A league of distinguished gentlemen

Posted on 05/April/2015 by John McCrarey

Minus one.

Two of these guys have published books. One is just proud to know them.

Yesterday I had the distinct honor of hanging out with Young Chun and Kevin Kim enjoying beverages, food and conversation. As regular readers will recall, Young recently published the story of his time as an American conscript in the Korean army. (go buy it now on Kindle for $2.99!) After reading the Kindle version I wanted a hard copy for my library and I saw on Young’s blog that he hadn’t yet acquired any bound copies for himself.

I took advantage of my Amazon Prime membership and ordered up six copies with free shipping to my APO address. I sold five of them to Young, which he said both increased his sales and reduced his profits. Glad to be of service!

Now, I admit to having had a somewhat selfish motivation for this purchase and delivery–I wanted to get my copy signed! Which of course Young graciously agreed to do.

Young had anticipated that my book would be the first copy he signed, but during the week a co-worker and a student honored him with purchases and a request for an autograph. After what appeared to be some momentary writer’s block, my book now includes some gracious words in the author’s handwriting. Nice! (this photo was shamelessly lifted from Kevin’s blog. sue me!)

I had arrived to the meetup a few minutes late having made a poor decision in taking the 110A bus to Itaewon instead of the subway. Lesson learned. Young was already halfway through his first beer by then, but I played catch-up as best I could and thereafter matched him beer for beer. Young professes to be an introvert but he got on well with the Saturday afternoon crowd at Shenanigans. I introduced him to the bar owner and it turns out they have a mutual friend which was pretty cool. Also in the category of “it’s a small world”, the waitress asked me “is that Young?”. It turns out her brother and Young are colleagues. What are the odds?

We talked about the book and some of the stuff that wasn’t included in the book. I engaged in some good-natured ball busting about Kevin’s cultural insensitivity (after he complimented me for not using the Korean-style two finger salute in our group photo above). And then our thoughts turned to food. We briefly discussed eating at Shenanigans, which had the virtue of being convenient. But I still owed Kevin a dining experience at the Oasis Mexican/barbecue buffet at the Dragon Hill Lodge on base. Young recalled the last time he was on base was for his ill-fated attempt to join the U.S. Army in order to avoid serving in the Korean military. (Read the book!) So we hoofed it over to Yongsan Garrison and unlike our last attempt, Oasis was indeed open for business. So we gave them some.

Now, the thing about an all-you-can-eat buffet is that I feel the need to eat more than my money’s worth. On our first run through Kevin and I came back with heaping plates. Young returned with tiny portions of everything that barely filled half a plate. I feared he wasn’t clear on the concept. I shouldn’t have worried. His strategy was to taste a bit of everything to determine what he liked best. He then made two more visits to the buffet (versus one more for me and Kevin) and I’d judge he did indeed deplete the profit margin for Oasis last night. Young recounted how he used to blitzkrieg the Godfather’s pizza buffet. Coincidentally or not, Godfather’s is now bankrupt.

My guests declared the food to be to their satisfaction and I was happy about that. Kevin had briefly considered forgoing the pulled pork as he will be making a batch today in his new slow cooker. I pointed out that he should have some for comparison purposes and he agreed there was no flaw in that logic. He found the Oasis iteration outstanding, so I guess he’s set a high bar for his efforts today. Here’s a hint: It’s all about the sauce!

After leaving the restaurant, we stopped at the Dragon Hill’s designated smoking area so Young and I could feed our nasty habit. A young man there asked if we’d like to take some of his cigarettes off his hands. A rather odd request, but Young was down for some free smokes. The guy explained that he was waiting on some oil for his vapor machine (and it was quite a machine!) to be delivered from the USA and he didn’t want to be tempted to smoke a whole pack. Young graciously poured the remaining oil from his vapor cigarette into the stranger’s, and both seemed happy with the exchange.

We were all heading in different directions, but each of those destinations began at Samgakji station. So we signed off post and hoofed it over to the subway. I made it about 3/4 of the way before my damn leg flared up (the first time it hurt all day) so I said my goodbye’s and set down to rest. Two minutes later I was good to go.

And so ended a very pleasant evening with my learned compadres.

Back to the future

Posted on 26/March/2015 by John McCrarey

I got the call today!

Yes, I will soon be back to where I started just over ten years ago. My former organization called today with a job offer for a GS-13 Human Resources Specialist position–the job I took when I first journeyed to Korea. I’ll be doing the type of work I did for most of my pre-retirement career and I’m pretty damned excited about it. Not to mention I’ll actually be earning a living wage.

Of course, the downside is I’ll be working a full-time, 8-5 type gig again with all the stress and associated headaches that come with it. Hopefully my work skills have not atrophied much during my four year hiatus from being a working man. Whatever the case, I will *ahem* work through it.

For the record, I never thought I would be one of those guys who retire and then comes crawling back looking for a job. . My plan was to spend 6 months in the USA and six months in Korea and live relatively happy ever after. Plans change. Turns out the wife wasn’t happy in the states and I wasn’t happy without her being there. With my being back in Korea on a more or less permanent basis I may as well fill my days with gainful employment, right?

So as lucrative as this new old job will be (I’ll be making more than four times my current hourly wage) it is not quite as sweet as what I left behind when I retired. Because I’m being hired “locally” from a position that doesn’t include a housing allowance I’m not eligible for one here. Which means I won’t be moving into a big ass fancy apartment close to work like I used to enjoy. I also won’t be getting my shit shipped over from the states. Ah well, I have most of what I need and I’ve gotten acclimated to the commute from Giruem. I will have to go out and purchase some appropriate work attire (slacks, shirts and ties, and maybe a suit or two).

I felt bad calling my current boss with the news. He just got back from his sister’s funeral so it felt like piling on. I certainly appreciated his getting me back to Korea when I really had no other viable options. For what it’s worth, I did ask my new old organization to let me start mid-April so that I might give a reasonable notice of my departure and they agreed.

Yesterday I was finally granted access to the computer network which I should have known was a sign that I’d be departing soon. Hopefully the transition to my new old job will go much smoother than what I’ve experienced these past few months.

Whatever. I’m back in the game baby!

Down in the mouth and knee deep in doo doo

Posted on 04/March/2015 by John McCrarey

Well, it’s been awhile since I last posted, and if you make it to the end of this one you will know why.

It was back to the dentist on Saturday to rebuild and prepare the tooth that was subjected to a root canal for a permanent crown. That entailed nearly two hours in the chair which was pretty much the extent of my tolerance level. Taking the mold for the crown proved problematic because the construction work on the tooth left my gums bleeding profusely. She eventually finished with the mold and inserted a temporary crown. And then abandoned me for another patient. After about ten minutes of sitting there alone, I got up, removed my bib, and made my way up front. I was given two options on the crown, W700,000 for the Cadillac of crowns, or W450,000 for the Chevy. Hell, at my age I expect the cheap(er) crown will last a lifetime. At least that’s the gamble I’m taking.

All that stuff going down in my mouth left me sore for a couple of days, but manageable enough with aspirin. And just about the time my mouth stopped hurting, some pain in my right knee flared up. I’ve not experienced joint issues but it is frankly one of the things I fear. My lifestyle necessarily requires climbing multiple flights of stairs on a regular basis to access the ~~drinking~~ darting establishments I frequent. Jee Yeun (bless her heart) went on the internet and announced that all the extra poundage I’m carrying around my middle is stressing my knees. So in addition to the pain, I’ve had to endure her beseeching me to exercise. Oh well, for what it is worth after my morning commute today (which does involve a fair amount of walking) the pain in the knee went away. So maybe the doo doo alluded to in the title of the post is not so deep after all. We’ll see.

What else? Well, I came across this:

One of my petty pet peeves about the sidewalks of Itaewon is Korean pedestrians have no sense of situation awareness. The other night I encountered three young women walking side-by-side with their arms intertwined. Getting past them was like breaching the Berlin wall. And yes, if that's my biggest gripe about Seoul city life things must be pretty good.

One of my petty pet peeves about the sidewalks of Itaewon is Korean pedestrians with no sense of situation awareness. The other night I encountered three young women walking side-by-side with their arms intertwined. Getting past them was like breaching the Berlin wall. And yes, if that’s my biggest gripe about Seoul city life things must be pretty good.

Speaking of gripes, I came across this article in the Korea Observer entitled Expats Speak Out: What Seoul Needs. The responses ran the usual gauntlet–traffic laws should be enforced “people in France fear the police”; you should have to pay to drive a vehicle into the city “like they do in London”; Seoul should be multilingual (meaning English) “Fine businesses who are not accessible because of language”; more trash cans, free Korean lessons, less racism, etc. etc.

Alright, well I’m not going to rag on those quoted too much because they were responding to a survey the city initiated as part of its quest to become a “global city”. I did leave this comment on the article:

I’m sure all the survey responses were made with the best of intentions, but really I couldn’t help but be reminded of the tendency of some folks to leave their country of birth looking for something new and different, and then they set about trying to make it more like home.

What I love about Seoul is its quirkiness and organized chaos. Sure, things could be better I suppose but heaven forbid it becomes homogenized and vanilla like the country I fled (USA).

Moving along to things I love about Korea, high on my list is the ~~beautiful women~~ outstanding food. Last night we enjoyed this:

Right downstairs from my apartment building is a place that features beef. All the meat pictured is a mere W39,000. Sure, you’ve got to cook it yourself, but that’s part of the fun. Just ask Jee Yeun!

Another thing I like is the subway system. There is even a hierarchy of seating preferences:

Now, when I find myself seated in the “red zone” (i.e. middle seats) I’ve observed a certain reluctance of some Koreans to sit beside me. It’s amusing that some folks prefer to stand than to squeeze in beside the big, burly, scary waegook. Heh, more room for me!

Now, maybe I’m just easily entertained but I find the subway advertisements amusing. Like this one:

Inbred dog or a Korean corndog. You decide.

Lest you think I’ve unfairly maligned the Korea people whom I actually admire (notwithstanding how they walk, don’t sit, and that whole eating dog thing) let me relate a small kindness that occurred when I exited the train at Gireum station today. I was carrying 24 cans of diet Coke in my backpack, plus an 11 piece box of Popeye’s chicken and two Whopper Jr.’s. Well, the backpack was heavy and I was struggling to get the strap over my left shoulder. An ajussi passing by without saying a word helped pull it up onto my back. That earned him a hearty “kamsamnida!” and prominent mention in this post.

Finally (ah, there’s a word you’ve been waiting for I reckon), regular readers may recall that I’ve been angling for a position with my old organization. It would be a sweet gig for me, doing work I know and enjoy. The woman who would be my boss has her doubts however, so last week I did a one hour sit down with her to try and alleviate whatever concerns she may be entertaining. I thought the meeting went well. For my part, I was actually quite impressed with her–smart and motivated. I hope that I left a similar impression on her, but although she promised to let me know her decision in a “couple of days” a week has gone by with no word. I’m trying not to read too much into that, but at the same time I’m steeling myself for possible rejection.

Whatever happens I’ll be okay of course. Unless I blow out my knee.

“You can possible to go at low cost”

Posted on 16/February/2015 by John McCrarey

Back home from a weekend deep in the heart of the south of South Korea. Specifically Busan, Haeundae Beach, and Taejongdae. Took the nephew along in order to celebrate his birthday and also to serve as a foil for my rapier-like wit. I’ll let the pictures tell the story…

The picture is not blurry, that’s how we look at 300 km/h. Jee Yeun’s daughter’s boyfriend works for Korea Rail and scored us some discounted tickets which made an already sweet ride even sweeter.

Less than 3 hours after boarding the train in Seoul we disembarked at Busan Station. Then we hopped in a cab for the ride out to Haeundae beach.

Upon arrival the first order of business was securing lodging for the night. I kinda liked the look, well name anyway, of this place.

Jee Yeun wanted clean and comfortable and cheap, so this is where we stayed. Obviously, the place didn’t blow, even if it did *ahem* Blue. Actually, it was fine and no complaints about the W35,000 rate.

With lodging secured, we hiked a couple of blocks to the waterfront.

The obligatory beachside photo…

And we enjoyed a nice sunset…

And then it was time to eat. Justin and Jee Yeun insisted on a meal featuring raw fish. The only time I’ve ever gotten sick eating in Korea was on raw fish, coincidentally at Haeundae. So, I wasn’t very enthusiastic about their choice. Still, there was denying the fish was fresh…

The restaurant we chose had a nice ocean view…

…and offered an impressive selection of side dishes…

I had to admit the presentation of the uncooked fish was appealing. In the foreground you can see my way of eating fish, which is just what I did. They also brought me a nice fish stew, so I was satisfied.

Our hunger satiated, we went for a little hike around the back side of the Westin Chosun. That’s the APEC conference center on the right, which was still under construction during my previous visit…

The are around Haeundae has really built up as well. Justin and I debated just how tall these massive apartment complex's were. Our guesstimates ranged from 50 to 80 stories...

The area around Haeundae has really built up as well. Justin and I debated just how tall these massive apartment complex’s were. Our guesstimates ranged from 50 to 80 stories…

Having walked a fair piece, I was getting thirsty. For beer. We came across a covey of pochangmacha’s that filled that void nicely…

Justin and Jee Yeun had ddokgochi and I had a chicken-on-the-stick. Truth be told none of us enjoyed the food. But the beer was cold.

The beach at Haeundae is undergoing a revitalization project. I don’t know why, but I found the construction work strangely pornographic…

Down on the boardwalk. Well, it was technically concrete, but you get the meaning. Saturday had been nice, but Sunday morning was overcast and chilly. We had planned on taking the boat to Taejongdae, but alas, there no longer is such a boat from Haeundae. So, we took a cab instead.

Our cab ride took us over the old bridge…

…and the new bridge. I’ve got to say, Busan cabbies seem much chattier than the ones in Seoul. Our driver on this ride drove like a madman, and answered his kakao messages while driving. Some crazy guy on a motorbike (excuse the redundancy) darted across an intersection against the light in front of us, how we missed him I’ll never know. The ride was a thrill a minute, that’s for sure…

Against all odds we arrived safely in the comparatively sleepy village of Taedongchae.

Against all odds we arrived safely in the comparatively sleepy village of Taejongdae.

Were we enjoyed us some lunch before heading up the mountain…

I don’t want to leave the impression that we actually walked to the top (which would be similar to climbing Namsam). Instead we opted for this Disney-like tram ride.

Up top we saw buildings on rocks…

…people on rocks…

…fresh fish on the rocks…

and rocks on the water…

Now, I heard the English speaking recording on the tram ride say this is the spot where the East Sea (aka Sea of Japan) meets the South sea. Justin insisted it is where East meets West. Hell if I know.

We encountered this topless young lady, but frankly I thought there was something fishy about her…

The obligatory pose in front of the lighthouse.

The whole experience left me feeling rather contemplative.

Having seen the sights we headed back to Busan station. With some time to kill before our train, we ventured out to “Chinatown”. All I can say is that the Russians have successfully invaded and conquered this part of China. You might notice as I did that almost all the signage is in Cyrillic.

Although this sign wasn’t.

We decided to spend our final hour in Busan going full on Korea-style. Which I define as sitting outside drinking and snacking and smoking.

And so ended our Valentine’s day adventure.

The steps of Itaewon

Posted on 05/February/2015 by John McCrarey

The world famous “arch of Itaewon”. Suck it St. Louis!

Ah, Itaewon. The infamous foreigner district of Seoul. Well known for it’s eclectic international dining options, vibrant nightlife, and plenty of sleaze for those depraved enough to seek it out. I like it!

Now, I’m into the darting scene and I’d wager Itaewon hosts the greatest concentration of dart bars in the known world. But do you know what’s more ubiquitous than the pubs? Coffee shops! Korean’s surely do love their coffee.

Today I had occasion to be out and about in Itaewon during daylight hours and I decided to answer a question I’ve long pondered: just how far away are you from a caffeine fix should the need strike? Here’s what I discovered.

Starting at the arch pictured above, I walked 55 steps and encountered this bastion of a little known coffee chain:

It’s a long way from Seattle…

I ventured forward another 80 steps to find:

Ediya is a pretty large chain in Korea, but this is a rather small outlet.

And then I entered a coffee desert, walking around 140 steps before I arrived at:

I couldn’t be bothered to get a decent photo (I felt like a freakin’ tourist as was), but this coffeesmith is huge, the photo captures about 1/3 of its frontage…

Now, for those folks who can’t go that kind of distance without coffee, you might have the good fortune to encounter this:

The coffee ajumma and her cart of goodness…

Another 100 or more steps led me to a virtual coffee oasis:

Neal’s Yard Coffee on this side of the street…

And directly across the street there’s this:

A gigantic Tom N Tom’s coffee house…

And right next door to Tom N Tom’s:

An equally large Marley's Coffee. Which strikes me as a more appropriate name for an Amsterdam-style coffee shop...

An equally large Marley Coffee. Which strikes me as a more appropriate name for an Amsterdam-style coffee shop…

A short walk past the Hamilton Hotel and you encounter:

Holly’s Coffee, which appears to be larger than Tom N Tom’s and Marley combined…

And I think Holly’s next door neighbor is larger still:

Definitely giving Homestead the best signage award. I really dig that coffee cup!

If you don’t think bigger is better, you can just pop across the street:

To the second coffeesmith in Itaewon. Up until a couple of months ago, this was a Starbucks…

Onward we must go, and it isn’t far until we see:

A Nescafe cafe. Not to be redundant…

Or perhaps you like to dunk a donut in your coffee:

Have at it! Now, that NY Hotdog Coffee place is technically on a side street, and I’m limiting this expose to the main drag in Itaewon…

Less than a hundred more steps until you can quench your coffee hankering here:

The secret to a good cup of Joe starts with the bean, right?

I don’t know if this is German or not, but it’s next door to the establishment pictured above:

Hell, I don’t know what that is supposed to mean. Reminds me of the internet for some reason…

But wait, there’s more!

This is sort of a specialty dessert with your coffee kind of place. Or so I’ve been led to believe…

And then, right across the road you can get a coffee and chocolate craving satisfied…

And making like a bookend, Starbucks has also anchored the other end of Itaewon…

Another monstrous venue for coffee…

I've always considered the Chiel building to be the line of demarcation--Itaewon ends, Hannam-dong begins. Plus I used to live just behind the Chiel back in the good ol' days...

I’ve always considered the Cheill building to be the line of demarcation–Itaewon ends, Hannam-dong begins. Plus I used to live just behind the Cheil back in the good ol’ days…

So, there you have it. Roughly six city blocks and no less than 16 coffee houses. And that’s not counting places like McDonald’s and restaurants that will happily serve up some java upon request. Additionally, every alley and back street is replete with hole-in-the-wall style coffee shops..

And if you are broke and desperate, there’s always this option:

A taste of Joe for the Korean equivalent of 40 cents…

Now, I suppose regular readers may be wondering what the hell I was doing in Itaewon during daylight hours. The sad fact of the matter is I ~~lost~~ misplaced a key that I require, and the only place I know that makes American-style keys is in the heart of Itaewon. I figured if I was going to go through the hassle of making the trip in from Gireum-dong I’d at least generate a blog post while I was it.

And since I had to go on base to pick up some mail (what I hoped was a royalty check from my inherited oil leases, but alas, it was just the notice about Uncle Sam taking his ~~fair~~ share) I did a little shopping for some necessities.

Propane for the gas grill…

A resupply of diet Cokes. I squeezed 36 cans into my backpack, a new record, but quite the backbreaker. Why 36 cans all at once you ask? Because they were three 12-packs for ten bucks, or $4.50 each. Yeah, I’m a cheap bastard.

I also brought home an 8 piece Popeye’s chicken dinner and two Whopper Jr.’s (Jee Yeun loves them for some reason).

And so ends today’s big adventure.

Day of days

Posted on 02/February/2015 by John McCrarey

I’ve been throwing darts for going on ten years now, but I’ve never had a performance anything like this.

A 15-dart game. Of course, the pro’s can do it in 9, but I ain’t no pro.

It was especially sweet because I finished the game prior to this one with a 157 out, so that’s 6 straight throws of 100 or more. Of course, I couldn’t keep up that kind of pace, but I threw well for the rest of the afternoon.

I needed all those good darts because my opponent was also having a good day…

I actually was not scheduled to play James at all. I won my scheduled match 14-2 and then took pity on James who had been stood up by his opponent. I was thinking it was a mistake for me to play a second match because I was already pretty ~~drunk~~ tired. But I found the zone and wound up having my best ever. Go figure.

Drama queen

Posted on 27/January/2015 by John McCrarey

Regular readers know how much I despise dart league drama. Which makes it especially distressing to report what a little bitch I was last night.

I finished work and arrived back at Yongsan as per usual at 1600. Grabbed me some dinner at Popeye’s on base then hoofed it into Itaewon. Had a couple of beers at Shenanigans while I awaited the the 6:00 p.m. opening of Dolce Vita. Got in some practice at DV and then made my way over to Dillinger’s where my team (Dartitis Quarantine) was playing the opening match of the season against Gecko’s.

I arrived at 7:10, and the match was scheduled to begin at 7:30. Other than a couple of greetings no one said anything to me. Our regular team Captain was out sick. And then the match started, so I looked at the score sheet and saw I had not been scheduled for the first round of singles. We had five players, and only four can play so someone has to sit. And that was me. I mentioned to another player that I was surprised to not be playing and he said “you were the last one to arrive”. And for whatever reason that set me off, especially since I’d spent the last hour warming up at DV. I’m not the best thrower on the team, but I’m also not the worst. So, it didn’t seem that we were putting our strongest lineup up against a tough opponent.

As I set there stewing on it, I just decided to say “fuck it” and leave. The team didn’t really need me and I was feeling unappreciated. So I walked out on the team. I sent a message to the absent Captain saying I knew it was a dick move, but it didn’t seem like I was a good fit for the team.

He didn’t respond until this morning, and it was a terse “do what you gotta do. A little more notice would have been nice so we could fill the team”. I replied that I wouldn’t have left if the team was short a player, but with four other guys I was not needed. He answered that my saying I was not a good fit for the team implied that I had quit for the season and that is what he had told the team. Which I take to mean I’ve been fired.

Anyway, I was way out of line. Upon *ahem* sober reflection this morning I recognize that my behavior was totally unacceptable. I sent a message to my teammates apologizing and a couple have been gracious in their acceptance of said apology. And that’s where things stand. I’ve not decided on next steps, although if I want to play I’m sure I can find a team that would be happy to have me. Even if I’ve become the stereotypical grumpy old man.

After my premature departure from Dillinger’s I returned to DV and worked on drowning my sorrows with frosty mugs of Cass beer. An acquaintance named Brad came in and joined me at the bar and we spent a delightful couple of hours chatting about politics and the minds and hearts of Korean women. Honestly speaking, I enjoyed that much better than I would have playing darts in my foul mood.

I got on the subway for the ride home and realized I didn’t have my darts. Texted the owner of Dillinger’s who found them where I’d left them upstairs, so they are in safe keeping for now. Although he did threaten to sell them to buy me some diapers. Which of course is the kind of abuse I have so rightfully earned.

And so it goes.

Upward over the mountain

Posted on 18/January/2015 by John McCrarey

(In celebration of ten years of blogging here at LTG, each week for the next 52 51 50 49 48 weeks I will delve deep into the ~~sewer~~ archives of past posts to bring you a tidbit of blog history. I had originally planned to call this series “The best of LTG”, but damn, there just wasn’t much “best” to be found. And mediocre is too hard to spell.)

Four years ago I wrote about my mother’s death in a post called All you need is love.

She did not “go gentle into that goodnight”. She loved life and fought to hold onto it as long as she could. It was a painful and heartbreaking thing to witness her struggle, but I’m thankful I could be there with her to provide what little comfort I could give.

I miss her of course, but I don’t know that I still actively grieve her passing. But I cried yesterday as I re-read the posts about her death, her funeral, and the void she left in the lives of those who loved her.

Still, she lives on in the memory of her children and grandchildren. Her life was not an easy one, but in the end her thoughts were only about the power of love. She urged us to love and to be loved because that was all that really mattered.

I’m trying my best mom.

My mother and I in happier times.

Mother don’t worry, I killed the last snake that lived in the creek bed
Mother don’t worry, I’ve got some money I saved for the weekend
Mother remember being so stern with that girl who was with me
Mother remember the blink of an eye when I breathed through your body

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten
Sons are like birds flying upwards over the mountain

A new perspective

Posted on 17/January/2015 by John McCrarey

Or should I say “movin’ on up!”

The view from the 19th floor…

On Thursday we moved into this brand spanking new apartment building…

Still in Gireum, in fact we are across the street from the old joint. We lived on the 5th floor of Building 105 shown in this photo I took from the new apartment. Not directly above the subway anymore, so I have an additional five minute walk added at the beginning of my commute…

I was pretty impressed with the efficiency of the movers. One million won bought 3 men and 1 woman for the day, including a truck and…

…this elevator like device.

So, the movers show up at 0800. The woman does the kitchen (naturally) while the men set about disassembling things that needed disassembled and packing up everything else that didn’t. They had the old place emptied out by noon.
Given our dizzying new heights, they used the elevators to bring our possessions into the apartment.
When I had my shit shipped back to the USA, they just left my house filled with boxes (although they did put the beds and stuff together). Not these Korean movers–everything was unpacked and if something was dirty (like the refrigerator) they cleaned it!
It was all completed by around 1830. They all worked their asses off and it made that one million seem like a pittance.

The new place has three bedrooms and two baths and is much more modern and high tech. I was trying to figure it all out and set off some alarm, so the maintenance guy had to come up and reset it. Jee Yeun admonished me to not touch the control panel again. Fine by me.

Yesterday was my half-day at work (I’m on a 20 hour per week contract, and do 8 hour shifts on Monday and Wednesday) so I got to test out my new commute. I had some things I wanted to take care of on base, so I headed out at 0900. You are welcome to join me for the ride if you want…

Every commute starts with slipping into your shoes, right?

Stepping into the scary elevator for the ride down. I say “scary” because they are all encased in plywood, with tape and graffiti. I guess they’ll stay that way until all the apartments have been occupied.

Down the driveway…

…across the boulevard and past the bus stops…

…Gireum station, line #4, entrance #3…

through the turnstiles…

…and onto the train. I actually had to stand for 3 stops, but seats usually open up at Dongdaemun…

By Seoul station the car was almost empty. Two more stops and I’m at…

…Samgakji! This puts me 25 minutes into my commute.

This guy is always in the station. Never heard him sing, but I assume he does golden oldies. *ahem*

As I leave exit #1 I see it has begun to rain. I have a ten minute walk yet, but I’m too lazy to dig the umbrella out of my backpack…

Through this gate and I’m on the hallowed grounds of US Army Garrison–Yongsan.

Plenty of time to take care of a little banking…

…and grab a quick bite to eat at the food court. Wasn’t feeling like BK or Popeye’s….

…and Subway or Chinese weren’t what I wanted either…

Ah, but some Taco Bell would hit the spot. Three crunchy taco supreme and a large diet Coke took the edge right off those hunger pangs…

So, I work for the Yongsan Army Education Center, which as you may have discerned is upstairs from the Post Office. But I don’t work there, I just drop by to pick up mail…

I’m still facing a one hour bus ride to get to work. Although I do get paid for riding the bus…

My destination is K-16. The ROKs use it as a military airport, the Army has a fleet of helicopters based there…

Crossing the Han…

Better to be riding than driving…

Finally arriving at my duty station. I’m downstairs in the computer lab. Where the work is not quite as intellectually stimulating as my morning commute…

Speaking of being stimulated, one of the purposes of going in early yesterday was to check in with the boss of the unit I use to run. I’m holding out some hope that he may choose to re-employ me. With my friend Dennis’ recent departure, there is a vacancy. Unfortunately, the boss was in a meeting. So, I had a nice visit with some of my old staff and they all expressed the hope I’d be brought on board. Well, Dennis’ job as the supervisor has been filled by an internal promotion, but that still leaves a vacancy. The person I would work for was hired after I left, so she doesn’t really know me (although I did join her and Dennis for dinner last summer). So, I dropped by her office to say hello.

I asked how things were going and she said it was pretty hectic since Dennis left. I casually mentioned that I’d be happy to help her out with that, but she really didn’t respond to that one way or the other. I visited with a couple of other folks and as I was leaving, she asked if she could talk with me for a few minutes. Of course I said of course.

She showed me a policy memo that had been written during my tenure and asked for my interpretation of one of the clauses. Well, I frankly didn’t remember much about the policy or why it was written, but I gave it a quick read and hemmed and hawed my way through my best guess of what it meant. I wasn’t really satisfied with my response and I’m not sure my insights answered her question. She thanked me and I left.

During my long bus ride I got to wondering if that had been an impromptu interview or test or whatever to ascertain if I still had what it takes to be a useful addition to her team. Now, I’ve been out of the game for four years but I don’t think I’ve got that much stupider. And when I was in the game, I didn’t tend to shoot from the hip and make any policy interpretations without much more careful consideration. So, maybe I should have told her that instead of trying to come up with a best guess on-the-spot. Or maybe she was just seeking an opinion and there was no other motive so I should stop stressing about it. I guess I’ll find out in due course.

And finally, after work I hoofed it into Itaewon, grabbed some dinner, drank some beers, and threw some darts. Won the tourney (W30,000) and hit the double out jackpot (W66,000), so there’s that.

The last dance

Posted on 01/January/2015 by John McCrarey

We danced to the song we always do as a duet at the norebang–“It’s the end of the world”….

On Christmas morning Jee Yeun told me she was unhappy in our marriage. I asked her if she was willing to work on making things better. She told me “no, not really”.

For the next few days things seemed fine and I was thinking maybe she had reconsidered. But on Tuesday she said “I’ll help you find an apartment in Itaewon if you want”. I asked her what her plans were and she said she wants to move to the “countryside”.* Apparently, she already has a house in mind there.

It’s all very surreal. She professes to still love me and I believe her. I think she knows how much I truly love her as well. She just wants a different life and in her pragmatic way she has chosen to pursue it without me.

She told me she wanted to be with me for New Year’s Eve last night. And so for the first time in several months she joined me in Itaewon at Dolce Vita Pub. We had spent many happy nights there during our courtship.

The picture in this picture was taking six years ago or so...

The picture in this picture was taken six years ago or so…

It was an enjoyable, but bittersweet, evening. I just can’t imagine what my life is going to be without her in it. And I have a good imagination.

* “countryside” means somewhere some three hours south near where her Aunt lives. Jee Yeun says she’s happy there.

It’s the inevitable let down at the end of a great adventure

Posted on 26/December/2014 by John McCrarey

(In celebration of ten years of blogging here at LTG, each week for the next 52 51 weeks I will delve deep into the ~~sewer~~ archives of past posts to bring you a tidbit of blog history. I had originally planned to call this series “The best of LTG”, but damn, there just wasn’t much “best” to be found. And mediocre is too hard to spell.)

On December 30, 2010 I took note of my final day at work in “That about sums it up”. I ended that post on this hopeful note:

But I’m going to make sure this is merely the transition time between adventures. Or go crazy. One of those.

Maybe I am crazy, but it occurs to me now that life is always just one big transition. I suppose that state of perpetual transition might on occasion include adventure. More often it just hurts.

Now at last I have come to see what life is,
Nothing is ever ended, everything only begun,
And the brave victories that seem so splendid
Are never really won.

Even love that I built my spirit’s house for,
Comes like a brooding and a baffled guest,
And music and men’s praise and even laughter
Are not so good as rest.”
― Sara Teasdale,

Consequences

Posted on 16/December/2014 by John McCrarey

In a world of hurt

So my friend Jeremy is behind bars. He’s being transferred today to a prison in Incheon where he will stay until his trial date, presumably in a month or so. He’s been charged with “violence resulting in death”, which I understand is the Korean equivalent of manslaughter.

Several weeks ago Jeremy was at the Old Town Tavern in Itaewon. He observed a young Korean man verbally and physically harassing a female friend of his. Jeremy intervened, and a shoving match ensued (some accounts say Jeremy punched the guy). The Korean man subsequently fell to the pavement, struck his head, went into a coma, and later died from his injuries. ~~He was 20 years old~~. I’m hearing in his 30’s now, see update below.

I’m not sure how you say “screwed” in Korean, but that most certainly describes what Jeremy is. The altercation has been reported in the Korean media in terms much less favorable than those I’ve described above. An attorney Jeremy has consulted advises that he is facing 7-10 years in prison, although that might be reduced to as little as two years, provided he makes some restitution to the deceased’s family. The victims medical bills alone are fifty million Won.

Like many expat teachers in Korea, Jeremy is basically broke. He was fired immediately after the incident hit the news. He will have difficulty funding a competent lawyer, I see no possibility of him being able to pay off the family. The Go Fund Me campaign started on his behalf had only generated several hundred dollars before it was pulled. Go Fund Me doesn’t allow people to donate to the legal fees for individuals accused of a violent crime. So, like I said, he’s pretty much screwed.

I’ve known Jeremy for several years and I’ve never seen him be violent or aggressive. But I knew he had been in fights before, mostly because he’s a stand-up guy who won’t back down. As another mutual friend put it, Jeremy is a smart man who does some really stupid shit. Now two lives have been destroyed and their ain’t a fucking thing anyone can do to change that. It’s a nightmare for all involved.

So I offer this sad story as a cautionary tale. Just walk away. It’s not worth it.

UPDATE: A friend of Jeremy’s has created a Facebook page in an effort to generate some financial support for legal expenses. I wanted to post the account of the events outlined there for clarification. I wasn’t there and neither was he, but this is probably as close to accurate as we are going to get.

A good friend of mine, Jeremy Frye, was recently arrested on charges that could put him in prison for a long time. Because I wasn’t there at the time of the incident I can only relay the story according to Jeremy and a couple of other friends who were at the scene. I will try to simplify it. Here goes:

On Nov. 30th, Jeremy was at a local bar with his friends in the early morning. A Korean man in his 30’s sexually assaulted one of Jeremy’s Korean female friends by grabbing her inappropriately. The Korean man was removed from the bar by the security later to come back inside. The Korean guy pursued to apologize but instead tried to become physical with one of Jeremy’s mates. The Korean guy then left the building only to harass another one of Jeremy’s female friends and physically trying to harm her. Jeremy stepped in and removed the Korean guy which resulted in a scuffle. When this happened, he was almost immediately pulled away by the bar owner and security guard and went back inside. Several minutes later the paramedics arrived on scene because the Korean guy fell unconscious. When the police came, the Korean guy’s friend pointed at Jeremy. They questioned him and then let him go home. Later in the day, the police arrived at Jeremy’s apartment and arrested him for more questioning. He was held overnight and released again. The police told him the Korean guy was in a coma. About a week later the Korean guy died in the hospital. Jeremy is now in prison and awaiting his trial, which could be in a month.

If you feel like giving Jeremy the proper legal assistance, you can transfer funds to a bank account I have set up for him. I will try my best to keep everyone updated on his situation on this page. It will be difficult to contact individually.

KEB
620-237511-243
Murphy

Ten years after

Posted on 12/December/2014 by John McCrarey

Still crazy after all these years…

One long ago winter’s day in Stafford, Virginia I sat down and crafted the first ever post here at Long Time Gone. Looking back from the perspective of half a score of years, I can’t help but cringe a little at the naivete and cluelessness of the person I was back then.

I’m moving to Seoul, Korea. Although the general consensus among family and friends is that I’ve lost my mind (which I don’t necessarily deny), this is something of a calling for me.

I went on and on about duty and honor and serving those who served, which was perhaps the truth on some level, but as is usually the case with me, my motivations were at their core driven by my own selfishness.

I have lived a very comfortable life. Too comfortable perhaps. The chance to live and work overseas in a totally alien culture seems to be an exciting opportunity to get out of my box and experience a new lifestyle.

Now, what I meant to say here is that I hate my fucking white bread suburban life, I’m bored and miserable, and if I don’t find a way to get out of here I’m going to go batshit crazy. Although I guess maybe you can read that between the lines.

I have made a two-year commitment to the Army, and if I am miserable and lost and lonely, well I will deal with it and learn what I can from the experience. Going in, I have a positive attitude and believe that I have the power to determine what I gain and how I grow as I live this new life.

Oh my, but I was full of myself back then, wasn’t I? That two years became six and carried me right up to retirement. I did in fact find myself more than occasionally “miserable, lost and lonely”, as often as not from the sometimes cruel hearts of Korean women. For example, a Korean woman I dated for almost two years broke up with me via email. While we were living together! Still, the good times outweighed the bad and in my ignorance I came to love Korea, even if I didn’t (and don’t) always understand her. It is pretty funny that I actually believed I had the “power” to determine what I gained from the experience. I still feel the pain of the things I lost by being here over the years. What have I gained? Well, I get to be the person I have become. And I like that better than the person I was.

So, this blog will serve as a diary of my life in Korea. It will be a place where I share my thoughts on what I am seeing, doing, and learning.

I guess I got that part right. Mostly.

I’m going to cut that guy from tens years ago a little slack though. He wasn’t happy with his life and so he changed it. There was a price to be paid for that, but I think it was worth it in the end. And ten years later finds that guy back in Korea still pursuing his happiness. Hope springs eternal.

“Though half a score of years are gone,
Spring comes as sharply now as then—
But if we had it all to do
It would be done the same again.

It was a spring that never came;
But we have lived enough to know
That what we never have, remains;
It is the things we have that go.”

–Sara Teasdale

What a long, strange trip it’s been

Posted on 11/December/2014 by John McCrarey

Back in our humble apartment in Gireum-dong. 33 hours door-to-door.

Began the day at 0400 in order to catch my 0700 flight out of Columbia. Arrived in Atlanta at 0800 with 4 hours to kill before my departure to Seoul via Korean Air. Had a sausage, cheese and egg biscuit from McDonalds, then parked myself in the smoking lounge where I enjoyed free airport WiFi, a rare treat in the USofA.

The appointed departure time came and went, and then came the announcement of some unspecified “mechanical problems” with our A-380 aircraft. They estimated the fix time to be three hours, and gave us all a ten dollar lunch voucher. So, I scored me some Arby’s and headed back to the smoking lounge to wait out the delay.

Three hours go by and the repair is still not complete. Then another hour. Then Korean Air rolled out a couple of carts filled with snacks, soft drinks, and water with the promise the problem would be resolved “soon”. We finally boarded at 6:30 and then sat at the gate for the better part of an hour. I set my watch for Seoul time and resolved to not worry about those things I can’t control.

About halfway into the flight, I hear a woman screaming in Korean. I figured maybe a fight had broken out. Shortly thereafter the flight attendant took to the P.A. to ask if there was a doctor on board. After a few more minutes she came back on to ask if there was anyone with medical skills available to help. I asked the flight attendant what was going on and she said, we have to get a sick passenger to the hospital. I said “A hospital, what is it?” She said “it’s a big building paitents, but that’s not important right now!”. Alright, of course that last part didn’t happen, but I couldn’t resist the “Airplane!” reference.

Anyway, they moved the ill person up front and things quieted down I watched three forgettable movies (2 American, 1 Korean) and in between actually managed to sleep a few hours. Which might explain why I’m still up right now.

We landed at Incheon at 0100 local time. As we deplaned, a Korean Air employee gave us each an envelope with seven W10,000 coupons good for future travel with the airline. An unexpected and nice touch. I sailed through immigration and customs, although one of my bags got destroyed somewhere between Columbia and Korea. It was the last bag to come down the carousel. I had packed that sucker jam full and had a hard time getting it zippered up. I knew if TSA or Korean customs attempted to open it they’d never get it closed again. It arrived back in my possession with a burst zipper and haphazardly held together with packing tape. All the contents seemed to be intact however, so I’m grateful for that.

I was happy to see a currency exchange kiosk still open, so I exchanged $200 for Won as I anticipated an expensive taxi ride from Incheon to Gireum. Instead, another Korean Air employee met me as I exited the airport and directed me to a bus that would take me to Seoul City Hall, paid for by the airline. That suited me just fine. I was the only passenger on said bus, and in broken English the driver asked where I was going. I told him Gireum station. He had a suggestion: He would take me to Gimpo Airport where his car was parked, and then he drive me to Gireum himself. I caught on that the guy was ready to get home, and this plan likely would have shaved a couple of hours off his night. I readily agreed, but alas, another passenger arrived and foiled our plan. Still, there was a cab waiting at the City Hall bus stop and he carried me to my destination for W12,000 including tip.

Jee Yeun greeted me at the door with a smile and a kiss and I knew at long last my journey was over. It’s good to be home.

Roomies

Posted on 30/November/2014 by John McCrarey

So a guy moved into my house last night. I haven’t had a roommate (excluding girlfriends) since my older brother and I shared an apartment back in the 1970s. I honestly don’t know much about the guy who moved in other than he’s a decent dart player and he came here from Alabama a few weeks ago. He’s been staying in a hotel since his arrival which as you might expect is a budget buster. So I offered up my guest room which he gladly accepted.

I have a Korean-style mattress in that bedroom and I warned him it was hard. I remember when I first moved into my Korean apartment it had a similar bed. Those first couple of weeks were uncomfortable but I got to where I prefer a hard mattress. When I went shopping for a bedroom set here in the states it took me awhile to find a mattress anywhere near as hard as to what I’d become accustomed. Finally after visiting several stores and describing what I wanted one place offered up a mattress they called the “back breaker”. Still softer than I’d prefer, but it works. Well, I asked my new roommate Brandon how he slept last night and he just grunted and said “it’s gonna take some getting used to”.

Anyway, I’ve gotten to where I prefer my solitude but hopefully this arrangement will only be for a couple of weeks. I plan to get out of Dodge as quickly as circumstances permit. When I leave Brandon is going to rent my house. He’s basically taking it “as is” which means I don’t have to deal with the hassle and expense of storing my furniture and other worldly possessions. That works for him as well because all he brought with him from Alabama was a couple of suitcases. The rent income will also help defray the expense of finding a place close to the Army base. My goal is to be close enough to walk to work.

Speaking of work, my potential employer advises that things are “looking good”. The hiring package is with USFK awaiting approval. He thinks I’ll have an answer Monday. The last thing I need to provide is my university transcript which should arrive early next week. I’ve got to pay my own way to Korea so I’m guessing I’ll be screwed on airfare with a short notice purchase. Maybe I’ve accumulated enough frequent flier miles to get a free or at least a discounted ticket. We’ll see.

If things go as I hope I’d like to arrive in Korea on or around December 12. A lot to get done between now and then, but I’ve got nothing but time on my hands I suppose. Now that I’ve completed this post I can re-cross my fingers.

What is and never was

Posted on 07/November/2014 by John McCrarey

Thirty-nine years ago this month I married my first wife. Six years and two children later that union ended in divorce. There is no animosity between us and we occasionally interact at family gatherings. Still, I was somewhat taken aback when I received a letter from the Catholic Diocese in Charleston in yesterday’s mail. That correspondence informs that the ex “has petitioned to this Tribunal declaring that her marriage to you should not be recognized by the Catholic Church…” In other words, she wants an annulment.

The letter includes a two-page questionnaire that I have been requested to complete. The questions are all pretty straightforward, basically seeking confirmation that I am not a Catholic and that we were not married in the Catholic church. The last question asks me to explain in my own words why the marriage failed. I’m tempted to channel Hillary Clinton and respond “at this point, what difference does it make?” but what’s the fun in that?

My ex was 17 when I knocked her up. I was 19. I’m not sure now why we didn’t go the abortion route. It was either her Catholicism or maybe she was too far along in the pregnancy when she realized she was with child. Anyway, we mutually decided to have the baby and give it up for adoption. So we moved in together and made the best of those few months, despite being dirt poor. The county adoption bureau paid for the medical care and the government provided food stamps, and we otherwise got by on my meager minimum wage salary.

On September 7, 1975 my daughter was born. On the day the adoption was to take place I was working thirty miles away in Pasadena, CA. And that morning something happened inside of me that I cannot explain, but I somehow knew letting go of my little girl was the wrong thing to do. So, I left work and barreled down the freeway arriving in the hospital room at the exact moment the adoption person was handing the ex the papers to sign giving away our child. I shouted “stop, wait, I want to talk to her about this”. And so I proposed that we get married and keep the baby. She agreed.

It was not a popular decision with her parents (the father threatened to have me arrested for statutory rape). We certainly were not prepared to raise a child (Renee’s first night at home she slept in a dresser drawer as we had no crib). But it was absolutely the right decision. I cannot fathom what my life would have been like if I had abandoned my sweet baby girl.

Two years later my son was born and shortly thereafter we moved to Prescott, AZ to raise our family in a more child friendly environment. I was working as a letter carrier for the Postal Service and the ex was a waitress at a one of Prescott’s finest dining establishments. We bought a small house. We had our struggles, but I recall those years as mostly happy.

So, what happened? I’m sure the ex might have a different perspective, but in looking back I see it as it all just being too much for a young mother to bear. The ex started running with the restaurant crowd and coming home after work at 3 or 4 in the morning. And I think at some point she decided that life in the fast lane was more fun than being stuck at home with the kids. And to be fair, I was feeling neglected and wound up having an affair. So we divorced and she gave me custody of the kids. I subsequently took a job in Arkansas and my mother helped me raise the children. And that’s pretty much where our story ended.

So, if the Catholic church wants to pretend the marriage never happened, I’m okay with that. History is what it is, and I have two fantastic kids (and three wonderful grandchildren) to show from our non-sanctioned union. That is something that can never be annulled.

Nada y nada

Posted on 04/October/2014 by John McCrarey

Not much posting going on here at LTG of late, but the fact of the matter is there just isn’t much happening in my life worthy of note. Of course, that’s never stopped me from writing about nothing before. Truth is, I’m in a bit of a funk. It goes beyond mere boredom. I was often bored in Korea as well, but at least I wasn’t so damn lonely. Yes, I miss my wife.

I’m one of those types who just doesn’t seem to fare well on his own. I tend to sink into an abyss of unmotivated laziness. Jee Yeun would shame me out of my worst behaviors, like sitting around in my underwear all day smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo. Well, the television is better quality that the Statler Brothers enjoyed but you get my meaning. I’ve also been playing Civilization marathons which fills the hours but leaves me feeling unsatisfied and a little depressed. I’m just wasting time, however comfortably and well. And at my age, the last thing I should be doing is wasting whatever time I might have left. I reckon I ought to put a boot up my ass and break out of this cycle of despair. Just not sure where to start and I’m feeling trapped. Fuck it. I’ll think of something.

If it weren’t for darts I might not ever leave the house. I’ve taken road trips to play in Charlotte and Aiken, and tomorrow I’m going to head up to Greenville for the afternoon to shoot in a regional qualifier. I’ve been a little disappointed with the degradation of the dart scene here in Columbia. Some personality conflicts have created a situation where darts are no longer played at my favorite pub. I did my best to mend those fences but to no avail. So I’m breaking out on my own and starting a new tournament that I’m calling #TDT (throw darts Thursday). Not sure I can bring people back but I’ll give it a shot.

And that’s about it. I haven’t heard from Jee Yeun for a few days. I’m guessing they don’t have internet in the countryside or something. Last time we talked (messaged) she said she’d be coming home to me as soon as she can get moved out of her apartment. I’m hoping that means sometime this month.

“It’s like I told you, only the lonely can play…”

BACtrack

Posted on 15/September/2014 by John McCrarey

As most of my reader(s) know I enjoy drinking beer in social settings (although rarely at home). While I don’t have much of a social life, I do play darts two or three times per week and I’ve found beer to be a useful tool in that endeavor. In fact, beer is commonly referred to in the sport as “aiming fluid”.

Given the outstanding public transportation system in Korea I never really had to worry about the amount of beer I consumed during a dart match (other than recognizing that after a certain point inebriation will impact on the quality of my game). Here in the USA there is no getting around driving to the various dart venues, so it is imperative to not drink in excess of the legal limit (currently .08 blood alcohol content in South Carolina) when operating a motor vehicle. I’m actually very paranoid about driving after drinking. I never get “drunk-drunk”, but I’m quite certain I could potentially exceed .08 with no outward signs of impairment.

The rule of thumb is to limit yourself to one drink per hour which I find difficult to do. I’m a big guy and based on the online calculators I’ve looked at, I can probably partake in four beers in an hour without crossing the line. What I normally do is drink five beers during a three hour dart match, then switch to diet Coke at the end of the evening. That’s probably a “safe” amount, but other factors come into play (for example, what you have eaten) and the truth of the matter is you can never be certain. Alcohol impairs judgement, and making the judgement that you are okay to drive after drinking is a fool’s bet.

Being arrested for DUI is an expensive and life altering event. And that’s really the best case scenario. God forbid you do something stupid which causes death or injury to yourself or someone else. I’ve learned that two friends were busted for DUI during the six months I was staying in Korea. I’ve also been told that DUI checkpoints are frequently set up along the route I travel home after a night of darting. Despite my intent to be responsible when it comes to drinking and driving, I really fear inadvertently fucking up.

So, this morning I purchased one of these from a company called BACtrack:

My own personal breathalyzer. A bargain at $129.95 considering what a miscalculation would cost me.

Once it arrives it will be interesting to see how accurate my personal rule-of-thumb has been. But one thing is certain, I will never drive my vehicle anytime I am anywhere near the legal limit. In fact, my plan is to not get behind the wheel at over .05. That’s the standard the federal government wants the states to impose. It’s the right thing to do and you can’t put a price tag on the peace of mind that comes with being a responsible driver.

The last supper

Posted on 10/September/2014 by John McCrarey

A final meal with friends Tom and Yuli at Don Valley

I’m fixin’ to head out to Incheon to catch my flight across the wide Pacific. Sad to be making the trip alone, but Jee Yeun needs to stay and care for her mother. I offered to stay and help but Jee Yeun will be taking her mom to the “countryside” for the next couple of weeks. So, faced with being alone either way, I stuck with the plan and will return to the USA as scheduled.

Goodbye to you Korea!

Getting my KIX

Posted on 31/August/2014 by John McCrarey

Yesterday I pulled a DELTA (didn’t ever leave the airport) at Osaka’s Kansai International Airport (KIX). And now through the miracle of the internet you too can share in the adventure!

The day began with an 0600 wake-up call via my trusty Samsung Galaxy. I frittered around for a bit before making it down to the Airport Limo bus stop near my apartment at 0645. Said bus arrived ten minutes later, I paid my W7000 fare, and was off to historic Gimpo International Airport. Note to travelers: I’ve never seen the Airport Limo full up, but this time we left folks standing at the stop after mine. Plan accordingly.

I arrived at Gimpo without incident at 0730 and waited in a long ass line to check in with Korean Air. My flight was at 0905 so I wasn’t too worried. Sure enough, I had my boarding pass and was through security/immigration by eight. Jee Yeun had directed that I purchase her favorite perfume at the duty free store. My last trip to Kansai I wasn’t able to find it, so with time to kill I went shopping in the Lotte duty free store and found what I (she) was looking for. I was $78 poorer and also burdened with carrying (and not losing) a shopping bag for the entirety of my trip, but hey, the things we do for love!

I paid a little extra to fly Korean Air as opposed to the low-cost carrier Peach Air which I used on my previous trip to Osaka. I figured Korean Air would be a little more comfortable in coach but it was every bit as cramped as Peach. Still, I did have the convenience of flying out of Gimpo (much closer to home than Incheon) and Korean Air served a breakfast snack (cinnamon roll, yogurt, pineapple) and free beverages, all of which I would have paid extra for on Peach. Anyway, we left on time and arrived on time with the wheels down, so no complaints.

They say no main is an island. But when you arrive at KIX you are on an island made by man.

They say that no man is an island. But when you arrive at KIX you are on an island made by man.

Another benefit to Korean Air is that you arrive at the main terminal, avoiding a longish bus ride from the wasteland that is terminal 2. After deplaning I made my way to see the immigration man. Apparently coming to Japan for less than a day raises some red flags. On the arrival form I had listed my destination as my return flight to Korea. Immigration man asked me what I would be doing in the land of the rising sun. I told him I’d be taking the train into downtown Osaka and doing a brief tour of the city. He looked at some flight schedules posted on his desk, so I helpfully showed him my return flight info. “That’s eight hours from now” he said incredulously. “Yes it is” I agreed. He shook his head, stamped my passport, and I was off to customs.

Apparently coming to Japan for less than a day without luggage raises some red flags. I recounted my tale of doing a brief tour of Osaka before returning to Korea. He then checked the stamps in my passport and noticed that I had almost exhausted my second 90 day tourist visa in Korea. He asked when I was going back to the US and I showed him my flight info for September 10. He then wanted to know why I was going back to Korea. I told him I have a Korean wife who wants me to return (hard as that may be to believe). He kinda of laughed and said “oh, a Korean wife”. Then he wanted to know what was in the shopping bag, and I told him it was perfume. Apparently buying shit duty free in one country only to carry it back to that same country raises some red flags. “Who’s the perfume for?” he asked. “My wife” I responded. He gave me a look and asked to see the shopping bag. Finding only the perfume and my spare pack of smokes I figured I was good to go. Nope. He decided to search me. Well, it was more of a pat-down than a search. Not sure if he thought I was a terrorist or a drug mule. But finding no weapons or contraband he finally sent me on way.

Having successfully managed a legal entry into Japan, the only thing I had to kill was time. I wandered around the four floors of the terminal to reacquaint myself with the lay of the land. Then I walked over to the train station to see what was going on there. I guess they were having some kind of festival. There was a line of tents with merchants selling various goods and foods. And some loud ass music and dancing. I saw some wild haired Japanese girl band members posing for photos with their fans, but when Gangnam Style started blaring through the speakers it became all too surreal for this oldster, so I headed back to the airport.

I spent three days in downtown Osaka a couple of years ago and despite my protestations to the immigration and custom authorities I was never seriously planning on making the journey this trip. The only real temptation was the chance to ride on this baby:

Maybe next time.

Back in the airport I decided to find me some lunch. Lots of places to choose from, almost all of them catering to the Japanese palate. And truth be told, I’m not real keen on the cuisine of Nippon. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that after quite a bit of indecisive meandering through restaurant row, I finally settled on…McDonald’s. Yeah, I’m that guy. At least I was yesterday. I ordered me the Big Mac set and whipped out the plastic only to be told they only take cash. So, I had a yen to eat but no Yen to eat with. I was kind of astounded because everyone uses plastic money (or e-money from the smart phone) in Korea. So, it was off to find an ATM.

I found one in short order, but it wouldn’t accept foreign cards (in an international airport for crissakes!). I had a brief moment of panic as I contemplated spending the day without the basic necessities of life (beer). Although I did have W50,000 or so I could have exchanged if I got desperate. I walked around until I found another ATM and this one worked, so I filled my wallet with one Y10,000 note ($96). Flush with cash it was back to McD’s. After dining I checked my watch and saw that I had managed to whittle a whopping 1.5 hours off my 8 hour layover. The day was proving to be almost as long as this post!

I went upstairs to the Korean Air counter to see if I could score an earlier flight home. No dice. They said I couldn’t even check in for my flight until 3:30. What to do? With Yen to spend and nowhere else to go, I opted for the KIX Airport Lounge. They charge Y410 for 30 minutes, and Y120 every 10 minutes thereafter. But I bought the 6 hour package for Y3090 ($30) which provided me a cozy booth equipped with a computer, reclining chair, and free soft drinks (beers were Y210 each, and I had several).

My home away from home. Although the chair here is much more comfortable than anything at home. Considering the alternative, it was the best $30 I’ve spent in awhile.

The “booth” is basically a small cubicle, with walls about 4 feet tall. Cozy I guess you could call it. But from here I was able to explore the nooks and crannies of the internet in relative comfort. I got sleepy around 1:30 or so and reclined that chair full back and tried to catch a nap. Unfortunately, the folks in the common area were being a bit on the noisy side. So I pulled up YouTube on the computer, found a Neil Young album that I favor, put on the headphones, and enjoyed the soothing rhythms of the 1970s. I fell asleep somewhere during the last song on the album (Words Between the Lines of Age). I haven’t napped in a recliner for many a year and I had forgotten just how pleasant an experience that can be. I awoke at 3:30 feeling relaxed, refreshed, and almost perky. And with four more hours left until my flight.

The lounge came with a largish library. Everything was in Japanese, but it was still quite impressive.

This is but one shelf of several of Japanese books. Comic books!

I didn’t even bother trying to make sense of those. But there was also a large magazine rack. Also all in Japanese. But I figured at least I could look at the pictures.

Yikes! Scantily clad Japanese school girls.

Now, I’ve been around for awhile (shuddup!) but seriously, I was pretty shocked. The girls in the magazine I picked couldn’t have been a day over 16. Now, there was nothing overtly lewd (no more than you’d see at the beach really), but something about it just made me feel icky. I quickly returned the mag to the rack hoping no one would see me and think I’m a pervert. So, it was back to YouTube and mind numbing American television (World’s Dumbest) for me. And soon enough my time in the KIX Airport Lounge reached it’s conclusion and it was time to begin the process of my return journey to Korea.

Check-in, customs, and security went off without incident (I was a little worried I might get hassled over the perfume). Reached my gate with 45 minutes to spare and a pocket full of Japanese coins. Interestingly, the Y1000 note is the smallest unit of paper money in Japan, so the coins multiply like drunken rabbits (I added drunken so as not to be cliche. Regular readers will attest that I avoid trite phrases like the plague). I found a vending machine that sold cans of Asahi beer so I bought me a tall can and enjoyed it with tobacco in the smoking lounge. I noted that I had one 500 denominated coin left so I went to the convenience store and picked up a Coke Zero and a bag of pretzels. Handed the coin to the clerk and she said “that’s Korean money”. D’oh! So, I gave her a Y1000 note and wound up with more change.

The remains of the day.

Flight back was uneventful (the way I like it!). As we approached Gimpo I noticed the highways were jam packed and made a mental note to take the subway instead of the Airport Limo home. Korean immigration didn’t seem to mind my less than a day out of country and awarded me another 90 days (I only needed one). Customs didn’t care about the perfume either. I exchanged my remaining yen (except for the coins of course) for Won and then hoofed it to the subway (a pretty fair piece, especially at the end of a long day).

Only problem was I wasn’t sure about the subway route. I rarely venture out to the Gimpo side of town so none of the stations were familiar. There were two lines (5 and 9) and I didn’t know if either connected with line 4 that takes me home. I went to the information counter and despite lacking a common language was able to convey that I was going to Gireum and learn that line 5 did in fact intersect with line 4 at Dongdaemun History and Culture Park. It was a long haul but I made it safely home by 11:30.

And there you have it. I guess the only question new visitors to LTG may be asking is “why?” The short answer is because I’m stupid. When I did my visa run back in June I miscounted the days. My tourist visa expires on the 9th and my flight to the USA is on the 10th. The events described above were actually the lesser of the pains in the ass available to me to rectify my unfortunate inability to count.

“Though half a score of years are gone, Spring comes as sharply now as then— But if we had it all to do It would be done the same again.

“Though half a score of years are gone,
Spring comes as sharply now as then—
But if we had it all to do
It would be done the same again.