Scout’s honor

I’ll be one of the Hares for Monday’s Hash, along with Scott and Jim. So we took the Wednesday Walkers along on a little trail scouting expedition yesterday. We are starting out from the Waltermart on the far side of Subic town, climbing a mountain, then working our way back down to the On-Home venue in Calapadayan. Going to be around 6K once it is done. Of course, one of the aspects of scouting is finding the best way to go and we had a couple of detours and dead ends along the way. Jim is going back out on Friday to work out the kinks and then we will mark the Hash trail on Monday morning.

What I especially like about this trail is that we rarely Hash this far out, so the experience will be new for most of the Hashers. I know I enjoyed seeing some different views as we worked our way up and over the mountain. Here’s what the area looks like:

The trail so far. That area in the upper left is a HUGE subdivision of moderately priced duplexes that are starter homes for many Filipinos.
We took the bus from Barretto to Subic town. It works like a Jeepney–just flag them down, pay your fare (15 pesos/30 cents), and ride in relative comfort.
Gathering on the highway…
…and we are on our way!
Over the river…
…and through the backstreets and alleyways of Subic.
I don’t predict a happy future for these pups.
Off in the distance is Fiesta Homes, the subdivision I mentioned
Another view of Fiesta Homes.
Let the climbing begin.
In the jungle.
That would be me bringing up the rear. As usual.
A view from on high.
A group shot on trail.
Rural living.
Scott’s been Hashing here since 2005 so it is not unusual for him to run into people he knows. But on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere was still pretty shocking.
A resting development.
Heading back down.
Almost there.
The trail was a little overgrown in places.
Passing through a friendly village…
And then back over the river.
Took a Jeepney back to Barretto and had it drop us off at the Kitchenette.
Cold beer and what’s that–chicken nuggets? Wow!

Another good day on trail. Should be a good Hash on Monday.

Under water

That’s how it felt on yesterday’s Hash. What started out as a few sprinkles turned into a deluge that went on and on and on. The hardest rainfall I can recall hiking in. The downpour lasted for the first half of the trail we took, and it was a steady, but lighter rain, the rest of the way. It did stop prior to the after Hash On-Home activities, so there is that at least.

My “sane” group of Hashers actually took a longcut at the beginning–walking the 2K or so to the trail start rather than ride in the back of the Hashmobile. We had a map of what the Hare had prepared, and we planned to do one or two of the hill climbs he had laid out. Of course, the rain washed those plans away. Along with nearly all of the trail markings. Chalk and powder just don’t stand up to torrential rain. When we reached the designated start point you could barely make out a faint chalk arrow. The Hare, Leech My Nuggets, is one of the best at marking a trail. So we knew then there was no trail left to follow. We were already soaked to the skin anyway, so we just continued on and found our own path. Wound up doing 6K which was a challenge given the conditions. All the Hashers who rode out in the truck pretty much just turned around and walked back when they couldn’t find the intended trail. Oh well, just one of those days.

Given the wet weather, I had to keep my phone bagged up in plastic as did the other photo takers. Pubic Head got a few at least:

In the beginning.
We weren’t going to be cowed by the rain.
The official starting point of the trail. Not much left to follow though…
Kids out playing in the rain got rewarded with some cookies…
Shelter from the storm.
On-Home at Smoke and Bottles in Subic.
Rumor has it that Subic has imposed a ban on alcohol.
Keeping things in balance.
Hashers on ice, rain or shine.
Cum In My Basement and me stopped in a Jollibee for some grub after the Hash.

And that’s the way it was. I guess I should just count my blessings.

More to come tomorrow.

Seems like old times

Monday’s Hash was a real throwback for me. I actually enjoyed the trail and didn’t even find it necessary to shortcut. The best thing was not dragging ass, breathless and light-headed, during the hike. Maybe taking the day off on Sunday was not such a bad thing after all. The trail was only 6K, but it had two climbs of moderate difficulty. What I liked best though was a good portion of the trail was first-time territory for me. It’s good to see something new for a change. Let’s do the photos, shall we?

Demolition Derby was the Hare and did a great job–well marked and challenging without being crazy hard or dangerous.
The first up was not new, it was the “road” leading to Kalaklan Ridge. I’m not sure this photo really captures what’s going on here. Apparently, people just dump their garbage upstream and it washes on down. So the garbage and dirt are irrevocably joined together in a filthy mess.
The sane group of Hashers was greatly reduced in number for this hike. We took a Jeepney to the trailhead at the Ocean View Resort. I hung back with ISD (Steve) who was recovering from something or other and moving slower than usual.
A view of Olongapo City from the ridgeline…
And the thatch grass is in full bloom.
On-On!
I’ve never been here before…I like it!
This way to the second climb!
Made it to the top!
Poor Steve was really struggling after the second climb. I don’t like to stop even when I’m tired because I stiffen up. But Steve needed to sit and catch his breath some and the sane Hashers have got to stick together!
An estate on the mountain.
One way we crossed the stream…
…and another.
More like purgatory.
More like purgatory.
Waiting for Steve…
Candy and cookies for the kiddies…
Getting back to the roots on this trail.
The final slog…
Then On-Home at Blue Butterfly…
Engaging in the delicate process of rehydration.

A chance to Relive the hike if you’d like:

It was a good day for feeling good on trail. I was the last one back (again) but I don’t care. I was too busy enjoying myself to be in a hurry.

That’s the way I roll.

And that’s the skinny on this week’s Hash post.

I hope it wasn’t too long.

These are the good old days

Or so I keep telling myself. Actually, reminding myself is more accurate. I’ve wasted time in the past not enjoying the blessings that surrounded me, instead only focusing on my regrets. My last year in Korea is a prime example of that blind ignorance. Well, no more and never again is my attitude now. Each new day is the best day I have and I’m not going to fritter it away worrying about shit that is beyond my control anyway. I know I’ve said it before but it bears repeating–how can I not love this life I’m living? Just walking the dogs and seeing the mountains fills me with contentment. This morning I recalled telling someone about why I liked living in Columbia, SC–two hours from the mountains and two hours from the beach. He responded, “why not pick what you like best and live there instead of being two hours away?” These days, I have both right outside my door.

I treated myself to lunch at Mango’s today and enjoyed this view.

Well, to be more accurate, I treated myself and a lady friend to lunch at Mango’s today. She’s someone I’ve been acquainted with for a while and wouldn’t mind getting to know better. She’s been going through a transition from bartending to factory work on the old Navy base. She’s asked for some financial assistance to pay for medical and other requirements. A little here and a little there and now we are up to 10,000 pesos ($200.) I’ve been unresponsive to recent hints that she wants/needs more. Until last night when she sent me a message saying “Can I pawn myself to you? HaHa!” That was a new concept to me, but I answered “Yes, friends with benefits”. She did another “ha ha” in response to that. She came back with “how much you pay to pawn me?” Well, I was busy drinking at the Hash and never got around to responding.

This morning she sends this message: “Sorry for what I told you last night…hehehe. I’m crazy…mental block.” I told her not to be sorry and that I was trying to figure out how to afford her. She laughed again and said, “you know my priority now–just tell me.” I responded that I was ready if she was willing. “Of course” was her reply. So, I invited her to lunch and she agreed to meet me at noon. Exciting times, eh?

Well, not so much. She didn’t arrive until 12:45 and said she wasn’t hungry. She also advised she had a medical test to do back in Olongapo at 2:00. What the hell? Why accept a lunch date, come late and not want to eat, and then have to leave in less than an hour? This wasn’t going well. I ordered a salad and she wound up getting some lumpia, ate a couple of bites, and took the rest to go. Alright then, down to business. “Tell me about what is involved in being pawned to me?” She laughed nervously and said “that was just a joke. Did you really take me seriously?” Um, we are here, aren’t we? Okay, it was all a misunderstanding. My bad. Paid the bill, gave her 20 pesos for Jeepney fare, and said our goodbyes. Man, that’s about as close to breaking Rule #1 (don’t be a sucker) as it comes.

The icing on the cake was getting back home and having the gal who stood me up for a massage yesterday messaging me. Seems her nephew was in an accident, that was why she couldn’t come as scheduled. I wished him well. Then she came back and wanted to “borrow” 1000 pesos for medicine. I’d had enough of this bullshit by then, so I just said “let’s boom-boom instead. 3000 pesos and keep the 1000 you already owe me.” Well, that shut her up. No response at all. Guess the “emergency” wasn’t as critical as she led me to believe.

And yes, I know I’m the asshole in all of this. In my defense, I can only say that the constant begging has just exhausted my reservoir of goodwill. If you’ve got nothing to give, neither do I.

Anyway, back to my original point. I’m living my best life. I’m making the rules that suit me. If you don’t like my terms and conditions, don’t ask for my help. I have no bad feelings towards anyone regarding their choice. And I am still spending my charity budget every month with no expectations of anything in return. I’m just feeling no guilt about not giving handouts to predators.

Well, damn. I had intended this to be a prelude to my weekly Hash report. It was a good trail and I felt better than I have while hiking in quite some time. Did the whole trail too, if you can imagine that. But my ramblings above have run out the clock and now I must prepare for the dart tournament. Tomorrow will be a “pure” Hash post with plenty of pictures. Promise!

In the meanwhile, thank you for your indulgence. Who else am I going to tell about these shenanigans?

And tomorrow we might not be together
I’m no prophet, no I don’t know nature’s way
So I’ll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here, ’cause these are the good old days.

My personal Hash

As I mentioned yesterday, I decided to forego the sanctioned Hash trail and make a hike more in keeping with my preferences. The “sane” group I normally shortcut with made the trip out to Olongapo and did the first portion of the Hare’s trail. I opted out of doing that as well. I wasn’t alone out in the wild though–two of the female Hashers followed my lead and joined me. “Followed” might be an overstatement since both of them walk faster than I do, but they paused at intersections and stayed within earshot, so it worked out fine. You know, I also use the term “shortcut” loosely. For example, my trail was considerably longer than the official trail. When I shortcut I’m avoiding climbs and descents that I consider too difficult and dangerous. Although yesterday I was never on any portion of Guenter’s trail, I also climbed up Kalaklan ridge, just from a different location. Came down my own way too. I was in the general vicinity though.

Almost 10K, including a long climb up to the ridgeline.
No thank you, neighbor.  I won't be riding in the Hashmobile today.
No thank you, neighbor. I won’t be riding in the Hashmobile today.
The first 3K or so were along the National highway.
Then we turned off the highway onto this “road” and began our slow, but steady, climb to the top.
Oh, and when I say we, I’m referring to my fellow hikers, Salty Cum, and Cum In My Basement.
It’s not so steep, but a long journey up. There is no easy way to the top of Kalaklan, but this way is perhaps the least difficult.
There were some really bad places on the road, but mostly it was like this.
Still trudging upward.
A bay view along the way.
And Olongapo City from on high.
Leaving the road and heading for the way back down to Barretto.
An action shot. Hiking is pretty damn exciting, isn’t it?
A creek in the woods. Just upstream from here the locals get their water. Saw several carrying 2 large-capacity containers tied to the ends of a board and bringing them down the trail on their shoulders. Damn, what a life!
Our destination, Barrio Barretto, is in sight!
Cookie stop. Oh, and in the background are the type of water containers I was talking about.
A final descent through this village.
Then back on the mean streets of Barretto.
On Home was at Queen Victoria, but they don’t have a kitchen. I satiated my hunger with some take-out fish and chips from this shop across the street.

Some beer refreshments and then the Hash circle commenced. I wasn’t surprised when I was called down to sit on the ice and enjoy some birthday cake in the Hash tradition.

It is not as pleasant as it looks.
Trust me on that.

Relive the hike here if you like:

Anyway, I missed the camaraderie of the Hash trail, but have no regrets about exercising prudence and doing it my way.

Strike that

Today is once again Hash Monday. I’m not going to do the trail though. Not even going to try. I have my reasons.

Strike One–It’s a long-ass ride to Olongapo in the uncomfortable and unsafe Hashmobile. Alternatively, you can take a Jeepney, but that involves a transfer to a different Jeep in Olongapo. Too much of a pain in the ass for me.
Strike two–Vienna Sausage (Guenter) is the Hare. His trails are not conducive to my continued good health. I’m not being critical, the Hare has the discretion to make the Hash trail as difficult or as easy as he chooses. Just as I have the right to decline to participate in a Hash that puts me in danger. I’ve not totally boycotted Vienna’s trails–I’ll generally do the sane parts and shortcut the rest. The start in Olongapo makes shortcutting more difficult because it is unfamiliar territory.
Strike three–Vienna posted this picture of the scouting expedition for the trail. Climbing that hill is not in my future.

Three strikes and I’m out. I’ll be doing my own hike this afternoon and will attend the On-Home activities afterward at Queen Victoria.

Not sure where I’ll hike today, but yesterday I took a Jeepney to Subic town and did a 9K walk back home from there.

I must be feeling my age. That’s only 4.5 kilometers per hour on mostly flat ground. I did take a few pics along the way, but still, that’s slow.

You can Relive the hike here:

https://www.relive.cc/view/v8qVp35de7O
A Subic street scene.
A Subic street scene.
The name of this place had an oddly familiar ring to it in a not quite right kinda way…
A road…
…a river…
…and a mountain.

I’ll probably go in the opposite direction today and see what there is to see.

A hard truth about dating, although I guess it cuts both ways.

Of course, the woman currently professing her love for me is NOT single. Should I change my luck?

Well, damn. So much for that idea.

I’m sure there will be new and better adventures to come. Or should I say train wrecks?

Time fades away

Welp, yesterday got away from me, that’s for sure. What is normally my “lazy Tuesday” was so full I didn’t have time for a nap or a post here. Sorry about that. I’ll do a post later this afternoon about what was keeping me so busy.

I did want to slap up the photos from Monday’s Hash for those of you who enjoy the scenery in these parts. It was actually a very nice trail, at least the part I did. Familiar territory, but an area I enjoy hiking. Here you go:

Our Hares, Anal Receptive, and his gal, Anal Intruder.
The path they laid.
Waiting to get started.
We are On-On!
And ON-UP!
Nice view, eh?
Looks good from behind too!
Snakes in the grass?
Another month or two and this will be tough going…
What are you guys looking at?
Ah, okay…
On the trail…
Getting passed by the runners. We had a 30-minute headstart…
In fact, Leech My Nuggets passed us twice…once before and once after our shortcut.
Crossing the creek…
…and heading On-Home…
The gash waiting for the circle to commence…
And the menfolk shooting the bull…
Two of our newly named Hashers (you get a Hash moniker after completing five runs). On the left is Boom Boom Everyday and on the right is Dickens Cider.
Props to Pubic Head on creating these logos for the girls…
That’s it for this Hash post!

I’ll be back with more after my Wednesday Walkers hike. See you then!

A sudden departure

The expat community here consists primarily of retired folk. Not surprisingly, that means most of us are well into our “golden” years. I’d estimate that at 65, I’m the median age amongst my peers. And with an older population, we are frequently reminded of the inevitability of death. I’ve heard of two foreigners that I didn’t know personally dying here this week. All we can do is keep on living as best as we are able until time runs out. That’s my plan anyway.

It appears that is exactly what Derek did. I met Derek (Derelick) through the Hash, and he was also well known in the bar community. We spent an enjoyable couple of hours drinking and chatting on the Kokomo’s floating bar earlier this year. Regular readers may recall that since the pandemic we have frequently used his palatial house on Rizal Extension as our Hash On-Home. In fact, we were just there three weeks ago. That turns out to have been the last time I saw Derek alive. HIs domestic helper posted this morning that Derek had a heart attack and died last night.

I don’t know the specifics of Derek’s story, but he always impressed me as a man who lived life on his own terms. He was a medical professional and spent most of his career working overseas. I understand he spent a lot of time in Thailand and I believe his last job before retiring a couple of years ago was in Dubai. His health has not been so good for several months, but he seemed resilient and was back to the life he loved between bouts of whatever it was that ailed him. I remember seeing his posts on Facebook this past Saturday about his barhop adventure, and another friend said they were together drinking and chatting on Sunday night. Well, Derek, you lived your life with gusto right up to the end. We should all be so lucky!

Rest in Peace…no, the hell with that–party hardy at that big ON-ON in the sky!

We had our usual Hash yesterday and Leech My Nuggets was the Hare. He laid down this challenge on the Subic Hash Facebook page:

Leech my Pussy and I are the hares; sign up at VFW from 2.00 PM; trail marked from VFW, starts 2.30 PM …… short (5.5 KM) and sweet, so surely the Sick, Lame & Insane can do it without to many short-cuts

That last reference was aimed at our “sane” group of Hashers. Call us what you will (and the “sick, lame, and insane” name is in jest, just Hash talk) but we far outnumber the hardcore group. Still, 5.5 is a short trail, especially for Leech. I started out with every intention of completing the entire path as he intended It may have been short, but it wasn’t easy. Two decent climbs on the first half left me gasping and thirsty. It was then that I discovered I had somehow forgotten to pack water. Prudence dictated that I forgo the final (and hardest) climb. But I really, really wanted to do it. Promise!

The trail sans shortcuts...
The sane group with our traditional early 2:00 start is underway.
The beginning of the first up…
The normally clear skies (when it is not raining I mean) have been absent for the past few days. I assumed it was just a hazy moisture effect. But I heard it is some residual dust from a volcano down south that might be waking up again.
What goes up, must come down…
We weren’t down for long though…
A picture stop before the next climb…
Up the dreaded tire climb…
And then the tires turn to bags…
And still, we climb…
Scrambling up and over rocks
Summit achieved!
Splendor in the grass.
Back down again.
Watch your step!
A couple of bridges to cross.
Sorry, kids. I shortcut the trail and couldn’t bring you your cookies this time. I’ll be back!
And that’s as far as this post is going.

And life goes on. For some of us at least. We will all miss you, Derek.

A sane and insane day at the Hash

Hashing during rainy season is always hit and miss. I mean, our motto includes “rain or shine”, but sometimes that means doing a pub crawl rather than a trail. It wasn’t that extreme yesterday, but because it had been raining on and off all day long, our “sick, lame, and sane” group decided to forgo the Hare’s trail which included a mountain climb. We stuck to the pavement but did a hike almost as long as the actual route laid by Leech My Nuggets.

On-Home was at Derelict’s place on Rizal Extension. His health hasn’t been the best lately, and he wasn’t looking good yesterday. Just before the circle started someone took him to the hospital in Angeles City. Hope they can cure what ails him there.

Derelict has a one-bedroom unit on his property that he rents out. His tenant was there yesterday and wanted to join in with the Hash activities. So, he met the only requirement for doing so–the 350 peso entry fee–and that was that. It is rare that I meet a person that just strikes me as not all there, and even worse, not all there in a bad way. This guy was obnoxious, argumentative, creepy, and honestly, he struck me as potentially dangerous. I kept my distance but overheard some of the shit he was saying and it left me with an uneasy feeling.

After the Hash was over, one of the Hashers discovered her phone was missing. Hmm. I wonder who is the most likely suspect? No evidence, just a suspicion. The victim is also my part-time employee and lives in my basement maid’s quarters. I took her shopping today and bought her a new phone.

Here are a few photos for your enjoyment:

The trail I didn’t take. Didn’t seem like the best day to be up in the mountains.
Leaving the VFW sign-up location for the official starting point of the trail.
A kilometer or so down the National highway.
Here we all are, let’s get this show on the road!
The Hare’s trail went up those steps to a muddy path leading to the top of the ridgeline…
So, the Hashers divided themselves into sane and insane groups…some went up…
…and the rest of us stuck to the pavement. Such as it was.
The sun did come out now and again…
A babbling brook…
Hash gash engaging in a classic Filipina pose.
It’s a long, steady climb going up Rizal Extension. I’d forgotten just how much I despise it…
We reached Derelict’s and some of the gals were showing their ass.
Drinking beer and waiting around for the circle to begin…
The call was for the Filipinas to sit on the ice. The asshole (on the left) insisted on joining them. What a dick.

Anyway, the rain and the theft put a damper on the evening. It will be better next week. I’m one of the Hares and we’ll have a trail suitable for hiking when wet.

And so ends antoher worthless Hash post.

A slippery slope

The rain held off for yesterday’s Hash. Until it didn’t. And once it started raining, the dirt path became a semi-liquid Messy Underfoot Disaster (MUD). Especially going downhill. So, when our group of “sane” Hashers realized that the Hare’s had us coming off the mountain on a trail that is steep and treacherous when dry, we sought out an alternative route. Pubic Head knew of a place where we could take concrete steps down which seemed like a good plan. Finding the right trail to get us there was a hit-and-miss affair, but in the end, we got there.

Ironically, those concrete steps had a layer of green algae growing on top. If there is one thing more slippery than mud, it’s algae. I was well aware of this fact and was being extra cautious, side-stepping my way down for better traction. In vain as it turned out. About halfway down my foot slid out from under me and I came down hard on my elbow. Fortunately, only a scratch and a bruise to show for it.

We were two hours into the hike with a long way to go to get back to the On Home in Alta Vista, so we did a shortcut. Good thing, too. Otherwise, we would have missed out on the circle which started less than thirty minutes after we arrived. But as always, it was good to be out and about with my fellow Hashers. Here are some photos:

And we are off!
The beginning of the hike was road work.
And then the climbing began.
It seemed like the stairs would never end.
No wonder we were so tired.
Then it got so steep the locals found it necessary to erect a handrail to pull themselves up. Worked for me!
All that climbing and we still weren’t at the top.
I was glad this carabao didn’t have much interest in us passing Hashers…
Mountain living…
…with a million-dollar view.
A brief rest for the weary, but sane, Hashers.
Show us the way to these fabled steps down, Pubic Head.
I’m coming, I’m coming…
I was proud to have found my way to the sought-after steps down. Turns out pride really does goeth before a fall…
And that’s all I’ve got for this Hash post.

Had a busier than normal Tuesday and now it is time for darts. Full report tomorrow!

Let me leave you with a laugh. Here’s a 3-minute comedy sketch you might enjoy:

Bass Ackwards

A somewhat unusual Hash experience yesterday. Leech My Nuggets was the Hare and he laid a trail that was relatively easy compared to what he normally puts us through. It was long though, coming in at 10K. Of course, I’m in the “sane” group and we shortcut when and where we please. Our version of the trail was a comfortable 6K. What made it different was that through a misunderstanding or bad assumptions, we did the trail in reverse. We started in Alta Vista because our intel told us the trail passed through the neighborhood shortly after leaving the starting point at the VFW. Nope, turns out Alta Vista was near the end of the trail. Oops! It made following the marks much more difficult, especially the chalk arrows that were all pointing in the wrong direction and were usually out of sight unless we turned and looked behind us. Anyway, we overcame the challenge and made a nice hike of it.

The trail as the Hare intended.
The “sane” Hashers on the march.
I remember crossing this bridge before it collapsed. Glad I wasn’t on it when it finally did. Made the crossing a tad more challenging though.
The portion of the hike we did was mostly ‘urban”–passing through subdivisions and squatter villages.
We did have a bit of trouble in one neighborhood. A couple of the residents said we were on private property and they didn’t want us there. Pubic Head ignored them, went on ahead, and confirmed we were on the Hare’s intended path, albeit in reverse.
So, as politely as we could we said “salamat (thank you), we are just passing through” and went on our way.
We did gain some elevation during our hike…
On our way down, we encountered the first Hasher who was actually doing the trail in the intended direction. Folks were very surprised to see us going the opposite way.
On Down!
A brief respite from civilization…
Back amongst the living.
Our final climb begins…
It felt like the stairs would never end.
Cookie delivery…
On Home at Queen Victoria.
Refreshing beverages after a hot hike…
Celebrating Fuck Buddy’s birthday in true Hash fashion. You might say she got to eat her cake and wear it too…
And so concludes another trashy Hash post…

But wait, there’s more! At the conclusion of the Hash circle, I caught a trike for home. Except his machine wasn’t powerful enough to make it up the last hill to my place. No big deal, I paid him and got out to walk the rest of the way. But when I looked up I saw this:

I’m not sure my limited phone/camera skills captured the full beauty of the moment, but it was almost breathtaking. Put a little spring in my step as I marched the two blocks home.

I’m looking forward to a Joyous afternoon. I’ll write about that tomorrow. See you then!

Getting off on the mountain

Girl.

I had the pleasant experience of receiving my first massage under the hands of Judy, the gal I a couple of weeks ago. She rode her scooter to my place this afternoon, although she wasn’t able to follow the simple directions I provided and got turned around here in the subdivision. Oh well. She’s not a great conversationalist either, but let’s just say she has other talents that left me completely satisfied. When she departed she told me she was heading to the store to buy food for her kids, so I guess it worked out well for both of us. I’m sure I’ll be inclined to help her out again in the future.

Money well spent for both of us.

I got up and off of another mountain during yesterday’s Hash. It didn’t compare with today’s adventure, but it was still quite pleasant. I had gotten a preview of the trail on Wednesday’s hike, which is a good thing because the earlier rain had obliterated many of the powder markings making parts of the intended path hard to follow.

Here to powder is still visible; that wasn’t the case in other parts, especially the beginning.

With the advantage of foresight, I also made the decision to shortcut one of the downs and ups. I figured the mud in both directions would take the fun out of that part of the hike. Otherwise, it was not a bad trail at all, coming in at right under 6K, just the way I like it!

Too bad we couldn’t follow the trail the way Google Earth saw it…
Our “sane” group seems to be getting larger and larger each week. Actually though, quite a few of them didn’t take our shortcut. That’s pretty natural though–on trail it is up to each Hasher to decide what they are going to do.
We are On-On!
Coming down into Alta Vista at the start of the hike.
Then headed for the hills.
It doesn’t appear that Buddy Fucker even broke stride getting over that fallen tree…
The first climb begins…
Looks like the hill slowed Buddy Fucker down some…
A view from the top…
Onward Hashers!
Definitely more fun going over an obstacle than under one.
This isn’t so bad, right?
Hello again, cutie!
Rest stop.
I guess technically it has everything you need…except electricity, internet, flushing toilets…
For you Easter mountain fans…
Splendor in the grass…
“Y’all coming, or what?” I’m waiting to see why that chicken is crossing the path!
Valley view…
On-Home was at the VFW and we did the circle outside for the first time. Still crowded, but at least no one fell into that nasty swimming pool.
Bye-bye virgins…
None of them did very well with the “down-down” either. What doesn’t go in you, goes on you!

And so ended the one thousand four hundred and fifty-second running of the Subic Bay Hash.

I hope this post wasn’t too long!

You can go your own way

I didn’t do yesterday’s Hash trail. I wasn’t alone in deciding to go my own way. Seven others joined me for a pleasant hike in the rain, clocking in with a mostly flat 7K walkabout. It was the right call. By the Hare’s own admission, out of 60 Hashers, only five chose to do the entire trail. Granted, twenty+ others did the first hill, then rode the Hashmobile back to our On-Home. Still, you might say that people voted with their feet in making the rational decision that prudence precludes doing insane shit at the behest of the Hare.

I’ve seen the pictures and I definitely made the right call. To begin, the Hashmobile was jammed packed. If my group had shown up there wouldn’t have been room for everyone. I hate riding in the back of that truck anyway, but a long haul out to the trailhead over rough roads was a non-starter for me, notwithstanding the difficulty of the trail itself. The pictures showed some tough rock scaling and wading through water. No thank you!

Some people give me shit about being a wuss and say it is disrespectful to the Hare to take out a group of Hashers on my own trail. Bullshit! I Hash to have fun, not to prove how manly I am by risking life and limb by putting myself in unsafe situations. Been there, done that, and I ain’t doing it no more. I honestly don’t begrudge a Hare like Guenter doing the kind of trail he personally prefers. I just expect the same consideration when I choose to do things my way.

Anyway, no hard feelings really on my part. Last night I was awarded a new Hash patch:

Yep, 150 runs now with the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers. Let’s hope I live long enough to do 150 more!
The presentation by the Grandmaster during the Hash circle.

Not many pictures this week since I was not on the official trail, but here’s a few for your perusal:

This week’s “sane” Hash group.
You can see the rain heading our way…
Wet with sweat or wet with rain feels about the same. Although it is nice to have some relief from the heat.
Crossing bridge #4 in Naugsol and turning to head On-Home.
60 Hashers at Smoke and Bottles, including a large contingent from Angeles City.

San Miguel Zero beer was not available, so I was downing San Mig Light (5% alcohol versus my usual 3%). I neglected to moderate my intake accordingly and wound up a little more inebriated than normal. Laid down on the floor for a bit when I got back home and woke up feeling just dandy this morning.

It was a rainy night with plenty of lightning and thunder. But the sun came out in the morning to greet me.

My afternoon today had a bit of twist. I’ll share that story tomorrow.

In the meantime, here’s my Buddy boy keeping an eye on things in his new digs.

That’s a worst

The first climb on yesterday’s Hash trail was insane. Hands and knees crazy. Pulling myself up by grabbing hold of the grass in front of me nuts. Definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience–I’d have to be a lunatic to attempt that ascent again, and I’m just not that bonkers.

It didn’t have to be that way. Pubic Head, the putative leader of our “sane” Hash group, tried to warn us. But the rest of our group had already gone forward and from where I stood it looked steep but doable. Pubic Head wound up breaking his trekking pole, so turned back before the real beserk shit started. It’s good that he did. His first words when I saw him at our On-Home venue was “I told you so.” Yes, you did. I’ll listen to you next time for sure.

So, having survived that climb, the trail (or at least the part I did) wasn’t bad. A lot of it was the familiar “My Bitch” terrain, although the down was new to me. Once back on the flat ground I made the determination that I’d had enough, and we shortcut our way back to Da’Kudo’s for the Hash circle festivities. I probably completed a little over 5K of a 9K trail. No regrets about not doing more.

Here are some photos:

The climb started sanely enough…
But then it went from this…
..to this. Told you it was a crazy-ass climb.
Looking back from half way up…
Grab that grass and pull yourself up as best as you are able.
This wasn’t the highest mountain around, but definitely the steepest ascent I can recall in my 3.5-year Hashing career…
The view from the top…
Enjoying the sanity of “My Bitch”…
My kind of trail.
Yes, it was harder than the notorious climb up Easter mountain.
For you Preying Mantis fans…
Let the shortcutting commence…
The On-Home Hash circle was held on Baloy Beach for the first time since the pandemic insanity started…
We had good weather for our rituals…
Although the skies were threatening.
Some Hash Gash for your viewing pleasure.
And so ended another day beside the the lovely waters of the Subic Bay.
I trust this post has served its purpose.

I’ll tell you about my Joy full day today, tomorrow.

Stay tuned!

Our way

That’s the way the sane group did yesterday’s Hash. We completed a goodly portion of the first climb on the Hare’s trail, but when we reached the part that is aptly named “Motherfucker” we chose to take a different path. Worked out just fine. A challenging, yet enjoyable, 6K hike.

Our Hash circles are getting more and more out of control, and are also getting longer and longer, which makes them less and less enjoyable. At least for me. I’ve taken to giving myself some time-outs when it gets to be too much, but last night when the circle finally concluded I was in a bad mood. That’s no way to finish an otherwise good day. I’m going to need to take a new approach I reckon. I’m not sure what that will be, but I’ll think of something.

To the photos then:

The Subic Bay Sane Hash House Harriers.
We are On-On…
And the climb begins…
Tired yet?
On-Up!
It’s bound to get easier. Eventually.
That’s more like it.
ISD takes a tumble. The trail was wet and slick in places.
Onward!
Our virgin Hasher enjoying the trail. Well, maybe enjoy is too strong a word.
A village in the woods.
Heading for our On-Home at Derelick’s house.
Watch your step!
A Preying Mantis drinking water.
One more bridge to cross…
A bay view.
A carabao blocking my path. I went around him.
For you Easter mountain fans…
The virgin initiation. You have to Down-Down a full beverage without it leaving your lips. As we say, this process is like a blow job because what doesn’t go in you…
…goes on you!
And so concludes another Hash post…

Time to eat. I wonder if I can find this place:

It’s looks f’n good!

Hash crash

I survived another Hash yesterday. Barely. I exaggerate, but damn, at the start, it was as hot as I remember it ever being. Later in the day some clouds rolled in and thunder rumbled, but no raindrops fell on my sweaty head. If the weather forecasts are to be believed, we’ll be seeing some monsoon-like rains here by next week. Can hardly wait!

The trail itself was on the short side, around 5K. It featured two moderate climbs, a lot of which consisted of steps. The biggest challenge was the portions that were covered in bamboo leaves, making the path treacherously slippery. Despite my best efforts to be prudent, I did take a fall. It could have been worse, but as I was sliding down the steep side of the mountain on my ass, I managed to reach out and grab a tree trunk. It was tough enough getting back up on the trail from where I wound up–not sure what I would have done had I slid all the way down to the bottom. And to think that just the other day I was complaining about the lack of excitement in my life. Yesterday’s adventure ought to hold me over in that regard for a while, I reckon.

Let’s go to the photos, shall we?

Yesterday’s Hash trail. The detour I took on my ass is not shown.
We are called the “sick, lame, and insane” group because we leave early and shortcut as we please. I’d say that makes US the sane Hashers. It seems each week our group grows larger. I expect before long we will be the majority in the Subic Bay Hash.
The first climb of the day begins.
Looking back from whence we came.
When the trail was like this I had no problems.
But a lot of it was like this.
Shortly after taking this photo is when I fell. My downhill right foot slipped out from under me, spinning me around, and dropping me on my ass. That’s when the ride down the hillside began. I was still gaining speed when I grabbed a tree to stop my momentum.
Buddy Fucker encouraging me to hurry my slow ass up.
Having reached the top, we began the journey back down.
Standing tall in my element–flat ground!
What’s a Hash without a rickety bridge crossing where one false step imperils life and limb? You can’t tell in this photo, but there was about an 8-foot drop to the creekbed below.
Time for the second climb of the day…
And it wasn’t all stairsteps…
Rest time.
Near the top of the climb up I heard a voice calling, “John, this way!” It was Olivia (on the left), my mountain family friend.
The rest of the trail was the familiar and relatively easy “My Bitch.” Here’s the view of Easter mountain from there.

The On-Home was at the Alta Vista community center. Once again, my chili sold out; that’s the best review possible. Hmm, it just occurred to me the review could also mean, “I was so damn hungry I actually ate that shit!”. Well, there were other choices available:

A couple of the Hash Gash put in the time and effort to generate some cash from food sales.
Hard at work preparing the kebabs…
Our newest named Hasher: Get Your Rocks Off.
My Hash crash cost me some time on the ice…
We also initiated a virgin Hasher (the girl on the right).
And we prepared the traditional Hash birthday cake for Salty Cum and Anal Receptive.

All in all, it was a pretty good day. Got some exercise, didn’t die falling down a mountain, and drank lots of beers. Does it get any better than that?

And that concludes another worthless Hash post

In the shadow of the mountain

Three straight days of Hashing has resulted in three consecutive posts here about Hashing. I’m not sure which is harder to endure. This is the last one until next week, I promise!

Perhaps the most interesting thing to happen took place at our sign-up venue, the VFW. A youngish guy (comparatively speaking, probably in his 40s) came in and was asking about joining the Hash. I let the Grandmaster do the explaining, but later as the guy was leaving he said, “you’re McCrarey, aren’t you?” I nodded and asked how he knew my name, he responded “I’ve read your blog.” I asked him how he happened upon my humble ramblings and he told me he just did a Google search for pictures of Barretto. It’s a little scary being reminded that I’m not quite as anonymous as I think I am. Oh, well. From day one of blogging I believed if you didn’t put your name on what you wrote, it didn’t deserve to be read. Back then I was more political, having your name publically associated with what is essentially a diary is a little more uncomfortable. I’m not going to censor myself, although I might try to be a bit more discrete discreet on some topics so people other than me are not identifiable. It’s a small town and in some ways it’s small-minded.

The Hash trail itself was nothing to complain about. Familiar territory, but some new paths. That’s always a nice touch. Our shortcutting efforts backfired and we wound up adding a couple of extra kilometers in an effort to avoid a hot climb. That’s the way it goes sometimes. Here are some photos for your enjoyment:

We left the VFW and made our way to Alta Vista…
walked the streets of the subdivision for a bit…
…and then headed on down to the valley.
A bit of a steep descent ahead, so I got my camera ready to document any Hash crash…
But ISD made it with no problem…
…and so did Pubic Head.
Down then up.

And now a quick break in the action to meet the girls:

Hello there, Preying Mantis.
Nice to see you, Cum In My Basement.
Looking good, Whatever You Want.

Alright then, now where were we?

Oh yeah, we were Hashing.
That seems to be a prominent landmark.
We may be in the shadow of the mountain…
…but there ain’t much shade.

Things went awry for my group a short time later. We missed a right turn and took a left. So we made our own way back, but it wasn’t as pleasant as what the Hares had prepared for us.

It’s never much fun to hike the National Highway!
On Home was also at the VFW. We had over 50 in attendance and, frankly, that’s more than this venue can handle comfortably. It was really frustrating because it seems the noise and chatter were amplified in such a way that the circle events could not be heard. I sat outside and sulked instead.

And there you have it. Still taking a break from darts, I might go back to that next week. Tonight I hear It Doesn’t Matter calling to me.

Nailed it!

The Angeles City Corona Hash outstation run has been successfully completed. By that I mean it appears everyone survived which is never a sure thing when Guenter is the Hare. His trail took over 5 hours to complete and involved several big mountain climbs. A few folks came back covered in dirt and with some scrapes and bruises from falling. I’m told one of the downhills was so steep that sliding on your ass was the only viable way to get down. Well, not for me, but most of the folks who did that trail seemed to enjoy the challenge.

I got drafted to help mark the “sane” trail. It was a 6K jaunt up the paved road to Tibag and back again. We did have a 1K section that was off-road, but nothing real challenging other than the first half being gently all uphill. We started marking at 11:30 and finished just before the scheduled 1:00 p.m. start time (the folks braving Guenter’s long trail had started at 10:00). We were basically camping out riverside in the middle of nowhere so it was surprising when our group was confronted by a couple of armed soldiers. They asked what we were doing (hiking) and if we had a permit from the barangay in Naugsol (no). I guess they decided we were not terrorists or otherwise a threat because they wished us well and continued on with their patrol.

The only interesting event I experienced on the short trail was stepping on this:

Not exactly sure what it is…not really a nail, more like a piece of wire…maybe from a fence.

So, I’m walking along and I feel something sharp poking me in the foot, kind of like having a rock in your shoe, only pointed I shook my foot around some trying to dislodge whatever was stabbing me, to no avail. I had no choice but to remove my shoe.

This is the recreation of what I saw.

I stepped on that wire in such a way that it fit perfectly into the tread of my shoe, almost as if it was designed for that purpose. The short pointed end went through the sole of my shoe and poked me in the foot. It wasn’t quite long enough to penetrate through the cushion inside the shoe (or pierce my skin) but made it impossibly uncomfortable to walk. Pulling that wire out was reminiscent of the dentist trying to yank my tooth, but I managed to free my shoe of this unwanted intruder. Call it fate or maybe Karma, but that wire had to be perfectly positioned in the dirt and I had to step on it in precisely the right way in order for it to have the impact it did. What are the odds?

Let’s get to the good stuff–pictures from the Subic Hash Facebook page from yesterday’s event.

Guenter’s trail in yellow, the sane trail in blue.
Since we were basically camping out, all our gear (beer and ice) had to be transported out to our outstation location.
My fellow Hares, Buddy Fucker and Pubic Head.
Let’s get this trail marked!
In downtown Tibag, such as it is…
The long slog up…
No wonder I’m so slow…looks like I’m taking baby steps.
Gave this hardworking family we encountered some cookies
Heading back across the river to our campsite.
Surrounded by some awesome mountains. I’d rather look at them than climb them!
The Hashmobile arrives…
Pubic Head guiding some late arrivals to the trailhead…
Yougini grilling up some meats…
Anal Intruder guarding the Hashmobile…
Hiking the sane trail…
People started returning from the long and short trails and it was beer o’clock!
Building the camp fire…
Happy campers.
Chillaxin’
Brown in white looks pretty good to me!
And so does Preying Mantis…
Washing off the dirt from the trail…
Our improvised campground.
The last returners…
Circle up!
Doing my time for some Hash crime…
Sorry for the short post!

I’m running late for today’s Subic Hash. I’ll be back tomorrow with more!

Beach, please

Yesterday’s hike with the Corona Hashers from Angeles turned out to be a beach walk. Not real surprising, I suppose. I had it in mind that we would be hiking from the Treasure Island meet-up and finishing at the Da’ Kudos On-Home venue. That was true for the long (10K) trail, but the 5K trail I took required a truck ride out to barangay Kalaklan, then basically just following the beach all the way back to Baloy. I’d done that hike numerous times, but not recently. Yesterday was a good reminder of why I don’t take the beach route more often. I’ll let the pictures tell the story.

I really, really dislike riding in the Hashmobile. It’s as uncomfortable as it looks and my mind can’t help but think of all the potential disasters associated with this unsafe mode of travel.
But we made it safely to the drop-off point and began our march to the beach.
Making our way down from the highway…
…passing some shanties along the way…
…before finally arriving at the water.
The tide was high.
Looking for a way to get across an inconveniently placed river…
…but in the end wading proved to be the only option.
The sand before the rocks…
And what rocks they were! Always a pain in the ass to scramble over, but the high tide required taking a higher and more treacherous route.
She’s got some mountain goat in her…
The worst is over now.
Glad to put that behind me…
Oh, good. My shoes are almost dry and here’s another river crossing…
Life’s a beach sometimes.
Back On-Home at Da’ Kudos the Subic contingent gives a welcome to the visiting Hashers from Angeles City.
And in return I was welcomed to have a seat on the ice.
And then the sun set on another day of Hashing.

Today I’ll also being Hashing with the Angeles crew. This time we are meeting up in Tibag. There are three trails–long, medium, and short; I’ll be taking the short route which doesn’t involve climbing the highest mountain in the area (up to Tralala). Should be fun, regardless. I like the area and we will be doing a cookout and enjoying our beers out there in the wilds.

Full report tomorrow!

Hellish Hash

I’ve never been there, so I can’t attest that it was hotter than hell on yesterday’s Hash. Hot enough for a governmental heat warning to be issued, not that that stopped us. Apparently, it was 95 degrees. and the heat index made it feel like 107. Yeah, it’s been hot lately, but I do most of my walking in the mornings. The Hash starts at 2:00 which apparently is the peak time of the day for hotness. When I hit the 3K mark it felt like I had been nearly drained of energy, and every step I took was harder than the last. For the first time in my Hash career, I actually stopped at a sari-sari store for some Gatorade.

No complaints about the actual trail, or the portion I did anyway. I took a shortcut that eliminated a climb and a little distance. Mother Nature just whupped my ass. Here are some photos from the day:

We are On-On!
Hello there, Praying Mantis. There’s an old joke about the only thing better than long legs wrapped around your back is short legs trying. I can picture this gal saying “wanna bet?”
I guess this doesn’t qualify as a climb, but it is uphill. I’ve used this sidewalk numerous times and it’s tougher than it looks going up.
We’ve only just begun…
Ah, the familiar streets of Alta Vista.
That’s me walking away from my house. Back to the future!
Steep and slippery, a dicey combination.
Easy for your skinny little ass to march across that rickety bridge.
This bridge is much more to my liking…
Trying to avoid the sun. Good luck with that!
I really dislike jumping down this wall…Fuck Buddy is much more graceful at it than I am.
Once rainy season arrives walking across this field will be less pleasant.
Stopping at the sari-sari store for some refreshments about half way through the trail.
And a much needed rest break.
Back at it.
My favorite view on the day…
At least these seemingly endless steps were going down…
Don’t drink the water!
On-Home was at Hunter Jo’s Inn. Definitely the Hash venue with the best views.
And cute waitresses too! After a few beers, I got the courage up to ask the one on the right if she had a boyfriend. She immediately and enthusiastically answered “Yes!”
Pubic Head doing what he does best…
We deflowered three Hash virgins.
Fucking Cupcake putting his time on ice to good use chatting up one of the virgins…
And the sun finally ended its torment of the hapless Hashers.
And that’s all for this lovely Hash post.

I’ll be back with more tomorrow, now I’m off to see the dentist.