It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

So far at least what I’m doing seems to be working. I’m under 200 pounds and I’m Wuhan virus free. And I’d say that my feet may well be the common denominator for those two events. Or to be more precise my daily outdoor walking exercise. Another study seems to support the premise that getting out and about is the best defense against infection:

A walk a day may keep the coronavirus away, or at least keep it from killing you.

A University of Virginia researcher who studies the protective effects of exercise said Wednesday that endurance exercises — running, brisk walking, swimming, jumping — prompt our muscles to make an antioxidant that travels through the blood to our hearts, lungs and kidneys.

It then binds to organs, awaiting intruders.

Here’s to hoping he is right about that! To help keep myself in fighting shape, I joined my pals Scott and Jim for a mostly pleasant 10K hike this morning. And I’ve got the pictures to prove it:

You just got to do what you got to do in life. And right now I’m gonna do the Speakeasy. I’ll leave you with a photo of Buddy and Lucky practicing social distancing on our walk this morning:

I got a bit of a scare when I saw this:

Then I saw on one of the local internet forums that the closures would be for the entire WEEK! I didn’t exactly panic, but I did take a gander at my pantry shelves and fridge to see if I could go an entire week without access to a grocery store. It was a little iffy, especially if the restaurants were going to be closed (I’m still doing take-out a couple of times a week as well). So, in an effort to be prudent I messaged my driver to take me on a shopping excursion. While awaiting his arrival, I was able to confirm that the closures will only occur on the referenced Sundays.

Anyway, it was off to SM supermarket in Olongapo to stock up.

The good news is I am resupplied and hopefully have enough to carry me over to the end of the month. I really don’t want to go through that SM experience again. I’m going to try and be optimistic that come May I’ll be able to once again enjoy the Royal shopping experience.

On the other hand, President Duterte seems to be leaning more towards fascism if this news report is to be believed:

Well, I’m nothing if not disciplined! That’s why it is essential that I achieve my daily step goal. Plus, according to this article, it is much more dangerous to stay indoors.

…while the study “does not rule out outdoor transmission of the virus,” it notes that “among our 7,324 identified cases in China with sufficient descriptions, only one outdoor outbreak involving two cases occurred.”

This study, if true, could raise important questions about the wisdom of closing public parks in urban areas, particularly those urban areas in which large groups of people live in substandard buildings.

Oh, the article mentions “wisdom”. Never mind. I’m not sure which is more inept; the measures to stop the spread of the Wuhan virus or the sheeple who blindly follow them.

A quick update on the “Gomans” situation. I stopped by yesterday afternoon to pay my tab from Wednesday and see what the outcome of the Barangay visit might be. I came in from the long way about on the beach. The first thing I noticed was no customers were seated in the outdoor patio area. Still, I was warmly greeted by my waitress friend Babette and the manager. They told me that they intended to take care of their good customers like me, but I had to keep it a secret. No problem. Bottom line, no more open drinking but I can still order take-out. Alrighty then.

I headed on up the beach to my Speakeasy and halfway there ran into another foreigner. He told me that he’d just left the Speakeasy because the police were outside. Damn. I waited a while, then headed over to see what had happened. Nothing really. The police were visiting the establishment next door. So, I still have a place to go. For now at least.

But not on Sunday!

As is my custom, I headed over to “Gomans” yesterday afternoon to enjoy a few cold beers before curfew. This is what greeted me at the door:

Hmm, now what? As I stood there contemplating my options, Babette, my favorite waitress, suddenly appeared on the other side of the barrier. She reiterated that they could only serve food for take out. I asked if I could come inside and have a beer while waiting for my food to be prepared. She nodded and said, “I know you are a good guy” and slid open the barrier. She told me I needed to keep my beer “hidden” while I was inside. I wasn’t exactly sure how I was going to manage that, but I nodded my assent. I go out to the back patio and she brings me my beer and a menu. I teasingly said, “there are so many choices, it may take a while to decide what to order.” She grinned and said that’s okay.

There was only one other customer when I arrived. As I sat there half-heartedly perusing the menu a couple more people came in. I was enjoying my second beer when Babette came running over and exclaimed: “you need to leave now, the Barangay is coming!” I asked about paying my tab and she said, “Later. You need to go now! You can take your beer with you.” So, I hustled out onto the beach and moved away from “Gomans”. Now what? Well, there is still the Speakeasy. Tide was high though, so I had to remove my shoes and socks and wade in places to get there. Once I arrived I saw my manager friend was at the poolside bar with a couple of other guests so I sat down and joined them.

After a few minutes, the manager asked if I wanted to go inside to the aircon bar. I told him I was fine out here but asked if he preferred me to move inside. He did, and so I did. There were five or six customers sitting at the bar so I moved to a table away from them to keep my social distance. Had some beers, then left at 5:30 to beat the curfew. The problem now is going to be finding access between the beach and the highway if “Goman’s” remains closed. The nearest public access is about a kilometer up the road. Ah well, it’s not like I try and avoid walking.

Meanwhile, have you ever had a feeling like you are being watched?

That’s my house on the left. Off to the right, you can see that big burn area I wrote about the other day. And no, I’m not being paranoid. My pal Scott posted some shots of Alta Vista from a friend’s drone.

Oh, and Scott also posted this photo for our hike yesterday:

Every little bit helps. It’s also good to remember that what I call problems are nothing in the big scheme of things. I wonder where I’m going to find a cold beer today while so many are wondering what they are going to find to eat.

Stay strong everyone!

It’s been hot so that today’s hike felt longer than it was. I know I was as tired as I was after Saturday’s [15K] hike, and that was 1/3 more than today’s today was 1/3 less than that. Still glad to be out and about doing something healthy. [Corrected for clarity and mathematical accuracy]

Oh, popped into Gam Gam’s place and left some candies and cookies for her kids. My motivation is (mostly) pure. Promise.

Anyway, it was a fine and sweaty hike. Brought the guys by my house on their way home and shared some of my beer bounty with them.

You know, Samuel Clemens called this one right:

After today’s hike, I moseyed over to the vet’s to purchase some canned dog food. I didn’t pay much attention to it last time other than it is pretty expensive at 140 pesos ($2.80) a can. Well, they are large and one can does feed both dogs. It’s my best option at the moment. And the dogs seem to like it. Anyway, today I took a closer look and I found this “interesting”:

And that’s about it for today…

Damn, I’ve never been a patient man but some people are getting on my last nerve. I posted on Facebook about my trip to the supermarket in Olongapo yesterday. One guy commented that I should have stayed in Barretto. Another one said I only posted to make people who can’t go to Olongapo jealous. I was a little drunk frustrated and responded: “I go where I want, why don’t you?” Which led to a third commenter saying: “Do you have respect for the lockdown? If everyone just went where they like the situation would be out of control.” Oh brother, some folks need to get a life.

In somewhat related news, I ventured out to “Gomans” yesterday afternoon and was pleasantly surprised to find they were still open for business. Apparently, someone had dropped a dime on them, but they were able to bribe convince the police that they were technically in compliance with the quarantine standards. I’m not sure how. The main difference is that now you are not allowed to sit in the bar area. Instead, folks are confined to the back patio where they are permitted to drink while waiting on their take out food order.

I also performed something of a rescue mission yesterday. An acquaintance of mine has been stuck on the other side of the river under Subic’s jurisdiction. They make it hard for folks to get into Barretto. He’s been out of beer and money for a while and his girlfriend messaged that he was going crazy. So, I showed them the “back way” into Barretto, avoiding the checkpoints by coming in through Alta Vista.

So, he was able to get to a functioning ATM and score some beer. He’s also friends with a hotel owner in town that is still open and is operating the bar in a speakeasy fashion. Apparently my good deed will now provide me access to another place to enjoy a cold beer when the need arises. Woo Hoo!

Facebook brought back these happy memories from my time in Korea:

Yeah, yeah, I know. It didn’t happen that way at all. But I’ve been working on rewriting history.

Keep on rockin’ in the free world!

My pleas will continue to go unheard. At least until April 30, it’s gonna be more of the same around these parts I reckon.

Yesterday afternoon I attended a nice Easter gathering (non-religious) at a neighbor and fellow Hasher’s house here in Alta Vista. Three other couples also joined the festivities. Ed did up some nice roasted chickens. I brought some brownies and ice cream. And beer, which is getting to be in short supply at the markets these days. And so the running out of essentials begins!

You can see Easter mountain off in the background. Today is the traditional day the Hash hikes up to the top. Some of the folks at yesterday’s party are making the trek today. I opted out as it is my grocery shopping day. Plus I didn’t want to climb that motherfucker in this heat!

Later in the afternoon, I made my way over to “Gomans” for my usual fix of brews. As I approached I saw a police car pulling away. That can’t be good I thought to myself. I went on in and all the customers were crowded out on the back patio. The bartender said no one can sit at the bar and they would be closing at 6:00 (the curfew). Today the Barangay had these pictures posted on their Facebook page:

So, I’m still unclear about what if anything happened. I mean, they didn’t close the place down immediately or haul anyone away. I’ll go by later to see if anything has changed.

I chose not to stay at “Gomans” because I didn’t want to be out on the deck with everyone else. I am serious about keeping social distance, even if I’m drinking illegally. So, I moved down to my Speakeasy. Sat out in the back at a table on the beach. No one else was out there. A bit later, a waitress came up to me and said “thank goodness the police couldn’t see you sitting out here. They were just here!”. Oh boy.

Grocery shopping this morning. Pain in the ass as usual. Store used to open at 7. Got there at 8 and still closed. Was told it would open “before 9”. Turns out that meant 8:30.

The store was out of much of what I wanted, but I scored some needed items. Got the rest with a stop at Divimart on the way home. Ah, how I miss my Royal shopping experience!

Ah well. This too shall pass. I hope.

So, yesterday I had to go out for a large injection of vitamin D. 15K worth in fact. Still, the best defense against the Wuhan virus is a good offense. As my doctor succinctly stated:

Going outdoors is what stops every respiratory disease

Well, it wasn’t MY doctor who said that. And it wasn’t a medical doctor. I’m pretty sure he has a Ph.D. though. And the above quote came from something I found on the internet: Epidemiologist: Coronavirus could be ‘exterminated’ if lockdowns were lifted. Anyway, I’m not taking any chances, hence the long hike yesterday. I’ll have some photos from that adventure later in this post, so stick around.

But first, indulge me in this rant, please. The #stayathome nanny-state do-gooders are really trying my patience. I know I’ve talked about it before, but c’mon! I get that some people have bought into the whole strict compliance with quarantine rules, even though many are completely contradictory, self-defeating, ineffective, and potentially dangerous. I mentioned in an earlier post that the brainiacs in charge of the checkpoint into Barretto have been spraying cars and people with some unknown liquid. And then I read that the DILG (Department of Interior and Local Government) in Manila told municipalities to not engage in this practice because it doesn’t kill the virus and it could cause adverse reactions for those who come in contact with the solution. Once again, the left hand has no clue what the right hand should be doing. Just another example of government here demonstrating why the Philippines is a third world country.

But what really pisses me off are some of my expat “friends”. They are openly critical of the decisions I make that could not possibly have an adverse impact on them. These clowns just love applying that #stayathome hashtag on any Facebook post in which I dare to share photos of my outdoor activities. For example, yesterday I posted a photo of the after-hike hamburger I enjoyed at “Gomans”. A commenter felt compelled to use the actual name of the restaurant in pointing out that serving food for dine-in was in violation of quarantine rules. I wound up deleting the comment and the photo.

Anyway, I go out for my daily walks and I acknowledge that it is a technical violation of the quarantine rules. You can, however, be in compliance if you are walking to, oh let’s say, the wet market on Rizal street. Now, in order to maintain appropriate social distancing, only a select few are allowed in the marketplace at any given time. All others must wait their turn. In a line. That looked like this when I passed by this morning:

Alright, I’ll let it go. We will all get through this, one way or another. It is just frustrating to see that it is all so pointless. And I’m prepared now with a standard response the next time someone lays that #stayathome bullshit on me:

A really long but mostly pleasant hike yesterday.

Yesterday was “National Siblings Day” and I dutifully reposted this photo of me and the bros:

Alright, sorry for the ranting and raving. Sometimes life can be a real pain in the ass, but I realize just how Lucky I am.

Happy Maundy Thursday everyone! It’s Holy Week here in the Philippines, albeit a very reserved one this year what with the quarantine and travel ban. I recall my first ever trip to the Philippines was during Holy Week. I got to Cebu only to discover everything was closed! I asked what was going on and was told it’s Maundy Thursday. Had to look it up as I’d never even heard of it despite being raised a Christian. Of course, the next day was Good Friday and places remain closed. I was finally able to take a girl out of the bar on Saturday night. Early the next morning she told me she needed to leave in order to attend Easter services. Bless her heart. At least I got what I paid for. Ah, sweet memories indeed.

What else have I got for you today? How about some photos from yesterday? My hiking partner Scott posted these of our hike on his Facebook page:

Speaking of walking, today I earned a new badge from my friends at Fitbit:

And then there is this:

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
“Are – my – test – results – back?”

Bada bing! And while we are on the subject of the Wuhan virus, I saw a mask that will surely keep everyone at a safe distance:

Time for those afternoon steps. Is it further around the equator than pole-to-pole?

UPDATE: Well, I’m nothing if not unoriginal. Or so it would appear. I’ve used “the last supper” title FIVE times over the years.

April 2018 when I said goodbye to my friends in Seoul for the last time before the move to the PI.

September 2014 when I made my semi-annual return to the USA. This was the first time Jee Yeun didn’t go with me. Said she needed to stay behind to take care of her sick mother. Little did I know that this was the beginning of the end. Ouch!

August 2013 I wrote about the Korean supper Jee Yeun had cooked for me the night before. Stop! You’re killing me with these memories!

January 2005 was the last supper before flying to Korea for the first time and irrevocably changing my life forever. Despite everything, I don’t regret that decision.

Ah well, I’ll chalk up this repeated title to old-timer’s disease…

“A man’s admiration of absolute government is proportionate to the contempt he feels for those around him.” –Tocqueville

I do my best to go along to get along. Compliance with the spirit, if not the letter, of the quarantine directives, seems appropriate. But I refuse to disengage my brain and blindly follow stupidity solely on the basis of “do it because I told you so”. Here’s an example of something that just pissed me off when I saw it:

I comply with the curfew. I maintain social distancing to the extent possible and certainly more than most Filipinos I observe. I wear a mask, such as it is, when I’m on the street as required. But I’m going to walk my dogs. And if I choose to take a hike, how is that different than walking to the market place? I’d say it’s a damn sight safer for me alone on the mountain than in a crowded grocery store. And even when I’m at the Speakeasy, I keep a safe distance from the other guests. The point is, even when I’m technically in violation, I do it in such a way as to not endanger others.

I’ve had to bite my tongue (withhold my fingers?) on social media where the do-gooders and busybodies criticize people like me who don’t adopt their strict “stay at home” mantra. Sometimes the attacks are personal but I just ignore them and move on. Oh, I might do a Facebook post quoting Tocqueville or a status of preferring to not be a sheep. I don’t know if they make the connection or not and I guess I don’t really care. Well, I cared enough to post this rant, but that’s the extent of it.

So, today I had to go out for some essentials–specifically dog food. I chose a mountainous 8K route to the veterinarian’s office to make my purchase. There, see totally in accordance with the quarantine procedures.

Anyway, just gotta keep on keepin’ on until this madness is over and done with.

Stay safe everyone!

Alright, here’s a post that I promise will be as boring as my life. And don’t give me that “what else is new” bullshit. This time I really, really mean it!

As expected, the President has extended the enhanced quarantine provisions for all of Luzon through April 30. So it’s going to be more of the same for me around here for a while yet. Unfortunately, more of the same is a whole different animal for the less fortunate. I got a frantic message from a bargirl acquaintance this afternoon lamenting about her inability to feed her daughter. I asked about whether the barangay was providing some provisions and she said yes–a little rice, some ramen, and three cans of sardines. She said her daughter started crying when she saw her cooking sardine pasta again. Well, this woman lives next door in the squatter village outside my subdivision so I told her I would meet her at the gate with some Spam and tuna. I also threw in some cookies and candy for the kid. I gave her 1000 pesos ($20) and told her to go buy food her daughter likes at Divimart. I’m always glad to help out when I can and who knows, maybe I’ll pay off some of that Karmic debt that keeps sabotaging my love life. Hey, it could happen!

This morning I took a long two-hour hike out to the old Navy base and back. Stuck to the highway and it was almost pleasant with the reduced amount of traffic.

I am getting more cautious when I’m out walking alone, that’s why I stuck to the highway. I did get besieged by one man saying he was hungry and needed money. I shrugged and kept walking. I know better than to pull out my wallet on the street. Yesterday afternoon I decided to just stay within the confines of my subdivision for my walk. To make it a little more interesting I was determined to document all the points of access and egress. And here they are (hey, I warned you this would be boring!):

Anyway, that’s what passes for excitement around here these days. But before you go let me share this Facebook memory from six years ago:

Wake up now. It’s time to go.

UPDATE: I was surprised to see I’ve used “ins and outs” as a post title before–back in 2014. That was a post about darts and it was only mildly more interesting than this one. Go figure.

I’m not drinking any less either. Just starting earlier so I can catch a buzz before curfew. *ahem*

No official word on when this madness might end, but all indications are at least an additional two weeks beyond the original date of April 19. My patience is being sorely tried. I mean, I get the good intentions behind the idiotic policies, but at some point, someone needs to stand up and admit that maybe these aren’t such good ideas after all. Fat chance of that happening.

Today was grocery shopping day. I can’t get on the old Navy base to shop at my usual supermarket, so I asked my driver to take me into Olongapo City. I had planned on bringing my helper along, but driver Donny said only one passenger is allowed in the vehicle. And I have to ride in the backseat! Jesus, what a bunch of bullshit. So, off we went to the new SM store. The line was out the door. I suggested we continue on to the supermarket I shopped at last week (the old SM) but when we arrived there they line was even longer. Argh! Well, since the new SM was on the way back home I had him take me back there.

I wasn’t impressed with the selection at SM, but I got what I could. After dropping off the groceries I had Donny carry me and the helper to the local Divimart so she could get what she needed for the household chores. When that was finished we exited the store, me carrying a 24 bottle case of water on my shoulder. We were directed to cross the highway and be screened again, even though our car was half a block away on this side of the street. Geez. And then they made us walk through the disinfectant they were spraying on the cars. C’mon, seriously? No idea what’s even in that shit, but glad I didn’t have an allergic reaction.

Is that enough bitching for one day? Alright, I’ll stop then.

Ah, back when my life had some meaning and purpose. And no, I’m not bitching about my retirement. It’s just the current circumstances that are wearing me down.

No news is good news! No sign of the virus in my little circle of life. I’m making the best of things despite the inconveniences and hurdles erected by the authorities for my own good. I’ve got my walks for daytime diversion and at least for now, “Gomans” and the Speakeasy to wet my whistle. Well, until the 6 p.m. curfew kicks in that is. And that’s just about all there is. It only sounds boring because, well hell, it is boring. But we’ll get through it together, right?

Had a pleasant 8K walk this morning on and about “My Bitch”. We met on the mountain so as not to draw unwarranted attention. There were only three of us anyway, so it probably didn’t matter. Anyway, the hike went without incident or injury so I’d rate that a success!

I’ll close with today’s “interesting” photograph:

I’m not one to complain though. Much.

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
If that’s all there is

I certainly hope so. I’m also keeping in mind it could be a whole lot worse. And if I had to place a bet I’d say it will get worse before it gets better. Rumors are running strong that the “enhanced quarantine” will be extended at least another thirty days. If true, it’s going to get real ugly before it is all said and done. We shall see.

Like everywhere else in the world, the major outbreaks are largely in the metropolitan areas, which makes sense. What doesn’t make sense to me is to literally starve people in order to “save” them from a virus that for 99% of humans is not fatal. Yeah, I get the whole “flattening of the bell curve” thing. But that doesn’t really apply in a 3rd world ass-backward country like the Philippines. They don’t have the ability to test for, monitor, or treat this virus. We are in the third week of lockdown, what more do they expect to accomplish?

In the meantime, nothing to do but make the best of whatever life brings. “Gomans” was still open yesterday, so there’s that.

Closer to home, as in right across the street, things were heating up:

Even without the fire, it was pretty damn hot yesterday. But today it is chili:

With people all over the world stuck at home I guess it was inevitable that boredom would result in all sorts of Facebook fun and games. I don’t normally participate, but I relented for the “long hair/short hair challenge”.

Wasn’t that fun? Speaking of Facebook, the “memories” feature reminded me of happier times in Istanbul:

Man oh man, all these photos of yours truly make me feel like I’m looking in a mirror.

You gotta laugh in the face of adversity, right?

I know you feel these are the worst of times
I do believe it’s true
When people lock their doors and hide inside
Rumor has it it’s the end of Paradise

So it would appear. There was a protest down Manila way and President Duterte responded thusly:

President Rodrigo Duterte ordered the police and the military to shoot violators of the enhanced community quarantine if they are unruly and prove to be a threat to law enforcers’ lives.

Duterte’s statement came hours after residents of a Quezon City barangay staged a protest demanding food aid, which they said they have yet to receive. His statement also came as calls for his ouster flooded social networking site Twitter.

Duterte appealed to aid beneficiaries to be patient as he addressed “the Left,” telling them not to riot or he will have them jailed.
“I will order you detained at bibitawan ko kayo pagkatapos na wala na itong COVID,” he said. “‘Pag kayo ang na-detain, bahala kayo sa pagkain ninyo.”
[Translation: I will order you detained and I will release you after this COVID-19 crisis is over…If you are detained, you are on your own when it comes to food.]

Is this a great country or what?

Closer to home, it seems some of the locals don’t like seeing us foreigners out and about enjoying our privileged life.

With all due respect, let me just say this: Fuck you! Our being out and about, primarily up in the mountains creates no danger to you or your neighbors. We do maintain safe distances and have little to no interaction with the locals. Unless we are giving them food, treats, or money.

The owner of Baker’s Table restaurant has initiated a charity drive to provide food to our needy neighbors here in Barretto. Apparently, the Barangay officials are too busy erecting barriers and otherwise making a bad situation worse that they can’t be bothered doing something meaningful like feeding the hungry.

You know, it does seem that sometimes no good deed goes unpunished. This guy (I’ll come him Africa) is doing all the heavy lifting, going out and gathering the supplies, bagging them up, and then working through the Barangay to identify appropriate recipients. When Africa announced this effort on one of the internet forums, he couched it in terms of “if our neighbors are going hungry, us “rich” foreigners are going to become targets of opportunity; so it behooves us to work together to keep folks fed. Woo Boy, he took some flak for his uncharitable motivations. Fuck that. I do some stuff on my own and I do it for admittedly selfish reasons. It’s hard to live large in a country where so many have so little. Helping out a few eases my conscience and assuages my guilt. Sue me. The people benefitting from my efforts sure as hell don’t care why I’m doing it.

Speaking of selfish motivations, when I dropped into Baker’s Table to make my contribution today, I picked up these hot out of the oven pies:

As promised, here are some photos from yesterday’s hike:

Our surprise was getting almost to the bottom and encountering an officious old hag who sternly advised us our path was closed to non-residents. We tried to argue we were on a charity mission (we had in fact handed out food and money to a destitute family up top), but she wouldn’t budge. She stood between us and the way back home so we didn’t have much choice but to ignore her. She threatened to “take our picture” and we just shrugged her off. She told us she would report us to the barangay, and we kept walking. Then she threatened to call the police. Oh well, do what you have to do. Before we reached the bottom Ed, Helen, and I veered off to take an overland route back to Alta Visa (Ed and Helen are my neighbors). I figured if the cops were really laying in wait, I’d rather go a different way. Turns out there were no problems getting home for any of us, which was a relief.

We’ve decided that in the future we will stay on the My Bitch mountain to avoid power-mad old ladies. We will also meet up on the mountain so as to not make a spectacle of ourselves walking the quarantined streets.

The things we do to keep the peace in our little town.

Well, rather than repeat myself, let me just share what I posted on Facebook this morning:

Got stopped by the police last night for being out after curfew. They asked where I’d been and where I was going. I went all American on them, yelling about me being a free man who can come and go as I please.

They arrested me and I just now got released from a holding cell. I have been advised that deportation hearings will be initiated as soon as possible. It looks like my time in the Philippines is coming to an end.

There should be a day on the calendar dedicated to fools like me.

What can I say? Those who play must pay. Speaking of paying, here’s the latest from one of the biggest bar owners in town:

Hello all. I’ll be assisting Moe in managing a new business venture which will be available to all at our soft opening this Wednesday at 6 PM in the Paradise Hotel. Now before you go thinking too much into this please let me explain how it works.

Due to the COVID-19 social distancing restrictions and most of our staff returning to the provinces, we are offering the opportunity to spend two hours with a top of the line, ultra realistic sex doll. You’ve heard how realistic they look and feel. Totally lifelike size (about 5’1) lifelike weight (about 90 lbs). Absolutely state of the art silicone silky life-like skin, real hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, pussy hair and totally realistic feeling vagina, ass, and mouth. She can bend into any position you desire and each doll comes wearing a removable sexy see-through babydoll and panties.
We have 5 brand new, never used dolls. 3 are Filipina’s with brown skin and long silky black hair, 1 is a Caucasian blonde and 1 is a red head ladyboy for those customers who would like to take a walk on the wild side.

How it works: You can contact Lyn, our receptionist at the Paradise front desk and ask for a doll room. You will also be able to call ahead and make a room reservation with your favorite doll at: 0929710800.

Upon arrival, you will be given a menu card to choose which type of doll you prefer and she will be ready for you in your room. Payment is made at the reception desk and is P1000 for a 2 hour visit. Lubrication is provided along with an instruction dvd set up in your room, just press play on your remote to watch. All orifices are naturally silky smooth and feel just like the real thing. Use a little lube and you’re off to the races. This will change the way the adult entertainment industry operates here in Brgy Barretto.

When you’re finished just leave everything and the doll is thoroughly cleaned and sanitized inside and out. There is no violation of law, social distancing, or worrying about a runner, stolen wallet, or STD. She won’t argue over price or get upset if you fart in bed. The best thing is she never says “NO!”

As I mentioned before, the soft opening is this Wednesday at 6 PM and if everything goes well we will consider expansion by July. Piatnight membership cards honored. 10% discount to First Responders & medical personnel.

With the absence of the real thing, these dolls are an absolute God send. Please feel free to stop in for a glass of champagne during our soft opening, we will have all 5 dolls on display and an instructional video playing. Come on in and have a drink and check things out. We are very excited to offer an alternative form of entertainment to you and believe this will be the start of a growing industry.

I hope to see you there.

Would I be a fool to attend this event?

Meanwhile, back in the real world:

I guess the quarantine has exempted fire starters from the lockdown:

Yesterday’s special at “Gomans”:

I had another long hike with some fellow walkaholics this morning. I’ll post about that adventure (with photos) tomorrow. This damn curfew has turned my world, well, my biological clock anyway, upside down. Having to be home at 6 p.m. has me all out of sorts. I was in bed before 8 last night, how f’d up is that? Ah well, hopefully, this will be over in a couple of more weeks. Or I’ll adapt. One of those.

It’s April Fool’s Day. Hope no one made a fool of you!

So, here’s a funny Buddy story. For whatever reason, Buddy likes to join me in the bathroom when I’m, um, taking care of business. What’s weird to me is that wherever he might be in the house he hears and recognizes the sound of the toilet seat being dropped. I sit down and he comes running. I’m not sure what the attraction is–getting his head rubbed or the smell. Anyway, I’m never lonely when I purge the poop.

A few days ago Buddy wasn’t feeling well. I discovered this when I noticed that one of the rugs in my bathroom was all askew. When I straightened it out I saw that Buddy had left a pile of diarrhea on the rug, then apparently tried to cover it up. He did the same thing in my helper’s bathroom. It was hard to get mad about it, I mean, when you gotta go you gotta go, especially if you have the runs. I was actually kind of impressed that he knew that the bathroom was the place to do this kind of business. He’s a smart dog! Now if I can just teach him how to use the toilet.

Sorry for the crappy post. That’s all I have today.

I am guilty of cowardice and I’m not afraid to admit it.

In an odd turn of events, I heard from Jessa last night. Well, I guess technically when you are doing a messenger chat you aren’t “hearing” anything. But you know what I mean. And it was probably the best chat we ever had–either before, during, or after our aborted romance. I guess she had picked up from my Facebook posts that I’ve experienced a relationship failure. “Again?” she inquired, not entirely without sympathy. Then she wanted to know if I really meant it this time and if I was really going to finally let go of this one for good. I assured her that was my intention. She wished me good luck but admitted she didn’t completely believe me.

Then we talked about her and what she’s been doing (recently returned from Saudi Arabia) and about us, or more specifically, our failed attempt at beginning a relationship. And the quote I used at the top of this post came to mind. But the past is the past and until I can make my fantasy of time travel a reality, the past cannot be changed. But I was honest in telling Jessa that looking back I would have done things differently. She didn’t seem particularly impressed with my newly discovered insights but did offer me some much-needed encouragement as I plod forward into an unknown future. And I did appreciate that. I asked her if she was seeing anyone and she responded that she is “talking” to a guy. I took that to mean one of those overseas/long-distance romances that are so prevalent here. I also took it to mean that my future would not be including her. Ah well.

The other thoughts I have had involve why this latest failure bothers me so much. It really shouldn’t because I had not invested much emotion into the relationship. Yeah, my routines are out of kilter now and Lucky is especially bummed out, but that will pass. It occurs to me that what is going on is tantamount to having the old scabs and scar tissue torn away from the wounds of the past. The ones that actually did cut deep and were life-changing. A reminder that some things break and can never be completely repaired.

I’ll figure it out. In the meantime, here’s today’s “interesting” photograph:

And that’s where things stand with me today.

I don’t write much about my female relationships here, such as they are. I guess in part because I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over. That gets embarrassing after a while. So, I’ve been seeing this gal off and on for more than a year. I guess I enjoy her company, at least to the extent that I found her better than being alone. Dogs love her like crazy, so there’s that.

Anyway, I never let myself get too close and kept my guard up so as to avoid the whole falling in love thing. It was what it was and that was good enough. For me, anyway. I took care of her, at least materially and I thought she would appreciate the comfort I provided her. I gave her whatever she needed and all I asked for in return was a little respect and some appreciation. At the end that proved to be too much, I guess.

So, another failure. I don’t have a broken heart because I never put my heart at risk. But I’ll admit to being very disappointed and somewhat hurt. I had settled into a comfortable routine with her and now I feel out of sorts and floundering a bit. And I’ll be fine, I know. Under the current circumstances, this truly is her loss. No job and now no allowance from the generous foreigner. Oh well, life goes on.

Maybe if I develop feelings for COVID-19 it will leave

Here’s the “interesting” photo from yesterday’s hike. Like a message from the love Gods:

So, about yesterday’s walk. It was a long one. Over 10K from where we started, and I had a 4K hike to get to and from the starting point. We climbed the “big mountain”, then walked the ridgeline almost all the way to Tralala. I’ll tell the story through the photos:

Today I went to the DiviMart store and picked up some supplies:

I knew the mountain folk who call me by name now were probably hurting for food. I also know there is no way the barangay is bringing supplies all the way up here. It was good to help out some friends in need!

Oh, and commenter Kevin Kim asked me how the pork chops with pineapple came out:

And that’s it for today. I’ve got a walk to get in yet, then I’ll go drown my sorrows at the Speakeasy.