing their bar these days. I have taken an oath to avoid drama in Itaewon and I fear that drinking there may lead me to say some things that will lead to dramatic consequences. And to what end? Clearly, no minds will be changed.

Of course, America’s feckless foreign policy has played a part in what is taking place in the Middle East. Can’t blame God for that, although I can and do blame Obama.

Sorry for the rant. I’m just thinking things are gonna get a whole lot worse before they get any better.

God help us all.

About last night

Posted on 19/July/2014 by John McCrarey

So, I had my typical Friday night of darts at Dolce Vita although somewhat atypically I managed a first place finish. My nephew Justin came by the bar for a couple of beers and then we headed out to the samgyapsal joint I favor.

As is our normal practice the conversation soon turned to politics. And when I start getting wound up my voice gets somewhat intense. Not shouting really, just kind of aggressive. I was in this mode when the waitress came to our table and shushed me. Now, I was taken aback by this because it was just the two of us at the table surrounded by crowded tables of loud Koreans drinking and laughing and enjoying their grilled pork belly. Which is how it should be. I mean, this was not a fine dining establishment. And to be honest about it, I may have been talking louder than normal if only to be heard above the din of the surrounding crowd. As I looked around the room and noticed just how loud everyone else was being I got pissed off.

At that very moment the waitress who had offended me was serving the largest and loudest table of Koreans in the joint. So I turned around and said (probably shouted) “are you going to tell them to be quiet too, or is it only the miguks who aren’t allowed to make noise?” Of course, I said this in English so I’m sure she didn’t understand most of it, but it did appear from her reaction that she got my point. I turned back to my nephew and said “am I wrong?”. He agreed that we hadn’t been louder than anyone else but he said he was embarrassed by my outburst.

I guess in retrospect I am too. This is not the first time I’ve encountered being singled out for noise when Koreans are notoriously loud when dining (especially when soju is involved) and seem to be ignored. But responding to racism with rudeness is not the solution. I’m sure all I did was perpetuate a negative stereotype when I loudly confronted the waitress. I should have just let it go like I normally do I suppose.

I think it is also true that English voices tend to stand out in the crowd so to speak. I’ve noticed it on the subway myself that foreigners always sound louder when they are speaking together. Upon *ahem* more sober reflection perhaps I sounded louder than I was.

Meanwhile, I was again awakened early this morning by noise from the downstairs park. This time it was two ajummas shouting at each other. And so it goes.

Oh, I also doused my keyboard in diet Coke this morning. I did my best to clean it up quickly, but as I feared some of the keys are now not functioning correctly. Which made typing this post especially challenging. Ain’t life grand?

Little orphan Johnny

Posted on 15/June/2014 by John McCrarey

Well, maybe not so little these days.

Walter Lee McCrarey, aka Dad

Today is the day we celebrate Father’s Day in the USA. All that remains of my father are the memories. To be bluntly honest about it, I spent my childhood mostly in fear of my dad. He had a hot temper and was quick with the hand or belt should I stray from the path of good behavior. In later years we argued loudly about politics and rarely saw eye-to-eye on anything.

But he was a good man. Smart, hardworking, and extremely talented in so many ways. He could do just about anything he set his mind on–woodworking was a special gift of his (sadly, that gene skipped a generation). He also loved gardening, camping, the sea, poetry–and in his own unique way–his children.

It’s strange the things that come to mind unbidden. The other day I recalled how my father served as my personal seatbelt back in those long ago days before vehicles were so equipped. During a hard brake, his arm would reach out to keep me from sliding off the seat and into the cold hard steel of the unpadded dashboard. It looked something like this:

I also remember he’d on occasion sing me a song as we drove along. I remember the lyrics as going something like:

Papa writes to Johnny, but Johnny can’t come home No Johnny can’t home Papa writes to Johnny but Johnny can’t come home ‘Cause he’s been on the chain gang too long

Oddly enough, I have never in my life actually heard this song performed. Until today when I found it on YouTube. Either my dad got the lyrics wrong or I’m thinking of a different tune, but the song was hauntingly beautiful regardless. And somehow fitting for the occasion of this fatherless father’s day.

Inspired

Posted on 04/June/2014 by John McCrarey

Blog buddy Kevin (aka the Big Hominid) posted yesterday about a hamburger he mostly enjoyed at one of the on-campus eateries at the university that employs him. Now, it was not just any hamburger mind you, it was an egg-a-burger!

I’ve been a fan of this particular culinary delight ever since my first purchase from a street vendor one long ago (and drunken) night in Itaewon. And now that I’ve acquired a Korean wife I can enjoy them in the comfort of my own home. Like today for instance. When Jee Yeun asked me if I was hungry I immediately thought of Kevin’s post and responded “egg-a-burger!” Through the miracle of the internet you too can partake in the creation (although sadly not the consumption) of this special treat.

Hamburger patty, melted cheese slice, and a fried egg…

Skillet toasted bread slices fresh from Paris Baguette…

…add some cucumber and onion slices…

…ketchup is my condiment of choice, your mileage may vary…

Top it off with some lettuce…

…and the masterpiece is complete! It tastes even better than it looks!

Thanks for the inspiration Kevin!

Observations regarding a parking lot

Posted on 28/May/2014 by John McCrarey

I occasionally spend time out on the back balcony watching the ~~beautiful women walk past~~ world go by, which may seem like a frivolous waste of time. But you’d be surprised by the cultural insights you can derive when you consider the activities taking place in a small parking lot.

I took the photo above this morning around 0800 which is a quiet time given that most hard working Koreans are already out and about working hard. Throughout the day however, the lot is a beehive of activity as people come and go about their business. And generally there are more cars in the lot than there are available spaces. That this is not a big problem strikes me as little short of remarkable.

Take that small blue car parked in the middle of the lot for instance. Now, by my count he has at least three other cars blocked in their spaces. What you can’t see is that the blue car has been left in the neutral gear. So, when the driver of one of those blocked cars needs to go, he simply rolls the offending car out of the way. And anyone else in the vicinity will give a hand with the push. When the lot is full, I’ve seen several cars repositioned in this fashion. It’s an impressive display of cooperation and no one seems to get angry or annoyed at the inconvenience. I just can’t imagine a similar system working so well in the USA, at least without violence or vandalism.

Another thing I see on a daily basis is young women hiding out in the back corner of the lot to sneak a quick smoke. Women may feel comfortable walking about in micro-miniskirts (bless their hearts!) but a female smoking on the street is just not acceptable in polite Korean society. I’m reminded of the story about a Korean-American woman visiting Seoul who was enjoying a cigarette on a busy street corner. Suddenly a Korean man started yelling at her in a language she could not understand. So she just stood there looking at him. Finally in exasperation, he took the cigarette from her, threw it on the ground, and walked away muttering in disgust.

Less frequently (but twice yesterday) I see young couples seeking out the privacy of the parking lot for a quick little make out session. I’m talking kisses and hugs here, nothing obscene. It’s actually kinda sweet. Although I think I should learn to say “hey, get a room!” in Korean. That would be pretty hilarious and maybe make me feel like less of a voyeur.

The world is an interesting place. Or maybe I’m just easily entertained.

Out on the weekend

Posted on 19/May/2014 by John McCrarey

The weather was warm, the darts were hot, the beer was cold. And I’ve got the pictures to prove it!

Kicked things off Friday night with a first place finish in the Dolce Vita tournament…

Early Saturday afternoon we headed out to Yongsan station to catch a train to Songtan…

The station wasn’t too crowded for a Saturday…

The "express" version of the Line 1 train got us one stop past our destination in about an hour...

The “express” version of the Line 1 train got us to Seojungri station (one stop past our destination) in about an hour…

…a short bus ride took us into Songtan city proper…

…where we arrived hungry and a steaming pot of budaejjigae awaited us at a local eatery.

...and so our group of fellow travelers commenced to satiate that hunger. "Movie Star Midori" insisted that we drink and eat, so we did that too...

…and so our group of fellow travelers commenced to satiate that hunger. “Movie Star Midori” insisted that we drink as well as eat, so we did that too…

With several hours to go before the tourney we wisely switched from beverages containing alcohol to those with caffeine…

…at a nice coffee house where we could sit on the street and make a spectacle of ourselves…

Chock full of coffee we moved to Xenis bar to begin the ever important pre-tourney ritual of contemplation and partaking of “aiming fluid”…

We were joined at Xenis by a gaggle of fellow darters who drove down from Seoul to join in the fun…

After a long hard night of drinking darting, I came away with second place money, no small thanks to a great local darter named Tony. I'm not sure just how many vodka bombs he insisted we drink, but it was a lot!

After a long hard night of ~~drinking~~ darting, I came away with second place money, no small thanks to my partner, a great local darter named Tony. I’m not sure just how many vodka bombs he insisted we drink, but it was a lot!

At this point my phone/camera battery gave up the ghost. The tournament ended at midnight and we then taxied to Pyeongteak to catch a train home. The train didn’t leave until 0230, so we had us some Frypan chicken (and beer) to pass the time. Got to our Gireum apartment around 0400, slept a deep and satisfying sleep, then it was back into Itaewon for the Sunday Singles League match that I had the good fortune to win. The nephew then came by and treated us a nice samgyapsal dinner (with beer and soju) which put a nice exclamation point on a ~~drunken~~ darting weekend!

Life is good. Unless you’re my liver.

Dinner and a show

Posted on 11/May/2014 by John McCrarey

Last night we were On the Border. Not the DMZ, rather the Mexican food eatery in beautiful downtown Itaewon. We were guests of my old friend Dennis McPeters and his companion Julie.

The food was the best Tex-Mex I’ve eaten outside of the USA. Jee Yeun is a little ambivalent about Mexican cuisine, but she loved the “Kimchi Taco” featured in the foreground. I also enjoyed my chicken enchiladas in a sour cream sauce…

Dennis had the foresight to make a reservation, which was good because the place was packed with people lining up to get in. We also scored a table overlooking the street. It was a very pleasant evening weather-wise, so the windows were open and the sounds of the city created a nice urban ambiance for our dining pleasure.

A table with a view and refreshing libations made for a pleasant dining experience.

Amongst those sounds of the city was some guy walking up and down the street screaming fire and brimstone into a megaphone. From our perch on the second floor he could be heard but more or less easily ignored. However, after we had finished our meal we had the misfortune of exiting the building directly behind him. As we were walking in the same direction we got the full impact of his evangelism. Well, it was in Korean but Jee Yeun’s translation was that we were basically all going to hell.

As we progressed up the street I was watching the reactions of the passersby to megaphone-man. And the universal reaction was a combination of contempt, disgust, and anger. I’m thinking to myself “man, this guy is driving people away from salvation with his rude message”. Just as I was completing this observation a Korean man did what we were all wanting to do and loudly confronted the screaming bastard. And what happened next was pretty surprising. The “Christian” man put down the megaphone and started fighting with the citizen who told him to shut up. Well, it was a Korean-style fight–mostly some back and forth bitch slapping, but still. I thought it was pretty funny actually and was shouting encouragement from the sidelines “oh, you are such a good example of Christianity, you douche!” Jee Yeun even joined in by demurely observing “you should not be so loud” (she said it in Korean though). I guess megaphone man realized he had lost the crowd, so he picked up his megaphone again, shouted something angrily, then exited hurriedly down a side street. Man, you just can’t buy that kind of entertainment!

We proceeded to Bull and Barrel for a nightcap without further incident. I made the mistake of signing up for the dart tournament and proceeded to play the worst darts of my “career”. Seriously, the first time I ever picked up a set of darts I played better than I did last night. It was humiliating. Ah well. I’m trying hard to not let this slump get inside my head and exacerbate whatever the hell my problem is.

I guess this is as good a time as any to talk a little about my old friend Dennis. I’ve been knowing him since the 1980s when I recommended him for a job with the USPS in Columbia, SC. Later on after I’d moved to a job in DC, I hired him to work for me there. And still later I brought him over to work on my team in Korea. I’m long gone and he’s still here. But not for long. He’s finally retiring in January.

I frankly envy his post retirement plans. Rather than having himself and all his stuff shipped back to the USA, he’s selling everything he owns and is going to live the life of a nomad. I asked him where he was going to go and he said wherever I want. He mentioned the Philippines, Cambodia, Vietnam, New Zealand, Australia and Thailand as a start. If he gets tired of Asia, South and Central America are on the list of options.

I used to fantasize about a lifestyle like that. But the reality is I wouldn’t have the courage to do it right. But I’m brave enough to fly in for a visit whenever I get an answer to the question “where in the world is Dennis?” So there’s that.

Sick on many levels

Posted on 06/May/2014 by John McCrarey

I’ve caught the dreaded springtime cold. Nothing to be done but suffer through and treat the symptoms as best I can. Last night before I went to bed Jee Yeun had me take one of these:

I assume it’s something along the lines of a Contac capsule. It may or may not be related to the medication but I had a very strange dream that featured the Jethro Tull classic rock anthem “Aqualung”. The gist of the dream was that I had become Aqualung. If you are familiar with the song you know how disconcerting that would be. The lyrics begin with:

Sitting on a park bench eying little girls with bad intent Snot was running down his nose, greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes. Hey Aqualung.

I’ll cop to admiring beautiful young women now and again, and yes, I did encounter some runny nose issues yesterday (which is doubly problematic given my Walrus-stache). But I don’t recall any greasy fingers and my shorts and T-shirt, while casual, were not by any means “shabby”.

Anyway, I’d wake up (or dream I had awoken), think to myself that was weird, go back to sleep only to be confronted by the disembodied voice intoning “you are Aqualung”. That happened a few times and then the dream said “you should blog about this”. WTF? Two times now I’ve dreamed dreams that specifically insisted they be blogged.

When I woke up for real this meaning I said to myself there ain’t no way I’m blogging about Aqualung. Who’s in control here anyway? Me or my subconscious?

The nicest guy I’d never met

Posted on 28/April/2014 by John McCrarey

I reckon I’ve been knowing Kevin Kim (aka the Big Hominid) for going on 10 years now. At least as well as you can know a person by what you read on their blog. He’s a frequent commenter here at LTG as well and we’ve exchanged some emails over the years. He even spent some time in my Korean abode last year, albeit while I was out of the country. But not wanting to rush into anything, we had never actually arranged to meet up in person. Until yesterday.

The setting for this long anticipated gathering in the flesh was the Tabom Brazil steakhouse. Seven meats, all you can eat.

Carved right from skewer and onto your plate via Kevin’s deft handling of the tongs.

I knew Kevin had enjoyed dining at the Copacabana, another nearby Brazilian steakhouse. I’ve always preferred Tabom for its quieter ambiance, street views, and superior food quality. Well, the food yesterday wasn’t quite as good as I’d remembered it. I passed on seconds for at least three of the meat choices (although I had thirds and fourths on the others). The pineapple was outstanding though.

Now, I’ve had the advantage or reading Kevin’s take on our meeting prior to writing my own account. I’d say he gave a fair assessment, although I hope I didn’t come off more as an interrogator than a conversator (I either just made up a word or I don’t know how to spell conversator). Truth be told, Kevin is much more interesting than I am. Once I told him about my passion for darts, websites I visit, and Civilization game play, there wasn’t much else to reveal. I figured I’d save my love of afternoon naps for our next meeting. On the other hand, Kevin is quite the intellectual with a keen interest and grasp of many and varied subjects. It was much more enjoyable for me (selfish bastard that I am) to poke about his brain for interesting tidbits of knowledge.

After reaching our capacity for meat intake, Jee Yeun suggested we retire to a local coffee house. And so we did.

We did engage a bit on some topical issues and current events. Had I been drinking beer instead of coffee I might have become a bit more strident in articulating my positions on the political happenings back home. I think it is fair to say that Kevin and I occupy different points on the political spectrum, although neither of us are in the ~~crazy zone~~ extreme fringe. The give and take with an open minded person who does more than regurgitate trite talking points is something that I quite enjoy. We’ll have to have more of that one day soon!

Anyway, it was a long overdue and a happy (and well-fed) meet-up. After Kevin departed for his train, I retrieved my phone which I had inadvertently abandoned at a nearby watering hole the previous night. Later I played my Seoul Sunday Singles League dart match and won 14-5 which was a fine finish to an outstanding day.

And oh yeah, we took our trash out for recycling today and had no issues whatsoever. Just sayin’.

Sloppy seconds

Posted on 27/April/2014 by John McCrarey

Hell, I must be the Avis of darts. I guess I’ll just have to try harder.

A second place finish is singles to the #1 player in Itaewon is not a bad showing I suppose.

A second place finish in singles to the #1 player in Itaewon is not a bad showing I suppose.

After the tournament we took a short walk down the street to our favorite samgyapsal house where we ate and drank some more.

We were joined by our good friends Koichi and Jiwon along with Jee Yeun’s daughter Sohee…

…and then we made some new friends with the guys who were sitting at the table next to ours. A couple of soldiers and their friend, a former KATUSA.

Jee Yeun especially took a liking to the young soldier coincidentally named John. Henceforth she referred to me as me "old" John...

Jee Yeun especially took a liking to the young soldier coincidentally named John. Henceforth she referred to me as “old” John…

I think the KATUSA took a shine to Sohee but she was being shy. Or coy. Who can tell?

Anyway, it was a great night out in the ‘twon. I have more fun in store this afternoon when we’ll meet up with the famous Big Hominid at the Tabom Brazil steak house. It’s all you can eat so I’m not sure what condition I’ll be in for darts in the Sunday Singles League, but it will be worth it.

Details to follow. Stay tuned!

Requiem for a dream

Posted on 17/April/2014 by John McCrarey

I had a dream last night. And as is the nature of dreams, this one was bizarre and inexplicable. Details fade with wakefulness, but in this dream it was somehow important that I post 7 images of Los Angeles here on the blog. As ridiculous as it might seem, I’m doing as my dream instructed.

The dream as far as I recall did not dictate any particular image to post. But me in LA go way back so it wasn't hard to pick some that were meaningful to me. The first time I visited Los Angeles was here at the Kaiser Foundation hospital on the day that I was born...

The dream as far as I recall did not dictate any particular image to post. But me and LA go way back so it wasn’t hard to pick some that were meaningful to me. The first time I visited Los Angeles was here at the Kaiser Foundation hospital on the day that I was born…

Olvera Street is the oldest street in LA. I have memories of visiting here with the parents as a child and years later taking a gal who attended USC I was dating here for authentic Mexican food…

I was a big baseball fan growing up in southern Cal and of course my favorite team was the Dodgers. My dad took me to my first game for my 10th birthday in 1965. Lots more great times were had over the years in Chavez Ravine…

The LA skyline only looks like this approximately one day a year. Seriously. We the Santa Ana winds blow in from the desert it blows the smog out to sea and you can see the mountains that are otherwise invisible throughout the year.

The LA skyline only looks like this approximately one day a year. Seriously. When the Santa Ana winds blow in from the desert they push the smog out to sea and you can see the mountains that are otherwise invisible throughout the year.

I love old train stations. I’ve been to Union Station in DC and Denver, 30th Street Station in Philadelphia, and Grand Central in NYC, but none are as fantastic as Union Station in LA. Oddly enough, I never took a train to or from there. But sometimes when I was in the neighborhood I’d just drop in to be amazed.

The Port of Los Angeles. My father was a Merchant Marine and when his ship came in so to speak we’d drive over the Vincent Thomas Bridge and pick him up…

What would LA be without Koreatown? Funny thing is when I lived in SoCal I knew nothing of it and cared less. I rectified that a few years ago when I visited and lucked into an outstanding galbi house…

I started with the first time I was in LA and I’ll finish with my last time–LAX. I was making a connection to Seoul after a business trip to Phoenix. The airport sucks.

So here’s hoping this post has satisfied the whims of Morpheus and that tonight I will enjoy a restful and peaceful sleep.

Getting high in Korea

Posted on 01/April/2014 by John McCrarey

Yesterday I got high and then I got lost. Sort of.

It all started innocently enough. I was enjoying my morning coffee when Jee Yeun exclaimed “let’s go to the mountain!” By mountain she was of course referring to her favorite place to hike–Bukhansan National Park. I wasn’t exactly feeling it, but Jee Yeun had indulged me several hours of darts on Sunday so I figured it was wise to pretend to be enthusiastic. So off we went.

It was about 10:00 a.m. when we reached our bus stop and the place was crawling with college-age kids. The first bus to arrive was packed tighter than a can of sardines and I said “bullshit on this, you wanted to exercise, let’s walk!” Which we did, at least as far as the next bus stop. Jee Yeun had reminded me just how long the walk would be so I agreed to wait and see whether the next bus was filled beyond reasonable capacity. It was. But after consulting the bus schedule Jee said all of these are going to the university (she didn’t say which one). She assured me that the bus we needed (the 110B) would not be crowded. And she was 100% correct! Just a few old folks dressed for a morning mountain hike. I sadly noted to myself just how much I fit in with these elderly types.

Anyway, we arrived at our destination and began our climb. This time I insisted we take a new path, as I was tired of the same one Jee Yeun preferred on each of our previous several visits. I soon regretted not bringing along my camera. The trees were in early flowering mode and there were several new and interesting vistas along the way. And this trail took us straight to the top! It’s the highest I’ve been in Korea (not counting my driving over Seroksan).

It was a tough climb and actually a little scary in places. The footing was often difficult and in one place they had even secured ropes as a hand hold to assist in the prevention of plunging to serious injury or death at the bottom of the cliff. It wasn’t the fall I was worried about, it was the sudden stop! I was glad for my walking stick and the thought occurred that I ought to invest in some actual hiking boots.

After traversing the crest line trail for the better part of an hour, we began looking for a way back down to the place where we had started from. Which as it turns out was on the other side of the mountain. Not being one to back track (and not wanting to rely on ropes again to stay on the path) I decreed we’d take the first likely trail to down to wherever it led and taxi home from there if necessary. That didn’t really go exactly as planned.

After a good long generally downward hike we did find an exit from the national park. Which put us smack dab in the middle of an upscale residential area. Well, upscale doesn’t do it justice. These houses, or more aptly, mansions, were pert near the largest most opulent homes I’ve seen anywhere–including Beverly Hills. Pyungchang-dong I guess neighborhood is called. Again, I wish I’d had my camera! We followed a meandering street for a good bit seeing nothing that looked like the Korea I know. We eventually encountered some folk out for a walk and Jee Yeun asked where we might catch a bus. Now, I’m language challenged, but I can read expressions. And these were saying they’d never considered such a question. They vaguely pointed down the road and off we walked. And walked. And walked. Damn, who knew there were so many incredibly rich people in one place.

I finally spied some high rise apartments in the distance so we made for them. It took awhile though because the road was neither straight nor narrow. Eventually a cab stopped for us (I guess we were a bit of spectacle with our shabby attire and walking sticks). And so we finally made it back to the familiar environs of Gireum-dong in time for me to rest up for dart league.

And I was high again after turning in an 11-1 performance (regular readers may recall I went 1-8 the week before). And I drank a lot of beer as well.

An adventure filled day to be sure!

Climb every mountain

Posted on 21/March/2014 by John McCrarey

Alright, maybe not every mountain. But we did climb the one across the street from our apartment. Let’s tell the tale through pictures and save those thousand words for another day.

Our uphill journey begins on this narrow but steep residential street…

the street ended, but not our climb as these wooden stairs (and Jee Yeun) beckoned me onward and upward…

…looking back from whence I came.
The steps were many and my heart was pounding in anticipation. Or something.

A portion of our path…

A resting place along the way…

At the summit I declare “thar be our apartment building”. We’ve come a long way baby!

I must say that I’m always impressed with how much thought and effort the Koreans put into these urban oasis’. Jee Yeun reclines on a comfortable bench. All she needs now is something good to read…

…and I’ll be damned if they didn’t think of that too! Seriously, this is something I’ve never seen before. I don’t expect those books would last a day in the states though…

Another view of the city from our perch on high…

Jee Yeun works out at one of the several exercise spots set up along the trail…

I’m fairly certain that this sign says something along the lines of “beware of evil pine trees and their scented cones that will mesmerize your children in Pied Piper fashion”. Or maybe it doesn’t.

At yet another exercise way station I can’t resist climbing aboard this contraption. It was actually kind of fun…

We decided to take a different path down to see what we might see…

And lo and behold we came across this little Buddhist temple…

Heading back to our high rise apartment I told Jee Yeun I’d like to live in a house like this. She just gave me that look I’ve come to understand as meaning “you don’t have a clue, do you?”

And finally, if you’ve ever wanted to see a Korean elementary school, now you have.

It was a good day and a nice hike.

The way things are…

Posted on 16/March/2014 by John McCrarey

…thus far.

Still not acclimated to the time reversal if waking up at 0500 this morning is any indication. No worries, I’ll get adjusted. It’s not like I have to get up and go to work or anything.

Our luggage finally made it in from Detroit late last night. It’s good to have my darts back.

On Friday night I played with borrowed darts and managed a second place finish. The amazing thing about that is I was quite a bit drunker than I tend to get. I’m not really clear on why, maybe the alcohol content of Cass is higher than the light-ass beer I normally drink. I know it has lots more calories. Of course, in the USA I am always cognizant of the impending drive home so I tend to monitor my consumption pretty closely. I honestly don’t know how much I drank Friday, but it was enough to leave me hungover. Which is really not my style.

I stayed close to home on Saturday. Wasn’t feeling up for the St. Paddy’s day crowds in Itaewon. Did spend over W200,000 on groceries at the D.C market. So, doing the low-carb thing is a tad more difficult but I’m making the effort to stick as close to the plan as I am able. For example, I didn’t buy cereal, bread or sweet goodies like I used to do. I’m also resolved to take the stairs in the subway stations to incorporate a little extra exercise into my daily routine. Man oh man, the stairs coming out of Itaewon station are a bitch!

What else? I was disappointed that my smart phone could not be unlocked. For now I am stuck with my ancient phone that has no bells and/or whistles. It also does not appear to be holding a charge, so I’m going to have to see about a battery I suppose. If they even still make one that fits my brand of dinosaur.

Meeting an old work friend for lunch this afternoon and then I’ll mosey over to Dillinger’s Bar for some darts practice. I’ll be playing with a Dillinger’s team for the remainder of the dart league season, so I hope to bring a respectable game with me. I’ll be back in the thick of the action tomorrow night.

I was frankly amazed at how much different Itaewon seems after my 13 month absence. Some old familiar buildings have been torn down (Nashville!), some of my old bar hangouts have closed or changed owners, and the number of familiar faces I saw at Dolce Vita was a lot less than I remember. Well, I reckon after a few months the new faces will look familiar enough. For now I guess I’ll be the new old guy.

To the pictures!

I have the good fortune to live right on top of the subway station. It’s a 40 minute ride into Itaewon though. Or a W20,000 cab ride home late at night (as we did Friday, er, Saturday morning).

Jee Yeun always gets a vending machine coffee to enjoy on our way into Itaewon. Bless her heart.

Changing our dollars into Won. 1068 was the going rate on Friday, not particularly good but I’ve seen it a lot lower.

The mean main street of Itaewon…

My first frosty mug of OB lager in over a year. Nice-ah! (I just need to remember to enjoy them in moderation!)

A larger than usual turnout for the Friday blind draw at Dolce Vita.

The highlight of the night was connecting with my old Canadian friend Craig “the Goat”. He left Korea a year or so before I retired, and moved back here last spring. It was his birthday Friday and as fate would have it we drew up as partners in the tourney. Now maybe if I’d had my own darts or maybe had I stayed slightly more sober, we’d have done better than second place. Still, it was a great time!

Like it or not, there will be lots more to come in the continuing saga of my life in Korea!

Glory days

Posted on 27/February/2014 by John McCrarey

When I was a freshman in high school I ran on the cross country team. Back then, the course was two miles long (by the time my kids competed it was 3 miles). I was not the top runner on the team by far, but my best time of 10.56 minutes was fairly respectable, especially for a 9th grader. Our star varsity runner was somewhere in the mid-nine minute range. So, I think it is fair to say I had potential and I did work hard, never missing practice and the like.

So, it was pretty shocking when near the end of the season Coach Hedges told me get a haircut or I was off the team. The truth of the matter is that my hair was not even that long (certainly not over my ears or in my eyes or anything). And what I found especially irksome was my hair was every bit as short as the aforementioned star varsity player. I mentioned that fact to the coach and then I was off the team. And thus began my rebellious phase.

I mention this now after all these years because I didn’t realize at the time that my Constitutional rights had been violated. The 7th Circuit Court says a short hair requirement for boys that doesn’t apply to girls is a violation of the equal protection clause and constitutes sex discrimination.

I just figured Coach Hedges was an asshole. Instead, I was a victim of government oppression and didn’t even know it. No big deal, just one of those bumps along the road of life that cause a change of direction. But of course, that changes everything.

Hat Tip: Althouse

A third world experience

Posted on 19/February/2014 by John McCrarey

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of big government, but I do recognize that there are certain services that we must rely on Uncle Sam to provide. Is it asking too much that the government endeavor to accomplish these necessary tasks with at least a modicum of competence?

My latest encounter with the federal bureaucracy in the form of the IRS nearly caused my head to explode. Today I had the misfortune to visit the “taxpayer assistance office” located in the Strom Thurmond Federal Building in beautiful downtown Columbia. And why pray tell did this taxpayer require assistance? Because of the sluggards who reside within the offices at USCIS. I won’t recount the sordid details of those travails again (if you are so inclined you can read about it here and here and here), suffice to say that because my wife’s application for permanent residency (green card) has been inexplicably delayed (or in government speak “outside normal processing time”) I’ve got some hurdles to jump prior to filing my income taxes.

You see, I can’t claim Jee Yeun as a dependent exemption on my 1040 until she has an SSN. And she can’t get an SSN until she receives her green card. Luckily, the IRS has a solution: I can file a W-7 form with my tax return and she will be assigned an ITIN (individual taxpayer identification number). Ah, if it were only that simple. For when you file the W-7 in the aforementioned fashion you must also send acceptable documentation of identity, which in Jee Yeun’s case is her passport. No worries, IRS says the passport will be returned in 90 days or so (yeah, I’ve heard THAT promise before). Being the unflagging optimist that I am, I fully expect we will be back in Korea long before then. So we are going to need that passport.

This morning I called the local IRS office and reached a recording that advised they don’t answer questions over the phone. The recording also helpfully advised that I could find my answers at www.IRS.gov or I could visit the Taxpayer Assistance Office in person, “no appointment necessary”. I dutifully went to the IRS website and did find my answer: I could bring the documentation and W-7 to my local Taxpayer Assistance Office for processing. So we loaded into the car and headed downtown.

The Federal Building is an eight story monstrosity housing the entire alphabet soup of government agencies. And guess what? They offer zero public parking! After circling around a couple of times I finally scored a metered spot a few blocks away. I fed the meter a couple of quarters which bought me an hour on the street (told you I was an optimist). Fortunately, it was a beautiful day and Jee Yeun and I walked hand-in-hand to our destination. In true Buddhist fashion, Jee Yeun commented on how pleasant it was to be out walking down the street like we do in Seoul (I’ve always admired her positive outlook in life). Upon entering the building the Federal Protective Service guards asked for ID. My driver’s license sufficed, but the guard spent several minutes perusing Jee Yeun’s passport. He finally asked “where is the visa?” I momentarily pictured him calling upstairs to get INS on the case, but he reluctantly accepted my assertion that the green card was pending. Going through security was just like the airport (no shoes, hats, belts or jewelry) but with less friendly agents. Imagine that!

Having successful navigated the x-ray machine (and a bizarrely thorough search of Jee Yeun’s purse) we took the elevator up to the sixth floor offices of the IRS. Where we encountered a line extending out the door of the Taxpayer Assistance Office. To say that the line moved slower than a glacier would make me appear to be a global warming denier (which I am, but that’s another story). Thirty minutes later I was still outside the door but I could peer inside and observe 20 or so disgruntled patrons of the IRS waiting for assistance. Apparently, the line I was in was to get a number to be served in turn, but I did not see anyone handing out said numbers. I did overhear one of the “lucky” people in the room say they had been waiting for four hours. To pass the time and to overcome my foreboding upon reading a sign that said “Due to staffing limitations this office can only receive payments and provide transcripts”, neither of which I came to do, I called the IRS 800 number. My phone call was put on hold for the “next available agent” and I played a game in my mind about who would actually speak to me first–the seemingly non-existent bureaucrat in the office or the faceless one on the phone.

Thirty more minutes go by and then a frumpy disinterested woman appeared from behind the glass wall (I had observed her listlessly looking at her computer monitor for some time) and announced “we will not be giving out any additional numbers today, and because of staffing shortages some of you with numbers may not be served”. It became clear to me why the security procedures were so severe and necessary. The disgruntled taxpayers had now become angry taxpayers. I told the frumpy employee that I needed to file a W-7 and she responded that I could send it in with my tax form. As I was explaining that I could not part with my passport, she turned to the angry crowd and told them harshly to “quiet down!” Returning her attention to me, I told her the IRS webpage said I could file the W-7 at the Taxpayer Assistance Office. She then advised me that they were “not staffed” to do that in this office. I asked who was staffed to do so and she suggested I try going to Charlotte, NC.

About this time I made it through the phone queue where a friendly gentlemen confirmed the fact that Charlotte (100 miles distant) was the nearest office that could accept my W-7. I thanked him for the website not mentioning that critical fact but the sarcasm seemed lost on him.

The day was not a complete cluster fuck however, for despite my parking meter having long since expired, I had not been given a parking ticket. So there’s that.

Jee Yeun never directly criticizes America, bless her heart. On the drive home she simply mentioned that during the busiest times at the Korean tax office, she never waited more than 20 minutes to be served. She said in Korea government workers are smart and efficient and want to help you. And they hire enough people to do the job. I said “yes dear, everything works better in Korea”. And I meant it.

Not only is the United States broke, it is broken. That makes me sad. And angry.

Two things I haven’t done this year

Posted on 09/January/2014 by John McCrarey

1. I have not posted anything here on the blog.

2. I haven’t smoked a cigarette.

So, I guess technically speaking there is now only one thing I haven’t done this year. Of those two at least. And I can live without ever smoking again. Which is actually the point of quitting, right?

I’m not going to say it’s been easy. Although truth be told quitting is easy. It’s the staying quit that’s the hard part. But I’m chock full of good intentions this time. I still get the urge to smoke of course, especially when I’m alone or with somebody. Ha ha, I love my sense of humor! But seriously, there are moments when I really want to inhale some nicotine. Like while I’m writing this post. Or when I’m playing darts. And so when I’m feeling an overwhelming need, I reach out to my new best friend for comfort:

Is that cheating? Who cares? Yes, it’s a nicotine fix. But it ain’t the nicotine that is scarring my lungs. And it’s really just a crutch until I can walk away completely on my own. And I’m getting there.

Speaking of walking, I’ve rededicated myself to six hours a week on the treadmill. So far, so good. It’s just been a few days but I do feel better already. I do the treadmill in the morning and an hour of darts practice in the afternoon. Usually with a nap in between. It’s a pretty sweet routine.

In other news, I did my first dart tourney of the year this past weekend up in Charlotte. I threw better than I usually do, and even managed to to finish in the money.

With my partner J.R. we managed a Top 8 finish in 501 and a Top 4 finish in Cricket.

And that’s about all I’ve got to say about 2014. At least so far. It did start well though.

I’m wearing my bomber jacket! Ready for Itaewon!

Happy New Year!

We’ll make heaven a place on Earth

Posted on 20/December/2013 by John McCrarey

Came across this mind boggling and thought provoking article that claims we are moving closer to having the capability to map a human brain to the extent that a person could live on in a “virtual” world after the mortal body has turned to dust.

Imagine a future in which your mind never dies. When your body begins to fail, a machine scans your brain in enough detail to capture its unique wiring. A computer system uses that data to simulate your brain. It won’t need to replicate every last detail. Like the phonograph, it will strip away the irrelevant physical structures, leaving only the essence of the patterns. And then there is a second you, with your memories, your emotions, your way of thinking and making decisions, translated onto computer hardware as easily as we copy a text file these days.

That second version of you could live in a simulated world and hardly know the difference. You could walk around a simulated city street, feel a cool breeze, eat at a café, talk to other simulated people, play games, watch movies, enjoy yourself. Pain and disease would be programmed out of existence. If you’re still interested in the world outside your simulated playground, you could Skype yourself into board meetings or family Christmas dinners.

The author goes on to make the case that actual creation of this technology is not necessarily a good thing, noting that the moral and societal implications of implementation will “transform humanity in ways that are more disturbing than helpful.” I guess I can see the downsides, but given my lack of faith in any form of afterlife, I’d probably be inclined to accept immortality wherever I might find it. Of course, that might be it’s own kind of hell. I’m reminded of a story I read back in the 1970s entitled “I have eternal life and it’s killing me”.

Speaking of virtual worlds, of late I’ve been crafting a rather detailed fantasy life in my mind. Yeah, I’ve got too much time on my hands I suppose. But really, I just use these fantasies as a sleep aid. A detailed version of counting sheep if you will. I won’t bore you with the details of that world, although I’m young, handsome, and have the benefit of 20-20 hindsight. So yeah, I avoid all the mistakes I’ve made along the way in my real life and do things like invest in start-up companies with odd names like Microsoft and Apple. Anyway, I imagine novelists go through similar exercises as they craft their stories and create fictional characters to populate those worlds. Which is to say I don’t think I’ve gone totally off the rails.

So that’s how I kind of imagine what a virtual afterlife might look like. What do you think? Do you prefer the great unknown of death or would you rather have a computerized version of yourself live on through infinity?

This little piggy went to the market

Posted on 22/November/2013 by John McCrarey

In this exciting episode of The Adventures of LTG we go grocery shopping!

Finding the larder at the Little House on the McCrarey was in a seriously depleted mode, the wife and I took to the highway for some hunting and gathering. First stop was the Korean market.

Jee Yeun’s home away from home.

It seemed we needed just about everything they sold.

One hundred fifty dollars later we loaded our burden up and carted it out.

Although two large jars of Kimchi may seem excessive, that’s only a one month supply for Jee Yeun. One radish, one cabbage.

We also scored us a nice thick slab of samgyapsal.

Bringing home the bacon!

Having taken care of the Korean specialty foods, it was off to the American supermarket for the rest of our necessities. Now, I’m a Publix kind of guy, but Jee Yeun wanted to score some galbi and Bi-Lo is the only store in town that slices short ribs in a proper Korean fashion.

In addition to our standard grocery list, I picked up the ingredients for my Aunt Pat’s recipe fruit salad, my contribution to the family Thanksgiving feast next week.

Having loaded the shopping cart to near capacity, it was time to check out. Now, I’m not going to rant about it (much) but one thing that I find irksome about the American shopping experience is that stores are going big on this “self checkout” system. As a matter of principle I refuse to ring up my own groceries. But the bastards make you suffer for your insolence by only manning the bare minimum of cashier operated checkouts. Today they had two lanes open and one of those was for fifteen items or less. One person was in the 15 item line, and there were several in the regular lane. So, a manager walks by and observes my frustration and directs me to the short line, despite the fact that I was several times over the stated maximum for items.

I sensed there would be trouble, but I followed the manager’s instructions. The customer in front of me was an older (than me) woman with two items that had already been rung up. So, we proceeded to load the conveyer belt to overflowing with our 100+ items. And waited. And waited. I’m not sure what was going on, but the woman was fumbling around in her purse for what seemed like an entirety. I guess she was looking for her Bi-Lo discount card. Finally, the cashier tried to look her up in the system without success. And then a discussion ensued as to whether the purchased items were even eligible for a discount. The woman finally decided that she would pay, and proceeded to count out the correct amount at a pace that seemed to make my head want to explode. And I’m talking about the bills. When she went rummaging for her change purse and then started counting out each individual coin I was reduced to reciting the serenity prayer repeatedly. To no apparent effect. Meanwhile, customers with 15 or fewer items were coming up, looking at our pile, and giving me the evil eye. I know what they were thinking, because lord knows, I’ve had those same thoughts when I was on the wrong side of a misbehaving customers. When you don’t follow the rules established for the grocery checkout the very fabric that binds society together begins to unravel. Yeah, there was definitely murder in the hearts of some Bi-Lo customers today.

But here’s the kicker. When the old woman was finally done with her transaction, she turned to me and said “I thought this line was for 15 items or less!” Now, I might have just ignored the comment, but then the checker said “yeah, I know.” So I remained relatively calm but gruffly pointed out that I had been directed to this line by the store manager. They both then professed to have only been “joking”. Yeah. Ha ha. Good one.

Anyway, as my purchases were rang up I had to do my own bagging (another downside of the 15 item line). I had bought two bottles of wine on sale and the cashier said if I buy four I get another 10% off, plus a nifty little carry sack. So, I sent Jee Yeun running for two more. As she placed the wine in the nifty little carry sack the cashier asked “now will you smile?” So, I mustered up my best fake smile ever and rolled on out of there.

And to think that some people believe retired life must be boring!

Long Time Gone

Category Archives: The story of my life