My last Hash

Until next year. Anyway, not a bad day on trail. We left Alta Vista and took the back way through the hills to the start of the Hash on Rizal Extension. From there, we did a steep stair climb almost to the top of the Kalaklan Ridge, then meandered through the woods to the On-Home at Tiny Cunts house at the far end of Rizal Extension. The problem is getting back from there after the Hash. My solution was to leave at the beginning of the Hash circle and walk back down the road before nightfall. That worked out just fine, and we chilled at It Doesn’t Matter until it was time to call it a day and head home. Here are a few photos from the adventure:

Heading out, I came upon the proverbial fork in the road. I didn’t take it.
Arriving at the meet-up
Let the climbing commence!
First cookie delivery of the day
On and on we climbed the uneven steps
The steps were done but not the uphill climb
If a tree falls on your roof and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Through the woods we go
Nature’s litter is much more pleasant than the human kind
Two options: Over or under the barbed wire.
I guess whoever was building here got tired of the climb and said, “fuck this!”
On the level
Weird to see Christmas wrapping paper discarded out in the wilderness
Walking the wall
The Rizal Extension portion of the hike
A little over 5K from start to finish

Hash Monday is a difficult day to stayed focused on the diet plan.

That second helping of pudding put me over the top. Hey, the New Year is coming. I’m resolved to do better!

I was born in 1955 and I’m still booming like there is no tomorrow:

Why yes, yes we are!

And next time I visit Korea, you can call me Kang, Gun Hyo.

Today’s installment in The Story of My Life comes from my brief reflections regarding my final day at work back on December 30, 2010. My big insight on that day was this:

But I’m going to make sure this is merely the transition time between adventures.  Or go crazy.  One of those.

Four years later, I revisited those musings in a post called It’s the inevitable let down at the end of a great adventure and shared this epiphany:

Maybe I am crazy, but it occurs to me now that life is always just one big transition.  I suppose that state of perpetual transition might on occasion include adventure.  More often it just hurts.

Back then, I didn’t have a clue about the heartbreak that would befall me the following year. And that ultimately led me to a new life in the Philippines. The only way to find out what comes next is to live it. I’m going to keep at that task for as long as possible.

Now at last I have come to see what life is,
Nothing is ever ended, everything only begun,
And the brave victories that seem so splendid
Are never really won.

Even love that I built my spirit’s house for,
Comes like a brooding and a baffled guest,
And music and men’s praise and even laughter
Are not so good as rest.

― Sara Teasdale

At least I’m not a loser like the one in today’s YouTube video. Get a grip, dude. Yeah, I dislike things about the PI (primarily litter and noise), but the good far outweighs the bad. If I didn’t think that was the case, I would get the fuck out, not post whiny-ass YouTube rants about it.

Laughter helps:

You can’t tell by my posts, but I do care and I am at least trying to do better.
I worked at Blinky’s Pizza in Westminster, California, back in my high school daze. And yes, we kneaded the dough. The bread they paid me was minimum wage.
And that’s why I could never be a doctor…

So, today’s post is coming to you from Mope Beach Resort in beautiful barangay La Paz, San Narciso. I didn’t have a plan for this; I just wanted to welcome the New Year by doing something different. So, we packed our bags and had the driver drop us down the road after grocery shopping. And here we are! I’ll let you know how it goes down tomorrow.

The story of my life

It was twenty years ago today when Long Time Gone was born into the blogosphere. What a ride it has been! Of course, things seldom go as planned, but I had no clue at the time that the journey I was about to embark on would completely and irrevocably change everything and lead me to places beyond my wildest imagination. In my “do-over” afterlife fantasy, there are many things I would change, but making the move to Korea and leaving my vanilla American life behind forever is not one of them. Here’s what I had to say twenty years ago in my first blog post, “And So It Begins”:

I’m moving to Seoul, Korea. Although the general consensus among family and friends is that I’ve lost my mind (which I don’t necessarily deny), this is something of a calling for me. One of my biggest regrets in life was not serving in the military. My father and two brothers are Army vets. My daughter is currently serving her second tour in Afghanistan with the 82nd Airborne. I am incredibly proud of her and all our troops who are sacrificing so much to defend our freedom and to bring freedom from tyranny to others. Sitting on the sidelines watching these incredible men and women making a difference in the world has only exacerbated my desire to find some tangible way to make a contribution in support of our military. Of course, at 49 my options are somewhat limited. I have been a federal civilian employee for over 28 years, and so for the past several months I have been applying for civilian jobs with the Department of Defense. I was not selected for a position I applied for in Iraq, but the Army offered me a job in South Korea and I have accepted. I don’t presume to think that doing a civilian gig in Seoul is heroic or particularly self-sacrificing, but if in some small way I can play a part in our national defense, I am proud to do so.

Ok, that’s the altruistic reason for going, such as it is. On a more personal level, I have lived a very comfortable life. Too comfortable perhaps. The chance to live and work overseas in a totally alien culture seems to be an exciting opportunity to get out of my box and experience a new lifestyle. Yes, I am looking forward to the adventure. Of course, the nature of adventure is the not knowing how things will turn out. I know I will miss my family and friends and everything that is familiar and wonderfully American. I have made a two-year commitment to the Army, and if I am miserable and lost and lonely, well I will deal with it and learn what I can from the experience. Going in, I have a positive attitude and believe that I have the power to determine what I gain and how I grow as I live this new life.

So, this blog will serve as a diary of my life in Korea. It will be a place where I share my thoughts on what I am seeing, doing, and learning. And since I am fairly political and opinionated, there will likely be some commentary on my views on world events. I have been a blog reader since I discovered the blogosphere shortly after 9/11. This is my first attempt at writing a blog, and that will be part of the adventure I am undertaking.

My original intent when starting LTG was to have an easy way to stay in touch and share with my friends and family back home what was happening in my Korean life. These days, no one from those long ago times reads the blog or cares about me and my so-called life here in the Philippines. Everything changes, but this journey of mine still goes on until I finally reach the end of my road. And I intend to keep writing this public diary of mine even if no one cares enough to read it. I know I have a handful of loyal followers, and that means a lot to me, even if your reward is being subjected to my daily dose of drivel. Thank you!

I have occasionally fantasized about writing the story of my life. Perhaps one day, my descendants will want to learn more about that crazy relative who left everything behind and moved to Asia. In some ways, this blog fulfills that purpose. My plan now is to spend the next few months scrolling through the archives for the rare post that might be worthy of inclusion in my unwritten autobiography. I’ve created a new tag, “The story of my life,” to add to those posts so they will be easy to find in the future. And I’ll share a link to those stories with my readers as I find them.

Over the past twenty years, I have written 5,326 posts and received 17,181 comments. Happy blogiversary! I hope you’ll stick around to see what happens next.

And here’s what happened yesterday:

The morning dog walk to start the day

And then it was time for the Wednesday Walkers group hike. We took a Jeepney out to the far side of Subic and commenced our hike from there.

Out of the Jeepney
And off we go!
Leaving the city behind
Catching up after a pee stop
Bushy grasses would be our bane for much of the hike
Mostly flat, but this was a tricky down
We last came this way in March. It wasn’t so overgrown with plant life back then.
Ah, the wide-open spaces!
It’s so much easier to walk on the dirt road. It didn’t last long, though.
Working the fields
Graffiti, Filipino-style
Village life
The road’s gone, but the grass is low for now.
Lollipop delivery
Pausing for the group shot. Biggest turnout we’ve had for a while.
A hard-working carabao
Life on the farm
Marching single file
It held her!
And then it got wet and muddy
How muddy? This muddy.
We needed to cross the river, but some of us wanted a better option for doing so.
Washing the mud off our shoes was an added benefit
The carabao didn’t mind us passing through his turf
That bridge most of us didn’t take
These two gals did, though
Well done, Beth
This cow was a little freaked out seeing us pass through. At least he ran the other way instead of at us.
And then there was another water crossing
No dry shoe option this time
Through the fields we go
It seems strange to grow a crop in the riverbed, but whatever it takes
Slippin’ on down to the river
And then wading across
There is freedom in wet feet–you don’t have to care anymore.
Through another small village
Then back on the pavement
All the Jeepneys passing by were full
But then we were able to flag down a passing Victory Line and rode back to Barretto in comfort
Just about 6.5K from start to finish

Swan and I killed the evening hours with visits to It Doesn’t Matter and a nightcap at Wet Spot.

I made it, but just barely.

Remembering when we were a family:

Both my brothers are still alive; I just never hear from them anymore.

And now for a taste of politics:

Funny and sad how that works

In today’s YouTube video, Reekay recounts the sad tale of expat Ted. I spend more than I should and have depleted a sizeable chunk of my savings, but that monthly government pension deposit is ample to keep me living large—at least until the USA goes bankrupt. Avoiding four years of Kamala spending might be the miracle we’ve needed.

And some humor, if you please:

That kid is going places!
Time to wrap it up, Kirk
Maybe it’s a hump too far

Anyway, here’s to hoping it will be a Long Time Gone before my blogging days are over. I ain’t in no hurry to give it up.

Keep the change

I’ve been doing some self-reflection and pondering the way ahead as I move into what remains of my golden years. Honestly speaking and notwithstanding my bitching and moaning, I’m living a comfortable and mostly satisfying retired life here in my scenic little town. The one aspect I’ve been most unhappy about has been my failure to find and maintain a truly loving relationship. And yes, I know that is all on me. And you, my dear readers, are quick to remind me of that fact whenever my whining rants and self-pity get to be too much. See, this blog does serve a purpose!

A commenter on my Live and Learn post defined the nature of my failures with women as being due to what he called “transactional relationships”:


If you really are seeking some sort of love and companionship, you have to start by eliminating the transactional dimension of your “relationships.” Another astute commenter used the phrase “pay for play” to describe your situation. As long as you’re unable to rise above the transactional (she gets something out of this; I get something out of this), you’re doomed to marinate in your own hell.

I hadn’t really ever thought of it quite that way so that set me to thinking. Looking back it is true that almost all of my “love” relationships had a transactional aspect to them. Maybe it is just the way I’m wired or perhaps it’s just my admittedly selfish nature, but I’m not seeing how I might escape this Groundhog Day-like cycle. I mean, aren’t the traditional wedding vows transactional in nature? Making mutual promises to one another about all the things you will do for that person “until death do us part” is tantamount to entering into a contract. What’s more transactional than that?

So, I’ve been married four times. Some might call that a failure, but on the other hand, I did find four women in this world willing to take those vows of eternal love. That it was all for naught isn’t all that relevant, is it? In the case of wife #1, she had my baby. I wanted to keep that baby girl and raise her the best I could. Marriage was the avenue for doing that, so I gladly made that transaction. After five years that wife decided she didn’t want the job of being a mother anymore (we also had a son by now) so I became a single father.

Wife #2 was and is probably one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I knew she’d make a great mom for my kids (she was a widow with one young child) and so I convinced her to marry me. I did love her in my fashion but there is no denying the transactional nature of that relationship. Of course, once the kids were grown the foundation of the marriage no longer existed. I recall that when I told my daughter of the pending divorce, she said to me: “I never understood why you got married in the first place. You two have nothing in common. She doesn’t even laugh at your jokes.” I responded that I got married so she would have a mother. My daughter looked at me and said “Daddy, we were doing just fine as the three of us.” Oh well, that one is all on me and I hurt a very good woman in the process. I’m not proud of that at all.

Now, wife #3 was all about passion. I mean, that was certainly true in the physical sense but it also carried over into our intellectual life as well. We fought about everything, but not really in a bad way. We both worked in labor relations and we’d have heated debates about work-related issues as a matter of course. Once I wised up and left my liberal orthodoxy behind we’d fight like cats and dogs over politics too. But the thing is, we were engaged. We argued because we cared. And once I moved to Korea and she reneged on her promise to join me there, I really missed that aspect of our married life. That’s probably one of the few instances of a non-transactional relationship I’ve managed to achieve. In the end, it was still a failure, but in a twisted kind of way, it worked while it lasted.

My Korean wife (#4 if you’re keeping score) was pretty much the complete opposite of my third wife. The language barrier played a large part in that I suppose as our interactions were limited to mostly mundane questions and responses. But she was a good woman and had a good heart. And she changed my life. I was supposed to retire and move to the Philippines in 2010. But after one of my trips there I came home sick and was hospitalized for a couple of days. Jee Yeun took time off work and stayed with me 24/7. And that got me thinking. I knew the Filipinas I had been meeting would love me for what I could offer them but likely only until a better option came along. I knew Jee Yeun would always be there for me. So, that’s what I chose. The deal was we’d always take care of each other and I was happy or at least satisfied with that. I guess that’s transactional too, but at least it was mutual. It was shocking when Jee Yeun unilaterally backed out of the deal. And not to make excuses, but I’ve been cynical about love ever since.

Now, after that final failure (and it is final, I will never marry again) I’ve been floundering. I want to have love in my love, but I’m unwilling to take the risks that loving someone requires. I don’t want another broken heart. So, I came up with a brand new plan. It was the ultimate in transactional relationships–I would pay someone to do and be all the things a girlfriend should provide, except there would be no love involved. I was a fool to believe it was foolproof. In the end, I fell in love with her and she broke my heart. Turns out she was better at the transactional game than I was–dumping me for a guy who offered her a better package. Is that how Karma works?

So, now what? We’ve identified the problem and that would be me. But what to do about it? Is being aware of my transactional nature enough to change it? Or will this be my destiny:

…like a wind-up toy aimed at a wall, you tend to hit that wall and to keep stubbornly trying to walk through it. You’ve been great about accepting the various criticisms we’ve offered (frankly, I might not react so well if I were in your place), but deep down, you’re not really accepting them. You’re stubbornly, eternally walking into that wall, into that wall, into that wall. Until you divorce yourself from that momentum and that trajectory (some would call this karma), nothing is going to change, no matter how much you rhapsodize about loftier things.

With awareness comes acceptance. Except I’m accepting that I’m not likely to change at this stage of my life. After giving the matter lots of thought, I’ve concluded that I am unlikely to change because I’m not at all sure that I want to change. No, I’m not particularly happy with my current state of being but damn, being “in love” might just be worse. These past few days seeing how the power my feelings for Janey has made me vulnerable to hurt and despair has been a good reminder that there are worse things than being alone.

So, what next? Well, I’m going to strive to do better in the way I treat the women I meet. A transactional relationship is one thing, but using people in a way that causes them pain is unacceptable. I don’t think that was ever my intent but I believe there have been some inadvertent hurt feelings along the way. I’m going to learn to embrace my aloneness as just another part of who I am. Yes, I’ll find opportunities along the way to experience the unique pleasure female company can provide. Let that be my respite from loneliness.

Actually, the thought has occurred to me to give my “Plan B” another try. Just pay someone to be my girlfriend/companion in much the same way that I pay my domestic helpers to take care of my house. It could work. As long as I don’t fall in love.

And the best news of all dear readers is that you will not hear me bitch and moan about the sorry state of my love life. There is peace in acceptance.

There’s something about Mary

What that something is I haven’t quite figured out. Maybe I never will.

Last night’s get together was something of a roller coaster ride. Mary was a little late arriving at our rendevous location and we were bumping up against the pending curfew. No trikes were available so she walked with me to the house without complaint. Mary said she wasn’t hungry, so I made up a batch of strawberry-banana smoothies.

I tried to engage her in some conversation but she seemed shyer and more reserved than during our first meeting. I’d had a few beers while waiting for her so I probably wasn’t providing much inspiration either. I remember asking her if she likes me and she responded by holding up her thumb and index finger maybe an inch apart and said “a little”. Hmm, that made me wonder why she had even bothered to come. Oh. Probably for the money. This led me to broach the subject of my being her Sugar Daddy. Mary had never heard of the concept and after I explained it she simply said “will it pay the rent?”

Mary strikes me as being quite the enigma–equal parts shy, innocent, and mercenary. But I guess desperate times require stepping out of her comfort zone. So I took her upstairs to the bedroom.

The next morning she came downstairs acting like nothing was wrong. The dogs like her at least. She didn’t want breakfast and after a couple of minutes of small talk, she asked if she could take a shower. I took her upstairs and showed how the shower water heater worked.

While she was in the bathroom, I put the rent money under her phone. She came out, saw the money, and asked “what’s this?”. I told her it was the rent money. And she didn’t want to take it. I finally told her it was her birthday present and her severance pay. She asked why and I told her I wasn’t interested in spending time with someone who couldn’t even pretend to be interested in me. Mary said, “but I really do like you a lot!”. I’m like, WTF? We just had this conversation on the bed and you agreed that you weren’t attracted to me. Her response floored me: “I really couldn’t understand much of what you were saying. You talk too fast.” So I said, well, you know, if you don’t tell me you don’t understand me, how am I supposed to explain or slow down? You kept nodding and agreeing with me, so I assumed you understood. So, anyway, we agreed that I would try to slow down my speech (my domestic helper agrees I’m hard to understand at times) and Mary will tell me to repeat myself as needed. We’ll see.

I told Mary to keep the money and consider it an advance on her first month’s salary. She reluctantly agreed to this. We haven’t really defined the terms of her employment yet. I’m just looking for a little company and companionship. And satisfying boom-boom now and then. I have no idea how that is going to work out, but I’ll give her another shot anyway I guess. I don’t really have any other irons in the fire right now.

And oh yeah. I walked her to the Jeepney stop and said goodbye. On her way home she sent me a message: “I think I’m falling in love with you.” Oh boy, here we go again. I’m a LONG way from feeling that emotion so I just told her we’d take it slowly and see where it leads us.

Bottom line: No, I don’t think she is a scammer. I think she is inexperienced and naturally shy. I’m not sure what her ultimate goal is, but it probably revolves around financial security, i.e. “the rent”. I think she has been pretty upfront about that. Now if she can just up her game and learn to make me feel special we could potentially have a win-win. Otherwise, I’m prepared to walk away.

UPDATE: I did something I very rarely do here at LTG…edited a completed post. I deleted some of the details about last night because it just seemed like too much information for a public blog. Sorry if what remains is more disjointed than usual.

Groundhog Day


Which came first–the chicken or the egg? I’m guessing it was the rooster.

So, here we go again. My hopes for some relief from the “enhanced” quarantine rules were dashed with the announcement that Zambales province would continue with the current restrictions through May 15 (at least). And to add insult to injury the mayor of Olongapo has decreed that we will once again suffer a total lockdown on Saturday and Sunday. Not even using the “disinfecting” pretext this time around. I guess there is no point in having power if you aren’t willing to abuse it.

Here are today’s numbers for the Philippines. They are essentially meaningless in my opinion because almost no one has been tested that wasn’t already displaying symptoms. We know now that a huge percentage of people get the virus and have no symptoms and no lingering ill effects. Here in Olongapo, we’ve had four cases total. What the hell is all the fuss about?

I’ll admit this shit is getting depressing. So I decided it was time to take stock of things in my life. And one thing I was short on was my supply of beer. This morning I set about rectifying that situation.

I sent a message to my bar owner friend Jay asking if he had any beer in stock he wanted to sell. He responded that he was going into Olongapo shortly in search of some and I was welcome to ride along. And that is just what I did. Jay was driving the Hashmobile (he’s the Subic Hash Grandmaster, aka H.I.V.) and I didn’t think it was possible, but he drives even crazier than my own driver Donny. Anyway, we arrived safely at the market, and alas, they had no beer. Plenty of hard liquors available and Jay stocked up on those. Jay told me he would contact another bar owner to see if he had anything for sale. We drove back to Barretto and as we were offloading Jay’s purchases he realized he’d left his credit card at the store in Olongapo. Jay asked if I wanted to ride along again and having nothing better to do, and wanting him to pursue the alternative source for beer, I agreed. And then this happened:

The front tire blew out. And what a pain in the ass it was to change. I wound up calling my driver and it’s a good thing I did. The jack in the Hashmobile was totally inadequate for the job at hand. Donny’s jack saved the day.

So, since Donny was there I figured I’d go ahead and have him take me to the supermarket where I’d purchased beer and groceries on Tuesday. Knowing we were going on lockdown made me remember all the things I’d forgotten to buy on my earlier trip.

I guess everyone else was thinking the same thing…buy now or be fucked.

Once I was allowed into the store I set about my business. Only five cans of beer left on the shelf, so I grabbed them. Stocked up on dog food, chicken nuggets, canned goods, and the like, then headed home. On the way back Jay messaged that he had secured the three cases (24 bottles each) of beer I was desiring. WooHoo! That ought to get me through quarantine!

Bringing home my treasures!

Yesterday, I did a 12K hike with Scott and Jim.

We rendezvoused at the home of my mountain friends, JR and Jennifer and family. I brought along a sack of provisions to help them weather the virus storm.
We decided to keep it mostly flat this time. Monday’s hike was a killer doing the big climb in the heat.
So, I guess you could call this the ‘high” light of the hike as we worked our way back down from the mountain family’s place.
Scott took a photo of me taking a photo of Easter mountain…
Scott on the trail…
Me on the trail…
Gemini. (see what I did there?)
Jim is always leading the way (he’s got 10 years of youthful advantage on us) so he gets to sit and wait a lot.
Some things never change, this is the Philippines after all…
We crossed that bridge when we came to it. It was pretty dicey though…
On the home stretch of our hike. The trail led us to Alta Vista so I invited the guys in for some leftover chili, cheese nachos, and of course, cold beer to wash it all down. Which put a BIG dent in my supply and had a direct bearing on my beer seeking adventures today.

Still, having a couple of tech-savvy guys over was a good thing. Jim ran a clean-up program which sped things up on my computer quite a bit. Scott showed me how to download torrents from Pirate Bay and I’ve got season 1 and 2 of Game of Thrones to dive into this weekend now at least.

So, my high school girlfriend actually posted this on her Facebook page today:

OUCH!

And I’ll leave you with this which is both funny and sadly all too accurate:

As Glenn Reynolds notes, the Babylon Bee has become America’s paper of record.

The way we were

Now I wind up staring at an empty glass                                                                                  Because it’s so easy to say that you’ll forget your past...

Another Valentine’s Day being spent on my own.  And truthfully, that’s pretty much the way I choose to be.  But it weren’t always so.  And it seems there is always something there to remind me when I wasn’t alone.

Delving through my old posts on the Philippines information board I frequent, I came across something I wrote back in August 2009 called “My Dilemma”:

So next month marks an anniversary. One year since my last visit to the PI. You guys with PPD (post Philippines Depression) can imagine how much worse it is when you don’t know when, or if, you will return to paradise.

See, next August I am eligible to retire and can draw a generous (and well earned I might add) government pension. I could live comfortably almost anywhere, but in the PI I could live like a rich man. And that has a certain appeal to me.

What’s the problem then? Well, as the old Elvin Bishop song says “I fooled around and fell in love”. With a Korean woman.

Now, this woman is 93% perfect. She takes care of all my needs in a way that is beyond anything I ever imagined. And I’m a man who likes to be taken care of. She does everything for me down to the smallest detail without complaint. In fact, she tells me it is “her pleasure”. She is an amazing lover and an old fashioned good hearted woman. I go to the bars about three nights a week for darts, and she never complains. She comes along and has actually become a pretty big fan of the game. All my friends think she is great and her family seems to have taken a liking to me as well. When I got sick last year, she was at my side in the hospital 24/7. Hell, to reference another old song, she’s like the gal The Band sang about: “up on cripple creek she sends me/if I spring a leak/she mends me/I don’t have to speak/she defends me/a drunkards dream if I ever did see one…”

Yep, I’d have a hard time finding anyone better for me in this world than her.

So, you may be thinking, “what’s the dilemma?”. The 7% of the GF that is not perfect is that she is extraordinarily jealous. Almost to the point of being insane about it.

And she found my collection of photos from previous trips to the Philippines. She says seeing me with those “young girls” just makes her sick to her stomach. She deleted them all.

Now, even hearing the word Philippines enrages her. And whenever there’s a Filipina in a bar she accuses me of staring at her and tells me “I love Filipino women too much!”.

She accessed my email and found communications with a platonic friend in the PI and went nuts.

If I go to a filipino bar I like here in Seoul she gets pissed.

She checks the messages/call history on my cell phone.

She checks the stamps in my passport when I travel.

She counts the frickin’ money in my wallet to make sure I’m not spending money on others.

In other words, that 7% is getting to be a real pain in the ass.

But damn, she does love me, and you know, there is something to be said for being loved.

But any future I might have with her, means there is no Philippines in my future.

And she is right about one thing–I truly do love the Pinays.

Hence my dilemma. One year out from retirement and I need to be firming up plans. If I stay in Korea with her, it means getting married (will need a visa). If I’m going to the PI to retire, well, I need to be going there and making some decisions.

I’m stuck at 50-50 on the pros and cons. I mean, I could pay someone  in the PI to take care of all those nice things my GF gives me free. But as the Beatles so astutely noted, “Money can’t buy me love”.

I guess it’s a good thing to have choices in life. But it feels pretty fucked up right now.

Well, of course regular readers know that I chose love over the Philippines.  And as it turned out, I chose wrong.  I’m still not really over it and I definitely don’t understand it.  But there is of course no going back.  I can only lament the wasted time.

But as Facebook reminds me today, there were moments of love.  I even made a movie about it, circa 2013.

Painful to watch now.  And for those who say it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, I call bullshit.

One thing is for sure, I am bound and determined to never love again.  Don’t need it, don’t want it.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

Mem’ries,
Light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? Could we?
Mem’ries, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember…
The way we were…
The way we were…

Perfect timing!

Feel free to skip this post if you are weary of hearing my tales of woe regarding my health.

Okay, for the rest of you then…

Today I successfully secured a coveted appointment at the Brian Allgood Army Community Hospital on my third day of trying.  Oddly enough, I started experiencing shortness of breath about an hour before my 5 o’clock appoint.  And it was the worst occurrence I’ve ever had.  I was having difficulty even talking to the intake nurse about my symptoms.  The took my blood pressure (185/100!) then I met with the doctor.  He could immediately see I was in some pretty serious distress and asked me how often this condition occurred.  I breathlessly explained that I never let it get this bad since acquiring my nebulizer.  The good doc said let’s get you some nebulization going now and while I was inhaling that sweet relief, he listened to my chest and apparently didn’t like what he heard.

As is usually the case, I felt better almost immediately.  But apparently my blood oxygen was staying in the low 80s (normal is 95+) which meant I was experiencing Hypoxemia. That’s not good and the doc wanted me to visit the emergency room then and there.  And so naturally I did.

The took my blood pressure again (still over 180), did an EKG, and started me on another round of nebulaziton.

Suckin’ in the ER.

Then they wheeled me down to x-ray to get a gander at my lungs.

My first ever ride in a wheelchair on the way to the x-ray department. Whee! (I’ll be happy if it is my last ride in one though).

At least I had something to read.

By the time I got back to the ER I was feeling much better and my vitals confirmed it (blood pressure back down in the normal for me 140s, and blood oxygen back in the high 90s.  So, now I wanted to hear the long elusive diagnosis.  Doctor says it seems to be a case of Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD).  Damn, I was afraid he was going to say that!  (A couple of friends had suggested that may be my problem, but I was in denial).

There it is, the price I paid for 25 years of moderate smoking.  The fact that I’ve been off tobacco for over 2 years now is certainly a positive.  It appears my COPD is still in the early stages, and there are things I can do to slow it’s progress.  So, that’s what I will do. We all got to die of something, but my death is far from imminent.  My dad had COPD and made it to 83.  That’s a worthwhile goal I reckon.

I came home with some drugs and an inhaler and instructions to return for a follow-on visit in a week.

In the meantime, it is always possible I will run into someone like this:

And maybe she’ll live up to her name!

It’s all good.  Onward!

 

 

Stayin’ alive

Welcome to my first post of 2017!  I’d wish you a happy new year but…

….I will wish you more good days than bad instead. My goal is to get out of this year alive!

So, regular readers know that I rang in the New Year in the Philippines.  The trip turned out to be about half as good as I hoped.  I’m going to do a post about the travel portion of that visit soon.  This post is about the bad part.

Here’s a helpful hint:  Don’t take a vacation when you are sick.  I had my meds and figured I’d either get progressively better or stay about the same.  Didn’t think things could get worse until they did.

I arrived with my “tour guide” at our chosen Puerto Galera lodging, the Tribal Hills Mountain Resort pretty much on schedule at 1600 on Thursday the 29th.  I’d left home at 0430 though, so that constituted a long day of travel and I was pretty bushed.  Now, the day after Christmas PG had taken a direct hit from Typhoon Nina.  Lots of downed trees and the roads were pretty much a mess, but the resort was not in bad shape.  Except that the power was out.  No worries, they had a back up generator.  Although from 1300 until 1700 it was down for maintenance.  So, we arrived in our room without power, or more importantly, no air conditioning.  Took advantage of the wonderful deck off our room with outstanding views of the surrounding mountains and the ocean.

It wasn’t long before I noticed a bite on my arm from what I presume was a mosquito.  I belatedly got out my insect repellent and liberally applied it to the exposed areas of my body.  Shortly thereafter, a worrying rash appeared all over the arm that was bitten.  Then it spread to my neck and chest.  And then the other arm.  What the fuck?  I took a long shower and after a couple of hours the rash receded into nothingness and I felt no further ill-effects from the experience.

I had no idea just how isolated the Tribal Hills Resort actually is.  It’s on top of a mountain accessed by a narrow road that goes straight up.  I’d judge it to be a steeper climb than getting to the top of the stairs on Namsan.  And given my diminished lung capacity and bum leg, that was a non-starter.  They resort does offer a free shuttle to the base of the mountain near White Beach.  Although truth be told White Beach seemed like a sleepy little village with nothing much of interest to do there.  And the shuttle stops running at 2200 hours. So the resort has a restaurant and pool bar, who needs to leave, right?

Except late on the first night I experienced a new low in my battle with my lungs, as in a prolonged period where I had shortness of breath.  Which felt like drowning to me.  I tried not to panic which would lead to hyperventilation, but it felt like I was going to pass out at any moment.  My tour guide asked if I wanted to go the the hospital in Sabang, a good 45 minutes away under the best of circumstances.  And these weren’t the best of circumstances in Puerto Galero.  Imagining the nightmare of a small town provincial hospital in the PI, I declined the offer.  Back home during coughing jags I’d work up a sweat and found some comfort and relief having my fan blowing into my face.  I mentioned how I really longed for that fan now, and to her credit my tour guide set out on a midnight quest to find me one.  I assumed it would be fruitless because the resort basically shuts down after the last shuttle run, but she had roused a staff member who came to the door with fan in hand shortly thereafter.  It did provide a modicum of relief and I made it through a mostly sleepless night.

Things went better for most of the next day, which included a visit to Sabang.  So glad I didn’t try to go there for medical assistance!  That night I had some breathing problems again, but with the fan and some deep breathing exercises I learned from the web I was able to deal with it.  Again, just a couple hours of sleep though.  Decided to check out one day early and head back to Manila.  Call me a pussy, but the thought of not having access to emergency medical care should it be required was fucking with my mind.  Besides, there was just not much to see or do in PG and it seemed like a pointless place to ring in the New Year.

Had a nice New Year’s Eve celebration on P. Burgos street in Makati, coincidentally located very near the hotel I accidentally booked (I’ll cover that in the trip report installment).  More of the same, felt fine mostly until it came time to lay down for some sleep, which brought back the coughing fits and shortness of breath.  Managed a little more than 2 hours sleep from pure exhaustion, and woke up with the zit from hell on my cheek.  What’s up with that?

Last day in country had the worst bout yet and the tour guide suggested I get a nebulizer. I considered it briefly, but figured what I really needed was a doctor’s opinion, so I opted to wait until I got back to Seoul for that.  The plane ride from Manila went without incident, even managed a bit of sleep.  Once we landed I made it through immigration, bag claim, and customs in a jiffy.  Started walking to the AREX station and got hit hard with the lack of breath thing again.  The train departed in five minutes so there was no stopping to rest. Made it on board and collapsed in my seat.  I did my breathing exercises and told myself to suck it up and calm down, and eventually I did.  No other option really, it was after 1900 so my doctor’s clinic was long closed.

Caught a cab from Seoul Station and somehow managed to successfully navigate the cabbie to my villa’s front door through grunts and gestures.  Good thing too, because carrying my suitcase up two flights of stairs set off another lack of breath incident.  This one wouldn’t go away.  Around 0100 I was seriously thinking I needed to go to the emergency room for some oxygen.  Couldn’t think of anyone I felt comfortable calling to take me at that ungodly hour, and I figured trying to explain to 119 where I lived was pointless.  So I somehow managed to get through the night.  Through the power of sheer exhaustion I even managed a couple hours of sleep.

As I prepared to depart for Soonchunhwang hospital this morning, I stepped on the scale. 201 pounds!  A new record low for me, and down an amazing 6 pounds from last week.  I obviously haven’t been walking at all and on vacation I don’t strictly keep to diet (had a fantastic mango split for example).  The weight loss I’m certain is the result of my body and heart working overtime lately.  My fit bit advises that my resting heart rate has been in the high 80s to low 90s.  During my fits I’ve pushed it up to 130.  Prior to my illness my resting heart rate was around 70 and I only saw 130+ at the summit of the stairs to Namsan.  I DO NOT recommend this weight loss program however!

Arrived at the International Clinic without an appointment.  Receptionist asked if I preferred to see the hilarious Dr. Yoo or the sexy Dr. Kim.  I opted for Dr. Yoo who has been treating me for years.  But I felt compelled to mention in all other things I would pick Dr. Kim.  The receptionist smiled and said she understood.

Explained to Dr. Yoo (who coincidentally also has a cough and he blames Chinese pollution) what was going on, basically everything I’ve said above in more abbreviated form.  I know, why is HE so lucky?  Get over it!  I told him I needed to get this fixed.  He said if I had a fever he’d want me in the hospital.  I told him being hospitalized was something I really wanted and needed to avoid.  So, he had me do blood work, an EKG, a chest x-ray, and a nebulizer treatment.  After completing these rounds, I returned to see what Dr. Yoo’s conclusion might be.  I was happy that my hard working heart was still doing it’s job.  The blood work showed all indicators in the normal range.  The x-ray revealed that my lungs remain congested (no duh).  And the nebulizer treatment as far as I could tell was a success.  At least I wasn’t coughing.

He told me I was on the “borderline” for being hospitalized, but if I was willing to come in everyday for some nebulization we could try that.  I suggested that I just purchase my own nebulizer and do that at home. Dr. Yoo was down with that.  He also had mentioned having me hospitalized to administer intravenous antibiotics, but he was willing to try something stronger in pill form to see how that works out.  So, as of now I remain a free man!

My new best friend!

Don’t we make a nice couple? And check out that zit! Massive!

The doctor does wants me back in the morning for a follow-up, I guess to see how I’m reacting to the meds.  I’ve done two nebulizer treatments at home now and have had no issues with the cough or breathing problems.  I also had an uninterrupted two hour nap today which left me feeling surprisingly energized.

I’ll go to bed tonight feeling hopeful that the corner will indeed be turned and I can avoid the nightmare of being in a Korean hospital alone with no one to assist me.

I tagged this post in the “me, me, me” category which obviously fits.  I’m thinking I need to add a category of “aren’t you glad you’re not me?”  I suspect many of my readers come here to feel better about themselves.  Hey, glad to be of service.  No man is totally worthless, he can always serve as a bad example.

Cheers!

It’s the inevitable let down at the end of a great adventure

(In celebration of ten years of blogging here at LTG, each week for the next 52 51 weeks I will delve deep into the sewer archives of past posts to bring you a tidbit of blog history.  I had originally planned to call this series “The best of LTG”, but damn, there just wasn’t much “best” to be found.  And mediocre is too hard to spell.)

On December 30, 2010 I took note of my final day at work in “That about sums it up”. I ended that post on this hopeful note:

But I’m going to make sure this is merely the transition time between adventures.  Or go crazy.  One of those.

Maybe I am crazy, but it occurs to me now that life is always just one big transition.  I suppose that state of perpetual transition might on occasion include adventure.  More often it just hurts.

Now at last I have come to see what life is,
Nothing is ever ended, everything only begun,
And the brave victories that seem so splendid
Are never really won.

Even love that I built my spirit’s house for,
Comes like a brooding and a baffled guest,
And music and men’s praise and even laughter
Are not so good as rest.”
Sara Teasdale,

All you need is love

The nearest friends can go
With anyone to death, comes so far short
They might as well not try to go at all.
No, from the time when one is sick to death,
One is alone, and he dies more alone.
Friends make pretense of following to the grave,
But before one is in it, their minds are turned
And making the best of their way back to life
And living people, and things they understand.

–Robert Frost (from Home Burial)

My mother died this morning.  At home, peacefully in her sleep.  These past two weeks had been a struggle for her but she kept on fighting.  It was heartbreaking to watch her fade away each day.  She had stopped eating, drinking, and using her oxygen and become verbally non-communicative.  But until yesterday I could still see her “in there” behind her eyes and there was a spark of recognition when friends and family members came to visit.

The best night occurred last week when her sisters from California were here.  She was surrounded by people who loved her and she seemed to really perk up.  She actually made a little speech about what’s important in life and she said all that matters is love.  Mom told us to always love one another and everyone else we encountered.  When it was done she smiled and said, “well, I guess I gave a sermon”.  Mom was clearly loving having her family with her, that’s for sure.

She deteriorated pretty quickly after that.  She lost the ability to speak, but still would lift her arms and offer hugs to any and all takers.  Later she was reduced to moaning and grunts and all we could do was administer morphine and keep her as comfortable as possible.  She would still make eye contact and I sensed a pleading for help, but there was no help I could provide other than stroking her head.

The last days watching her lie there fighting for breath was heartrending and we could only standby watching her suffering.  This morning we woke to find her at peace at last.

You know, I have always feared dying alone.  So I thought it was a good thing that mom had family around her at the end of her days.  But I also observed that no matter the circumstances, we are all going to die alone.  Mom was physically alive, but she was also already gone to some other unreachable place.  I can only hope it was comfortable and pain free there.

Thanks for all the love you so freely gave me mom.

mother1.jpg

That about sums it up

So, today is my last day at work.  At our team luncheon I’m going to talk about “change” using the Who Moved My Cheese? book as a reference point.  In doing some Google prep, I came upon this blog post which actually captures what I’m feeling these days better than I could ever hope to express.

It’s the inevitable let down at the end of a great adventure.

But I’m going to make sure this is merely the transition time between adventures.  Or go crazy.  One of those.

The end of the road

before.JPG 

Before Government service

then-and-now.jpg 

After Government Service.

What a long, strange trip it’s been.

So, today I’m being honored with a retirement luncheon at Hartell House (the CG’s mess).  I’m never all that comfortable being in the spotlight, but these milestones in life seem to demand some ceremony so I’ll make the best of it and be gracious and appreciative.  Since it’s also expected that I make some remarks I’ve been thinking about that as well.  I was going to write down some talking points, but I’ve decided to just wing it instead.  I can’t help but think of it as akin to giving your own eulogy, but I’m going to try and keep it upbeat and hopefully I’ll avoid getting emotional.  Letting go of my job is in some ways like parting with an old friend.  I know it’s time to say goodbye, but that doesn’t make it any easier. 

So, I had some odd jobs here and there, some more steady than others.  But my career in Federal service began on October 27, 1976 when I took the oath of office and became a letter carrier with the United States Postal Service in Anaheim, California.  The starting pay was $5.25 an hour, which wasn’t that good even back then.  The job did have pretty good benefits though, chief among them from my perspective was the ability to retire at age 55. 

Well, here I am 55 years old.  So I guess it could be said that with my retirement I have now achieved the goal I set for myself 34 years ago.  But I did have some fun and some adventures along the way.  I’m not sure there is anything you can say upon reaching the retirement milestone that hasn’t been said before or that isn’t a tired cliché.  But yeah, if life is a journey then your working life is a journey within that journey.  And here’s some of my story. 

Working as a mailman was actually a pretty cool job.  Except for the dogs and supervisors with unreasonable expectations.  I carried pepper spray for the dogs and became a union steward to deal with the supervisors, so it worked out ok I guess.  A couple of years after starting with the Postal Service I could afford to have a second child, and so with some assistance from my then-wife, I acquired a son to complement my daughter. 

Now, back in those days I used to really enjoy getting out of the city for some camping out.  The in-laws owned some property in Arizona that we used for this purpose and the thought occurred that wouldn’t it be great to actually LIVE there.  So, I dropped in for a visit with the Postmaster of Prescott, Arizona and as fate would have he was looking to hire a letter carrier.  So, next thing I knew I was packing up the U-Haul truck and making the big move. 

Living and working in Arizona was like a dream come true.  I bought my first house, became president of the local union, and founded a softball association.  I was living the American dream for sure and figured I was set for life.  Ah, but things do change, don’t they?  They wife and I split up and I found myself with custody of a 5 year old and a 3 year old.  And being a single parent was really, really hard work.  I’d get up a six, feed and dress the kids, drop them at daycare, carry my mail route, pick up the kids, feed and bathe them, collapse in exhaustion, then get up and do it all over again the next day.  After a few months of this routine I cried “uncle!”.  Actually, I cried “mother” as in, mom I need some help. 

Now, my parents had retired to a small hobby farm in Poteau, Oklahoma.  The nearest city of any size was Fort Smith, Arkansas.  And after a meeting with the HR Director, Ms. Bobbie McLaine, my transfer request was approved. You know, there was some culture shock when I first moved here to Korea.  But really not as much as I experienced as a California city boy living in the rural south.  I think the natives were as wary of me as I was of them, and the first year there was the loneliest of my life.  Everyday I would berate myself as I shouldered my mail satchel and walked my route in stifling heat and humidity.  I considered moving to Arkansas the absolute worst mistake I had ever made. The kids were thriving though having quickly adjusted to life on the farm.  

So, I made it through that first summer.  And as bad as an Arkansas summer was, the winter was worse.  I was now spending my days walking up and down icy pathways and porch steps.  And falling on my ass with alarming frequency.  Even when the weather was good, the work had become routine and mind-numbingly boring. It was becoming harder and harder to imagine myself carrying the mail until I reached retirement eligibility. And so I started applying for some management jobs.  Of course, I wasn’t really qualified for anything but that didn’t stop me.  There was a job open in the safety office and I figured anyone could do that!  So, one day Bobbie McLaine, the HR Director came down to the workroom and asked me if I wanted to ride with her to a scheduled labor-management meeting in Fayetteville.  Seeing as how I was a union official and I didn’t want to be viewed as sucking up to management, I declined her offer.  A little later, Dixie (the HR Director’s secretary) came to see me and she said “John, don’t you want that safety job?  Bobbie wanted you to ride with her so she could talk with you about the job”.  Oops!  Well, I made sure I was seated next to Bobbie at lunch.  And I got the job! 

Here’s the thing about Fort Smith–it was a pretty small pond.  Which made it pretty easy to be a big fish.  In addition to safety, I was soon tasked with being the labor relations representative.  And then I took on the responsibilities of being the Public Affairs Officer.  And pretty much anything else that needed to be done when there wasn’t a body to do it.  You really learn a lot that way and I seemed to have a knack for getting it right, at least most of the time. 

Now, I’ll confess to having an ego.  And I got thinking I just might need a slightly larger pond to hold it.  Of all my duties, I enjoyed labor relations the most so I started applying for every vacancy I could find.  I finally scored an interview in Charleston, South Carolina.  So, I flew out there and found the city quite charming and to my liking.  I thought I handled the interview well and afterwards one of the panel members, Jack Mabe, asked to speak with me.  He said I have your application for a job on my staff in Columbia and I’d like to interview you for that while you are here.  Naturally, I agreed. 

Now, I didn’t have any “real” LR experience other than the ad hoc stuff I was doing in Fort Smith and my union background.   The Charleston job was a small step up, but the Columbia job would constitute a huge promotion.  The interview with Jack didn’t take long–ever done an arbitration?  No.  How about an EEO case?  No.  What about MSPB?  I didn’t even know what that was.  He then asked a final question–which job would I prefer, Charleston or Columbia.  Well, what could I say?  I told him that I really liked Charleston and I thought that with my level of experience it was a better fit.  He thanked me and I left. When I made it back to my office in Fort Smith there was a message from Jack Mabe offering me the job in Columbia.  I accepted and moved to a city I had never seen.  I asked Jack later why he picked me and he said because you didn’t know anything so you wouldn’t have to unlearn any bad habits. 

Well, I was definitely way in over my head those first few months in Columbia.  But Jack was a great mentor and I learned how to do things his way which as it so happens was also the right way.  I gained confidence and competence and starting having enough success that I was getting noticed by some higher ups.  This led to an opportunity to be detailed as the Director of HR in Roanoke, VA and to doing some arbitration’s for areas outside of Columbia. 

And then came a major Postal Service reorganization.  One of those downsizing efforts to remove unneeded layers of management that seem to take place in organizations every few years.  All I was told for sure was that my Columbia job would no longer exist and that hopefully “something” would be found for me somewhere.  It was a tough time that drug on for several tortuous months.  In the end I wound up with a promotion working for the newly created Mid-Atlantic Area (one of 10 reporting directly to USPS HQ).  The best part was I could remain in Columbia because the job was traveling throughout the mid-Atlantic states doing arbitration, EEO and MSPB hearings! 

It was my dream job.  I was on the road 3 weeks out of the month, but in those days air travel was not such a bitch.  I really liked being the hired gun that came into town to handle the toughest cases.  And I won enough of them to gain a reputation for excellence.  I did this for several years and then my boss, Barry Swinehart, got promoted to the Area Director of HR.  He said he hoped I’d be applying for his old job as the Area LR manager.  I told him I already had the perfect job and lived in a perfect city and that I had no interest in living in the DC area (Arlington, VA).  Later he asked me to at least come up for a detail in the job.  I again declined. 

Then one day he called and said “John, I need you to do me a favor”.  Well, I know enough to know that when your boss says that, he ain’t asking.  And so I became the Mid-Atlantic Area Manager of Labor Relations.  It was the biggest job I ever had.  Responsible for 80,000 employees in 7 states (and DC).  Six people working for me and four angry postal unions on my ass every day.  

There was never a quiet moment and I worked long hours.  But it was a challenge and I think it really helped me learn a lot about leadership.  Or maybe I just got lucky and hired good people to work for me.  Either way, I enjoyed a fair amount of success and I was slotted into the Executive Development Program.  I was at the top of my game and the sky was limit. 

Or not.  I’ve never been much for playing politics.  And when HQ came out with some dumb-ass policy or program, I expressed my opinion accordingly.  Suffice to say I did not endear myself to the HQ VP for Labor Relations.  And then Barry Swinehart retired.  And I was deemed “not ready” to be his successor in the Postal Executive Service.  So, I took a detail assignment as the Director of HR in Little Rock, Arkansas.  It was a little like going home again and I did enjoy my time there.  I was offered the job on a permanent basis, but I decided my future lay elsewhere.  So, I took a job with the U.S. Department of Education. 

The ED is the smallest of the cabinet level Departments with just over 5,000 employees.  I was the number 2 in LR there.  I had a fraction of my previous responsibilities but a 25% pay increase, so I went for the money.  And spent four years being bored out of my mind.  Oh there were moments when I engaged in massive battles with the union on the size of cubicles (I’m not kidding!), but otherwise I was phoning it in. 

Turns out money is not everything.  I started applying for jobs that would get me out of DC and the DC mindset.  I was hoping for a job in Iraq but the Corps of Engineers apparently weren’t looking for old fat guys at the time.  I did get an offer from the Eighth Army in Korea and I jumped on it!  I had no clue what I was in for but it turned out to be the best place I’ve ever worked or lived.  You can read six years of Long Time Gone archives if you want to relive my adventures here, but I wouldn’t recommend it. 

And so this is where my career journey will end on December 31.  It was an incredible ride.  And although I might have done some things differently, I wouldn’t change a thing.  If you get my meaning.  Anyway, I’d best be getting ready to do my retirement gig.   

Taking it to the next level

Last night I completed my first level in my ongoing effort to develop at least some ability to speak Korean. I know my “alphabet” and I can read Hangul now. Not that I know what the hell I’m reading means, but it is good to not be totally illiterate.

My level 2 text looks pretty interesting. I will be learning grammar and sentence structure. And the instruction will be more of a one-on-one format which should make it a little easier. I think my biggest problem is going to be understanding the spoken word. Well, practice, practice, practice is my plan.

Subway

Had an interesting evening tonight. My realtor invited me to a dinner show at the Walker Hill Shearton. Her way of saying thanks for renewing my lease (and her commission). Also, I am not a pain in the ass for them as I tend to take care of problems directly with the landlord. She is trying to get the owner to pick up my internet fees as part of the lease. Don’t see why he would do that now that I’ve signed, but we shall see. I might start being a pain in the ass in retaliation if they don’t want to negotiate…

Anyway, the show was surprisingly good overall. During dinner we were treated to some traditional Korean dancing and music, including a great percussion performance and some fan dancing. Quite pleasing to watch. The food was about what you would expect at a dinner theatre, but I cleaned my plate anyway (steak and sweet potato). No idea what the price was because of course she picked up the tab. She mentioned wanting to go to 3 Alley Pub, so I told her I would reciprocate by taking her there some time. I’ll come out ahead on that deal for sure.

So, the main show was called “Subway”. The premise was you followed a subway through several stops in various cities and the performers did song and dance routines from Broadway productions set in that venue. Started in NYC, then Chicago, London, Seoul, Buenos Aires, and Rio de Janiero.

The performers were average for professionals (I’ve actually seen better in community theatre), but the stage props and settings were outstanding. I had seen the musical “Chicago” on Broadway, and the rendition of All That Jazz and Cell Block Tango were pretty disappointing by comparison. Still, they wore some damn sexy costumes so you take the good with the bad I suppose. For Seoul, they kinda wimped out and had some youngsters break dancing and then did some Abba numbers pretending it was a concert in Seoul. Talk about western cultural imperialism!

Ah well, it was free and it was different. And actually pretty entertaining for the most part. I’d give one thumb up and depending on what it actually costs to see the performance would recommend it as a change of pace.

A clean, well-lighted place

I don’t know why really, but in my boredom this morning I am recalling a short story by Ernest Hemingway which not so coincidentally has the same title as this post. I was a much younger man when I had to write a paper on the story for a college course in American literature. I found it haunting then, but from the perspective of my advanced years I have a deeper understanding and appreciation for what Hemingway was saying. Of course, the paper I wrote is either long gone or in a box in the garage back home (I do tend to be something of a pack rat), but you can read a take on the story by Elizabeth Wall I generally concur with here. A teaser:

The main focus of “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place” is on the pain of old age suffered by a man that we meet in a cafe late one night. Hemingway contrasts light and dark to show the difference between this man and the young people around him, and uses his deafness as an image of his separation from the rest of the world. Near the end of the story, the author shows us the desperate emptiness of a life near finished without the fruit of its labor, and the aggravation of the old man’s restless mind that cannot find peace. Throughout this story stark images of desperation show the old man’s life at a point when he has realized the futility of life and finds himself the lonely object of scorn.

Anyway, here in the real world I continue to plod (or maybe slog) along. Work was a little stressful this week. My boss was on leave the past couple of days so I had the pleasure of attending several meetings in her stead. Actually some interesting stuff going on but it’s classified so I’m not at liberty to talk about it here. I did have the experience of being grilled by a 3-star on a topic I was not as prepared for as I should have been. Not real pleasant to be sure.

After work yesterday we all went to the boss’ house for her annual Christmas gathering with the staff. She’s an excellent hostess and cook and it is always nice for everyone to get together outside of the working environment. I’ll post a couple of pictures of our group next week.

I got back home around 8:00 and it being Friday night and all I headed out to Dolce Vita. Duke and Lonnie had already left for Hongdae to play soft tip darts. Jim was there though and we killed a couple of hours at the dart board. Later June (I wrote about her once in a post called “Sodomy”) came in half lit and wanted to throw darts with us. Lonnie’s girlfriend Cindy was there as well and she was feeling like a darts widow (my words, not hers) so we invited her to join in for a doubles match. Jim and June prevailed in a hard fought match despite Cindy throwing an unlikely ton-17 (two double bulls!) in the ’01 leg.

I was ready for a change of scenery and Cindy asked if she could tag along. Cindy is a sweet Korean gal who has not had much exposure to Americans prior to hooking up with Lonnie (although I understand she did live in Canada briefly). I asked her if she had ever been to a country bar and she said no so it was off to Grand Ol’ Opry. Turns out she had never been up “the hill” either and she was quite taken aback by the prostitutes sitting in the doorways of the hooker bars as we made our way to the Opry. Somewhat surprisingly, the place wasn’t too crowded and we were able to get a table near the dance floor. She was quite impressed as she watched some pretty good country dancers. I introduced her to the Texas two-step and she did pretty good for her first time (especially since I’m a generally crappy dancer). At midnight, as is the Grand Ol’ Opry tradition, we all stood and sang “God Bless the USA” followed by “The Star Spangled Banner”. Not sure what Cindy thought of that, but I love the hell out of it. We watched a couple of line dances (which I DO NOT ever attempt) and having finished our beers departed.

On the way back down the hill we stopped in to see my friends at Debut. I’ve written about it before, just a small place filled with good people (at least most of the time), good music and friendly staff. It’s like an oasis in a desert of depravity and I will stop in once a week or so for a night cap as I make my way home. It’s definitely an after hours kinda place, doesn’t open till 9:00 and doesn’t get busy until 2 or 3 a.m. Anyway, Cindy caught the good vibes there right away and seemed to enjoy the cozy atmosphere. She was trying desperately to reach Lonnie on her cell phone without success, but I reassured her that he was busy with darts and likely couldn’t hear his phone.

Being the gentlemen that I am, I escorted her back to Dolce Vita so she could rendevous with Lonnie when he finished darts. It was almost 1:00 and all the soldiers were rushing out to beat curfew. Jim and YJ were there along with the bar staff, and Jim bought us a round of drinks. Lonnie and Duke arrived around 1:30 and I told Lonnie he owed me 20 bucks for babysitting his girlfriend all night. Of course, I actually enjoyed showing her a good time and since I never have an escort when I make my bar circuit it probably helped my image to be seen around town with an attractive Korean woman.

June came in around 2:00 about as drunk as you can be and still be standing. Actually, she was not standing long because next thing we heard was a big crash and we turned around to find her sprawled on the floor. Duke helped her up and into a chair where she sat for a few minutes before heading out. June is a really cool woman and it makes me sad to see her drink to excess. Duke says her problem is that she makes bad choices with men, gets her heart broken, and then drinks to get them off her mind. Well, there are lots of sad stories in Itaewon, that’s for sure.

The McDonald’s in Itaewon is now open 24 hours. It had been awhile since I had anything to eat and I got to craving some trans fats from Mickey D. Only the second time that’s happened since I’ve been in Korea. Duke agreed to join me, so we said our goodbyes to the Dolce crew and headed out. There was a light rain falling and out in the middle of Itaewon Blvd we observed June staggering about apparently trying to hail a taxi. Seeing as how it was just as likely that she would get run over as catch a cab, Duke pulled her out of the street and I took on the chore of finding a cab. Which proved to be unusually difficult. I guess because of the rain and late hour, everyone in Seoul had filled what is normally an endless supply of taxis. Meanwhile June was resisting our efforts to get her home safely and Duke had to physically restrain her, taking a couple of blows to the face in the process. As I looked down the street I could see several people also waiting for an empty cab. Realizing it may take an hour of standing in the rain before an empty cab got to us, I suggested crossing the street where at least we would be at the head of the queue. June was not happy about that insisting she wanted to go in the other direction. Well, there’s no reasoning with a drunk person so we manhandled her across the street.

About this time SongHee, one of the Dolce bartenders, got off work and she assisted Duke with controlling June while I continued my attempts to get a taxi to stop. Finally one did. We wrestled a reluctant June into the cab who was protesting that she didn’t want to go in that direction. She couldn’t grasp the concept of a U-turn apparently. So she’s in the cab but the driver refuses to take her anywhere in her inebriated condition. Out she comes, and we are back to square one. I’m a little pissed at this point and I tell her in my “big voice” that she is going to get in the next fuckin’ cab and go home. She nodded sheepishly and five minutes later we had her in a taxi and on her way. Hopefully she made it home without incident, but there is only so much you can do.

SongHee needed a cab too, but we invited her to join us at McDonalds. She thought that was a great idea and off we went to dine on burgers, fries, and sundaes at 3 in the morning. After our meal Duke headed home on foot and I managed to snag a cab for SongHee which I shared as far as the Cheil building near my villa.

Yep, it’s a wonderful life. Tonight I am playing in a soft tips tournament in Nowan (I have got to get out of Itaewon before I lose what is left of my mind). Tomorrow is another darts tourney at Dolce. Yes siree.

After re-reading the sad commentary above, I guess I understand why I’m in a Hemingway state of mind:

It was all nothing, and a man was nothing, too…Some lived in it and never felt it but he knew it was nada y pues nada y pues nada. Our nada who art in nada nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee…

I’m just too old for this shit.

Thanksgiving and Goodbyes

I’ve been a long time gone, haven’t I? What can I say other than to apologize for my general lack of motivation to post. But I have a quiet moment on a Sunday night so I’ll share it with you. Yeah, you. You know who you are. (Kinda neat how I made anyone who is reading this post feel special, isn’t it? Like when Elton John did “Your Song”. There is something to be said for the universal approach, and I do want both of my readers to feel included. Just the kinda guy I am).

Anyway, today I took my son Nolan to the airport and he is currently somewhere over the wide Pacific on his journey home. He had three great months in Korea and hated to leave. But no job (or visa) was found, so he had to go. He made lots of friends (certainly far more than I have in over 2 years here) and I think the experience was a very positive one for him. Anyway, he is always welcome to come back and I think that is an option he will consider. I know he will be missed by many, including me. The house already seems oddly quiet and empty. Much like my life, but I’m not going there in this post!

We had a great Thanksgiving celebration at Dolce Vita. We bought 2 nice turkeys on base (already cooked and surprisingly moist and tasty). Did pot luck on the sides, and had the usual fixin’s including mashed taters and gravy, dressing, corn, cranberry, rolls, pumpernickel bread (with YJ’s great dip) fruit salad, carrot cake, pumpkin and apple pies, and a cobbler. It really turned out well. I eat American all the time having access to the base commissary, but my expat English teacher friends really enjoyed having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Our Korean guests got a taste of something new and even added kimchi as a side. Yum, turkey and kimchi! I did miss having candied yams and green bean casserole, but the guys did the cooking for this event and having no Big Hominid amongst us, we had to make do with what our limited skills allowed.

Wanna see some pictures? Ok then:

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The bird. We bought two of them and had precious little leftovers.

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Somehow I got stuck with carving duties. Back home I use an electric knife. I managed though.

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See? I cut that baby up into tasty morsels. You can see my famous “Aunt Pat’s Recipe” fruit salad in the background. Lonnie did a great job on the potatos and dressing.

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I baked that carrot cake and we bought some pies from the bakery on post. It was all good.

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Cuatro is a soldier and captain of our dart team. He arrived with his girlfriend (whose name escapes me at the moment, sorry) ready to chow down.

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After dining, we did some socializing…here’s Nolan with Duke’s mom, Candy.

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Of course, some dart games broke out. Here’s Mario taking his best shot (of course the flash was a little distracting).

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Lonnie takes his turn…

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Wherever there is a pool table you are likely to find Nolan.

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Me and Duke posing for the camera. No, I am not as drunk as I might appear in this photo. I probably am that fat however….

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Jim seemed awfully happy to pose for a picture with Bill’s girlfriend Joon…

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Nolan’s girlfriend (well, I guess former girlfriend) Sophia. A German exchange student. I know she hated to see him go. I have a funny story about her but I think I will keep it to myself. I am sure she would be grateful for my discretion.

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Joon and Nolan became very good friends during his time here. And yes, Nolan *may* have been as drunk as he appears…

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“The 8 ball goes in the middle”. The Korean women in attendance spent a lot of time on the pool table.

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Gene throws while Kyle looks on. We had an impromptu dart tourney which Kyle and I had the good fortune to win as partners. 20,000Won each. WooHoo!

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Zeke and his lady friend. SongHee is one of the new barkeeps at Dolce. In the deep background is Haelee who is very camera shy. I was surprised I actually captured her here. Zeke is a great guy who works at the hospital on base. A couple of months ago I was getting treated for diaper rash (don’t ask!) and he told the nurse I was a VIP. She believed him and I got excellent treatment during my visit. Thanks again, Zeke!

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“Dead eye” Joon lines up for the shot…

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“No way you are going to make that shot Nolan”

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Joon, Yoolee, and Sophia looking pretty as usual. Yoolee is from Indonesia and just married Tom here in Korea. They are going to do a traditional Muslim wedding back home in January. I’ve been invited to the reception in Bali and if things work out I’ll be there.

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Duke’s girlfriend JiYoung is a fine looking darts player, if you know what I mean…

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JiYoung and her cute girlfriends. If we ever got introduced the names are lost in the fog of too much turkey and beer…

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Tom and Dave, two great guys who happen to play darts for our arch rivals the Rubbies. As of today Tom is ranked number 3, I’m 4 and Dave is 5. Its very close and with two weeks to go in the season we all think that order is subject to change. They way I have been throwing (lousy) it just might.

So that was my Thanksgiving. Really had a great time. Wish y’all could have been there. Yeah, I’m talking to you!

4 Non Blondes

Nope, not a post about the singing group, just thought using that title for this post would be more interesting than “what’s going on”. Clever eh?

UPDATE: My usual boring drivel follows, but if you scroll down I have some pretty cool pictures to look at.

Yes, as I have been reminded several times it has been quite some time since my last post. You haven’t missed much. Long time readers probably know that when I take an unannounced hiatus I’m usually in some kind of funk or another and these past couple of weeks have been no exception. Not to worry, its no big deal. Just had to overcome some disappointment but I’m well on my way to regaining perspective and getting on with the business of life. Such as it is.

Actually, as mundane as things have been I don’t really have much to complain about. But I also have precious little to say that is blog worthy. Never having let that stop me before I will share what’s going on:

Nanta. A great show, in fact one of the most fun things I’ve done in awhile. Hard to describe really. Lots of percussion, but very creative use of kitchen utensils. Funny storyline, great acting and just flat out entertaining. I would go again and I highly recommend it.

Darts. I bought some fancy new darts and I’ve been throwing them well. Our team remains in first place. I’m holding on to my #5 ranking in “B” division. And I’m being asked about playing in “A” division next season. I’d only do that if Dolce Vita fields an “A” league team. I want to keep having fun and Dolce is where my bar loyalty resides.

Fantasy Football. My team, Itaewon Sweet Life, remains undefeated through week four. As much luck as anything because I’m not scoring many points, just more than my opponents. Having fun with it though.

Saturday night/Sunday morning. It’s not news that I spend my weekends throwing darts and drinking beer, sometimes doing both to excess. No exception this past weekend. My big blogable event was a couple of things I witnessed in Itaewon. After the darts tournament at Blue Frog (since the outcome was so disappointing I will not mention it here) I’m walking over to Dolce. I observed 4 people getting in a cab. One up front, three in the back. Well, two in the back and one half way in. And the cab took off. The poor SOB that had one leg in the cab and one on the street is screaming “wait! wait! wait! The cabbie either didn’t hear or didn’t understand English because he kept accelerating. Of course, the guy couldn’t run on one leg as fast as the cab was moving and he tumbled into the street and rolled over a few times before coming to a stop in the middle of the street. Where he lay moaning loudly. The cab finally stopped and his friends ran over to offer assistance. After a few minutes they got the guy up on his feet and he appeared to be mostly ok (at least no broken bones). The cabbie stood there looking sheepish while his passengers berated him with “what were you thinking?” I moved on. I guess the lesson learned is don’t be the last one in the cab.

The other incident occurred at the end of a LONG night out. I’m walking home in the wee hours of Sunday morning. In the narrow alley behind my apartment I see a body laying right in the middle of the road. As I got closer I saw that it was a western woman. I bent down and said “hey, you need to get up!” She kinda moaned and said “no, I’m ok”. I told her “you can’t sleep here, you’ll get run over by a car”. She didn’t respond, so I told her sternly “you have to get up” and grabbed her hand and tried to pull her to her feet. She didn’t resist and said “I drank too much tonight”. No duh I thought to myself. I noticed her accent and asked if she was Australian. She said “I’m from New Zealand”. I noticed she was bleeding on her forehead and chin, but she had no recollection of what happened. I asked if she lived nearby and she said yes so I told her I would help her get home. She lived down a small alley a couple of blocks from my place. She kept thanking me for helping her and I told her we all have to take care of each other here. As we got close she repeatedly said “oh, my husband is going to be so mad at me”. Which of course I wanted no part of, so once she assured me she could make it the rest of the way, I retreated.

Ok, so not much meat to those bookends of my night but that is basically the most excitement I have had in awhile. Save your sympathy, I’m not sure how much excitement I can stand these days anyway.

As for work, well we are busy. There will be some announcement coming next week on the future of 8th Army in Korea. No inside scoop, but I think we all see the writing on the wall. I’ll just say Aloha. Couple that with the pending wartime command and control decision and I have to believe this is the beginning of end for significant U.S. ground troop presence in the ROK. We shall see.

We recently had the Civilian Employee of the Year ceremony here at Yongsan. It’s a really big deal, with the Honor Guard, 8th Army band and all that pomp and circumstance. GEN Bell is the host. My office is responsible for making it happen every year and its a lot of work. And you absolutely cannot screw up any aspect given its high profile. This year was especially nice because one of my employees, Mr. Kim, Yong-tae, was selected as the Korean Manager of the Year. Well deserved and it was great to see him recognized for his many accomplishments and dedication. Here’s some photos:

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The band enters the parade ground

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Color guard front and center

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GEN Bell and CSM Wheeler escorted to the review stand

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The ceremony begins with the presentation of colors

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And then the presentation of awards to the Civilians of the Year. That’s my Mr. Kim being honored by GEN Bell.

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GEN Bell had some very nice words regarding the importance of our US and ROK civilian workforce to mission accomplishment here in Korea.

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GEN Bell asked Mr. Kim to stand and then he publically thanked him for his 53 years of service with USFK.

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LTG Valcourt, Commader, 8th US Army, and his ROK Army couterparts.

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The 2006 Civilians of the Year. As GEN Bell said, they are truly the best of the best.

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The Honor Guard passes in review…

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…while the band plays the songs of the Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Army.

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Mr. Kim, Yong-tae, the most amazing man I have met and been honored to work with in nearly 30 years of government service.

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The proud team of the Directorate of Human Resources Management. And Nolan.

Ok, well that’s that. Nolan’s doing well, just need to get him that job so he can move forward with his life here. It looks like he’s settled on the German girl he met, although he admits its sorta ironic to move to Korea and date a European.

So I guess to end this post on the same theme it started I’ll say: Hey yay yay yay, hey yay yay yay [that’s] what’s going on….

Adventures in driving

So, at 1600 yesterday I am ready to head out to the airport. I open the garage door only to discover a car parked completely blocking my exit. Now, I’ve lived here long enough to know that the natives pretty much park whereever they please, but to actually block the entrance to a parking area for an entire apartment building is especially discourteous. So I get out of my vehicle and look around for the driver. There’s two Korean guys standing across the street watching me but they give no indication they know anything about the whereabouts of the owner of the offending vehicle.

Knowing how it’s done, I pull out my cell phone and call the number on the windshield. No answer. I left a rather nasty message in English. Now I’m very frustrated and highly pissed. I go back upstairs and call my landlord telling him he needs to get a tow truck because I had to get to the airport. He said he’d call the police, so I go back downstairs to wait. One of the two guys from across the street comes over and starts talking to me in Korean. All I recognized was “Hangul-mal” so I knew he was asking if I spoke Korean. I told him no, but he continued to speak to me while I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

About this time my landlord’s wife walks up and starts talking to the two men. They just shake their heads. I tell her I really need to get to the airport and she talks to the two men more aggressively. Then one of them walks over, pulls out some keys, starts the car and moves it! I was astounded and livid. I asked the landlord’s wife “what’s up with this?” and she just shrugged. I was about as pissed as I’ve ever been and if I hadn’t have been so pressed for time I might have gotten into an altercation. I surely wanted to slap that rude MF’er around. Oh well. I just can’t figure out what the motivation for that whole scene was. Duke thinks they were just messin’ with me because I’m a foreigner, but that makes no sense at all.

Anyway, I pick Duke up in Itaewon (he agreed to be my navigator on my first time drive to Incheon) and we head out. Very easy drive with almost no traffic and we got there in plenty of time to meet Nolan’s plane. In fact we had time for an 8000 Won draft beer in an airport bar while we waited for him to clear immigration and customs. So Nolan makes it through and we are ready for the drive home. I had been a little nervous about driving the old hoop dee on the freeway, but she did just fine and I had no trouble cruising along at 110 km/h. Dusk was falling so I turned on the headlights. I noticed my intrument lights were awful dim but didn’t really think much about it. We got to talking with Nolan and I missed the turnoff for Seoul, but no big deal, we just took the expressway on the opposite side of the river.

Traffic was very heavy, but we were moving along ok. And then my car started to stall. Same thing it did a few weeks ago. Duke said we absolutely do not want to break down in the middle lane of a crowded highway, so I moved over to the right lane. We had about 5 kms to go before reaching the Hannam bridge and I knew there was no way the old car was going to make it. Fortunately, there was an exit to the Han river park and we got off there. I found a parking lot and pulled in. Had just enough power left to get the windows up and that was it.

Nolan grabbed his luggage and we commenced walking. We found an underpass to the other side of the expressway, and after a relatively short distance caught a cab home.

So today I need to figure out just where my car is and how to tell a tow truck driver to get there. I’m sure I have a bad alternator. I was surprised when I took it in last time and all they did was replace the battery. It ran fine until I turned on the headlights, but clearly I was not getting enough charge to keep the car going after that.

Life can be such a joy sometimes.

Finished with Fifty

So another birthday has come. Older and maybe just a little wiser. Still refusing to act my age though, which for the curious is 51. No real insights or words of wisdom to offer up to you youngsters other than live each day with the goal of being happy. I’ve gotten better at that lately and I think accepting things for what they are helps me get by. There are many things in my life that would get me down if I dwelled on them. Like being here alone. But I choose to focous on the positives in my life and upon reflection I realize just how blessed I have been. My journey has taken some unexpected twists and turns, but from the vantage point of this milestone I recognize how lucky I am. Unworthy perhaps. Regardless, I’m holding on and enjoying the ride. I’m still curious and anxious to see what’s around that next corner.

I had a wonderful day yesterday (and into this morning) as my friend Duke and I celebrated our birthdays. I’ll share some tidbits and photos for those of you who are interested.


The birthday boys.

We started out at the National Theatre to see the stage production of Grease. I’d seen the movie a couple of times, but it was not high on my list of favorites. Duke had actually performed it in high school and college productions, so he was intimately familiar with the story and characters. Ji Young had no clue, thinking of Greece as opposed to Grease.

So, contrary to my earlier speculation the show was performed by Koreans in Korean. Since I didn’t really know the storyline nearly as well as I do The Wizard of Oz, I had a more difficult time following what was going on in the dialog. I had a general sense, but most was lost on me. Duke speaks decent Korean and he said they were generally true to the original. Ji Young really enjoyed it, saying the men in leather jackets and tight jeans were very sexy.

I of course could appreciate the dancing which was quite excellent. The songs were for the most part translated into Korean, but the music was the same. Duke said the translation was done quite well. Some of the songs were a hybrid of English and Korean. “Summer Love” and “Greased Lightning” were like that. I had to explain the meaning of greased lightning to Ji Young since the concept behind that idiom was unfamiliar to her. Oh they did one song that I don’t think was in the movie. Something about “sexy ass”. I surmised that from the ending of the song when the performer dropped his pants and mooned the audience. Strange that was.

The production values were very professional and it was kind of fun to see 1950’s American culture recreated on a Korean stage. There were murals of ’50s era icons, like James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, etc. The stage floor had a large emblem for Rydell High School, although it was written as Ry Dell High School. There was also a recreation of what looked like a ’57 Plymouth (with the chrome and big tail fins) that was nicely done.

Anyway, the cast was quite talented and the song and dance numbers kept me entertained. I had to laugh at some of the costumes though. Not a poodle skirt to be found, and the women’s dresses were as much 40’s and 60’s as they were 1950’s. Most of the guys were wearing jeans and black leather jackets, but at the high school dance scene I saw a lot of polyester and 1970’s disco outfits. Ah well, small quibble. I did enjoy watching these Korean actors portray American bad boys. Just like seeing Koreans dressed up all urban and doing rap music always makes me smile.

Anyway, that’s my review.


Duke and Ji Young on the steps of the National Theatre.


We didn’t have an invite backstage this time, so this is the closet we got to the cast of Grease.

After the play we were ready for dinner. I’m still bad about names around town, but the restaurant was across the river near the JW Marriott. We caught a cab right outside the theatre and headed over.


On the way to dinner I noticed this bus. Sometimes living in Korea is like being in an alternative universe where things are very much like home, but still different. I mean, in this universe I am functionally illiterate since I can’t read or write Hangul, but this bus seemed familar. Except it’s a grey lion instead of a greyhound. Just one of those passing observations which probably means nothing to anyone but me. But there it is.

We dined at a traditional Korean restaurant. So, yes that meant taking off my shoes and sitting my oversized body on the floor. Actually, I managed that quite well this time, and had room to stretch my legs out as the need arose. What was interesting about this place was they had traditional Korean entertainment taking place as you dined.


What was the name of this restaurant you ask? Read it yourself (and then tell me).

When we first arrived we were seated on these pads around an empty space on the floor. When the food was served it was carried out on the table and set before you. First time I’ve seen that done. While we were waiting for our food, I snapped some photos of the entertainment. (I took these from where I was sitting because getting up and down wasn’t worth the effort. Luckily, we were close enough that the pics are too bad).


This performer was “singing”, although it was more of a chant/storytelling kind of thing with occasional howls and moans. That’s a poor description, because it makes it sound unpleasant. It was not bad at all. She was also very expressive with her hand movements. She was accompanied by one guy with a drum, which he hit a what seemed irregular beats (I could detect no pattern at least) but apparently there was a reason for the drum strikes at various points in the song/story. If I could have understood the words it might have made more sense of course.


Next were the women doing a fan dance. Quite pleasant visually. Reminded me a little bit of the Whirling Dervishes we saw in Turkey. Well, not really but I don’t have any other point of reference.


Then we were treated to a small “band” playing traditional Korean musical instruments. What was especially interesting was their song selection. Like that ancient Korean standard “Ob la di ob la da”. You may recall the Beatles also recorded this tune.


And then our table arrived (literally) chock full of Korean goodness. Actually this picture doesn’t do it justice, and a couple of items arrived after the table (and this photo). That was a lot of food! And we ate pretty much all of it. Yum!


My dinner companions, Duke and Ji Young. Despite his appearance, Duke nor I had as yet had our first taste of beer at this point. But we were getting ready to make up for lost time.


After our meal we headed back to Itaewon and Dolce Vita. I didn’t have my darts, so I used a set of Duke’s. I played like crap all night. Someone took this picture of me pulling my darts after a failed attempt to close the 16. Nice memory.


Tom arrived at Dolce shortly after we did to join the party. We have a Challenge League match later today. Here he is telling Ji Young that all he has to do is win one leg to clinch 3rd place. Well, he might win his leg, but he will have to beat me to do it. Which I guess is obvious, but I’m just sayin’ talking ain’t gonna win it, he’s gonna have to do it on the dartboard.


After a couple of hours of throwing darts, we moved the party up the street to the Bless U Pub. Here’s a photo of what we did there. Shots. Lots and lots of shots. And beer.


This is the guy who poured all those shots. Jin, the barkeep at Bless U.

Gina is the owner of Bless U and she bought a lot of the aforementioned shots. After the birthday song came the traditional birthday kiss. Just to be clear it was my first and only kiss of the night….


Evie (you remember, the star of Dorothy) was there with a group of her friends and joined us for a round of shots. Then she posed with me for this photo. She’s such a sweetheart. She even remembered my name!

And that is where the batteries in my camera gave out. I might have been wise to take that as a sign (or omen), but alas the night (morning) was not yet to end. Around 0230, someone had the bright idea of going to the noreebang to do some singing. Being well lubricated I joined the group and participated in butchering songs for a couple of hours. Afterwards, Tom (who is temporarily staying in the dorm at Smoo University) asked to spend a couple of hours at my place so he wouldn’t have to wake someone to let him into the dorm. So, we walked to my place in the rain (no umbrellas) and he cooked up some eggs and bacon (I was not in the mood to cook and he was the hungry one). We ate, he left, and I crawled into bed around 0600.

And today I feel like shit. Imagine that.

That’s the story of my birthday so far. I need to play that dart match around 1900 but otherwise I am going to stick close to home today. It’s all good, right?

Somewhere over the rainbow

Yesterday I attended the musical “Dorothy” at the Yonsei University theatre. It was my first exposure to the performing arts in Korea and I was very favorably impressed. It was a rather unique take on “The Wizard of Oz” story, recognizable but quite different too.

Of course, almost all the dialog was beyond my comprehension but the singing and dancing was very impressive. They did an excellent job with the costumes, and the stage props, while simple, were effective and appropriate. Not a Broadway production by any means, but very professional and entertaining.

I was curious how what had always struck me as a uniquely American story would translate for a Korean audience. Turns out, the tale as told in this interpretation was quite universal in its values. There were 9 in our group, 5 American and 4 Koreans. None of the Koreans had seen or heard of “The Wizard of Oz”. This surprised me because TWOO is one of the most popular movies ever made. Then again, I am still very much America-centric in my thinking which is something I need to constantly guard against as I attempt to engage Korean culture. It was my faulty logic that led me to think the story wouldn’t translate well. At least one of the Korean women in our group was crying while Dorothy said her goodbyes to Scarecrow, Tinman and the Lion.

So, for you TWOO fans, here is how they told the story in Korea (remember, I caught almost none of the

dialog, so take my observations with a grain of salt (hell make it a pound of salt). Or its metric equivalent (see, I’m trying).

It started with a “cat” (portrayed by a beautiful Korean woman in a skin tight leotard) doing some modern dance routine under a crescent moon. Very graceful and sleek, her movement was indeed “catlike”. And then a man in a chicken costume (assuming man based on voice) appears on stage. The cat stalks the chicken and after some back and forth captures the fowl and drags it off stage. Soon the chicken (much reduced in size (stuffed toy) is carried back on stage in a cage by the cat, who hangs the cage on the tip of the aforementioned crescent moon, which then ascends from view as the stage fades to black. I have no idea what that scene was all about, other than the cat had some magical powers (beyond the power of seduction). Well, I wasn’t technically seduced, so let’s rephrase and say I found the cat enchanting…

Anyway, the curtain rises and we see a telephone booth (telephone was written in English) and underneath the booth we see the legs of the wicked witch (of the East?). Then the Munchkins come out and discover the body which pretty much freaked them out. They weren’t “little people” like in the movie, but they were gaily dressed in colorful costumes and their antics were quite hilarious. While they were checking out the body to make sure their nemesis was indeed deceased, Dorothy pops out of the phone booth. Unlike the movie, she was already wearing the ruby red slippers (as opposed to taking them from the dead witch). Upon seeing Dorothy, the Munchkins freak out again, but finally they calm down and introductions commence (I understood anyonghaseyo). Then they break into a song and dance routine, although the song WAS NOT “ding dong the witch is dead”.

Soon the other bad witch (of the West?) shows up with the aforementioned cat. When this witch figures out that Dorothy killed her sister, her and the cat attempt to accost poor Dorothy, but the red slippers apparently act as some kind of shield and they are unable to lay a hand upon her. About this time, Glenda the good witch (from the North?) arrives and the bad witch and cat retreat. Quite a bit of dialog occurs, and then Glenda breaks into song. Didn’t understand a word of it of course, but that witch could sing! And then after some more chat, Dorothy heads off down the yellow brick road on her quest for Oz. She didn’t sing the “follow the yellow brick road” song, instead it was a catchy little tune with some “la la la’s” and “dee dee dee’s” that had the audience clapping along.

Next we see Dorothy in the forest and when she tries to pick an apple, the trees give her a stern talking to. There were three of them, great costumes and the Korean speaking audience was chuckling over whatever they were saying. In the background you can see the scarecrow hanging on his pole. To my delight, the cat shows up again in this scene and is soon attacked by the trees. Dorothy rescues the cat by tickling the trees until they retreat off stage. The cat seems rather ungrateful and leaves shortly thereafter. About this time, the scarecrow comes to life and does a little song and dance before he and Dorothy continue down the yellow brick road.

Soon they encounter the Tinman, rusted into immobility. With a little oil in the joints he’s as good as new, and he of course breaks into a lively dance, where he is joined by a group of female tin men (er, tin women). I don’t know what it had to do with the story, but they did a great robot dance set to rock music which was quite visually appealing. Yeah, they were also quite sexy. So sue me for being a man.

After continuing down the path they meet up with the cowardly lion. He was definitely the audience favorite. Don’t know what he was saying, but all the Koreans were laughing hysterically. Then out of nowhere, a whole bunch of cats show up. They are dancing around, mewing, and getting into mini-catfights with each other. You know I loved that part! The lion (or was it the scarecrow?) starts counting the cats “one, two, three, five, eight, ten!” which I think was the only English in the production and I thought it was funny as hell.

Continuing on their way the troupe is put under some enchantment by the evil witch and they fall asleep. The cats come and capture Dorothy and carry her off to the witch’s lair. When they awaken and discover Dorothy is gone some hilarity ensues while scarecrow and tin man convince the cowardly lion to join them in rescuing poor Dorothy. Which they do after fighting off the cats and melting the witch (Which witch? The wicked witch). Dorothy is watching the action from inside a bird cage, and of course when she is released it calls for a song and dance. Seems like the cats are relieved to be free of the witch and they are in a partying mood. Two of them were all over the lion, patting his fur and rubbing his paws. Lucky lion! When it was time to continue the journey to Oz the lion didn’t want to leave the cats, but eventually relented and joined his friends.

Once they get to Oz the guards won’t let them in at first, Dorothy cries and tin man gives the guard the witch’s broom and finally he relents. They did a pretty nice job with the wizard prop, and it was of course soon revealed that the wizard was nothing more than a little man behind the curtain. So he gives the scarecrow a diploma, the tin man a heart shaped clock, and the lion a medal. Tearful goodbyes are said, Glenda the good witch returns for another powerful song, and Dorothy gets in the balloon with the wizard. No clicking the heels three times and saying “I wish I were home.”

As I say, it was very well done and quite enjoyable to watch. Enough of the original where I could follow along, but different in ways that made it a new experience. I especially liked the updated music and dance routines. Wanna go? I think it runs through next Sunday the 27th, but don’t trust me on that. Check with Yonsei to be sure.

Oh yeah, afterwards we got invited back stage where we posed for pictures with Dorothy (Eun Guil who also goes by Evie which is good because I butcher the pronunciation of her name). Like the idiot I am I forgot to bring my camera but hopefully someone will email me some copies. I told Evie it was a great show but I had wanted to sing along with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. She said they had really wanted to include that song but could not afford to pay for the rights to use it. Another interesting tidbit, Evie’s boyfriend said Evie had never seen the movie either. Well, she nailed the part quite nicely and maybe not trying to do it the way Judy Garland did was a better approach.

Anyway, it was a great day and a good break from my Itaewon routine. I even took the city bus for the first time. Yeah, I’m quite the adventurer aren’t I?