Spare your heart…

Posted on 21/September/2016 by John McCrarey

…everything put together, sooner or later falls apart

Sorry for the lack of posting recently, lots going on but I’ve not felt up to write about it. Until now anyway.

The holiday weekend was good up until it wasn’t. Thursday night I had Chuseok dinner with the nephew and a co-worker friend. Eun Oke joined us later and we had a good time drinking. Then hit the norebang. My singing has not improved.

On Friday Eun Oke joined me for a pleasant walk on the Han riverside. I prepared a meal of pulled pork and cole slaw for her. Then we hit the bars.

On Friday Eun Oke joined me for a hike along the Han riverside.

Saturday afternoon we joined a couple of friends for a cookout featuring ribs, potato salad, bacon wrapped asparagus (a first for me and it was delicious) and a veggie salad. I contributed a banana pudding for dessert.

Saturday afternoon we attended a barbecue at Mat and Sohee’s place. Good food and good times.

Saturday night it was back to the bars where I bid farewell to some new old friends.

Said farewell to Dale and his wife Gwen. Dale is a Sergeant Major who has completed his Korea tour and is returning to the states. The occasion dictated that we do shots. Which required reciprocation. So you can see how that went.

Dale honored me with his coin. The front…

…and the back. Thanks again, Dale.

Eun Oke left Sunday morning to care for her dogs. She called me later and said she didn’t have to work and that she missed me. So I invited her on over. We met at Shenanigans and did some drinking. Work night though so we came home early. I fixed her some brats for dinner.

And then at two in the morning Eun Oke wakes me up and says she is leaving. I’m like “what this all about?” It seems she has decided that our future dreams are incompatible so she sees no point in continuing the relationship.

I was gobsmacked. Although she had done this exact same thing once before, but we managed to talk our way through it and I assumed the issue was resolved. Apparently not.

The first thing she did when she left (and I mean before she was out of the driveway) was block me on Facebook. Apparently she’s the type that once she decides it is over, it is over. And I have to admit her actions hurt me deeply. I got pretty sucked in and I foolishly thought she had similar feelings.

And so it goes.

Back to the solitary life of which I had previously grown accustomed. Luckily, my heart is primarily scar tissue so the bleeding shouldn’t last too long. I’ve arranged for some therapy in the form of 11 days in Thailand. I’ll leave on the 7^th of October.

You can’t live in the future. You take each day as it comes and it will lead you to whatever the future turns out to be. I couldn’t make Eun Oke understand that. And it’s a shame really. She was a lot of fun and I enjoyed her company. I imagine I’ll be missing her but will remain grateful for the temporary reprieve from loneliness she gifted me.

And that’s all I’ve got.

Go tell it on the mountain

Posted on 10/September/2016 by John McCrarey

Added a new feature to today’s Namsan hike.

Eun Oke consented to join me on this mornings walk. I asked her how long she thought she could walk. She figured maybe an hour…

Ten minutes in and she needed to rest after the climb to the Grand Hyatt…

But her presence gave me a new perspective on the walking experience. For example, I found the views much more pleasant…

Another short break on the climb up…

And another rest a while later. She was a real trooper though…

I was surprised it was her first time on Namsan since she was a child…

She made it two hours today. Not a bad start. Proud of her effort.

Now I’ve got some spare ribs cooking for lunchee. A good day so far!

Sand to the beach (finale)

Posted on 08/September/2016 by John McCrarey

Back home from the Philippines. A mostly good trip. I’ll let the photos do the talking…

The breakfast view each morning…

I was forced to cheat on my diet when I spotted a Monte Cristo sandwich on the menu. Haven’t seen one of those in over 20 years!

A typical lunch. T-bone for Eun Oke, smoked pork for me… Everything was well prepared, service was friendly and efficient…

And it was hard to beat the specials!

The night life was a lot of fun too. Eun Oke made friends everywhere she went. She was very kind and generous with the bar girls. I was impressed and I guess they were too…

Two of her favorites were Wennie and Cherry. It was Wennie’s 27th birthday so we bought her a cake. She cried when she saw it…

It was a happy birthday for a hard working working girl…

Eun Oke got into the spirit of things by joining the girls on stage for a dance…

Eun Oke also gave Cherry and Wennie the dresses they are wearing in this photo. She loved making the girls smile…

A new night, a new city (Angeles) and new friends…

And when “Gangnam Style” was played Eun Oke did what any self-respecting Korean would do…she got up and danced….

…on stage!

It was fun while it lasted.

Sand to the beach (part 3)

Posted on 05/September/2016 by John McCrarey

Day 2 of our long weekend in the Philippines.

The pool side bar at Orchid Inn.

Eun Oke slept in so I enjoyed a pleasant breakfast poolside at the Orchid Inn. This is where I stayed on my cherry trip to the PI ten years ago, so it was nice to sit with my old memories.

And the pool. Lots of fun memories here…

I had arranged a 2:00 p.m. checkout so once Eun Oke roused from her slumber I walked her over to Norma’s to exchange some dollars for pesos. Then we sat street side at Kokomo’s where the girlfriend ate lasagna and I drank beer. Also arranged for a car to take us to Subic through Kokomo’s. Poor bastard got a ticket on the way though. Either speeding or an illegal pass (or both). He was in a foul mood afterwards of course.

The infamous Walking Street in Angeles City is not as scary by day…

Enjoying the food and passersby at Kokomo’s…

We checked into our room at Arizona a little after 3:00 p.m. Nice spacious room (#28 for those in the know) with a fair view of the bay. 10% discount thanks to Gavin and Philippines Addicts (a web forum I’m a member of). After getting settled in and changing clothes we popped downstairs to check out Score Bar.

The view of Subic Bay from our balcony…

The view of Eun Oke all decked out for a Friday night on the town…

Five years since my last visit and the place had been remodeled. Sat down where the bar used to be and ordered us a couple of SML’s. And then the same thing that had happened the previous night occurred again—Eun Oke was surrounded by the curious Score bargirls. She actually seemed to enjoy being treated like a rock star (or in her case, a K-Pop star). And soon enough she had bought her entourage a round of lady drinks. I told her she should save money by handing out autographs instead of drinks! Anyway, I think seeing a Korean female in the bars is unusual and I was surprised at how pervasive Korean “culture” is amongst Filipinas. They were all talking about their favorite Korean drama stars and singers.

Miss Popularity in Score Bar.

Knowing I wasn’t going to permit a second round of drinks I suggested we check out other venues. Walking up the road I saw a nail salon, noticed my overgrown toenails, and popped in for a pedicure. The GF didn’t want the foot work but she was talked into a back massage.

Next up was the SOB (Sons of Baccus, and no, I’m not sure why it’s called that) at Hot Zone. This event features a dance competition from the dancers at various bars. The girls go all out with costumes and choreographed dance routines. Eun Oke seemed to really enjoy the show and we both agreed the pole dancer after the show was incredible. I did pretty well in the raffle drawing as well, at least well enough to make the P1100 (per couple) entry fee a relative bargain.

The joint was jam packed with revelers…

Here’s a video of the pole dancer.

Walked back to the Arizona, and not ready to call it a night just yet dropped in for another visit to Score Bar. Most of Eun Oke’s new friends were still there and invited themselves to join us. I had already impressed upon her the need to end the practice of buying mass LDs, advising that she pick one or two girls to drink and engage with. Of course, when there are 10 or 12 gals surrounding your table with puppy dog eyes thirsting for a drink it’s tough to pick two and disappoint the rest. I came up with the bright idea of giving Eun Oke her first ever body shot experience. She didn’t freak out at all. So, I bought her another round from two girls this time. Eun Oke got into the spirit of things and insisted I join in with body shots of my own. It was fun while it lasted, but I decided we’d best bail before things got completely out of hand (and pocket). It was the right call, because the tab exhausted the last of my pocket money. More in the room safe, but I try to not spend more than I bring out for the night (5-6,000 pesos).

And let’s just say the night’s festivities put the GF in a happy mood. So day 2 ended sweetly.

Sand to the beach (part 2)

Posted on 03/September/2016 by John McCrarey

After dropping off our bags I took Eun Oke for a quick tour of Walking Street in Angeles City. It was late of course, but she was still amazed. I gave her a quick lesson in how to ignore the touts and street vendors. And then it was time for me to introduce her to her first girly bar. I chose Voodoo because it was small and maybe not too overwhelming. Not surprisingly, the lineup of girls at that late hour was not impressive, they were all overweight and lacking in the pretty qualities. Our waitress was very friendly and engaged Eun Oke is some conversation. When the waitress left for our next round of drinks Eun Oke commented that she was surprised how friendly people are in the PI. And then without prompting from me, she offered a drink to the waitress. She accepted, and then gave us each a free drink! That was a nice touch.

We then moved down the street to a larger venue, Dollhouse. I was shocked at just how obese these gals on stage were. Eun Oke commented that fat and t-backs are not a good combination. There was a group of Korean men upstairs making it rain (throwing money on the stage) which of course set the dancers off in a mad money grabbing scramble. Eun Oke was not impressed and shared my view that it seemed demeaning to the girls. I did point out that they were working for a living, and money is money no matter how it is earned. Still, my preference is to reward with generous lady drinks one-on-one. To each his own I suppose.

We decided to walk on up the road and popped into Angel Witch. We sat down at a table near the stage and I noticed we were the only customers at this late hour. About the time our drinks arrived there was a rotation of dancers. And to my surprise the girls coming off the stage immediately surrounded our table. That’s never happened to me before!

I guess it still hasn’t, because I wasn’t the attraction. Apparently they had never seen a Korean woman in the bar before and they treated Eun Oke like a movie star. They besieged her with questions, rubbed her arms and shoulders, and made her feel special indeed. I think she loved the attention because again, unprompted by me, she ordered a lady drink for all ten of them! Yeah, waste of money perhaps but they were all having a good time and you really can’t put a price tag on that kind of fun.

The happy dancers at Angel Witch

We then returned to our room, relieved some tension, and fell into a happy sleep. I reckoned the trip to be off to a better than hoped for start, so I was very pleased indeed. Next up—day 2 in Subic. Stay tuned!

Sand to the beach (part 1)

Posted on 02/September/2016 by John McCrarey

I’d written in an earlier post about my plan to bring my new Korean girlfriend along for my weekend jaunt to the Philippines. In the monger parlance I’m bringing sand to the beach. The potential for disaster with this plan is evident, but the chance that this woman might just enjoy this aspect of my life made it worth the gamble. Here’s how it is going so far.

Prepared for any contingency. Monetarily at least…

The first stage of the journey obviously was getting here. Eun Oke was supposed to meet me at my house at 1700 which would give us plenty of time to make the airport for our 2100 flight. I walked home from work so she could park her car in my garage (parking on the street in Seoul can be a bitch). She calls at 5 and says “what time do I need to be there?”. I told her now and asked her where she was. “Home” (an hour away). I told that’s not going to work, so she said I’ll take a cab to Incheon airport and we’ll meet there. I was a little frustrated about this turn of events but nothing to be done but make my way to Seoul station and catch the airport railroad on my own.

Eun Oke arrived about 30 minutes before I did and to her credit she had worked her way through half of the longish check-in queue when I joined her. And she was looking smokin’ hot in her cut-off jean shorts, so all was forgiven.

Who could stay mad at that?

Our Asiana flight departed 15 minutes late and arrived at Clark a little after midnight. We were seated at the back of a full flight, so of course we were at the end of the line for immigration. It was here that the Eun Oke made an astute observation: out of the hundred or so folks in line (primarily Koreans) she counted only four other women. “What’s up with that?” she asked. “Probably here for the golf” I lied.

If getting there is half the fun I expect we will have a blast!

After clearing immigration, we made our way to baggage claim. What a fiasco! My bag came out early and hers came out last. Apparently they only have one trailer to haul the bags from the plane to the terminal. Or so it seemed. Bags would come out in spurts, then stop for awhile, then start again. During the hiatus, I could hear the tractor starting up to fetch another round of luggage. I took this opportunity to remind Eun Oke that in the PI frustrations like this are best just laughed off. So we did.

As bad as the wait for our bags was, getting through customs was infinitely worse. Now, I’ve done my share of traveling over the years. But in no airport I’ve been in anywhere in the world did customs search every fucking bag! I don’t know if this is something new or if they were looking for something specific based on a tip. When I made it to the front of the line they had me unzip my bag, gave it a cursory glance, and sent me on my way. Didn’t even ask to look at the backpack I was wearing. So it was an entirely pointless exercise. Ah well, grin and bear it, right?

The driver arranged through the Orchid Inn was there waiting. Now this is on me, but I *assumed* he worked for the hotel. Nope. I was preparing to give him a tip when we arrived at the hotel when he told me “that will be 450 pesos”. I’m thinking what the fuck, I could have taken a cab for that price. Eh, I’m committed to maintaining a “who cares” attitude this trip. Paid him the 450 and checked into our just before 2:00 a.m.

Stay tuned for part 2. Eun Oke’s first experience on Walking Street in beautiful downtown Angeles City.

That suits me just fine

Posted on 31/August/2016 by John McCrarey

Here I am in my birthday suit..

I never expected that I’d ever be buying a new suit. But a new job and new requirements conspired to make such a purchase inevitable. I’ve learned the hard way not to talk about work here on this humble blog, but I guess it is safe to say I attended a meeting with the U.S. ambassador, to Korea, Mark Lippert, today.

You may recall that Mr. Lippert was attacked by a razor blade wielding assailant last year. As fate would have it, one of the attendees at today’s meeting was also present on the day Mr. Lippert was slashed. According to this gentlemen, he was the third person to restrain the attacker. By his account it was his foot that was placed on the throat of the slasher. You can see a video recreation at the link above if you so desire.

Anyway, no violence at today’s meeting thankfully. Mr. Lippert was *ahem* very diplomatic during the meeting and there were really no surprises, which is the best possible outcome in affairs of this nature. So I left pleased.

Rode over to the embassy with a 2-star general in one of those fancy cars, so that was a treat I suppose. One thing I learned is that I need to get me some business cards made. It seems so 20th century but it was awkward during the introductions when I didn’t have a card to share. Aw well, I’ve had worse occasions of a faux pas I suppose. Next time I’ll be better prepared.

Here’s a random shot from my birthday that I rather like:

My Commie friend Choonae (right front) treated me, my drinking buddy Hae Young (left front) and my yoja chingu to a birthday. Yes, I'm lucky. Get over it.

My Commie friend Choonae (right front) treated me, my drinking buddy Hae Young (left front) and my yoja chingu to a birthday shot. Yes, I’m lucky. Get over it.

Tomorrow I fly to the Philippines. I guess I should say we, because I’m bringing “sand to the beach”. What the hell. Might as well find out if Eun Oke can handle the lifestyle.

Anyway, it’s all good. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.

The journey continues

Posted on 28/August/2016 by John McCrarey

Today I commenced my 62nd annual journey around the sun. Wish me luck!

Last year’s journey drew to a close with a surprise breakfast birthday party by my sneaky co-workers…

As tradition dictates, I successfully blew out all the candles on my cake.

I decreed that politeness dictated that I break my diet in the spirit of the occasion. There was no way I was saying no to pecan pie!

Had to go on base to be fitted for a new suit I'm having made (I guess that makes it a birthday suit!). Eun Oke joined me on base and I took her to see my office. I must admit she looks better in the Director's chair than I do...

Had to go on base Saturday to be fitted for a new suit I’m having made (I guess that makes it a birthday suit!). Eun Oke joined me on that errand and I took her to see my office. I must admit she looks better in the Director’s chair than I do…

Eun Oke bought this nice shirt for my birthday…

And I gifted myself with becoming debt free.

For the birthday meal I made samgyetang for the first time.

Slow cooked for 8 hours.

Eun Oke said it tasted better than her mother’s. I hope that means it was good.

Saturday night we went out to celebrate the B-day at Shenanigans. I had good intentions to keep the alcohol intake at moderate levels. But word got out about it being “my day” and all and people kept buying us shots.

…and things got a little bit blurry after that…

We finished the night at Grand Ole Opry where Eun Oke added this money message to the collection. I asked her if I wasn’t perfect and she said no, but you are “good enough”. Thanks. I think.

All in all it was a special day.

Having company on the weekend has made it hard to get my walking in. Barely managed 15,000 steps both days. I’m going to have to buy Eun Oke some walking shoes soon…

Sexy-one!

Posted on 27/August/2016 by John McCrarey

Random songs appropriate for this last Saturday in August.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
But you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it’s sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you’re older
And shorter of breath and one day closer to death

The longer I live the more I believe
You do have to give if you wanna receive.
There’s a time to listen, a time to talk.
And you might have to crawl even after you walk.
Had sure things blow up in my face,
Seen the longshot win the race.
Been knocked down by the slammin’ door.
Picked myself up and came back for more.

Life’s a dance, you learn as you go.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don’t worry ’bout what you don’t know,
life’s a dance, you learn as you go.

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now.

White line fever, a sickness born
Down deep within my soul
White line fever, the years keep flyin’ by
Like the highline poles

The wrinkles in my forehead
Show the miles I’ve put behind me
They continue to remind how fast I’m growin’ old
Guess I’ll die with this fever in my soul

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU0WcW2k2tc

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dusk to dawn
Isn’t that the way?
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wzic15m7YQ

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

I ain’t as good as I once was
I got a few years on me now
But there was a time back in my prime

When I could really lay it down
And if you need some love tonight
Then I might have just enough
I ain’t as good as I once was
But I’m as good once as I ever was

Free falling

Posted on 20/August/2016 by John McCrarey

What counts as a good night for me.

I invited Eun Oke to my place for dinner. It was great to finally have someone to cook for…

The ingredients. Chocolate, shrimp, ribeye steak, baby back ribs, baked potato, mixed vegetables, banana pudding, and of course ice cold beer.,

Eun Oke seemed pleased with the effort.

Afterwards I suggested an old-fashioned pub crawl–one drink in each bar until we could go no further…

First stop–Scrooge Pub.

Bar number 2–Dolce Vita.

Then on to my bar home Shenanigans.

Our fourth stop was Dillingers…

The we moved on down the highway to Route 66.

By the time we got to our sixth bar, Sin Bin, things were getting a little blurry…

We finished up at our 7th venue, Debut Bar. At least one of us was still on their feet…

I’ve got to hand it to Eun Oke, she’s a real trooper. I insisted we walk back to my place which in hindsight might not have been my best idea of the night. But we made it. Poor girl is still passed out on the bed. And no, I won’t share the picture I took of that!

To top it all off, Fitbit even awarded me a new badge!

Life has its ups and downs to be sure, but I’m still in the game!

I wanna glide down over Mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
I’m gonna free fall out into nothin’
Gonna leave this world for awhile

And I’m free, free fallin’
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’

It’s deja vu all over again

Posted on 09/August/2016 by John McCrarey

Yesterday was my first day back in my new/old job.

My desk, just the way I left it over 6 years ago. Well, neater now but give me a little time…

The view from the desk. As Army offices go, I’d say mine is worthy…

And here I am hardly working.

In other news, the kids report a successful yard sale (defined as over $900 in purchases) which pretty much completes the sell-off of my broken dreams. Whatever didn’t sell is going to charity.

And I got an offer on the house which I’m accepting. Still losing my ass but not to the extent I expected. I’d rather go for a quick sale than to pursue recouping more of my investment in a future that never came.

And that’s the way it is.

Take it to the limit (part deux)

Posted on 02/August/2016 by John McCrarey

If Namsan were the world and I was a Spanish explorer my name might just be Magellan. I circumnavigated that bitch of a mountain on Saturday. And that required some creative walking since I had to find ways to work around the tunnels. Nothing like a little adventure in life!

Bring it on Lapu Lapu!

You’ll note I finally had the good sense to buy a headband. Looks dorky but it keeps the sweat out of my eyes. I’m convinced it was the sweat that caused the stye.

One of my tunnel detours put me smack dab in the middle of the Dongguk University campus…

…where I unexpectedly encountered a herd of Republicans…

Came home after 3 hot hours and had a spare rib lunch.

Saturday night I met up with Sam, an old pal visiting from the UK. Had a nice chat about Brexit (he was against it, and I of course favored it) then threw some darts. Sam was still on British time so he made it an early evening. I must have stopped by Debut bar on the way home. I don’t actually remember getting home. I woke up on the floor. And later found a receipt in my pocket from Debut for W135,000, I hope I had a good time!

Fixed this fine breakfast Sunday morning and set out on my river walk…

I was bound and determined to go further west than I ever had before. It was not a good plan for an extraordinarily hot day. It took me two hours to reach my destination bridge which I feared might wind up being a bridge too far. I was getting lightheaded and although I didn’t hallucinate like Kevin Kim, I did imagine myself having a heat stroke. I seriously considered taking a taxi home, but then decided fuck that, I’ll just plop down at a convenience store and drink copious amounts of water. And so I did.

The view from the bridge over the river Han. At least the last bridge over the Han that I made it to…

I was trying to capture that huge ass Taegukgi flapping in the wind. My stunted skill with a camera (and lack of patience) doomed me to settle for this…

Anyway, four hours and four bottles of water later I was safely home enjoying the pulled pork bbq out of the crock pot. I went out later and brought my step count to just over 30,000 for the day…

Monday night was dart league, and me and my What the Bulls? teammates took home a 20-7 victory over our sister team from Shenanigans…

Today was a busy but satisfying day. For one thing I purchased an airline ticket for a planned Labor Day adventure outside the friendly confines of Korea. More on that another day. Had a refreshing walk into work, a sweaty lunchtime walk, and then I got the bright idea to stroll home via the Han river.

It started out pleasant enough…

And then almost out of nowhere the sky opened up and dumped some of the hardest rainfall I’ve encountered in quite a while. Not to mention lots of thunder and lightning. Seeing as how I was on the river sans umbrella, there was nothing to be done but walk on through it. For an hour and a half.

I took this photo under the bridge that adorns my masthead. And yes, my spirits were somewhat dampened.

Still, not bad for a weekday…

And finally (the words all my readers doubtlessly look forward to seeing), I got some news today. It seems I’ve arrived back to where I ended.

Yes, I’ve been promoted to the job I retired from over 5 years ago.

Well, I don’t blog about work these days so I’ll just say I expect it to be challenging, necessary, and well-compensated. The plan is for me to lead us through the transformation and relocation to Pyeongteak. I’ve promised to stay on through the move and several months after, then I will re-retire. And then what? Stay tuned.

I celebrated my good(?) fortune with a rib-eye steak and green beans.

And now it’s time for the periodic legal disclaimer:

All thoughts, opinions, and commentary expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone. My views are not sanctioned (or necessarily condoned) by my employer. I blog on my own time, from my own computer, strictly in my personal capacity. I do not speak for the government I serve (and lately they don’t speak for me!) Thank you for your support.

You can spend all your time making money
You can spend all your love making time
If it all fell to pieces tomorrow
Would you still be mine?

And when you’re looking for your freedom
(Nobody seems to care)
And you can’t find the door
(Can’t find it anywhere)
When there’s nothing to believe in
Still you’re coming back, you’re running back
You’re coming back for more

So put me on a highway
And show me a sign
And take it to the limit one more time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fyY-TxGEwE

Take it to the limit

Posted on 31/July/2016 by John McCrarey

Ah, time for my Sunday night reflections on the weekend that passed way to quickly.

My leather couch and love seat sold for $830. About 1/3 of what I paid for them, but no complaints. Daughter-in-law informs me that the guy who bought them intends to sleep on the couch. It is in fact big and comfortable. And great for sleeping.

See what I mean?

Anyway, the reason the guy needs to sleep on a couch is that his wife of 28 years left him and now he can’t bear to sleep in their bedroom. I feel for the guy. Hope the couch is luckier for him than it was for me.

The big yard sale is next weekend where the remnants of my shattered life will be sold off piece by piece. I’ll be glad when it is over. I looked at pictures of my house and stuff tonight and it jut makes me sick to think about it. Ah well, what’s done is done.

Friday was sort of the usual. Started at Shenanigans where I ran into Mark, a contractor on base and more importantly, a reader of my blog. It was good catching up with him again. Left Shenanigans and enjoyed a Thai massage. I guess I’m a regular now (about once a month) and the masseuse was comfortable enough to sing to me in Thai while she went about her work. It was quite lovely actually..

I left relaxed and thought about checking out some new bars. Went to King Pub which I had been led to believe is where the Filipinos hang out. The staff was all white women (Russians?) and the customers were all Korean. One drink and out of there. Then I started climbing the stairs to Lollipop. But the rainbow flag on the wall made me think it was a gay bar. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just not the way I roll. Yet. So I played it safe and went to East-West, the rock-n-roll version Grand Ole Opry. In fact, it is right upstairs from the Opry. Ran into a couple of folks I know and was made to feel right at home. So it was a good time. Or as good as it gets for me anyway.

(To be continued, I’m tired)

Carefree highway

Posted on 26/July/2016 by John McCrarey

So, where did we leave off?

Really enjoyed the dinner party at the Cassady’s. Tom is an Army chef and his pulled pork is the BEST I’ve ever eaten. And I’ve eaten a lot of pulled pork in my time…

After the meal us menfolk retired to the gaming room and entertained ourselves with a darts match. Me and my partner Tom R. eeked out a victory… Gawd, will I ever lose that fucking belly?

The Rago’s were also in attendance. Bill and June recently returned to Korea after a couple of years in Vietnam. At first Bill didn’t even recognize the clean shaven and somewhat lighter version of myself. Anyway, it was nice to have a non-bar related social event on the calendar.

Speaking of bars, after I left the party I hoofed it over to Grand Ole Opry where I enjoyed some icy cold gin and sodas with my nephew Justin. I’d had several beers at the party so it didn’t take much gin to get me ~~drunk~~ relaxed. We sat at the bar and there was this Korean couple sitting at the table nearest us. The female portion of the couple was only marginally attractive but since she was in my line of sight I looked anyway. I could have sworn I caught her looking back a couple of times too. Then they got up to dance and I swear they did the two-step every bit as good as the country folk in the honky tonks I used to frequent in Oklahoma. At the conclusion of the dance I gave them a round of applause and she gave me a big smile. They danced again later and I found watching them entertaining so I had a couple of drinks sent over to their table as a reward. They both seemed pleased. She thanked me in English, so there’s that.

I’m not sure what the status of their relationship was, for all I know they were married. But, she looked back more than once! Justin even noticed so that is not just my drunken imagination. When she got up to use the ladies room I had half a mind to follow her to see if she might be interested in exchanging phone numbers. Of course, the sane half of my mind talked me out of it, as did Justin.

Justin did teach me to say “난 여자친구가 없어”, but I haven’t found an opportunity to use it. And some lady friends have suggested it would probably be better if I didn’t. Ah well.

Did my river walk on Sunday, about 3.5 hours all told. Not sure if it was the heat or what, but it was a tough hike. I was feeling light headed by the time I got home. Had a bowl of chili from the crock pot and took a nap. Feeling restored, I ventured to Shenanigans for some liquid refreshment. Made it an early night though, as I had to report to Soonchunhwang hospital for some blood work early Monday morning.

Last night was the first match of the season in the Seoul International Dart League.

I reckon we did alright. 23-4. I contributed a 6-0 performance and managed to throw a 9-mark (2 triple 20s and a trip 19) despite still not being on my game. Of course, I haven’t been practicing but I prefer to blame it on the weight loss affecting my center of gravity causing me to be unbalanced when I throw. It’s probably one of those.

This morning I had a doctor appointment with my cardiologist. All the markers continue to show improvement. I’m technically being treated for hypertension. My previous appointment I had blood pressure of 150/90 which was a huge improvement. Today I was at 140/80 which puts me in the borderline high category. I’m liking my trend line. The doc was astounded when I told him I’d lost 26 kgs thus far. In fact, he even shook my hand. Then he gave me a refill on my prescription and said he’d see me in three months. Hopefully he’ll be seeing even less of me by then.

The walk to the hospital took about 25 minutes. I walked back home, changed out of my sweaty shirt, and walked the long way to work, arriving sweaty enough that the Deputy Director asked if that was the color of my shirt or was I wet? I responded “both”.

In the afternoon the staff ventured out to Myeongdong for a luncheon at a restaurant called “Under the Sea”. I’m not big on buffet style dining, but this place put out a good spread. The occasion for our visit was to bid farewell to our Director who departs for a Pentagon job next week.

The staff…

The boss.

Still haven’t heard yet who his replacement will be. Chances are I know him.

I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not sure.

You know, if the elevator is old and broken they should do more than just slap a sign on it. Why not fix or replace it?

I decided to walk back home from Myeongdong but wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it. Once I exited the restaurant and got my bearings I noticed a familiar building that I often pass during my Namsan adventures. But how do I get there? Walked in the general direction and sure enough, there was my old friend.

But getting from here to there was not as easy as I anticipated.

So, I figured going up was a good choice. Except this up led to a dead end. So I went down again.

Regardless, in a roundabout fashion I found my way. And something unusual happened along the road. Now, when I pass by a female version of the human race I’ve noted that they studiously avoid making any eye contact with me. I guess that is both normal and understandable. But today an attractive gal gave me the slightest glance as I passed by. Didn’t turn her head or smile or anything, but made a brief moment’s eye contact. As pathetic as I might be, that was milestone and I felt pleased. So pleased in fact that after about 20 more paces I turned around to look back at her as she moved on down the road. And I’ll be damned if at that exact moment she didn’t turn around to look at ME!

Well, I suppose a braver man may have turned around and approached her. But that man was not me. Besides, I was soaking wet with sweat. Anyway, after being virtually invisible to the fairer sex for so damn long, just getting “a look” makes me feel good about myself. Baby steps.

Not a bad day’s work. Although I’ll probably venture out for a bit later tonight just to move the marker past the 20,000 barrier…

Technically, my weekly goal is 125,000 steps (15,000 on weekdays, 25,000 on Saturday and Sunday). I managed to exceed that last week.

So that’s a lot of time on the highway. I’m not what you could call carefree when I walk, but I do try not care.

Turning back the pages to the times I love best
I wonder if she’ll ever do the same
Now the thing that I call living is just being satisfied
With knowing I got no one left to blame

Carefree highway, got to see you my old flame
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The morning after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away, slip away on you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHaGBhl0U6E

Acceptance

Posted on 05/July/2016 by John McCrarey

Today is Jee Yeun’s birthday. I sent her a message wishing her a happy one. She thanked me and told me “good luck”. So…

It’s been a little over six months now since I was sent packing. And I’m okay. The fact of the matter is that I’ve grown accustomed to being alone. I can take care of myself. I’ve even gotten to the point where I’m no longer achingly lonely.

One of the things I like about walking is that it gives me time to think. In a good way. Not like when I lay awake in bed at night wondering what the fuck happened to my life. Anyway, I’m not sure I’d call it an epiphany but I’ve come to understand some things.

For one, I’m a selfish bastard. It is just the way I am. I’m not willing to compromise or settle. I’d rather be alone than to accept less than what I want in life. I don’t need anyone to complete me. I’d be ecstatic to encounter a kindred spirit who accepts me as I am, but I’m guessing those are pretty long odds.

But here’s the thing: I just don’t care. Perhaps I’m broken beyond repair, but all those sweet words of love mean nothing to me. I’m dead inside and just don’t feel it. I’ve been burned one too many times to ever believe it again.

And I understand the ramifications of that portend a solitary future. So be it. I’d rather be alone than sucker punched again. Love me at your peril!

I don’t have the patience or desire to make the sacrifices that are required in a “loving relationship”. And that is so contrary to to everything I’ve always believed about myself. I never thought I could make it own my own, and now I’ve come to understand that it is my destiny to live a life of oneness. And I’m alright with that.

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain’t gettin us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There’s nothing left inside of here
And maybe you can cry all night
But that’ll never change the way I feel

And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you, I need you
But-there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you
Now don’t be sad
‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad

I can’t lie, I can’t tell you that I’m something I’m not
No matter how I try
I’ll never be able to give you something
Something that I just haven’t got

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain’t getting us nowhere

The life of PI

Posted on 30/June/2016 by John McCrarey

Here’s a photo dump from last week’s Philippines adventure.

Let’s go!

My “cottage” at the Camp Holiday resort.

What passes for a beach at Camp Holiday… That’s the port of Davao City across the water…

A street scene in Samal..

Maria’s business…

Hard at work..

Lechon for Maria’s birthday…

…and a cake of course…

I got a pedicure and the local kids treated me like a zoo exhibit…

Hot day, cold beer, lunch on the way…

Letting me know I was not welcome…

Maria on the beach…

Me on the beach…

Low tide…

Palm tree and water…

Climbed these steps to the waterfall. Not as many as Namsam, but a fair hike…

Was it it worth the walk?

There was this…

…and that…

A river runs through it…

At dinner I gave our waiter a round of applause…

Great minds think alike…

Visited a resort that was much nicer than the one I stayed in…

lots more expensive though…

The obligatory water lily photo…

A beer with a view…

Chillin’ at Camp Holiday…

Here’s a little eye candy for you ladies…

Next up was the bat cave…

No batman though…

or robins either…

but there was a carabao..

So, having seen all the sights on Samal, we moved on to Davao where the Philippine Eagle Center is a must see tourist attraction…

I came…

…I saw. And then I left.

Next up, the infamous Japanese tunnel…built with slave labor by Filipino P.O.W.s in WWII…

Apparently it was an underground garrison that went on for some 7 kms…

The commander in his office counting tribute from the locals…

Hey guys, MacArthur says he will return…

Tyranny is nothing to brag about. Just sayin’…

And then we did the crocodile farm…

What a crock…

Me having an identity crisis…

hungry goldfish…

When we got hungry we ate here…

Hey, give me that! I saw it first!

Nothing left to do now but reminisce…

That’s all folks!

Damn it to hell

Posted on 26/June/2016 by John McCrarey

Or as my father used to say “that just frosts my balls”.

Philippine Air was supposed to send a car to take me to the airport this morning. Apparently they sent it yesterday. Philippine Air: Putting the “in” in competence. In front as it were.

I was perturbed by this turn of events but fortunately I had kept some pesos in my wallet for contingencies such as this. Caught a cab at the hotel taxi stand, loaded my bag in the trunk, told the driver to take me to the international terminal at NAIA and we were off. Before we were out of the parking lot I noticed the driver had not set the meter (something I have learned to always check). When I called him on it he said it is 500 pesos to airport. And I snapped, saying (well, yelling technically) “bullshit! it doesn’t fucking cost anywhere near that much!” Then instead of turning on the meter like I had asked, he had the audacity to want to negotiate a price for the trip. I screamed “stop the fucking cab, you’re not taking me anywhere”. He said okay, okay, I’ll turn on the meter. I’m like “bull fucking shit, stop the goddamn cab and give me my bag!” I’m yelling at the top of my voice by now, and for those who have not heard it, that’s really scary loud. My kids never feared spankings as much as they did my “big voice”. I’m sure all the other drivers in the taxi queue heard every word of it. Anyway, the driver popped the trunk, I grabbed my bag and stomped back to the hotel doorman. Who didn’t seem to give a shit, simply asking me if I’d like another cab. Yes, thank you.

I could see the other taxi drivers gathered around probably discussing who was going to get stuck with driving the insane ‘Kano to the airport. In short order a cab pulled up (not the first one in the queue I noticed) and when I hopped in he had the meter on and ready to roll. Clearly he got the memo. After an uneventful ride we pulled into the airport and the meter totaled 126 pesos. Having given all my small bills to the homeless I handed the driver a 500 peso note and told him just give me 300 change. He said he didn’t have any change. Mother Fucker!

Well, I wasn’t going to let him back door me into the 500p fare I had refused the first driver. So I told him to wait while I went for change. Which was easier said than done. I couldn’t get into the airport until I had gone through two layers of security (boarding pass check then bag x-ray). I went through the first and realized that my plan was flawed. Saw a semi-officious looking dude and asked if he could change a 500. He could and did. There was no exit from where I had entered, but the change guy said something to the guard and I was able to go out the in door. Gave the driver his fare and a too generous trip and was on my way again.

While waiting in line to check my bag I did something somehow that resulted in a feeling like I imagine getting stabbed in the ribs would feel like. At first I thought, shit I’m having a heart attack, but since it’s the right side I guessing I pulled a muscle. Still hurts when I move an hour later. Should make for a pleasant flight.

And now I am stuck in the worst international terminal I have ever visited. No restaurants or bars and no where to vape. Free internet though which permitted me to share this rant.

You’re welcome.

Beggars can’t be choosers

Posted on 26/June/2016 by John McCrarey

Wrapping up my visit in the not-so-lovely capital city of Manila.

Yesterday afternoon I had some time to kill so allowed myself to be enticed into getting a massage at one of the joints in the mall adjacent to my hotel. The already cheap one hour full body massage was on special for only 180 pesos ($3.83). The masseuse asked if I preferred hard, medium, or soft. I went medium and damn when she was cranking on my back and shoulders it was f’n painful. Of course, male pride wouldn’t allow me to scream in agony so I just lay there gritting my teeth while my torturer said “you have lots of tension”. Anyway, it was mostly good and I feel no aftereffects this morning.

Last night I cabbed over to Makati, the upscale area of Manila. There’s a strip of bars on Burgos Street I’d read about over the years so I wanted to give them a try. Well, I made it to four of them anyway before reaching my self-imposed limit on alcohol consumption. The bars that I saw were all of the “girly” type which I don’t particularly like. The girls get a commission on overpriced “lady drinks” and some of them will outright harass you until you relent and purchase one for them. At my first stop “Shampoo”, I’d taken like two swigs of my beer and the mamasan started in on me to buy drinks for the girls. Told her I’d think about it once I’d finished my beer. She kept on and I finally lost my temper telling her “do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I don’t know how this works? I’ll buy a lady drink if and when I’m ready. So leave me the fuck alone”. .I wasn’t so popular after that and I left.

The next bar was called “Bottoms”. I was happy they had an actual bar in the bar. When you sit alone at a table it is like an open invitation to be besieged by thirsty bar girls. Usually you will be left alone at the bar. Sometimes anyway. Not at Bottoms. Girl stood on my left and another stood on my right (apparently they are not allowed to actually sit at the bar). They weren’t pushy on the drinks though and we engaged in some friendly banter. I eventually rewarded their good behavior with a lady drink for each of them.

Moving on, I stopped in “Dimples”. It also had a bar so I plopped myself down. A couple of gals approached but I channeled Greta Garbo and told them “I want to drink alone”. Surprisingly they actually respected my wishes and I wasn’t bothered again for the duration of my stay. In addition to the drink beggars I also dislike the music played in the girly bars. It’s normally loud techno-pop dance crap which grates on my nerves pretty quickly. Yeah, I know. Kids and their music these days said the old codger. To Dimples’ credit they had a nice mix of tunes played at a reasonable volume. Even a few country songs! I had a nice time there but there was still one more place I wanted to see before I ran out of time (and money).

I had read about Crazy Horse on some of the Philippines forums I frequent and I wanted to see if it was as good as everyone was saying. It is. It had a large stage chock full of very attractive young women who could actually dance. They did choreographed performances every bit as good as those you see in K-Pop girl band videos. And best of all I did not get approached or pestered even once for a lady drink. That’s how it should be, a great selection of girls willing to keep you company if company is what you want, but you have to make the first move. I really enjoyed just sitting there watching the gals dance and chatting with the other customers a bit. When I was ready to depart I walked to the stage and gave my favorite dancer a 100 peso tip for her efforts. Yeah, I’m a cheap Charlie but she seem appreciative of the compliment at least.

Caught a cab back to the hotel with no problem (they’ve got that much on Itaewon at least). Driver got lost on the way and was asking the drunk man in the back seat (me) for directions. I just shrugged and said I don’t know, it’s by a mall. He stopped and asked a trike driver which I guess worked because I did sleep in the right hotel last night.

This morning I enjoyed my last free breakfast and walked to the convenience store for some Coke Zero. It was locked up tight, not real surprising I guess for a Sunday morning in a Catholic country. Across the street in front of the also closed mall was a group of homeless folks laying about on the sidewalk. Most of them were young children. A depressing sight that I don’t expect I’ll ever get used to, and frankly, I’d hate myself if I did get used to it.

I learned a long time ago that it is a fool’s errand to give money to a beggar on the street. As soon as you do you will be besieged by fifty others. It can also be dangerous as I’ve heard of do-gooders being surrounded and having their pockets emptied by the prying fingers of these hungry waifs. So, I just don’t do it. I always feel like a prick when I tell a filthy child “no” when the say “I’m hungry”. After a few days I actually get depressed. Which is one of the things I’m going to have to factor into my decision on whether the PI is a viable re-retirement option for me. One thing I’d consider doing is sponsoring an orphanage with a monthly stipend of some sort. Maybe that would assuage the guilt I feel when I can’t (or won’t) respond to beggars.

Anyway, I looked in my wallet and I still had some small bills amounting to 160 pesos. I walked across the street and handed them to the oldest woman in the group whom I assumed was the grandma. I didn’t technically break my “no beggars” rule because they hadn’t asked, I just offered. Ah well, as I walked away five or six young boys followed me asking me to give them money too. I told them that’s all I have but they persisted in their efforts. I kept moving so as not to be surrounded and finally let loose. “No goddamn it,I told you that’s it. No more!” I used my big voice which put them back on the heels a bit and I made a beeline to the security of my hotel.

All packed up and waiting for my ride to the airport and the completion of my journey back to the first world.

Greetings from the Philippines

Posted on 22/June/2016 by John McCrarey

Davao City to be precise.

Checked into a hotel that offers wifi in the room so I was pretty damned excited. I have had a technician up to the room twice so far today to get it working. Thought I’d better post while the posting is good.

The view from the room…

President-elect Duterte was there to greet me when I checked in this morning…

Speaking of President Duterte, Davao City is his hometown and he’s been the mayor here for quite some time. Davao is known as the safest city in the PI and that is largely due to Duterte’s being strong on crime. By strong I mean that it is said he was not above using ~~hit squads~~ extra-judicial methods to rid the city of undesirables. Some other things he’s done include closing the bars at ungodly early hours and making Davao City smoke-free. I really dislike nanny-state shit like that but the people in this area are crazy about him.

I got a taste of the police state this morning. I was minding my own business and enjoying a little vaping time when I was accosted by a law enforcement officer. He told me sternly that I couldn’t smoke there. I responded as I always do in such situations “I’m not smoking, I’m vaping.” He seemed unimpressed and took me away…

…here. What a pain in the ass. I’ve since learned that Davao City’s smoking ordinance does in fact specifically include vaping. Bastards!

Anyway, this is clearly a city in which I could never live. Still, I’ve got a full day to kill here tomorrow so I’ll have to find a discreet way to skirt the law. I’ve already designated my hotel room a designated vaping zone.

Tonight it is samgyapsol for Maria’s birthday dinner.

Look for a full trip report with tons of photos when I return home to Korea this weekend.

Have a dream and hope!

Posted on 14/June/2016 by John McCrarey

At least that’s what this sign told me:

Lately, I just hope my dreams aren’t nightmares…

Best compliment yet on my new look– Bartender at Srooge Pub said ” I used to call you ajussi (uncle) but now I call you oppa (brother).” Should have shaved years ago!

Speaking of being not quite as invisible as I once was, while waiting to cross the street in Itaewon I caught this group of young ladies staring at me.

I’m not a piece of meat girls. I am a human being! Alright, so it was a bus stop advertisement. I can hope and dream!

With some of that free time I mentioned in my previous post I peruse the reader submissions at a Thai-centric website called Stickman Bangkok. As is common with this type internet venue, the quality of writing runs the gamut of truly awful to “this guy should be making money as a wordsmith”.

I’ve never been to Thailand (yet) but I do enjoy visiting vicariously through the submissions by those who have experienced the Thai life up close and personal. And my favorite writer who frequently posts at Stickman is Steve Rosse.

This story is a good example of his work. It’s a quick read and entertaining. Go now, I’ll wait here for you.

Good stuff, huh? I’m not all that interested in girly bars and whoring around these days, and neither is Steve. Although quite honestly, I’m never quite sure where truth and fiction reside within his work. That doesn’t lessen the genuine pleasure I get from his stories though.

Anyway, a few months back I read this story by Steve called “Cellies” and it was like being hit upside the head with a brick. He had artfully expressed in words something I had been doing frequently in the last few months of my ill-fated marriage–escaping to a better life in a world that existed only in my mind.

I was so moved I felt compelled to send him an email and thank him for his effort. I was a little surprised when Steve wrote me back. In his email he mentioned that if I enjoyed his writing I might consider purchasing some of his published work on Amazon. I told him I most certainly would. But then ~~I went of my six month bender~~ life intruded and I never got around to it. I did use one of his quotes in a blog post though.

Well fast forward to a week or so ago when I was catching up with StickmanBangkok where I read a submission by Steve called “The List”. And a couple of days later some anonymous asshole wrote a post that started off by attacking Steve and then went off on a rant delving deep into the sewers of misogyny. I was pissed and was working on an appropriate response in my head. I needn’t have bothered, because before I could put words on paper (or pixels in Word if you will) Steve came back with perhaps one of the top ten take downs in internet history.

I sent Steve a congratulatory email and told him his evisceration of “Anus Moony” had finally provided the motivation for me to keep my promise to buy some books. I guess for a writer that’s about the best thank you of all, right?

I’m quite certain these will provide excellent beach side reading entertainment next week.

And what beach might that be you ask? Why, lovely Samal island in the Philippines. Never been to that particular part of the PI, but it looks nice in the pictures.

My friend Maria will be my host and tour guide during my visit…

And that’s about where things stand at this particular moment in time.

Except for this:

I’ve been studiously avoiding engaging in Facebook banter with my friends on the left who all want to talk gun control while ignoring the hulking elephant in the room–Islamic terrorism.

Liberal logic. Now there’s an oxymoron for you.

Long Time Gone

Category Archives: The story of my life