The United States granted independence to the Philippines on July 4, 1946. In 1962, the Philippines changed the date of independence to June 12, in recognition of the date in 1898 when independence from Spain was declared. The backstory is that the date change was tantamount to giving the finger to the USA. I doubt that any American gave a shit, though.

But it did open the door to this:

Anyway, it was a good time, as far as I recall. I don’t remember paying my bill, but the contents of my wallet say I must have. I took a trike back to Barretto and went to Kampo for dinner, but I don’t remember what I had to eat. I vaguely recall finishing the night at Queen Victoria, but that’s pretty fuzzy too.

Started early and finished early. That’s my style these days.

Can you wonder what lies beyond? Though you've been
There before and forget about the effort and the strain
Always ascending, each yard as a mile to the never ending pull
Of the steepening grade that's before you

It's no matter, no distance, it's the ride

How’s this for a Sunday?

I was up earlier than usual, and my boys were feeling lazy.

Of course, they are always up in time for the dog walk. I really enjoyed this one–something about the clouds and the mountains was making me feel glad to be living in the moment.

Feeling inspired when I returned home, I set about making some breakfast.

I’m one of the Hares for this week’s Hash, and so we went out to mark our trail. There was some debate about whether to wait until Monday morning to do the marking. The issue is that if you mark a day early and it rains, a lot of that work will be erased. On the other hand, if you wait until the morning of the Hash, you may encounter weather problems or other unforeseen issues with the intended trail and not have adequate time to rectify them. Blow My Pipe wanted to wait, and Pubic Head wanted to mark early. I wanted to go early and also go back out on Monday to do any necessary touch-ups. In the end, Pubic Head and I marked the trail yesterday with the caveat that should it rain, Blow My Pipe and I would remark the trail today. We had some light rain but not enough to require a revisit. Win!

Our trail is a bit over 7K but mostly flat. We are starting at Bridge #4 in Naugsol, which requires a truck ride, but it couldn’t be helped. Our On-Home is at Da’Kudos on Baloy Beach, so we didn’t have a lot of options. Our trail has a couple of short uphills, but nothing too strenuous. My least favorite part is walking through a rice paddy overgrown with grass. Makes it hard to see or follow the trail. We’ll see how that works out today. We finish up by going through Matain and then taking a boat ride across the river to Baloy Beach.

I had my hands full with powder and chalk, so I wasn’t able to get many photos from the trail. Here is a couple, though:

After completing our mission, we had lunch and beers at Johan’s. I took a trike home from Baloy and had a nap. I had to rush around to get to It Doesn’t Matter in time for the Sunday raffle. Well, I thought I had to rush around. I arrived before 5:00 and bought my usual six tickets for 500 pesos. The owner told me the raffle wasn’t going to start around 6:00. Oh well, I just chilled and drank beers. Also bought my waitress, Agnes, several lady drinks. Six o’clock came and went with no sign of movement towards starting the raffle. By 6:30, I was frustrated and said fuck it, paid my tab, and left. Agnes said she would take care of anything I might win. She messaged me later that I had won some more discount coupons–my favorite prize. Anyway, I won’t be participating in future raffles because my time is more valuable to me than the potential prizes. The raffle is for charity, but I can find other ways to contribute.

I was in a sour mood when I crossed the highway and entered Cheap Charlies. I ordered up my usual, and like clockwork, my two regulars were seated on either side of me. They didn’t have anything to say to me, mind you, just sat there expectantly waiting for me to buy them a drink. I had a surprise for them this time–I finished my beer, paid my tab, and walked out. They appeared to be stunned. Rule #1 is: Don’t be a sucker. Rule #2 is: Don’t be stupid. I need to get better at following the rules.

I crossed the highway again and decided to give BarCelona a try. I was hoping my “friends” at Cheap Charlies saw me taking my business elsewhere. Alas, as usual, the service at BarCelona sucked. It seems if you decline to buy a lady drink, you are ignored. I practically had to beg to get my second beer served, and after that, all the joy had gone out of my evening. I caught a trike downstairs and went home early.

Dinner awaited me in the crockpot.

I’ve decided to do the Hash trail with the group this afternoon. Doing my own trail is a first for me as a Hare. At least I won’t get lost!

Then take it as far as you see and beyond
With eyes you don't use enough to gather up strength
As thoroughfare gap, what awaits is whatever you see
When you get there or even before

It's no matter, no distance, it's the ride

Heard some sad news this morning. One of our town’s expat characters, JR Welch, committed suicide. I wasn’t close to JR, but just about everyone knew him. If he was nearby, you knew it–he was that loud and boisterous. A proud Army vet who knew how to have a good time in the bars. He was married to another acquaintance of mine, and they recently had a baby boy. Judging from the Facebook posts I’d seen, they were living a good and happy life, making it all the more shocking. You just never know what’s really going on. And perhaps there is more to the story; I saw this comment posted on FB today:

 I talked to a friend who is one of the lead investigators. They are saying suicide, and I told my friend B.S. as JR is a new Dad. In my opinion, foul play. I saw the pics, and JR’s throat was slashed. Now they are waiting on the coroner’s autopsy report.

Again, I wasn’t close to the man, but he certainly didn’t strike me as someone who would quit at anything, especially life. I’ve heard of murders being called suicide in the past–saves the police all that investigative work. And the lives of foreigners aren’t exactly valued here. Let’s hope the truth comes out, whatever it might be.

I finished second in the dart tourney last night. I threw well, but Billy threw better. I enjoyed the games, if not the outcome.

Kevin Kim posted about some controversy he created in the comments section of a blog we both read. I don’t bother much these days arguing with internet strangers; there’s not much point when you know minds won’t be changed. But I did get sucked into some drama when I answered the question, “Why do some clubs in Korea not allow foreigners inside?” this way:

Well, I lived in Korea for 12 years before retiring and moving to the Philippines. I do recall the clubs with the “Koreans only” signs out front. I didn’t really care because I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.

I can only speculate on the reasons why foreigners weren’t welcome. But after moving to the PI, I was amused to learn that the Filipina bargirls have a universal nickname for Korean men: “triple three.” Of course, I had to ask what that meant. They laughed and said, “three inches, three minutes, three thousand pesos.”

Maybe Korean guys don’t like to compete with a full-sized man?

Yeah, I was trying to be funny. Although that really is what bargirls here call Korean men. Naturally, I awoke a couple of humorless scolds. Brina Domingez had this to say:

To say that Korean men don’t like to compete with full-size men is hilarious, especially coming from a white guy! White men are not known for being big by any means, even against Asian men. Why not take your white superiority mindset to America or Africa, and I betcha there’ll be a nickname for you. That probably explains why you’re In Asia. Your white superiority got you thinking you’re a God in Asia when back home you ain’t 💩. For the Filipina who made that comment about the 3 threes can easily apply that nickname to her fellow men bc the avg Filipino men are packing 4.2 in. ERECT. GTFOH. Lol.

Well, damn. I’m a white supremacist now. Who knew? I responded to her this way:

I have something else to be thankful for today: I am not you and I don’t know anyone as ignorant as you. I humorously told a story, and that makes me a white supremacist? Jesus, people like you, are why I have no desire to live in the USA.

I let Brina have the last word on Quora because I honestly don’t care enough to argue with her:

Humorous? No, you took a jab at Korean men then you finished your original comment with the “full size” crap which many can refute . Also, you don’t know me at all to make any kind of judgment especially like being ignorant. YOUR comment was ignorant, arrogant and you generalized Korean men and supported that generalization with a lame comment from of all ppl a Filipina. We all know the relation between the two aren’t always great so an opinion of one must be taken with a grain of salt. Thank goodness you aren’t here but sad you are there feeding the Filipino population with your white superiority views about us in America.

Ah, well. It’s all my skin color’s fault, I’m not responsible for anything I say or do. Someone named Jace Nation also took offense:

Weird the only dudes I know who go to the Philippine for sex tourism are middle age white American. Quite common to hear about child abuse there from American. Maybe grown women didn’t really want them back home.

Yeah, right. This is how I responded to Ms. Jace:

It’s weird that you think that way, and it also proves you don’t know what the hell you are talking about. To the extent men do come here to escape women who think as you do, can they really be blamed?

The world has gone mad.

You know, despite the impression I might create here with some of my posts, I am not in the Philippines for the sex. I had really hoped to find a loving Filipina to share my golden years. That hasn’t worked out yet. I’ve talked about the “friends with benefits” program I tried for a while, but that too seemed wrong somehow. Now, I just go about my days doing the things I enjoy and trying not to obsess about the things I miss and want and don’t have. I’ve accepted the reality of my solitary life. But that being said, I still get regular entreaties from ladies who want to spend time with me and my wallet. I mostly just say no nowadays, but that’s not always easy. Especially when they attach photos to their pleas:

She actually sent several more photos; some are even more revealing. She’s a cutie, that’s for sure. I’m a man who has not been known for his ability to resist feminine charms. Maybe just once more. Does that make me a bag guy? Or worse yet, a white supremacist?

By the way, the expats in my little town come from all over the world. Like their skin color, their motivations for being here vary. We all don’t fit in the same box (no pun intended).

But enough of this nonsense; let’s talk about those Three Crosses. It’s a local monument high in the hills above the Santa Rita barangay in Olongapo. Our Friday group climbed up there yesterday for a look-see. It was my first time out that way, and seeing all the new views was almost a religious experience. The steps to the top were crucifyingly difficult, but in the end, we nailed it. Jesus, puns this bad are almost criminal. Okay, I’ll stop and tell the story with the photos we took.

We eventually found it. A challenging but very nice and beautiful hike. I’m glad I had the experience.

…if it’s gone.

That won’t stop me from writing about it here, of course. Although as far as yesterdays go, this one was nothing special.

I’ve decided to end my experiment with the “On this day” series of old blog posts. It was a pain in the ass and not all that interesting, even to me. For example, after scrolling through seventeen years of May 18, this was the best I had to offer: What a pisser. Maybe I’ll modify the concept by only posting when something significant occurred on that day. We’ll see.

Of course, in addition to the blog archives, I’ve got Facebook besieging me with memories all the time. The hardest ones to take are the photos of Jee Yeun and me sharing what I thought was a happy life. But other ones aren’t so bad:

After doing my weekly grocery shopping, I sent my driver and helper home without me. I walked over to the mall to fill in some of the missing pieces in my life, like a fast charger for my phone and some socks. Got the charger, still looking for the socks.

I was first in darts last night. First out, that is. I had a rookie partner, and his darts were, um, all over the place inconsistent. Still, I don’t mind playing with a newbie, especially if they are willing to listen and learn. I can’t tell you how to hit a target; that comes from practice. I can, however, tell you which target to aim for and why. The guy I was partnered with last night appreciated that and seemed to understand the concepts. He’ll be OK with a bit more practice.

I was surprised to see it raining when I left Alley Cats. Hard! I made a dash across the highway and into Mango’s for some supper and didn’t get too soaked. Ordered up my usual pork chops but was told they were out of stock.

Speaking of weight loss–I did my weekly weigh-in and came in at 213.8–that’s a loss of 2.3 pounds. It’s a start; still a long way to go to get to 199 again. More gin, less beer!

It’s not raining this morning, so I’m off for the Wednesday Walkers gathering. Dart league in the afternoon on Baloy Beach. Looks like I’ll be making some new old memories.

“There’s no time to lose,” I heard her say
“Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind
Ain’t life unkind?”

I hope so anyway. At least. Whatever the future holds, I have now arrived at the fourth anniversary of my move to the Philippines. To the extent that I had a plan, things haven’t gone the way I expected. On the other hand, it’s been an interesting journey on the road to the unknown. I’m probably as happy as I’m ever going to be, given the nature of my personality. And while I’ve experienced some setbacks and disappointments, on balance, I’m living the dream. Seriously, I’m a 66-year-old man spending his golden years surrounded by hot young Filipinas. Beats the hell out of being stuck in some sterile retirement home environment. Sometimes you just have to embrace life for what it is and know that each day is a new adventure with an unforeseeable outcome. I’m getting better at doing that. So, my big insight on living four years in the Philippines is simply this: I’m a lucky bastard!

I did expect I’d be in a loving relationship by now. None of my feeble attempts at achieving that goal have worked out. In retrospect, perhaps that’s for the best. It’s far better to be alone than to be with the wrong one.

Anyway, I’m growing more and more accustomed to the life of a single man, and it certainly has its benefits. Lots of guys I know who are in relationships seem to envy my lifestyle for some reason. Maybe variety truly is the spice of life!

Take yesterday, for instance. I got my grocery shopping out of the way, then the mountain girl came over and gave me the kind of massage I really enjoy. After that, I baked up some brownies and delivered them to Joy at Hideaway.

Next up was the darts tournament at Alley Cats.

Last night was also the first go at taking steps to reduce my beer belly by reducing my beer intake. The scale will be the ultimate judge (I’ll weigh in again next Tuesday), but I had around 50% fewer beers than usual, so that’s a good start.

And then, after darts, I wandered over to Mango’s for some chow.

I finished my night with a stopoff at Whiskey Girl bar. Haven’t been in there for quite some time. Under new management and I must say the gals were friendly and good looking. Given my beer reduction goals, I only stayed for one beer. Bought two lady drinks for the gals who kept me company though.

So, that’s how I roll in my little retirement village known as Barrio Barretto. Long may I live!

Had a very pleasant hike with the Wednesday Walkers this morning. The dart league match this afternoon is at It Doesn’t Matter. I’ve never thrown there before, it should be fun. Full report tomorrow.

Here’s a little vocabulary lesson before I go:

Yesterday I spent some quality time doing what I do best–hiking, darting, and drinking. I’ll go into a bit more detail in reverse order. Oh, and just a quick update–Lyn didn’t make it yesterday, but she is en route now. So, if nothing else I’ll have some new material to blog about soon. Alright, on with today’s report.

After darts, I needed to get busy using some of those drinking coupons I won at the raffle. So, my first stop was Alaska Club. I had a buy one drink get one chit and ordered up my usual San Mig Zero (60 calories, 3% alcohol). Exchanged pleasantries with owner Jerry and bought my waitress a drink. There were four dancers on stage and one of them knew me by name but I had no recollection of her at all. I decided to call her down for a drink and a closer look.

We had a chat and she mentioned there was going to be a pool tournament in the bar later on. I asked if she played and she said she’d like to, but didn’t have money for the entry fee. So, I sponsored her with the required 200 pesos. She has her own pool cue and everything. I didn’t stick around after my “free” beer though, so don’t know how she did.

Next stop was Wet Spot. I also had a buy one get one coupon here, so ordered up. I didn’t notice either of my regulars here, so just watched the dancers on stage and sipped my beer. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Aine appeared.

I had a buy a lady drink, get a customer drink coupon, so I put it to use. So, now I had two additional beers in my queue. Oh well. Aine was cold so we snuggled up some. Just small talk and then it was time for me to head out. As I was leaving, I ran into owner Dave, and he gave me another beer on the house. How could I refuse?

I had planned to visit Hot Zone next, but they were inexplicably closed (I learned later that the owner had taken his staff for an outing in Angeles City). I had to pee, so I crossed the street to Cheap Charlies.

A successful afternoon of darting too. We played the Queen Victoria team at Queen Vic and pounded them 11-2. My darts were all over the place, but I somehow managed to hit the bullseye often enough to go undefeated.

And that leaves hiking. But before I get to the Wednesday Walkers excursion, I need to share this memory from four years ago:

It was a good Wednesday!

Lyn should be arriving momentarily, so need to run for now. Stick around, it could get interesting!

…or am I just apathetic? Well, I don’t know, and I don’t care!

Sorry for the old joke. I thought of it because when I was responding to a question in the comments I got to thinking about my days as a mailman and some of the shit I would say to my supervisor. My being a smart-ass ultimately led to discipline and to me becoming a union steward to defend myself and other like-minded individuals. Which eventually resulted in my promotion to the management team in labor relations. By the end of my career journey, I was the Human Resources Manager for USFK/8th Army in Korea. It was quite a ride with lots of trials, tribulations, and adventures along the way. I mostly enjoyed the hell out of it.

Ah, well. I’m just another old man remembering the glory days.

Here in the present, life keeps plodding forward. Although I guess it might seem like a broken record. Geez, even my metaphors are aged. Who even remembers playing a damaged album on a record player? Anyway, you know what I mean. I hope.

Dinner at John’s Sushi and Steak last night. Although I had neither.

Yes, you read that right. I did indeed have a “date”.

As hard as it may be to believe, this 66-year-old man was out on the town and dining with a sweet 23-year-old woman. It was Joy’s idea to get together, although she had something else in mind. I wasn’t in the mood for tomfoolery, so I invited her to dinner instead. I gave her a nice tip for her trouble and time at the end of the evening. I guess that’s a win-win.

Honestly, I’m tired of questioning the lifestyle and my motives. It is what it is and I may as well make the best of it and enjoy myself. I’m a failure at love relationships but I can partake in the company of various young women to help fill the void. Maybe that’s enough.

After saying goodnight to Joy, I had some beers with Agnes at It Doesn’t Matter. I teased the owner about adding “we provide prompt service no matter how long it takes” as the bar’s motto, but I guess he didn’t see the humor in it. He said they will be making some changes to speed things up. I felt bad because I wasn’t really complaining, just trying to make a joke. Ah well.

I finished my night at one of the new places in town:

Thanks for dropping by. It’s good to have folks to share my glory days with.

In fact I think I'm going down to the well tonight
And I'm gonna drink till I get my fill
And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it
But I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
A little of the glory yeah
Well time slips away and leaves you with nothing, mister, but
Boring stories of

Glory days, well they'll pass you by
Glory days, in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days

Some good comments on yesterday’s post, hope you’ll check them out if you haven’t already. I spent more time on my responses than I did on the original post, Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but I do enjoy the interactions with my readers.

Another whacked Wednesday is in the books. I’ll share some photos from the group hike at the end of this post. Dart league went well, with Lagoon defeating the Alley Hideout team, 9-4. I lost a singles game I shouldn’t have, but otherwise played well. Since I was already out in Baloy beach, I headed over to McCoy’s for a couple more beers after our match was over.

It was okay, I guess. But about three bites in, that hard shell exploded spewing some of the contents onto my shirt and shorts. And no, I wasn’t that drunk. The problem was I was wearing white shorts and now they were covered in red stains. There was no water available, so I poured some beer onto the mess and diluted the redness somewhat. My helper was able to clean the stains away this morning, so no great tragedy. Do I live an exciting life, or what?

Took a trike back into Barretto, and visited Joy in Hideaway for a bit. Then I moved on to Cheap Charlies, before finishing my evening at Wet Spot.

Had a little excitement on the dog walk this morning.

The excitement I mentioned came a couple of minutes later as I continued walking up the street–I encountered a live snake on the sidewalk! Appeared to be at least five feet long, but it slithered into the grass before I could snap a picture. Interestingly, the only place I’ve ever seen a snake in the Philippines is here in my neighborhood. And this is the first live snake I’ve come across. So, I know that snakes are out there but on all my hikes through the wilds, I’ve not witnessed any sign of those reptilian bastards. I hope it stays that way. A snakebite is not on my list of ways I might die in the Philippines.

Alright, the Wednesday Walkers did a pleasant enough hike through Alta Vista, over the My Bitch trail, then back down into the Naugsol valley. Nothing new or particularly exciting–and no signs of snakes!

Relive the hike here if you’d like:

Time marches on and so did we! More to come.

More of the same old, same old around here. Hiking group, darts, dinner at Mango’s, then home to bed. This weekend though, I’ll be changing it up. The FRA (Fleet Reserve Association) is having its annual Fralics event in San Antonio. Today there is a chili cooking competition and tomorrow is a beauty pageant. It’s being held in San Antonio, a town I always enjoy visiting. So, I’m looking forward to attending and having something new to blog about. Yay!

A small group for yesterday’s hike. I led the first half, taking us up the mountain on the My Bitch trail. Almoranus took over and led us back down to the valley and around San Isidro, then back to Alta Vista. Only about 6K, but pleasant.

You can Relive the hike here if you so choose:

After the hike, plenty of time to rest up and clean up before I headed out for the Friday night dart tourney at Alley Cats. Mediocre performance in the early going, but I got better as the night went on. The highlight was beating Beth, who had put me in the loser’s bracket, in a tightly contested, well-thrown game.

Had dinner with Julie after the tournament. We are still just friends, but she had requested to meet up in order to repay some money I had loaned her. And in so doing she has the honor of being the ONLY Filipina who has ever repaid a “loan” from me. Congrats and thank you!

Alright, time to get ready for my San Antonio adventure!

We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I'm really with you now
Or just chasing after some finer day.

Anticipation, anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting

So, a reader’s comment about me someday looking back at my life and realizing I’m currently living through my good ol’ days triggered a memory–Carly Simon’s 1971 hit song Anticipation. And it also underscored similar feelings I’ve been having lately–these very well may be the best of times. Am I smart enough to embrace them and allow myself to let go of the past and be happy with the life I have? Well, there’s only one way to find out. Live it and love it is my new mantra.

Last night I discovered I do not have a drinking problem. By my count, I consumed twelve bottles of beer before my self-imposed curfew of 9:00 p.m. Yeah, I know that’s pretty damn impressive. Granted, they were San Miguel Zero (only 3% alcohol), but still.

I started my evening at the Hideaway bar. Three bottles for me and three lady drinks for my pal Joy. Everyone seemed to enjoy my brownies too. Then I decided to head over to John’s place and grab a bite to eat.

On the way out, I passed this vendor:

Got to John’s place and headed upstairs. And there racking up the pool balls was my friend and ex, Jessa. I had forgotten she started working there. Naturally, I invited her to join me for a beer. Then we ate (chicken wings and chicken fingers). The beer kept flowing and we had some good talk and a few laughs. She seems to be doing well despite the recent breakup with her fiance. I guess I could learn from her example.

Here’s the newest joke in my repertoire: “Okay, I’m going to ask you three questions. Each question has the same answer. And I’m going to give you the answer to the questions: addicted. Are you ready? Okay, what do you call someone who drinks alcohol all day long and then passes out on the floor? Addicted. Good! What do you call someone who uses drugs every day and can’t function without them? Addicted. Right! Last question: What slapped you in the face this morning? Addicted…hey! (laughter) Get it?

Jessa’s quitting time was 7:00, but she stayed on with me. When it came time to go, I had amassed a bill of over 2500 pesos ($50). That included my nine bottles of beer, Jessa’s lady drinks, and our food. So, that’s what an “expensive” night out looks like in the Philippines. The best of times, indeed!

And I tell you how easy it feels to be with you
How right your arms feel around me.
But I, I rehearsed those words just late last night
When I was thinking about how right tonight might be.

Anticipation, anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting

Woke up at my usual 0430, none the worse for wear. Completed my usual routines, then headed out for the Friday group hike. The schedule Hare for Monday’s Hash had to cancel, so Jim and Troy stepped up to take his place. Our Friday hike became a scouting expedition for Monday’s trail. We took a Jeepney ride three kilometers or so up the highway and began our hike there. The problem with scouting a trail is you’ll make a climb, hit a dead end, come back down, and try again. That gets tiring pretty quick. Scott and I bailed after a while and walked back to town on the highway.

Here are some photos for you:

I don’t know why I feel like such a fool today.

Anyway, it’s a good life and I’m glad I have it. I will throw some darts and drink some beers later on and make it the best of times!

And tomorrow we might not be together
I'm no prophet, lord I don't know nature's way
So I'll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days.

I actually used to own this album. Good stuff!

I guess I’m on a roll. But anyway, I’m more accepting lately of the way things are and I’m willing to just make the best of what may well prove to be a loveless life. Looking at things from a more positive perspective it might just be that I’m in for a lot of fun to come. Maybe starting tomorrow when Thalia comes to visit from Angeles. A few days ago I had mixed feelings about hooking up with a virtual stranger, now I am all “bring it on, and let’s see what happens.” Since I have no real expectations it’s gonna be damned hard to disappoint me, right?

Most of the commenters there gave a one-word response and the majority said “freedom”. My friend Jeremy (yeah, the guy who was recently released after serving six years in a Korean prison) had this to say:

I'd call it too much time on your hands to think about the wrong kind of stupid ass philosophical questions that are causing you to feel sorry for yourself and force you into a state of self-induced misery.

When you hang out with twenty-year old women, you can't expect true intimate companionship. You can buy it, and the more money that you have, the more they'll pretend that they love you. A woman's age and a man's wealth are inversely proportional and conducive to the happiness of the other.

If you call it freedom, you'll feel liberated. If you call it loneliness, you'll feel depressed. That's how the mind works. You have to send positive thoughts into your mind so that you can have positive emotions. In doing so, others will sense those positive vibes. However, the reverse is also true.

It's also important to have a good group of friends. If youre always talking about the good ole days and times gone by, then all that'll do is cause you to feel depressed because nostalgia is a motherfucker. It's not your friend. It always paints the prettiest picture of even the shittiest situations because the mind doesnt like negativity. The body doesnt like it, either. It doesnt perform its functions as well when it's in a negative state - mental, physical, spiritual, or emotional.

If you want companionship, John, then you need to find somebody your own age. If you want somebody to fuck, then youre going to have to pay for it, especially in the Philippines. Of course, you could always try the traditional courting methods of the Filipinos to see if they started showing interest or the family would accept the relationship.

With love ❤

That bitch-slap had a familiar ring to it, as commenters here have told me the same thing more than once. Some have even given up, considering me a lost cause. Well, as long as I am breathing there is still hope I’ll wise up I suppose. And as I said above, I really am trying to embrace a new “I don’t give a shit, let’s see what happens” attitude. And two of the women in my dating queue are also in their 40s, so we’ll see if I can erect something of substance with one of them.

Oh, and Jeremy also provided this link to courtship customs in the Philippines. Maybe this old dog needs new tricks!

Otherwise, it is just more of the same around here. I did one of my standard street walks yesterday. Nothing really special, but you can Relive it if you choose.

Highlights on the walk did include my favorite view from my street here in Alta Vista:

I also ran into “mama” taking a nap in front of a closed business:

And near the end of my hike I popped into Sit-n-Bull for a quick lunch:

Last night I watched the sun go down from my perch at Cheap Charlies:

And my company was bought and paid for with the price of a couple of lady drinks.

So yeah, I’m going to be just fine. Can’t wait to find out what happens next.

Or more importantly, let there be fans!

A power outage at oh-dark-thirty. I woke up a sweaty mess with no way to escape the heat. Best I could do was open the patio door and catch what breeze I could by laying on the couch. Power was finally restored at 0300 but by then any hope for a sound sleep was dashed. Oh well, that’s the way it goes sometimes.

I was also pretty much powerless earlier in the afternoon, contributing my fair share to an embarrassing 10-3 loss in dart league. Yeah, we were playing the first-place team but we’re in second and thought we might have a chance to move up. Nope, not this time.

After darts, I walked down the beach to McCoy’s and did some more beer drinking. Ran into a female Hasher I know there and she asked when I was going to take her home with me. Hmm. Not tonight, I told her. I was more in the mood to drink than I was to fuck, which tells you all you need to know about my state of mind. Later on, I did meet up with another gal I’m friends with. We sang some songs together at videoke and she professed to have had a good time. See, I may be lonely, but I’m not alone. Trying to get better at embracing the positives in my life.

Speaking of which, I always try to check that I haven’t used a post title previously. When doing so, sometimes I look at an old post to see what I was up to back in the day. I saw this one today from June 2005 and I was thinking “damn, not much has changed.” Still, got to re-read an Easter meditation from Kevin Kim that was one of the triggers that made me a devoted reader of his blog for all these years. And even if I haven’t “put it down” all that successfully, my life has been an interesting journey since that time. I really do believe I’m going to get back in the flow of things here soon. It may not always be the life I wanted, but it’s the life I’ve got and I ought to be glad to have it.

That’s as good a lead-in for yesterday’s Wednesday Walkers group gathering as any I suppose. We took a Jeepney into Olongapo, climbed up to the ridgeline, took some seldom used paths, and made a fine morning of it. Pictures tell the story better than I can, so here you go:

And that was my Wednesday. I’ve had worse. I’ll have better.

Although in my case, it seems to repel rather than attract. It appears my efforts to entice “Jenny” into getting to know me better have been fruitless. Well, if she ain’t interested there’s nothing I can do except keep moving on. Disappointing though, she was someone I would have enjoyed spending time with.

I’m not sure what happens next. The gal I invited to the Hash didn’t show and hasn’t responded to my messages, so fuck her. Er, I guess I won’t be fucking her, but you know what I mean. Last night I was teasing the gal at Alley Cats I was jonesing for last summer, but it seems clear that I am just a customer to her. That’s fine. Then there is a school teacher from Olongapo I got introduced to last week. She’s been chatting me up some on messenger, but I’m just not feeling any real attraction from my end. I guess the biggest potential thing on the horizon is this gal I “met” on the Date in Asia site. She lives in Angeles (works in a call center, not a bar). In her early 40s with two grown kids. The most interesting thing about her so far is that 20 years ago or so she used to Hash here in Subic. Her Hash name is Sweet Hash Hole. Anyway, she wants to come back for a Hash and may do so this weekend. Of course, she plans on staying with me. I’m not totally comfortable with that since we’ve never met in person, but damn, I’ve been on such a losing streak lately I didn’t want to say no. I’m thinking if we don’t click I’ll just rent her a hotel room for the weekend.

We’ll see what happens.

I may not be winning in the game of love, but my darts are flying okay. At least they did last night.

Speaking of magnets, I received some in the mail from my friend, Maria, who created the designs from photos she found on the blog. Yep, she’s a regular reader here and comments as BW.

And then there is this haunting photo underscoring the pain and loss that comes with a failed relationship:

Good job, Maria. Thank you again.

Good hard hike this morning, now it’s time to get ready for dart league. See you back here tomorrow!

Well, technically we had Hares, just not the one who was scheduled to be here. Slimey Limey (aka Wild Wolf) is probably one of the best-known Hashers in the PI, if not all of Asia. He was doing a Hash in Angeles on Sunday and then coming here to do our trail yesterday. Apparently, the Bureau of Immigration had other ideas. The Corona Hash circle was raided and Slimey was taken away in handcuffs. I don’t envy him, I heard the lockup where they keep immigration violators is a real hellhole. God only knows how long they will hold him there before actually processing his deportation. And no, I don’t have the details about how he ran afoul of the law. He had talked about losing a court case in a property dispute and that deportation proceedings were taking place a year or so ago, but it seems the resolution was not in his favor. Really a shame because he’s a great guy. I wish him good luck in a future that will not include his beloved Philippines.

When the news reached Barretto, two of our Hashers (Demolition Derby and Blow My Pipe) stepped up and went out Monday morning to lay a trail. Given the circumstances, they did a great job. A lot of the turf has been frequently Hashed, but they did manage to add a couple of twists and turns that were unusual. Well done, gents.

I had invited a lady friend to join us at the Hash but she was a no-show. When the Hash ended, I walked up the beach to McCoy’s and got drunk(er) alone. Even sang “Crazy” by Patsy Cline on the videoke machine. Yeah, that’s how bad off I was. I really need to get my shit together and not let these Filipinas continue to disappoint me. Hey, it’s their loss, right?

Yep, one of those kind of days. Things got off to a crappy start around 1 a.m. when I woke up with a toothache. Well, not exactly a toothache–the pain seemed to be emanating from the hole left behind when I had a tooth pulled a couple of years ago. Got up and took some aspirin and was eventually able to fall back to sleep.

Then, a little after 3 a.m. I was again awakened; this time by my window blinds tapping against the glass. It seems my fan was positioned in such a way that the wind it generated was hitting the blinds and creating enough noise to be irksome.

So, to eliminate the noise I sleepily reached out intending to turn the fan away from the window. It didn’t end well.

Needless to say, there was no more sleep for me that night. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, but I felt like shit all day yesterday. After doing my dog walk, I didn’t have the energy to do my regular walk. I decided I’d walk in the afternoon instead, so I took a nap. The afternoon came and went and all I accomplished was another nap. I had promised a friend I’d take her to see the Central Park Reef hotel rooftop restaurant/pool area. I maybe should have canceled but didn’t want to disappoint her. She also needed some gas money (yeah, gasoline prices have gone through the roof here too) so I felt obligated to show up.

I got there a little early so snapped a couple of photos.

My guest arrived and was very delighted with the views from the rooftop. We had some beers and I ordered a couple of appetizers. She had forewarned me that because she has work early in the morning she wouldn’t be spending the night with me. That was fine with me, I wasn’t in the mood for sex anyway. See? I told you I wasn’t feeling well! And actually, I’d like to stay focused on getting Jenny to give me a try. My friend last night is not a long-term option.

And then the band started playing. Maybe because it was Sunday it wasn’t that loud ass out-of-tune rock music, instead, they played a set of folk songs. Even more surprisingly, they played well and the vocal harmonies were outstanding. I rarely enjoy live performances by amateur groups, but these guys were quite pleasant. After their first set, they left the stage and came around to the individual tables to play. When they got to ours I told them they reminded me of Peter, Paul, and Mary (even though they were all guys). Without further prompting they broke into Puff the Magic Dragon, and did a nice job with it.

I was fading fast so I said it was time to go. My guest insisted on driving me home. As we were leaving, “Jenny” came walking in with some guy. That was weird on many levels. I think she was just as surprised as I was. Anyway, we chatted later and it’s all cool. I hope.

A good night’s sleep and I am feeling 82% better this morning. That’s a good thing because it is Hash Monday. Hope I’m up for it.

And that brings y’all up to date on my so-called life. Boring as it may be to read about, I’m not complaining. Much.

Along with my fellow Hares (Blow My Pipe and Pubic Head), we pulled off a successful Hash yesterday. We had a huge turnout of around 60, with many new old faces in attendance–the folks who have been stuck in their home countries all these long months when visitors weren’t allowed. Good to see them back with more still on the way.

The feedback on the trail was mostly positive. I walked the first half again with the “sane” group and heard many comments like “I’ve lived here X years and have never been back here in this neighborhood”. Goal achieved! Folks also enjoyed the off-road portion, with a couple of relatively easy climbs. Anyway, being a Hare can be a challenge and you can’t please everyone, but yesterday seemed to have worked for most everyone. I’d call that a win.

Hash day is a good way to forget about everything else for a while.

It sure is hard to figure life out sometimes, but it sure as hell beats the alternative. The life I imagined and the life I am living are poles apart, but then again, that doesn’t make it better or worse. Not exactly an epiphany, but last night as I was sipping a beer I had a vision of my former suburban life as a retiree in the USA. I had some darts a couple of nights a week, an occasional weekend getaway, but otherwise, it was mostly sitting in front of the computer or watching TV. Damn, I got bored just typing that sentence! The point, to the extent there is one, is simply that the life you have is the one you got so make the most of it. You can be both happy and bored, especially if you don’t know what you are missing out on. I’m trying to get reconciled to my new old single life, and it is easy to lament what you’ve lost rather than embrace what you have. A year from now I might look back and remember this time as good ol’ days. It’s really not so bad.

Last evening was another opportunity to ensure my bargirl friends earned some lady drink commissions. I spent most of my time at It Doesn’t Matter quenching the thirst of Agnes and Roan.

Anyway, it is now well understood that I am nothing but a customer, and spending time with me is just part of the job. That’s just the way the game is played. Nothing to feel bad about.

After I left IDM, I stopped into BarCelona for a couple more before heading home. Engaged my favorite there, Kira, in some banter. In the course of our conversation, she also made it clear that work is work, and after work, she’s all about spending time with her kids. No room for a man in her life she says. And I’m man enough to not take a bargirl’s rejection personally.

Hash Monday has arrived. Went out this morning and put the finishing touches on our trail. I’m pretty happy with it…longish but mostly flat. I’ll let you know how my fellow Hashers feel about that tomorrow. You can get a taste of what the kennel is in for here:

I hadn’t thought about the M.A.S.H. theme song in forever, but it came up in a Quora forum I was reading this morning. The words weren’t featured in the television show (just the music) but seeing them again triggered some emotions. Oddly enough, the song was supposed to be silly/stupid–the lyrics were written by a 14-year-old if Quora is to be believed anyway. What do you think?

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please


That game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The sword of time will pierce our skin
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger, watch it grin

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
"Is it to be or not to be?"
And I replied, "Oh, why ask me?"

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I...

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And you can do the same thing if you please

I’m choosing life. I can hardly wait to see what happens next!

Run #1482 of the Subic Bay Hash House Harriers is in the books! I am one of the survivors, along with everyone else who participated. We did a Leech My Nuggets trail to the top of Kalaklan ridge, then back down on a path called Motherfucker. It is aptly named, although I prefer the steep down than climbing that, er, motherfucker. A challenging trail, as is expected when Leech is the Hare, but well-marked and scenic. It was a beautiful day to Hash, although a tad on the hot side. Let’s go to the photos, shall we?

And that’s pretty much the story of our Hash adventure. On-Home at VFW. Beers were drunk, songs were sung, and another day in the life drew to a close.

Well, after the Hash I went to see my GF at her resto, then she joined me at my place for smoothies and some Cobra Kai. Finished season 1 now so I can go and read Kevin’s review. I’m still trying to decide what I think. Was never really a fan of the original Karate Kid flicks, but then again, with a beautiful woman sitting next to me on the couch I’m easily entertained.

I didn’t engage in the formal New Year’s resolution game. That said, I do have good intentions about changing some of my outlooks and perspectives on life. Might as well emphasize the positives rather than lament the losses. And when I take a step back and look at what I have, well, there’s a helluva lot to be thankful for. It’s not always easy to escape the trap of thinking in terms of what you want and don’t have or to focus on what you had and lost, but really those issues are trivial in the grand scheme of things. Or so I keep telling myself.

Anyway, I have my life. 66 years old and still hitting the hiking trails, dart boards, and bars. That I’m still healthy enough to do the things I most enjoy is a blessing beyond measure.

I had another nice hike today with the Wednesday Walkers. The social aspects of the group treks are perhaps the best part of the journey. Getting out and exploring new territory, enjoying the beauty that surrounds us, and sharing in the sense of adventure as we make our way is truly something special.

And then there’s my drinking life. I’m actually a lonely guy most of the time, so spending time in the bars with my bar “friends” and acquaintances more or less fills that void. I’m not foolish enough to believe that the gals I ply with drinks actually care about me, but that doesn’t stop us from having a good time either. I’m not even sure what is real anymore. I thought the love I briefly shared with XXXX was something special and amazing. But even in my disappointment in discovering that her version of love was unworthy of mine, I was reminded of an important lesson: people will reveal to you the true nature of their character if you keep your wits about you and your eyes wide open.

Another side benefit to my nightly bar excursions is eating out.

Anyway, if there is a point to this pointless post it is that I’m doing alright. I guess some of my posts on Facebook have made some people concerned about the state of my emotional health. One friend has committed to finding me a girlfriend to start the new year. HaHa, I don’t think that’s the kind of help I need, but I do appreciate the sentiment. Sometimes the pain and disappointment you encounter in life lead you to realize what is most important. I’m doing alright with the things that matter most. As long as I hold on to that foundation, I’ll be just fine. As they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

As I’ve gone through this period of reflection I have rediscovered one of the things that bring me comfort during times of emotional turmoil–poetry. In particular, one of my favorites, James Kavanaugh. I lost almost all of my library when I moved to Korea and wife #3 divorced me. I did manage to salvage a few of my poetry books, including this one:

This is from the introduction to the book:

I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know–unless it be to share our laughter.

We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we want to love and be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or to compete for love.

This is a book for wanderers, dreamers and lovers, for lonely men and women who dare to ask of life everything good and beautiful. If is for those who are too gentle to live among wolves.

A good reminder to not settle for less than you desire. There are worse things than being alone.