Typhoon Mangkhut has surfaced in town and by all accounts she’s gonna be a whale of a storm.

The tracker I saw put us at the outside edge of the storm’s intensity. Went to bed with some rain happening and I awoke at 0100 when the power (meaning aircon and fan) went out. Wind was gusting hard and the rain was pounding in sideways. I’ve been in the dark ever since, which sucks of course. Still glad I’m not living in one of the many shantytowns around here. I can only imagine how scary this storm must be for them.

Thus far this is the only “damage” I’ve suffered. That’s my new black trashcan out in the middle of the road. I was able to retrieve it prior to it surprising some unsuspecting motorist.

What a typhoon looks like from my living room balcony. It’s hard to get a good picture of wind, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world my kids in South Carolina are dealing with the impact of Hurricane Florence. They are in Columbia, about a hundred miles inland, so hopefully they will not have any problems weathering the storm. It was kind of funny exchanging be safe messages with them last night/this morning.

Looks like I’ll be stuck inside for the duration. Not sure what I’ll do when the battery goes on my laptop. First world problems can be so frustrating!

Up at 0530 which is pretty much my norm. Had a quick walk then breakfast at Arizona Resort. Hustled home afterwards for my shopping excursion to the S&R store.

My driver Donnie was right on time at 0900…

As is my custom, I dropped off my laundry on the way out of town. A week’s worth of dirty clothes washed and folded for the equivalent of 8 bucks…

I’ve always gone to the S&R in San Fernando but the road there is under construction and traffic sucks. I had heard of an S&R in Dau near Angeles City so I told Donnie let’s give that one a try this time.

On the road. Clear sailing on the expressway. Probably further in miles than San Fernando but about 30 minutes quicker.

The store in Dau was much newer and appears larger as well.

Warehouse shopping at it’s finest. Or so I thought.

Oh, did I mention Christmas season starts her on September 1st?

Anyway, this S&R proved to be a disappointment. Things I had expected to find were not in evidence (including things I know the other S&R stocked). I was especially unhappy with the frozen foods and meat selections. Keep in mind, the trip alone costs me 3,000 pesos (about $60) on top of prices that are not necessarily the best deal in town (not to mention that you have to buy most things in larger than normal quantity/size). For this reason I only go once a month and when I go I want what I want when I want it! Yeah, yeah, just another spoiled Kano, I know.

I even bought some things that were pure indulgences (like that big ass box of frosted mini wheats) and I still could barely fill the cart…

….and didn’t put a dent in the cargo space of Donnie’s car. I’m going to stick to the Royal Duty Free store on base in the future I think. Much more convenient. And really, there are very few things they don’t carry that I can find at S&R. Sadly.

I had hoped to fill up my new freezer. Alas, it was not to be. Maybe next week!

Got home and walked Buddy, then took another hike to get my steps in. Started raining half way through so I came home soaked. No big deal, I would have been soaked with sweat but for the rain anyway. Then I fired up the grill.

I bought these Aussie ribeyes at the local meat market here in Barretto. I did buy some more from S&R so I can see how they compare.

Steak, potato, corn, brussel sprouts, and garlic bread. With banana pudding for dessert. Yeah, my life sucks!
I marinated the meat for three days. It was better, but still a tad tougher than I like.

And that brings you up to date. Going to get in some beer drinking tonight while I can. A super typhoon is headed our way and by all accounts it’s a monster storm. Should be fun.

Stay tuned for a full report!

It’s been sunny and hot these past few days. Except when it’s not. Take Monday for instance. Great weather all day right up until it was time to Hash. And then the rains came down. The rain stopped again about 3/4 of the way through the trail, stayed clear until we finished the after Hash circle, then came pouring down again. Ah well. There’s talk of a big typhoon on the horizon so I guess I should hold my complaining until then.

Let’s get on with the Hash pictures then, shall we?

The day’s trail. Fucking Old Man was the Hare and for a guy in his 70’s he laid a surprisingly difficult course, including up and down a couple of small mountains…

And we are On-On. Those are the runners in front of me. I’m leading the pack of walkers at this point…

But not for long. Here most of the walkers have just passed me on the flat highway (that’s me with the walking stick). So much for my supposition that I could keep pace except in the hills. Oh well.

It wasn’t long before I was the only Hasher in sight. The stragglers behind me wound up bailing before we even reached the mountains.

I was missing Snake Charmer, the sweet gal who held back last week so I wouldn’t be alone on trail. I hustled as best I could until I caught up with these two on the day’s first real incline. I stuck with them the rest of the way…

As regular readers may recall, early in my Hashing career I got tangled up in some barbed wire. It had me in stitches, but it was no laughing matter. So I’m particularly wary of that particular hazard these days.
On this trail there were not one, not two, but THREE fences to cross over. This one at least had been knocked down and held down with some bamboo…

Had to actually step over the second fence, but it wasn’t too high or too difficult. This time.

I didn’t bother with a photograph of the third encounter. Every time I stopped for a photo op I fell further behind these guys. And I hate being alone on trail almost as much as barbed wire.

It’s always fascinating to me how people manage to live up in the mountains with no road or easy access to conveniences most of us take for granted. Who do they think they are, Walt Whitman?

And then suddenly we popped out of the hills and into some familiar territory…Alta Vista…my own subdivision. It’s always nice knowing where you are again plus I was able to drop off my walking stick at the house. It’s a pain in the ass to lug around during the after Hash circle…

On Home was at one of my favorite venues, Treasure Island. I’ve been eating at home more these days so I haven’t been there in awhile…

It was good seeing Jessa, one of my favorite waitresses again. And this is the closest I got to an ass shot (didn’t want to be rude) but trust me, she has a fine one!

The traditional beer drinking ritual prior to doing the Hash circle. And no, I didn’t have to sit on the ice this week…

The beach view at Treasure Island….

After the circle I enjoyed some quality time with Jessa and Kat. In fact, I bought them both dinner. To be honest, I’m kinda sweet on both of them. I can’t tell if either or both like me, although they did say they want to come to my house and have me cook for them. So there’s that…

And so goes the story of another Hash. The next best thing to being there, right?

Rainy day people always seem to know when you’re feeling blue
High stepping strutters who land in the gutters sometimes need one too
Take it or leave it, or try to believe it
If you’ve been down too long
Rainy day lovers don’t hide love inside they just pass it on

…through my first year in the Philippines.

No major insights on reaching this milestone. You are who you are wherever you are. I’m not going to pretend that my life here is anywhere close to perfect. It is what it is and I don’t imagine it would be particularly better had I chosen a different venue in which to spend my future. It could damn well be worse, I know that. I also know that I have the power to make this time and this place the best of all possible worlds. Happiness is a choice when everything is said and done.

I’d say I’m getting better at accepting the frustrations that come with living in a third world developing country. There is bad and good everywhere, and really the people here tend to make it all worthwhile. Watching them live happily despite crushing poverty is an inspiration. As I have been told many times, I’m one of the lucky ones. I need to stop bitching and moaning about what I don’t have and learn to embrace my good fortune. I do think I’m getting better at that as well.

Of course, my circle of acquaintances is largely the expat community. And looking around at them, well, yeah I am lucky there as well. It’s true that I may drink somewhat to excess but I sure as hell ain’t doing it at ten in the morning! I think all of us living here have to find a way to fight the inevitable boredom, the day-to-day sameness, and the lack of intellectual stimulation or other worthwhile challenges. Again, that’s on me and at least I have the resources to find and do things that make life satisfying. Honestly though, looking back on my first retirement the boredom then was palpable as well. That may be a natural state when you leave the meaning and purpose of a working life behind.

Anyway, I’m not complaining at all. Things are good and bound to get gooder.

Here’s some outtakes from a typical day in paradise:

The local electric co-op helpfully gave advance warning that there would be a scheduled power outage (aka “brownout”) today from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. so they could do line maintenance and tree trimming. I had observed the need to get those damn branches out of the wires months ago, so was happy to see they noticed too.

On my morning walk I saw the power guys working hard at the task at hand. Power went out at 0900 and was back on at 1600. Good job!

On the beach walk portion of my hike I observed this bottle. Was there a message in there for me? The secret to a happy life perhaps? Or maybe it contained an evil genie wanting to capture my soul. Decided in the end it wasn’t worth the risk…

Had a foot scrub and pedicure…

and when I got home Buddy said “she missed a spot!”

Hurricane Florence is on her way to the Carolinas. My kids are inland at Columbia, but when Hugo blew through in 1986 Columbia still suffered. Florence appears to be much stronger.

Here’s hoping the folks on the coast don’t get fucked too hard…

And finally, I guess the President must have read my rare political post yesterday:

Thanks, Don. And right back at ya!

Oh my! Look at the time. It’s beer o’clock! Photos from yesterday’s Hash will be posted tomorrow. Stay tuned!

Tentatively at least.

In lieu of Friday night darts I attended the weekly Sons of Baccus (SOB) dance contest. This week the gathering was at Alaska Bar, one of my favorite venues. I was once again given the awesome responsibility to serve as a judge.

Six bars participated this week…

Hot Zone got my first place vote, the consensus of the other judges however was that Alaska had the best performance…

This gratuitous ass shot of the Hot Zone dancers is presented in response to a commenter lamenting my failure to post any Hash asses this week. Hope this is an acceptable alternative.

I didn’t play darts last night either. Got my step goal accomplished though and did a short pub crawl last night. Pretty boring to be honest.

Although the beach was nice…

Today I did some serious hiking about. Serious enough to get a blister on my big toe, something that almost never happens. I didn’t play in the Sunday afternoon dart tourney either. Not sure what I’ll do with my “free” time this evening. I did cook up a batch of burrito meat. So there’s that.

Speaking of darts, Greg did give me what felt like a sincere apology after my final Friday league performance. I was of course gracious and accepted the apology. Bottom line, I think he knows that I’m not someone he can fuck with. If and when I choose to play a competitive dart match again I don’t expect he’ll repeat his rude behavior, at least it won’t be directed at me. So there’s that.

Buddy somehow slipped his chain this afternoon and escaped (I only chain him for brief periods out back so he can get some air and pee). One of the security guys on a motorcycle helped me track him down. When he saw me he made a beeline for the house, ignoring my calls for him to come to me. That pissed me off. He’s being punished (ignored) so hopefully he learns to a. not escape, and b. come to me when I call him. I swear, this is like doing that whole parenting gig again.

And there you have it. That’s my life.

Better stand tall when they’re calling you out
Don’t bend, don’t break, baby, don’t back down

It’s my life
And it’s now or never
‘Cause I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
(It’s my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said,
“I did it my way.”
I just want to live while I’m alive

Today is everything yesterday was not. In a good way…

As I approach my fourth month of living in the Philippines I am still far from being an expert on the cultural norms of the people here. Still, I try to be observant and hopefully learn as I go. That’s as much for my own protection as anything else, but I continue to be quite fascinated by much of what I see (or at least hear about). The example I reflected on today was a concept that is not unique to the Philippines, but very much ingrained here, especially among those with higher social standing: Mistresses.

This article dealing with the history of mistresses in the Philippines was quite fascinating. The practice pre-dates the Spanish colonial period, although the Spanish overlords and Catholic church leaders (surprise, surprise) also engaged with the local ladies while ostensibly working to eradicate the “immoral” custom. And of course, so did the Americans who followed the Spanish. General Douglas MacArthur, who is still revered here, had a mistress as did some of the American governors.

Anyway, during my brief time here I’ve met two guys (both Kanos as Americans are called) who have mistresses. The first is “J”. He’s been an expat living here for well over a decade and was a frequent visitor to the PI before making the move. He told me his story over beers one night, and it is quite the tale.

J has a Filipina wife and from the way he speaks about her, he adores her very much. A few years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer (he felt the lump one night while squeezing her boobs) and he took her to Thailand (where by most accounts medical care is better) for treatment. It appears they caught the cancer and removed it in time, but the drugs she is required to take have caused her to lose her desire for sex. So she and J have a deal: he can have a mistress on the side provided the wife and her social circle are never exposed to it. That’s no easy trick in a small town like Barreto!

J’s mistress, “T”, is around 25 years old and is a college student. J is in his late 60s, but honestly that age gap is just not unusual here at all. I’ve met her through darts and she is a very sweet gal. When you see them together you would just assume they are a normal happy boyfriend/girlfriend couple. It appears to me they adore each other. J pays her rent and tuition and even helps support her family. In return, he gets sex when he wants it and a comfortable GFE (girlfriend experience) the rest of the time. From my perspective this seems like a win-win-win for J, his wife, and T. I guess in the USA J would be considered a sugar daddy, but it seems deeper than that to me.

J has told me that once T finishes school he will set her free so she can pursue her dreams to have a successful career and to be a mother. What I admire about this arrangement is that J has given this young woman the opportunity to escape the poverty of the working poor here and to potentially live a middle class lifestyle with all the perks that go along with that status. Making a genuine difference, one life at a time!

I learned about the other guy with a mistress at last week’s Hash, where both participants are members. I had seen them together often, but had no idea they were not a traditional couple. And what really surprised me was how open and upfront they both were as they discussed their arrangement. No shame whatsoever, just a perfectly natural and mutually beneficial relationship. FOM is like me a retired civil servant, although he is at least ten years older than me. WW is I’d guess mid-40s and still very attractive. In fact, when I did my first Hash with the Subic group back in January, I thought to myself, “wow, I hope I can find a woman like that!”. To which the evil voice in my head responded “that old fucker can’t have that many miles left in him!”

I don’t know a whole lot about how their deal works. WW self-identifies as FOM’s mistress. He apparently gives her financial support and I suppose she takes care of whatever needs he might have. They also seem to be quite fond of each other. What struck me as weird was that FOM does not have a wife, but WW does have a Filipino husband! And apparently the husband is fully aware of the arrangement. According to FOM, the husband is not jealous of him (he’s the meal ticket after all) but does get crazy jealous if he thinks WW is flirting with other men. I’ve never experienced a level of poverty that would make me okay with letting my wife be a mistress, but I guess desperate times call for desperate measures.

As a footnote to the FOM/WW relationship, WW’s early 20’s daughter is also in the Hash. Before I knew who her mother was I had entertained the idea of maybe hooking up with her. I came really close a couple of times, but something just set off alarm bells for me. I won’t go so far as to call her a scammer, but she does seem to be quite mercenary. Once she figured out I wasn’t taking the bait, she moved onto another victim Hasher. I hope it works out well for them. I guess she hopes to follow in her mother’s footsteps.

So here’s the bottom line for me on this whole mistress thing. Yes, it’s a long standing tradition in this country and is at least marginally socially acceptable. But adultery in the Philippines is a criminal offense. I’m not sure how those two facts coexist, although my understanding is that an offended spouse has to press charges, the police will not get involved independently. Regardless, I’m in the mode of trying to avoid any action that could potentially land me in the nightmare of Filipino jail. I know I would not survive long in that environment. So, yours truly will not be taking on a mistress no matter how desperate I may become.

Well, this post went on longer than I intended. I’ve got some other tidbits to share, but they can wait until tomorrow. I need to get Buddy his afternoon walk and prepare myself for a non-darting Saturday night.

The Candyman is coming to town bringing sweetness and joy to the hardworking bargirls. Hey, somebody has to do it!

I’m changing, arranging
I’m changing, I’m changing everything
Ah, everything around me
The world is a bad place
A sad place, a terrible place to live
Oh, but I don’t wanna die

All my sorrow
Sad tomorrow
Take me back to my old home
All my crying (all my crying)
Feel I’m dying, dying
Take me back to my old home
All my sorrow (all my sorrow)
Sad tomorrow
Take me back (take me back) to my old home

Rough night. Darts drama. Too much of nothing.

Might be time to take a step back and reconsider some of my life’s choices.

In the meantime, more of the same.

Saw this big ass snail in the street near my house. The keys are for his “S” car. You should have seen that escargot!

Later in the same hike I caught this guy monkeying around. Oh wait, is that racist?

I’m not always a walker. Sometimes I’m a stalker. Here I am outside Marissa’s front gate. Again.

I thought this Hash meme was funny in an awful close to the truth kind of way…

More to come soon. Maybe even something of substance. Hey, it could happen!

Well I never felt more like singing the blues
Cause I never thought that I’d ever lose
Your love dear why’d you do me this way

Well I never felt more like running away
But why should I go cause I couldn’t stay
Without you you got me singing the blues

Successfully completed another Hash yesterday. Had decent weather for a change which allowed the Hares to incorporate some mountain climbs into the trail. We were presented with two options, a 7K with a steep climb or a “less challenging” 5K march. Now, I’d normally opt for the longer trail but the Hare warned that the steps to the top of the high mountain were very slippery. I just wasn’t in the mood for an afternoon of slips, trips, and falls.

Additionally, I had already walked 20,000 steps on the day and was starting out weary. I won’t make that mistake again. I also noted that most of the walkers were doing the shorter trail and I wasn’t inclined to get left behind on the long trail again. So I did less challenging which proved plenty challenging enough.

Loaded up in the Hashmobile and ready to roll…

And we are On-On!

Through a neighborhood…

Over the creek on a rickety bridge…was glad I was not carrying around those extra pounds from years gone by…

Up and down some hills….

Back to village life…

The hardest part of this schoolgirl’s day is getting back home.

One final climb…

But the views were with it…

Ah, looking down on my hometown…

I have to give a shout out to fellow Hasher “snake charmer”. As usual I fell behind the group but she hung back so I wouldn’t be on trail alone. I thanked her for it and she said she always does that for newbies and people like me (which I took as a polite way way to say old fuckers). She’s been Hashing for four years now and is real good at following the trail markings. As I admired her lovely ass we walked along I couldn’t help but think how I’d love to have a girlfriend like her to Hash with. Alas, her significant other also Hashes (he was on the long trail yesterday). At least I know what I’m looking for!

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve logged a 30,000 step day…

A pretty nice after Hash at Midnight Rambler. A couple of interesting conversations that I’ll perhaps blog about later this week. As for now, my Buddy wants to go for a walk…

More or less.

Welcome to the brr months. At least that is what my breakfast waitress said to me. I gave her a quizzical look and she said “you know, SeptemBER, OctoBER…” I don’t know if that is just a Filipino saying or not. I’ve never heard it put that way until now, and my domestic helper also mentioned it this afternoon. It must be a thing.

What else?

There was a drunken moon the other night. Or I was drunk when I took this photo. One of those…

Facebook reminded me of the two year anniversary of the purchase of my last tailor made suit.

Damn dapper, ain’t I? Ha! It’s going on 4 months now since I put on a soul choker necktie. Don’t miss it a bit…

The work I had done on the house is now completed. Awnings over the entrances, interior paint, ceiling fans, etc. All for less than two grand. Who spends that kind of money on a rental? Why, I do of course. I plan to live here for the duration so it may as well be set up the way I like it, right?

Front door awning…

…kitchen door awning…

…back door awning.

I also had shelves put up in the kitchen here…

…and here. I have no clue why kitchen cabinets weren’t part of the original construction.

The only addition to the living room (besides paint) was the ceiling fan. Put one in my office area and the MBR as well.

Speaking of the office area, here it is. No actual work is performed here of course…

And upstairs in the master bath is this water heater that works like a charm (provided I have water of course!)

And whenever I need to stroll down memory lane I can now enjoy the parting words of my old co-workers and photos from my previous life as an employed person.

I can also feed my ego with the trinkets of recognition I earned over the years.

I have a special wall for my award from the Seoul International Dart League…

…which is right next door to my brand new dart board! Now if I can only find the motivation to practice. I do have one less excuse now!

Today I enjoyed lunch at the Blue Rock Resort, a place full of memories for me. Happy times with a lost love, you know the drill.

I had the Hawaiian pork chops and they didn’t disappoint…

My date had the Presidential Prawns. She said they were also good.

My date? Marissa. We continued our working through the issues that seem to destine us for failure. Will it ever work? I honestly have my doubts, but I do appreciate that she cares enough to try. So there’s that.

Darts tonight at Alley Cats and then we’ll see what else is cooking in the Barrio on a Saturday night.

And that concludes today’s update from my life in paradise. Stay tuned for the next episode right here at LTG!

Drunken night.

Didn’t walk this morning. Had a grocery shopping excursion on the old Navy base instead. Took a nap when I got home. So less than 10,000 steps on the day. Oh well.

Dart league this afternoon. Didn’t play well and we lost 7-6. Oh hell.

Played in the Friday night tourney at Alley Cats and did much better, 1st Place better. Oh yeah!

Nice night ended on a sour note as I had a blowup with Marissa. We talked our way through it so maybe that is progress. We’ll see.

Walked back home and posted this crap. So sorry.

Ah well.

Will wonders never cease? The sun is shining for the second day in a row! And “all the things” are good and right in the world…

“you’re my blue skies, you’re my sunny day….”

I took advantage of the sunshine yesterday to take a walk I’ve been contemplating since I first arrived in Barretto. Hiking along the National Highway to the Kalaklan Gate at the old Navy base. I’ve hesitated about doing so because it seemed it might be dangerous given the heavy traffic, generally poor Filipino driving skills including disrespect for pedestrians, and a lack of shoulder in places. But I’m getting bored with limited walking choices here in town so I said “fuck it, I’m going to walk to the base!”. And off I went. (spoiler alert: I survived. Hence, I am able to post some photos of the adventure)

This is the highway right outside Barretto proper. It’s quite a scenic walk actually.

Must be nice to live next to a waterfall. Except maybe when it’s not.

The shoulder was actually almost non-existent in places and so for obvious reasons I didn’t stand there to take a photo. Also, I discovered that the white line DOES NOT prevent vehicles from encroaching on my rightful place to walk…

Still, in a worse case scenario I suppose my burial would have been convenient.

The hike also afforded some new perspectives on the beauty of Subic Bay…

All told it was about two hours to the gate and back.

Will I make the hike again? Perhaps. It did get a little dicey in places and I’m not sure risking life and limb is the smartest course of action. Glad I crossed this off my bucket list at least. I think I’ll incorporate some variety in my walks by taking a Jeepney to the base and then walking on the comparatively wide and well maintained streets there. We’ll see.

Last night after darts I joined in a birthday celebration for one of my fellow darters. I was actually surprised he sprang to the full lechon feast. It’s the national dish of the Philippines doncha know?

It’s one of my favorite traditional foods here. Similar to pulled pork (and I’ve had it where everyone is literally pulling the meat of with their fingers and eating it) without the sauce. Lots of folks really go for the crispy skin as well.

Nothing to lose your head over though. Unless you are the pig.

Anyway, the day ended better than it began and that’s about the best you can hope for I suppose.

Celebrated my birthday with the Hash. We caught a break from the rain which made for a mostly pleasant hike, notwithstanding some mud and puddles.

We are On-On!

If this street were ice cream it would be my favorite flavor!

I usually find cause to mutter this word several times during a typical Hash. Yesterday was no exception.

The boys are in the ‘hood!

And in your backyard…

…and all up in your shit.

That’s more like it…

A trail with a view…

In a first for me we crossed the Matain river….

in a banka boat…cool…

better than wading, that’s for sure…

On home was at Johan’s Dive resort featuring this view of the bay…

Drinking beer and reflecting on the day’s journey…

So, at the circle I was made to sit on the ice in honor of my having achieved another birthday. A small cake with a solitary candle was presented and I was instructed to blow out the candle. I silently made a wish that the cake would not be smashed into my face. My wish was not granted.

And then the traditional Hash birthday song was sung:

Hashy beer day, fuck you!
Hashy beer day, fuck you!
Hashy beer day, hashy beer day, hashy beer day
FUCK YOU!