Something weird is going on with my left leg. I first noticed it Wednesday evening while crossing the National Highway en route to Hideaway. I had to go from a walk to a jog as I had misjudged the speed of an oncoming Jeepney. When I took the first step in running mode, my knee gave way. I somehow managed to regain my balance and avoided falling down on the road, which may have been fatal if the Jeep were unable to stop. The leg felt weak afterward, but there was no pain. After a few beers at Hideaway, I felt fine, so I walked to Harley’s for the meet-up with my friend. By the time I reached Baloy Road, the leg was acting up again–it felt numb, and I had a slight limp. I took a trike home from Harley’s, so the leg got plenty of rest.

On my morning walk yesterday, I felt a twinge in the leg early on, but I kept going, and eventually, the leg felt normal again. You might say I walked it off. Today for the Friday group hike, we took a Jeepney all the way to Castillejos for a long loop walk. About a kilometer into that trek, the leg flared up again. This time, the more I walked, the worse it got. I pressed on until the 3.5K mark, and then it felt like my knee was going to collapse. I miraculously found a trike to take me back to the highway. Until it ran out of gas about a half kilometer from our destination. I hoofed it the rest of the way without much problem, then caught a Jeep back to Barretto. After the rest during the ride, the leg feels normal again. I’ll test it out again tomorrow and see how it holds up. It would really suck to lose my ability to hike. Still, I was thankful we were on the pavement today. I’m not sure what I would have done if we were somewhere up in the hills.

Last night, I began my beer-drinking ritual in Calapadayan for the grand opening of a new “resort” called 13 One Three. It was formerly known as Hunter Jo’s Inn and was a regular stop in the Hash On-Home rotation. Monday night, the Hash will be returning to One Three to give it a try.

It’s a fifteen-minute Jeepney ride from Barretto, so I don’t expect I’ll be a regular visitor here, but it’s a nice change of pace from the same-old, same-old once-in-a-while. Last night, the guests received a free beer upon arrival, and you could purchase a beer card for 500 pesos, good for six more. So, I had my seven and headed back to my little town.

It was too early to call it a night, so I camped out at Wet Spot for a bit and had a nice chat with some visitors from Angeles. These guys have been in the PI for over twenty years, and it was interesting hearing their perspectives on how things have changed. All in all, it was a good evening out.

Facebook memories reminded me of the night six years ago that I helped Loraine celebrate her 50th birthday on the beautiful island of Boracay. I was still living in Korea then and Loraine was slated to become my caregiver in retirement.

Three weeks later, we were professing our love for one another. A love that lasted two days before she shattered my heart. I wrote about that in a post entitled “FUCK ME!”

We are still connected on Skype and this morning I sent the picture above and wished her a happy Birthday. This was her response:

Hi John
Thank you very much!
Nice and very memorable photo.❤️
Hope all is well for you.
I’m doing fine and thankful to God for all the people who became His channel of blessings for me and my family.You’re one of them.😊
Thank you very much and take care always.❤️

Hmm, a channel for God’s blessings. I’ve been called worse, I suppose. Still, it is good to remember your past, no matter how painful, so you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Not that that has ever stopped me before. Knowing and doing are two different realms. I’ve still not mastered the latter. And for the record, I am happy that Loraine says she is doing well.

I had another blast from the past when I checked to ensure I hadn’t used the “out of gas” post title before. That led me to read this post about a typical day spent with my most recent lost love. I don’t know if there was an intended message for me from the Love Gods, but I couldn’t help but note that mundane twenty-four hours included eating and drinking together, walking the dogs together, and doing the group hike together. Perhaps it is high time I got my shit together. Lots to think about.

Friday night is on the horizon. I’m thinking I’ll forgo the SOB tonight. We’ll see where I wind up.

Is everything all right?
I just called to say how lost I feel without you
Miles away
I really can't believe I'm here and how I still care about you

Hearts can break
And never mend together
Love can fade away
Hearts can cry
When love won't stay forever
Hearts can be that way

Is everything the same?
Do you ever think of me and how we loved one another?
Will you change your mind?
Will you want me back again or have you found yourself a new lover?

Hearts can break
And never mend together
Love can fade away
Hearts can cry
When love won't stay forever
Hearts can be that way

Is everything okay?
I just thought I'd write a song to tell the world how I miss you
'Cause each and every day
I think of all the words I never said and all the chances that I had to

Hearts can break
And never mend together
Love can fade away
Hearts can cry
When love won't stay forever
Hearts can be that way
Hearts can be that way
Hearts can be that way

But wait, there’s more! Like the photos from the Wednesday Walkers street and beach walk in Matain, Calapacuan, and San Isidro.

Later in the afternoon, I did the Wednesday feeding of the Hideaway girls. On the way there, I got a call from an old friend I had not heard from in several months. I met her shortly after she arrived in Barretto a couple of years ago when she participated in one of our group hikes. I tried courting her, but she rejected me as a potential boyfriend after a couple of dates. She hooked up with an alcoholic instead (and if I use that term to describe someone, you know they must be bad). She joined him in his European homeland, and based on her Facebook posts, she seemed to be having a good time. I noticed the drunk guy was back and with a new girl and was wondering what happened to her. She asked if I would meet her at Harley’s for a chat, and I agreed to do so.

So, she told me her sad tale, which didn’t come as a surprise to me. I reminded her of the loser she came to Barretto for and the one she left with and asked if she detected a pattern. And yeah, I get the irony of me pointing out the relationship failures of others. Alas, she expressed no regret about the one who got away. She’s moving back home to her province today, so we said our goodbyes, and I departed with John Greenleaf Whittier echoing in my head: “For of all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these–it might have been.”

The move has not allowed me to escape from the construction noise I suffered at the old place, but at least now the work is to my benefit.

So, my days as a would-be Sugar Daddy are over and done with.

You know I’m a punny guy, and this meme was right up my alley:

Thanks. I’ll be here all week.

It’s too soon to say but things don’t seem so different. I’m going to give it some more time before making up my mind once and for all. In the meantime, life goes on.

The big excitement at Royal was finding a frozen Sara Lee cherry pie on sale for 50% off. How could I refuse?

Of course, man does not live by dessert alone. So, while the pie baked, I got busy setting up my grill.

Around beer o’clock, Swan and my helper departed for a shopping expedition in Olongapo. Left to my own devices, I ventured into town and found myself nursing a beer at Sloppy Joe’s. Jim was there with Rob, another hiking group member, so I joined them at their table. A couple of beers later, Rob left for darts, and Jim and I moved on to The Green Room. I enjoyed watching Jim get his ass kicked by a waitress in a couple of pool games. They both played well, so it was entertaining to watch. After more beers at Voodoo, we paid a visit to Alley Cats, where the dart tournament was still in progress. Once Troy was eliminated from the tourney, we continued our bar crawl with a stop at Queen Victoria. Jim and Troy moved on to Lux, but I’d had enough and headed home.

I slept alone again. Heavy rains during the night woke me up twice. But with the sunrise the storm subsided.

I’m refraining for now from commenting on other aspects of my life until I get things sorted out. No need to rush to judgment.

My first morning wake up in the new place. I rose a bit before five, enjoying my morning coffee as I scrolled my favorite blogs on the internet. Then I glanced out my window and saw this:

I spend a lot of my home time at my desk, or should I say, on my laptop, so I decided to take advantage of those windows to the outside world:

I had coffee on the patio with Swan before she left for her Sunday “me” time.

Lots of questions about what happens next are filling my head, but the rent is paid in full for the next twelve months, so I don’t need to hurry to resolve them.

I went back to the old place and fetched Lucky today. He was sheepish around me but allowed me to leash him up and walk him to his new home. I’m leaving him out in the yard for now until I can decide whether he can be trusted again or forgiven for his transgressions against his master.

I’ll be doing the Hideaway feeding later since I’m home alone anyway. After that, who knows? I reckon it will involve my partaking in some additional San Mig Zeros. Hey, it’s what I do best.

Here’s a chart I came up with to illustrate the likelihood of my giving up the bar life:

And I’m not a whiz in the kitchen, but I’m thinking I could make this low-calorie meal:

And this one struck just a little too close to home:

One day at a time and see what happens next. That’s the mode I’m in. But, I’ve got both feet firmly on the ground so I won’t have far to fall if things go wrong.

I get this feeling I may know you
As a lover and a friend.
But this voice keeps whispering in my other ear,
Tells me I may never see you again.

'Cause I get a peaceful easy feeling.
And I know you won't let me down
'Cause I'm already standing
I'm already standing
Yes, I'm already standing on the ground

And I have no power. Nothing like a brownout on moving day. Trust me, that bites. This post will be short and sweet to ensure I finish it before my laptop battery is depleted.

When it came time to load the dogs, Lucky wouldn’t come. When I reached under the table to pick him up, he went into full attack mode. He was out for blood and he got it, inflicting several deep bites. A couple are still oozing blood hours later.

So, Lucky has now literally bit the hand of the one who feeds him. He is that stupid and disloyal. My first response was to retaliate in kind, but I let him live despite my anger. I’m still not sure how I will deal with this long-term, but at the moment, I’m feeling no love. He is still at the other house, but my helper will dog-walk him back here later. As of now, my plan is to make him an outside dog 100% of the time. I don’t want to be around him.

Power is not due to be restored until 5 p.m. It is hot inside with no fans to stir the air. I hope I haven’t moved into a cursed house. Nothing to do but ride it out.

My daughter messaged me this morning asking if I had a picture of her when she was in the Homecoming Court during high school. It seems my eldest granddaughter (the one who just turned eighteen) is following in Mama’s footsteps.

While I was searching for that photo above, I came across pictures of some houses from my past.

Let’s hope my life here on Bryce Street in Barangay San Isidro, Subic, is a good and long one!

And so it is just about time for the maiden voyage to life in my new digs on Bryce Street. The movers will be here at 0900 tomorrow, and it shouldn’t take long to load up my meager possessions and carry me to whatever the future will bring.

The consensus of the commenters on this post is that disaster awaits me. I was impressed with the insights my readers offered and quite touched by their concern. Welp, there is no turning back now, and I’m going into this with eyes wide open. If it works out for me, great. If not, well, I’ve been there before, and I’ll find my way back to wherever it is I belong.

Swan has promised me that things will be different for us once I move in. So, in that sense, my time has come. In my heart, I believe that Swan is a good woman without bad intent. She may not share in all my interests and activities, but I think we’ll find things we enjoy doing together (like travel), and I’ll convert some of my bar time to home-together time. I trust we’ll both make compromises and that we will be comfortable together. We’ll both maintain our share of “me time” as well, and I’m good with that. Again, I respect the views expressed by those with contrary opinions and recognize that I could be completely wrong in what I believe to be true, but there is only one way to find out. We will know one way or the other soon enough.

Swan told me in a message this morning, “I love you.” Prompted by something a commenter suggested, I asked her what it is she loves about me. She responded that I respect her, that I’ve been patient with her, and she loves everything about me. Hmm, it’s hard to argue with that!

Last night, I treated myself to dinner at John’s Place.

After dinner, I planned to use more of my voucher at Whiskey Girl. On the way, I ran into Troy, and he told me Jim was drinking alone at It Doesn’t Matter, so I decided to join him for a beer. We had a couple, and then Jim accompanied me to WG. Whiskey Girl has a “buy one, get one” happy hour, so I didn’t get to use my coupon much. Gary, another hiking buddy was there, and between him and Jim buying drinks, I didn’t have any more room. I did, however, keep the thirst of Jenn and Kim satiated with lady drinks.

There’s yet another new bar that just opened in Barretto, and since it is next door to Whiskey Girl, we decided to check it out.

We finished our night on the town at Queen Victoria. I rather enjoyed my next to last night of “freedom,” or whatever it is I’ll call this chapter of my life that is now drawing to a close.

Ready for some memes?

Anyway, that’s where things stand with me as of now. I’ll be doing the SOB later today at The Green Room.

And now for my last shower and shave on Shenandoah Bend.

And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

Rawhide, of course. (There’s a method to my madness; wait for it.)

Shall we start with some photos from the Wednesday Walkers trek? Alright, here you go:

A shower, a nap, and a blog post filled the afternoon hours. Thanks again for those comments with words of wisdom and advice. The jokes were good, too!

The vendor lady I’d been buying meals from on Wednesday wasn’t available, so the girls ordered some food from a local Korean eatery.

I had a pleasant visit in Hideaway. I took over the DJ duties and played some shit no one there had heard before. The kind of music my daddy listened to when I was a boy. Like the Frankie Laine classic “Rawhide.” And there you have the big reveal of why I came up with the convoluted post title referencing uncooked meat. I was surprised to find a post from 2009 titled Rawhide, so I had to get creative for this one.

Of course, I wasn’t done yet. I’ve got SOB coupons to expend, and I decided to put that 1500 peso voucher to work for me. Woohoo! Free beer. I started in Alaska and had three there (and two lady drinks). Then, I moved next door to Wet Spot and used the voucher for two additional beers. The coupon is only good for customer drinks, so I was out of pocket for the drinks I bought Aine, my waitress, and the bartender. Manager Brett comped me a beer, and so did owner Dave. That provided me the satisfactory level of inebriation I require of myself, so I called it a night and triked on home.

What do y’all think of this:

He’s gonna have a Rawhide in the morning!

Not that I have anything to worry about. It is what it is, and what will be will be. Of course, living in the moment is even easier when you drown any dissenting thoughts in copious amounts of San Mig Zero. I’ve become a master of that technique!

I brought groceries from Royal home to Shenandoah Bend for the last time yesterday morning. Everything is on for the big move on Saturday. I packed some more boxes and don’t have much furniture besides a stove, fridge, freezer, and bed to haul to the new place. I arranged for a crew with my driver to do the heavy lifting.

I am meeting with my current landlord’s representative and the new tenant tomorrow morning. I’m not worried about it, though. Over two years of wear and tear on the furniture, but no real damage to the apartment. Since I broke the lease, I don’t expect to see any of my security deposit returned anyway. I’m still glad a new tenant was found so my landlord doesn’t suffer any loss with my move.

I asked Swan to join me for dinner last night. I had a hankering for some barbeque meats at Pujon Corner. Swan declined my invitation with a curt “I don’t want to.” Alrighty then. Looks like I’m still at the bottom of her priority list. Honestly, these past couple of months have been my loneliest time since moving to the Philippines. Since I consider myself in a relationship, I can’t be with anyone else, but the one I care about doesn’t seem to want to be with me. Something will change soon, and I expect the move will resolve the questions lingering in my head. One way or the other, I am not going to continue living in no-man’s land.

When I left the house for my evening in town, I planned to visit John’s place for my solitary dinner. But halfway there, the skies opened up, and even the small umbrella I carried couldn’t keep me dry. I had a “buy one, take one” coupon in my wallet for Green Room, so I took shelter there. And wound up staying until my quitting time. That’s very unusual for me not to change my venue over the course of a night out.

One thing that made it easier to extend my stay (besides the half-price beer) was I finally put my foot down and told the girls “no” when they surrounded my table. That Rule #1 ain’t gonna enforce itself, after all! I enjoyed having some quiet time, but I also purchased one lady drink each for my two waitresses, but not until after my third beer. Now, that’s self-discipline!

During the course of my time in Green Room, I got to hang out with two different buds, Bruce and Jim. I was actually in the process of leaving (I’d already paid my tab) when Jim arrived, so I stuck around for another beer. We discussed changing our scenery, but in the end decided, why bother? I admit my discount coupon may have influenced me.

But that was yesterday, and yesterday’s gone. A pleasant group hike this morning, some pork chops are stewing in the crockpot, and a feeding for the Hideaway girls is on tap for later today. And I’m just not going to worry about the future; whatever happens, I’ll deal with it. Maybe a solitary life is my destiny.

These are golden oldies, but it’s the best I got for today:

This afternoon is the long-anticipated “coming out” gathering. Well, maybe that is overstating it, but Swan has select family members and friends coming to the house to eat, drink, and meet me. I know it is a big deal to her, and culturally speaking, being introduced to the family is an important step on the relationship ladder. I’m not sure if this is a test I could potentially fail, but all I can do is be my usual charming self, and they can love me or leave me. I’m curious to see if today’s get-together means that Swan will be more open about our relationship status. I hope so; this pretending we are not a couple is beyond tiresome. Next week, we’ll be living under the same roof. As roommates or lovers remains to be seen.

Swan is preparing a feast for the family, including fish and pork in Filipino fashion. I’m contributing a pot of chili with cornbread. I’m also baking brownies for dessert. At least no one will go home hungry.

Since I will be otherwise occupied this evening, I did my Hideaway feeding last night.

With my duty done at Hideaway, I headed back to my side of town. Last night was the 15th anniversary of the opening of Wet Spot, so I popped in to say congrats.

I wasn’t quite ready to go home just yet, though. I’d heard Barretto’s newest drinking establishment was having its soft opening last night. It’s only a block away on the highway from Wet Spot, and I wanted to see what it was all about.

So, as I’m sitting at the bar, taking it all in, I hear a voice from the dance floor calling out to me. Well, I’ll be. It was Tin-Tin, formerly a waitress at Queen Victoria, now dancing for Red Bar. I hadn’t seen her for a couple of years, so I invited her down to say hello and buy her a drink.

A couple of hiking buddies, Troy and Ric, also showed up, so it was good to share the opening experience with them. But as always seems to happen, time passed, and I knew I should be making my way home, and that’s just what I did.

It was a good night out, though. Let’s hope things go well at my meet-the-family event today.