It was run #1313, what could go wrong? Well, actually nothing went wrong. The sun was shining, the Hares laid a challenging but not overly difficult trail, and I made it through to the end unscathed. A good day indeed!
Google Earth says 7k, but it felt longer. Took me over an hour and a half and I was soaked with sweat.
Waiting at Johannson’s to get started.
Listening closely to the Hare’s last minute instructions…
And we are On-On!
Interesting trail in that we spent an equal amount of time on the streets of town…
…and up in the hills.
Lots of steps as well.
In fact, it reminded me of climbing up Namsan…
What goes up must come down. We went up and down the hills three times by my count…
…in town…
…and out.
over the streams…
….and up the mountains.
and through the alleys and backstreets.
A cabin in the woods. More or less. Mostly less.
There was something fowl about this place.
A final creek to wade across left me with wet shoes. Damn those nasty Hares!
And we finished up back at Johansson’s for the on-home after Hash circle…I once again avoided time on the ice.
One of the violations that will put you on ice is not wearing proper Hash attire. Here Wonder Woman proves that she has indeed dressed (undressed?) for the occasion.
Hot Filipina asses on ice!
Drank my share of beers then went next door to Alley Cats for a few more. Then I headed on home to unpack the crockpot…
…and indulge myself in a pulled pork sandwich. I might have finally found a good source for these pork loins that turned out to be quite tasty indeed.
28,000 steps on the day. Still feeling blue, but this too shall pass!
Somewhere back in her long ago
Where he can still believe there’s a place in her life
Someday, somewhere, she will return
She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He’s watching her go
But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
There’s nothing at all
But what a fool believes he sees…
—Doobie Brothers
I’m not sure it rises to the level of an epiphany, but I’ve been doing some thinking (shaddup!) and I believe I’ve turned the corner on gaining some understanding and insights into my so-called life.
As regular readers have likely discerned, I’m what you might call relationship challenged. I’ve certainly done more than my share of wallowing in self-pity, but lately I’ve been considering more about what exactly my problem is. And as it turns out, surprise surprise, the problem is me. Yeah, I’m the common denominator in every single one of my past failures. Go figure. But why exactly is that?
As I look back on my most recent “love” relationships and the additional loss of what I considered to be some true friends I just couldn’t get my mind around how people could act that way towards me. I mean, I’m far from perfect but I do try to treat people the way I hope to be treated, I’m probably generous to a fault, and I do my best to be honest in my interactions with those few individuals I’m close to in my life. So it is especially disappointing when these folks fail to keep their promises, lie to my face, and outright betray me. How can I be such a poor judge of character?
And there’s the rub. What I’ve come to understand is that these people I’ve allowed to hurt me were just being who they are. My expectations and beliefs about their innate goodness were nothing more than my projections of what I wanted them to be. And that blinded me to their true nature. Hmm, well that seemed a lot more profound in my head than it does here in writing, but I hope you get my meaning. People are going to be who and what they are, wishing and believing them to be what your hoping for doesn’t make a bit of difference. Hell, it only took me 63 years to figure that out!
I think my recent experience with Marissa really illustrates that point. I’ve been so frustrated that she can’t or won’t give me the type of girlfriend experience I most desire. I should actually give her credit for honestly living as who she is, not what I want her to be. Unlike my past loves and so-called friends who always pretended to care about me only to turn their backs and desert me when something they thought was better came along.
As a practical matter how will these new insights make a difference? Well, hopefully I’ll be both more discerning in my choices (looking hard to discover the true nature of the people I let into my life) and also more accepting of who someone is, even when it does not align with my wants and desires. Easier said than done I suppose. But I think I can learn to be satisfied with having people around me who may not fulfill all my needs. I’m also learning to accept that I may be destined to live out my life alone most of the time. And I am getting more accustomed and comfortable with that. Better to be alone than with the wrong someone, that’s for sure.
Speaking of being alone, I did in fact end things with Marissa. It’s kind of funny in a sad way, because once I had got my mind around that she wasn’t ever going to be my ideal, but I could still enjoy my time with her, she went tampo on me and did it in a way that was embarrassing. I just don’t need that kind of drama in my life (heh, she went from being better than nothing to “eh, not so much” just like that). The link above gives you the Wikipedia definition of tampo, including this quote from Reekay Velez, an American vlogger here in the Philippines:
“To avoid confrontation, this tampo thing has developed over the years to where they don’t wanna speak in anger, they don’t wanna confront and say, ‘Hey, you hurt me with this or that.’ What I found out triggers it most of the time is that a guy spent one nanosecond more than he should’ve noticing a pretty girl passing by. Ninety-nine percent of the time, that’s what it is. All of a sudden, the wife, the girlfriend doesn’t wanna talk to him anymore.”
Anyway, she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong and after asking three times I’d had enough. I’m ashamed to admit that I lost my temper and yelled at her, which of course didn’t help matters. The next day she did admit that she was jealous of how I was interacting with the other bargirls. Well, if she had been responsive I could have assured her I was not interested in either of the women in question (I consider them friends that I joke around with). But I have a very low tolerance for jealous behavior and given the overall unsatisfactory nature of the relationship I knew it was time to walk away. As my friend Jerry reminded me, in the Philippines when a relationship ends you just say “next!”. We’ll see.
So, speaking of next, I saw this description of a relationship on the Althouse blog:
“When you think of what it is you’re looking for in a significant other, you’re generally talking about someone to talk to, someone to spend your day with, someone to talk about your day with, someone to go places with and enjoy life. Never in that is there ‘I want someone that’s going to cry at the drop of a hat, or be mad at me for no reason.’… In any relationship, the same exact feelings you have in the first two years of a relationship — that insane, intense drive — always tend to change after a couple of years. They turn to laying your life out with each other. They turn to be more everyday, logical… And for her to be able to reciprocate that way to me, on a routine basis, is fantastic.”
That is exactly what I’m hoping to find for myself someday! But here’s the punchline: the guy describing his relationship is married to someone who is a diagnosed psychopath! I guess maybe it’s true that you’d have to be crazy to love a man like me!
Oh well, I’ll find her or I won’t. In the meantime I’m going to enjoy the life I have, solitary though it may be. I’ll find ways to fill the holes and get my needs fulfilled (yeah, I’m considering easing my stance on no barfines). Minute by minute, I’ll keep holding on.
You will stay just to watch me, darlin’
Wilt away on lies from you
Can’t stop the habit of livin’ on the run
I take it all for granted like you’re the only one
Livin’ on my own
Somehow that sounds nice
You think I’m your fool
Well, you may just be right
‘Cause minute by minute by minute by minute
I keep holding on
Oh, minute by minute by minute by minute
I keep holding on
Call my name and I’ll be gone
You’ll reach out and I won’t be there
Just my luck you’ll realize
You should spend your life with someone
You could spend your life with someone
Minute by minute by minute by minute
I’ll be holding on
Oh, minute by minute by minute by minute
I’ll be holding on…
Typhoon Mangkhut has surfaced in town and by all accounts she’s gonna be a whale of a storm.
The tracker I saw put us at the outside edge of the storm’s intensity. Went to bed with some rain happening and I awoke at 0100 when the power (meaning aircon and fan) went out. Wind was gusting hard and the rain was pounding in sideways. I’ve been in the dark ever since, which sucks of course. Still glad I’m not living in one of the many shantytowns around here. I can only imagine how scary this storm must be for them.
Thus far this is the only “damage” I’ve suffered. That’s my new black trashcan out in the middle of the road. I was able to retrieve it prior to it surprising some unsuspecting motorist.
What a typhoon looks like from my living room balcony. It’s hard to get a good picture of wind, isn’t it?
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world my kids in South Carolina are dealing with the impact of Hurricane Florence. They are in Columbia, about a hundred miles inland, so hopefully they will not have any problems weathering the storm. It was kind of funny exchanging be safe messages with them last night/this morning.
Looks like I’ll be stuck inside for the duration. Not sure what I’ll do when the battery goes on my laptop. First world problems can be so frustrating!
Today’s highlight was playing in the MVP tournament.
As my last hurrah for the Friday dart league that I won’t be playing in next season, I did agree to participate in the end of the season doubles event. We lost in the first round, but came back through the loser’s bracket and defeated the team that put us there. Twice. Which means we are the champions!
Good job by my partner for the night Liezel….
I can’t account for why my darts were better at the end than at the beginning. I just have to believe it had something to do with the aiming fluid.
Prove me wrong!
Anyway, it was a good night for darts.
And now the rains have started. Let’s see how much punch this super typhoon is going to throw our way….
Up at 0530 which is pretty much my norm. Had a quick walk then breakfast at Arizona Resort. Hustled home afterwards for my shopping excursion to the S&R store.
My driver Donnie was right on time at 0900…
As is my custom, I dropped off my laundry on the way out of town. A week’s worth of dirty clothes washed and folded for the equivalent of 8 bucks…
I’ve always gone to the S&R in San Fernando but the road there is under construction and traffic sucks. I had heard of an S&R in Dau near Angeles City so I told Donnie let’s give that one a try this time.
On the road. Clear sailing on the expressway. Probably further in miles than San Fernando but about 30 minutes quicker.
The store in Dau was much newer and appears larger as well.
Warehouse shopping at it’s finest. Or so I thought.
Oh, did I mention Christmas season starts her on September 1st?
Anyway, this S&R proved to be a disappointment. Things I had expected to find were not in evidence (including things I know the other S&R stocked). I was especially unhappy with the frozen foods and meat selections. Keep in mind, the trip alone costs me 3,000 pesos (about $60) on top of prices that are not necessarily the best deal in town (not to mention that you have to buy most things in larger than normal quantity/size). For this reason I only go once a month and when I go I want what I want when I want it! Yeah, yeah, just another spoiled Kano, I know.
I even bought some things that were pure indulgences (like that big ass box of frosted mini wheats) and I still could barely fill the cart…
….and didn’t put a dent in the cargo space of Donnie’s car. I’m going to stick to the Royal Duty Free store on base in the future I think. Much more convenient. And really, there are very few things they don’t carry that I can find at S&R. Sadly.
I had hoped to fill up my new freezer. Alas, it was not to be. Maybe next week!
Got home and walked Buddy, then took another hike to get my steps in. Started raining half way through so I came home soaked. No big deal, I would have been soaked with sweat but for the rain anyway. Then I fired up the grill.
I bought these Aussie ribeyes at the local meat market here in Barretto. I did buy some more from S&R so I can see how they compare.
Steak, potato, corn, brussel sprouts, and garlic bread. With banana pudding for dessert. Yeah, my life sucks! I marinated the meat for three days. It was better, but still a tad tougher than I like.
And that brings you up to date. Going to get in some beer drinking tonight while I can. A super typhoon is headed our way and by all accounts it’s a monster storm. Should be fun.
It’s been sunny and hot these past few days. Except when it’s not. Take Monday for instance. Great weather all day right up until it was time to Hash. And then the rains came down. The rain stopped again about 3/4 of the way through the trail, stayed clear until we finished the after Hash circle, then came pouring down again. Ah well. There’s talk of a big typhoon on the horizon so I guess I should hold my complaining until then.
Let’s get on with the Hash pictures then, shall we?
The day’s trail. Fucking Old Man was the Hare and for a guy in his 70’s he laid a surprisingly difficult course, including up and down a couple of small mountains…
And we are On-On. Those are the runners in front of me. I’m leading the pack of walkers at this point…
But not for long. Here most of the walkers have just passed me on the flat highway (that’s me with the walking stick). So much for my supposition that I could keep pace except in the hills. Oh well.
It wasn’t long before I was the only Hasher in sight. The stragglers behind me wound up bailing before we even reached the mountains.
I was missing Snake Charmer, the sweet gal who held back last week so I wouldn’t be alone on trail. I hustled as best I could until I caught up with these two on the day’s first real incline. I stuck with them the rest of the way…
As regular readers may recall, early in my Hashing career I got tangled up in some barbed wire. It had me in stitches, but it was no laughing matter. So I’m particularly wary of that particular hazard these days. On this trail there were not one, not two, but THREE fences to cross over. This one at least had been knocked down and held down with some bamboo…
Had to actually step over the second fence, but it wasn’t too high or too difficult. This time.
I didn’t bother with a photograph of the third encounter. Every time I stopped for a photo op I fell further behind these guys. And I hate being alone on trail almost as much as barbed wire.
It’s always fascinating to me how people manage to live up in the mountains with no road or easy access to conveniences most of us take for granted. Who do they think they are, Walt Whitman?
And then suddenly we popped out of the hills and into some familiar territory…Alta Vista…my own subdivision. It’s always nice knowing where you are again plus I was able to drop off my walking stick at the house. It’s a pain in the ass to lug around during the after Hash circle…
On Home was at one of my favorite venues, Treasure Island. I’ve been eating at home more these days so I haven’t been there in awhile…
It was good seeing Jessa, one of my favorite waitresses again. And this is the closest I got to an ass shot (didn’t want to be rude) but trust me, she has a fine one!
The traditional beer drinking ritual prior to doing the Hash circle. And no, I didn’t have to sit on the ice this week…
The beach view at Treasure Island….
After the circle I enjoyed some quality time with Jessa and Kat. In fact, I bought them both dinner. To be honest, I’m kinda sweet on both of them. I can’t tell if either or both like me, although they did say they want to come to my house and have me cook for them. So there’s that…
And so goes the story of another Hash. The next best thing to being there, right?
Rainy day people always seem to know when you’re feeling blue
High stepping strutters who land in the gutters sometimes need one too
Take it or leave it, or try to believe it
If you’ve been down too long
Rainy day lovers don’t hide love inside they just pass it on
No major insights on reaching this milestone. You are who you are wherever you are. I’m not going to pretend that my life here is anywhere close to perfect. It is what it is and I don’t imagine it would be particularly better had I chosen a different venue in which to spend my future. It could damn well be worse, I know that. I also know that I have the power to make this time and this place the best of all possible worlds. Happiness is a choice when everything is said and done.
I’d say I’m getting better at accepting the frustrations that come with living in a third world developing country. There is bad and good everywhere, and really the people here tend to make it all worthwhile. Watching them live happily despite crushing poverty is an inspiration. As I have been told many times, I’m one of the lucky ones. I need to stop bitching and moaning about what I don’t have and learn to embrace my good fortune. I do think I’m getting better at that as well.
Of course, my circle of acquaintances is largely the expat community. And looking around at them, well, yeah I am lucky there as well. It’s true that I may drink somewhat to excess but I sure as hell ain’t doing it at ten in the morning! I think all of us living here have to find a way to fight the inevitable boredom, the day-to-day sameness, and the lack of intellectual stimulation or other worthwhile challenges. Again, that’s on me and at least I have the resources to find and do things that make life satisfying. Honestly though, looking back on my first retirement the boredom then was palpable as well. That may be a natural state when you leave the meaning and purpose of a working life behind.
Anyway, I’m not complaining at all. Things are good and bound to get gooder.
Here’s some outtakes from a typical day in paradise:
The local electric co-op helpfully gave advance warning that there would be a scheduled power outage (aka “brownout”) today from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. so they could do line maintenance and tree trimming. I had observed the need to get those damn branches out of the wires months ago, so was happy to see they noticed too.
On my morning walk I saw the power guys working hard at the task at hand. Power went out at 0900 and was back on at 1600. Good job!
On the beach walk portion of my hike I observed this bottle. Was there a message in there for me? The secret to a happy life perhaps? Or maybe it contained an evil genie wanting to capture my soul. Decided in the end it wasn’t worth the risk…
Had a foot scrub and pedicure…
and when I got home Buddy said “she missed a spot!”
Hurricane Florence is on her way to the Carolinas. My kids are inland at Columbia, but when Hugo blew through in 1986 Columbia still suffered. Florence appears to be much stronger.
Here’s hoping the folks on the coast don’t get fucked too hard…
And finally, I guess the President must have read my rare political post yesterday:
Thanks, Don. And right back at ya!
Oh my! Look at the time. It’s beer o’clock! Photos from yesterday’s Hash will be posted tomorrow. Stay tuned!
It was a quiet drama-free weekend around here. The helper went home to Manila and coincidentally so did Marissa. At least I had my Buddy here to keep me company.
Not much else to report. All indications are that I’m a healthy old fucker. Blood pressure consistently in the low 120s. Resting heart rate is back in the high 60’s after an unexplained rise. Weight is holding steady in the mid-190’s. Averaging 19,000 steps per day so far this month.
Finances are staying in the black notwithstanding my effort at wealth redistribution in the bars. Inflation is becoming an issue for the already poor folks here, but I’m not noticing it much personally. I’m helped by a strong dollar with near record high exchange rates.
The basic staples like rice and fish have increased even more than the rate of inflation as I understand it…
I’ll be making a run out to the S&R store (think Costco) in San Fernando this week. It’s a long trip I only make once a month so I like to stock up as much as I can. I’ve regretted that I didn’t purchase a larger refrigerator/freezer as that limits my purchasing ability. I took a step to alleviate that problem:
A sweet little stand alone freezer should meet my needs nicely. Just delivered this morning so I haven’t been bothered with putting the handle on yet.
What else? Well, I really don’t do politics much these days. It seems pointless, especially on Facebook. So when I saw this, I had to laugh:
I mean, I actually say this to my computer screen several times a day. I ought to be posting it in the comments of the worst offenders I suppose, but I really can’t be bothered.
The fact that I don’t argue about politics doesn’t mean I don’t keep myself at least minimally informed on what is happening back home. It’s total insanity from what I can tell. This parody on the Kavanaugh confirmation hearings was funny as hell:
You gotta laugh. Or cry.
I’ve never been a big Trump fan. I preferred the clown option to the crook though. But two years in it is hard to argue with his many successes, especially on the economic front. I think there’s a lot more people like me who react to the over-the-top bashing (he’s Hitler don’t you know) with being dragged firmly and fully into his camp of supporters. Yeah I know, that makes me a racist.
Anyway, I’m also not a fan of those who choose to disrespect the flag and all that it stands for by taking a knee during the National Anthem. Yeah, I believe they have the freedom to do so, but they are not free from the consequences of their actions. So, the government cannot and should not arrest them (like they do in the Philippines!) but if I owned an NFL franchise I’d fire any player who refused to stand. I’d say I’m boycotting the games, but honestly I haven’t watched American football in years. And although I own a pair of Nike shoes that I’m not going to burn, I will be replacing them with something from New Balance when the time comes.
Bwahahahaha!
I thought this video offers a nice counterpoint to the one Nike paid Kaepernick to make:
Enough about politics! I live in the fucking Philippines and will watch America do it’s death dance from thousands of miles away. Thankfully!
In lieu of Friday night darts I attended the weekly Sons of Baccus (SOB) dance contest. This week the gathering was at Alaska Bar, one of my favorite venues. I was once again given the awesome responsibility to serve as a judge.
Six bars participated this week…
Hot Zone got my first place vote, the consensus of the other judges however was that Alaska had the best performance…
This gratuitous ass shot of the Hot Zone dancers is presented in response to a commenter lamenting my failure to post any Hash asses this week. Hope this is an acceptable alternative.
I didn’t play darts last night either. Got my step goal accomplished though and did a short pub crawl last night. Pretty boring to be honest.
Although the beach was nice…
Today I did some serious hiking about. Serious enough to get a blister on my big toe, something that almost never happens. I didn’t play in the Sunday afternoon dart tourney either. Not sure what I’ll do with my “free” time this evening. I did cook up a batch of burrito meat. So there’s that.
Speaking of darts, Greg did give me what felt like a sincere apology after my final Friday league performance. I was of course gracious and accepted the apology. Bottom line, I think he knows that I’m not someone he can fuck with. If and when I choose to play a competitive dart match again I don’t expect he’ll repeat his rude behavior, at least it won’t be directed at me. So there’s that.
Buddy somehow slipped his chain this afternoon and escaped (I only chain him for brief periods out back so he can get some air and pee). One of the security guys on a motorcycle helped me track him down. When he saw me he made a beeline for the house, ignoring my calls for him to come to me. That pissed me off. He’s being punished (ignored) so hopefully he learns to a. not escape, and b. come to me when I call him. I swear, this is like doing that whole parenting gig again.
And there you have it. That’s my life.
Better stand tall when they’re calling you out
Don’t bend, don’t break, baby, don’t back down
It’s my life
And it’s now or never
‘Cause I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
(It’s my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said,
“I did it my way.”
I just want to live while I’m alive
Today is everything yesterday was not. In a good way…
As I approach my fourth month of living in the Philippines I am still far from being an expert on the cultural norms of the people here. Still, I try to be observant and hopefully learn as I go. That’s as much for my own protection as anything else, but I continue to be quite fascinated by much of what I see (or at least hear about). The example I reflected on today was a concept that is not unique to the Philippines, but very much ingrained here, especially among those with higher social standing: Mistresses.
This article dealing with the history of mistresses in the Philippines was quite fascinating. The practice pre-dates the Spanish colonial period, although the Spanish overlords and Catholic church leaders (surprise, surprise) also engaged with the local ladies while ostensibly working to eradicate the “immoral” custom. And of course, so did the Americans who followed the Spanish. General Douglas MacArthur, who is still revered here, had a mistress as did some of the American governors.
Anyway, during my brief time here I’ve met two guys (both Kanos as Americans are called) who have mistresses. The first is “J”. He’s been an expat living here for well over a decade and was a frequent visitor to the PI before making the move. He told me his story over beers one night, and it is quite the tale.
J has a Filipina wife and from the way he speaks about her, he adores her very much. A few years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer (he felt the lump one night while squeezing her boobs) and he took her to Thailand (where by most accounts medical care is better) for treatment. It appears they caught the cancer and removed it in time, but the drugs she is required to take have caused her to lose her desire for sex. So she and J have a deal: he can have a mistress on the side provided the wife and her social circle are never exposed to it. That’s no easy trick in a small town like Barreto!
J’s mistress, “T”, is around 25 years old and is a college student. J is in his late 60s, but honestly that age gap is just not unusual here at all. I’ve met her through darts and she is a very sweet gal. When you see them together you would just assume they are a normal happy boyfriend/girlfriend couple. It appears to me they adore each other. J pays her rent and tuition and even helps support her family. In return, he gets sex when he wants it and a comfortable GFE (girlfriend experience) the rest of the time. From my perspective this seems like a win-win-win for J, his wife, and T. I guess in the USA J would be considered a sugar daddy, but it seems deeper than that to me.
J has told me that once T finishes school he will set her free so she can pursue her dreams to have a successful career and to be a mother. What I admire about this arrangement is that J has given this young woman the opportunity to escape the poverty of the working poor here and to potentially live a middle class lifestyle with all the perks that go along with that status. Making a genuine difference, one life at a time!
I learned about the other guy with a mistress at last week’s Hash, where both participants are members. I had seen them together often, but had no idea they were not a traditional couple. And what really surprised me was how open and upfront they both were as they discussed their arrangement. No shame whatsoever, just a perfectly natural and mutually beneficial relationship. FOM is like me a retired civil servant, although he is at least ten years older than me. WW is I’d guess mid-40s and still very attractive. In fact, when I did my first Hash with the Subic group back in January, I thought to myself, “wow, I hope I can find a woman like that!”. To which the evil voice in my head responded “that old fucker can’t have that many miles left in him!”
I don’t know a whole lot about how their deal works. WW self-identifies as FOM’s mistress. He apparently gives her financial support and I suppose she takes care of whatever needs he might have. They also seem to be quite fond of each other. What struck me as weird was that FOM does not have a wife, but WW does have a Filipino husband! And apparently the husband is fully aware of the arrangement. According to FOM, the husband is not jealous of him (he’s the meal ticket after all) but does get crazy jealous if he thinks WW is flirting with other men. I’ve never experienced a level of poverty that would make me okay with letting my wife be a mistress, but I guess desperate times call for desperate measures.
As a footnote to the FOM/WW relationship, WW’s early 20’s daughter is also in the Hash. Before I knew who her mother was I had entertained the idea of maybe hooking up with her. I came really close a couple of times, but something just set off alarm bells for me. I won’t go so far as to call her a scammer, but she does seem to be quite mercenary. Once she figured out I wasn’t taking the bait, she moved onto another victim Hasher. I hope it works out well for them. I guess she hopes to follow in her mother’s footsteps.
So here’s the bottom line for me on this whole mistress thing. Yes, it’s a long standing tradition in this country and is at least marginally socially acceptable. But adultery in the Philippines is a criminal offense. I’m not sure how those two facts coexist, although my understanding is that an offended spouse has to press charges, the police will not get involved independently. Regardless, I’m in the mode of trying to avoid any action that could potentially land me in the nightmare of Filipino jail. I know I would not survive long in that environment. So, yours truly will not be taking on a mistress no matter how desperate I may become.
Well, this post went on longer than I intended. I’ve got some other tidbits to share, but they can wait until tomorrow. I need to get Buddy his afternoon walk and prepare myself for a non-darting Saturday night.
The Candyman is coming to town bringing sweetness and joy to the hardworking bargirls. Hey, somebody has to do it!
I’m changing, arranging
I’m changing, I’m changing everything
Ah, everything around me
The world is a bad place
A sad place, a terrible place to live
Oh, but I don’t wanna die
All my sorrow
Sad tomorrow
Take me back to my old home
All my crying (all my crying)
Feel I’m dying, dying
Take me back to my old home
All my sorrow (all my sorrow)
Sad tomorrow
Take me back (take me back) to my old home
Greetings Earthlings. A rainy day here in the lovely Philippines. That’s newsworthy only because we actually had a solid week of glorious sunshine. I’d convinced myself that rainy season had ended early. Oh well, this too shall pass!
In the Facebook memories feature I was reminded of this photo taken three years ago:
Shocking to see just how fat I truly was. Well, that’s married life for you I guess…
Just for shits and giggles I posed for a similar shot yesterday:
I’m not the man I used to be, that’s for sure. Heh, I guess that’s the difference between being married and single…
As you can see in the photo above, my Buddy was in a playful mood. He loves to gnaw on stuff, like my shoes. He usually does it when I’m not wearing them though. I’ve been giving him a combination of tough love and chew toys to save my shoes. He’s pretty smart, he’ll figure it out soon. I hope.
Buddy says “that’s not funny!”
And last but certainly not least, a very Happy Birthday to my first born daughter, Renee Bonnie.
Hard to believe she is 43 now. Especially given the fact that her father is only 30. Yes, that is how I self identify. Don’t be an ageism bigot!
If the rain comes
They run and hide their heads
They might as well be dead
If the rain comes
If the rain comes
When the sun shines
They slip into the shade
And sip their lemonade
When the sun shines
When the sun shines
Rain, I don’t mind
Shine, the weather’s fine
I can show you
That when it starts to rain
Everything’s the same
I can show you
I can show you
Rain, I don’t mind
Shine, the weather’s fine
Can you hear me
That when it rains and shines
It’s just a state of mind
Can you hear me
Can you hear me
There’s this guy. Name is Greg. Alright dude I suppose when he’s sober, but that is rarely the case. The more he drinks the louder and more obnoxious he becomes. It’s actually pretty annoying but I’ve chosen to ignore his unseemly behavior, deeming it none of my business since none of his rudeness has ever been directed towards me.
Until Tuesday night that is. And yes, sadly this is another case of the dreaded “darts drama”. Some people just can’t help themselves it seems. But it was especially disappointing in the case of Greg who is one of the top dart players in town. I’ve been actively trying to recapture some of my passion for the game, although for me I’m playing as a pastime, win or lose I try to keep it fun. Greg is pretty much the opposite, he gets mouthy and pissy if he is playing poorly.
I didn’t know Greg prior to moving here, although we did share time in Korea. He played in the Songtan league. We do have a mutual friend, a bar owner there named Vox. When I mentioned to Vox on Facebook that I met Greg, he sent me a message warning me that Greg was not to be trusted. Well, to me he is just another guy in the bar, and there are very few people in the bar that I would inherently trust. Some I like better than others, but trust is earned and I haven’t been here long enough to really trust anyone.
Anyway, Tuesday night we are playing in the semi-finals. Greg and his partner won the 501 leg, and we moved on to the cricket match. My first dart was a triple 20 to close, I threw the second dart at the 19 and missed, so went back up to the 20 for points. Greg then commenced to get all mouthy and said throwing points was “totally uncalled for”. Um, the game is called cricket points for a reason. Strategically, I made the smart throw. His rudely calling me out really pissed me off. After the game (which he won) I let him know in my loud voice how I felt. His lame excuse was that he had been “kidding”. Bullshit.
Anyway, Marissa tried to calm me down and then my pal Jerry came over and reminded me not to lower myself to Greg’s level. Yeah, that resonated so I let it go.
But thinking about it overnight I realized that I was devoting way too much time to darts and not really enjoying myself. Greg’s behavior was the catalyst to my realization that I should be finding better ways to fill the hours. So, I told my Wednesday dart league captain that this would be my last season. Greg is the captain of my Friday league team, and if last night is any indication he is not talking to me. Which suits me fine. I don’t want to let my Friday teammates down so I will play out the season if they need me. That’s up to Greg.
After the season I’m taking a break from darts. Oh I might play in an occasional tournament if the mood strikes me, but this five day a week routine is going to change. Probably time for me to focus on doing some local travel and exploring more of this country I call home. Also might be good for me to spend less time in Alley Cats bar.
Speaking of which, Marissa came out on her day off to watch me throw in league yesterday. When the match was finished, I told her I was hungry. She said she had already eaten. I finished my beer and said I needed to go eat. She told me, “you go, I’ll wait here”. Alrighty then, girlfriend. I paid my tab, said goodnight, and left the bar.
I was sitting at Cheap Charlies in a sour mood, drinking beers and waiting for my BLT sandwich to arrive. Marissa sent me a message asking “Are you mad?”. I responded along the lines of “why would I be mad? I said it hurts that my girlfriend couldn’t be bothered to spend time with me on her day off, preferring to sit alone at Alley Cats>” And then of course she got all defensive. We went back and forth for awhile, and she honestly just doesn’t get why it was a big deal to me. After I finished eating I went back to the bar to continue the discussion and hopefully find some resolution. She kept telling me to lower my voice, although I didn’t feel like I was being all that loud. Finally she insisted we go somewhere else to continue the conversation.
I did calm down, said my piece, tried to understand her side of it (I still don’t, you either want to be with me or you don’t. I shouldn’t have to ask, insist, or beg you to join me). Anyway, I don’t know where we go from here. This article says that “on-again, off-again relationships are more trouble than they’re worth”. I’m not sure that Marissa and I are technically on-again/off-again. She calls them fights. I’ve never technically broken up with her, although I’ve come close to doing so. Ultimately that may be where this goes unless she can miraculously figure out what it takes to satisfy my longing for a loving companion.
As if I didn’t have enough drama in my life, I came home Tuesday night to a message from Maria (my “friend” in Davao) telling me she was unfriending me in Facebook but that she was still my friend. What do you say to that? I said “goodbye Maria”.
The back story is that she has met a 71 year old retired Navy guy and that I somehow make him feel threatened. I’d chatted with him a couple of times on messenger, answering his questions about the the Subic area and assuring him that Maria is a good and honest woman. And then a few days ago I get this insane message from him ranting about how he knows I’m Maria’s fuck buddy and crazy ass shit like that. As I had told him, I haven’t even seen Maria in person for over two years.
Anyway, I shared that message with Maria and warned her that the guy had demonstrated that he was a jealous control freak, potentially abusive, and things were unlikely to end well. She indicated she had already figured all that out and that she had blocked all contact with him. I guess until she didn’t. He had recently insisted that she end her Facebook friendship with me and that is what she did.
I’m fine with it. Hell, anyone who doesn’t want to be friends with me, on Facebook or in real life, is more than welcome to walk away. Just like the women who professed to love me forever and ever. I’ve helped Maria out of several situations since we last met and she always called me her guardian angel. I guess she has a new angel now. I hope that works out for her, although I expect she is headed for trouble. Not my problem, that’s for sure.
Is that about enough drama for one week? I sure as hell hope so!
Successfully completed another Hash yesterday. Had decent weather for a change which allowed the Hares to incorporate some mountain climbs into the trail. We were presented with two options, a 7K with a steep climb or a “less challenging” 5K march. Now, I’d normally opt for the longer trail but the Hare warned that the steps to the top of the high mountain were very slippery. I just wasn’t in the mood for an afternoon of slips, trips, and falls.
Additionally, I had already walked 20,000 steps on the day and was starting out weary. I won’t make that mistake again. I also noted that most of the walkers were doing the shorter trail and I wasn’t inclined to get left behind on the long trail again. So I did less challenging which proved plenty challenging enough.
Loaded up in the Hashmobile and ready to roll…
And we are On-On!
Through a neighborhood…
Over the creek on a rickety bridge…was glad I was not carrying around those extra pounds from years gone by…
Up and down some hills….
Back to village life…
The hardest part of this schoolgirl’s day is getting back home.
One final climb…
But the views were with it…
Ah, looking down on my hometown…
I have to give a shout out to fellow Hasher “snake charmer”. As usual I fell behind the group but she hung back so I wouldn’t be on trail alone. I thanked her for it and she said she always does that for newbies and people like me (which I took as a polite way way to say old fuckers). She’s been Hashing for four years now and is real good at following the trail markings. As I admired her lovely ass we walked along I couldn’t help but think how I’d love to have a girlfriend like her to Hash with. Alas, her significant other also Hashes (he was on the long trail yesterday). At least I know what I’m looking for!
It’s been quite awhile since I’ve logged a 30,000 step day…
A pretty nice after Hash at Midnight Rambler. A couple of interesting conversations that I’ll perhaps blog about later this week. As for now, my Buddy wants to go for a walk…
I’ve hit a new low. 193 pounds. Pretty surprising really because I’ve not been disciplined in my dietary practices lately. Not complaining though.
I cooked up some pulled pork in the crockpot yesterday. Was very pleased that the meat came out tender and flavorful. Served it up with cobbed corn and cornbread (see what I mean about the diet?). This morning I took some of the leftovers and made this:
A pulled pork breakfast burrito! Man, it was tasty. Not sure why I haven’t tried that before. Well, I haven’t kept tortillas on hand since I went on my low carb routine. But these days, I eat pretty much as I please (as long as I stay under the 200 pound threshold).
My buddy keeps an eye on things around the house…
And gives me some company when no one else will…
The weather has been much improved. Other than a couple of thundershowers it’s been sunny and warm. Eh, it’s been hot. Too soon to complain about that though!
Another beautiful morning in the neighborhood.
I’ve not been as disciplined with my walking as I should be either. For example, these past three days my step counts were 9,000, 27,000, and 12,000. My minimum daily goal is 15,000. So I guess I’m averaging that, but… I’m already over 20,000 today and still have the Hash to do this afternoon. I think part of the problem is I’m pretty much bored with my usual walking routines. There’s some nice trails up in the mountains, but I’m just not comfortable walking them alone. Way too much could go wrong. I’ll find some ways to change things up, probably incorporate the old Navy base into the mix.
Walk on!
Coming up on four months in country and I’m running out of the prescription meds I brought along with me. So far I’ve been lucky enough at my local pharmacy in getting refills. Haven’t even needed a prescription. No one seems to to stock my Advair Diskus though; it’s an inhaler for my COPD. Hopefully, I can find a similar product. The pharmacist offered up something for asthma today, but I’m going to wait until I can discuss it with an actual doctor.
And that is where things stand on this mundane Monday.
I hear some people
been talkin’ me down,
Bring up my name,
pass it ’round.
They don’t mention
happy times
They do their thing,
I’ll do mine.
Ooh baby,
that’s hard to change
I can’t tell them
how to feel.
Some get stoned,
some get strange,
But sooner or later
it all gets real.
She was a friend to me when I needed one
Wasn’t for her I don’t know what I’d done
She gave me back something that was missing in me
She could of turned out to be almost anyone
Almost anyone…
With the possible exception
Of who I wanted her to be
Talk about celestial bodies
And your angels on the wing
She wasn’t much good at stickin’ around…but
That girl could sing…
Ah, I hope you will indulge me as I engage in a little Sunday morning introspection.
Woke up alone which is of course sadly normal for me. Then I walked alone…
…on the beach.
And ate breakfast alone…
…probably the best French toast in town at Mango’s…
And all that alone time gave me the chance to reflect on the sorry state of my love life. I don’t always go there, but Facebook “triggered” me by sharing a memory from two years ago.
The lovely Eun Oke traveled with me to Barretto back then…
We had a fine ocean view room at the Arizona resort….
…and a really fantastic time in the bars. The bargirls loved her and she enjoyed having me buy them drinks. Good times!
Anyway, I’m not going to recount the disaster that resulted from that relationship. Suffice to say I allowed myself to love someone for the first time since having my heart and soul crushed by the wife. Eun Oke left me embittered and cynical and unwilling (or perhaps unable) to open myself up to love again.
So Loraine became my brand new plan.
I’d just hire someone to take care of me. No risk in that, right?
Regular readers know how that turned out for me. Honestly, I’m still reeling from the aftershocks. I’m living the life here alone that I expected to share with her. That’s not always easy.
Which has led me now to this particular moment in time and my tentative first steps in starting a new relationship. Marissa, what am I going to do about you?
Things are always just a little out of kilter it seems…
I think Marissa is a good woman with a good heart. So, what’s the problem? She just doesn’t meet my needs. We have little in common (she doesn’t like to walk!). She’s not open and expressive with her feelings. And she works in a bar. Other than those things she is pretty much perfect.
And of course I’m being very unfair here. I do think she cares but she doesn’t do the little things to show it. And that’s really my being needy and wanting constant reassurance that I matter. And that is just not in her nature to do. I think she is perhaps making more of an effort in that regard, but again, I can’t expect her to be something that she is not.
The working in a bar thing is a bigger issue for me than I expected it would be. My first girlfriend in Korea was a bargirl and I don’t recall being bothered by other men buying her drinks. Hey, it meant I didn’t have to. This situation feels different somehow now. Again, that’s probably more a reflection of my insecurity and vulnerability than anything she is doing. We have talked about it at length. I respect that customer bought drinks is how she pays the rent. I admire her tenacity and independence as she makes her way through life. I have no reason to think these customers mean anything other than a way to make money (just to be clear, I’m talking drinks only, there is no “take out” available at Alley Cats).
Her ex-boyfriend took her out of the bar. Paid her a 10,000 peso per month “allowance” in lieu of working. That’s only $200. I could easily do that. The problem I have with it though is that it is too much like the “buying a girlfriend” thing I tried with Loraine. I don’t want Marissa to be with me out of a sense of obligation or financial need. I want her to be with me only when and if that is where she most wants to be. If I give her money I could never be sure.
So, that’s my dilemma. And yes, the easy course of action is to just let her go and move on to the next big thing. I may wind up doing that at some point. But for now at least I find her to be, well, it sounds crass and selfish, but she’s better than nothing. I’ve had way too much of nothing and I’m not quite ready to throw in the towel and go back to that.
So, we shall see what the future brings.
The longer I thought I could find her
The shorter my vision became
Running in circles behind her
And thinking in terms of the blame
But she couldn’t have been any kinder
If she’d come back and tried to explain
She wasn’t much good at saying goodbye…but
That girl was sane
Welcome to the brr months. At least that is what my breakfast waitress said to me. I gave her a quizzical look and she said “you know, SeptemBER, OctoBER…” I don’t know if that is just a Filipino saying or not. I’ve never heard it put that way until now, and my domestic helper also mentioned it this afternoon. It must be a thing.
What else?
There was a drunken moon the other night. Or I was drunk when I took this photo. One of those…
Facebook reminded me of the two year anniversary of the purchase of my last tailor made suit.
Damn dapper, ain’t I? Ha! It’s going on 4 months now since I put on a soul choker necktie. Don’t miss it a bit…
The work I had done on the house is now completed. Awnings over the entrances, interior paint, ceiling fans, etc. All for less than two grand. Who spends that kind of money on a rental? Why, I do of course. I plan to live here for the duration so it may as well be set up the way I like it, right?
Front door awning…
…kitchen door awning…
…back door awning.
I also had shelves put up in the kitchen here…
…and here. I have no clue why kitchen cabinets weren’t part of the original construction.
The only addition to the living room (besides paint) was the ceiling fan. Put one in my office area and the MBR as well.
Speaking of the office area, here it is. No actual work is performed here of course…
And upstairs in the master bath is this water heater that works like a charm (provided I have water of course!)
And whenever I need to stroll down memory lane I can now enjoy the parting words of my old co-workers and photos from my previous life as an employed person.
I can also feed my ego with the trinkets of recognition I earned over the years.
I have a special wall for my award from the Seoul International Dart League…
…which is right next door to my brand new dart board! Now if I can only find the motivation to practice. I do have one less excuse now!
Today I enjoyed lunch at the Blue Rock Resort, a place full of memories for me. Happy times with a lost love, you know the drill.
I had the Hawaiian pork chops and they didn’t disappoint…
My date had the Presidential Prawns. She said they were also good.
My date? Marissa. We continued our working through the issues that seem to destine us for failure. Will it ever work? I honestly have my doubts, but I do appreciate that she cares enough to try. So there’s that.
Darts tonight at Alley Cats and then we’ll see what else is cooking in the Barrio on a Saturday night.
And that concludes today’s update from my life in paradise. Stay tuned for the next episode right here at LTG!
Didn’t walk this morning. Had a grocery shopping excursion on the old Navy base instead. Took a nap when I got home. So less than 10,000 steps on the day. Oh well.
Dart league this afternoon. Didn’t play well and we lost 7-6. Oh hell.
Played in the Friday night tourney at Alley Cats and did much better, 1st Place better. Oh yeah!
Nice night ended on a sour note as I had a blowup with Marissa. We talked our way through it so maybe that is progress. We’ll see.
Life is full of surprises. Things happen when you least expect them. Take yesterday for instance.
The day started out pretty much like every other day of my life. Got up, did my internet rituals, took a hike, had some breakfast, walked the dog.
Early in the afternoon I fired up the grill.
Bought these ribeyes at Bretto’s in Barretto. From Australia. Will they be tender?
I cooked them a little rarer than I usually do and they were in fact easier to chew than the first batch I grilled a couple of weeks ago.
After my meal it was off to the VFW for dart league. It was a challenging match but we ultimately prevailed 8-5. I was able to win all my games, including a tough cricket game against Cristy, one of the top players in town. She throws a little better than me, but my cricket strategy was stronger. Which sometimes makes all the difference and is one of the reasons cricket is my favorite darts game.
Anyway my team captain, Anabel, told me that Dean, the owner of our sponsor Alley Cats bar, wanted to see me after we completed the match. What about? Anabel said she didn’t know. Hmm, I’m sure I paid my tab and I didn’t recall being any more offensive than normal. Oh well, I told her I’d be happy visit Alley Cats that afternoon. Right after dart league Anabel insisted.
So with dart business completed I walked on over to Alley Cats, opened the door, and found this staring me in the face:
The candle was lit and a chorus of voices shouted out Surprise! Happy Birthday!
Well, how about that? Of course, it was a belated birthday gathering. On Monday I did the Hash. On Tuesday as I mentioned in an earlier post, another guy did his birthday party at Alley Cats. So I guess it was my turn on Wednesday.
Ain’t that sweet?
Some of the perpetrators…
“Is this my present?”
Nah, it’s on again, off again Marissa. I guess we were on again, at least for last night.
Cutting the cake which is preferable to me cutting the cheese. *ahem*
Ester likes to lick off the frosting first….
So I had a good time. And it felt nice to feel that I was amongst people who do enjoy my company. Perhaps I’m on the right path after all.
Will wonders never cease? The sun is shining for the second day in a row! And “all the things” are good and right in the world…
“you’re my blue skies, you’re my sunny day….”
I took advantage of the sunshine yesterday to take a walk I’ve been contemplating since I first arrived in Barretto. Hiking along the National Highway to the Kalaklan Gate at the old Navy base. I’ve hesitated about doing so because it seemed it might be dangerous given the heavy traffic, generally poor Filipino driving skills including disrespect for pedestrians, and a lack of shoulder in places. But I’m getting bored with limited walking choices here in town so I said “fuck it, I’m going to walk to the base!”. And off I went. (spoiler alert: I survived. Hence, I am able to post some photos of the adventure)
This is the highway right outside Barretto proper. It’s quite a scenic walk actually.
Must be nice to live next to a waterfall. Except maybe when it’s not.
The shoulder was actually almost non-existent in places and so for obvious reasons I didn’t stand there to take a photo. Also, I discovered that the white line DOES NOT prevent vehicles from encroaching on my rightful place to walk…
Still, in a worse case scenario I suppose my burial would have been convenient.
The hike also afforded some new perspectives on the beauty of Subic Bay…
All told it was about two hours to the gate and back.
Will I make the hike again? Perhaps. It did get a little dicey in places and I’m not sure risking life and limb is the smartest course of action. Glad I crossed this off my bucket list at least. I think I’ll incorporate some variety in my walks by taking a Jeepney to the base and then walking on the comparatively wide and well maintained streets there. We’ll see.
Last night after darts I joined in a birthday celebration for one of my fellow darters. I was actually surprised he sprang to the full lechon feast. It’s the national dish of the Philippines doncha know?
It’s one of my favorite traditional foods here. Similar to pulled pork (and I’ve had it where everyone is literally pulling the meat of with their fingers and eating it) without the sauce. Lots of folks really go for the crispy skin as well.
Nothing to lose your head over though. Unless you are the pig.
Anyway, the day ended better than it began and that’s about the best you can hope for I suppose.
