As I was saying….

Posted on 12/April/2008 by John McCrarey

Geez, where does the time get to anyway? It’s been awhile since I’ve posted I know, but sometimes it’s just a struggle to post when there ain’t nothin’ new to say. But yeah, I’m doing alright. I know when the the long lost Nomad inquires about my whereabouts it’s time to check in.

Since my return from the Philippines, it has been work and darts. Work has been hectic and stressful, and there does not appear to be much relief in sight. In fact, my boss will likely be leaving this summer and she is already lobbying me to take her job. But at this stage in my career, I’m focused on retiring, not climbing the ladder of “success”. Still, I prefer to control my destiny and I may wind up taking the job as a preemptive measure–I don’t want to work for an asshole and the only sure way to avoid that is to be the boss. We’ll see.

I’ve had a rough spell with my dart game as well. Just playing horrible the past few weeks. I’m sure the problem is in my head. I just haven’t been playing with confidence and I have been a little intimidated by the “A” division competition. I’ve been working on it though and this past week I’ve shown signs of breaking out of the slump. I had an 8-1 showing on Monday night, and won a couple of the Dolce tourneys, so I’ve just got to keep it going.

Ok, I promised to post about my trip to the Philippines. I had a great time, mostly. I really did not like Manila at all. What a shithole. The traffic made Seoul seem sane (which it is not). It was dirty and the poverty was right up close and personal. I mean Christ, landing at the airport you fly over a shanty town along the riverbank that is like something out of National Geographic. No way I could live there.

I spent a few days in Angeles City as well. It is one big party town, like Itaewon on speed. Lots of bars with young women dancing in skimpy attire. I was bored with that after the first day. Fortunately I met a couple of Americans staying in my hotel and we hung out together. Days at the pool, and at night we went to this country bar with a great live band. So, while I wound up having fun in Angeles, it is not the kind of town I would call home.

From there I flew to Cebu City. Yes, that was much more likely. Comparatively clean and modern. The poverty is there, but it is not so much in your face. I hired a cab one day to show me around and really got a good feeling about the place. More to see in Philippines before I make any decisions, but Cebu is a definite possibility.

One thing I learned is not to travel to a predominately Catholic country during the Holy Days. I arrive on Maudy Thursday which of course preceded Good Friday. Everything was closed up tight, including the bar I had read about on the internet and wanted to visit. So, it was a little boring since there wasn’t much to do but hang out at the pool bar. Still, a good trip and I hope to return soon.

Didn’t take a lot of pictures, but here are a few:

Angeles City street scene with the ever present Jeepney’s…

Fields Avenue, the main drag in Angeles. If this seems a little third world, you should see the back streets.

This is where I stayed. The room was a bit dated, but clean. Great pool and great breakfast buffet. I’d stay there again.

Ok, these next pictures are all from my tour of Cebu and the surrounding environs. This one is of Fort San Pedro, built by the Spanish in 1590 (if memory serves). One thing I found somewhat surprising is that despite being a Spanish colony for over 300 years, there was not much Spanish influence in the culture. Certainly not as much as you see in other former colonies.

Fort San Pedro had some interesting flora and fauna. If you are interested in that kind of thing. I’m basically not.

But I did enjoy the view.

This is along the top of whatever you call the walls of a fort.

Oh yeah, did I mention that the Philippines is quite tropical? It was March and I was wearing shorts and was on the edge of being uncomfortably warm. But I expect it was because I was acclimated to the rather harsh Korean winter I had just left.

Not sure if this is going to be readable on the blog, but it is the story of Magellan’s Cross. Yes, this is the spot where he planted the seeds of Christianity in the PI. A few days later a local tribal chieftain named Lapu Lapu had had about enough of Magellan and his merry troop and dispatched them to the great hereafter rather violently.

The above referenced cross of the ill-fated Magellan.

Next stop on my tour was Beverly Hills. Yes, there is a Beverly Hills in Cebu City. It is a big gated community where the well to do live. I understand there are expats living there as well, but I did not encounter any. Anyway, it was quite pretty.

Within the Beverly Hills compound is a huge Taoist Temple. My lack of photography skills prevented me from finding an angle that really captured its enormity. So, this will have to do.

The Temple had lots of cool stuff like this.

I don’t know if the Taoists call this a pagoda or not. That’s what I’m calling it though.

I have no concept or understanding of Taoist beliefs. So, no clue what these figurines represent. Other than a photo op for me.

Apparently fishing is revered amongst those who practice the Tao faith. I guess the Nomad would appreciate that.

Lots of these dragons hanging about as well.

I had to climb a gazillion steps to get to the Temple proper. I was rewarded with a nice view of Beverly Hills though…

If they day comes that I am able to retire, and if the place I retire is the Philippines, and if I choose Cebu City, and if I decide to live in Beverly Hills, then I ‘m thinking this house would be a comfortable abode. No, I didn’t price anything specific, but my internet searches have convinced me I could find something similar for no more than $200,000.

You know, when you travel people invariably ask about the local cuisine. This place is fairly typical of the dining establishments I saw. To be truthful, I wasn’t that adventurous when it came to eating out. Mostly just what I could get in the hotel or sandwich type places. I guess the only “real” Filipino food I tried was the Jollibees. (A fast food chain that pinoys are crazy about for some reason).

So, I asked my taxi guy Fredo to show me around Mactan Island next. That is where the resorts are and many expats call it home. I tried to catch a picture of Cebu Bay as we crossed the bridge, but got this San Miguel sign instead. I drank a lot of San Miguel during my visit.

So this is the best I could do at capturing Cebu Bay. Fredo drives pretty fast.

I really wasn’t that impressed with Mactan Island. I saw a lot of poverty and it just wasn’t as clean and modern as Cebu City. We did stop for lunch at this resort on the water. Lots of people come to the PI for the scuba diving. I don’t scuba myself of course, as I find my breathing is easier above the water.

And the water was definitely clear. Not sure this picture captures that, but I hadn’t seen water this nice since the Bahamas. Nice as blue, but crystal clear.

Hot day + holiday weekend = lots of people enjoying a nice swim.

This is my driver Fredo. Nice guy. It was kinda funny how we met. My first night in town he was the first cab in line at the hotel taxi stand. I said I wanted to go to Lonestar (the bar I had read about) and he said the bars would be closed. I (being an expert after one hour in town) assured him he was wrong. He wasn’t. He did eventually find a place that was open so I could quench my craving for a San Miguel. Anyway, a couple of days later when I was ready for my tour, Fredo was the first cab in the taxi stand again. We both thought that quite the coincidence. He wound up taking me to the airport as well, but that was by arrangement.

We both ordered the barbeque chicken. This is what it looked like half way through. Not bad. I mean, I eat chicken on a stick from the street vendors in Itaewon pretty often. This was comparable. Yeah, I’m such a gourmet.

Ok, that’s my report from the Philippines. I’ll try to do better about keeping y’all up to speed on my many “adventures” here in Korea.

Until then, anyong.

The Big 3-OH

Posted on 11/March/2008 by John McCrarey

Well, my son Kevin turns 30 years old today. Which makes us exactly the same age. Although he is 30 in mind AND body. So this post is for him.

Turning 30 is a good thing, son. A whole ‘nother world of possibilities await you. To me, it is the real beginning of adulthood. I hope you don’t feel like you are getting too old to achieve your dreams.

I guess the other thing I would tell you is too hold fast to what you value most in life. You have a beautiful wife who loves you and that is a bigger treasure than you may realize. Richness is not always about money.

Although I’m not around to be offering fatherly advice (which I probably wouldn’t be good at if I was around), I trust I can serve as an example to you. A bad example, it’s true, but an example nonetheless. I hope you will reflect on my many mistakes in life and resolve yourself to be a better man than I was.

I have always been prouder of you than know. Nothing would make me prouder than seeing you live a happy and fulfilling life, surrounded by the many people who love you.

Happy birthday, son. I love you.

Remembering Linda Ketner

Posted on 11/February/2008 by John McCrarey

Four years ago this month, my friend and soulmate succumbed to breast cancer. Until this moment, I have never written of her, although few days pass when she is not in my thoughts. Even now, the pain of losing her seems too raw and fresh to contemplate, and yet her memory is so wonderful that it begs to be shared if only to give her spirit some substance within the dimension of the living. Although mere words, especially within the constraints of my limited talent of expression, could never capture the essence of this remarkable woman. But Linda Ketner loved me and would certainly forgive my feeble efforts at a proper remembrance. And so, for you, my friend, I share the story that I carry in my heart.

I met Linda in Prescott, Arizona in 1981. She was working as a legal secretary in a law office on my mail route. I’m not sure why I asked her out; she was a couple of years older than me and not really my “type” physically. But she did have a great smile, and her dark Italian eyes sparkled with equal parts of mischief and wisdom as if she was in on some cosmic joke, and my cluelessness was most amusing. Well, whatever it was that created the spark, the resulting fire was to light and warm a friendship that lasted over 20 years.

For the first couple of years, we toyed with romance. We were both single parents with two children. She was Catholic, and I wasn’t. I was on the rebound from a major heartbreak and could not let myself love again, which made her incredibly angry. I moved to Arkansas several months after we met. She brought her kids cross country by bus to visit me there. We spent time at my parent’s small farm in eastern Oklahoma, and she told me later it was the only time in her life she had truly felt at peace and at home. She wanted me to ask her to stay. And I didn’t.

We continued to write and speak on the phone, and I’m not sure how I would have borne the loneliness of that time in my life without her kindness and support. About a year later, she had moved to Phoenix, and I came out to see her. By now, I had come to love her and was finally ready to commit to a relationship. And she wasn’t, at least with me. She had met someone else, and I was too late. Which really pissed her off. I saw firsthand her fiery temper in what we fondly recalled as the refrigerator cleaning incident. As she was emptying the contents of the fridge, she would hurl food items and invectives my way, telling me in colorful terms what an idiot I had been. That actually turned out to be one of our favorite memories that always made us laugh, but it was a pretty intense experience at the time.

So, we both wound up marrying others and going on with our lives. But we always stayed in touch, sharing our trials and joys in long letters, and with the advent of email, our correspondence became even more robust. And she was always there for me, a rock to cling to in stormy seas and a beacon of light on my darkest nights. Her love for me was always unconditional, and even when I screwed up (which was often), she gave me encouragement instead of censure. I’m not sure there is a better definition of friendship.

Looking back, I probably only saw her in person six or seven times over all those years. We were connected in a way that transcended the physical; there was just some power that bonded us in a way I cannot adequately explain. She knew how to touch the places in my innermost being in a way that no one ever had before. She KNEW me. And despite that, she still loved me. I had never known that kind of affirmation, and it was a source of strength and comfort to be blessed with her love.

Whenever I lost myself, she helped me find my way back. She visited me once in South Carolina. The house I shared with my wife was decorated in a manner worthy of Southern Living magazine. She looked around and said, “wow, this is really amazing. But tell me, where do YOU live?” She saw through the lie I had been living for years in five minutes.

Of course, I was only one part of Linda’s life. I’m sure I was important to her, but not the most important. She had her children, her grandson, and on her third try, a husband who was worthy of her love.

Linda was no saint, but she was saintly. I nicknamed her MT2 (Mother Teresa the second). She had an amazing capacity to love. It was her gift. She did things like visiting nursing homes and reading to strangers on a weekly basis. She was always there for the people who needed her most.

As good as Linda was, her life was hard. She was emotionally abused as a child .she married men who treated her badly, but nothing overcome her indomitable spirit. Well, nothing but cancer. But no, the cancer beat her body, but it never beat Linda.

She was first diagnosed in the late 1980s and underwent a double mastectomy. In true Catholic fashion, she told me God was punishing her for her vanity about having large breasts. But she was a survivor. When she reached the ten-year mark without a recurrence, she noted that statistically, she was home free.

Damn statistics. The cancer recurred at twelve years and was inoperable. But she never quit fighting. I know it is cliché to talk about the “brave struggle against impossible odds,” but Linda was the poster child for fighting the good fight against the evil that was eating her body. Her faith, courage, and strength were inspirational to all who knew her.

And just when it seemed things could get no worse, her daughter Amy died from a drug overdose. When I heard the news, I thought Linda would lose her will to live. I think it was touch and go for a while, but Amy’s son needed her, and she fought on. And on. She was in pain most of the time, in mind, body, and spirit, but still, she would not quit. And she never lost herself. I visited Linda a couple of times during the last year of her life and always came away uplifted. It was as if she had had her faith challenged in the most severe fashion and had passed the test. Her reward was acceptance and peace of mind.

Well, maybe not acceptance. The last time we were together was at the hospice. She was drugged up and in and out of consciousness, but early one morning, she awoke while I was sitting at her bedside. She looked at me and smiled, and that same mischievous mirth from the day we met was twinkling in her eyes. We talked about all we had shared, we laughed and cried, and then she squeezed my hand and told me, “this is NOT goodbye.” I don’t know if she was right, but I didn’t argue the point. I love her now as I did then, and she lives on in my heart. If there is a heaven, I know of no one more worthy than her to reside there. She was my angel on Earth, and I miss having her here watching out for me.

As I got up to leave the hospice for the last time, I accidentally tripped on the oxygen tubes that had somehow gotten twisted around my legs. Linda started gasping and clutching her throat. I stood there in shock and near panic. Then she flashed me that big smile and said, “Got ya!”

Yeah, babe, you got me. You got me good.

On the town

Posted on 28/December/2007 by John McCrarey

Last night was softtip dart league night. We were playing Danny’s Bar in Hannam-dong. Although we were playing at Jay Bar because Danny’s no longer has an electronic dart board (having replaced it with a baby grand piano). Talk about extreme makeovers.

Anyhoo, Hannam is the next village over from Itaewon, but it is world’s away in terms of atmosphere. Not nearly as many foreigners for example. Savvy readers will remember that I technically live in Hannam, although I am several blocks away from the business district. I actually only rarely go there which is a shame because it is a nice change of pace.

So, the softip league differs from the steeltip version in that about half the teams are made up exclusively of Koreans. And they are good, eight of the top ten players are Koreans. Danny’s/Jay Bar are Korean venues. In fact, the bar staff didn’t speak English at all. So, I got to use my limited vocabulary a couple of times (although teammates Lonnie and Grant are comparatively fluent).

We won 13-0. That is two weeks in a row we have swept the match. Of course it would be dishonest if I failed to mention that both victories came as a result of forfeits. Not sure what is going on, but rumor has it the Korean teams are boycotting because of some controversy that occurred in a big softtip tournament with an American member of the league. Don’t know that that is the case, but it was strange that NONE of the Korean teams showed up last week.

Well, we were there at Jay Bar and had the board to ourselves so we played a couple of rounds and enjoyed some cold beers. Then we crossed the street to check out Danny’s and had another round of beer. Afterwards we cabbed back to Dolce and played some “real” darts (steeltips) and drank more beer.

Mr. Kim, a fine darts player and a good guy showed up. Rare for him these days as he is juggling three businesses and is always working. He immediately challenged me to a game, but I protested I was too drunk to throw and besides I had already put my darts away. He wasn’t hearing it, reminding me that I had put him out of the tournament on Saturday and he wanted some revenge. What are you going to do in that situation but play. Well, the results were pretty predictable as he won 4 of the 5 legs we played. Although given my condition, they were relatively close. I think sober I *might* be able to beat Mr. Kim 40% of the time. Or not.

And then I had a nice surprise when Brian, a friend from the fantasy football league, came in with a Canadian friend of his. We all got to talking and the next thing I know its 2 a.m. It was good to see him again though. BTW, my team lost in the second round of the playoffs last weekend. I had debated which running back to bench, Willie Parker or Clinton Portis. I went with Parker who wound up getting injured in the first quarter and scored me zero points. I would up losing by 10 points, and the difference was sitting on my bench in the person of Mr. Portis. Ah well.

Oh yeah, on the evening of Christmas day we had the bright idea of inventing some dart bar drinks. I don’t know enough about booze to be of any benefit to the creative process, but in a small way I was the inspiration. I was throwing pretty poorly and Jim had ordered a round of drinks. When the barkeep asked what I wanted I blurted out that “I needed a dart lesson”. A light bulb went off in Jim’s head I guess, because the next thing I know he had pen and paper in hand and was working on a recipe. And the shot now called the “dart lesson” was born. Its an ungodly mix of grenadine, jagermeister, Bailey’s and Midori. Given the various consistencies of the ingredients it makes for a layer of dart board colors in the shot glass. Looks good but the taste is pretty gross. So, we decided it would be a punishment drink, i.e., someone throws a bad round of darts and the call goes out to “give that guy a dart lesson”. That should provide some motivation to shoot well. Jim actually worked up a couple of more drinks, including a Ton-80. That consists of two parts Wild Turkey and one part Southern Comfort (to take the edge off). Now, I personally can barely drink whiskey as it triggers a gag reflex. But, Lonnie had thrown a Ton-80 at Jay Bar, so of course we had to give the new drink a try. Yikes, it is powerful concoction! Luckily (for me) Ton-80s are relatively rare.

So, today is the first day of my mini-vacation. I took today and Monday off, so I’m sitting on a 5 day New Year’s weekend. Not doing anything out of the ordinary though. Dart tourneys tonight and Sunday, and a New Year’s eve party at Dolce Vita are about all I have on my agenda.

Been trying to sell my deceased boss’ car for the past couple of months, and finally got a call this morning. So hopefully we will complete the sale on Monday. That will be a worry off my mind.

And that just about brings y’all up to the minute in the exciting world of LTG.

For Avery

Posted on 19/December/2007 by John McCrarey

Avery is the sweet girl second from the left. She is the daughter of my second wife and I am the only father she has known. Which is a shame because I have not been a good example of fatherhood for any of my children, but I have been especially neglectful of her. After the divorce I moved to Virginia and I drifted out of her life, seeing her on rare occasions but not ever being there for her. She always remained part of the family, especially with her brother and sister in South Carolina, but my emotional distance far exceeded the miles between us.

And no words here can ever make that right. In a lifetime of too many regrets, hurting her is one of the things I am most ashamed of.

She is an amazing young woman. Smart as hell, adventurous, compassionate, with a zeal for living life to its fullest and making the world around her a better place. I have always been extremely proud of her, even if I never adequately conveyed that to her. She is truly one of a kind and although I get none of the credit for the extraordinary woman she grew up to be, I am grateful that she is my daughter.

She recently graduated from university in Hawaii and I offer her my belated congratulations. I have no doubt that she will leave her mark on the world and touch many lives in a positive way. We share a spirit of wanderlust and I know she will make the most of her life experience on whatever path she chooses.

Words are just words. Yet I hope that in her heart she will sense all the love and respect this flawed man she calls Dad holds for her.

Another blogaversary

Posted on 12/December/2007 by John McCrarey

Hard to believe but I’ve actually been writing on this silly blog for three years now. But you can look it up–December 12, 2004 and 49,098 visitors later (which I calculate as maybe 30 or so masochists who keep coming back for more) I’m still plugging away, more or less.

So, for anyone who might care, here is the first post at Long Time Gone (back in my short-lived blogspot days). It’s actually a little embarrassing to read now because I was both full of myself and naive back then. But perhaps those attributes would fairly describe me today as well. Maybe the difference is now I don’t care! Or maybe I’m in denial. The only certainty is that it doesn’t matter. Life is what it is and it goes on until it doesn’t.

During these past three years my daughter gave birth to my first grandchild, my son got married to a lovely lady, Hillary made it home safe and sound from both tours in Afghanistan, Nolan got lost but is going to find his way eventually, and I became a stranger to friends and family.

I left looking for adventure and I guess comparatively speaking my life here has been that. It has cost me a lot more than I anticipated, but I think I have gained some understanding about myself along the way as well. Was it worth it? Would I do it again? I don’t know. And since you don’t get Mulligans in life the questions are meaningless.

I do like my life here very much. I’m not ready to go back to the USA now and I don’t know when or if I ever will. Lately I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I am not destined for a long life, and I just can’t see myself getting wrapped up in the rat race and drama that comes with living in America. But as Stephen Stills put it: “It’s no matter. No distance. It’s the ride”.

I have friends who have come and gone, and some that remain. I have my darts. My blog buddies (you know who you are). And a freakin’ ten minute commute to work.

Loneliness and feelings of loss and estrangement, sometimes I have that too. But I’m learning to embrace it all and call life good. And that is progress.

Folks, stick around. I can guarantee crap as bad as this post on semi-regular basis. What the hell, you’ve dealt with it for three years now. Whaddya got to lose?

Verbal essence…

Posted on 21/November/2007 by John McCrarey

Well, I had my Korean lesson last night. Acquired some more verbs. So, let’s see, along with my approximately 200 word vocabulary, I can now use verbs for things like put on (separate ones for clothes, hat/glasses, and shoes and socks), and its useful counterpart “take off”, drink, eat, hear, see, walk, touch, smell, sleep, hot, cold, say, and my personal favorite “hay-yo” (no, I still don’t have Hangul software. Any ideas?). I used “hay-yo” some at work today. Like every time I gave my secretary something to do. I’m told it translates as “do it”. She kinda didn’t like it though. Maybe its rude to give work and say do it? She did say my pronunciation was getting better everyday, so that’s something I guess. Now, if I could actually remember how to say these things without the freaking word staring me in the face I might feel more of a sense of accomplishment. Little by little (heh, poco a poco in Spanish) I suppose.

My lesson is moving from Tuesday to Saturday. I’m usually pretty worn out after work and my tutor is probably tired of me being too brain dead to get the value of her well-prepared lessons. And she really does work hard at teaching me. Always makes up a little game to play using what I learned. You know, just like in kindergarten. Don’t believe me? Check out my workbooks:

Yes indeed. I am the master of my universe. And how many of us get the opportunity to be six years old again?

Anyway, I am reading pretty well, but my comprehension still sucks. It’s funny, I will read something and sound it out (in see Dick run fashion), and be thinking what the hell does that mean? Example, coming home the other day I read the back of the tour bus in front of me. I’m like: Duh ee na stee. Duh ee na stee. No clue. Then I notice the small English lettering underneath: Dynasty. Yeah bud, I’m still pretty much clueless. But I’m trying.

People at work

Posted on 17/November/2007 by John McCrarey

So, in keeping with the theme of my working life, here’s a photo of my coworkers (well, the picture was taken on October 11, so my coworkers at that time).

My new family in Korea.

L-R Front Row: Corine Rodriguez; Kim, Yong-im; Yi, Kyong-ae; Sharon Alsop; Yi, Yong-in; So, Chong Cho; Yi, Tok Hui; Joel Springer
L-R Back Row: Choe, Song Won; Donna Cole; Kim, Yong-tae; Me; Bill Dyer; Leora Andersen; Bosong Mayer. (not pictured: Walt Washington)

Handsome group, eh? You can see our cool shed that serves as office space in the background.

So, since October 11 here’s what changed: Walt died. Corine left for a job in DC. Joel left for a promotion in HR at Installation Management Command-Korea. Donna has accepted a lateral assignment at the Civilian Personnel Advisory Center (CPAC) in Yongsan (although we are not releasing her until we have a replacement selected). Leora also took a job at the CPAC and left last week. Bosong took a job at the U.S. Embassy and leaves after next week.

As you might imagine, things are pretty f’d up at work right now. We are at 33% of our (already lean) U.S. staffing authorization. At this point we are just trying to avoid a critical mission failure, but my stress level is way up there. We will get through this. I’ve actually found replacements for Bosong, Joel, and Corine, although they won’t come on board until late January. Just got to suck it up until then.

You know, I don’t fault people for doing what they need to do to advance their careers. In a way, it’s a compliment when your people get promoted. Donna to her credit has been a real trooper in delaying her departure pending getting some new staff on board. I’m extremely disappointed in one individual that I consider selfish and disloyal. Everyone is replaceable though. And you burn bridges at your own peril. ‘Nuff said about that.

So that should bring y’all up to speed on my working life. Far be it from me to complain…

Ketchup

Posted on 23/August/2007 by John McCrarey

I’m not talking about tomato paste either. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, so I guess it’s time to play some catch up. Not that much has been happening mind you, but what the hell, that’s never stopped me before.

Last Friday I had some good darts at the Dolce Vita tournament. Two firsts and a second. Was feelin’ a pretty good beer high when I left, then stopped at a soju tent on the way home. A soju drunk on top of the beer was not the smartest idea I’ve had in awhile. Anyhow, got to talking with a couple of the trannies from a nearby tranny bar who were sitting there, which is always kinda interesting. I’ve seen some good looking lady boys on the street, but these “girls” would never be mistaken for anything other than men in drag. Don’t actually remember what we talked about, but I must have bought a lot of soju because I spent W60,000 which was equal to my darts winnings. Ah well, cruised on home about 0500.

I woke up Saturday a little after one, which would have been ok except I had to meet Grant, Rick and Lonnie at the Itaewon subway station at two. Grant is getting married on 1 September and the plan was to head on down to Songtan for a bachelor party. Well, I rushed around and made it, then we subwayed to Nambu bus terminal for the ride down to Songtan, arriving about 4:00.

Surprisingly, after 2 and half years in Korea this was my first trip down there. For those who don’t know, Songtan is the village right outside Osan Air Base. Which means there are lots of bars, shops, and other entertainment that caters primarily to a military clientèle. Kinda like Itaewon on speed.

So, the first thing Grant says is let’s get our hotel rooms. I said, excuse me, no one said anything to me about spending the night. Call me old fashioned but when I do an overnighter I like to carry a change of clothes and a toothbrush. Rick and Lonnie said they hadn’t decided whether they were spending the night yet, so we kinda just let it slide. So we hit the dart supply shop and stocked up some dart paraphernalia. Then we decided to eat. I was thinking a good burger would hit the spot, but the other guys wanted Thai. Just what my stomach needed after a night of soju. I got some seafood noodles at spice level 2 (out of 5) and they went down ok.

Notwithstanding my hangover we decided it was time to drink some beer and play some darts. So, we did a bit of bar crawling and there were quite a few dart bars along the way. There is a dart tourney in Songtan every Saturday night and I was up for playing, but Rick and Lonnie had other ideas. So, we put away the darts and switched to the entertainment bars. I can’t recall the names of most of them, but I do know the first one we tried wouldn’t seat us because the other guys were carrying backpacks (yeah, they brought a change of clothes). So we wound up at a place called UN Club.

Ok, it was a juicy bar. And in between buying W10,000 juice drinks, the girls would do a pole dance on stage. Sexy outfits but no exposed breasts or anything like that. Now, those girls shore were friendly and being that it was a bachelor party and all we let them entertain us for awhile (in exchange for us buying them drinks of course. The girl sitting beside me was covered in tattoos which is kinda of a turn off, but since I was not looking for love in all the wrong places it didn’t matter much. An unnamed guy (hey there is honor among thieves) and the girl he was sitting with were really getting along in an up close and personal kinda way however. After a couple of hours we were ready to move on and being as how there weren’t many other suckers, I mean customers, around they were probably sincerely sorry to see us go. Once we got outside, Grant brought up the hotel room thing again. By now Rick and Lonnie had decided to stay and the unnamed one was wanting to get to “know” the girl from UN Club, so he got a room too. I had no intention of staying and knowing I had to find my way back on my own dampened my spirits a bit.

But being the good trooper that I am, I decided to hang awhile anyway. So, we stopped at Mickey D’s for the burger I was craving then moved on to some “go go” bars. These basically featured cute (mostly) young Filipinas dancing on stage in mini-skirts. Guess I’m getting old, but it just didn’t do much for me. One young dancer (couldn’t have been more than 19) wanted to sit with me after her dance, but I sent her away to Rick instead. Just wasn’t in the mood for that kind of company.

So about midnight the guys decided they were ready for a return visit to UN Club. Which is when I said my goodbyes. I was as drunk as I wanted to be and unlike them, I still had to make it home. So, I found my way back to the bus station, and of course it was closed. So, I hailed a cab and asked if he wanted to take me to Itaewon. The cabbie agreed and we were off. Of course, after midnight taxi fares are higher but I was surprised at just how fast the meter was rolling off the Won. I checked my wallet and found W73,000, so I crossed my fingers that I would have enough for the trip. As fate would have it, when we he pulled up to my door 40 minutes later the fare came to W71,000. So, I gave him the W73,000, said kamsamnida, and headed upstairs. Yeah, I could have gotten a room for less than the cab fare, but I was glad to be home.

And on Sunday I rested (hey, it worked for the Lord). Watched a good movie called “The Departed”.

Monday was dart league. We played one of the weaker teams in our division, T.A.P. from 3 Alley Pub. We took them down 14-5, which is even more impressive than it sounds because our best player Cuatro was not available due to the military exercise. I went 6-0 with a few marks which will hopefully move me up from my embarrassing 14th place ranking.

I also found out Monday that my star employee Corine has accepted a job in Washington, DC. She is leaving at the worst possible time, but I can’t fault her as it is a big promotion. So, I am happy for her but pretty bummed to be losing her. She has been like a big sister to me and I am going to really miss her friendship as well as her stellar job performance. Anyway, I’ll say more about her later, I am really not wanting to think about it much now. She is here until 15 October, but I won’t be able to get a replacement on board before she leaves. My only other US employee (the one who had twins) is leaving next Friday. So, I’m pretty much fucked work wise, but that’s life.

Tuesday was my 3rd week of Korean lessons from my tutor. I have to give her credit, she does a lot of preparation for me. Makes little games so I can practice what she has taught me. Although it makes me feel like I’m in kindergarten, which is probably about the right assessment of my current skill level. Still, I am reading better and she says my pronunciation is good. At this point I am just building vocabulary, I am a long way from conversation. I’m enjoying doing the reciprocal English lessons I’m providing, although I don’t work near as hard at it as she does. She says it is helping and she seems appreciative, so I’m glad for that. I need to have her and her husband over for dinner one of these days. I’ve met him a couple of times now. He is a Korean rapper, apparently of some local fame (at least he has a weekend radio show). His stage name is “Rapatizer”, but I’ve never heard him perform. He dresses kinda urban and has a big afro which is a little peculiar looking on a Korean guy. Tells me he is going to get some corn rows soon. Ok, then.

Last night I got asked to pinch hit for a missing player on the Dolce Vita pool league team. I haven’t even picked up a pool stick for months. So, I had low expectations going in and I managed to achieve them. Well, I won one game when my opponent scratched on the 8-ball. Still, I guess that was better than a forfeit.

And so that brings us up to the moment. Glad we had this chance to catsup.

And another one gone

Posted on 11/August/2007 by John McCrarey

It’s the time of the season again. Soldiers rotating out after completing their tour of duty in Korea. A good thing for them of course, but it also means saying goodbye to friends.

This time we bid farewell to Mario. A great guy who always wears a big shit eatin’ grin on his face and is quick to laugh and offer words of encouragement. He joined our dart team last year and really contributed to our successful season. Just an all around great guy who kept us loose and always found a way to keep it fun. He is missed already.

Anyway, we did his going away gig at Dolce Vita Thursday night. Lots of food and beer and a dart tournament called “Last Chance to Beat Mario”. I wound up playing against Mario and his partner. I admit to being somewhat conflicted because while it would be nice for Mario to take first in the tourney held in his honor, I only play darts one way–to win. So, we took the first leg in cricket, and they came back to take the ’01 leg. We jumped out to an early lead in the third cricket leg, but then Mario threw a 7-mark on 15s for points. Damn dude. We got beat fair and square and Mario wound up taking the championship match. And I got W5000 for 3rd. Perfect ending!

Mario’s next duty station is in Hawaii so don’t feel too sorry for him. Here’s some pictures from Thursday night:

Mario in action. Should have blinded him BEFORE that 7-mark!

Mario and Se Hwa.

Food, beer, and darts. Does it get any better than this?

Mario’s friend and teammate Lonnie.

Jun from Bless U Pub.

Me and my partner Mac. We gave Mario a good game, but in the end he was just too good for us.

Petro, the dart league president and a Korean guy I’ve never seen before.

Mario holding court. I think these are some of his Hash friends.

Jim, Dolce owner, teammate, and host of the event. Dolce kicked in W100,000 to sweeten the tourney pot.

Mario modeling our new dart league Jersey. Pretty cool, huh? Lonnie did the graphic design.

Bill and Joon. Got an invite to their wedding in October.

Mario with his share of the winnings from the tourney victory. Good luck spending that Won in Hawaii dude!

So, that’s the report on Mario’s big night. Dolce is going to be a lot quieter without you and here’s hoping our paths cross again one day…

“Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat…”

Posted on 28/July/2007 by John McCrarey

Sorry, wrong hat.

Oh well, just thought it was time for a quick update on my so called life. Just finished a somewhat stressful week at work. I have been temporarily promoted to the Deputy Director position while the incumbent continues his battle with cancer. No big deal really, I’ve been basically performing the duties for the past several months. Now I’ll just make a tad more money for the effort.

One of my star employees has interviewed for a job in the States. I’m pretty much f’ed if she takes it as she is heading up the transition to the new National Security Personnel System, which is a ton of work and she has been doing an outstanding job with all the details required for our November implementation. I’ve been pushing her as hard as I dare to stay, but I think she will go if the offer is made. Well, no point in worrying about it overmuch, life goes on.

I was also recently “awarded” my first medal from the Army. Yes, folks, I am the proud recipient of the Korean Civilian Service Medal. What did I do to earn this honor you ask? Why, I completed two years of service here in the land of the morning calm. Which I guess makes it kinda akin to a Special Olympics participant award, but you know I still thought it was pretty cool. I guess I’m just easily pleased these days.

Lately I find myself dreaming of the Philippines. I’ve been checking out some expat websites and it is pretty amazing how well you can live there for just a small amount of money. I’m talking about having a nice house, live in maid, and livin’ large for two grand a month. And there are some real beautiful places, whether you like the beach or the mountains. It’s a freakin’ tropical paradise. Yeah, I need to go there and check it out on the ground. The poverty that surrounds you would take some getting use to for one thing. Still, nowhere is perfect and all things being equal I think I could adapt to living like a king in my golden years. Here’s one of the houses I kinda liked:

This is in a new subdivision in Tagaypay, a couple of hours north of Manila. It is actually pretty expensive for the Philippines at 6 million pesos, or about $122,000 US. I’ve seen better deals out there, but I’ve always fancied the idea of living in a log house. And this house would cost three times that in the USA. Well, who knows what the future holds. You gotta take each day one at a time and not get caught up living in the future (or the past for that matter). But it is also prudent to plan ahead. Watching my boss fight his battle with cancer and seeing people my age dying unexpectedly is pretty good motivation for thinking about what is really important in life. For me, it sure as hell isn’t work. I’m thinking January 2, 2011 is when I’m going to check out from the rat race. Here’s hoping I live that long.

I finally had some coworkers, including my Director, over for a dinner party last weekend. It went pretty well I suppose, although I’m not much for being a host. Lots of pressure to have everything turn out right. My boss finally told me to relax and enjoy myself. So, I had some more beer and things did turn out ok. Afterwards we all headed over to Grand Ol’ Opry for some good old fashion country music. We got a kick out of watching the Koreans doing the line dances and Texas two-step. Most of them are damn good and certainly much better at American-style dancing than I am. And of course at midnight we all stood up and sang “Proud to be an American” and “The Star Spangled Banner” which is the tradition at the Opry. A good night all in all.

What else? Well, I have hired a Korean tutor. My self-study program had kinda hit a wall, owing mostly to my lack of motivation and my tendency to be easily distracted (i.e. I find practicing darts more pleasurable than practicing Korean). Anyway, my tutor is the sister of a friend and I’m hoping my ego (read: fear of appearing stupid) will help me get my ass in gear and actually study. Plus, I am paying for these lessons so maybe the desire to get my money’s worth will also provide some incentive. I’ve also agreed to give her one hour a week of English tutoring (for free). I’m kinda looking forward to seeing if I’m any good at that sorta thing. I’m going to the bookstore later today to find an appropriate textbook to use.

And finally, let’s talk darts. I’m off to a slow start so far this season. I’ve managed to go 8-4 through the first two weeks, but my game is definitely off. I’m not getting much in the way of marks, and every leg is a struggle. Surprisingly, my wins are coming mostly in ’01 although I still believe cricket is my best game. I’ve been working hard in practice at hitting more triples, and that paid off last night in the Dolce tourney as I won the singles and finished second in doubles. Maybe I’m breaking out of my slump, we’ll see what happens Monday night.

And there you have it. The latest and greatest from yours truly.

Gee it’s good to be back home again…

Posted on 10/July/2007 by John McCrarey

Back from my travels. Started in Orlando for a conference. Great hotel, but everything was expensive. Blew a week’s per diem on the first day I reckon.

Then it was vacation time. Flew back to San Francisco, rented a car and did a whirlwind tour. Visted my brother in the bay area, then drove through the Sierra Nevada mountains and Death Valley on my way to Las Vegas.

Vegas was Vegas. The blackjack tables weren’t totally unkind, but given that I never know when to stop I left some money to help pay the light bills. I actually spent some time at the tables in New York, New York but had left the day before the shootings. So, I missed out on all the excitement, but I guess that was a good thing.

Drove back through the city of my birth, Los Angeles, and had a great Korean dinner in Korea town. Never had been there and it was pretty interesting to find myself in a Seoul-like environment smack dab in the City of Angels.

Then it was up the beautiful California coastline to San Fran, on the airplane and home safe and sound last night. Feels like I was gone forever and it was nice to sleep in my own bed again last night.

Sorry that I was not able to see more friends and family this trip, but I was taking some time for me. Hopefully I will carry forward a better frame of mind and outlook on this so called life of mine.

I do appreciate all the good thoughts and wishes y’all sent my way.

So, its back to darts…

Strange happenings

Posted on 11/May/2007 by John McCrarey

I had a kinda weird night yesterday. It started out in typical fashion with me playing darts at Dolce Vita. I got there around 7 and left around 10. I had 3 (or maybe 4) draft beers during that time frame and also consumed 3 slices of pizza.

I walked home to the villa and as is my habit took the stairs from the basement parking garage up to my abode. Now, I live on the second floor, which makes 3 flights of stairs. Ok, sometimes I get confused and lose count. Like last night. So, I punch in my code on the front door keypad, open the door and step inside my apartment. Only, it wasn’t MY apartment. Which dawned on me pretty quickly when I noted the tasteful furnishings and lack of clutter, not to mention a barking dog.

So, I beat a hasty retreat but was more than a little astounded that the apartment directly below mine has the exact same four digit combination that I chose for my door (and just recently changed due to my having fired my now former housekeeper). What are the odds of that happening? (meaning the same combination, not the odds of me firing the housekeeper).

Shortly thereafter I needed to run a quick errand near the Hangangjin subway station. It’s only a few blocks away and I could have easily walked, but I didn’t. You know, one of the first observations most folks make upon moving to Korea is that traffic laws are very loosely enforced. Running red lights, driving on the sidewalk, illegal parking are all par for the course. Not that I engage in such practices, but it is a common enough occurrence as to not warrant more than a shrug.

The one exception I have noticed is drunk driving enforcement. Several times I have encountered the check points where the Korean police stop you and have you blow into a breathalyzer and then proceed on your way (provided you blow negative, which of course has always been the case with me). I support such tactics because it is insane to drive while drunk. When I’m driving in this wonderful country it often seems like even the stone cold sober drivers operate their vehicles as if inebriated. Maintaining strict situational awareness and exercising maximum defensive driving techniques is mandatory when sharing the road with insane cabbies, aggressive bus drivers, fearless motor scooter operators, and a generally clueless driving population.

Anyway, last night one of these checkpoints was set up right in front of the Hangangjin subway station. Now, I KNEW I was not drunk, but I also knew that I had never had anything to drink when I previously had to do the “blow and go” routine. Although I was not overly worried, I admit I was a tad disconcerted. So, I put my window down, the police officer sticks the breath detector in my face, I blow, and it beeps. He tells me to blow again, and I get the same result. At this point, another policeman, rather burly by Korean standards, comes to the window and barks “get out of the car”. I said, do you want me to pull over to the side of the road (this is a major four lane street) and he responds by yelling “GET OUT OF THE CAR”. So, I get out of the car and he gestures for me to go over to a police car parked at the side of the street.

Ok, at this point I am no longer disconcerted, I am actually feeling a fair amount of fear regarding the possible outcome and consequences of my first encounter with Korean law enforcement. I was quite confident I was not drunk, legally or otherwise, I’m a big guy and 3 or 4 beers over a 3 or 4 hour time period is just not enough to get me there. But that damn box I blew into seemed to believe otherwise. So the cop at the side of the road asks for my drivers license and asks if I speak hangul-mal. I figured if he heard my Korean he would definitely think I was drunk, so I said “annio”. About this time the burly cop walks up (he had moved my car to the side of the road) and asks for my license, and I indicated the other cop already had it. He took it, saw it was a SOFA license, and asked if I was Army. I said civilian. He then asked the question cops the world over must ask in this situation: “how much have you been drinking?” and I gave the standard response of “two beers” (yeah, yeah, not the whole truth but I was under a lot of stress).

The first cop then starts explaining the facts of life. Well, not explaining as much as drawing me a picture. On a piece of paper he wrote .5 with an arrow pointing up and .2 with an arrow pointing down. He pointed at the up arrow and said something about license and “100 days”, which I guess meant a suspension although in the back of my mind I was wondering about Korean prison conditions. I never did grasp the significance of the .2 and down arrow. Then he set up the high tech breathalyzer with a tube to blow in. They gave me some water and indicated I should gargle, which seemed like a good idea to me too. He patiently demonstrated how I was to blow into the tube, and showed me that the breath reader was set at 00.0. So, I blew. But the cop said “not long enough”. He reset to zero and had me blow again and I got it right this time.

Then we all stood there watching my “score” get tallied. It went 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and I was about to freak out until I realized that it was the number after the decimal. Whew. Then the big numbers came up, but thankfully stopped well under that ominous “5”. 2.5 to be exact, one half of the legal limit. So, I was vindicated. Mr. Burly Cop returned my keys and said I could go.

I must admit my heart was racing and I had to smoke a couple of cigarettes before I resumed driving. You know, I was not drunk but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t stupid. Stupid for putting myself in that situation. Stupid for driving after any drinking period. Especially when I know you have to have your wits about you whenever you drive the mean streets of Seoul. Had I been in an accident I have no illusions about who the courts would deem to be at fault.

So, that was my lesson learned and my advice to you wherever you may be is: if you drink, don’t drive. Nothing good can come of it.

Taking it to the next level

Posted on 30/March/2007 by John McCrarey

Last night I completed my first level in my ongoing effort to develop at least some ability to speak Korean. I know my “alphabet” and I can read Hangul now. Not that I know what the hell I’m reading means, but it is good to not be totally illiterate.

My level 2 text looks pretty interesting. I will be learning grammar and sentence structure. And the instruction will be more of a one-on-one format which should make it a little easier. I think my biggest problem is going to be understanding the spoken word. Well, practice, practice, practice is my plan.

Subway

Posted on 23/March/2007 by John McCrarey

Had an interesting evening tonight. My realtor invited me to a dinner show at the Walker Hill Shearton. Her way of saying thanks for renewing my lease (and her commission). Also, I am not a pain in the ass for them as I tend to take care of problems directly with the landlord. She is trying to get the owner to pick up my internet fees as part of the lease. Don’t see why he would do that now that I’ve signed, but we shall see. I might start being a pain in the ass in retaliation if they don’t want to negotiate…

Anyway, the show was surprisingly good overall. During dinner we were treated to some traditional Korean dancing and music, including a great percussion performance and some fan dancing. Quite pleasing to watch. The food was about what you would expect at a dinner theatre, but I cleaned my plate anyway (steak and sweet potato). No idea what the price was because of course she picked up the tab. She mentioned wanting to go to 3 Alley Pub, so I told her I would reciprocate by taking her there some time. I’ll come out ahead on that deal for sure.

So, the main show was called “Subway”. The premise was you followed a subway through several stops in various cities and the performers did song and dance routines from Broadway productions set in that venue. Started in NYC, then Chicago, London, Seoul, Buenos Aires, and Rio de Janiero.

The performers were average for professionals (I’ve actually seen better in community theatre), but the stage props and settings were outstanding. I had seen the musical “Chicago” on Broadway, and the rendition of All That Jazz and Cell Block Tango were pretty disappointing by comparison. Still, they wore some damn sexy costumes so you take the good with the bad I suppose. For Seoul, they kinda wimped out and had some youngsters break dancing and then did some Abba numbers pretending it was a concert in Seoul. Talk about western cultural imperialism!

Ah well, it was free and it was different. And actually pretty entertaining for the most part. I’d give one thumb up and depending on what it actually costs to see the performance would recommend it as a change of pace.

A clean, well-lighted place

Posted on 09/December/2006 by John McCrarey

I don’t know why really, but in my boredom this morning I am recalling a short story by Ernest Hemingway which not so coincidentally has the same title as this post. I was a much younger man when I had to write a paper on the story for a college course in American literature. I found it haunting then, but from the perspective of my advanced years I have a deeper understanding and appreciation for what Hemingway was saying. Of course, the paper I wrote is either long gone or in a box in the garage back home (I do tend to be something of a pack rat), but you can read a take on the story by Elizabeth Wall I generally concur with here. A teaser:

The main focus of “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place” is on the pain of old age suffered by a man that we meet in a cafe late one night. Hemingway contrasts light and dark to show the difference between this man and the young people around him, and uses his deafness as an image of his separation from the rest of the world. Near the end of the story, the author shows us the desperate emptiness of a life near finished without the fruit of its labor, and the aggravation of the old man’s restless mind that cannot find peace. Throughout this story stark images of desperation show the old man’s life at a point when he has realized the futility of life and finds himself the lonely object of scorn.

Anyway, here in the real world I continue to plod (or maybe slog) along. Work was a little stressful this week. My boss was on leave the past couple of days so I had the pleasure of attending several meetings in her stead. Actually some interesting stuff going on but it’s classified so I’m not at liberty to talk about it here. I did have the experience of being grilled by a 3-star on a topic I was not as prepared for as I should have been. Not real pleasant to be sure.

After work yesterday we all went to the boss’ house for her annual Christmas gathering with the staff. She’s an excellent hostess and cook and it is always nice for everyone to get together outside of the working environment. I’ll post a couple of pictures of our group next week.

I got back home around 8:00 and it being Friday night and all I headed out to Dolce Vita. Duke and Lonnie had already left for Hongdae to play soft tip darts. Jim was there though and we killed a couple of hours at the dart board. Later June (I wrote about her once in a post called “Sodomy”) came in half lit and wanted to throw darts with us. Lonnie’s girlfriend Cindy was there as well and she was feeling like a darts widow (my words, not hers) so we invited her to join in for a doubles match. Jim and June prevailed in a hard fought match despite Cindy throwing an unlikely ton-17 (two double bulls!) in the ’01 leg.

I was ready for a change of scenery and Cindy asked if she could tag along. Cindy is a sweet Korean gal who has not had much exposure to Americans prior to hooking up with Lonnie (although I understand she did live in Canada briefly). I asked her if she had ever been to a country bar and she said no so it was off to Grand Ol’ Opry. Turns out she had never been up “the hill” either and she was quite taken aback by the prostitutes sitting in the doorways of the hooker bars as we made our way to the Opry. Somewhat surprisingly, the place wasn’t too crowded and we were able to get a table near the dance floor. She was quite impressed as she watched some pretty good country dancers. I introduced her to the Texas two-step and she did pretty good for her first time (especially since I’m a generally crappy dancer). At midnight, as is the Grand Ol’ Opry tradition, we all stood and sang “God Bless the USA” followed by “The Star Spangled Banner”. Not sure what Cindy thought of that, but I love the hell out of it. We watched a couple of line dances (which I DO NOT ever attempt) and having finished our beers departed.

On the way back down the hill we stopped in to see my friends at Debut. I’ve written about it before, just a small place filled with good people (at least most of the time), good music and friendly staff. It’s like an oasis in a desert of depravity and I will stop in once a week or so for a night cap as I make my way home. It’s definitely an after hours kinda place, doesn’t open till 9:00 and doesn’t get busy until 2 or 3 a.m. Anyway, Cindy caught the good vibes there right away and seemed to enjoy the cozy atmosphere. She was trying desperately to reach Lonnie on her cell phone without success, but I reassured her that he was busy with darts and likely couldn’t hear his phone.

Being the gentlemen that I am, I escorted her back to Dolce Vita so she could rendevous with Lonnie when he finished darts. It was almost 1:00 and all the soldiers were rushing out to beat curfew. Jim and YJ were there along with the bar staff, and Jim bought us a round of drinks. Lonnie and Duke arrived around 1:30 and I told Lonnie he owed me 20 bucks for babysitting his girlfriend all night. Of course, I actually enjoyed showing her a good time and since I never have an escort when I make my bar circuit it probably helped my image to be seen around town with an attractive Korean woman.

June came in around 2:00 about as drunk as you can be and still be standing. Actually, she was not standing long because next thing we heard was a big crash and we turned around to find her sprawled on the floor. Duke helped her up and into a chair where she sat for a few minutes before heading out. June is a really cool woman and it makes me sad to see her drink to excess. Duke says her problem is that she makes bad choices with men, gets her heart broken, and then drinks to get them off her mind. Well, there are lots of sad stories in Itaewon, that’s for sure.

The McDonald’s in Itaewon is now open 24 hours. It had been awhile since I had anything to eat and I got to craving some trans fats from Mickey D. Only the second time that’s happened since I’ve been in Korea. Duke agreed to join me, so we said our goodbyes to the Dolce crew and headed out. There was a light rain falling and out in the middle of Itaewon Blvd we observed June staggering about apparently trying to hail a taxi. Seeing as how it was just as likely that she would get run over as catch a cab, Duke pulled her out of the street and I took on the chore of finding a cab. Which proved to be unusually difficult. I guess because of the rain and late hour, everyone in Seoul had filled what is normally an endless supply of taxis. Meanwhile June was resisting our efforts to get her home safely and Duke had to physically restrain her, taking a couple of blows to the face in the process. As I looked down the street I could see several people also waiting for an empty cab. Realizing it may take an hour of standing in the rain before an empty cab got to us, I suggested crossing the street where at least we would be at the head of the queue. June was not happy about that insisting she wanted to go in the other direction. Well, there’s no reasoning with a drunk person so we manhandled her across the street.

About this time SongHee, one of the Dolce bartenders, got off work and she assisted Duke with controlling June while I continued my attempts to get a taxi to stop. Finally one did. We wrestled a reluctant June into the cab who was protesting that she didn’t want to go in that direction. She couldn’t grasp the concept of a U-turn apparently. So she’s in the cab but the driver refuses to take her anywhere in her inebriated condition. Out she comes, and we are back to square one. I’m a little pissed at this point and I tell her in my “big voice” that she is going to get in the next fuckin’ cab and go home. She nodded sheepishly and five minutes later we had her in a taxi and on her way. Hopefully she made it home without incident, but there is only so much you can do.

SongHee needed a cab too, but we invited her to join us at McDonalds. She thought that was a great idea and off we went to dine on burgers, fries, and sundaes at 3 in the morning. After our meal Duke headed home on foot and I managed to snag a cab for SongHee which I shared as far as the Cheil building near my villa.

Yep, it’s a wonderful life. Tonight I am playing in a soft tips tournament in Nowan (I have got to get out of Itaewon before I lose what is left of my mind). Tomorrow is another darts tourney at Dolce. Yes siree.

After re-reading the sad commentary above, I guess I understand why I’m in a Hemingway state of mind:

It was all nothing, and a man was nothing, too…Some lived in it and never felt it but he knew it was nada y pues nada y pues nada. Our nada who art in nada nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee…

I’m just too old for this shit.

Thanksgiving and Goodbyes

Posted on 26/November/2006 by John McCrarey

I’ve been a long time gone, haven’t I? What can I say other than to apologize for my general lack of motivation to post. But I have a quiet moment on a Sunday night so I’ll share it with you. Yeah, you. You know who you are. (Kinda neat how I made anyone who is reading this post feel special, isn’t it? Like when Elton John did “Your Song”. There is something to be said for the universal approach, and I do want both of my readers to feel included. Just the kinda guy I am).

Anyway, today I took my son Nolan to the airport and he is currently somewhere over the wide Pacific on his journey home. He had three great months in Korea and hated to leave. But no job (or visa) was found, so he had to go. He made lots of friends (certainly far more than I have in over 2 years here) and I think the experience was a very positive one for him. Anyway, he is always welcome to come back and I think that is an option he will consider. I know he will be missed by many, including me. The house already seems oddly quiet and empty. Much like my life, but I’m not going there in this post!

We had a great Thanksgiving celebration at Dolce Vita. We bought 2 nice turkeys on base (already cooked and surprisingly moist and tasty). Did pot luck on the sides, and had the usual fixin’s including mashed taters and gravy, dressing, corn, cranberry, rolls, pumpernickel bread (with YJ’s great dip) fruit salad, carrot cake, pumpkin and apple pies, and a cobbler. It really turned out well. I eat American all the time having access to the base commissary, but my expat English teacher friends really enjoyed having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Our Korean guests got a taste of something new and even added kimchi as a side. Yum, turkey and kimchi! I did miss having candied yams and green bean casserole, but the guys did the cooking for this event and having no Big Hominid amongst us, we had to make do with what our limited skills allowed.

Wanna see some pictures? Ok then:

The bird. We bought two of them and had precious little leftovers.

Somehow I got stuck with carving duties. Back home I use an electric knife. I managed though.

See? I cut that baby up into tasty morsels. You can see my famous “Aunt Pat’s Recipe” fruit salad in the background. Lonnie did a great job on the potatos and dressing.

I baked that carrot cake and we bought some pies from the bakery on post. It was all good.

Cuatro is a soldier and captain of our dart team. He arrived with his girlfriend (whose name escapes me at the moment, sorry) ready to chow down.

After dining, we did some socializing…here’s Nolan with Duke’s mom, Candy.

Of course, some dart games broke out. Here’s Mario taking his best shot (of course the flash was a little distracting).

Lonnie takes his turn…

Wherever there is a pool table you are likely to find Nolan.

Me and Duke posing for the camera. No, I am not as drunk as I might appear in this photo. I probably am that fat however….

Jim seemed awfully happy to pose for a picture with Bill’s girlfriend Joon…

Nolan’s girlfriend (well, I guess former girlfriend) Sophia. A German exchange student. I know she hated to see him go. I have a funny story about her but I think I will keep it to myself. I am sure she would be grateful for my discretion.

Joon and Nolan became very good friends during his time here. And yes, Nolan *may* have been as drunk as he appears…

“The 8 ball goes in the middle”. The Korean women in attendance spent a lot of time on the pool table.

Gene throws while Kyle looks on. We had an impromptu dart tourney which Kyle and I had the good fortune to win as partners. 20,000Won each. WooHoo!

Zeke and his lady friend. SongHee is one of the new barkeeps at Dolce. In the deep background is Haelee who is very camera shy. I was surprised I actually captured her here. Zeke is a great guy who works at the hospital on base. A couple of months ago I was getting treated for diaper rash (don’t ask!) and he told the nurse I was a VIP. She believed him and I got excellent treatment during my visit. Thanks again, Zeke!

“Dead eye” Joon lines up for the shot…

“No way you are going to make that shot Nolan”

Joon, Yoolee, and Sophia looking pretty as usual. Yoolee is from Indonesia and just married Tom here in Korea. They are going to do a traditional Muslim wedding back home in January. I’ve been invited to the reception in Bali and if things work out I’ll be there.

Duke’s girlfriend JiYoung is a fine looking darts player, if you know what I mean…

JiYoung and her cute girlfriends. If we ever got introduced the names are lost in the fog of too much turkey and beer…

Tom and Dave, two great guys who happen to play darts for our arch rivals the Rubbies. As of today Tom is ranked number 3, I’m 4 and Dave is 5. Its very close and with two weeks to go in the season we all think that order is subject to change. They way I have been throwing (lousy) it just might.

So that was my Thanksgiving. Really had a great time. Wish y’all could have been there. Yeah, I’m talking to you!

4 Non Blondes

Posted on 03/October/2006 by John McCrarey

Nope, not a post about the singing group, just thought using that title for this post would be more interesting than “what’s going on”. Clever eh?

UPDATE: My usual boring drivel follows, but if you scroll down I have some pretty cool pictures to look at.

Yes, as I have been reminded several times it has been quite some time since my last post. You haven’t missed much. Long time readers probably know that when I take an unannounced hiatus I’m usually in some kind of funk or another and these past couple of weeks have been no exception. Not to worry, its no big deal. Just had to overcome some disappointment but I’m well on my way to regaining perspective and getting on with the business of life. Such as it is.

Actually, as mundane as things have been I don’t really have much to complain about. But I also have precious little to say that is blog worthy. Never having let that stop me before I will share what’s going on:

Nanta. A great show, in fact one of the most fun things I’ve done in awhile. Hard to describe really. Lots of percussion, but very creative use of kitchen utensils. Funny storyline, great acting and just flat out entertaining. I would go again and I highly recommend it.

Darts. I bought some fancy new darts and I’ve been throwing them well. Our team remains in first place. I’m holding on to my #5 ranking in “B” division. And I’m being asked about playing in “A” division next season. I’d only do that if Dolce Vita fields an “A” league team. I want to keep having fun and Dolce is where my bar loyalty resides.

Fantasy Football. My team, Itaewon Sweet Life, remains undefeated through week four. As much luck as anything because I’m not scoring many points, just more than my opponents. Having fun with it though.

Saturday night/Sunday morning. It’s not news that I spend my weekends throwing darts and drinking beer, sometimes doing both to excess. No exception this past weekend. My big blogable event was a couple of things I witnessed in Itaewon. After the darts tournament at Blue Frog (since the outcome was so disappointing I will not mention it here) I’m walking over to Dolce. I observed 4 people getting in a cab. One up front, three in the back. Well, two in the back and one half way in. And the cab took off. The poor SOB that had one leg in the cab and one on the street is screaming “wait! wait! wait! The cabbie either didn’t hear or didn’t understand English because he kept accelerating. Of course, the guy couldn’t run on one leg as fast as the cab was moving and he tumbled into the street and rolled over a few times before coming to a stop in the middle of the street. Where he lay moaning loudly. The cab finally stopped and his friends ran over to offer assistance. After a few minutes they got the guy up on his feet and he appeared to be mostly ok (at least no broken bones). The cabbie stood there looking sheepish while his passengers berated him with “what were you thinking?” I moved on. I guess the lesson learned is don’t be the last one in the cab.

The other incident occurred at the end of a LONG night out. I’m walking home in the wee hours of Sunday morning. In the narrow alley behind my apartment I see a body laying right in the middle of the road. As I got closer I saw that it was a western woman. I bent down and said “hey, you need to get up!” She kinda moaned and said “no, I’m ok”. I told her “you can’t sleep here, you’ll get run over by a car”. She didn’t respond, so I told her sternly “you have to get up” and grabbed her hand and tried to pull her to her feet. She didn’t resist and said “I drank too much tonight”. No duh I thought to myself. I noticed her accent and asked if she was Australian. She said “I’m from New Zealand”. I noticed she was bleeding on her forehead and chin, but she had no recollection of what happened. I asked if she lived nearby and she said yes so I told her I would help her get home. She lived down a small alley a couple of blocks from my place. She kept thanking me for helping her and I told her we all have to take care of each other here. As we got close she repeatedly said “oh, my husband is going to be so mad at me”. Which of course I wanted no part of, so once she assured me she could make it the rest of the way, I retreated.

Ok, so not much meat to those bookends of my night but that is basically the most excitement I have had in awhile. Save your sympathy, I’m not sure how much excitement I can stand these days anyway.

As for work, well we are busy. There will be some announcement coming next week on the future of 8th Army in Korea. No inside scoop, but I think we all see the writing on the wall. I’ll just say Aloha. Couple that with the pending wartime command and control decision and I have to believe this is the beginning of end for significant U.S. ground troop presence in the ROK. We shall see.

We recently had the Civilian Employee of the Year ceremony here at Yongsan. It’s a really big deal, with the Honor Guard, 8th Army band and all that pomp and circumstance. GEN Bell is the host. My office is responsible for making it happen every year and its a lot of work. And you absolutely cannot screw up any aspect given its high profile. This year was especially nice because one of my employees, Mr. Kim, Yong-tae, was selected as the Korean Manager of the Year. Well deserved and it was great to see him recognized for his many accomplishments and dedication. Here’s some photos:

The band enters the parade ground

Color guard front and center

GEN Bell and CSM Wheeler escorted to the review stand

The ceremony begins with the presentation of colors

And then the presentation of awards to the Civilians of the Year. That’s my Mr. Kim being honored by GEN Bell.

GEN Bell had some very nice words regarding the importance of our US and ROK civilian workforce to mission accomplishment here in Korea.

GEN Bell asked Mr. Kim to stand and then he publically thanked him for his 53 years of service with USFK.

LTG Valcourt, Commader, 8th US Army, and his ROK Army couterparts.

The 2006 Civilians of the Year. As GEN Bell said, they are truly the best of the best.

The Honor Guard passes in review…

…while the band plays the songs of the Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Army.

Mr. Kim, Yong-tae, the most amazing man I have met and been honored to work with in nearly 30 years of government service.

The proud team of the Directorate of Human Resources Management. And Nolan.

Ok, well that’s that. Nolan’s doing well, just need to get him that job so he can move forward with his life here. It looks like he’s settled on the German girl he met, although he admits its sorta ironic to move to Korea and date a European.

So I guess to end this post on the same theme it started I’ll say: Hey yay yay yay, hey yay yay yay [that’s] what’s going on….

Adventures in driving

Posted on 01/September/2006 by John McCrarey

So, at 1600 yesterday I am ready to head out to the airport. I open the garage door only to discover a car parked completely blocking my exit. Now, I’ve lived here long enough to know that the natives pretty much park whereever they please, but to actually block the entrance to a parking area for an entire apartment building is especially discourteous. So I get out of my vehicle and look around for the driver. There’s two Korean guys standing across the street watching me but they give no indication they know anything about the whereabouts of the owner of the offending vehicle.

Knowing how it’s done, I pull out my cell phone and call the number on the windshield. No answer. I left a rather nasty message in English. Now I’m very frustrated and highly pissed. I go back upstairs and call my landlord telling him he needs to get a tow truck because I had to get to the airport. He said he’d call the police, so I go back downstairs to wait. One of the two guys from across the street comes over and starts talking to me in Korean. All I recognized was “Hangul-mal” so I knew he was asking if I spoke Korean. I told him no, but he continued to speak to me while I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

About this time my landlord’s wife walks up and starts talking to the two men. They just shake their heads. I tell her I really need to get to the airport and she talks to the two men more aggressively. Then one of them walks over, pulls out some keys, starts the car and moves it! I was astounded and livid. I asked the landlord’s wife “what’s up with this?” and she just shrugged. I was about as pissed as I’ve ever been and if I hadn’t have been so pressed for time I might have gotten into an altercation. I surely wanted to slap that rude MF’er around. Oh well. I just can’t figure out what the motivation for that whole scene was. Duke thinks they were just messin’ with me because I’m a foreigner, but that makes no sense at all.

Anyway, I pick Duke up in Itaewon (he agreed to be my navigator on my first time drive to Incheon) and we head out. Very easy drive with almost no traffic and we got there in plenty of time to meet Nolan’s plane. In fact we had time for an 8000 Won draft beer in an airport bar while we waited for him to clear immigration and customs. So Nolan makes it through and we are ready for the drive home. I had been a little nervous about driving the old hoop dee on the freeway, but she did just fine and I had no trouble cruising along at 110 km/h. Dusk was falling so I turned on the headlights. I noticed my intrument lights were awful dim but didn’t really think much about it. We got to talking with Nolan and I missed the turnoff for Seoul, but no big deal, we just took the expressway on the opposite side of the river.

Traffic was very heavy, but we were moving along ok. And then my car started to stall. Same thing it did a few weeks ago. Duke said we absolutely do not want to break down in the middle lane of a crowded highway, so I moved over to the right lane. We had about 5 kms to go before reaching the Hannam bridge and I knew there was no way the old car was going to make it. Fortunately, there was an exit to the Han river park and we got off there. I found a parking lot and pulled in. Had just enough power left to get the windows up and that was it.

Nolan grabbed his luggage and we commenced walking. We found an underpass to the other side of the expressway, and after a relatively short distance caught a cab home.

So today I need to figure out just where my car is and how to tell a tow truck driver to get there. I’m sure I have a bad alternator. I was surprised when I took it in last time and all they did was replace the battery. It ran fine until I turned on the headlights, but clearly I was not getting enough charge to keep the car going after that.

Life can be such a joy sometimes.

Finished with Fifty

Posted on 27/August/2006 by John McCrarey

So another birthday has come. Older and maybe just a little wiser. Still refusing to act my age though, which for the curious is 51. No real insights or words of wisdom to offer up to you youngsters other than live each day with the goal of being happy. I’ve gotten better at that lately and I think accepting things for what they are helps me get by. There are many things in my life that would get me down if I dwelled on them. Like being here alone. But I choose to focous on the positives in my life and upon reflection I realize just how blessed I have been. My journey has taken some unexpected twists and turns, but from the vantage point of this milestone I recognize how lucky I am. Unworthy perhaps. Regardless, I’m holding on and enjoying the ride. I’m still curious and anxious to see what’s around that next corner.

I had a wonderful day yesterday (and into this morning) as my friend Duke and I celebrated our birthdays. I’ll share some tidbits and photos for those of you who are interested.

The birthday boys.

We started out at the National Theatre to see the stage production of Grease. I’d seen the movie a couple of times, but it was not high on my list of favorites. Duke had actually performed it in high school and college productions, so he was intimately familiar with the story and characters. Ji Young had no clue, thinking of Greece as opposed to Grease.

So, contrary to my earlier speculation the show was performed by Koreans in Korean. Since I didn’t really know the storyline nearly as well as I do The Wizard of Oz, I had a more difficult time following what was going on in the dialog. I had a general sense, but most was lost on me. Duke speaks decent Korean and he said they were generally true to the original. Ji Young really enjoyed it, saying the men in leather jackets and tight jeans were very sexy.

I of course could appreciate the dancing which was quite excellent. The songs were for the most part translated into Korean, but the music was the same. Duke said the translation was done quite well. Some of the songs were a hybrid of English and Korean. “Summer Love” and “Greased Lightning” were like that. I had to explain the meaning of greased lightning to Ji Young since the concept behind that idiom was unfamiliar to her. Oh they did one song that I don’t think was in the movie. Something about “sexy ass”. I surmised that from the ending of the song when the performer dropped his pants and mooned the audience. Strange that was.

The production values were very professional and it was kind of fun to see 1950’s American culture recreated on a Korean stage. There were murals of ’50s era icons, like James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, etc. The stage floor had a large emblem for Rydell High School, although it was written as Ry Dell High School. There was also a recreation of what looked like a ’57 Plymouth (with the chrome and big tail fins) that was nicely done.

Anyway, the cast was quite talented and the song and dance numbers kept me entertained. I had to laugh at some of the costumes though. Not a poodle skirt to be found, and the women’s dresses were as much 40’s and 60’s as they were 1950’s. Most of the guys were wearing jeans and black leather jackets, but at the high school dance scene I saw a lot of polyester and 1970’s disco outfits. Ah well, small quibble. I did enjoy watching these Korean actors portray American bad boys. Just like seeing Koreans dressed up all urban and doing rap music always makes me smile.

Anyway, that’s my review.

Duke and Ji Young on the steps of the National Theatre.

We didn’t have an invite backstage this time, so this is the closet we got to the cast of Grease.

After the play we were ready for dinner. I’m still bad about names around town, but the restaurant was across the river near the JW Marriott. We caught a cab right outside the theatre and headed over.

On the way to dinner I noticed this bus. Sometimes living in Korea is like being in an alternative universe where things are very much like home, but still different. I mean, in this universe I am functionally illiterate since I can’t read or write Hangul, but this bus seemed familar. Except it’s a grey lion instead of a greyhound. Just one of those passing observations which probably means nothing to anyone but me. But there it is.

We dined at a traditional Korean restaurant. So, yes that meant taking off my shoes and sitting my oversized body on the floor. Actually, I managed that quite well this time, and had room to stretch my legs out as the need arose. What was interesting about this place was they had traditional Korean entertainment taking place as you dined.

What was the name of this restaurant you ask? Read it yourself (and then tell me).

When we first arrived we were seated on these pads around an empty space on the floor. When the food was served it was carried out on the table and set before you. First time I’ve seen that done. While we were waiting for our food, I snapped some photos of the entertainment. (I took these from where I was sitting because getting up and down wasn’t worth the effort. Luckily, we were close enough that the pics are too bad).

This performer was “singing”, although it was more of a chant/storytelling kind of thing with occasional howls and moans. That’s a poor description, because it makes it sound unpleasant. It was not bad at all. She was also very expressive with her hand movements. She was accompanied by one guy with a drum, which he hit a what seemed irregular beats (I could detect no pattern at least) but apparently there was a reason for the drum strikes at various points in the song/story. If I could have understood the words it might have made more sense of course.

Next were the women doing a fan dance. Quite pleasant visually. Reminded me a little bit of the Whirling Dervishes we saw in Turkey. Well, not really but I don’t have any other point of reference.

Then we were treated to a small “band” playing traditional Korean musical instruments. What was especially interesting was their song selection. Like that ancient Korean standard “Ob la di ob la da”. You may recall the Beatles also recorded this tune.

And then our table arrived (literally) chock full of Korean goodness. Actually this picture doesn’t do it justice, and a couple of items arrived after the table (and this photo). That was a lot of food! And we ate pretty much all of it. Yum!

My dinner companions, Duke and Ji Young. Despite his appearance, Duke nor I had as yet had our first taste of beer at this point. But we were getting ready to make up for lost time.

After our meal we headed back to Itaewon and Dolce Vita. I didn’t have my darts, so I used a set of Duke’s. I played like crap all night. Someone took this picture of me pulling my darts after a failed attempt to close the 16. Nice memory.

Tom arrived at Dolce shortly after we did to join the party. We have a Challenge League match later today. Here he is telling Ji Young that all he has to do is win one leg to clinch 3rd place. Well, he might win his leg, but he will have to beat me to do it. Which I guess is obvious, but I’m just sayin’ talking ain’t gonna win it, he’s gonna have to do it on the dartboard.

After a couple of hours of throwing darts, we moved the party up the street to the Bless U Pub. Here’s a photo of what we did there. Shots. Lots and lots of shots. And beer.

This is the guy who poured all those shots. Jin, the barkeep at Bless U.

Gina is the owner of Bless U and she bought a lot of the aforementioned shots. After the birthday song came the traditional birthday kiss. Just to be clear it was my first and only kiss of the night….

Evie (you remember, the star of Dorothy) was there with a group of her friends and joined us for a round of shots. Then she posed with me for this photo. She’s such a sweetheart. She even remembered my name!

And that is where the batteries in my camera gave out. I might have been wise to take that as a sign (or omen), but alas the night (morning) was not yet to end. Around 0230, someone had the bright idea of going to the noreebang to do some singing. Being well lubricated I joined the group and participated in butchering songs for a couple of hours. Afterwards, Tom (who is temporarily staying in the dorm at Smoo University) asked to spend a couple of hours at my place so he wouldn’t have to wake someone to let him into the dorm. So, we walked to my place in the rain (no umbrellas) and he cooked up some eggs and bacon (I was not in the mood to cook and he was the hungry one). We ate, he left, and I crawled into bed around 0600.

And today I feel like shit. Imagine that.

That’s the story of my birthday so far. I need to play that dart match around 1900 but otherwise I am going to stick close to home today. It’s all good, right?