I got lucky last night! No, not in THAT way, but still. Here’s how it went down.

I had promised Nikki, the waitress at Whiskey Girl I drank with on Thursday, that I’d bring the brownies she’d been craving on Saturday. So, I baked up a batch before heading out. Whiskey Girl doesn’t open until 6:00, and I didn’t want to wait that long for liquid refreshment, so I made Sloppy Joe’s my first stop.

I arrived a little before five and was surprised to see so few customers and no one I knew. The music was playing loud, but at least the playlist was classic rock that I could enjoy. I started into my downing San Mig Zeros routine and ignored my waitress’s not-so-subtle hints that she was thirsty for a drink commission. I’m really trying to up my game in that regard. Anyhoo, around about 5:30, the Sit-n-Bull waitress came by, so I ordered a burrito for me and some lumpia to share with the girls. I also relented and sprang for a lady drink for the waitress. When the food arrived, I started to chow down, and my waitress friend informed me she was off-duty at six and going home. Ah, so much for my dinner party. She didn’t share the lumpia either. Lesson learned. Or, knowing me, maybe not.

I ordered my last beer and paid my tab. Just before I finished my beer, Jim came in and joined me at my table. He plays golf on Saturday and had been drinking at other venues all afternoon. I told him I was heading out to Whiskey Girl and invited him to join me, and he indicated he would come by later. When I arrived at WG, my regular gal Jenn escorted me to my table, and my backup Kim was close behind. Well, Jenn was there first, and I gently let Kim know I wouldn’t be buying them both lady drinks all night. I sensed a slight attitude shift, but she continued to provide good service.

The owner of Whiskey Girl was in town and throwing a big party for his customers last night. The festivities included a raffle drawing for cash once an hour. The first drawing was at 8:00 with a 1000 peso prize. The amount would double every hour until 10:00. There was also a big pot for a pool tournament scheduled to begin at 9:00. The same guy also owns Voodoo and La Oficina, so he had some select dancers from those bars join the Whiskey Girl crew for the night. It’s good I got there when I did because, by 7:00, the place was getting packed. Some familiar faces were there, including Dr. Jo and her husband Chris.

Oh, and what about Nikki and the brownies? Nikki didn’t show up for work, so she missed out again. The other gals seemed to enjoy them a lot, though. So, her loss.

Jim eventually arrived and sat next to me and Jenn. He relieved me of some pressure by buying Kim and another waitress lady drinks, and we settled in to enjoy the party atmosphere. Every time you purchased a drink (or a lady drink), you received a raffle coupon. By the first drawing, I had accumulated a nice little stack with my name on them. Sure enough, when the first drawing took place, they called out “Gwapo!” (my bar name). I walked to the stage and happily collected my prize.

Jim was done for the night, and I wasn’t far behind. Didn’t want to miss my 9:00 p.m. bedtime! I gave Jenn half of my winnings and tipped Kim 170 pesos (the same amount I would have paid for the lady drink I would have bought her eventually, but she got it all), and everyone seemed happy when I left. When I said goodbye to the group at the table where Dr. Jo was seated, I announced, “I’m leaving early because my doctor says I need to drink in moderation.” That got a laugh. I had to walk all the way to the 7/11 to catch a trike, but I made it home safe and mostly sound.

In other news, I heard from my current landlord yesterday, and he has found a replacement tenant for me. I was happy to hear that because I felt guilty about breaking my lease. My landlord asked if I would mind answering some questions for the incoming resident, and naturally, I agreed. We got hooked up on Messenger, and he is coming by on Monday to chat and look around.

I move into the new place in two weeks and began packing some stuff I don’t use much yesterday. I’d forgotten about this Hash shirt I never wear:

I mentioned yesterday that I’ve been sharing mask and vaxx memes to show support and solidarity with the growing chorus of voices saying we won’t get fooled again. Unlike during the scamdemic, Facebook hasn’t been blocking them. Yet. Still, they are causing some of my liberal friends to offer rebuttals–all saying I’m stupid. I just respond, “thank you for your feedback.” Here’s today’s version:

I don’t follow many expat vloggers, but this guy is one of the better ones. I just happened to come across this account of how he discovered his Filipina fiancée was cheating on him. Some of the circumstances were a little too close to things I’ve experienced for comfort. Anyway, he offers some good insights and advice. Give it a look if you are so inclined.

Let’s end today’s post on a lighter note:

My Friday began with a pleasant morning stroll. Only one other participant showed up for the group hike, but hey, four legs are better than two, right?

I confined myself to one bar last night–Queen Victoria for the SOB competition. I arrived around 4:30 to ensure I got a good seat and so I got to watch the Queen Vic girls practicing their routine. I was very impressed with the energy and devotion to detail they demonstrated. All the teams put on a good show, but in the end I ranked the top four as La Oficina, Queen Victoria, Alaska, and Wet Spot.

The other judges didn’t see it quite that way:

A slight controversy developed after the SOB when the Queen Vic owner posted on Facebook that his girls were discouraged from having finished fourth two weeks in a row despite all their hard work. It happens that way sometimes. I thought they were very good and are definitely improving week-to-week, but so are most of the other competitors. Don’t give up!

I don’t have any photos from this week’s performance, but here is a video of La Oficina last week if you care to see them in action:

And here are my raffle prizes this week:

I don’t bother much with politics on social media these days, it just seems so pointless. But I have witnessed a groundswell of memes being posted mocking the scamdemic Nazis. I’ve taken to sharing them to help spread the word that we won’t get fooled again.

The Wednesday Walkers ventured out to Tibag for a change of scenery. I always enjoy the beauty of the area, but because there is no easy way to get there without a vehicle, it’s a trip we only make once or twice a year. There were eight of us yesterday, and Ed squeezed us all into his Toyota Club cab pickup truck. It was a beautiful morning for a hike, right up to the point where we began to head back (meaning the furthest we would be from our transportation) when it began raining. Oh well, it did have a cooling effect, and once you are wet, what difference does it make?

I went straight home after the hike as I had a meeting with the landlord to sign a lease extension. Basically, I’ll pay my rent one year in advance, which helps her fund the ongoing repairs on the house. I initially only agreed to pay four months in advance, but I’m more comfortable now that everything is legit. Swan is moving her stuff out this weekend, so the time for the realignment is nearly upon us. We are going to have a get-together next week with some family and trusted friends of Swan’s, which I guess is our coming out with the “we’ll be living together” announcement. I’m still taking it one day at a time, but I feel a little more confident now that we can work it out.

The feeding at Hideaway went well. I again purchased food for the girls from the local vendor.

After Hideaway, I headed to the Green Room. Turns out, I’ve really created a problem for myself there. As soon as I sat down, I had several girls surrounding me. I absolutely hate that! It’s worse than dogs begging at the dinner table with those hungry eyes. Again, I’m not opposed to buying a lady drink or two, but I get to choose the when and the who. I finished my beer and left without buying any. And I even had a coupon that gave me a free beer if I bought a lady drink. I’m either going to have to toughen up and tell the girls there to leave me the hell alone or find another bar. There are plenty of options, after all.

Like next door at Alaska Club.

I did my nightcap next door at Wet Spot (the Maze really is aMAZEing in that regard), got myself a beer, and had a sandwich delivered from Sit-n-Bull (also next door) along with some food for my waitress and her pals. And that was it for me last night.

Drink responsibly, you say?

Back tomorrow with a full report. Hopefully.

When you ain’t got nothin’, but you owe your loyal readers their daily bread, this is what you get. Sorry!

Tuesdays are always on the blah side, but even the mundane chores need attending to, and I’m happy to report that the weekly grocery shopping excursion has been accomplished. I stayed when we dropped Swan off at her place to meet with the landlord. Progress continues on the repairs and improvements, and the house should be good to go, or at least good enough, come 1 October.

It rained for an hour or so, but by the time beer o’clock rolled around I was able to leave the house without an umbrella. I didn’t have an agenda in mind, but walking past Sloppy Joe’s I saw Chris, so went in the join him for a beer or three. Jim showed up a bit later, and we started an impromptu bar crawl with stops at Cheap Charlies, Voodoo, and Wet Spot. I ended my evening out there, and came home to enjoy some pecan pie a la mode before hitting the hay.

Tomorrow’s post will have more substance, including photos from the Wednesday Walkers hike in Tibag. I’ve also got the Hideaway feeding to attend to later today.

I’m not sure that this qualifies as a trend, but I’m seeing more and more memes like this one on my Facebook feed. Will people stand up to the authorities if they attempt another variant of the scamdemic? Perhaps there is hope.

Who knew I’d be singing and relating to those protest songs for the 1960s again.

My life was changed as a result of those attacks. It opened my eyes to some realities I had ignored as a member of the liberal hivemind. I came to understand that my primary source for news, The Washington Post, was little more than a purveyor of propaganda. I discovered other sources on the internet, like Instapundit, that helped me see the big picture and think for myself. I learned that the bias in the MSM is as much about what they DON’T report as it is about the lies they peddle. Coincidentally, I haven’t voted for a Democrat in a national election since. And ultimately, it led me to leave the cocoon of a sheltered American life and seek employment overseas. I was proud to spend the final years of my working life in support of the U.S. Army in Korea. It’s been said there is no going back, and in my case, that proved to be true. That’s why I live in the Philippines now.

After my morning coffee with Swan yesterday, I took the long way back to my place.

When the time arrived to pursue my love affair with beer, I hit the streets once again.

I popped into Jewel Café and placed the dinner order for the Hideaway crew.

After my aMAZEing experience the night before, I knew I wasn’t up for a bar crawl last night. I did, however, step up to Cheap Charlies for my nightcap.

I brought home a pecan pie from Sit-n-Bull as my bedtime snack and chalked up another day of stayin’ alive in the Philippines.

Here are a few Philippines-related tidbits I came across that some readers may find of interest.

There is also this news story about a foreigner who claims he was framed on drug charges by the government drug enforcement authorities. Scary shit, especially since he has been in jail for TWO years waiting for a hearing. That’s my nightmare scenario, so I try to avoid putting myself at risk as much as possible. I don’t drive here, I won’t allow myself to be around underage females, and I have no interest in illegal drugs whatsoever. This guy must have pissed off the wrong person, and that’s something you have to avoid as well. Good luck to him, although I wouldn’t bet on his chances to survive long enough to have a day in court.

Speaking of crime, there was a Filipino serial killer in Angeles City back in 2010 who targeted foreigners:

And that’s about it for now. It’s Hash Monday, and I’ll be meeting up with Pubic Head for our shortcut version of the trail. Getting to the start has me hiking some of My Bitch by myself again, but I’ll take it slow and watch my step. Assuming I survive, I’ll be back tomorrow with a full report.

Never forget! Remembering James Raymond Coyle and Samuel Oitice.

I stayed for two beers. Service was attentive, and there was no drink pressure. It doesn’t appear they employ GROs, just three or four waitresses. The music was good and played at a reasonable volume, and the video offerings on the several large-screen TVs looked entertaining. BarCelona is one of the nicer venues in town, ambiance-wise. I’m not sure why I don’t visit here more often. Must be not liking all those stairs you climb to get there.

Sloppy Joe’s has been buzzin’ of late, especially since the move. I always notice a large crowd when I pass by. So, I was surprised yesterday to see there were no other customers when I arrived. But it didn’t take long to discover why. There was no manager present (something I’d also never seen before), and the girls were playing their kind of music at full volume. If I weren’t on a mission, I’d have turned around and walked back out. Instead, I took the outdoor seat as far away from the blaring speaker as possible and ordered a beer.

As I was sipping my beer and trying to ignore the grating music (and the music is one of the things I usually like about this bar–when the manager or Chris is picking the songs), a guy I didn’t recognize wandered in off the street. Turns out, he was from out of town (up the highway in San Antonio) and had been surprised to discover Sloppy Joe’s was no longer where it used to be. Apparently, that was his preferred hangout when he made his bi-weekly visits to Barretto. He was shocked that the bar was empty last night and also disgusted by the music. He shouted at the girls to turn it down, and they complied, making it easier for us to converse. I enjoyed chatting and wound up staying for three beers.

I figured I’d better put some food in my belly to absorb those beers that were yet to come, so I made my way to the only restaurant in the Maze.

When I had visited Jollibee earlier in the week, I wanted to try their chicken burger but was told it would take fifteen minutes to prepare. So much for fast food. I’d been craving a chicken burger ever since, and the Maui-style sandwich sounded perfect for me.

Two more beers during the meal, and I was ready for bar number three of the night. The Green Room was the closest to my current whereabouts, so that’s where I went. It was packed and I didn’t see any available seating, so I kept on walking. That’s a nice aspect of the Maze, plenty of options and they are all nearby.

Once again, I was the only customer. I took a seat in front of the dance floor and ordered a beer. Regular readers know I’m not a big fan of the dancing bars; sometimes, they make me feel a little depressed. It’s got to be a hard job under the best of circumstances, but standing up there trying to act like you are having fun in a bar devoid of customers must be especially challenging. For me, there is also a “meat market” vibe with the girls on display for potential purchase (well, more like rental). Anyway, I’m not being critical; it is just not my thing. Even in the go-go bars, I tend to gravitate more to the waitresses.

Last night, five dancers were shuffling around on stage at La Oficina. I wasn’t foolish drunk enough to call them all down for a lady drink, but a couple of them were rather cute. Instead, I had my waitress change some hundreds into fifties and gave each dancer a tip.

The dancer third from the left was in the “I would if I could” category. The one on the far right surprised me by knowing my name. She told me she used to work at Whiskey Girl. And my waitress knew me as well, having formerly worked at Queen Victoria. Damn, this is such a small town!

Two more beers at La Oficina (I hate that name, by the way), and it was time for my fourth venue.

As the first bar I ever visited in the Philippines (back in its Angeles days), Alaska has always been a sentimental favorite. And now that it is located in the Maze, I will be visiting more often. It’s a friendly place, and I always feel at home here despite it being a dancing bar. Last night was no exception.

When I found out it was my waitress’s first night on the job, I naturally felt compelled to buy her a lady drink to welcome her onboard. (And that’s the first LD I bought all night. But not the last.)

Good times and two more beers to wash it all down.

I guess this has become one of my regular hangouts, but that comes with a price. As soon as I sat down, I was surrounded by four thirsty gals I’ve accommodated in the past. I usually try to limit my company to only two, but the previously consumed beers overrode my better judgment this time.

Still, I had the good sense to limit the drinks to one each, and then I made my escape next door to Wet Spot.

I had heard rumors that my Hash buddy Dave would be celebrating his birthday at Wet Spot last night. But he hadn’t shown by 9:00 and I knew it was time for me to get my ass home while I still could.

There you have it, a successful journey through the Maze. Six bars, fourteen beers (but who’s counting?), nine lady drinks (that I remember), and an experience that is unlikely to be repeated in this lifetime. I guess that qualifies as a good night!

And for the record, there was more to my day than over indulging in spirits and bargirls.

And I’ve been studying up to increase my pun repertoire.

I did have a bit of a hangover this morning, but I’ve recovered sufficiently to be able to enjoy a little more hair of the dog that bit me when I feed the girls at Hideaway later this evening.

Cheers!

Here’s how I saw things on Friday.

The usual afternoon rituals, then it was time to head back into town for the SOB.

I had arrived at Wet Spot around 4:30, and when the show finished at 8:00, I’d had my fill of Zeros. I’m such a lightweight nowadays, but maybe that’s a good thing.

I’ll be back out for more soon enough; it’s Saturday night, after all. I tentatively plan to do the Maze bar crawl, but we’ll see how I feel when I get there.

Oh, and I got a delivery today:

Which reminds me, the other day, I was wearing one of the “I’m not your Goddamn ATM” shirts Kevin had made for me. As I passed by a trike driver, he laughed and gave me a high-five. I guess he could relate.

I got it in my head to revisit all the bars in Barretto and then update the rankings of my personal favorites. Of course, that will require a period of weeks to complete, but you’ve got to start sometime, and last night seemed as good a time as any. And since I was having dinner at John’s place, I began my quest there.

I arrived at John’s place a little before five p.m., and as I began my ascent up the stairs to the rooftop, the dining room waitress said the bar wasn’t open. John said it was closed because the upstairs waitress hadn’t shown up for work. Alright then, I guess I’ll be sitting in the restaurant. Still, it is not a good sign when you are so understaffed that you can’t overcome a single absence. I very rarely frequent the bar at all; I come to John’s for the food. I know he has a pool tournament in the bar a couple of times a week, which at least brings in the players. Anyway, the bar review will have to wait for another day.

John’s is on the far side of town (from where I live) and on the side of the highway opposite the bay. My plan last night was to visit the bars on the same side of the road between John’s and The Maze. So, that would be It Doesn’t Matter, Voodoo, Bottoms Up, and Hot Zone.

I’ve been boycotting this bar because of a waitress insisting I violate Rule #1 (don’t be a sucker) by paying for her kid’s school supplies. Well, that’s not the bar’s fault, so I just needed to resolve the issue with the waitress. I’d already blocked her on Facebook, and when I arrived, she came out to hug me. I pushed her away, saying, “I don’t want that.” I could see that hurt her feelings, and she immediately turned around and went back inside. I didn’t see her for the rest of the night. That works for me.

IDM used to be my top-rated and favorite bar. That’s no longer the case, and it has nothing to do with the wayward waitress. Since the owner, Bob, died tragically, the whole vibe of the place has changed. I think it is slowly coming back, but Sloppy Joe’s has captured many of their former customers. I always sit outside, but there are two pool tables (with weekly tournaments) and a dart board inside. Not a bad place to hang out at all.

Two beers at IDM, then it was time to move on.

This is a girly bar (with dancers) and not the type of venue I regularly visit. I usually have a good time on the occasions that I do. Josie, probably the oldest bargirl in town, was on stage, and as usual, she came down to join me for a drink. This time, another dancer I’d never met before also came to my table. I usually don’t appreciate an uninvited guest, but that is the nature of the girly bar environment. And since I had a coupon giving me a free beer for every lady drink purchased, I figured, why not?

Lyn is relatively new at the bar, so she hadn’t heard any of my joke repertoire. That was a plus. They each wound up with two lady drinks, so that gave me four beers to consume before my departure. It’s a small and friendly bar with a decent lineup and worth a visit if you are out on a barhop.

I wasn’t allowed to take any pictures here, which is a shame because owner Jay consistently has the best lineups in town. Last night, they were all decked out in new and sexy uniforms. If girly bars are your thing, you need to visit the best of Barretto in this category. I only stayed for one beer here last night; just wasn’t feeling it.

As I departed Hot Zone, I realized I had somehow missed the bar next door, Bottoms Up. I haven’t visited that bar in over a year, and I’m just so used to walking by like it isn’t there that I briefly forgot my mission.

It’s a small bar with three or four dancers on the stage. One other customer besides me and it looked like he had tabled a couple of the girls.

As you can see, Nikole isn’t particularly young or pretty, but in my inebriated state, she seemed nice and friendly. Perhaps overly so. After I bought her a drink, she began rubbing up against me, but not with her hands. Again, that’s not unusual in this type of bar, but I normally don’t like touching beyond a shoulder rub. I could see I might be headed for trouble, so I finished my beer, gave Nikole a tip, and said goodnight. There is nothing wrong with the bar, especially if you like a cozy, hands-on (or ass-on) environment.

And that’s where my bar crawl ended.

Next time, I’ll do a bar crawl in the new Maze complex, visiting all six bars.

I went to Wet Spot for my nightcap, and my coupon was still valid, so I bought a lady drink for my waitress and one for Aine, thus earning two free beers in the process. The Wet Spot dancers were sporting new uniforms featuring a braless top.

I finished my beers and headed on home, a little later and a little drunker than normal. The sacrifices I make for my readers!

Another SOB Friday, so I’ll be back to Wet Spot tonight!

Such as it is. I mean, if you ain’t wet from the rain, you are gonna be wet with sweat. Still, it’s nice to hike in the sunshine anyway. The Wednesday Walkers convened for the first time in two weeks to enjoy a pleasant 8K trek from Waltermart back to Barretto via Naugsol, San Isidro, and Santo Tomas. And then, last night, I had my usual umbrella-less fun on the town, starting with the feeding at Hideaway. I had a discount coupon for Sit-n-Bull, so I planned to get some food there and supplement it with some cheap chicken. Joy messaged me that a food vendor was at the bar and asked if I would be willing to buy the girl’s food from her. Why not? I’m not eating it; they can have what they want. So, I used the coupon to get a lasagna order (Joy’s favorite) and some lumpia for the girls. And best of all, Sit-n-Bull delivers to Hideaway, so I didn’t have to wait around.

Here’s the story of the day in photos:

A shower, a nap, some blogging and baking, and it was time to head into town.

After a couple of hours of beers at Hideaway, I was ready for a change of scenery.

Nerissa’s big news is that she is preparing for a trip to France. Apparently, that will be the next step in an online romance she is having. I asked if her Frenchman had ever been to the Philippines, and Nerissa said he wouldn’t visit here because “it’s a third-world country.” Um, I’d rather live here than there, but maybe that’s just me. I did teach Nerissa the only French I know: ferme la bouche. It may come in handy if the guy keeps trash-talking the PI. She also said she has a girlfriend in London, encouraging her to move there. I just shook my head and wished her luck in whatever she decided to do.

My next stop was Adam’s Bar. I was the only customer, and my waitress advised me they don’t get busy until late. One beer and out for me. I finished my night on the town at Whiskey Girl.

As is my custom, I searched the archives to ensure this post has a unique title. I found one from February 2006 called “Back to normal,” so I added an “again” for today’s post. It was interesting to read how much my normal in 2006 differs from my normal today. Good times. It is a shame you don’t realize that while you are living them. I wish I could go back and truly appreciate the experience. That’s my concept of heaven, so if you are reading this, God, keep it in mind. I’m not in any hurry, though!

Here are the laughs for today:

It would be nice to be plugged in, but I’m sure there is something to be learned from this period of celibacy I’m currently undergoing.

I’ll be on my own again tonight and I’m thinking I’ll kick things off with some dinner at John’s place and then do a bar crawl from there. I’m planning to do a revisit/update of all the watering holes in town for the Bars of Barretto rankings. Tonight might be day one of that endeavor. Stay tuned.

The crazy rain continues to fall, night and day, with only brief interludes to sucker you outside to be dumped on.

Anyway, life goes on, rain or shine. I had business to attend to at Hideaway, so I ventured out in the wetness to do my Wednesday feeding.

There was some let-up in the rainfall, so I left the house a little earlier than normal to take advantage. For whatever good it did me. It did get me drinking sooner than I like, but what else can you do in stormy weather?

I stuck it out at Hideaway until around six, then made my way to Cheap Charlies. Jim was there, so I sat with him. Of course, Alma and Nerissa were there, wanting their thirst quenched, and I obliged them. A few beers later, Jim invited me to join him at Voodoo, and off we went. I hadn’t visited Voodoo in quite a while, and Josie was happy to see me again. Jim was meeting Troy later for a barhop, but I declined to participate. I was near my beer intake limit and was down to my last 1000 pesos. That’s one benefit of limiting the amount of money I carry when I go out–it saves me from making alcohol-induced bad judgments. Saw Jim and Troy walking as I rode the trike home and called out, “Fuck off, ya cunts!” as I passed by. Yep, going home early was the right decision.

Early to bed (8:30) and earlier to rise (3:30). That’s the way this old fart rolls these days. Rain and thunder with my morning coffee, but I stuck to my routines.

After coffee, the rain let up some, and I decided to get some steps in with a neighborhood walk.

In other news, the water in the house isn’t working. I sent my helper Teri to find out why, and she reported they shut it off for non-payment of the bill. WTF? I never got a bill, and I check the mailbox every morning. They also told Teri we owed 3700 pesos. That’s insane. The water bill is never more than 500 pesos, and we paid it last month. This is some kind of weird scam, but there is nothing I can do but pay if I want to be able to shower and flush the toilet. Fuckers.

In better news, one of my blog readers sent me a link to fmovies.to, a site where I can watch “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” for free. I’ve got it queued up and ready to start watching this afternoon. Thanks again, Nate!

You don’t see many Lord of the Rings memes these days, but this one earned a Tolkien of my appreciation:

I’m a pun and a dad joke kind of guy, but there is always room for sarcasm:

That’s it for this rainy day. I feel duty-bound to check on the Bars of Barretto to ensure they are weathering the storm and donate some cash (in exchange for beers) to help them through these troubled times. I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.